Heather Holleman's Blog, page 45
October 23, 2022
Be Curious: Real Stories
After I wrote a book on having better conversations, I found myself so excited to talk to people. With the mindset of interpersonal curiosity (being truly curious about people) I would never get lost in a conversation again.
Last night, I took an Uber home from the airport, and I saw immediately how friendly and kind the driver seemed. I asked first how long he’d been driving. He told me he drove in the evenings, but that his day job involved excavating construction sites. What should I have asked next? I thought of the six pathways. Would I ask one of these?
Social: Do you like your coworkers?
Physical: Is it hard on your body? What’s the excavation site like?
Emotional: Do you like the work?
Cognitive: What do you think about when you’re working?
Volitional: How did you decide to become an excavator?
Spiritual: Do you find yourself feeling led by God sometimes to just the right person either at work on the site or in the Uber?
I prayed for wisdom and thought about what I really wanted to know at that moment. So I asked, “What’s the coolest thing you’ve ever found while excavating?”
That’s all it took.
He loved the question so much and even told me so. He said, “Actually, I recently found a very, very old horseshoe!” We talked about talked about what happened next about that horseshoe, how he cleaned it, and who wanted it. Then, I shared my own life (mutual sharing is the 4th Mindset of a Loving Conversation). I remember the time I found a horseshoe and how happy my family was because it signifies good luck before we moved from Ft. Lewis Washington to Alexandria, Virginia! I had to ponder: When and why did horseshoes becomes symbols of good fortune? Oh! There was so much to talk about!
On the ride home, I felt so delighted and connected to someone who also found a horseshoe once. What might have been a lonely drive home now became something wonderful.
The Six Conversations is simple, beautiful, and joyful. You’ll never feel lost in a conversation again.
October 22, 2022
October 21, 2022
A Truth to Repeat
I read Psalm 107 this morning and text this verse to my family: In verse 9, we read:
For [God] satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.
I love remembering how God satisfies. He gives good things. Simple. Profound. A truth to repeat all day long.
October 20, 2022
Learn Something New
This morning I remembered a lovely quote from T.H. White in The Once and Future King. We find a moment when King Arthur feels depressed. Merlin replies, “The best thing for being sad . . . is to learn something. That’s the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then — to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a lot of things there are to learn.”
The brain likes to learn. When we’re curious and decide to learn something new, it does indeed feel delightful and often takes our minds off of feeling sad or discouraged. I love the particular focus created when I’m attempting to learn something new. It’s wonderful!
In my world, I need to learn things related to technology in the classroom. I need to learn about better tools for podcasting and web design. I need to learn what motivates students and how to assess for learning in new ways. I love to learn!
I love learning new things about Jesus in the Bible, too. I hope we all never lose a desire to learn something new each day. And I’m not talking about news or information about other people through social media; I’m talking about skills or knowledge for personal growth and worship. What if we all decided to try and learn something new every day?
October 19, 2022
Writing on the Wall: A Timely Reminder to Believe the Best
I spy this on hanging on the wall of a church office: Always pray to have eyes that see the best in people, a heart that forgives the worst, a mind that forgets the bad, and a soul that never loses faith in God.
October 17, 2022
A Perfect Little Autumn Moment
I’ve been talking to my daughter about how we don’t need to craft our own perfect day. Let God do it. He’s the source of all beauty, abundance, and true life. God is the One Who leads us besides the still waters and restores our soul as only He knows how. We often don’t know what we need, what will lead us to happiness, and what will provide joy. We scramble and fight for the good life and imagine it’s somewhere else, in a different town, in a better life. But no. Let God build a moment. Let God build your whole life.
We turn the corner and see the most gorgeous little autumn tree. This is our life and our perfect day.
October 16, 2022
Not Withholding
This morning, I read Psalm 84:11 and thought about the goodness of God:
For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.
I think about God as a sun: He illuminates our paths, warms our hearts, and gives us joy. As a shield, He protects. And God bestows. He is a God of endless giving, overflowing abundance, and beautiful gifts.
In the case of Psalm 84:11, God gives favor and honor and good things. In Christ, we appear before Him as blameless and righteous, so I know we’ve met that standard of being blameless because of Jesus. So what now? What can we expect from God? Good things. Warmth and illumination. Protection. Favor. Honor.
I like to remind myself that if I feel God is withholding some good thing from me, it’s because for whatever reason, that thing was not good for me, or it wasn’t good for me at that time. This reasoning doesn’t always work in the face of loss, however. But then, I also experience such peace when I realized that Jesus is my ultimate Good Thing. And in John 3:34, we know that “God gives the Spirit without limit.” In other words, He does not withhold Himself from us. He gives Himself, in the form of the Holy Spirit dwelling in our hearts, without limit. No good thing of Himself does He withhold from us.
October 15, 2022
Classic Autumn Day
Today felt like a classic autumn day in Pennsylvania. Great coffee, cozy sweaters, a walk as golden leaves showered down, football, and a fire pit with friends in the evening. Some days feel near perfect.
October 14, 2022
A Few Things Well
As I’ve grown older, I realize the importance of developing expertise in just a few areas. It’s helpful to others and joyful for you. By now, I’ve become an expert in writing instruction, an expert in finishing manuscripts, and an expert in public speaking. I want to become an expert in theology and an expert in parenting adult children, but these categories will always continue to offer new opportunities to learn more and more. I’m nowhere near where I want to be.
When I was in my 20’s, I sought to develop expertise in 5 areas: teaching, hospitality, prayer, evangelism, and writing. I studied, sought mentorship, and practiced. I kept growing in the areas of teaching and writing, and along the way, I had to learn the craft of public speaking. To grow expertise, you commit yourself to the study of something. This year, I’d love to learn more about prayer. Does one ever become an expert in that area? I’d love to learn more in the area of hospitality as well.
October 13, 2022
I Still Paint the Acorns
Last night, my daughter and I invited some children to our annual acorn painting evening. We had so much fun!! Go collect acorns. Grab all your old nail polish or paints. Invite people over. Paint the acorns! Display them in a bowl somewhere for a whimsical, bright, and joyful decoration.
