Mark McIntosh's Blog, page 33
October 23, 2011
This week's Pep Talk: "Respect"
A recent errand took me into the neighborhood grocery store just a short walk - two blocks - from my Congress Park home on Denver's near east side. One of the owners and I share a passion for golf and there's also a U.S. Postal Service office within his store. We chatted for a bit, "business is slow" he admitted - bless small business owners fighting to survive! - before I headed toward the back of the store to grab a spot in line to mail documents to the mortgage company. I had to ensure it repairs were made to my humble abode's roof following a Colorado summer hail storm. Hail is about the only thing that can screw up Centennial State summers, right?
I was second in line behind a gentleman who was, I was within earshot of his conversation with the clerk, mailing a rather large box to a adult daughter living in North Dakota. While the clerk worked diligently wrapping the parcel, the elderly man and I began to chat. I asked him how many children he had, "I have three grown daughters." He asked me the same and I offered, "Two wonderful kids; a 22-year-old son and 14-year-old daughter." Then, I couldn't resist considering I'm a resident of that crazy hotel fathers dwell in while raising teenage daughters - I've never been a girl and know what boys are like at that age, asked, "Any advice on raising daughters?"
A sly smile broke quickly across his content and weathered face. "I had it easier in my day," he offered. "Kids today with the Internet - he now has teenage granddaughters - have so many temptations far beyond our control." Amen brother.
Our conversation shifted to marriage and this easy-going man, with another grin on his face, informed me of 54 years of matrimony. As a twice-divorced veteran of the marriage game I have always admired others who make marriage work and queried, "What's the key to being married that long and be happy?" He must get asked that question often because there was no hesitation, "We respect each other and don't get on each other's nerves."
Amen again brother. The delightful conversation included a few good chuckles and some sports talk but was over in a few minutes. A short while later, after completing my transaction, while walking back toward home thoughts about respect crashed into cranium. I have always been fascinated with that word, defined as "a feeling of deep admiration for someone, or something, elicited by their abilities, qualities or achievements."
I think we all have folks we respect, right? Family, friends, co-workers and others we deeply admire? Suddenly I remembered an acronym for "respect" that a few years ago bounced from my brain. Here it is: Reasonable Expectations Spark Productive Encounters Creating Tranquility.
Where this week could we exercise, toward others and self, "reasonable expectations sparking productive encounters creating tranquility?" Could it be what the doctored ordered as a prescription for solving challenging situations before us - home, work and elsewhere?
Operating from a foundation of respect apparently has worked well for an engaging man at the post office happily married for more than half a century, right? I'm just a simple dude from Missouri, but it seems respect based upon reasonable expectations can work for us too, wherever we roam. Good luck!
I was second in line behind a gentleman who was, I was within earshot of his conversation with the clerk, mailing a rather large box to a adult daughter living in North Dakota. While the clerk worked diligently wrapping the parcel, the elderly man and I began to chat. I asked him how many children he had, "I have three grown daughters." He asked me the same and I offered, "Two wonderful kids; a 22-year-old son and 14-year-old daughter." Then, I couldn't resist considering I'm a resident of that crazy hotel fathers dwell in while raising teenage daughters - I've never been a girl and know what boys are like at that age, asked, "Any advice on raising daughters?"
A sly smile broke quickly across his content and weathered face. "I had it easier in my day," he offered. "Kids today with the Internet - he now has teenage granddaughters - have so many temptations far beyond our control." Amen brother.
Our conversation shifted to marriage and this easy-going man, with another grin on his face, informed me of 54 years of matrimony. As a twice-divorced veteran of the marriage game I have always admired others who make marriage work and queried, "What's the key to being married that long and be happy?" He must get asked that question often because there was no hesitation, "We respect each other and don't get on each other's nerves."
Amen again brother. The delightful conversation included a few good chuckles and some sports talk but was over in a few minutes. A short while later, after completing my transaction, while walking back toward home thoughts about respect crashed into cranium. I have always been fascinated with that word, defined as "a feeling of deep admiration for someone, or something, elicited by their abilities, qualities or achievements."
I think we all have folks we respect, right? Family, friends, co-workers and others we deeply admire? Suddenly I remembered an acronym for "respect" that a few years ago bounced from my brain. Here it is: Reasonable Expectations Spark Productive Encounters Creating Tranquility.
Where this week could we exercise, toward others and self, "reasonable expectations sparking productive encounters creating tranquility?" Could it be what the doctored ordered as a prescription for solving challenging situations before us - home, work and elsewhere?
Operating from a foundation of respect apparently has worked well for an engaging man at the post office happily married for more than half a century, right? I'm just a simple dude from Missouri, but it seems respect based upon reasonable expectations can work for us too, wherever we roam. Good luck!
October 16, 2011
This week's Pep Talk: "Unwavering Support"
The lighting for writing on the porch was not ideal but the moment was when the following crashes into cranium: the importance of unwavering support.
The thought blasted through whatever brain matter remains after tugging on my McIntosh Open Golf Tournament cap. That act brings forth the spirit of a wonderful father. Taking the cap off for a second to throw on a Louisiana College comfy shirt brings forth the spirit of a wonderful mentor. I then march to a favored spot to share some thoughts: a converted kids' playhouse where when this musing - call it a Pep Talk - emerges from yours truly and he remembers to realize this is special ground: be careful to honor that when trying to inspire others to play like champions wherever they roam.
Father and coach who gave, and with Vance still give, me unwavering support; son and daughter who until my final breath, will have mine. It's a beautiful Centennial State day, trees beautifully turning gold, brown, burgundy and other wonderful colors in the Mile High City's Congress Park neighborhood. I'm sitting here sharing the idea of the importance of unwavering support. Thanks for caring.
I'm thinking of the music playing behind me. Old time greats, ironically, and I promise this is the truth, Percy Sledge's 1966 mega-hit "When a Man Loves a Woman" booms through the box and it takes me to darling girlfriend. That's my love song to Kathy Gans. Now and forever.
Anyway, back to the point, of unwavering support. This wonderful collection of enjoyable songs arrived in my life thanks to a buddy at the gym. He's been challenged of late. I have been subbing for the delightful CSU Rams' fan as instructor of an old-farts spin class. He gave me the cd long ago but now I get to play it during the Monday morning class. I get to honor his spirit. We talked the other day and I hope he believes my support is unwavering - bless ya buddy.
The cranium is tracking other recent examples of unwavering support in action. Dink! It makes me think of Thursday night's in Boulder, Colorado. There, thanks to friends like Pasta Jay's, Gebhardt BMW and others, coach Bill McCartney, I help a bit, leads a huddle of CU football fanatics unwavering support of beloved son Jon Embree's attempt to restore pride and tradition at the University of Colorado - it's been absent for a bit. This group of fun and committed folks meets once a week during the football season believing its unwavering support will make a difference. Hey, why not try?
There's a chill in the air so I went inside as the music moved to Neal Diamonds' 1966 debut single "Solitary Man." Off the hook of "favored weekend pullovers" emerges one from buddy John Wristen. He's the head football coach at undefeated CSU-Pueblo, long-time friend and good dude who gave it to me a few years ago as a gift for speaking to his team. The Thunderwolves just knocked off fourth-ranked Nebraska-Kearney, on the road, and moving up in the polls - "Go Johnny Go!"
It makes me think of McCartney. Long ago, back in his CU head coaching days, he gave unwavering support in overcoming the disappointing loss of my first marriage. He continues to challenge me these days too, thanks CW. It makes me think of each and every one of us. Through the years there have been many who stood behind us with unwavering support. Now, that doesn't mean there weren't unexpected and unwanted challenges along the way, but it does mean, as coach Mac likes to say, "You can't make it tough enough for me to complain."
Unwavering support. Shoulder to shoulder in ways honoring, nurturing and adding value to unity of spirt in pursuit of a worthy endeavor. I wanna play on that team forever, you? Even in the most challenging moments and regardless of venue - home, work and elsewhere - the strategy never wavers: We're ready to charge, in healthy and productive ways, from the foxhole wherever we roam. It can be a powerful force.
It's made a huge difference - thanks Dad, Vance, Jerry, Mac and others - in my life. I would suspect you could rattle off more than a few too. This week let's promise each other to be such a person to others. Unwavering support can change a person's life.
It's time to quit boring you and close with this. Again, I promise it's the truth. The music is now Jackie DeShannon's 1965 classic "What the World Needs Now" and she sings beautifully, "What the world needs now is love sweet love. No, not for some, but for everyone."
Amen to that. But here's, my opinion, the tough part: It's tough to give unwavering support without love in your heart. I've been called a lot of things in life, smart rarely one, but, for this simple dude from Missouri, it seems love, sometimes tough love, has to be part of unwavering support's foundation, right?
Have a great week!
The thought blasted through whatever brain matter remains after tugging on my McIntosh Open Golf Tournament cap. That act brings forth the spirit of a wonderful father. Taking the cap off for a second to throw on a Louisiana College comfy shirt brings forth the spirit of a wonderful mentor. I then march to a favored spot to share some thoughts: a converted kids' playhouse where when this musing - call it a Pep Talk - emerges from yours truly and he remembers to realize this is special ground: be careful to honor that when trying to inspire others to play like champions wherever they roam.
Father and coach who gave, and with Vance still give, me unwavering support; son and daughter who until my final breath, will have mine. It's a beautiful Centennial State day, trees beautifully turning gold, brown, burgundy and other wonderful colors in the Mile High City's Congress Park neighborhood. I'm sitting here sharing the idea of the importance of unwavering support. Thanks for caring.
I'm thinking of the music playing behind me. Old time greats, ironically, and I promise this is the truth, Percy Sledge's 1966 mega-hit "When a Man Loves a Woman" booms through the box and it takes me to darling girlfriend. That's my love song to Kathy Gans. Now and forever.
Anyway, back to the point, of unwavering support. This wonderful collection of enjoyable songs arrived in my life thanks to a buddy at the gym. He's been challenged of late. I have been subbing for the delightful CSU Rams' fan as instructor of an old-farts spin class. He gave me the cd long ago but now I get to play it during the Monday morning class. I get to honor his spirit. We talked the other day and I hope he believes my support is unwavering - bless ya buddy.
The cranium is tracking other recent examples of unwavering support in action. Dink! It makes me think of Thursday night's in Boulder, Colorado. There, thanks to friends like Pasta Jay's, Gebhardt BMW and others, coach Bill McCartney, I help a bit, leads a huddle of CU football fanatics unwavering support of beloved son Jon Embree's attempt to restore pride and tradition at the University of Colorado - it's been absent for a bit. This group of fun and committed folks meets once a week during the football season believing its unwavering support will make a difference. Hey, why not try?
There's a chill in the air so I went inside as the music moved to Neal Diamonds' 1966 debut single "Solitary Man." Off the hook of "favored weekend pullovers" emerges one from buddy John Wristen. He's the head football coach at undefeated CSU-Pueblo, long-time friend and good dude who gave it to me a few years ago as a gift for speaking to his team. The Thunderwolves just knocked off fourth-ranked Nebraska-Kearney, on the road, and moving up in the polls - "Go Johnny Go!"
It makes me think of McCartney. Long ago, back in his CU head coaching days, he gave unwavering support in overcoming the disappointing loss of my first marriage. He continues to challenge me these days too, thanks CW. It makes me think of each and every one of us. Through the years there have been many who stood behind us with unwavering support. Now, that doesn't mean there weren't unexpected and unwanted challenges along the way, but it does mean, as coach Mac likes to say, "You can't make it tough enough for me to complain."
Unwavering support. Shoulder to shoulder in ways honoring, nurturing and adding value to unity of spirt in pursuit of a worthy endeavor. I wanna play on that team forever, you? Even in the most challenging moments and regardless of venue - home, work and elsewhere - the strategy never wavers: We're ready to charge, in healthy and productive ways, from the foxhole wherever we roam. It can be a powerful force.
It's made a huge difference - thanks Dad, Vance, Jerry, Mac and others - in my life. I would suspect you could rattle off more than a few too. This week let's promise each other to be such a person to others. Unwavering support can change a person's life.
It's time to quit boring you and close with this. Again, I promise it's the truth. The music is now Jackie DeShannon's 1965 classic "What the World Needs Now" and she sings beautifully, "What the world needs now is love sweet love. No, not for some, but for everyone."
Amen to that. But here's, my opinion, the tough part: It's tough to give unwavering support without love in your heart. I've been called a lot of things in life, smart rarely one, but, for this simple dude from Missouri, it seems love, sometimes tough love, has to be part of unwavering support's foundation, right?
Have a great week!
October 9, 2011
This week's Pep Talk: "Too Few to Mention"
I'm a big Frank Sinatra fan and especially love his hit song, "My Way." The song was written for Sinatra in 1968 and he recorded it early the next year and as they say, the rest is history. For whatever reason, the words the legendary singer uses about halfway through the song have always resonated with me: "Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention. I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption."
To me, those words have always be a good reminder that life rarely goes as planned. We have regrets for things we should have done, but didn't; things we shouldn't have done, but did and regrets for whatever lies between the extremes. The Oxford American dictionary defines regret as "a feeling of sorrow, annoyance or disappointment." Ever felt that way? You bet, each and everyone of us has at various points in our lives.
Just the other night I was introducing one of the greatest players in University of Colorado football history. The California native grew up on the tough streets of south-central Los Angeles before venturing east to make his mark with the Buffaloes. In the three years Darian Hagan was CU's starting quarterback, 1989-1991, the Buffs won three straight Big 8 Conference titles and a national title in 1990. Currently the school's recruiting coordinator, the 41-year-old was a featured guest at Coach Bill McCartney's Football Feast and Fix. It was my job to exalt Hagan's great career which ultimately landed him in the school's athletic hall of fame.
I have one regret from the evening. I was so focused on the statistical accomplishments of one of college football's great dual-threat quarterbacks that I totally spaced out one of his most noble achievements: he blew out a knee in the 1991 Orange Bowl game but worked his butt off and was ready for the start of the regular season less than nine months later. Despite not being fully healed from the patella tendon surgery, the cat-quick signal-caller guided the Buffs to their third straight conference title ending his career as the school's all-time total offense leader.
I regret forgetting the impressive bounce back from injury in the introduction. I regret a lot of things through 53 years on this planet: divorces breaking up families; jobs being eliminated; bad decisions adversely affecting others and self. The question becomes, what to do when we're feeling sorrowful, annoyed or disappointed?
Take action! Seek out the person afflicted and earnestly apologize; eradicate the unproductive behavior and vow to not stay locked in the debilitating clutches of regret for too long - it can wear us out! I called Hagan and apologized the next morning.
One of the most important facts of life we must face on an almost daily basis is whether we're going to become victims of the circumstances of our lives or students of the experiences. Choose the latter, stay focused on thoughts, words and actions honoring, nurturing and adding value to the communities we serve and refuse to allow regrets to define us. Remember Sinatra's wise words: "Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention."
To me, those words have always be a good reminder that life rarely goes as planned. We have regrets for things we should have done, but didn't; things we shouldn't have done, but did and regrets for whatever lies between the extremes. The Oxford American dictionary defines regret as "a feeling of sorrow, annoyance or disappointment." Ever felt that way? You bet, each and everyone of us has at various points in our lives.
Just the other night I was introducing one of the greatest players in University of Colorado football history. The California native grew up on the tough streets of south-central Los Angeles before venturing east to make his mark with the Buffaloes. In the three years Darian Hagan was CU's starting quarterback, 1989-1991, the Buffs won three straight Big 8 Conference titles and a national title in 1990. Currently the school's recruiting coordinator, the 41-year-old was a featured guest at Coach Bill McCartney's Football Feast and Fix. It was my job to exalt Hagan's great career which ultimately landed him in the school's athletic hall of fame.
I have one regret from the evening. I was so focused on the statistical accomplishments of one of college football's great dual-threat quarterbacks that I totally spaced out one of his most noble achievements: he blew out a knee in the 1991 Orange Bowl game but worked his butt off and was ready for the start of the regular season less than nine months later. Despite not being fully healed from the patella tendon surgery, the cat-quick signal-caller guided the Buffs to their third straight conference title ending his career as the school's all-time total offense leader.
I regret forgetting the impressive bounce back from injury in the introduction. I regret a lot of things through 53 years on this planet: divorces breaking up families; jobs being eliminated; bad decisions adversely affecting others and self. The question becomes, what to do when we're feeling sorrowful, annoyed or disappointed?
Take action! Seek out the person afflicted and earnestly apologize; eradicate the unproductive behavior and vow to not stay locked in the debilitating clutches of regret for too long - it can wear us out! I called Hagan and apologized the next morning.
One of the most important facts of life we must face on an almost daily basis is whether we're going to become victims of the circumstances of our lives or students of the experiences. Choose the latter, stay focused on thoughts, words and actions honoring, nurturing and adding value to the communities we serve and refuse to allow regrets to define us. Remember Sinatra's wise words: "Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention."
October 2, 2011
This week's Pep Talk: "Too Tough to Complain"
It's an absolutely gorgeous Colorado fall morning on Poor Man's Porch. It's the first Sunday of October. I just hung up the phone from a passionate discussion with my older sister in Kansas City. We talk often these days. The discussion usually focused on care for our aging mother.
These chats can get emotional to say the least. I don't think we're alone. Anybody out there relate? I like to joke to being part of the "sandwich generation" - you? - trying like heck to, in healthy and productive ways, raise children and care for elderly loved ones. There are few more noble efforts, my opinion, in life than caring for those who gave us life and those we returned, hopefully, the favor. It can get challenging though, considering a few things: siblings, with obligations of their own, scattered around the country; relationships over the years have strained; finances are different, so too, attitudes.
It makes me think of former University of Colorado football coach Bill McCartney. He likes to suggest, especially in challenging times, "You can't make it tough enough for me to complain." That's the spirit of Coach Mac's Football Feast and Fix huddle held Thursday night's at Pasta Jay's in Boulder, Colorado: it's a group of CU football fanatics rallying weekly in unwavering support of program resurgence under, respectively, home-grown Jon Embree, Eric Bieniemy and Greg Brown - head coach, offensive coordinator and defensive coordinator.
Coach Mac always begins the program reminding the ever-growing crowd, at one of Boulder's best restaurants, a sobering fact: playing like champions does not happen overnight. There is "tough sledding" ahead. To the comments from the coach who led the Buffs to a national title in 1990, I'd like to add "amen" and this: that's the truth, playing like a champion takes time - whether we're talking college football, home, work and elsewhere.
Often the challenges before us, like making good decisions in caring for aging parents, is an ongoing process requiring excellent teamwork from those involved. To steal Coach Mac's phrase: "You can't make it tough enough for me to complain." Now, let's be realistic here, this is not to suggest we all don't have plenty of "stuff" on the platter, right? We have to focus on working like heck to turn those life lemons - heck with lemonade - into sweet and savory margaritas, true?
Well, hey, I'm just a simple dude from Missouri, but it seems, regardless of the venue making life challenging - work, home, elsewhere - we have to ask ourselves a basic question: "Hey knucklehead, student or victim?" I've been called a lot of things in life, smart rarely, but, my opinion, the former is better. Seeking solutions instead of complaining, inspires us, and others, to put fear aside and allow wonderment to win in creating productive choices to challenges faced.
It starts with, thanks Coach Mac, a "You can't make it tough enough for me to complain" attitude. Let's work our butts off this week to, wherever we roam, exalt and encourage others and self. Trust me, nobody will benefit more than us considering most folks don't enjoy being around complainers very long. Have a great week!
These chats can get emotional to say the least. I don't think we're alone. Anybody out there relate? I like to joke to being part of the "sandwich generation" - you? - trying like heck to, in healthy and productive ways, raise children and care for elderly loved ones. There are few more noble efforts, my opinion, in life than caring for those who gave us life and those we returned, hopefully, the favor. It can get challenging though, considering a few things: siblings, with obligations of their own, scattered around the country; relationships over the years have strained; finances are different, so too, attitudes.
It makes me think of former University of Colorado football coach Bill McCartney. He likes to suggest, especially in challenging times, "You can't make it tough enough for me to complain." That's the spirit of Coach Mac's Football Feast and Fix huddle held Thursday night's at Pasta Jay's in Boulder, Colorado: it's a group of CU football fanatics rallying weekly in unwavering support of program resurgence under, respectively, home-grown Jon Embree, Eric Bieniemy and Greg Brown - head coach, offensive coordinator and defensive coordinator.
Coach Mac always begins the program reminding the ever-growing crowd, at one of Boulder's best restaurants, a sobering fact: playing like champions does not happen overnight. There is "tough sledding" ahead. To the comments from the coach who led the Buffs to a national title in 1990, I'd like to add "amen" and this: that's the truth, playing like a champion takes time - whether we're talking college football, home, work and elsewhere.
Often the challenges before us, like making good decisions in caring for aging parents, is an ongoing process requiring excellent teamwork from those involved. To steal Coach Mac's phrase: "You can't make it tough enough for me to complain." Now, let's be realistic here, this is not to suggest we all don't have plenty of "stuff" on the platter, right? We have to focus on working like heck to turn those life lemons - heck with lemonade - into sweet and savory margaritas, true?
Well, hey, I'm just a simple dude from Missouri, but it seems, regardless of the venue making life challenging - work, home, elsewhere - we have to ask ourselves a basic question: "Hey knucklehead, student or victim?" I've been called a lot of things in life, smart rarely, but, my opinion, the former is better. Seeking solutions instead of complaining, inspires us, and others, to put fear aside and allow wonderment to win in creating productive choices to challenges faced.
It starts with, thanks Coach Mac, a "You can't make it tough enough for me to complain" attitude. Let's work our butts off this week to, wherever we roam, exalt and encourage others and self. Trust me, nobody will benefit more than us considering most folks don't enjoy being around complainers very long. Have a great week!
September 25, 2011
This week's Pep Talk: "Seize Another Day"
It was a beautiful Friday summer evening in the Mile High City. I can hear my wonderful alley neighbors bonding as family in their backyard. I'm sitting on Poor Man's Porch with cold beer, Rockies' radio and cat lurking as thoughts turn to others.
Specifically, two incredible human beings, who at time of writing this, had, either, tragically died from a brain aneurysm or was clinging to life after an inspiring six-year fight against brain cancer. Warriors in this condition, my opinion, called life. Dudes who former University of Colorado head football coach Bill McCartney would call, "fox hole kinda guys."
I think of these men's families and the grief witnessed: these men will be sorely missed for good reason considering how, powered by faith, they honored, nurtured and added value to each community touched. Guys who I considered, "brothers from another mother."
For the one kindred spirit clinging to life at this moment, we had a team meeting at his bedside. Many prayers for God's will be done poured from the souls of those gathered around this hilarious man. Who, in the midst of dying, would joke at Friday morning's fellowship, "I've had more issues than TIME Magazine."
I'm among the gathered and, inspired by the other prayers, offer: "Hey buddy, without a miracle - and they do happen - you will never physically be present at Platoon, but I promise you buddy, we're gonna do our best to keep your spirit alive."
I can guarantee you that's what loved ones who leave too early would expect - keep their spirit alive! What does that spirit look like? Well, how about what Peter wrote of in Galatians when speaking of a spirit demonstrating love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Those nine fruits certainly describe Doug and Mark, I miss them already.
I would suspect, but I'm just a simple dude from Missouri, that most of us - not everybody - have similar folks in our lives. Family, friends and others who really show us the way to, as I like to suggest whenever given the chance, play like a champion. Great mentors - past and present - who love us, believe in us and support our healthy and productive goals. We're touched by their spirits, and it's good.
The question becomes, as life unexpectedly kicks us in the teeth and we're wondering, "What the heck is going on here?", will we remember the spirit of those who show the way? Will we, when life throws us a lemon, dust ourselves off, continue the journey and seize another day of trying to transform lemons - heck with lemonade - into sweet and savory margaritas? I hope this week, the answer is a resounding "You bet."
Specifically, two incredible human beings, who at time of writing this, had, either, tragically died from a brain aneurysm or was clinging to life after an inspiring six-year fight against brain cancer. Warriors in this condition, my opinion, called life. Dudes who former University of Colorado head football coach Bill McCartney would call, "fox hole kinda guys."
I think of these men's families and the grief witnessed: these men will be sorely missed for good reason considering how, powered by faith, they honored, nurtured and added value to each community touched. Guys who I considered, "brothers from another mother."
For the one kindred spirit clinging to life at this moment, we had a team meeting at his bedside. Many prayers for God's will be done poured from the souls of those gathered around this hilarious man. Who, in the midst of dying, would joke at Friday morning's fellowship, "I've had more issues than TIME Magazine."
I'm among the gathered and, inspired by the other prayers, offer: "Hey buddy, without a miracle - and they do happen - you will never physically be present at Platoon, but I promise you buddy, we're gonna do our best to keep your spirit alive."
I can guarantee you that's what loved ones who leave too early would expect - keep their spirit alive! What does that spirit look like? Well, how about what Peter wrote of in Galatians when speaking of a spirit demonstrating love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Those nine fruits certainly describe Doug and Mark, I miss them already.
I would suspect, but I'm just a simple dude from Missouri, that most of us - not everybody - have similar folks in our lives. Family, friends and others who really show us the way to, as I like to suggest whenever given the chance, play like a champion. Great mentors - past and present - who love us, believe in us and support our healthy and productive goals. We're touched by their spirits, and it's good.
The question becomes, as life unexpectedly kicks us in the teeth and we're wondering, "What the heck is going on here?", will we remember the spirit of those who show the way? Will we, when life throws us a lemon, dust ourselves off, continue the journey and seize another day of trying to transform lemons - heck with lemonade - into sweet and savory margaritas? I hope this week, the answer is a resounding "You bet."
September 19, 2011
This week's Pep Talk: "A JOCK Mentality"
I really try and encourage others to see the benefit of being joyful for the blessings of life. Granted, when life sucks, that's a challenging proposition. But blessings are usually present, we just struggle to sense them.
It's just my opinion, but I believe gifts of blessing, when talking about this condition we call life, usually show up disguised in one of three ways: surviving, growing or thriving. Many factors determine location within that tri-level residence. Most of us sure would enjoy more time on the top floor, right?
The joy for blessings meter was registering in the growing area as I zipped south toward the Mile High City after a quick trip to Longmont, Colorado. I had visited the proud community where some of North America's earliest residents lived 14,000 years ago. It's a beautiful spot with breath-taking views of the nearby Rockies. I had the honor of giving a Pep Talk at the Longmont Association of Realtors' annual awards/induction banquet.
It had been a wonderful evening observing dedicated women and men being honored for past deeds and future responsibilities and encouraging everyone in attendance to play like champions wherever they roam - home, work and elsewhere. That's a real joy of mine and the entire Faith, Life and Sports (FLS) Foundation family: giving others hope and confidence.
In short, spirit was upbeat as I'm navigating a detour in Denver's Uptown neighborhood. A construction project near a hospital in the area is disrupting a normally smooth final few, from travels north of the city, miles to home. It was annoying. Then, while obeying a four-way stop, something appears in the car's headlights that moved the spirit needle dramatically.
Two young adults entered the crosswalk in front of the car, arms around one another and crying. Something transpired inside the nearby hospital on a splendid Centennial State evening of late summer creating great sadness for a grieving - looked college age - young woman and man. It sure seemed like their world had been rocked and this was an evening to recall much differently than I would, for grief, not joy.
It quickly brought me back to a brutal, but true, fact of life: rarely does it go the way we planned, right? One of the biggest responses from the Longmont crowd had been when I asked, early in the message, "What's the only thing constant in life?" Almost in unison, and emphatically, about 200 folks offered, "Change."
When we least expect, and desire, it too. The change might be our health, job, relationship or other circumstances - venues change. What doesn't change is our strategy - call it a game plan - for dealing with life's lemons: focus on blessings even when they're real tough to find; remain optimistic about the future and courageous despite the past. Joy, optimism and courage are terrific teammates helping us kick ass in the game of life!
Joy. Optimism. Courage. Kick ass. You could call it a JOCK mentality.
It's just my opinion, but I believe gifts of blessing, when talking about this condition we call life, usually show up disguised in one of three ways: surviving, growing or thriving. Many factors determine location within that tri-level residence. Most of us sure would enjoy more time on the top floor, right?
The joy for blessings meter was registering in the growing area as I zipped south toward the Mile High City after a quick trip to Longmont, Colorado. I had visited the proud community where some of North America's earliest residents lived 14,000 years ago. It's a beautiful spot with breath-taking views of the nearby Rockies. I had the honor of giving a Pep Talk at the Longmont Association of Realtors' annual awards/induction banquet.
It had been a wonderful evening observing dedicated women and men being honored for past deeds and future responsibilities and encouraging everyone in attendance to play like champions wherever they roam - home, work and elsewhere. That's a real joy of mine and the entire Faith, Life and Sports (FLS) Foundation family: giving others hope and confidence.
In short, spirit was upbeat as I'm navigating a detour in Denver's Uptown neighborhood. A construction project near a hospital in the area is disrupting a normally smooth final few, from travels north of the city, miles to home. It was annoying. Then, while obeying a four-way stop, something appears in the car's headlights that moved the spirit needle dramatically.
Two young adults entered the crosswalk in front of the car, arms around one another and crying. Something transpired inside the nearby hospital on a splendid Centennial State evening of late summer creating great sadness for a grieving - looked college age - young woman and man. It sure seemed like their world had been rocked and this was an evening to recall much differently than I would, for grief, not joy.
It quickly brought me back to a brutal, but true, fact of life: rarely does it go the way we planned, right? One of the biggest responses from the Longmont crowd had been when I asked, early in the message, "What's the only thing constant in life?" Almost in unison, and emphatically, about 200 folks offered, "Change."
When we least expect, and desire, it too. The change might be our health, job, relationship or other circumstances - venues change. What doesn't change is our strategy - call it a game plan - for dealing with life's lemons: focus on blessings even when they're real tough to find; remain optimistic about the future and courageous despite the past. Joy, optimism and courage are terrific teammates helping us kick ass in the game of life!
Joy. Optimism. Courage. Kick ass. You could call it a JOCK mentality.
September 11, 2011
"In A Heartfelt Manner"
It was one of those Centennial State Saturdays, weather-wise, making you shout, "God I love living here."
In fact, it was the day before our nation observed 9/11 a decade later. A day, like Pearl Harbor and others, that will live in infamy, defined as "notoriety caused by great evil." Amen to that. That's what occupying my thoughts while pulling into Target to fetch energy drinks for freshman daughter's volleyball team and its day-long tournament. Then, for whatever reason, thoughts shifted to a wonderful friend who just lost his mother.
Singer Jackie DeShannon's "What the World Needs Now is Love, Sweet Love" bellowed from the car's stereo system as I parked, turned the music down and placed a call: "Hey buddy," I offered into voicemail, "I hear your mom passed away. My thoughts and prayers are with you." The dear friend on the receiving end of this message is one of the greatest human beings I've ever met. We've known each other a long-time. I would trust him with my life. He had great role models in his parents. One of them is now gone.
"I guarantee you buddy, wherever your mom is today she is looking down on you and saying, keep up the good work as a father, husband and friend." After a few more comments about how much I admired his mother and, him, the father of two growing boys, the call ended with "I love you buddy."
Later in the day after the daughter's volleyball marathon was complete, I'm back in the car fetching delicious barbecue in route to darling girlfriend's home for a mellow evening. Donovan's "Catch the Wind" is now the music of choice and a college buddy, in challenging times, the call of choice. As expected, considering he's gone into a self-imposed submarine, there is no answer. I leave a message: "You can avoid me all you want but it will never erase my love for you."
And then it dawns on me. The power of an encouraging word. I want to to challenge you this week: take the sixty seconds necessary to call - no email or texting allowed - and, in a heartfelt manner, someone and tell them how much you love them. Let them hear your voice and its sincerity.
In fact, as Americans a decade after a day notorious for great evil, might it be a good time for us to proclaim, in a heartfelt manner, our love of country? What could we start TODAY that would demonstrate love and contribute to our nation's recovery from what ails us - home, work and elsewhere? More support of our kids, spouses, significant others, aging parents, schools, businesses, communities and others? All of the above require, to varying degrees, our work, wealth and wisdom. I know, easier said than done but WE CAN DO IT!
Back in 1918, while serving in America's armed forces, Irving Berlin wrote the famous song and lyrics, "God bless America, land that I love.....". Ten years have passed. We remember the loss, heroism and significance.
Let's never forget this country's potential. It starts with, in a heartfelt manner, love and respect for one another and a willingness to embrace unity of spirit while accepting diversity of belief. When you think about it rarely does anything, of value, begin without a heartfelt manner. Let's display it in abundance this week!
In fact, it was the day before our nation observed 9/11 a decade later. A day, like Pearl Harbor and others, that will live in infamy, defined as "notoriety caused by great evil." Amen to that. That's what occupying my thoughts while pulling into Target to fetch energy drinks for freshman daughter's volleyball team and its day-long tournament. Then, for whatever reason, thoughts shifted to a wonderful friend who just lost his mother.
Singer Jackie DeShannon's "What the World Needs Now is Love, Sweet Love" bellowed from the car's stereo system as I parked, turned the music down and placed a call: "Hey buddy," I offered into voicemail, "I hear your mom passed away. My thoughts and prayers are with you." The dear friend on the receiving end of this message is one of the greatest human beings I've ever met. We've known each other a long-time. I would trust him with my life. He had great role models in his parents. One of them is now gone.
"I guarantee you buddy, wherever your mom is today she is looking down on you and saying, keep up the good work as a father, husband and friend." After a few more comments about how much I admired his mother and, him, the father of two growing boys, the call ended with "I love you buddy."
Later in the day after the daughter's volleyball marathon was complete, I'm back in the car fetching delicious barbecue in route to darling girlfriend's home for a mellow evening. Donovan's "Catch the Wind" is now the music of choice and a college buddy, in challenging times, the call of choice. As expected, considering he's gone into a self-imposed submarine, there is no answer. I leave a message: "You can avoid me all you want but it will never erase my love for you."
And then it dawns on me. The power of an encouraging word. I want to to challenge you this week: take the sixty seconds necessary to call - no email or texting allowed - and, in a heartfelt manner, someone and tell them how much you love them. Let them hear your voice and its sincerity.
In fact, as Americans a decade after a day notorious for great evil, might it be a good time for us to proclaim, in a heartfelt manner, our love of country? What could we start TODAY that would demonstrate love and contribute to our nation's recovery from what ails us - home, work and elsewhere? More support of our kids, spouses, significant others, aging parents, schools, businesses, communities and others? All of the above require, to varying degrees, our work, wealth and wisdom. I know, easier said than done but WE CAN DO IT!
Back in 1918, while serving in America's armed forces, Irving Berlin wrote the famous song and lyrics, "God bless America, land that I love.....". Ten years have passed. We remember the loss, heroism and significance.
Let's never forget this country's potential. It starts with, in a heartfelt manner, love and respect for one another and a willingness to embrace unity of spirit while accepting diversity of belief. When you think about it rarely does anything, of value, begin without a heartfelt manner. Let's display it in abundance this week!
September 6, 2011
"The Encouragement It Provides"
On a recent evening I zipped into a sandwich shop to pick up a sub platter former wife had ordered and was my responsibility to retrieve for our beautiful, smart and athletic daughter's school event. I'm blessed we get along. Anyway, as I hurried to the counter, an enthusiastic employee smiles broadly and states: "Hey Mark, how are you. You spoke at the Larimer County Jail when I was there. Thanks."
Okay, I might be a simple dude from Missouri, but that was a different introduction to somebody, right? The store wasn't real busy so we had a chance to chat. It was inspiring. This handsome young man mentioned he was a shift manager, happy and working hard to learn from his mistakes. You go boy. I love speaking in correctional facilities. There are so many talented, smart and creative people incarcerated. It comes down to making healthy choices, right?
Now, let's be clear, there are many bad people who need to be removed from society but there are many who are pretty good folks making, for whatever reason, bad choices earning time in the gray-bar motel. I've been there a few times myself for silly mistakes.
A young man with a bright smile and, at least at this time, even brighter future and I quickly ran through the four strategies discussed in the Pep Talk presentation he and other - male and female - inmates heard that day: be a student, not victim of life's experiences; understand we're not along and it's important to connect with others of like mind; encourage one another to put fear aside and allow wonderment to win in creating productive choices to the challenges present in ways honoring, nurturing and adding value to the communities we serve.
A few days after this chance encounter, I was reading a hot August day's edition of the Denver Post when a story about a state Department of Corrections' program catches me eye: It has inmates learning career skills in the growing renewable energy industry. Somebody's thinking, thank you! Anyway, one of the inmates is quoted as saying, "Everything is turning green; why not get educated? It's my chance to become a productive member of society."
Amen brother. Can you imagine what our world would look like if EVERYONE was focused on becoming a productive member of society? Wow, can I have another, please? The society might be your home, work, neighborhood or community. It really doesn't matter because, while the venues change, the strategies are the same.
You get kicked around for a variety of reasons including poor choices. We then have another very important choice to make: student or victim? Choose wisely, K? The road will not be easy. But, a sincere effort to become superior to our former selves is worth the effort. If for no other reason, the encouragement it provides others incarcerated by society or self.
Okay, I might be a simple dude from Missouri, but that was a different introduction to somebody, right? The store wasn't real busy so we had a chance to chat. It was inspiring. This handsome young man mentioned he was a shift manager, happy and working hard to learn from his mistakes. You go boy. I love speaking in correctional facilities. There are so many talented, smart and creative people incarcerated. It comes down to making healthy choices, right?
Now, let's be clear, there are many bad people who need to be removed from society but there are many who are pretty good folks making, for whatever reason, bad choices earning time in the gray-bar motel. I've been there a few times myself for silly mistakes.
A young man with a bright smile and, at least at this time, even brighter future and I quickly ran through the four strategies discussed in the Pep Talk presentation he and other - male and female - inmates heard that day: be a student, not victim of life's experiences; understand we're not along and it's important to connect with others of like mind; encourage one another to put fear aside and allow wonderment to win in creating productive choices to the challenges present in ways honoring, nurturing and adding value to the communities we serve.
A few days after this chance encounter, I was reading a hot August day's edition of the Denver Post when a story about a state Department of Corrections' program catches me eye: It has inmates learning career skills in the growing renewable energy industry. Somebody's thinking, thank you! Anyway, one of the inmates is quoted as saying, "Everything is turning green; why not get educated? It's my chance to become a productive member of society."
Amen brother. Can you imagine what our world would look like if EVERYONE was focused on becoming a productive member of society? Wow, can I have another, please? The society might be your home, work, neighborhood or community. It really doesn't matter because, while the venues change, the strategies are the same.
You get kicked around for a variety of reasons including poor choices. We then have another very important choice to make: student or victim? Choose wisely, K? The road will not be easy. But, a sincere effort to become superior to our former selves is worth the effort. If for no other reason, the encouragement it provides others incarcerated by society or self.
August 28, 2011
This week's Pep Talk: "Joy, not Regret"
It's a lazy Saturday afternoon and I'm blessed to be sitting in Vail, Colorado, at the Red Lion, a popular local hangout. A folk singer is providing entertaining live music, a bartender is supplying cold beer and a weekend Denver Post is offering news of the day.
A picture in the sports section captures my attention. It's former NBA player Dennis Rodman, overcome with emotion, giving his induction speech. Dressed eccentric as usual, the former Piston, Laker and Spur rebounding machine was grateful for the great coaches of his life who taught him how to play like a champion and remorseful for children neglected as a father.
Ironically, I had observed this picture just seconds after texting my 21-year-old son and congratulating him for being such a responsible older brother to his 14-year-old sister who recently visited the aspiring television producer in Los Angeles. One of the real challenges of being a twice divorced father of two great kids - one from each marriage - is the reality they don't get to spend much time together. I'm very grateful for the time they do hang together even if, at their age, it's time they'd rather spend solo, without their old man lurking.
Is there anything more important in life than, and I know it ain't easy, being a responsible parent? My goodness, our children didn't ask to be brought into this world, right? We created them, isn't it our responsibility to show, not tell, them through our thoughts, words and actions, how to play like champions wherever they roam?
I don't know how many kids - Wikipedia says three - Rodman has fathered over the years but his crazy lifestyle certainly has made far more headlines than accolades for parenting prowess. I find it also ironic that, during the emotional address, the New Jersey native understood the value coaches brought into his life.
It makes me think of mentors. Whether we're talking home, work or elsewhere, including basketball, we are heavily influenced by mentors, another name for a coach. A friend of mine, with a good track record of coaching success in football and life, once told me a great definition for a coach. It comes from former Dallas Cowboy head coach Tom Landry, considered one of the greatest mentors in NFL history. Landry once said, when speaking of coaching: "A coach is a person who requires others to do what they don't want to do in order to achieve things they've always dreamed of doing."
Rodman had others who helped him achieve - Hall of Fame induction - things most could only dream of doing. For whatever reason, at least to this point in the 49-year-old's life, he's remorseful for underachieving when it comes to being hall-of-fame old man.
But here's the beauty of life. It's never too late to begin. It's never too late to tell your children how much you love them, believe in them and support their pursuit of healthy and productive dreams. Perhaps more important than telling them, is to show them.
Parenting is coaching. It ain't easy and there's no guarantee of success but give it your best shot. Let's work like heck this week to make sure any tears concerning kids are tears of joy, not regret.
A picture in the sports section captures my attention. It's former NBA player Dennis Rodman, overcome with emotion, giving his induction speech. Dressed eccentric as usual, the former Piston, Laker and Spur rebounding machine was grateful for the great coaches of his life who taught him how to play like a champion and remorseful for children neglected as a father.
Ironically, I had observed this picture just seconds after texting my 21-year-old son and congratulating him for being such a responsible older brother to his 14-year-old sister who recently visited the aspiring television producer in Los Angeles. One of the real challenges of being a twice divorced father of two great kids - one from each marriage - is the reality they don't get to spend much time together. I'm very grateful for the time they do hang together even if, at their age, it's time they'd rather spend solo, without their old man lurking.
Is there anything more important in life than, and I know it ain't easy, being a responsible parent? My goodness, our children didn't ask to be brought into this world, right? We created them, isn't it our responsibility to show, not tell, them through our thoughts, words and actions, how to play like champions wherever they roam?
I don't know how many kids - Wikipedia says three - Rodman has fathered over the years but his crazy lifestyle certainly has made far more headlines than accolades for parenting prowess. I find it also ironic that, during the emotional address, the New Jersey native understood the value coaches brought into his life.
It makes me think of mentors. Whether we're talking home, work or elsewhere, including basketball, we are heavily influenced by mentors, another name for a coach. A friend of mine, with a good track record of coaching success in football and life, once told me a great definition for a coach. It comes from former Dallas Cowboy head coach Tom Landry, considered one of the greatest mentors in NFL history. Landry once said, when speaking of coaching: "A coach is a person who requires others to do what they don't want to do in order to achieve things they've always dreamed of doing."
Rodman had others who helped him achieve - Hall of Fame induction - things most could only dream of doing. For whatever reason, at least to this point in the 49-year-old's life, he's remorseful for underachieving when it comes to being hall-of-fame old man.
But here's the beauty of life. It's never too late to begin. It's never too late to tell your children how much you love them, believe in them and support their pursuit of healthy and productive dreams. Perhaps more important than telling them, is to show them.
Parenting is coaching. It ain't easy and there's no guarantee of success but give it your best shot. Let's work like heck this week to make sure any tears concerning kids are tears of joy, not regret.
August 21, 2011
This week's Pep Talk: "Emotion of Great Delight"
While sweating away on cardio equipment at a gym in Vail, Colorado on Independence Day weekend, I was watching the men's final from Wimbledon. Serbia's Novak Djokovic had just beaten Spain's Rafael Nadal for the title. The 24-year-old was celebrating afterward, tossing tennis rackets, sweatbands and kisses to the adoring English crowd.
Then the image of his family in the stands was shown. The unbridled joy on their faces prompted tears to flow from my eyes and join the sweat of my face. Is there any greater joy for a parent than to watch your child achieve a dream? It was this season's number-one ranked player's first Wimbledon title.
Joy, wow, what a great thing to possess, right? Defined as "the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying", joy is something to cherish, and welcome, when it appears. In each and every Pep Talk presentation, we talk about being "joyful for the blessings of life." Is it just me, or does it seem moments where joy reigns, like the Djokovic family celebration, are experienced less than speaking directly to a customer service representative? Rarely?
That darn thing called life, with its unexpected, and unwanted, twists and turns often makes it tough to experience great delight and happiness. Right before sitting down to remove this thoughts from cranium, I received a message on Facebook from a friend asking for prayers and support: a brain tumor was wreaking havoc on her mind, body and spirit, causing seizures and horrific pain.
Where's the joy in that? We all have challenges - physical, emotional, financial and spiritual - constantly battering our bodies, minds, souls and wallets. The question becomes, how do we handle life's lemons?
Well, how about this: Try like heck to become a student, not victim of the experience; realize you're not alone and connect with others who might share similar challenges; encourage - give hope and confidence to - one another to put fear aside and allow wonderment to win in creating productive choices to the challenges faced. Finally, we have to make sure our strategy to overcoming the adversity honors us, nurtures those dependent upon us and adds value the communities we serve. It's a four-step process with, darn it, no shortcuts.
Hope and enthusiasm for the future, in the face of great adversity, is not an easy task. However, with hope, "feeling that what is wanted can be had, or that events will work out for the best", we are inclined to exert effort - like Djokovic at Wimbledon - leading to success and the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.
Imagine if that would be an accurate - exceptionally good or satisfying - description of our lives? Have a great week and for those where just surviving right now is a very good option - BLESS YOU!
Then the image of his family in the stands was shown. The unbridled joy on their faces prompted tears to flow from my eyes and join the sweat of my face. Is there any greater joy for a parent than to watch your child achieve a dream? It was this season's number-one ranked player's first Wimbledon title.
Joy, wow, what a great thing to possess, right? Defined as "the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying", joy is something to cherish, and welcome, when it appears. In each and every Pep Talk presentation, we talk about being "joyful for the blessings of life." Is it just me, or does it seem moments where joy reigns, like the Djokovic family celebration, are experienced less than speaking directly to a customer service representative? Rarely?
That darn thing called life, with its unexpected, and unwanted, twists and turns often makes it tough to experience great delight and happiness. Right before sitting down to remove this thoughts from cranium, I received a message on Facebook from a friend asking for prayers and support: a brain tumor was wreaking havoc on her mind, body and spirit, causing seizures and horrific pain.
Where's the joy in that? We all have challenges - physical, emotional, financial and spiritual - constantly battering our bodies, minds, souls and wallets. The question becomes, how do we handle life's lemons?
Well, how about this: Try like heck to become a student, not victim of the experience; realize you're not alone and connect with others who might share similar challenges; encourage - give hope and confidence to - one another to put fear aside and allow wonderment to win in creating productive choices to the challenges faced. Finally, we have to make sure our strategy to overcoming the adversity honors us, nurtures those dependent upon us and adds value the communities we serve. It's a four-step process with, darn it, no shortcuts.
Hope and enthusiasm for the future, in the face of great adversity, is not an easy task. However, with hope, "feeling that what is wanted can be had, or that events will work out for the best", we are inclined to exert effort - like Djokovic at Wimbledon - leading to success and the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.
Imagine if that would be an accurate - exceptionally good or satisfying - description of our lives? Have a great week and for those where just surviving right now is a very good option - BLESS YOU!
