Libby Gill's Blog, page 7

Resilience: It’s Not What You Think with Eileen McDargh

Libby speaks with Eileen McDargh about resilience and why it may not be exactly what you think it is. Eileen is the Founder and CEO of The Resiliency Group and author of several books, including Burnout to Breakthrough: Building Resilience to Refuel, Recharge, and Reclaim What Matters. In addition to discussing burnout in the workplace, she addresses several ways to rebuild your resilience muscle and how to control the controllable.

Eileen shares: 

The importance and necessity of self-leadershipWhat true leadership is and how you act with your sphere of influenceHow her book helps you go through the process of burnout to breakout What preemptive resilience is and why we need itThe specific case studies she performed on burnoutWays to create connections that give you energyAnd so much more

Eileen’s Action Step: To invent your future, try reverse goal setting by writing down what you DON’T want in order to figure out what you do want and build the foundational steps to get there. To build resilience, have a journal and write down three things you’re thankful for everyday as well as once a month, do something you’ve never done before – it doesn’t need to be earth shattering – anything that will force you to step out of your comfort zone a bit (plan a day for this and make it the same date of the month, every month)

Connect with Eileen: 

https://www.eileenmcdargh.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/eileenmcdargh/

https://www.facebook.com/speakereileen/

Book a discovery call with Libby at https://libbygill.com/#contact

A Little Girl, a Big Idea, and a Cabbage

This week, I had the honor of delivering a virtual Creating a Hope-Driven Culture keynote to a group of lawn and landscape professionals who own and operate businesses across the country.

In keeping with the inspirational theme of the event which was dubbed HOPE2020, I told them the story of a remarkable young woman named Katie Stagliano who I interviewed several years ago for my book Capture the Mindshare and the Market Share Will Follow.

Katie was nine years old when she brought a cabbage seedling home from a third grade extracurricular program.   At the time she didn’t expect the assignment to be a turning point in her life, just a fun thing to do.  She planted, watered, fertilized and nurtured her cabbage, which grew to an astounding forty pounds—almost as big as she was at the time.

Knowing she had something very special on her hands, Katie thought about what she should do with the cabbage.  “My dad said not to take anything for granted and that there were lots of people without any food who had to go to soup kitchens.”  Katie barely knew what a soup kitchen was, let alone that there were any in her town.  But after she and her mom contacted several facilities, they found one that was thrilled for the donation of Katie’s cabbage.  

To Katie’s  amazement, that one cabbage fed more than 275 people in the form of cabbage soup.  She saw firsthand how many people relied on soup kitchens for what might be their only hot meal of the day, if not their only meal.  Realizing how many people she could feed with her homegrown donations, Katie began to help other kids across the country apply for grants so they could start gardens of their own, which soon began to spring up in backyards and on rooftops, in vacant lots and behind libraries. 

And that’s how Katie’s 501C3 non-profit— Katie’s Krops—was born. Today, Katie is seventeen and Katie’s Krops has more than 100 gardens growing. She and her fellow gardeners have donated thousands of pounds of fresh produce to homeless shelters and soup kitchens.

If one little girl with a big idea and a cabbage seed can do all that, imagine what YOU can do to make a difference in the world!

Applause or Tomatoes?

I recently had not one but two clients share with me their reluctance to “get out there.” That is, to show up in a bigger way in life, work, and the world.

One woman called it her “fear of success,” which, in my opinion, nobody is actually afraid of. But that’s another story. She cited her fear of success as the stumbling block that had been keeping her from ramping up the nascent photography business she’d been fooling around with for years. 

Turns out she didn’t have a fear of success at all. She had a fear of people criticizing her work.  As long as she kept her photos all to herself, she didn’t have to worry about anyone passing judgment on her talent or technical skill.  But if she took the risk of sharing her photographs with potential clients or agents, she faced possible rejection. Of course, withholding her work also meant she was destined to have a hobby instead of a career. And rob the world of her gift.

I get it. When I wrote my first book about, a parenting book about women as primary breadwinners and men as primary caregivers, I was terrified that someone I’d interviewed would swoop down and tell me I got their entire story wrong. It never happened. I did get asked by various reporters if I was a psychologist or sociologist. Nope, I told them proudly, I’m a breadwinner mom. Case closed.

If you’re more comfortable playing it safe than taking positive risks (and I’m not talking about anything Covid-related), consider the following:

Create a personal definition of success and failure . When you define success as anything that gets you closer to your soul’s mission—that is, the reason you’ve been plopped down on this planet— and failure as simply a lack of learning, other people’s criticisms won’t have nearly the sting. Assess the downside of each risk .  Think about the worst case scenario. You could get a negative reaction or review, you might fail to land an account or job, or someone might even take a personal dislike to you or your work.  So what? You’ll just end up being a little smarter for next time. Now look at the upside of the risk .  What could you gain if you take the risk of getting your work (and yourself) out there?  More clients or accounts?  A promotion or increase in revenues?  Fun and adventure?  Doesn’t the possible upside significantly outweigh the downside?

With regard to my fears about my first book, a very wise friend said to me at the time, “Wo cares? People are either going to applaud or throw tomatoes.” So far, no tomatoes. At least, no big ones.

Why Am I Always Underestimated at Work

Back pre-Covid, I was speaking at a tech company and, after my leadership talk, a young woman approached me with that question.

Why am I always underestimated?

She went on to tell me she’d graduated with honors from a top college, worked on Capitol Hill for a year, and had two years of experience with the firm. So she wasn’t a total newbie. Yet, she felt that no one took her seriously.

“Here’s the deal,” I told her. “You’re young, you’re pretty, and you’re soft-spoken. None of that has any bearing on how well you do your job. But it does have a bearing on how people perceive how well you do your job.”

“That’s not fair,” she told me and I agreed. Completely. Then I gave her three simple strategies and asked her to call me after she’d given them a road test.

1. Prep for meetings…all meetings. It may feel like overkill to plan in advance what you’re going to say in a meeting, especially since many professionals spend nearly half their work hours in meetings (see PS below). But, unless you’re there to take notes—and you should never volunteer for that activity—you’re meant to be a participant. So come ready with a meaningful comment, a useful update, or a thoughtful question. All planned ahead of time and adapted on the spot.

2. Use your voice…literally. Ramp up your vocal energy so people see that you have both the presence of mind and the executive presence to be a leader in the company. Vocal energy is the combination of volume, tone, and pace that lets people know that you’re not afraid to express an opinion. Record yourself at home until you can hear the confidence coming right through your smartphone.

3. Ask about your future. Find a good time to ask about your future prospects with the organization. You can prompt the conversation during a performance appraisal, an informal feedback session, or anytime you think your supervisor might be receptive with this simple query. Where do you see me five years from now? Five years makes it clear you’re not begging for an immediate promotion—unless it’s overdue, in which case, shorten the timeframe. You deserve to know.

The young woman called me two weeks later, thrilled that she’d tried out these new behaviors and summoned up her courage to ask her boss about her future. “Golden,” he told her. “The management team has already decided that you deserve a promotion within the next six months.” How’s that for success?

For more on meeting management, Check out my blog, Don’tcha Just Love Meetings?

Celebrating Women Entrepreneurs

I’d be willing to bet that it’s no coincidence that the first month of Q4 is also National Women’s Small Business Month. Both give me a sense of energy and drive, like that last caffeinated spurt as you sprint to the finish line of a huge project.

In celebration of women business owners everywhere (yay us!), I’d love to share a few compelling stats as well as one whopping takeaway that anyone can learn from these intrepid ladies.

The number of women-owned businesses in the U.S. has grown from 4.6% of all businesses in 1972 to 42% in 2019.Approximately 1,817 new women-owned businesses open each day (compared to just 714 in 2007).The number of women launching part-time businesses, sometimes called “Sidepreneurs,” (dontcha just love that?) has grown nearly twice as fast as the overall growth of women entrepreneurs.According to the Ninth Annual State of Women-Owned Businesses Report, businesses started by women of color grew at twice the rate of all women-owned businesses.One of the first documented female entrepreneurs in the US was Madame C.J. Walker who revolutionized the hair care industry. If you haven’t seen the Netflix movie Self Made with Octavia Spencer, it’s definitely worth checking out.

So what can we all learn from females entrepreneurs?

It may be a cliché, but I believe the big takeaway here is to bet on yourself. Listen to your inner voice whether it’s whispering or raging. Have the courage of your convictions and bring some good into the world, whether it’s in the form of feeding your family, creating new jobs, or inspiring others to follow in your footsteps. We need you now more than ever!

10 Tips to Create a “Lift As You Climb” Culture

No doubt you’ve heard the African proverb, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

Allow me to add, “And if you want to succeed, make sure others do as well.” It’s only lonely at the top if you’re up there all by yourself. And who wants that?

Instead, learn to lift as you climb by locking arms (metaphorically, at least) and taking others with you on the journey to success. If there’s one thing  we all want, it’s companions on the path to leadership!

Here are ten strategies to help you develop a lift as you climb culture at your workplace.

Paint a vivid picture of the future. Get people excited about creating a better future. When your team understands where the organization is heading and what that means to them individually, they’ll find it a lot more enticing to jump on board. Communicate the vision fully and frequently – through town hall meetings, internal newsletters, and one-on-on conversations – that everyone sees and wants in on the dream.

Share your purpose. The why behind your team, division, or organization may be obvious to you, but don’t assume everyone else gets it. Look at companies like Tom’s Shoes, with its “One for One” program where they donate a pair of shoes to a child in need with every purchase. Putting shoes on kids is a purpose that can lift anyone’s spirit.

Offer information appropriately .  Information is the organizational life-blood on which decisions are made in every company. Honor people with your trust and willingness to give them the facts. Except for confidential info that can’t be shared, pass information readily up and down the pipeline that can help others make timely decisions.

Find the formal and informal change agents. Don’t succumb to the notion that only the senior leadership team or HR can manage change. Find those influential people at all levels of the organization who others listen to, respect, and follow. Share your vision of the future –including potential pitfalls- and enlist their help in easing others through change.

Be open and transparent. Have a common language around your shared values and pre-determined standards. Don’t fall into corporate-speak or platitudes that would be better posted in the employee cafeteria or embroidered on a pillow. Instead, share real, honest, down-to-earth talk about what the company stands for and what is expected of employees.

Avoid micro-managing . Nothing makes employees lose heart like being over-managed. Hire the right people, then give them both challenge and choice. People who are charged with mastering new skills and taking ownership of projects get— and stay—engaged.

Warm up your emails. It’s not so hard to say please, thank you, and job well done. Don’t leave employees guessing, or worse, wondering what they did wrong, when they get overly curt emails or texts from you.

Embrace your frontline. Don’t forget about the people who are out front doing hard duty with customers, clients, products and more. When you flip the conventional wisdom and think about leaders as working for their followers, and not the other way around, you are lifting your frontline. Recognize them with celebrations for wins big and small.

Offer ongoing education . One of the best ways to lift others to success is to invest in their growth and development. When time and budget allow, identify staff members to send to conferences, stipulating that they share takeaways with the rest of the team upon their return. Help people chart out their career paths, offering skills training and support to get them to the next level. Lifting up your life-long learners will come back to you a thousand-fold.

Know your people. This seems obvious but, believe me, it’s not intuitive to everyone. Get to know your team not just as workers (although that’s important), but as human beings. You spend a lot of time with your co-workers so take the time to discover their passions, their kids’ names, and their hopes and dreams for the future.

5 Ways to Zap Zoom Fatigue

As we come back from the Labor Day weekend, it’s a great time to think about hanging onto that recharged, refreshed feeling. We’ve all spent so much time on video platforms, which, by now, you’ve probably realized are far more exhausting than your usual mix of calls and in-person meetings.

Whatever your platform of choice, the term Zoom Fatigue has officially entered our lexicon. Google it and you’ll see 77,600,000 entries.

And there is scientific data that shows that video-conferencing requires far greater focus as you stare at a screen, often for hours at a time. Most of us stayed locked onto the speaker’s face (often your boss) for fear of being caught multi-tasking or gazing longingly out the window. Video calls also heighten self-criticism as you view every wrinkle and frown on your own face.

Here are some ways you can zap Zoom Fatigue when you get back to the physical or virtual office. I’m using Zoom as an example, but it’s the same principle whether you’re using Teams, Webex, or BlueJeans (if you don’t know this relatively new entry to the video-conferencing space, you might want to check it out).

Don’t make Zoom your default . Remember phone calls? Emails? Text messages? They may seem a little quaint now, but they used to be our default and it’s time to reclaim them, at least some of the time. My rule of thumb is that for a brief or routine interaction, pick up the phone (no, not Facetime). Give yourself a breather from having to do your hair and put on your Zoom shirt. Yup, that’s also a thing.



Use the mute/hide camera functions. If you’re on a work call, particularly a long one, ask if it’s okay for you to turn off your audio and video unless you’re speaking. Make it clear that it’s not so you can social media surf, but so that you can take a break from the intensity of screen staring. Most bosses will understand, since they’re dealing with the same issue themselves.



Change locations. It may not seem very significant to move from your designated home office to the kitchen, den, or patio, but changing locations gives your brain a break from staring at the same image. Your teammates might find it refreshing too, since we’re living not just with our own backgrounds but subjecting others to them, too. Conversely, you may want to suggest that everyone keep their backgrounds easy-on-the-eyes neutral.



Take breaks often. Don’t forget the importance of stopping your work and taking short breaks throughout the day. Take an actual lunch break, preferably outside but definitely not in front of a screen. Try stretch breaks every hour and don’t forget those long walks listening to music or your favorite podcast.



Cut out some of your social events. I know, this one sounds counter-intuitive but hear me out. We’ve all done the Zoom happy hours and birthdays, but, by now, most of us can socialize outside at a safe distance. So put your virtual events on ice and meet a friend at the park, lakeside, or even in your own driveway. Even if we can’t hug, we can see each other in person. And that means a lot these days.

What I Learned As A Cat Food Brand Hand Model

After my early jobs as a talking Christmas tree at a local mall, a tap dancing bear at Knott’s Berry Farm amusement park and…yep…the hand model for a Fancy Feast cat food ad, I realized that that particular career path did not bode well for my future.

So with my theater arts degree firmly in hand (yeah, I know), I temped my way through multiple Hollywood studios until I landed my first “real” job as an assistant in the public relations department of a company founded by Norman Lear, the legendary writer/producer behind All in the Family, among other hit TV series.

Even though I expected to get to know everyone and everything about entertainment while working at this mid-size company, it wasn’t long before the company was purchased by Columbia Pictures…then Coca-Cola…then Sony.

I could have ducked under my desk and waited until it was safe to come out, but instead I raised my former hand model hand and volunteered for every opportunity that came my way. In those five years of mergers and restructures, I went from assistant to vice president and department head of publicity, advertising, and promotion for Sony’s Worldwide Television Group.

It was pretty darn fast. Hence, the spinning head.

While I can’t promise the same kinds of opportunities will come your way, I can promise to help you become a more visible leader so you can accelerate your career climb. Right now. Whatever your current level. Here are some first steps.

Build allies inside your company.

Schedule a meeting with one person inside your organization for coffee, breakfast, virtual get-acquainted, or whatever works once a week. Get outside your bubble and meet with people you barely know. Let them know you’re interested in them and what they do at the company. Most people will be flattered, just keep it brief and send a thank you.

Make yourself more visible within your industry .

Similar to the action item above, make it your mission to meet with people in your industry (or the industry to which you aspire) once a month. That might be a referral to meet with an executive you admire or to attend a conference where you can spend time with people with similar interests and career paths. Join an association, trade or networking group and take an active role so people can experience you in action.

Volunteer, volunteer, volunteer.

Let it be known to your boss, team, and/or colleagues that you’re always ready to pitch in, that you’re happy to research things you don’t know, and that you genuinely believe in supporting others. When people recognize you as the person with non-stop energy and a smile on your face, you’ll start to get noticed

Are You Twenty Feet from the C-Suite?

If you like movies about the music industry, you might have caught the 2014 Academy Award and Grammy winner Twenty Feet from Stardom.

The film profiled a group of incredibly talented singers including Darlene Love, Lisa Fischer, and Jo Lawry who backed up some of the most famous artists of all time. While many of the singers were thrilled to perform just twenty feet away from the headliners, others had visions of the spotlight.

How about you? Are you twenty feet from the C-Suite waiting for your big break?

After nearly twenty years as an executive coach (and a former C-Suite leader), I’ve learned a few things about what it takes to break into the top ranks. And even though we’re living in a virtual world, business goes on and people are being promoted. Might as well be you, right?

Here are some tips to help you on your upward trajectory:

Make your desire known. As my mom used to say, “If you wanna play with the big dogs, you’ve gotta get off the porch.” Don’t be afraid to make your ambitions know. You’ve got to take the risk if you want to get to the top.



Know your culture fit. If you don’t understand your culture and how you fit into it, advancing to the top ranks is a non-starter. If you’re a disruptor but your organization thrives on traditional processes and button-downed people, it might be difficult to climb the ladder. Unless, of course, your contrary perspective is exactly what the enterprise needs. Understand how your skills and style can impact the organization and thrive in its culture.



Rally support. You should always be building a network of allies, but it’s especially important when you have your eye on a C-spot. Make sure you venture out of your comfort zone and get to know—and support— people across the enterprise. My rule of thumb is to schedule a catch-up or get-acquainted with someone in your company once a week and someone in your industry once a month. And, yes, a one-on-one confab or a full-scale industry conference via Zoom works just fine.



Have patience. Opportunities get pretty slim up at the top, so timing is everything. Find out if and when your management would consider you for a C-level position. If there’s someone in the spot you want who’s early in their tenure and doing a fabulous job, recognize that while your time may come, it may not be anytime soon. Either settle in and wait your turn or set your sights elsewhere.



Bring your C-game. It’s important that you’re excelling in your current role before you announce your desire for a bigger one. You should always be developing your skills and knowledge base, as well as demonstrating your impact on the organization. Meantime, ask your higher-ups what else you need to learn, build, or achieve to prove you’re ready for the next level.

While Darlene Love will always be revered as back-up singer to the stars, she went on to release her own albums and to perform in films and on Broadway. Twenty feet from stardom and a star in her own right.

Why Create a Bucket List When You Can Build a Legacy List?

A very wise member of my Wednesday coaching group asked me what I wanted to leave as my legacy. After getting past the eerie notion that I was about to write my own obituary (a worthwhile exercise, btw), I gave the question some serious thought.

No surprise, I thought about my personal legacy first. Specifically, doing whatever I can to ensure that my family is happy and healthy. It’s also important to me that I make an impact as a mental health advocate. But when I considered my professional legacy, I was stumped.

I’ve written books, traveled the world as a speaker, coached hundreds (maybe thousands) of professionals. In fact, this November marks the twentieth anniversary of my coaching and consulting business.

I’ve done a lot. But there’s one thing left on my legacy list that I really want to tackle…

Helping 1,000 women become successful leaders.

Keep an eye on upcoming posts to learn how I plan to help at least 1,000 women over the next three years to become successful leaders. Meantime, ask yourself these questions to start building your own legacy. Why wait?

What is the most valuable gift you have to share with others? Maybe you can teach financial literacy, boost physical health and wellness, or guide people to shift to more positive mindsets. Whatever it is, start – or continue – honing your gift.

Who can your unique gift impact the most? You might be considering a career in local politics, helping business owners conquer digital marketing, or helping teachers find an easier way to plan their daily lessons. Determine the type of individual or organization where you know you can make a difference and begin making connections.

Why build a legacy list instead of a bucket list? Sure, bucket lists are fun to create and compare with others. But they tend to be experiences to enhance your life whether jumping out of an airplane (no, thanks) or traveling to every continent (yes, please). They may make you a better person and that’s okay, of course. But legacy lists can help you decide what you want to leave to the world to make other people’s lives better. And isn’t that the best thing you can do with your life?

Want to talk about how you can become a better leader?

Schedule your 15-minute Zoom session (complimentary).