Heather Holleman's Blog, page 134

I will gather you. I will bring you home.

I’m reading Zephaniah–a book of the Bible I haven’t read in a while. I read from the same Bible I read as a college girl, so I can see my notes and thoughts on certain passages from as far back as 1994. Back then, this verse mattered deeply to me as a promise to all of God’s children.

“I will give them praise and honor
    in every land where they have suffered shame.
At that time I will gather you;
    at that time I will bring you home.
I will give you honor and praise
    among all the peoples of the earth
when I restore your fortunes
    before your very eyes,”
says the Lord.

I thought about the nature of God to always restore praise and honor in places of shame. I thought about how He gathers the lost and the wandering and the fractured pieces of our own hearts and brings us home. Home: the place where you’ve always belonged; the place of acceptance and favor and delight; the place of true rest and comfort; the place of joy and safety. I noted then how God always restores. He is a restorer of all we’ve lost and One who brings fortune in place of impoverished areas both within us and without.

Back then, I had no good understanding of theology or what this passage actually meant for the nation of Israel. Was it a prophecy about heaven? As I grew in my understanding of scripture, I learned to always read the now-and-not-yet. I learned that the work is already beginning within us now to be fulfilled fully in eternity. I learned to seek out the unchanging character of God reflected in passages I couldn’t understand completely.

So all I knew back then was that the God I was following could turn shame to honor. He makes the lost found. He gives the poor His riches. And I loved Him more and more.

Staying Open to Joy

I’ve walked past this tree for days and days and hadn’t yet seen it. I was too busy, looking downward, or looking too far ahead on the path. But on this particular day, I slowed down to notice it. One can marvel at something so gnarled and dark underneath and so light and joyful on top. Someone remarked that it’s a metaphor for our own lives once we let Christ in. He covers us with His beauty and glory and makes it so that dark, tangled mess of a former life now adds to the wonder He’s made of us.

The Fuel We Need

This morning, our family enjoyed a wonderful church service in our living room. We took communion as a family together with our online virtual church family. What a special time!

The pastor preached on such a wonderful passage of scripture. It’s John 14:6, perhaps the most important thing we could think about today.

Here Jesus says this: “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” I also love the verses that follow that truly provide the basis for Christian belief. Jesus says, “If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”

Philip, of course, says, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.” Then Jesus says this in verse 9: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father.”

Jesus is the way the truth and the life. He is the exact representation of God. When we look at Him, we see the Father as well. This is all I need to know.

The pastor quoted a part of C.S. Lewis’s Mere Christianity I had forgotten and I now treasure when I think of Jesus’s words in John 14. Lewis famously states:

“Now God designed the human machine to run on Himself. He Himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to burn, or the food our spirits were designed to feed on. There is no other. That is why it is just no good asking God to make us happy in our own way without bothering about religion. God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there.”

God is the fuel and the food we were designed to run on. We have no happiness and peace apart from Jesus.

I took communion with my family and worshipped Jesus afresh.

A Great Promise from God

This morning I read in Isaiah 48:17 a beautiful promise: This is what the Lord says your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.”

I love how God describes Himself. In this passage in Isaiah, we’re reading God’s word to the nation of Israel, so sometimes it’s not the best interpretation to apply these words to our individual lives. But in this case–and in other passages where God reveals His nature, intention, and unchanging character–we can see something so reassuring and wonderful about God: He teaches us what is best for us and directs us in the way we should go.

You may wonder how God does this. How does He teach and direct you? In addition to teaching through His authoritative word in the Bible, God teaches us through wise counselors who love Jesus. And most miraculously, those who follow Jesus have the Holy Spirit residing within them as their counselor and teacher. After reading this verse in Isaiah this morning, I thanked God for His teaching and direction in the past and to this very day. I thanked Him that He would direct me in the future by His Holy Spirit. It’s a great prayer to then ask God to help you allow the Holy Spirit to do this.

I love the inclusion of those words “for you.” God would teach His people what was best for them and they wouldn’t need to compare themselves to others. I like to remember this when I think about what is best for me. It might look different from the lives of others.

Maybe Start Dreaming

Sometimes my daughter and I dream of renovation ideas for the bathroom. We find new elements, price them, and dream of one day. We both realize it might take a long time, but it’s always fun to work towards something and to dream.

I think it’s a sign of being in a good mental space when you begin to dream again. But for some of us, we cannot possibly picture a future because of our particular situation with COVID19 and the effect on our livelihood. We aren’t sure what to dream about or what to plan for. This, of course, only relates to material matters. It never applies to spiritual ones. Our physical situation can never hinder (in fact, it usually advances) our spiritual growth and desire to become more and more like Jesus. What would we dream for ourselves for next week, month, or year? If our interior renovation dreams came true, what would change about us? I think of ways I want to grow as a woman of prayer, of extraordinary faith and hope and joy. I think of growing in perseverance, in worship, and in wisdom.

It’s time to dream of renovation!

Just Some End-of-Day Light in the Trees

The Night Before

I’ve always said that a great day begins the night before. I take my own advice after a day of feeling rushed, tired, and overwhelmed again. I remember how to set up for a wonderful morning today by beginning last night.

You can do all sorts of activities to prepare for a great morning. You can empty the dishwasher the night before and set out what you’ll need for a great breakfast. You can tidy the whole house. You can do a load of laundry, set out an outfit, plan your meals, or anything else that makes the day feel planned and organized when you wake up. Try it! At least try the part about emptying the dishwasher and preparing the kitchen for your morning. See how you feel!

You can also pamper yourself the night before in ways that make you feel refreshed in the morning like creating a night time routine to tuck yourself in. This might include all the things my teen girls have taught me including face masks, serums, moisturizers, deep conditioning hair products, or anything that helps replenish how dried out your skin and hair might feel. In the morning, you’ll glisten.

Finally, you can do what scripture suggests about nighttime activities: You can read and meditate on God’s word (Psalm 1); you can “search your heart” (Psalm 4:4) to confess sin the Holy Spirit reveals; you can unburden your mind (1 Peter 5:7) and your can rejoice and thank the Lord for all that has happened in your day as a way of singing for joy “on your bed” (Psalm 149:5).

I think about chores, pampering, and spiritual practices that help usher in a great new morning. I tried these things last night, and this morning, I found myself in a lighter state–with room to breath–as I turned towards the morning practices that create a great day (another post!).

“I give you yourselves.”

I keep going back to the same little line in The Magician’s Nephew, the first book in C.S. Lewis’s Chronicles of Narnia. At creation, we read of a special gift given to the animals in Narnia. “’Creatures, I give you yourselves‘, said the strong, happy voice of Aslan.”

I give you yourselves.

There’s something about God giving the gift of selfhood, the gift of being 100% yourself. The creatures now have an authentic voice. The creatures in Narnia are free and more themselves than they have ever been.

Meanwhile, I’m listening to Donald Miller talk about how much he enjoys being himself and how he’s learned to like himself. And I thought about the number of people I know who love being themselves. I thought of how these friends call forth the real me, too. Then I remembered a quote I underlined about a character named Clare in Marisa de los Santos book Love Walked In. She describes the self-possession and confidence of this young girl like this: Clare belonged to herself. Clare liked being Clare.

This got me thinking: How do we help people learn to like themselves? I want to raise daughters that love their own company. I want to raise daughters that like themselves deeply and truly.

I give your yourselves.

Online Teaching Update: The Easiest I Can Make It

It’s the last week of class at Penn State. What a journey it’s been to transition to online teaching! What a journey to grow alongside these students into a new way of living and learning! I will remember this time always.

I woke up thinking about how, normally, things should feel harder in a residential classroom when there’s not a pandemic happening. Semesters should normally rise to a crescendo towards difficulty. The peer workshops become more vital and directed and the expectations of complexity become higher. Hard. Hard. Hard.

But we’re in a COVID-19 world where students feel more drained, more confused, and more uncertain. Their job searches have fallen apart. Their secured internships have dissolved. Their study abroad plans have been canceled. And I feel as drained as ever. It’s not the time to add more work to their lives or mine. It’s a time to streamline, unburden, and focus on a few key writing skills. I’ve learned to ask what’s absolutely necessarily. I toss out the rest.

(For my own life, this: streamlined, unburdened, focused. I ask what’s necessary today. I can say no to everything else. I go back to my theme of Jesus teaching me the easy and light path.)

Easy doesn’t mean it’s not good. Easy doesn’t mean it’s not meaningful or rich. Easy doesn’t mean we’ve given up. Easy also doesn’t mean we aren’t still working hard. It means we are working better. Easy means we release some pressure. We let some air out of the balloon that’s our stressful lives.

So this week, we write. We don’t meet on Zoom and write that day instead. We come to online class to celebrate and cheer for our favorite writing we accomplished during the semester. It should feel easy. It should feel fun.

So I keep asking: How easy can I make this for you? Let me! Unburden yourself! And I feel like the Lord asks me the same thing each new day.

Some Little Delights

Today I’ll offer some activities that currently bring some joy: rereading The Chronicles of Narnia (and then watching the movies), seeing minnows and trout swimming in the creek, and lastly, knowing where owls nest and raise their owlets (I’m visiting this evening for the first time–if the rain stops).

On this last point: my birding friends told me where to look to find the eagles nesting as well as owls in our town. I’m excited both to simply know they are there and to one day visit these spots.