Tamara Larson's Blog, page 5

Love Laws vs. Chemo Brain

Well, It's been awhile. I've now had my first session of chemo and it went well. I mean, I wouldn't recommend it for kicks, but it wasn't nearly as bad as expected.

The side effects have been really interesting. I haven't lost any hair yet, but I have had some full stop fatigue and some rather disturbing digestive issues. I won't get into this here, but let's just say I bought prune juice for the first time in my life.

One of the most fascinating side effects is a little thing called Chemo brain. I thought it was a myth because there really isn't any scientific proof that I can find that explains what causes it. Imagine my shock when I found myself sitting down at my computer and not being able to come up with a single original thought. I mean, seriously, nothing. I was foggy-brained and unable to even form a coherent sentence. 

Don't get me wrong. I've experienced writer's block. But if I can't figure out a plot point I'll just go write a sex scene for a while and come back to the troubled area later. 

Chemo brain is nothing like that. Creativity is way beyond me for about a week after my time in the chair. This lack of a higher functioning brain is disturbing and kind of scary. For a few days I was wondering if I was ever going to be back to normal. But last night I was able to write a few pages for the first time in weeks. Can't tell you how happy that makes me. Everything else is so out of my realm it would be devastating if I could no longer write.

So, if you're looking for The Love Laws. Be patient. I promise it's coming.

 

Progress Report

As some of you may or may not know, I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer on Dec 6, 2012. I had a bilateral mastectomy on Dec 14, 2012, which was followed by the removal of my left side lymph nodes on Jan 8, 2013.

I'm recovering now, and the prognosis looks good. The Cancer had only spread to one poor little lymph node, and all my scan have been clear. So, chemo therapy should start soon and then in a few months everything should be back to normal.

I've had the unbelievable support of my mom and many friends during this time including my very best friend, Lisa who lives far, far away but was there constantly anyway. 

What have I been doing to keep myself busy during this bizarre time? Well, writing, of course. "The Love Laws" should be published sometime in February and I hope everyone enjoys it. It's taken me forever to finish, but I'm proud of it. Jamie is another shrew, but hopefully more likeable than Serena.

 

 

Semi-retirement for VV

Unfortunately, my last two novellas by Verena Vincent haven't sold well at all, so poor VV will be going into retirement for a little while. As much as I enjoy writing them, I spend a lot of time on them and it's discouraging to see such a negative response to my work. Though I do appreciate the positive reviews and sincerely hope the few people who read the DOV Inc., books and The Vampire's Last Virgin enjoyed them, I can't rationalize focusing on them anymore. Hopefully, in another six months I will feel differently.

Releasing the Vampire!

A brief hiatus

Well, with any luck The Vampire's Last Virgin should be out later this week. After that I will be off for a while, recovering from surgery. (Have not quite decided on whether this will be a partial or full mastectomy, but we will see.) Not sure how much writing I will be doing during treatment afterward, but hopefully The Love Laws will find its way to you soon.

Anyway, I just want to take this opportunity to thank all of you for reading my books and having enough interest in my hobby to check out this site. The past year has been amazing thanks to all of you, and despite the upcoming challenges I'm going to be facing, I hope you realize how much it means to me to know that I have made an impact on your lives. Even if it was just a few hours with one of my books, I sincerely hope I brought some fun and heat into your life.

Keep reading, and please, please, please, get a mammogram. Even if it scares you. It's worth it to catch this stupid disease in its early stages, and save your friends and family the indignity of going through this.

Be strong and keep smiling.

TVL

Can a romance deal with the Big Ca and still be fun and sexy?

Okay. I've recently had to deal with some health issues and it hasn't exactly been motivating my writing. Some people can write under duress, but I'm not one of them. And really nothing is less sexy than having your breasts mangled in a vice by a matronly woman in kitten scrubs!! The subsequent ultrasound and TWO biopsies haven't supercharged my ability to write steamy sex scenes either.

Going through this has made me think about using this experience in a future book though. The problem is that I don't know if it's possible to write about mammograms and hospitals without killing the humor, romance and erotic elements I like my books to contain. The word, "cancer" is almost like kryptonite to the human libido, after all. Nothing causes a pussy to pucker or an erection to wilt faster, except maybe the word "grandma." 

Now, the question is, if a woman had to go through reconstructive breast surgery after having a large benign mass removed, would that be too depressing? Think about it. Ponder it. What if she had to be convinced she was still sexy after such a procedure? Too much of a downer?

I'm not sure, but I think it may have potential. I may start on something along this theme after finishing The Vampire's Last Virgin, The Love Laws, and the sequel to Hot Property, of course. But I really hope I can do this subject justice. What I mean by that, is writing about it in a way that takes some of the fear out of Breast Ca but doesn't make light of it. We'll see.

 

Why don't you write something like "Shades of Grey"?

Being an erotic romance writer is kind of my secret identity. I don't hide it exactly, but I don't advertise it either. So when someone does find out about my hobby, they're usually very supportive and interested. Which usually means a lot of uncomfortable questions about how I get my inspiration. 

One topic that I've noticed coming up a lot lately, is "Shades of Grey." Now, I know a lot of people are down on these books for various reasons, but I enjoyed them very much. I found the whole Inner Goddess and Subconscious manifestations in the heroine's inner dialogue completely annoying, but other than that I found myself invested in the characters. 

Okay, mostly I found Christian Gray incredibly hot and that's why I kept reading. I could completely ignore the fact that he was a damaged and self-absorbed egomaniacal control freak because he was just so compelling. (And smoking hot!)

So why don't I write something like "Shades of Grey"? Well, because I don't think I could. I have a fairly active imagination, but I don't think I could write convincingly about a man dominating a woman with any conviction. I mean, it was sexy in the book, I suppose, but there were instances where CG's behavior was genuinely abusive. Even if his submissive was willing, to me this relationship still stings of female suppression.  

Okay, I know it's purely for entertainment and I need to relax, but I'm not sure how comfortable I would be perpetuating the idea that it's okay to allow a man to beat you as long as he's rich, handsome, well-endowed and emotionally damaged.

And the truly disturbing idea to me is that many authors are writing BDSM-themed books now, in an effort to capture some of the Shades of Grey popularity. It's almost like pain is the new sexy. 

I know, I know. I'm a complete hypocrite because in some of my Verena Vincent works I do use riding crops and handcuffs as props. Hell, my hero in my current vampire novella spends 90% of the book shackled to a wall. To me, these things can be sexy if used with the proper playful attitude and enthusiasm by both fictional partners. 

The difference is that the heroine in Shades of Grey is clearly sacrificing her own needs for the man she loves. Eventually she comes to enjoy CG's more extreme sexual demands, but it's not her preference. She's allowing herself to be used. And this, to me, isn't acceptable. Ever. 

The popularity of these books has made it part of our culture. And whether we like it or not, our behavior is influenced by what our culture accepts. Men are not oblivious to these books. They read them and think perhaps this is what women want. I mean, why would we be so addicted to "mommy porn" unless we want to be dominated by Christian Grey. The difference between fantasy and reality has been lost when these books are used as a relationship manual.

So, why don't I write a Shades of Grey? Well, because I don't have it in me. Not only do I not have the stomach to explore the world of Doms and Subs, which are WAY more complicated than depicted in the books.  I also have mixed feelings about creating even a fictional world where men are allowed to be abusive, in or out of the red room.

 

Serena the Shrew?

Well, yes, I do read my reviews on Amazon. And I've noticed some pretty enthusiastic dislike for Serena, the heroine of "Hot Property." They may have a point. The truth is, that when I was writing her I wasn't quite sure how readers would react. I can actually remember talking to my running partner, Beth, about how I'm pretty sure very few people would find her endearing.

As much as I like to give readers what they want, it does get boring writing the same character over and over. I, personally, find that the female characters in romance novels are a bit too nice to be believable. Don't they ever have a bad day? Make mistakes? Have PMS? Apparently not. Their sexy male counterparts are allowed to be incredible jerks, but we want our heroines to be consistently like our best girlfriend, but spunky and ambitious, of course.

I wanted Serena to be real and flawed. In "Open House" the prequel to "Hot Property", she's in control. She's sellling houses like mad and her life is on track. When we see her again, things have taken a downward spiral. Now she's a workaholic who's struggling in the very unpredictable real estate market. She feels like a failure in all areas of her life. As a result, she is not in a good mood. Throw in some sexual frustration and a stalker and it's pretty easy to see why she's a little bitchy. But the fact is, most of "Hot Property" happened in one of the worst days of this character's life. I wonder how any of us would come across on a similar day? 

And for those readers who disliked her so strongly, I want to thank you for taking the time to write a review anyway. Even though you didn't enjoy the character, I'm thrilled that you felt strongly enough to constructively comment on the book. Your feedback is invaluable. 

 

Halloween is coming way too fast!

It was my intention to release The Vampire's Last Virgin just in time for Halloween, but I'm not happy with the ending, so it's going to be a little late. I'm quite into Halloween, so if VLV does well, I may write a paranormal erotic romance novella every Fall. A vampire this year, a sexy werewolf the year after. Maybe an Opera Ghost with a permanent erection the year after that. You never know.

But in the meantime, I was going to release just the first chapter of VLV on Amazon for free today, but thought it might just confuse people. So, I will be putting it here later this week. Please feel free to let me know if you like it. 

The cover for the much-delayed Love Laws will also be posted. 

Thanks again for reading.

Feel very lucky to be part of your day in some small way.

 

The Love Laws - Still coming soon... I hope.

The Love Laws, the long awaited sequel to Lost & Found is not going well. It's grown into a monster that I can't seem to control. Too many characters. Too many plot points. I'm overwhelmed by the size of it. (Very much like one of my heroines when first encountering the hero's giant erections)

I write slightly more erotic ebooks under another name (Verena Vincent) Not sure why because the last one didn't sell at all, but I enjoy writing them and there is something appealing about giving even a few readers something short, sexy and fun. 

Anyway, I've been sidetracked again, so The Love Laws is on the back burner once again. This time by a paranormal erotic novella, which I've never written before but was inevitable. You see, the truth is that I've always been fascinated with vampires. (Huge Buffy fan, especially Spike. Love a bad, bad, fanged boy!) I've thought about writing about vamps for a very long time, but the market has become so inundated with them I really didn't see how I could bring anything new to the genre.

So, I decided to embrace the cliches and just go for it. The result is going pretty well and should be out soon. It's called, The Vampire's Last Virgin. It features a very sexy vamp, suffering from depression, and a feisty, misguided virgin. And a sex dungeon. Oh, yeah, and Dracula's lunatic gay brother. Sound good? I hope so. Keep an eye out for it this November. (2012)