Heather Holleman's Blog, page 42

Happy Thanksgiving: Commit to Gratitude

This morning, I thought again about committing to live a life of gratitude. Could I become a person who reflects 1 Thessalonians 5:18 at all times? Consider it: Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

This is God’s will for us. How clear! How wonderful! But how?

I’ve been keeping a gratitude journal as a spiritual and mental health practice for years. You can start now. Each morning, write down five specific things you’re thankful for. Instead of complaining, thank God. Instead of wishing you were somewhere else, thank God. Instead of detesting another person, thank God for them because of how God uses that person to help you grow into maturity. Instead of seeing everything in a negative light, find the good. Find the divine. Find the truth that God works “all things for good.” This is a different, joyful way to live.

The post Happy Thanksgiving: Commit to Gratitude appeared first on Heather Holleman.

Divine Dwelling Place

I love to remember everything I learned when I wrote Guarded by Christ several years ago. Hannah Whitall Smith’s book, The God of All Comfort, heightened my awareness of my interior life as this fortress of perfect peace because I’m abiding in Christ. This morning, I read these words that apply so well to those of us feeling unsettled, anxious, and uncertain. She writes this:

The names Jehovah-shammah and Emmanuel mean. . . that God is everywhere present in His universe, surrounding everything, sustaining everything, and holding all of us in His safe and blessed keeping. It will help you if you will put your trust into words. Say, “God is my dwelling place, and I am going to abide in Him forever. it is all settled: I am in this divine habitation and I am safe here and I am not going to move again.”

I love thinking of this divine habitation as a fixed place; no matter where I travel or where I find myself, the outward circumstances never remove me from my safe, blessed place of abiding in Christ. He is my dwelling place.

The post Divine Dwelling Place appeared first on Heather Holleman.

Our Favorite Game to Play in a Group

If you need a fun family game that works for all ages (you might assist those who cannot read or write), try this one! Some call it “Fish Bowl,” but I’ve heard it called many things. Basically, you do this:

Have every person write down Thanksgiving themed words or phrases on slips of paper that they fold in half. You want a big collection of words, so encourage everyone to write down at least 3 different words on different slips of paper. Put the folded slips of paper into a bowl. For each round, different team members will take turns picking folded slips of paper out of the bowl, looking at the word (without showing anyone).

Split into two teams. Play the following rounds setting a 1-minute timer.

Round 1: Taboo

In this round, the Team One picks a member to try to get the other team members to guess the word on the slip of paper using descriptions without saying any part of the word or phrase. Then Team Two does the same thing. You keep the used slips of paper out of the bowl.

Round 2: Charades

In this round, put all the original slips of paper back in the bowl. Team One and then Team Two try to get teammates to say the word (s) on the slip of paper using only hand gestures and acting out (no speaking).

Round 3: Say Just One Word

In this round, put all the original slips of paper back in the bowl. Team One and then Team Two try to get teammates to guess the word (s) by only saying one word.

Round 4: One Gesture

In this round, put all the original slips of paper back in the bowl. Team One and then Team Two try to get teammates to guess the word (s) by using only one hand gesture.

Round 5 (optional tie-breaker): Pictionary

In this round, put all the original slips of paper back in the bowl. Team One and then Team Two try to get teammates to guess the word (s) by drawing images (no letters) on a sheet of paper.

Enjoy family time and great games this holiday!

The post Our Favorite Game to Play in a Group appeared first on Heather Holleman.

A Note About Wisdom

This morning I woke up thinking about wisdom. I often ask God for wisdom. I recently read the book of James where we are told to do so. We read in James 1:5 that “if any of you��lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” Asking for wisdom feels like the right prayer these days.

So this morning, I recalled a passage of scripture that mattered so deeply to me as I studied to earn my PhD at the University of Michigan. Everyone around me seemed so very intelligent. They used words I didn’t understand. They read critical theory I didn’t understand. Two professors mocked my Christian faith (using vocabulary I didn’t understand). With everyone making me feel foolish for following Jesus, that semester, I clung to 1 Corinthians 1:18-25. Paul writes this:

For the message of the cross is foolishness��to those who are perishing,��but to us who are being saved��it is the power of God.��For it is written:

���I will destroy the wisdom of the wise;
��������the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate.���

Where is the wise person?��Where is the teacher of the law? Where is the philosopher of this age?��Has not God made foolish��the wisdom of the world?��For since in the wisdom of God the world��through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save��those who believe.��Jews demand signs��and Greeks look for wisdom,��but we preach Christ crucified:��a stumbling block��to Jews and foolishness��to Gentiles,��but to those whom God has called,��both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God��and the wisdom of God.��For the foolishness��of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness��of God is stronger than human strength.

Where is the wise person? This person knows Jesus and teaches “Christ crucified.”

I also turned with joy to Colossians 2:3 where I read that “in Christ are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.”

In Christ is wisdom. Christ is the “wisdom of God.” Jesus holds all the wisdom. So when I’m thinking about building a life of wisdom, I think about Jesus. And I go back to the book of James, written by Jesus’ brother. He says:

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it��by their good life, by deeds��done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition��in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.��Such ���wisdom��� does not come down from heaven��but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic.��For where you have envy and selfish ambition,��there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven��is first of all pure; then peace-loving,��considerate, submissive, full of mercy��and good fruit, impartial and sincere.��Peacemakers��who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.

The wise person: focused on Jesus, humble, peace-loving, considerate, submissive, impartial, sincere. The unwise: ignores Jesus, arrogant, divisive, rude, inconsiderate, rebellious, and insincere.

Lore, help us grow in wisdom.

The post A Note About Wisdom appeared first on Heather Holleman.

“Prayer Releases God’s Power”

I’m reading a book on prayer by Wesley L. Duewel called Touch the World Through Prayer. So far, I’ve loved the idea that prayer is actually the greatest source of power we know. There’s nothing greater. I’m astonished to think of the idea of how our prayer “releases God’s power.”

Where do we need that power released? For whom? For what purpose? I’m excited to read on. I’m even more excited to talk to God. If anything, I’m learning to pray, “God, release your power here!”

The post “Prayer Releases God’s Power” appeared first on Heather Holleman.

Talking to Strangers: Favoritism Forbidden

Since I wrote a book on having great conversations (even with strangers), I put my own research to the test whenever I’m out in public. Yesterday, I stood in line with my daughter at the grocery store. But I had a problem:

The woman in front of us���who I might have engaged in conversation��� wasn’t someone we’d ever find ourselves socializing with. In fact, she didn’t look very kind. She didn’t look well-groomed. She didn’t look very happy. I had never seen her before in my life. I didn’t feel drawn, in any way, to talk to her.

But then, I did.

I noticed she placed a piece of fresh ginger the size of my arm on the checkout belt.

Be curious. Believe the best.

I glanced at my daughter and took a deep breath. “I noticed you have an enormous piece of ginger!” I called out to her. “I’m dying to know what you use all of the ginger for.”

She turned slowly around to me. Suddenly, her whole face lit up. She smiled and her eyes sparkled as she told my daughter and me all about her extra harvest of carrots and how she makes the best carrot-ginger soup. She told us her secret of how to make the soup, and as she talked, she became more and more beautiful to me.

“Do you also make beef stew with your root vegetables?” I asked.

On and on we talked about her beef stew recipe and the expensive red wine she uses in it. She told me how to partially cook the potatoes the right way and how to sear the meat.

As we waited for the cashier, I told her that my daughter and I had just been talking about getting our nails done and whether the square shape or almond shape is better for nails. “What do you think?” I asked.

She pulled back her old sweatshirt to reveal the most exquisite nails. She had a special polish that changed color in various lights. She turned her hand side to side, and we marveled about the purple, the blue, the gold, the pink, and then the red we saw. She then interrupted us and turned to open her arms wide to greet an employee she knew. My daughter and I noted that many people seemed to know this woman.

The woman turned to say goodbye to us, and I felt like I now had this super-cool, glamorous, foodie friend. “I’ll see you around!” I said.

“Yes! And I’ll check in on how the beef stew goes if you try it. Don’t forget the red wine.”

As my daughter and I walked to the car, my daughter whispered, “Mom, I would have never asked a question to that person. And look! She is an expert in the kitchen and so glamorous.”

The next morning, I turned to James 2, and the Holy Spirit drilled the truth into my mind. Do not show favoritism. Do not judge people.

We read this:

My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, ���Here���s a good seat for you,��� but say to the poor man, ���You stand there��� or ���Sit on the floor by my feet,��� have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? 

I almost showed that woman no “special attention.” I almost missed the joy of that warm, loving conversation. Lesson learned.

The post Talking to Strangers: Favoritism Forbidden appeared first on Heather Holleman.

The Time for Creativity

If you’re new to the blog, you’ll see how I sometimes talk about the writing life or give an inside look into the publishing industry. I spend a lot of time thinking about writing, creativity, and work, so today, you’ll read about the business of writing and what I’m learning about how to stay creative as a career author.

What most people don’t know about publishing books is the business behind it hall. Usually, you focus on book marketing for at least six weeks after your book releases. If you work with a traditional publisher, you’ll work with a marketing manager and a publicist who help you with anything from social media, mailings, and interviews on podcasts, radio, and sometimes television. With Moody Publishers, you’ll enjoy many radio interviews since they own 71 radio stations. This time around, I’ve received more requests than with any other book for radio and podcast interviews, so when I’m not teaching at Penn State, grading, or meeting with students, I’m normally taking on 2-3 radio or podcast interviews a day. This doesn’t include in-person speaking engagements and lots of travel.

It might sound glamorous and exciting to aspiring authors, but it truly is a lot of work. And you might not like all of this work. I don’t say this as a warning or a discouragement; I write to tell you what to expect and how to survive. And here’s how to survive:

My best advice for staying creative when you’re also promoting a book (or any creative project of yours) involves two vital tips:

1. Remember you’re a writer. That’s who you are. Writers write. Which leads to #2

2. Start as soon as you can on your next writing project. This keeps your mind free from the entanglements of sales and ratings. Start dreaming. Send out proposals. Write, write, write.

If you’re a writer, and if writer’s write, go ahead and give yourself permission to build a writing life, and keep your creative life as a priority. It’s not so much a matter of time as it is a focus of your heart and mind. You’re a writer. Writers write.

So that’s why I blog every day and keep my notebook of ideas for the next project right beside me. If you’ve just completed one project (and you don’t want to drown in the marketing of it), start on your next great idea.

The post The Time for Creativity appeared first on Heather Holleman.

Some Great Questions to Ask Others During Your Holiday Gathering

Every year, I provide some of my favorite questions to ask others during the holidays. But this year, I wanted to start by reminding us all of the mindsets we need even before we ask the first question.

We all need to grow in at least one category of The Four Mindsets (from The Six Conversations). And when we get these down, we lay the foundation for warm connections. Be curious. Believe the best about others. Express concern. Share your life. If we desire loving and warm connections around the holiday table, we can start here. Most people arrive to a holiday gathering and struggle to believe the best and to ask great questions rooted in interpersonal curiosity.

Next, I’m learning to shift my understanding of what a conversation is for. If you want that warm and loving connection, remember the 3 Fresh Goals of great conversation: encouraging others, helping them in their personal goals, and leading others to a state of awe or marveling.

Encourage. Help. Marvel.

The goal is not to win. The goal is not persuasion to your political position. The goal is not to trap, mock, or shame. Save that for your debate tournaments.

The goal here is loving, warm connection.

Once I’m prepped with the right mindsets and fresh goals, I’m ready to ask some great questions in all the categories of what it means to be human. Here’s a list of 15 questions to start a conversation (especially with children or college students). I also provide an idea of where to go next in the conversation. Here you go:

What are you looking forward to in 2023? (emotional)What���s frustrating you the most about school / work? (emotional)What song do you keep listening to? (physical)Have you changed anything about your room / dorm room / house? (physical)What have your pets been up to? (social)Where do you need the most advice right now in your life? (volitional)Have you tried any new foods / restaurants? (physical)Your skin / hair / clothes look so great! What is your ritual or secret? How do you get it that way? (physical)What was your favorite way to procrastinate this semester? (volitional) What is the best picture on your phone? (physical)What question do you not like answering? (emotional)What question do you like people to ask you? (emotional)What have you been thinking about lately? (cognitive)Have you been doing anything to develop your spiritual life? Teach us! (spiritual)Have your friends made any big decisions lately? (volitional and social)

THEN:

Who else will be / was there?Why do you love it?How did your body handle it? What was it like?What are you hoping to learn? What did you think about that?How did you decide to do that? Tell me the whole story!Does this relate at all to your spiritual life?

The post Some Great Questions to Ask Others During Your Holiday Gathering appeared first on Heather Holleman.

So You’d Find It

A dear friend and neighbor sent me a delightful message yesterday regarding the errors in my blog. He’s so kind as he points out my spelling or wording mistakes. He’ll always say, “I think you meant this . . . ” He’s an excellent proofreader!

I laughed out loud because of how little shame or embarrassment I felt, even as a writing professor and grammar expert.

He wondered if maybe I left little mistakes on purpose for him to find as a test to see if he read my blog that day. I laughed out loud again. The idea made me realize the beauty of making mistakes, not just for others to find, but because when you make an error, it actually invites other people in. They can become part of the journey, part of your life, and part of your project as they offer wisdom and instruction. It’s not a source of shame to fail; it’s always an opportunity.

The younger me might have burned with shame to miss a mistake while proofreading. Who cares? I make mistakes; I’m not perfect. And now, you enjoy the fun of finding where I’m wrong and helping me out. Sometime in the last 10 years, I got over myself and my need to impress or be perfect. And not being perfect means others can shine. So there’s probably many errors to find in my future. That’s living with flair!

I look forward to many more messages that begin with, “Heather, I think you meant this.”

The post So You’d Find It appeared first on Heather Holleman.

When You Feel Exiled

This morning, I thought about exile. Essentially, this isn’t our true country or our true home; we are “foreigners and strangers on earth” (Hebrews 11:13). Our citizenship isn’t here. It’s in heaven (Philippians 3:20). As I drove to work, I asked God to help me to remember how to live while in exile. In exile, nothing feels like home. In this strange land, people shoot one another. People suffer from cancer. People deal with trauma from their childhoods and never feel right inside. People don’t worship a holy God. People have been deceived into thinking evil is good and good evil. It’s an upside down world. Remind me how to live here. Remind me what to do.

I think of the word of God to exiles in Jeremiah 29. The words bring deep comfort and direction as I consider how much suffering and confusion exists in this place that’s not my home:

This is what the��Lord��Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried��into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon:�����Build��houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce.��Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease.��Also, seek��the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray��to the��Lord��for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.���

The verbs help me. Build. Settle down. Plant. Eat. Marry. Have a family. Let my children marry. Increase. Seek peace and prosperity for my city. Pray for it. I park my car and walk to my office. I work. I pray. I seek peace.

The post When You Feel Exiled appeared first on Heather Holleman.