Mark McIntosh's Blog, page 35

This week's Pep Talk: "Dare to Dream"

Whenever blessed to present a Pep Talk to others we always discuss the importance of putting fear aside and allowing wonderment to win in trying like heck to play like a champion - home, work and elsewhere.

It's just my belief that ability - wonderment prevailing against fear - is a critical foundational element to success in life. Our journey rarely goes as planned; we get knocked down; the path takes a detour of a mental, physical or financial aspect and we're challenged to keep moving forward limited only by imagination, not fear, in creating productive choices to the challenges we face.

Perhaps, in short, what I'm trying to say is this: we gotta, despite life's challenges, always dare to dream. For many years I have had a dream. With one particular buddy its been prayed about endlessly. With great joy I inform you, God answers prayers.

First, some background. Ever since beginning to speak professionally about turning life's lemons - heck with lemonade - into sweet and savory margaritas, upon concluding the message, often someone would approach me and suggest, "Mac, you outta be a preacher!" I must admit to being inspired by the wonderful men and women who have made that suggestion but usually quickly dismissed the thought for two reasons: I can't afford to go back to school at my age with two deserved children needing my emotional, physical and financial support and honestly, the idea of having to constantly work weekends was not appealing.

So the dream had been kept alive mainly by prayer until another buddy recently suggested, "Mac, it's time for some faith-based sports talk in this town." Well, that thought - thanks to many but especially LeRoy, Scotty and Beth - began a domino-type reaction leading to this: Pep Talk with Mark McIntosh: A Daily Dose of Faith, Life and Sports."

Each weekday afternoon at 4:30PM MST, for 15 minutes on KLTT Radio, www.670kltt.com, I will be blessed to host a show encouraging listeners to play like champions in ways that honor a higher power of goodwill - for me that's God - nurture those dependent upon us and add value to the communities we serve.

There will be interviews with remarkable athletes, coaches and other sports personalities. They will share their faith, life and sports. We hope the conversations inspire you and others. Listeners will also be encouraged to unite with others, talk about faith and then put that faith into healthy and productive action.

A non-profit organization, The FLS (Faith, Life & Sports) Foundation will be the cornerstone of this ministry. Information on how to support our mission will be announced shortly.

There you have it. God answers prayers. Dreams do come true. Don't give up on yours because, when you least expect, they just might manifest into reality - dare to dream.

This week's Pep Talk: "Exalt A Man"

Billy Joel is on the piano, and Ipod, as I settle in for this Pep Talk about the journey we call life. Ironically, the idea, exalt a man, crashes into my cranium on Mother's Day. But that seems to make sense considering who appeared.

My thoughts are interrupted. 21-year-old son, aspiring television producer, informs: "Dad, hey, gonna have to bag the food idea. I'll eat at the airport." We agree that's cool and then off the strapping young man went, back to work reading scripts. He had been in Denver for a quick and fun visit that included darling girlfriend's special birthday bash and time with neighbors who are like family. Good stuff.

He seemed happy as he bounded back up the stairs. For that I am grateful. Life ain't always that way – happy - and to reside on that side of the tracks ain't bad. I'm just a simple dude from Missouri but it sure makes sense to me. I think most people would choose happy, right? Well, my son looked happy as he went back to his business and me to mine – you and Billy. By the way, She's Got A Way just finished. My son. I love him dearly and dang, as a parent, can you ask for anything more in life than realizing, in healthy and productive ways, your kids are happy? Wow, sign me up for a lifetime membership.

Timothy Barton deserves a lot of credit for the young man my son is becoming. My brother from another mother is my first former wife's third husband. For those scoring at home, I am the leadoff hitter. When Kyle headed west from Denver to California, my "love at first sight" buddy stepped up big time. I felt like I had a brother taking a lead role in teaching my son to be a man. He's one of those "fox-hole" kinda guys mentor Bill McCartney and I love to talk about each week – rock solid in all areas.

All kidding aside, my son now lives on his own while chasing dreams in Los Angeles, but Timothy and I stay in touch. He was the man on the ground during my son's successful journey through middle and high school. We talked a lot back in those days. I love him like a brother.

It's time to shut this down. Billy is really getting after it in The Ballad of Billy the Kid and tears are strolling down my cheek. On, Mother's Day 2011, my cranium wanders to a Malibu motor-head, bull-in-china-closet basketball dude, Timothy. Man, when the mother of my son – okay, here's the Mother's Day connection – ends up married to a dude who is a fox-hole kinda guy? – yeah me.

So really this becomes, thanks Jean, for finding Timothy. My son is better because of him. I am too. I have just exalted a man. Try it this week. Home, work or elsewhere, exalt someone deserved of praise. I know it will encourage them and, trust me, make your marrow warm too.

This week's Pep Talk: "Commencement Exercises"

This time of year parents, grandparents or those closely connected with high school or college students attend graduation ceremonies and parties. It's a festive moment in life designed to celebrate the student's achievement of a worthy goal.

I have always found it somewhat interesting that even before accepting the well-earned diploma, deserved students and their guests experience "commencement exercises." The studies are complete, the hard work rewarded, yet before receiving the "sheep skin" - are diplomas really made of sheep skin? - there is commencement, defined as "a beginning."

Commencement speakers encourage the gathered to courageously venture beyond present boundaries limited only by imagination, not fear, in leaving a healthy and productive mark on our world – home, work and elsewhere.

The ink isn't even dry on the diploma and students are being called to commence, to begin, another. It's what life is all about, right? Aren't we all, constantly called to "commence" a new journey? Quite often, unlike the joy and optimism abounding from a person's graduation from high school or college, we are called to commence despite dark and foreboding moments: death of a loved one, divorce, illness, job loss, to name just a few. Whether we like it or not, life, and its unexpected and unwanted twists and turns, is constantly calling us to journey toward a new frontier.

It makes me think of Thelissa Zollinger. For the second straight year, I had the joy of hosting her creation, The Gift of Life and Breath 5K. A record crowd of more than 1,000 gathered on the University of Colorado/Anschutz Medical Campus grounds for the run/walk dedicated to raising money to fund research for a reliable early-detection test for lung cancer. As we stood on a raised platform preparing to start the race, the mother of six and grandmother of even more, looked down on this adoring crowd and proclaimed, "It's because of great folks like you that we have hope!"

Four years ago, Thelissa was challenged to commence a new journey after husband Gary lost a battle with lung cancer. She has made it a life mission to discover a reliable early detection test for lung cancer. We're getting close! This amazing woman is transforming her pain into promise for others. What about us? We too are frequently demanded to begin a new chapter, we are called despite the injustices life tosses our way, to begin anew. The question becomes, what will our commencement exercises look like?

Let's encourage one another to be students, not victims of experiences; to realize we're not alone in our struggles; to understand the importance of connecting with others who share similar challenges and finally, to encourage one another to move forward in ways honoring, nurturing and adding value to the communities we serve.

Those commencement exercises, at any time of life, give us a chance to graduate at the top of our class.

This week's Pep Talk: "Others Before Self"

The glasses were raised in tribute to a special person. The quartet's youngest spoke first as the fourteen-year-old volleyball standout proclaimed: "Grandpa was such a good guy. He always made you feel so special." The oldest member of the group dining at Elway's/Cherry Creek on a Saturday night couldn't hold back the tears in saluting a man and father, who died of lung cancer May 12, 2007.

As my daughter continued to speak of her Grandpa to the attentive crowd that included darling girlfriend and a dear family friend - I was the thorn among three roses - my mind wandered to Marvin Walter McIntosh Jr.'s final hours on this planet.

Those hours were spent in loving care at a Kansas City, Missouri hospice facility. The McIntosh children – four of us - had been summoned once it was apparent the end was near. I rushed to catch a plane from Denver to my hometown and arrived a tad later than desired: The 76-year-old gem of a guy had already slipped into unconsciousness. We had spoken many times on the phone in the days leading up to this moment so it wasn't like there was anything left to be said. We were good to go as he prepared for what lies beyond physically failing to proceed. For the former sales executive, I would suspect it involves much golf on heaven's finest courses - he's deserved for sure.

It was then my turn to salute the mentor who played a huge role in teaching me to face adversity head on and never give up; the guy who, because of the example he showed in overcoming great obstacles throughout life, showed me the way to turn life's lemons - the heck with lemonade - into sweet and savory margaritas. He was an excellent mentor.

With tears streaming down my cheeks, I offered as a toast: "I'll never forget, in those final hours, how Dad refused to die on May 11. There was no way he was going to pass on Matt's - my younger brother - birthday."

It has always stuck with me since that moment four years ago. We all were with him for those final hours, singing songs to him and embracing his barely responsive body. We knew life was fading fast but, in his final act before departing, a father once again demonstrated, as he did many times, to his children the value of thinking of others before self.

There's no way, obviously, to confirm this observation, but I believe it's the truth. It's just the way he lived his life, thinking of others first. A father, mentor and friend, four years departed yet forever alive in spirit. He showed, until his final breath, the importance of others before self. I hope it makes him smile to know a son is trying like heck to emulate, and encouraging others to do the same, his example - home, work and elsewhere.

This week's Pep Talk: "Make Mom Smile"

I have always marveled at life growing inside a woman. The expanding belly, the late-stage waddle, the pain, then boom! – a child is born. I can only imagine what it must be like. April 13, 1958, December 23, 1989 and January 19, 1997. The months, days and years when I was present to witness mom, former wife #1 and former wife #2 give birth to your humble correspondent, a son and daughter respectively. Thank you, to each, for giving me life and lives I would sacrifice mine for.

America began officially celebrating Mother's Day about a century ago. However, the call to recognize women began much earlier. Many credit Julie Ward Howe, writer of The Battle Hymn of the Republic, with planting the seeds. In 1870, dismayed by the carnage of our country's Civil War, the New York City native wrote the Mother's Day Proclamation. She was a trumpeter sounding a clear call for women to realize their potential to shape society at the political level.

A woman taking charge when somebody needs to step up and say, "What the heck is going on here?" Moms, you're really good at that, bless you! It makes me think of Thelissa Zollinger. The mother of six was rocked to the core in 2004 when husband Gary was diagnosed, despite never smoking, with stage-four lung cancer. The energy executive courageously battled for life, enduring standard treatments and an experimental double-lung transplant procedure. It was a brave but, tragically, futile fight that ended in 2007.

Half a dozen beautiful children no longer had the physical presence of their father. It inspired a mother to tap into unimagined skills, talents and strengths to raise money for research to develop a reliable, early detection test for lung cancer. Luckily, we have early detection tests for breast, colon and prostate cancers, but not lung. This, despite, at least in Colorado, many more people die annually from lung cancer than the others.

Each year Thelissa, in conjunction with the AMC Cancer Fund, hosts The Gift of Life and Breath, http://www.thegiftoflifeandbreath.com. It's a commemorative moment happening again this year May 21st. We are going to run, walk and raise money. Thelissa is determined not to allow Gary's death to be in vain. "We're making progress," the vibrant grandmother of seven announced recently. "Last year's event raised enough money to fund a year of lab research, we're getting closer!" From across the conference room table the darling woman's blazing eyes permeated my soul as she proclaimed, "I have hope."

Hope is a good thing to possess, right? Defined as "expectation or desire for certain events to happen", hope, like time in a mother's womb, fuels our existence. As we celebrate those who gave us life, or nurtured it along the way, perhaps the greatest gift is not flowers, chocolate, jewelry or gift certificates. Perhaps the greatest gift we could offer is, despite the challenges present, a promise: we'll never lose expectation or desire to live in ways that honor, nurture and add value to self, others and communities we serve.

I would suspect that would make most moms smile on their special day.

This week's Pep Talk: "Our Positive Energy"

First, I want to apologize, it's just the way my brain processes stuff. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

It's a Wednesday evening in the Mile High City. Nuggets and Thunder from OKC in game five of their first-round NBA playoff series. It's a big game and a buddy is down for a beer and talk turns to discussion earlier in the day on the sports talk show, "Drive Time with Mac and Doog", I co-host with Jimmy Doogan: "Why is it so damned tough – in fact it's never happened – for professional basketball teams to rally from a 3-0 deficit to win a series when it's happened in baseball and hockey – two other sports with similar seven-game series' opportunities?"

Two responses from our great callers really stood out: a baseball pitcher or hockey goalie can dominate a final game while, in basketball, it's more team-oriented. One guy, like Michael Jordan's 63-point effort in 1993, can score a ton of points but, considering a winning score is usually around 100, many others must contribute to succeed.

I also believe – as do others – that home-court advantage is also a very powerful and dominate factor in winning the finale. A great example came in the first half's final seconds of Denver and Oklahoma City: The Thunder had a chance, with a score, to take a lead into halftime. The Nuggets dug in and were playing solid team defense, the seconds vanished from the clock and the crowd rose to its feet to cheer on the hometown boys. This was a big moment and the crowd – considered one of the NBA'S best – was encouraging the home team.

Encouragement, defined as, "to give hope and confidence to", is a good thing to possess always, but real nice to possess when it's time to shine – home, work or elsewhere. You know, shine in a way that honors us, nurtures those dependent upon us and adds value to the communities we serve?

When we're being encouraged to accomplish that, whether on the basketball floor, school, home, work or community, it just makes sense to try like heck to make it happen. I'm just a simple dude from Missouri but it makes sense, right?

The hometown crowd and its energy poured toward recipients – in this case basketball players – can be a very powerful gravitational force. The question becomes, is the energy healthy and productive? Which takes me to parents. We're the hometown crowd and our energy will greatly impact the future success of our most valuable players – our kids.

My wish is that OUR positive energy will inspire children, ours and others, to succeed like the Thunder' home-town crowd was encouraging – hope and confidence – its beloved to defeat a gutty Nuggets' team. Our positive energy can contribute to amazing things being accomplished. While there are no guarantees, I would offer, rarely has anything worthwhile been achieved without it.

This week's Pep Talk: "Show Them"

It was a Sunday to cherish: daughter played well and contributed substantially to a winning team effort as Juggernaut closes its season; the Rockies rally to win and take three of four, on the road, from Pittsburgh; The Masters has one of its most incredible finishes ever and I'm having a beer with my neighbor watching Ireland's Rory McIlroy walk off the 18th green at Augusta National. I think of my son, Kyle.

Kyle and McIlroy, who led for 63 holes before crumbling late at the season's first major golf tournament, are the same age. Each just 21 years old, kids.

I'm watching this disappointed Northern Ireland native walk off the final hole at the 2011 Masters and thinking, "I just want to hug that young man." For whatever reason, watching the one-time PGA winner depart after leading, then decomposing, made me think of his parents and their feelings observing their son chasing dreams, and coming so close, but falling short. It had to have been a heartbreaking experience.

Once the dust settles and the pain subsides from disappointment – others or ours – is an opportunity to objectively look at what transpired – call it a moment of transformation. What becomes the great question in life is whether we will choose to become a student of the experience or victim of the circumstance. Will we grow, or shrink, from it? Our choice, choose wisely, right?

We all have those moments of regret along this journey we call life, right? We have those moments – like McIroy blowing a four-shot lead – where we wonder, "What the heck's going on around here?" The question becomes, what to do about it?

In watching a young man suffer through a terrible final round and realizing "he's the same age as my wonderful son" I sat there thinking about the first thing I'd want to do. What would, as a father, I do as my flesh and blood dejectedly departed golf's biggest stage? I thought a warm embrace would be in order, probably with tears rolling down my cheeks, while proclaiming: "I'm so proud of you!"

But then here's where it gets kinda tricky. The second-most important thing I could do after embracing him – same for a daughter too – would be, down the road a bit, in an encouraging way, ask, "How can we learn, not suffer, from this?"

Is there a greater psychological gift, demonstrating the value of becoming students, not victims, of experiences, we could give our children or others – home, work and elsewhere? The big challenge is – my opinion - all the money in the world can't ensure learning, not suffering, from our experiences. We can't buy it for our loved ones. We, hey I'm from Missouri, gotta show them.

This week's Pep Talk: "Kids at Heart"

It was a beautiful, lazy and peaceful Sunday in the Mile High City. My NCAA tournament bracket was in shambles, Billy Joel was singing and I'm writing. My thoughts wander to a buddy. He had been real helpful at a recent fundraising event for Families of SMA, www.fsma.org. I was the emcee and Connor, 11-years mature, was outstanding assistant. He knew the facts, scoured the crowd for bidders during the live auction and just shined in my eyes. The fifth-grader's also a darn good student and athlete.

Connor and I had never met before The Evening of Hope gala to help fight spinal muscular atrophy. But we were connected. We were one heartbeat thanks to a red JOCK wristband. Connor's mother Joy, event organizer, had given it to him after I had offered it to her on the day we met to discuss my role. Handed the wristband, the proud mother grinned and proclaimed: "Connor will love this!" I hope you do too. I hope you love what JOCK stands for. Because, whether there's an athletic bone in your body or not, there's potential for a JOCK within each of us.

Let's be joyful for blessings. I know, it's tough; life pokes us in the eye – physically, emotionally and financially. What are we going to do about it? Choose to be joyful – despite the adversity – for blessings: a supportive team, income security, good health or something else. Be Joyful for them.

Next, let's be optimistic about the future. Again, easy to suggest but challenging considering life's roller coaster ride, right? Those moments of, "What the heck is going on here?" The families gathered for FMSA Rocky Mountain's 10th fundraiser to battle, in spinal muscular atrophy, a terrible foe could vouch for that. It's hard but necessary to be Optimistic about the future.

Also, courageously eliminate any self-destructive behavior preventing us from expressing ourselves in healthy and productive ways. What are we putting into our bodies? Our minds? Who are we hanging out with? Are they raising us up, or dragging us down? Whatever it is, Courageously eliminate it.

Late in the event, Connor and I are sharing the microphone as this fine young man told the gathered throng his JOCK bracelet - he was wearing it - stood for, "joyful, optimistic and courageous." Then I asked, "Connor, if you're joyful for the blessings of life, optimistic about the future and courageous despite the past, what's the 'K'?" Without missing a beat, my buddy, proclaimed, "You're gonna kick butt!" You go boy.

Being joyful, optimistic and courageous – just my opinion – are three valuable talents to posses for this condition we call life. Connor knows that at eleven years of age. My prayer is he never - despite the stuff – forgets those truths. You too. We're all kids at heart, right?

This week's Pep Talk: "Our Highest Calling"

Have you ever had one of those moments, when meeting somebody, where you have an instant connection proclaiming, "I wanna play on your team?" Sure you have. I think it happens a lot in life.

I had one of those recently while enjoying a delightful lunch with Christy Cassidy, founder and executive director of Widow's Walk. This organization partners with women in the creation of a "new normalcy" after the death of their spouse, faithfully dependent upon God, surrounded by a loving community and embracing life with hope, promise and vitality.

The mother of five created Widow's Walk in 2009, nine years after life changed forever following her husband's suicide. "I know from my own experience the challenges widow's must confront with the unexpected loss of a spouse. Widow's Walk is there to 'stand in the gap' for women searching for emotional, financial and spiritual support."
As she shared her story, the phrase "stand in the gap" kept resonating within my soul. It made me think of the Greek word "Stekos" which, literally, means, "to stand in the gap."

I had come across the word last fall when giving a Pep Talk to a high school football team. "Stekos" had been the motto of the Mountain Vista Golden Eagles during the 2010 football season. It was emblazoned wherever you looked and confirmed the wisdom of supporting one another.

Centuries ago, when folks lived together in walled communities, there were soldiers assigned to, when the community came under attack, "stand in the gap" of any holes blown in the fortresses' walls. It was a task requiring courage, skill and commitment.

There are times in our lives when we are called to "stand in the gap" – home, work, and elsewhere. Those moments challenge us to walk the talk of never grow weary of doing good for others. It's easy to say and affirm, but much more difficult to execute, right?

Cassidy found strength, despite the pain of losing a spouse, to start Widow's Walk and "stand in the gap" for others. Where might it be time in our lives to do the same? Where might it be time to step forward with compassion and hold firm in support of another?

Illness, job loss, death and many other "what the heck is going on here" calamities blow holes in our lives and the lives of cherished loved ones. The question becomes, "What are we going to do about it?"

Let's embrace "Stekos." Let's vow to stand in the gap for one another. Time marches on, unexpected and unwanted occurrences appear and through it all, one thing has never changed: the importance of caring for one another. It's our highest calling.

This week's Pep Talk: "Continue Steadfastly"

In the pre-dawn darkness of a chilly Colorado spring morning, I approached the gym door and heard music, reggae. It meant a special man was present. I saw him immediately, cherished a warm embrace and whispered, "How ya doing?" His response, as we continued the hug, was sobering: "I'm on the final journey."

The embrace ended and I headed to another portion of Kinetics Fitness Studio – best gym in America, not for its spa, but its spirit. While working out I noticed my mentor pushing his cancer-ravaged body through its own paces. He has battled a rare form of cancer for as long as I've known him, more than seven years.

Tragically, the heavy doses of chemo, meant to keep him alive and cancer at bay, have begun to destroy organs. The clock is ticking. He knows it, everybody around the gym knows it and still he exercises as soothing reggae music plays in the background. The Texas native is usually the first to the gym – even before employees arrive at 5:30am – has his own key and preference for music, reggae.

While rowing, I watched him challenging his body, mind and spirit and noticed my pace had quickened considerably. The former medical industry worker is inspiring: he's rowed more than 34-million meters – that's a ton! – is the gym's official rowing coach, a constant source of encouragement and owns a million-dollar smile. I can remember long ago when told of his cancer. With a big grin, he said, "I have cancer, but cancer doesn't have me."

Well, it does now. Life takes us on unexpected, and unwanted, twists and turns. Illnesses strike, relationships dissolve, careers terminate and we're left wondering, "What the heck is going on around here?" It's called life and sometimes it sucks. Things cherished, like life itself, are threatened. Rarely do we have the joy of dictating the outcome.

The 62-year-old was still working out upon my departure. I walked into the prevailing dawn drenched in sweat and admiration for Nelson Boyd. Physical time – he admits, "the robe is about to drop" – with loving wife, daughter and devoted gym family is short, but he'll flourish forever in spirit. There's a banner in Kinetics proclaiming, the "Boyd Row House."

Boyd's a reminder to never quit, especially on our selves. Many things are beyond our control, but we do possess something no one, or nothing, can take from us, we surrender it: perseverance. Defined as, "to continue steadfastly, especially in something difficult or tedious."

A beloved man continues steadfastly. It's a great example to face challenges – home, work and elsewhere - with similar perseverance. It's difficult and tedious for sure, but worth the effort considering the honorable impact delivered upon others wherever we roam - or row.