Mark McIntosh's Blog, page 23

Pep Talk: "Setbacks as Springboards"

“Halo, halo!” exalted the aging, chunky  and chalky white dude who had leapt from a sitting position in exuberance over another fantastic play from the Denver East High School volleyball team.
Two women seated nearby looked at this guy like he was crazy. One was the man’s darling fiancee, the other, a former wife and mother to this simple dude from Missouri’s precious daughter, a setter for the improving Angels. By the way, daughter, who was on the court had the usual, “Dad you’re SO WEIRD!” look on her beautiful face.
Guilty as charged.
What struck most from observing coach Tarah Sponenberg’s team on another rainy Saturday during the Centennial State’s terrible floods of 2013, was this: The great plays were coming in games that the team eventually lost. But the defeats were coming at the hands of two outstanding squads ranked among Colorado’s best in girls’ volleyball: Grandview and Mountain Vista.
In losing, the Angels were gaining greatly. You could see their confidence growing throughout the day. They stood toe-to-toe with the best and held their own. Vast improvement from a year ago. The only teams that beat Denver East in this tournament were the tournament’s top two of of 12. Impressive. The victories were decisive in winning the consolation championship
Sitting there with other parents and encouraging daughters to “keep fighting” against the powerful teams reminded me about our respective journeys on this roller coaster known as life. We have the opportunity to learn greatly from setbacks. To become students of the experiences of our lives and not victims of the circumstances. It’s something we discuss in every live Pep Talk presentation.
In this case, despite getting beat, the Angels were beginning to realize that with a little more practice and discipline, they can play with the big girls. They were using the experience to learn and become superior to their former selves. They did have a choice between using the setbacks as a booster shot or allowing the setback to spread a pessimistic, “We’re never going to be able to beat those teams” type of spirit. Good for them that they appear to be choosing the former. Good for the girls, they have a coach who would never allow the former to happen under her watch. East is on the rise in volleyball.
What about our lives? Could there be situations perceived as setbacks right now that with a different perspective, could actually be transformed into a springboard to future success? Home, work or elsewhere?
To steal some lines from fellow motivational speaker/writer Andy Peeke, for this young volleyball team it’s about “Believing in yourself, having a superior attitude and figuring it out.” Amen, buddy.
It makes me think of the guys at the Denver Rescue Mission. I hang with them every Thursday morning and encourage them to achieve goals and overcome challenges. One of my favorite moments in our time together takes place at the beginning of each chapel service, when I ask the following question, “Did anybody expect to be living at the Denver Rescue Mission on - fill in the date?” The answer is usually demonstrated, not verbalized, with a solemn shaking of their heads.
But then I query, “Okay, none of us expected to be here, but here we are. Let’s make the most of it!” It’s about believing in ourselves, maintaining a superior attitude and figuring it out. Yep. The venues may change, but the strategies, at least in my opinion, remain the same. Will the setbacks of life - physical, emotional or financial - become springboards to the future or anchors to the past?
Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, children of all ages, it’s our choice. Choose wisely.
We can do it, too. It ain’t gonna be easy. Wherever you roam this week, try like heck to use setbacks as springboards. Believe in yourself, your team, your business, your church, your non-profit, your school, your family and all the rest. Maintain a superior attitude and figure it out.
After winning the consolation championship, the East Angels, as a team, watched the tournament championship battle. It was played in a jam-packed main gymnasium. The battle pitted the only two teams to have conquered this young and maturing unit. They now realize they can dwell in that arena. Winners.
The old man was not invited to join but on his way to the car, in celebration of a great day of volleyball, did bellow one more time, “Halo, halo!”

Pep Talk: "No Double Trouble"

Confession time. I suck when it comes to losing sunglasses. By which I mean I’m really good at losing them.
Pursuing the whereabouts of the latest pair took me into a nearby watering hole, World of Beer. Love the place. Anyway, it’s opening Sunday of the NFL season, so there’s a zillion games on a zillion televisions. No sunglasses. Bartender offers empathy.
“Might as well stay, watch some games and have a beer.” It took about a nanosecond to agree.
So while sitting there watching the Bengals lead the Bears in Chicago, Titans topping the Steelers in Pittsburgh, Chiefs dominating the Jags in Jacksonville and all the other games, my mind wandered to what coaches say so often after a devastating defeat.
“We can’t let this beat us twice.”
Yep. It’s what coaches talk about all the time. After losing a game in disappointing circumstances - the Denver Broncos loss to Baltimore in last year’s AFC playoffs - it’s imperative for the jolted team to not allow the hangover to deeply affect future performance. Despite recognition of the challenge, it happens often, despite best efforts to avoid it.
I think what sparked the “We can’t let this beat us twice” thought process was a couple of personal issues banging around in my noggin’ on a warm mid-September Centennial State Sunday.
Life throws curveballs. The journey’s a roller coaster for sure, ain’t it? I find it fascinating to be in public places, look around at others and wonder, “What’s their story? What’s going on in their life?” We all have challenges. They come in a variety of shapes, sizes and volume but are usually in one of three areas: physical, emotional or financial.
For me, the two above-referenced brain cramps centered on the emotional side of dealing with a tragic family illness and a teenage child’s growing maturation.
The stuff life brings our way, at the most inopportune times. Quite often, whatever ails us can spread its emotional toll to other important areas of our world - home, work and elsewhere.
We must try like heck to not let that happen. That gets us back to the “We can’t let this beat us twice.”
As much as possible, avoid the domino effect. You know what I’m talking about. We’ve all stacked up dominos and then pushed just one. What happens next rarely fails to marvel all experiencing the avalanche of fallen tiles.
Could it be true about life as well? Whether the challenge before us is physical, emotional or financial, if we allow it to spill into other meaningful and important areas and relationships, could that only make it worse?
Collateral Damage?
When military strategists meet and ponder attacking someone, the topic of collateral damage, we would hope, is always discussed. For instance, the discussion around bombing Syria as punishment for the deplorable act of using chemical weapons to kill innocent civilians. In all accounts I’ve read, one of the challenges is that the bad guys America wants to eradicate have hunkered down in Syrian areas of folks just minding their business and trying to survive.
The collateral damage to destroy the bad guys would be enormous considering their location.
The one beer was complete. No game had changed dramatically, except in Buffalo where the Patriots had rallied to win. I walked into the bright Colorado sunshine, squinting mightily without those darn sunglasses, to head for home with a powerful reminder about collateral damage.
Stuff’s gonna happen in life. It will rattle us to the core. Obviously, we have to deal with it. In doing so, we also need to shelter surrounding areas from the storm.
Don’t let it beat you twice. Limit the collateral damage. Avoid the domino effect. Call it what you like. Very simple to say and affirm. Very challenging to embrace when the challenges hit and threaten our world.
Look around and realize you’re not alone. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and ask for encouragement. We’re here to give each other hope and confidence.
To prevail against what ails, we can’t let it beat us twice. No double trouble.
Nobody needs to heed that advice more than the simple dude from Missouri offering it.
Good luck!

Pep Talk: "The Possibility Pool"

Meeting with a bunch of knuckleheads has once again rattled my brain. Here goes.
First, a little background. Each Friday, when not traveling, I attend what I would call a team meeting inside an office just across the street from a nice golf course in Aurora, Colorado. We call it the Platoon. It’s a bunch of dudes from all walks of life coming together to challenge one another to grow in faith.
We gather for a little more than an hour, bust each other’s chops constantly, while still cajoling, comforting and challenging one another to let it be.
Recently the topic was courage. We were studying the Bible, where in Genesis, Abraham is being tested by God. History says the father of the Jewish faith was 100 years old when siring a kid. Impressive. But now God’s telling the surprised but elated father to sacrifice this son, Isaac. Abraham, with great struggle, obeyed God. Is that courage, or stupidity? 
That leap of faith paid off handsomely, as God spared Abraham’s son and bestowed many wonderful things upon him and his descendants down the road. The point for us to think about was this: when is it time to leap into the great unknown with that kind of faith? In a room full of guys, it’s real easy to discuss and affirm. But outside the sanctuary of that room, realities of life smack us in the face. Life often takes great courage.
Before the meeting began I had met a visitor. First time he had ever attended our weekly Platoon gathering. “What brought you here?” I inquired over the din of about five separate conversations pulsating through the room. It’s the usual routine as we warm up in anticipation of challenging one another to become superior to our former selves, when it comes to our faith.
“I’m with him,” stated the bespectacled man, nodding and grinning toward a good buddy sitting on my other side. “Dang,” I countered. “You need some new friends.” We laughed about that and then dove into his history a little. A Colorado native, the man’s descendants settled in northeastern Colorado almost 150 years ago.
Those were crazy times in the history of the Centennial State. More and more white settlers were journeying west into the lands of America’s Native Americans. Battles were frequent.
“My great-great Grandpa headed west when he was 14-years-old.” He then sealed the deal with, “I can’t imagine that.”
Courage. Defined as, “the ability to have bravery conquer fear when facing uncertainty.” It seems we’re constantly playing that game, aren’t we? Courage versus fear? Go for it, or not? What are the pros and cons? It’s a constant dialogue we have with ourselves and others.
Sitting there my brain zips to the men I’m blessed to lead Thursday mornings at the Denver Rescue Mission. We joke at the beginning of our 30 minutes together, “Who planned on being at the Denver Rescue Mission on  - fill in the blank - this date?” Nobody raises his hand. We then agree that, “Hey, here we are. Let’s make the best of it and try like heck to achieve goals and overcome challenges to prevail against what ails us, emotionally, physically and spiritually.”
We talk for 30 minutes about how it will take great courage to change. We encourage one another that, “Yes, we can!” Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?
Later I recall - my mind wanders occasionally - a hand-written letter from Bud Lathrop, my high school basketball coach. One of my great mentors had sent a congratulatory note about an upcoming event and mentioned in the message, another fellow honoree, “Coach Craddock and I came to Raytown South in 1961. We were the first two coaches hired. The school didn’t even have a gym.”
Courage. It’s required to take that big leap of faith into the great unknown with wonderment as our guiding light. Whether it’s one of the great figures of faith, a teenager heading toward our nation’s developing and dangerous western frontier, two great coaches leaving others job to start a new school, men trying to get off the streets, or you and me. 
The players on stage differ greatly, but all share one thing in common: the necessity to muster the strength to leap off the high dive and into the possibilities pool when we’re called.
One of the long-time members of the group has that challenge before him. Along with his wonderful wife, he’s pondering expanding the family by welcoming two girls, sisters, into their home. The girls have been in foster care after losing their parents in a murder/suicide a few years back.
Courage. It’s required to win the battle over fear about finances, family dynamics and room for two more active kids.
What about you? Me? As I like to ask in live Pep Talk presentations, when is it time to “Run to Daylight?”
Whenever it might be, good luck. Go ahead. Jump into the possibility pool!

Pep Talk: "Life's Turbulence"

“In recent months I’ve lost my father, my 11-year-old daughter and a marriage.”
The news delivered at Denver’s Avenue Theatre during intermission of an event focused on dealing effectively with loss and adversity made my heart sink to my toes.
Turbulence.
I placed a hand on each shoulder to try to comfort a grieving human. “My father committed suicide. My daughter suffered a fatal stroke. A struggling marriage ran out of gas.”
Turbulence.
Many had gathered on this evening to hear testimonials from others dealing with tragedy. An incredibly brave and vulnerable Doug Vincent, accompanied by musician Sam Llanas, delivered the powerful A Day for Grace performance. Before a sellout crowd, it headlined an emotional program I was honored to host.
The weekly thoughts offered in this space often attempt to address life’s unpredictable nature. Those moments in time that leave us perplexed at its sometimes cruelty.
Why? Why did - fill in the blank - happen to me? Or to a loved one?
Just hours after this random encounter with a grieving man, I had gone to Facebook crying out for prayers for a woman near and dear to my heart who was critically ill. A mother, wife, sister, friend and vibrant spirit. On the precipice between life and death far too early. Far too young.
Turbulence.
The fragility of life. The reminder that all we really have, despite our exhaustive, exhilarating and extensive planning, is right here, right now.
It reminds me of what another man told me many years ago. Something I’ll never forget.   “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow’s but a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.”
Don’t waste a nanosecond on the past and its pain. Forgiveness of self and others must enrich the soil of our futures if we desire to grow and prosper. It’s real easy to write such stuff and to speak of it. Reality warns us that it’s far more difficult to execute. Simple, not easy.
For each and everyone of you dealing with life threatening, life taking, life changing moments in time, please know there are many folks in this world who want to comfort you. Wrap you in their arms. Pray you muster strength for a pending rollercoaster journey and its unknown, unwanted twists and dips.
Turbulence. It’s defined as “violent disorder or commotion.” It arrives via airplane travel, physical ailments, emotional heartache and financial setbacks. Rarely does the first have a lasting effect. It’s temporary and usually requires us to simply tighten the lap belt and remain seated. This too shall pass.
But then the haymakers suddenly appear. The powerful left hook that threatens to knock us out. Violent disorder and commotion. It rocks our world. Pierces our souls with daggers of despair. 
Forgive. Address. Unite.
Cherish each day. Each moment. Each breath.
Don’t put off until tomorrow what should be done today.
Never has a Pep Talk been of such rambling thoughts. It was produced from a grieving heart. We all have been there, are there, will be there.
Let’s try like heck to shelter one another as best we can from the storm. Life’s turbulence. It can get real bumpy. It can be very sad. It can be very tragic. It can threaten to overwhelm us.
It is at these times we need each other the most.

Pep Talk: "A Cue from Kyle"

I’ve always admired folks with guts. My son has guts. Good for him.
Those thoughts were rummaging around in my head while driving toward Denver International Airport. I was meeting darling fiancee there for a trip to Los Angeles to visit with my son Kyle, who’s working hard to make a mark in the entertainment world.
The drive came on the heels of presenting a Pep Talk to about 70 Kaiser Permanente employees. These are wild times in health care, with major reform already underway. We talked at length about the importance of staying united in the daunting task of achieving goals and overcoming challenges in a controversial industry. We also talked about the importance of shoving fear and self-doubt aside and allowing courage and wonderment to win. Kaiser Permanente and other providers are at ground zero of America’s attempt to fix a broken system. Some out-of-the-box thinking is required. Guts.
Which takes us back to my 23-year-old son Kyle. Back in his middle and high school days, the talented thespian starred in many productions. Performed quite well, especially as a character actor. I’ll never forget, with perfect inflection and accent while starring in a play named after its lead character, Kyle pronouncing, “The name’s Malone. Bugsy Malone.” Awesome.
But it was another lead role that especially speaks to guts. He had to play Sky Masterson in Guys and Dolls. The role required him to sing Frank Sinatra’s hit song, Luck Be A Lady. Kyle really had no interest in singing, but to secure the lead it was required. He threw caution to the wind and, while auditioning, acted and sang well enough to earn the marquee spot.
At that time many years ago, I started listening to Sinatra’s song all the time while driving heretofore around the Denver metro area. I have always loved Sinatra, but considering my teenage son had to sing one of his well-known numbers for the show, this song took on new meaning. Even today, every time I hear that song, it makes me think of Kyle.
Opening night. The theatre is packed. Kyle and other youngsters are entertaining the heck out of an adoring crowd. The moments nears where the middle-schooler must sing his solo while serenading the female lead. Kyle would be the first to say it could have gone a little better, but man, what an effort.
I sat there with tears in my eyes. Overwhelmed and bursting with pride and admiration for the courage and guts a young man displayed in plunging into the great unknown. He took a big leap of faith. No guarantee of success, but what the heck, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?
After the Kaiser presentation, I was visiting with one of the audience members. A delightful woman wanted this simple dude from Missouri to repeat a quote from Shakespeare that’s frequently muttered when having the privilege to stand before a group and offer encouragement for the road ahead.
When imploring crowds to not allow fear to sidetrack goals. I joke, “If you don’t believe me, how about Shakespeare?” I love what the literary icon had to say about the subject when proclaiming: “Our doubts are traitors that make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.” Amen brother.
Life is often complex and the thought about casting fear aside and allowing wonderment to win can seem the last thing to consider. Do it anyway. But don’t try this alone. Engage with like-minded folks and encourage one another to persevere on what, probably, will be a bumpy journey toward achieving goals and overcome challenges. Rarely is it easy.
Take a cue from Kyle and leap into the future. Since that moment about a decade ago, his interests have taken him behind the scenes, which these days include a lot of comedy production for Russell Brand, Nick Kroll and shows like HBO’s Veep and the critically acclaimed Arrested Development. 
Along Kyle’s journey, impressive intestinal fortitude continues to emerge: few thought the sharp young man would gain entry into New York University or land consistent employment once he departed the storied film school and headed west to Hollywood. All of them were wrong.
Despite setbacks along the way, the funny guy has stayed focused on working hard and not allowing challenges to extinguish the fire to succeed in the tough and competitive entertainment industry.
We all have those moments where we must decide. It might revolve around home, work or elsewhere. Those times in life where we must declare, “Opportunity’s knockin’ and I’m casting fear aside and allowing wonderment to win!”
This week, take a cue from Kyle. Dig deep and tap into some intestinal fortitude. It might take you to a new frontier never before imagined. Good luck!

Pep Talk: "Betterment of Others"

The lively crowd had begun to settle in as I offered this to those celebrating Make-A-Wish Colorado’s 30th anniversary: “I’ve got a big crush on Joan. I love our lunches. She doesn’t pull any punches!”
The crowd gathered at the Colorado History Museum (a beautiful venue for events, by the way) chuckled a bit while the organization’s founder looked at me with one of those “Are you crazy?” looks. This simple dude from Missouri gets them often from a woman who has dedicated life to toiling for the betterment of others.
Admirable indeed.
Most people know the Make-A-Wish brand pretty well. It’s a national organization, founded in 1980 in Arizona. Two law enforcement officers started a chain reaction of events that would lead to a terminally-ill seven-year-old boy receiving a great wish: being a cop and catching the “bad guys.” An organization was born. It’s mission to make life better for kids with life-threatening illnesses. Kids and families being touched by Wish’s magic now number more than 300,000.  Admirable indeed.
The Colorado chapter was started by Joan Mazak back in 1983 to honor her daughter, Jennifer. A liver condition robbed her of life at the age of seven, far too young. 
A distraught mother had a critical decision to make: allow this tragedy to sour her view of life, or inspire her to help others deal with the one thing all parents fear: burying children. It’s not supposed to happen that way.
It was a fun night of wonderful stories from Wish kids, celebration of sustained success and loving tributes. I was honored to host the event and exalt Mazak for somehow finding the strength and conviction to turn a truly lousy moment in life into something positive. That ol’ “lemons into margaritas” kinda deal.
I know from our enjoyable lunches and other chats that the pain of losing a child at such a tender age will, in some ways, never fade. We all have those moments in life, right? Those, “What the heck is going on around here?” kinda moments that have us believing nobody could have it any worse than we do.
Joan poured that energy into helping others. Just a while back, Make-A-Wish Colorado - the state organizations operate in partnership with the national office - granted its 4,000th wish. Through it all (and Joan would be the first to admit there’s been plenty of turbulence along the way), through passion and perseverance, and with a great team of staff and supporters, MAW-Colorado has brought respite and joy to the lives of sick kids and their families.
Many have defied the odds and survived despite the dire prognosis. Who knows, maybe the granting of their “wish” had something to do with the miraculous health reversal? Who knows?
This much we do know. Joan Mazak’s story is a good reminder. Yep. It’s a good reminder to the power of a mindset focused on the betterment of others. Nothing was going to erase the fact a mother had lost a seven-year-old daughter. The big question was, “How would Joan react?” She poured pain and sorrow into helping others, in similar straits, try to do something to find joy despite what ails. Wish it away. At least for a while.
As the talented and funny auctioneer wrapped up his duties toward the end of the evening, I glanced around the venue where many had gathered. Love was present for sure. The throng heard a wonderful story about a wish kid who wanted to write a book about cancer. That was her request. No fancy trips, no exotic shopping sprees or role playing for a day. This young lady, Jenna, wanted to have a team help her write a book about cancer.
An editor, illustrator, publisher and others helped this incredible spirit, who also survived, to write a book. A huge Colorado Rockies fan, Jenna, in her darkest hours, also thought in terms of the betterment of others.
It is not an easy task, thinking of the betterment of others. That darn thing called life sucks sometimes, and we like to throw pity parties. Eventually, however, attendance seems to decline at such affairs.
But based upon the big crowd hugging Joan, Jenna and the other champions celebrating 30 years of success for Make-A-Wish Colorado, living with a spirit centered on utilizing challenges for the betterment of others seems to be admired and effective.
It might serve us well this week too. Good luck!

Pep Talk: "Prevail Against What Ails"

Chats with Patty. They’ve become cherished events of late.
The latest occurred while cresting the hill along Highway 36 heading into Boulder, Colorado. The scenic overlook area alongside the highway, a wonderful stopping spot for many as they head into the beautiful Boulder Valley of the Centennial State. Home to the city of Boulder and the University of Colorado’s main campus. This aging jock was headed there for media day for the school’s fall programs.
I was describing the beauty of the scene with a 78-year-old woman who gave me birth and continues to give me an earful of opinion about a variety of subjects. In our frequent chats, we talk often about what a blessing it is for us. Nearing eight decades on the planet, when many others’ her age struggle with cognitive and memory issues the daughter of Charles Perry is still sharp as a tack. Equally as sharp with the tongue. The huge sports fan would make Jim Rome quite proud. “She has a take.”
In a court of law, I would call my radio co-host Eric Goodman as first witness. He’s felt Patsy’s wrath more than once as she calls into the show to offer opinion. His look of “Oh no, what’s gonna happen now?” as I bellow, “Chatty Patty you’re on Afternoon Drive!” is priceless. She’s fun to debate.
As we continued our conversation and moved beyond my description of the beauty before me, we began to talk about something many families in America face these days; When is it time for independent, but aging and becoming more fragile, people to seriously consider moving to an assisted living facility?
The mother of four has a fiercely independent spirit and has been flying solo for quite some time. The thought of asking for help is a foreign to Patsy Sue as a day without a cigarette. Rare. She’s trying like heck to stop the latter and I’m hoping like heck she’ll try the former.
“Ma, how about this? How about we set a goal for a date that we could set in concrete as to when we’re moving?” Right now, the devout gardner lives in a rural-type setting in a quaint little home just yards from her landlords. I’m very grateful for this husband and wife team. They keep tabs on mom.
Transitions in life. They are not easy. I have always been a big fan of William Bridges. He’s one of the world’s leading experts on change. The former university professor has spent more than two decades lecturing and writing about effectively dealing with life’s expected, and unexpected, detours.
A favorite story from my first book, Kids Teach the Dardnest Things, centers on my daughter. When the, now, almost 17-year-old was much younger, like six or seven. We were flying into Kansas City, Missouri, my hometown, to visit family. The current volleyball standout at East High in Denver, had a window seat. As we approached KCI she noticed a meandering body that flows near the airport. The longest river in North America is in full-view upon final approach. “Dad, what’s that?” I said, “Sweetie that’s the Missouri River.”
At the time I was in transition after a painful divorce from this precious princesses’ mother and thinking of Bridges. I had just read one of his books, The Way of Transitions. In it, the author speaks about dealing with his wife’s death from cancer. It was tough. He was beating himself up a bit. Ya know, “Hey, I’m the ‘Transitions Guy’ I should be handling this better?” The California-based consultant was flying west toward home after business on the East Coast.
It was a beautiful and clear day as the jetliner, carrying Bridges and others toward San Francisco, streaked across our nation’s skies. He also had a window seat and began to reflect on the country’s great rivers visible from 35,000 feet above America’s Heartland: 
The Ohio, Mississippi and Missouri to name a few. Suddenly it hit him: Rivers meander. They twist and turn. Quite often, at those twists and turns, fertile sediment is dropped. Most of our food grows close to these rivers in soil made rich from the river’s meandering.
Could it also be true about life? The meandering, the twists and turns, the pokes-in-the-eye, kinda moments could also provide fertile soil for wonderful things - relationships, careers and health - to grow abundantly in our lives?
It takes a lot of courage to look at life’s detours with that type of attitude. It helped Bridges effectively move beyond his wife’s death and love again. It’s helped me deal with stuff and can help you too. I know, real simple to talk about, looking at life’s detours as opportunity, far more difficult to execute.
Let’s try like heck to give it a go this week. You. Me. Chatty Patty. When thrown into transition, those “What the heck is going on around here moments?”, cast fear and self-doubt aside and allow courage and wonderment to win. There is no guarantee of success but we’ll be better for the effort.
But don’t do it alone. Find some like-minded folks and encourage one another to prevail against what ails. We draw strength from one another for the journey. Good luck!

Pep Talk: "Trusted Advisors"

A mentor. What does that look like? According to the Oxford American Dictionary it means we’re, “A trusted advisor.” If someone walked up to a person and asked, about you, me or others, “Are they good mentors?” what would be the response? Yes? No? Often? Sometimes? Rarely? Never?
That thought jumped into the scrambled brain of an aging jock from Missouri recently while staring at a sheet of paper. I was pondering a question. It came from the Raytown, MO., Schools Hall of Fame. In a few months, a blessed father of two great kids and writer of this Pep Talk is being inducted along with five others. The Hall wants information.
The election crew wanted to know this: “What are the top three to five honors or accomplishments you SPECIFICALLY want to mention as we create our programs?” The question sent brain zipping back through time. A few things came immediately to mind.
However, the question sent me into deep reflection while duties as facilities manager required errand trips on a scorching hot Centennial State weekend day in early August. Time to think about this. Okay, they’re inducting you into a Hall of Fame and they want to know the top three to five honors and accomplishments from more than five decades on the planet?
It took a while, but during a stroll through Home Depot - I’m gonna work there one day - looking for some wire mesh for gardening issues, it hit me like a ton of bricks. The number one honor or accomplishment? I’ve had great mentors.
All along the way. From a sports-dominated childhood in a wonderful community, to crazy college after the injury, to devoted friends who encouraged me to chase sportscasting dreams, to supportive friends who demanded perseverance despite the pain of family breakup, to like-minded parents passionate about caring for teachers to everyone, like you, who reads these Pep Talks and support Victory Productions. I’ve been blessed with great mentors along the way. Thanks!
As the list became clearer, it dawned in my mind that the remaining honors and accomplishments, after great mentors, were a result of the leadoff hitter. Encouraged, cajoled and instructed, through great mentors - parents, coaches, teachers, advisors, friends and others - to go for it. As I like to say in live Pep Talk presentations, “Run to Daylight.” Here’s the rest of the list: spark the creation of a foundation supporting teachers, a company dedicated to helping others achieve goals and overcome challenges, help deserved kids receive quality after-school activities and through many twists and turns, enjoy a long-time Denver television and radio career. The endeavors have ranged from wildly successful to no longer in existence. What a ride.
All along the way, often with me stubbornly resisting, great mentors have been trusted advisors giving me hope and confidence for the sometimes rocky road. Life rarely goes as planned, right? That train carrying those best-laid plans gets knocked from the tracks. Derailed. It’s good to have folks around who lift our spirits, apply salve to the wound and kick us in the butt while saying, “What the heck are you doing knucklehead?”
Great mentors. What an honor to possess. It’s number one of my list. You?
While driving back home from also picking up a new print cartridge a reality crashed into cranium: Are we trying like heck, despite the distractions of life, to be THAT kind of mentor to someone else?
Mentors, call ‘em trusted advisors, are so necessary for our success. We can’t do anything alone. We need folks along the way to light our path. Shelter us from the storms. Pull us away from the cliff. Join us in a leap of faith in casting fear and self-doubt aside and allowing courage and wonderment to win in moving beyond life’s challenging moments.
Great mentors. The question becomes, will that define our lives this week? Will we light another’s path? Shelter someone from the physical, emotional or financial storm? Pull someone from the cliff of despair? Stand shoulder to shoulder with another in getting a big running jump and LEAPING into the future with a sense of wonderment to the possibilities?
A great mentor. We just never know what kind of healthy and productive influence we can have on another’s life. I can only speak for myself but, man, what a blessing to have such support. This Hall of Fame’s for them.
Trusted advisors. Let’s be one this week!

Pep Talk: "Yes We Can!"

A brass quintet played a glorious rendition of “Amazing Grace” as I closed my eyes and thought of a wonderful buddy who was no longer with us - Frank King. Mourners had gathered beneath the soaring and majestic ceiling of Denver’s Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception to say our goodbyes.
We were on the same schedule at the gym, Kinetics Fitness Studio. Soul mates for sweat. Usually in the early morning hours, around 6:30 or so. The esteemed Denver lawyer didn’t let anything stop him from exercising. The Idaho native lived 82 years, built an incredible law practice, climbed many mountains, married twice, raised lots of kids, step kids and tons of grandchildren.
The final years were a battle with prostrate cancer. In the waning moments of a glorious run, the cancer had metastasized. There was also pneumonia to deal with and other stuff. Frank kept coming to the gym. Always pleasant and quick to laugh. Many didn’t know the guy who climbed 51 of Colorado’s 14,000-foot mountain peaks was even sick. He sure didn’t act like it.
As the music soared to a crescendo and eyes remained closed, the mind opened to many dear gym friends who have passed in recent times. Nelson, Val and now Frank. All from cancer. Incredible human beings robbed of life and breath far too young. All had the same spirit: they kept working out, despite chemotherapy, radiation and other challenges associated with fighting cancer. 
These beloved friends, and many others, embody the culture permeating from a no frills establishment your humble scribe has coined, “The best gym in America. Not for its spa, but its spirit.”
No showers. The woman change in a large closet. The dudes change in a small closet. Members would have it no other way. I love the place, teach full-body workouts classes twice a week. A new trainer chuckled recently when, after another workout, I proclaimed, “A sweat a day keeps the doctor away.” But, it seems, not always cancer.
Walking into the quaint spot that sits off an alley in Denver’s Cherry Creek North area, always inspires me to become superior to my former self.
A few years back, owner and founder Gene Cisneros began putting inspirational thoughts at the bottom of members’ monthly statements. One just jumped off the paper and right into my heart. It was attributed to Whitney Young.
Born in Kentucky back in the 1920‘s, Young’s life was rather uneventful until he marched off to World War II. Assigned to an all-black regiment of soldiers responsible for repairing bomb-damaged roads in Europe at war’s end, Young stood out.
Supervised by an all-white, Southern officer crew, the charismatic private displayed incredible leadership skills. After just three weeks he was promoted to sergeant. The promotion caused much consternation. Remember, it was the 1940’s and America was far too concerned - might still be - about the color of one’s skin.
But something magical happened within the soul of Whitney Young. The moment inspired him to dedicate his life to improving race relations in our country. Upon leaving the military, Young worked for the National Urban League, taught university classes on race relations, spent some time with the NAACP before returning to the NUL as president at the age of 40. The ten years he ran the organization was historic. At the age of 47, then President Lyndon B. Johnson awarded the father of three the country’s Medal of Freedom. Tragically, Young drowned while on a family vacation at the age of 50.
His life motto was “There’s nothing noble in being superior to somebody else, true nobility lies in becoming superior to your former self.” Amen to that. The owner of Kinetics put that at the bottom of a monthly statement a while back and it has burrowed into my marrow ever since.
Frank King lived that kind of life. The Columbia University law graduate served four years in the Navy and sailed more than 160,000 miles delivering fighter jets to U.S. military installations around the globe. Eventually moved to the Centennial State, began a five-decade stretch in law and served family, friends and community with a wonderful spirit.
A spirit of humility and the constant pursuit of improvement. My goodness, just a few days before passing, King was getting a massage and looking forward to the next workout.
Busy and active till the end. So long good buddy. Job well done.
Whitney Young. Frank King. No doubt, there’s tons of other examples too. Female and male. Where will our true nobility lie this week? Let’s pour heart and soul into becoming superior to our former selves. 
The question becomes, can we emulate? Will we emulate? This week, let’s answer that question with a collective crescendo more powerful than the music at Frank’s funeral.
“Yes we can!”

Pep Talk: "Maybe It'll Work?"

I leaned in closer to hear clearly the answer to a question posed to a young bartender at World of Beer in Glendale. Without hesitation, the 24-year-old Florida native cracked, “There are too many hippies in Denver.”
I recoiled in shock and fear. “Do you mean, like, old man hippies, like me?” A smile spread wide across her face. “No. I’m talking about kids my age. They come to Colorado and just hang out downtown and don’t even look for work. Bums me out.”
Rendered of blame but curious about her statement, I responded with, “Why don’t they want to work?” The Art Institute of Colorado student, who moved to the Centennial State with her boyfriend, pulled stylish glasses from her head and said, “I have no clue.”
We then dived into her background a bit. Your humble scribe was tasting some Belgium beers on a scorching hot Mile High City Saturday. Earlier in the day, this aging jock had presented a Pep Talk at one of Victory client’s, The Shack Restaurant. A blessed father of two wonderful kids had the opportunity to encourage others to achieve goals and overcome challenges. A simple dude from Missouri was in a grateful and celebratory mood.
“I like photography,” the pleasant woman offered. “Especially advertising and marketing photography. That’s what I want to do someday. I’m bartending right now to help pay for school.”
We fisted one another across the bar while continuing. “That’s why I have trouble with some of the young kids these days. They don’t seem to want to work for much.” Humm. 
Upon pondering the engaging young woman’s statement, I contributed, “You know, it’s not just the young kids, I know some guys who sit around during the day drawing welfare checks and selling drugs on the side. They don’t seem to want to work for much either.”
We diverted back to talking beers. I was smitten with learning more about the one quenching my thirst when thought of an admired man crashed into the cranium.
Luther Gulick.
He’s the founder of Camp Fire. The physical education instructor, back in the early 1900‘s, observed the landscape. He saw young boys, in droves, heading off to summer camps and all kinds of healthy and productive activities designed to build character and other good stuff. 
The Hawaii native wondered, “What are we doing for the girls?” An organization, known then as Camp Fire Girls, was born. It’s still alive and well a century later.  A man who also became a basketball Hall of Fame official, founded the Kansas City-based youth development organization around two primary goals: encourage young girls to realize the importance of physical fitness and learning skills outside the home. Camp Fire became coed in the 1970’s.
Remember, this was the early 1900‘s and most folks thought women needed two skills: running a home and caring for kids. Gulick challenged that narrow focus behind three simple, but hard to achieve fundamentals: work hard, make healthy choices and show love and respect for one another.
In the past, I was honored to served as executive director of Camp Fire’s Central Rockies Council. We worked with schools and housing communities in providing quality after-school programs for kids who didn’t have many options other than wandering the neighborhood after the dismissal school-bell rang.
I love Gulick’s “work hard, make healthy choices and show love and respect for another” philosophy. Heather the bartender was demonstrating it. She was working hard in school and was a very pleasant World of Beer employee. She was working hard, making healthy choices and showing me a little love with these small tastings of various Belgium lighter ales on what the establishment had proclaimed, “Belgium Independence Day.”
Work hard. Make healthy choices. Demonstrate love and respect toward others. Sounds real darn simple doesn’t it? We outta be able to do that, right? Well, that darn thing called life gets in the way.
Spouses end marriages. Bosses end jobs. Illness or injury ends dreams. The calamities that strike have a wide-range of origins. Often come out of left field and leave us wondering, “What the heck is going on around here?”
A buddy's loved ones threw a birthday bash for him recently. He's preparing for surgery to remove cancer from behind his eyes in the coming days. Stuff happens. The big question becomes, “How do we deal with life's lemons?
We should take Gulick’s advice to heart. Stay focused on working hard, making healthy choices and showing love and respect for another.
It was time to go home. While bidding Heather adieu, I exalted her with, “I admire your attitude.” It had taken me to Luther Gulick. A great man who preached  a simple, but challenging, philosophy that, personal opinion, seems to encourage us to achieve goals and overcome challenges.
It sure seems to be working for Heather. What the heck, this week, maybe it’ll work for us too.