Michael Thomas Ford's Blog, page 2

Burning Down the House(wives)

I am going to let you in on a little secret. Before I do, allow me to remind you that I have never claimed to be a nice person.

There are days when I really dislike other authors. Not all of them, just the ones who are getting a lot more money and attention than they deserve. You know, the ones who get six and seven figure deals based on no evidence of talent and for books that--to all outward appearances--are ridiculously useless.

Let me clarify. I don't mind authors being paid enormous sums o...

Creepy Clown Monday #16: Amusement (2008)

I want to start by apologizing.

I was duped. Well, sort of. Do you see the cover of the Amusement DVD? Do you see what's on it? That's right. A clown. Now, having seen this, wouldn't you think the movie was about a clown? Of course you would.

But it's really not. Part of it is about a clown, and admittedly that's the best part of the movie, but the movie as a whole is not about a clown. Although some people might argue that it is.

Oh, it's all very confusing.

Let me see if I can explain. First ...

Cover to Cover

I love appearing in Entertainment Weekly. I am a complete pop culture junkie, and of course EW is the bible for those of us into such things. So to be in it is enough to induce pants-wetting.

The first time I appeared in EW was in 2003's Fall TV Preview issue. Alicia Silverstone was on the cover and my novel Last Summer was reviewed. They gave it a B- and summed it up thusly:

"Though Ford's story veers toward the boilerplate, his middle-brow prose is a winner, landing somewhere between...

Creepy Clown Monday #15: Vulgar (2000)

When it comes to creepy clown movies there are two major variations on the theme: movies where the creepiness of the clowns is central to the story (and often the only point of the film) and movies that are creepy for reasons that extend beyond the clowns themselves (although the clowns might be creepy as well).

Vulgar falls into the latter category, although it could be argued that it's really somewhere in between. The clown in the film is kind of creepy, at least some of the time, and the mo...

Creepy Clown Monday #14: Blood Harvest (1987)

I think most of us have movie memories that we can pinpoint as defining moments in our lives. For instance, I will never forget being 8 years old and sitting in the theater watching Star Wars. From the moment the rebel blockade runner appeared onscreen being chased by the Imperial Star Destroyer I knew that something magical was about to happen.

And it did. Star Wars was unlike anything I'd ever seen before. It took me into another world. It made me excited about movies, and about telling stor...

Creepy Clown Monday #13: Clown Dolls in Film, Part I

Let's just get right to this. The clown doll from Poltergeist is hands-down the scariest clown doll in all of history. It caused a generation of kids to pee their pants and be forever scarred to the point where just seeing a clown doll results in hysteria.

In the event that you were raised Amish and never saw it during your rumspringa, or have suffered a blow to the head and don't remember it, let me briefly explain the plot of Poltergeist.

The Freeling family--dad Steve, mom Diane, teenage dau...

Hear! Hear!: Jane Bites Back is an Audio Book

For those of you who enjoy reading with your ears, I have a delightful announcement.

Jane Bites Back is now available as an unabridged, downloadable (don't you love new words?) audio book exclusively from audible.com. The book is narrated by Katherine Kellgren, who also did the narration for my friend Seth Grahame-Smith's Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

So hop on over to audible.com and take a listen.

On the Radio. Whoa-oh-oh-oh

So tomorrow (Tuesday, February 9) I'll be appearing on KWMR's "Lifequest." The show runs from 11:00 AM to 12:00 PM, and I'll be talking about Jane Bites Back, my writing career, and what's up next for everybody's favorite literary vampire.

Those of you in Northern California can tune in to KWMR at 90.5 FM in the Pt. Reyes area and 89.9 FM in Bolinas.

The rest of you can listen online.

You know you want to.

Creepy Clown Monday #12: Drive Thru (2007)

I know this will sound odd coming from a man who loves creepy clown movies, but in general I don't like my horror mixed with comedy. I am not generally in Sam Raimi's cheering section, for example, and find that otherwise excellent films such as Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow are lessened by effects meant to make us chuckle. (In the case of the Burton film the literally eye-popping moments are unnecessary and, for me, spoil the mood of the picture.) Freddy Kreuger scared the Jujubes out of me in ...

Creepy Clown Monday #11: 100 Tears (2007)

One time in college my friend Becky and I were in the school's computer center writing papers. (That's us on the left. It was the 80's. Don't judge.) Becky's paper was for her philosophy class and I was doing something for, I think, my Victorian Literature class. Everything was going swimmingly until Becky said--loudly--a word we weren't allowed to say per the rules of the Christian college we attended.

"What?" I asked her.

"The electronic typing box ate my paper," she said. Then she said the D...