Kevin Lowry's Blog, page 8

10 Ways for Men to Increase Family-Work Balance

My wife got run off the road today.

Some guy was in a big hurry and didn’t like the fact that Kathi had slowed down to merge onto the highway behind a school bus full of children. So he accelerated from behind her car, and drove up beside her, forcing her onto the berm. After almost causing multiple accidents, he weaved his way around further impediments in his road (OK, people in his road) and exited precisely five cars in front of her further down the highway. Unbelievable.

He was so focused on achieving his objective (whatever it was) that he risked untold carnage and mayhem. If things went badly, innocent people, including women and children, could have been hurt.

In thinking about this incident, I was struck by the thought that the same could be true if men develop a disordered dedication to work.

That sounds crazy, right? But how many of us struggle with work-family balance? And how many families have been torn apart because of ridiculous work schedules?

Kathi and I have struggled mightily in this area over the years. When we were young parents, I worked like crazy. My schedule at the CPA firm was insane, and our first three kids came along in two years and eight months flat. On top of it all, Kathi had premature labor with our third child, and was on strict bedrest for the last four months of the pregnancy.

After our daughter was born, it became apparent that the work-family balance thing wasn’t working, especially as I headed into tax season. That was the first time we hit a wall. I don’t recall her exact words, but Kathi said something like, “It’s either the job or me.”

I chose her, and changed jobs.

Fast forward a few years. Once again, I was working like a maniac. We were up to six kids, with Kathi expecting our seventh. But there were medical problems. This time, we weren’t sure the child would make it past birth, and beyond that, the diagnosis was grim. It seemed like life was spinning out of control. Another decision point.

I chose her again, and changed jobs.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Changing jobs isn’t always the answer. The changes we made took time, the process was messy, and we struggled with uncertainty, conflict, and self-doubt. We prayed fervently, discussed possible solutions, and consulted with trusted priests, family members and friends. But in over twenty years of marriage, with children (now eight of them), a house, a mortgage, and a career that has caused plenty of bumps and bruises, I have never regretted choosing my wife and children over my career.

For those seeking greater balance, here are a few hard-won ideas from a male perspective:

Put your priorities in order. Here’s my list, for what it’s worth: God, my wife, our children, my career, and everything else. Yes, my wife is more important to me than my kids. Not that they’re unimportant, rather she is super-important. Marriage is a vocation, and a sacrament. The best way to be a true leader in the family is to model virtue, to serve, and to pray like crazy. We need to imitate Christ in our lives. Some days I do better than others, and you probably do too, but we can never give up. Now here’s the challenge: our daily routine needs to reflect our priorities.
Only do God’s will. We always have time to do God’s will. If there isn’t enough time in the day, consistently, there are things on our to-do list that shouldn’t be there. Are we spending more time on social media than talking with our spouse? If you’re trying to find things to put aside, ask yourself what you would give up if your wife or child were extremely ill. Don’t wait until it actually happens. By the way, our seventh child David’s story ended pretty well, thanks be to God.
Work things out with your wife. If you’re called to run for President, you’re going to be putting in lots of hours. Make sure your wife is completely on board. That shared sense of calling is awfully important – it doesn’t make things easier, but if you’re on the same page about what God wants from you as a couple, that shared purpose will help you through the rough spots.
Live beneath your means. This is incredibly important. Kathi and I got out of balance early due to our implicit expectations of a certain lifestyle. This led us to take on debt and place a disordered emphasis on outward appearances. It’s a trap, avoid it like the plague.
Work like crazy when you’re at work. Don’t indulge in frivolous discussions about sports or workplace intrigue. Get your work done, do your absolute best and go home. Schedule a date with your wife each week, put kids’ events on your calendar, and treat your family as even more important than your most important client or even your boss.
Protect your marriage. Guys are visual creatures, so never buy into the “I can look at the menu as long as I eat at home” mentality. Guard your eyes. Maintain emotional distance from women who are not your spouse. Treat them with honor, like you would want other men to treat your wife in the workplace. Speak positively about your own wife. NEVER complain about her, especially to other women.
Stop and ask for directions. When you have trouble balancing, ask your wife for her advice – and her prayers. She probably knows you better than anyone else, and might have insight that would help you make things work. Just like we don’t usually stop to ask for directions when we’re lost, we also don’t ask for advice from our wives nearly enough.
Love your wife. This sounds trite, but if we treasure our wives properly when we’re at home, there would be a whole lot less consternation when we do need to work extra hours (for short periods of time, not as a lifestyle). Remember why we fell in love. Think about her many good qualities. Pray for her. Offer up small sacrifices for her. Think of what an honor it is to be received, with all our weaknesses, as a husband.
Facilitate one on one time. Make sure you set aside time just for your wife, without distractions. Kathi and I used to make time for getaways – perhaps a weekend every three months, and a week at least once a year. I’m talking about just the two of you, without kids. Family vacation is another week, and of course kids need “me and my dad time” too.
Don’t bring work home. Speaking of distractions, don’t bring work home with you if at all possible. I’ve not always succeeded here, but it’s important – particularly in this wired age – to turn off the cell phone, back away from the computer, and engage with our families.

This list is certainly not exhaustive. There are lots of ways to improve, and we need to fight this battle every day. With God’s grace, and plenty of determination, it’s also one we can win.

Our family is more important than our career. Let’s do our best to act like it. If you have other ideas that have worked well for you, please leave a comment.

Oh – and let’s drive safely too!

Catholic Family Fun: A Book Review

Sarah Reinhard is a genius.

When she approached me about reading her new book, Catholic Family Fun: A Guide for the Adventurous, Overwhelmed, Creative, or Clueless, I thought, “Wow, she wrote a book just for me. I’m clueless.”

Yes, I’m a husband and father of eight kids. But family fun doesn’t always come naturally – even (or perhaps especially) in what is often thought of as a “large family.” I dispute that eight kids is a large family, but that’s not the point. My role is too often that of dispute mediator, grievance adjudicator, and apologist for reality (“No, it’s not worth $1,000 for you to clean the basement.”)

Even worse, I fear that perhaps… I’ve become too detached from fun. It’s my own fault, really. I refer to my wife in jest as my “social director” and far too often defer to her in matters that might be construed as “family fun.” Maybe it’s my professional upbringing. I’m a CPA, for crying out loud.

I mean, seriously. Catholic family fun? I really am clueless.

So it was with some trepidation that I picked up Sarah’s new book. Happily, the foreword was from Greg Willits. As a recent guest of The Catholics Next Door on Sirius/XM, I thought Greg was a super guy. And he’s a guy. And a dad. And we want the same thing for our kids: “I want them to want God. Not because their mother and I want them to, but because they have chosen to make God a part of their lives.”

Greg goes on to make a compelling case that Sarah’s book equips dads (and all parents, for that matter) along the path of helping our families to heaven. Better still, it can be fun to do so.

I have a deep and resounding love for my kids, but this won’t help if I don’t invest in them. My love takes the form of time, talent, and sure – treasure. But the ideas in this book don’t require much of the latter. Here are just a couple of the ideas from the book that I’m itching to try:

The Unbirthday – my family loves birthday parties, and who doesn’t love a little pizza, cake and ice cream? For whatever reason, the distribution of birthdays in our family is concentrated around a couple times of year. In May, for example, we have no birthdays. Zero. Nada. It’s the perfect time for an unbirthday party!
Dinner with a Twist – certain members of my family like dessert, to the point of eating it before dinner. I love the notion of us all doing this together, or eating breakfast for dinner (we’re all about french toast.) Super idea.
Water fights – Who doesn’t like a good water fight in the summer? I like the specific activities Sarah suggests too, such as the water balloon toss.
Horseback riding – this one’s on the list simply because we’ve never done it as a family. I like the thought of breaking out of the normal routine every now and again, and doing something different. It’s these types of outings that often make for lasting memories.
Ora et Labora – prayer and work go hand in hand, and if done properly, work can be a form of prayer. I like the thought of the family working together while listening to the Divine Mercy chaplet in song or perhaps some good praise music. It’s important to me that the kids get a visceral sense that work isn’t just drudgery we need to get through – it actually brings us closer to the Lord. It’s like a Faith at Work theme in a family fun book!

So many of the ideas in Sarah’s book are terrific, and although you won’t use them all, you’ll use one here and there, or reach for this book when you need a new idea or two. By tapping into the “Faith Angle,” “Wider Angle,” and “Make It Your Own” sections, you’ll also be invited to look at character qualities (or deficiencies) in your family as opportunities for certain types of activities.

I agree with the inimitable Jen Fulwiler, whose opening blurb line says it all: “Every Catholic family needs this book on its bookshelf.” Amen!

Treating Others with Dignity

One alarming trend seen in many workplaces today is that of treating others poorly. It’s nothing new, of course. Yet don’t we all behave differently when we’re under pressure? And isn’t there plenty of pressure to go around these days?

I’ve been doing a series of “Faith at Work minutes” with the good folks at St. Gabriel Catholic Radio – AM820 in Columbus, Ohio. These one minute reflections are played locally each weekday morning just before 8:00 a.m., and they’re designed to provide just a little bit of encouragement as we begin our workdays. To my surprise, they have been picked up by various radio stations around the country.

As I pray, write these reflections and contemplate how to effectively live our faith fully in our work, I’m mindful of my own need for ongoing conversion. Yet certain themes seem to pop up over and over – and it seems that we can all benefit by striving to improve in these fundamental areas. One such theme is how we view and treat one another in the workplace. Here’s a recent Faith at Work minute on the subject (#44, if you want to hear the audio version):

Are people commodities?

At times, there have been workplaces where employees were treated this way. A couple years ago, I went on a father-son trip with two of my boys to a coal mine in Eastern Pennsylvania. We took a tour of the mine and learned about the various jobs miners performed, including young children. Jobs were in such short supply that if someone was hurt or killed, another person was immediately available to take his place.

The mines were dangerous, and wages were small given the enormous amount of work and risks involved. A mule was said to be worth more than a man, since a mule cost money to replace.

As Christians, we know people are never commodities – we’re all God’s children. Let’s pray for one another, and strive to treat our co-workers with the dignity they deserve.

After all, we are all endowed by Christ with unique gifts. To the extent we treat others with dignity and recognize these gifts, we honor Jesus Himself. Let’s renew our resolve to see Jesus in others, even when it’s difficult.

Have you been treated poorly or with great dignity in your work? If so, please share your story, I’d love to hear from you.

Kathleen Sebelius, Faith and Work

Kathleen Sebelius is undoubtedly a gifted, politically savvy, and extremely smart individual.

As Secretary of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), she leads a vast organization. She’s considered one of the most powerful women in the United States, and there’s widespread speculation about her bright political future.

But…

She’s not living her Catholic faith in her work.

None of us has a window into her conscience, nor any idea what’s going through her head. All we know is what has been reported: her Bishop in Kansas instructed her not to present herself for communion due to her public stance on abortion, and that instruction remains in place now that she’s in Washington.

Why does this matter?

Have you ever stopped to think about how our world would look… if every Catholic, including Secretary Sebelius, were faithful in their work?

What if we could serve others more effectively, and act with greater humility and gratitude? Treat others with increased honor, make serious decisions with extra prayer, forgive others? What would happen if Catholics did a better job exemplifying the beatitudes in the workplace? Leading, working, and following, with virtue?

It would be revolutionary.

Faith and work are not opposed – quite the opposite. Being faithful Catholics should cause us to become better workers, and being better workers should cause us to become more faithful Catholics. It’s actually a rare occurrence that there’s a direct conflict between faith and work. But we have one now, with the HHS contraceptive edict.

There’s only one solution for Kathleen Sebelius – and for the rest of us.

Conversion.

Look up “conversion” in the Catholic Encyclopedia, and you’ll see that “Every man is bound by the natural law to seek the true religion, embrace it when found, and conform his life to its principles.” (http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/04347a.htm) Conversion helps us make more faithful decisions. It reminds us that we need to change – not God.

There are plenty of people who put career, money, politics, or other worldly concerns ahead of faith. God doesn’t appear threatened. His invitation to conversion is just that – an invitation.

Not to say that responding to the invitation is easy. It’s awfully hard to see beyond long-established worldviews and ideologies. Repentance is also tough; it demands serious humility. Yet the joy of reconciliation is worth it all.

There are precedents. Some people respond to the invitation to conversion, even after many years of persistent persecution of the Church. The biblical conversion of Saul (later St. Paul) comes to mind. So there’s hope.

Kathleen Sebelius could continue down her current path, of course, and who knows, maybe she could become the first female President. What a legacy, some might say.

Would it be worth it?

On the other hand, perhaps she could choose the path of conversion, and her reward might be getting fired. Her political career could come to an end. She would be giving up a lot, for sure.

Would it be worth it?

Faithfulness at work is a choice. It’s not a political thing, an ideological “conservative versus liberal” thing, it’s about being faithful or not. For those who claim the title Catholic, it doesn’t mean perfection, but rather striving for faithfulness. Because our choices matter, and have ripple effects. For some people, tsunami effects.

Part of faithfulness is the liberation of obedience, recognizing that our own opinions are transcended by the cumulative wisdom of the Church – and that’s OK. We don’t have to be judge and jury on every issue imaginable. Truth doesn’t depend on poll results.

So regardless of what some Catholic politicians might say, faithfulness is not about openly opposing clearly defined Church doctrine.

It reminds me of the timeless words of Jesus: “For what does it profit a man, to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul?”

Indeed. Let’s pray for the conversion of Kathleen Sebelius. Faithfulness in her work wouldn’t be easy, but following the teachings of Jesus never has been easy. For those willing to try, however – a career filled with higher purpose now, and an eternity of joy to follow.

Note: See the webcast of Kevin’s Fox News.com Spirited Debate interview on this topic here.

“Books Change Our Lives”

Matthew Kelly inscribed a book for my son Daniel with the words “Books change lives” a few years back. The hard cover edition of Rediscovering Catholicism: Journeying Toward Our Spiritual North Star just resurfaced yesterday, and I was again struck by his words. I think he’s right.

In my efforts to get up-to-date on book reviews, here are three more that I highly recommend:

Style, Sex, and Substance: 10 Catholic Women Consider the Things that Really Matter. OK, I admit it. I actually got a copy of this book and read it before giving it to Kathi. In my continuing quest to figure out what makes my wife tick, it felt a little bit like receiving inside information from a reliable source.

As it turns out, that was quite correct.

Even though the primary audience is probably women, this is a deeply insightful book that is funny, substantive (to borrow the word) and will help the better half of the Church to strive for sanctity. With style.

Some of today’s most popular Catholic writers and bloggers wrote chapters, including Hallie Lord (Betty Beguiles herself), Jen Fulwiler, Danielle Bean, Simcha Fischer, and one of my personal favorites, Annie Mitchell (the Pat Benetar of Catholic radio). Whether you’re a woman looking for some encouragement and spiritual sustenance, or a guy trying to figure one out, this book is sure to please.

Three Irish Saints: A Guide to Finding Your Spiritual Style. By my friend Dr. Kevin Vost, I actually got to read an advance copy of this book a couple months ago. I loved it, and sent Dr. Vost a little blurb. Then, much to my surprise, a copy showed up in the mail the other day and the blurb made the back cover. Wow.

This is a terrific book, and it’s not just for the Irish. There are incredible stories of three saints (Saints Kevin of Glendalough, Patrick of Ireland, and Brigid of Kildare) and the fun part is that Dr. Vost uses the stories to illustrates three different spiritual styles: thinking (contemplation), doing (evangelization) and loving (charitable living). You can then take the test at the end and figure out your own “spiritual style.”

Do yourself a favor and get Three Irish Saints. You’ll be glad you did.

Mother Teresa and Me: Ten Years of Friendship. Another OSV author I’ve had the privilege to discover recently is Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle. Not only is she a terrific author, but in Mother Teresa and Me she tells the story of her interactions with Blessed Teresa of Calcutta over the course of many years, including copies of letters of their correspondence.

It’s a touching portrayal of how the holiness of one woman has an impact of extraordinary magnitude. Through her gentleness, devotion to the Lord, and submission even through a spiritual desert of sorts, Bl. Teresa rocked our world. Her influence on Donna-Marie and family was amazing, and some of the stories in the book were good for a tear or two despite my stoic proclivities.

This book, like Blessed Teresa herself, will inspire you as you get to know her and see God’s ability to do extraordinary work through ordinary people. It might even change your life.

Happy reading!

"Books Change Our Lives"

Matthew Kelly inscribed a book for my son Daniel with the words "Books change lives" a few years back. The hard cover edition of Rediscovering Catholicism: Journeying Toward Our Spiritual North Star just resurfaced yesterday, and I was again struck by his words. I think he's right.

In my efforts to get up-to-date on book reviews, here are three more that I highly recommend:

Style, Sex, and Substance: 10 Catholic Women Consider the Things that Really Matter. OK, I admit it. I actually got a copy of this book and read it before giving it to Kathi. In my continuing quest to figure out what makes my wife tick, it felt a little bit like receiving inside information from a reliable source.

As it turns out, that was quite correct.

Even though the primary audience is probably women, this is a deeply insightful book that is funny, substantive (to borrow the word) and will help the better half of the Church to strive for sanctity. With style.

Some of today's most popular Catholic writers and bloggers wrote chapters, including Hallie Lord (Betty Beguiles herself), Jen Fulwiler, Danielle Bean, Simcha Fischer, and one of my personal favorites, Annie Mitchell (the Pat Benetar of Catholic radio). Whether you're a woman looking for some encouragement and spiritual sustenance, or a guy trying to figure one out, this book is sure to please.

Three Irish Saints: A Guide to Finding Your Spiritual Style. By my friend Dr. Kevin Vost, I actually got to read an advance copy of this book a couple months ago. I loved it, and sent Dr. Vost a little blurb. Then, much to my surprise, a copy showed up in the mail the other day and the blurb made the back cover. Wow.

This is a terrific book, and it's not just for the Irish. There are incredible stories of three saints (Saints Kevin of Glendalough, Patrick of Ireland, and Brigid of Kildare) and the fun part is that Dr. Vost uses the stories to illustrates three different spiritual styles: thinking (contemplation), doing (evangelization) and loving (charitable living). You can then take the test at the end and figure out your own "spiritual style."

Do yourself a favor and get Three Irish Saints. You'll be glad you did.

Mother Teresa and Me: Ten Years of Friendship. Another OSV author I've had the privilege to discover recently is Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle. Not only is she a terrific author, but in Mother Teresa and Me she tells the story of her interactions with Blessed Teresa of Calcutta over the course of many years, including copies of letters of their correspondence.

It's a touching portrayal of how the holiness of one woman has an impact of extraordinary magnitude. Through her gentleness, devotion to the Lord, and submission even through a spiritual desert of sorts, Bl. Teresa rocked our world. Her influence on Donna-Marie and family was amazing, and some of the stories in the book were good for a tear or two despite my stoic proclivities.

This book, like Blessed Teresa herself, will inspire you as you get to know her and see God's ability to do extraordinary work through ordinary people. It might even change your life.

Happy reading!

Faith, Work, and The Journey Home

I asked my thirteen year old daughter to write this post for me. She wanted to write about herself – a great subject, to be sure, but not the one I had requested.

So I kept the computer. All she has is a tiny little iPod, not to mention strands of blue hair ("Dad, they're just extensions") so I'll write the post, and she can keep listening to music and reading her book. Besides, she's baking brownies, and that requires focus. I support her completely in this endeavor.

There's really not much to say today anyway, besides offering my sincere thanks to my friend and boss Marcus Grodi for the honor of appearing on The Journey Home show once again on EWTN. We discussed conversion, my new book Faith at Work: Finding Purpose Beyond the Paycheck, and the difference being Catholic has made in our lives.

In case you missed it, check it out below. Many blessings!

A Powerful Legacy

A few years ago, I attended a Rite of Election along with a friend of mine who was coming into the Church that Easter. Our Bishop presided over the ceremony, and asked how many people were there because of books they had read. A couple hands went up. "What about something you heard on the radio, or saw on television?" he asked. Another couple hands were raised. Then he asked, "How many of you are here because of a Catholic you know?"

Catechumen hands shot up across the parish, followed by a murmur that quickly erupted into spontaneous applause.

It was a powerful lesson.

Conversion to the Church is often a process, and while books, radio and television are indeed important, there is a particular potency to the witness of faithful Catholics. I had the opportunity to meet one such individual this week. She wants to remain anonymous, but let's call her Mrs. Angelo.

Mrs. Angelo's son, a good friend of mine, called a few weeks ago with what I thought was a stellar idea. Mrs. Angelo, a widow with eleven children, was turning 80 years old soon. Why not record a video interview with her, reflecting on her life and family, for the purposes of her children and dozens of grandchildren and great-grandchildren? Would I consider doing the interview?

Absolutely!

So this past week, we drove up to Mrs. Angelo's house. She fed us, of course, the kind of delicious, hearty fare that makes you thank God for Italian-Americans. We then did our best to locate a few photos that could be edited into the video.

Mrs. Angelo had lots of photo albums. Like many family albums, I found plenty of great pictures going back many years. Yes, with those hairstyles we now regret, glasses suitable only for Elton John, and even a bit of plaid. But what hit me between the eyes was all the pictures of kids – her photo albums were positively teeming with life!

At the interview itself, Mrs. Angelo told lots of funny stories about meeting her late husband, difficulties surmounted, risks taken, and the complete saturation of her life in the faith. It was an amazing experience, and one I won't soon forget. Just like my wife Kathi's grandmother pictured above (who I wrote about here), Mrs. Angelo is a truly beautiful woman.

How many people owe their gift of life to the faith of this one woman? How many others have been influenced along the way and seen the hand of God working through her? Only the Lord knows, of course, but I ended the day with a sense of profound gratitude and awe. Just as the pontificate of Blessed John Paul II had an enormous impact on souls around the world, the same can be said for one mother who said yes to God in a spirit of obedience and faithfulness. And just imagine the ripple effect.

If there's someone like this in your life, remember to say thank you. Chances are, they don't hear it enough. And if you have the opportunity, I highly recommend creating a family legacy video interview. It can be done pretty inexpensively with today's technology, and you'll always be grateful that you took the time to capture a unique piece of history.

My friend put his priorities in the right place with this project. As Catholics, we cherish our families – and just like when we pray the rosary, it's always worthwhile to honor Mom.

This Lent, Why Not Be More Faithful at Work?

My head was spinning. There I was, again, driving down the highway after a long day's work.

It was after nine o'clock at night, and I couldn't shake the feeling of hopelessness. No matter how hard I tried, it seemed that I wasn't spending enough time at work – or at home – to be successful.

Of course, it wasn't just work and home. I had gone on a retreat the previous year that had rekindled my desire to live the faith. Yet my prayer life was struggling. Despite only being in my 30's and healthy, I was physically worn out. The financial obligations kept piling up. If Christ was at the center of my life, it sure didn't feel like it.

Something had to give.

In looking back, I can see that my professional aspirations, drive for financial success, and relentless daily routine created the perfect storm for a gradual loss of perspective. Although my faith was real, it tended to be compartmentalized. In my zeal to succeed at work, I sometimes forgot about faithfulness.

Have you ever noticed that when we're not exactly where God wants us to be, He still invites us back on the right path? Sometimes, it's like a gentle tap on the shoulder. This time was more like a two-by-four upside the head.

I'll never forget the moment of impact – when we were expecting our seventh child, my wife (oh, did I forget to mention her and the kids?) found out that our baby had some major medical problems. Our world changed in an instant.

Actually, our priorities changed. Despite the harsh circumstances, it was like the lenses of my life suddenly became clear. I prayed constantly. My marriage was more important than my career. Family and kids really mattered. Sure, we all say it. But I didn't always act like it.

Our son David, now almost nine years old, serves as a reminder to keep my priorities in order. Through grace, and the prayers of many people, he overcame many of his challenges – thanks be to God.

Yet through the circumstances of his birth, it became evident that I couldn't sustain a CPA firm lifestyle, a family and a faith in the way I had been attempting to do for many years. It also became clear to me that success is useless without faithfulness.

The universal vocation to holiness entails allowing our faith to permeate every aspect of life, including work.

Since then, I've spent a lot of time praying, thinking, reading, and discussing the topic of faith in the workplace. As the son of a former Presbyterian minister with a Ph.D. in business, the conceptual confluence of faith and work seemed natural. Living it… not so much.

This Lent, I would like to invite you to think about ways you can become just a little more faithful in your daily work. Not just thinking about it, living it. If you're struggling somehow, like I was nine years ago, perhaps this is a little tap on the shoulder. Don't wait for the two-by-four!

Here are just a few things to consider:

· Begin the day with a morning offering, a short prayer offering the entire day to the Lord

· Build time into your daily schedule for quiet time and prayer – and don't be shy about praying for what's going on at work

· Turn your work itself into a form of prayer by doing your absolute best – and pray about your priorities, especially when you're busy

· Treat colleagues at work with the dignity and respect Jesus demonstrated towards even great sinners – and forgive those who hurt you

· Attend a spiritual retreat – they're great to help discern long-term career questions

These are just the tip of the iceberg – there are countless practical ways to gain perspective and ensure that your work and your faith are harmonized. In fact, by living out our faith at work, we can become more effective in both practical and spiritual terms.

This Lent, seize the opportunity to be more faithful at work – it will help you find greater purpose, turn some of the problems you encounter into real opportunities, and most importantly, bring you closer to our Lord and Savior. Let's pray for one another!

Note: With gratitude to Catholic News Agency for publishing this post in March 2012.

Three (or Four) Must-Read Books

OK, I admit it. There are a few ulterior motives behind writing my first book, Faith at Work: Finding Purpose Beyond the Paycheck. One is the preposterous notion that someone, someday, might ask me to go on their Catholic cruise and speak. Yeah, it hasn't happened yet.

I also thought it might be a good way to get out of a couple chores at home, like cleaning the kitchen several times a day, or taking out the garbage. No luck there either. Sigh.

On the bright side, getting an opportunity to meet or speak with other authors is awesome. People send you books, and you get to read incredible stories and hear about their real-life experiences of conversion and grace. My reading stack borders on being gluttonous. The only downside is promising people that you'll review their books, and then being deluged with even more stuff to read.

So while I'm waaaaay behind on book reviews, here are three (or four) absolute must-reads.

The first is by a new friend, Andreas Widmer – a former Swiss Guard during the pontificate of Blessed John Paul II! The Pope & The CEO: John Paul II's Leadership Lessons to a Young Swiss Guard is a fabulous book, relating lessons learned as a Swiss Guard that translated right into the executive suite. With chapters on subject such as "Know How to Choose What's Right: Exercising Your Free Will" and "Live Detachment: Intentional Humility and Poverty" you know there are some serious life lessons here.

I read the recap of vocation at exactly the right time… and loved the story of training the will involved in standing still as a statue for hours at a time. The touching account of the Pope's recognition of a lonely young Andreas on Christmas Eve, away from home for the first time, spoke volumes about precisely why Blessed John Paul II was such a powerful man: he emanated the love of Christ.

This book is a definite must-read.

Next, it's with a profound apology to Teresa Tomeo that this has taken so long. Apparently I'm going to be a guest on her radio show next week (March 27 at 9:40 a.m. EST on EWTN radio) and it hit me – I never reviewed her book! Argh!

I'm doubly embarrassed since Teresa is a fellow Legatus member, and was a guest on The Journey Home program last year. What an incredible job she did, too. This is one talented woman. It's not an easy path Teresa has blazed in the world of Catholic broadcasting, but in many ways, she really is a pioneer. Her book, Extreme Makeover: Women Transformed by Christ, Not Conformed to the Culture is yet another example of this fact.

I especially liked Chapter 5 on discovering beauty inside and out. If you're a regular visitor, you know that one of the most beautiful women I know is in her eighties (see that story here). Teresa's willingness to share her own struggles in this area is a deeply moving part of the chapter. There are so many great insights in the book, it's a great guy gift – yes, husbands, I'm talking to you. Your wife will love it, and you'll enjoy it too!

Another must-read.

Finally, I had the remarkable privilege of being a guest on Gus Lloyd's "Seize the Day" show on the Catholic Channel a couple weeks back. What a great guy! We had a great conversation, and after hanging up the phone I just felt like flying down to Florida and buying Gus a beer. Of course, it wouldn't take much for me to want to fly down to Florida and buy anyone a beer, but talking to Gus was like speaking with an old friend. His book is called Magnetic Christianity: Using Your God-Given Gifts to Build the Kingdom.

I loved the way Gus wrote this book – in a practical, down to earth manner. He speaks of the various virtues that help us all live the faith in our daily lives, according to the gifts that God gave us and with a boatload of grace along the way. There is plenty of good humor to be had, and practical questions and a prayer at the end of each chapter. If you like scripture, you'll be very comfortable with this book in your hands. And there are countless great insights you can put into practice – right now.

As a newbie author, I can assure you no one writes books in the Catholic market to make zillions of dollars – or if they do, they'll be disappointed. These books are all about providing encouragement to people, and inspiring us all to live our faith fully in an often challenging environment.

That's why I'll add just one more plug here – please consider making a sacrificial purchase of one or more of the above books (and I sure would appreciate you ordering a copy of Faith at Work too!) for yourself, or someone you know. These books can have a transformative impact on people – I've seen it, and experienced it myself. It's a beautiful thing.

I pray the Lord continues to bless Andreas Widmer, Teresa Tomeo and Gus Lloyd – and it's a privilege to recommend these terrific books.