Mark McIntosh's Blog, page 21

Pep Talk: "Rally With Others"

“Mark, many people are really disheartened.”
Yep. The woman emailing me about the Broncos’ blowout loss to Seattle in the Super Bowl is correct. Many are dejected. Wondering, “What the heck just happened?”
Trust me, nobody’s asking that question more than the Broncos organization. Seattle is damn good but the Seahawks are not THAT much better than Denver.
The game reminded me so much of Super Bowl XXIV, in New Orleans, 24 years ago. I was a young sports guy working for CBS4 in Denver. It was my responsibility to cover the “49ers” angle the week leading up to the game at the Superdome. I reported from New Orleans throughout the week with stories about the San Francisco crew led by Joe Montana, Jerry Rice, Roger Craig, Ronnie Lott and many other stars. There was no shortage of stories to tell from the heavily-favored 49er angle. Also, one of my favorite stories shared in live Pep Talks presentations about “Going For It” comes from this assignment.
The game was never close. Tons of San Francisco and Denver media were shifted from the main press box - it’s the Super Bowl - to seats in the rafters of the Superdome. The game, which the Niners won 55-10, was over quickly. It became a running joke among the gathered media that the dudes, and just a few ladies back around 1990 venturing into sports locker rooms, bursting into the 49ers celebratory sanctuary had a real easy job.
Meanwhile, for journalists wandering into the tomb of despair known as the Broncos’ locker room, well, that’s where you earn your pay in the business. It ain’t always easy.I’ve been in many a place like that. In sports, and in life.
There are times of great joy. When you think, “Yes, I’ve finally done, experienced, enjoyed - fill in the blank. Moments of exhilaration. In writing this, I paused for a second to look up the definition of exhilaration. Oxford describes it as, “to make very happy or lively.” I love that!
Can you imagine? More moments in life that allow us to experience abundant happiness and liveliness? Bartender, one of those for EVERYBODY in this place!
Sorry, I digress. Back to the story. Life brings us great joy. Check with the Seahawks and their followers. Life brings us great disappointment. See Denver and the Bronco Nation.
Unfortunately, it’s just the way life is. It does not go according to plan very often, does it? The Denver Broncos worked their butts of all year. The list of obstacles was formidable: Season-ending injuries, frightening illnesses and mind-boggling buffoonery from players and front-office personnel.  The organization stayed united and fought through all the adversity in impressive fashion. Admirable.
But it all ended with a crushing defeat.
Kinda like life, ain’t it? Work your butt off for a marriage, career, community cause, child, friend or anybody/anything I’ve forgotten and then it just crumbles before your eyes. The dreams and goals vaporized. It sucks.
Life is a roller coaster. Stuff like this happens. Usually, just when we can least afford the spiritual, mental, physical and financial effort required to prevail against what ails. The million-dollar question becomes, “How do we deal with devastation?”
Well, this is just an idea from a simple dude from Missouri. Take a cue from a guy who also attended the University of Missouri. He’s a trusted advisor. When talking about dealing with devastation, my buddy Billy Mac from Hackensack likes to suggest, “We gotta lie there for a bit and bleed. But eventually, we must rise, dust ourselves off and continue to march.”
Amen to that. For the Broncos, it must be, “What can we learn from this to become better next year?” It’s the same question we must ask ourselves when we’ve been blindsided by the unexpected. What are we gonna learn from it? 
I can promise you this. The Broncos will go back to work getting better. As long as John Elway’s in charge, you can hang your hat on that. What about us? It’s okay to lie down and bleed a bit after a setback, but eventually we gotta rise and fight another day.
Dealing with devastation. The venues change - sports, home, work and elsewhere - but the strategies for turning lemons into margaritas remains the same. Become a student, not victim, of the experience, understand we’re not alone, connect with like-minded folks and encourage one another to rise above in a healthy and productive manner.
Dealing with devastation ain’t easy. Don’t do it alone. Rally with others!

Pep Talk: "Can Do Spirit"

“I’ve only got four Broncos’ shirts left!” exclaimed the exuberant woman while vigorously waving the brilliantly orange apparel above her head.
Broncomania had descended upon the Mile High City in the buildup to the big game between the Broncos and Seattle Seahawks. As a side note, it’s interesting to watch most media outlets promote their coverage of the Super Bowl. Based upon personal experience from my time at Mile High Sports Radio as a talk show host, the radio guys, in promoting coverage, cannot use the name “Super Bowl.” It’s copyrighted by the NFL. It’s amusing to hear the creativity used to describe the contest, “The Big Game!” Or, it might be “The Championship Game!” Anything but “Super Bowl.” Can’t use it.
Anyway, back to the story. The atmosphere in the city is electric. The woman mentioned above is a dear friend and fellow member of a Business Network International group I attend each Wednesday morning. We’ve become a tight-knit group that genuinely enjoys one another’s company. We try and promote each other’s businesses. Most in the audience are small business owners and word-of-mouth marketing is critical to our success.
Each week everybody stands and delivers a 30-40 second “commercial” about their business. On this morning, the BNI meeting right before the Super Bowl, the men and women seemed to pour extra energy into their pitches. The place was rocking with positive energy.
It’s usually what happens when folks rally behind a common goal. In this case, it’s Broncos’ fans hoping and praying that the team can bring a third NFL title to this wonderful community. Along the Front Range and beyond, leading up to the game, positive energy was flowing more abundantly than snow was falling. The latter was plentiful. The former, off the charts.
We all have been part of such times. A collective group of people united for a common cause. It’s exhilarating, ain’t it? I’m in the middle of one of those moments right now in Victory’s work with a school district in Missouri. We’re trying to re-ignite a passion and commitment to youth sports in Raytown, Missouri. It’s my hometown, where a community influenced my development tremendously, where character traits centered on hard work, healthy choices and respect for others were drilled into me constantly - home, school and community. Primarily through youth sports.
Times have changed in Raytown. There are far more single moms leading households than in my day. One thing hasn’t changed: The value of youth sports in the development of children. Think of all the positives our kids receive: Exercise, engagement with others, and mentors encouraging them to achieve goals and overcome challenges. They learn the value of fair play. They experience the thrill of victory and agony of defeat. They become prepared to effectively deal with the adversity life, most likely, is going to bring their way upon maturation into adulthood. It’s a roller coaster for sure, right?
Inspired by the vision of Raytown School’s Superintendent Dr. Allan Markley, an ever-growing band of supporters are getting behind Raytown’s “Youth Sports Initiative.” We have big dreams, understand the challenges are formidable but are determined to charge from the fox hole, united and committed to “stand in the gap” and make this project a success.
We hope our efforts inspire other communities around our nation that are experiencing significant demographic shift, to also come together - one heartbeat - and rally behind a common cause. In this case, it’s understanding the value youth sports bring to strengthening community ties. Kids, parents and community joining forces to create a vibrant youth sports community. What’s the ol’ saying? “A cord of three strands is not easily broken.”
It starts with a collective spirit. Positive energy. The foe might be formidable, whether it’s, when talking about the Super Bowl, Seattle’s great defense, the NFL’s best in the regular season. It might be, in the case of Raytown, overcoming the challenges of single-parent homes, desertion by fathers and economic barriers.
Positive energy, a relentless commitment and a good game plan can overcome any obstacles. There’s that “cord with three strands” appearing again. A united spirit is not easily broken. Whether on the football field, with youth sports, in our homes and workplaces, and wherever else we roam and suck in oxygen.
Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking, written more than 60 years ago, continues to be a top-selling book in our land. A “Can Do” spirit does not guarantee success, but rarely does it hurt our chances. It sure energizes things.
Possess it this week!

Pep Talk: "A Terrific Tardiness"

Ever miss a deadline? It’s embarrassing for sure. Although, sometimes being tardy turns into something terrific.
I had that experience recently while straggling into the Denver Rescue Mission about ten minutes late for Thursday morning chapel. It’s my job to lead the service for the men (we call each other knuckleheads) living at DRM’s Lawrence Street facility. A larger than expected snowstorm had hit the Mile High City, snarling traffic. I sheepishly slid into a chair to listen to a man who had stepped forward in my absence.
He talked about his life. Exile was the dominant word as he described the struggles within his marriage, the struggles to have a child, the struggles with his faith. I think it’s fair to say many of us, for a variety of reasons, occasionally feel in exile, don’t we?
I wrote last week of such feelings when it comes to a teenage daughter. I know from talking with other men, I’m not alone there. The thoughts of exile might come from a longing for a new career, might have roots in a relationship gone sour, might have roots in God knows where.
Exile. Defined in Oxford as “being sent away as punishment.” Often being sent away as punishment seems unjust doesn’t it? Being laid off from a job, served divorce papers or no longer receiving invitations to cherished endeavors and events, to name just a few. Life in exile ain’t easy.
I leaned in closer as this man continued to speak. He was referencing the book of Jeremiah, when Jewish faithful were in exile long ago and how the wise words stated there had inspired him.
“When my wife and I were separated from one another, that was exile,” he admitted. “But we made a decision to use that time of exile to work on ourselves.” Admirable.
What do we do when thrown into exile? It would be smart to follow this handsome man’s example and look inward. Reflect. Ask oneself a question like, “What am I bringing to the party that’s producing this exile?”
That was certainly a question I asked of myself after two marriages unraveled in similar fashion. It was certainly a question when another television job ended with a layoff. It was certainly a question when seemingly perfect partnerships in business don’t materialize as envisioned. Exile. A tough place to dwell.
The question becomes, “How will we handle being sent away?”
Admiration for a super sub, like the backup quarterback coming off the bench and leading the team to victory, continued to grow as he described how the exile from his wife ended with them reuniting and deciding after years of trying to conceive, to consider other options.
They became foster parents to two lovely young girls and quickly realized a desire to adopt. Things were progressing as planned. Optimism and joy, after so much time in exile, were overflowing. The couple’s hearts bursting with anticipation of, finally, parenthood!
Then came a scheduled custody appearance, where the biological parents have the right to appear and make a case why it might be wise to allow the children to return from where they fled. This was the third and final hurdle to clear. The woman who brought these children into this world had decided not to appear at the first two opportunities.
But she did this time.
“We were in shock. We were fearful again. It felt like exile all over again” said this man, with tears flowing abundantly, to the attentive gathering. “We had to leave the kids alone for three hours. We didn’t know what was going to happen.”
Once again, the latest exile bore great fruit. “The mother was just meeting with the kids to say goodbye and wish them the best.”
Exile is tough. We often want to give up and throw in the towel. Surrender.
Learn from a guy who stepped in for a simple dude from Missouri who was running late on a snowy Centennial State morning, keep the faith. Persevere in that exile. Return stronger than before.
Thank God I was late because nobody needed to hear this dude’s message, I later learned he’s an employee of DRM, more than the guy writing this Pep Talk. What a terrific tardiness that was.
Have a good week!

Pep Talk: "The Greatest Gift"

Anybody else out there raising a teenager? Please pardon the pun, but considering this Pep Talk is being written while zooming across the Atlantic at 35,000 feet after visiting the sights of Rome, including the Vatican, holy smokes.
It ain’t easy. A precious princess turns 17 years old. Beautiful. Mysterious. Athletic. Smart. Often irritated with her old man - me. It seems like yesterday when, as her father,  little fault was found in my performance. Not so anymore. “Dad, you are so weird!” is the common refrain heard these days when she even bothers to utter a word, let alone a phrase, in my direction.
“Things will get better,” I’m told by friends. “In about six or seven years.” Wow. I guess it’s important to remember, patience is a virtue. Despite her apparent disdain for my existence, I vow to continue to show up. “Be present and keep your mouth shut. Let her do the talking.” Two pearls of wisdom offered from men who have ventured down this path before me.
It seems like just yesterday, although it is now more than a decade, when a little ballerina was sitting in a comfy chair in my bedroom, reading a nighttime story before bedtime. I’ll never forget the moment for its cuteness and its reminder to a great lesson of life.
I can’t remember exactly how old the blue-eyed beauty was but it was a time when reading before bedtime was a mandate from school. It must have been kindergarten, first or second grade. Early in the educational process.
For many years, on the vanity in my master bath, there was a framed copy of Life’s Little Instructions. 55 reminders to mastering simplicities and their potential to have positive effects on this journey we call life. It can be a roller coaster for sure.
So as we each prepared, long ago, for evening slumber, darling daughter was sitting in comfy chair and rattling off things like, “Sing in the shower. Wave to kids on school buses. Call your mom. Never go to bed angry.” Short. Simple. Truthful.
While I was brushing my teeth and listening, she began to struggle with a phrase that included two words that began with “e” and “x”. Those can be confusing at that tender stage of reading development. “Live your life as an ex.........” not an “Ex.....”
She was stuck. I took the reading source and read it aloud: “Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation.” A bewildered look fell upon her face as she asked, “Dad, what does that mean?”
The question caught me off guard. I paused to ponder before offering, “Rach, I think this is reminding us that our actions will speak far louder than our words. I think this is reminding us to spend more time ‘doing’ rather than ‘saying’.”
As a jetliner races across the North Atlantic’s Labrador Sea and nears the northeast edge of North America, I reflect on a maturing daughter’s pending birthday. I hope and pray that she’ll never forget the truth, uttered in years past, of living life as an exclamation, not an explanation.
She couldn’t say it and didn’t understand it years ago. I hope she embraces it today.
At a time in life when things seem so complicated, I hope and pray she will find clarity. Being a kid these days is not easy. Tougher, at least in my opinion, by far than the days of my generation. God only knows what kind of trouble I might have found myself in the formative years with access to computers and mobile devices that allow instantaneous venting. We used to have to deal with issues and others face-to-face, write a letter or call another person’s home. Usually with a parent answering. Filters. Rarely a bad thing.
To all the other dads out there who feel distant from their teenage daughters, hang in there. We are being tested for sure. Let’s live our lives as an exclamation not an explanation. Despite the cold shoulder, let’s keep showing up. Let’s keep the faith that the grimaces we often see on our daughter’s faces upon our presence in the room someday turn to tolerance. Heck, someday even joy. You gotta dream, right?
Maturing kids, sprouting wings of independence and pushing our patience while stretching their limits.
Dads, keep showing up. Keep loving. Keep the faith and trust that former University of Colorado basketball coach Ricardo Patton was correct. Yep. Back in my sportscasting days I hosted the coach’s television show. Life as a college athletics’ coach is crazy. The pressure to win, keep kids out of trouble away from their sport and keep them focused on studies and staying eligible. There’s a lot going on.
When things would get dicey Patton would frequently pause, smile and suggest, “This too shall pass.”
When it comes to raising a teenage daughter and the feeling of watching from afar, I sure hope Patton’s words ring true. Let’s exclaim our existence by being present and always available to listen. At this stage in a young woman’s life, it might be the greatest gift we could offer.

Pep Talk: "No Donkeys Please"

“The Chinese New Year begins January 31st,” mentioned the messenger. “It’s the year of the Horse.”
That factoid was recently dropped into this simple dude from Missouri’s lap inside the small studio at KCNC-TV, CBS4 in Denver. A bunch of fun folks from Public Service Credit Union were gathered for what’s called Help Team 4. I host businesses’ segments on this show. The PSCU folks are a joy to work with, friendly.
Anyway, as we were waiting to tape a segment, one of the employees mentioned the equine fact. I asked the woman, “Who is your favorite horse?”
She smiled, pondered, then offered: “I don’t know.” 
I countered, “Well, you know, how about the great thoroughbred champion Secretariat? Or, maybe, the one and only talking horse, Mr. Ed?” That question drew another big grin. “I like the Budweiser horses. The Clydesdales.”
There ya go. This bud’s for you. We’re getting ready for the Chinese New Year, also called the Spring Festival. The history’s pretty interesting. Apparently a long time ago, a mythical beast would show up on the first day of the new year and devour everything in sight: vegetables, animals and human beings. The Chinese would put food on their porches in hopes the creature would spare them. Then one day, a small girl in a red coat scared the daylights out of the hideous monster. It ran. That’s why you see tons of red in what’s become a huge and important two-week celebration. Spook away the evil spirits.
Each year has a different animal name. There’s twelve. Can you name them? This year, it’s the horse’s turn. Wikipedia says the chosen animal has influence on everyone born during that year and exerts powerful influence upon unsuspecting infants.
Here they are: Rat. Ox. Tiger. Rabbit. Dragon. Snake. Horse. Goat. Monkey. Rooster. Dog. Pig.
This would be a decent year to be born. There’s about eight very unappealing one’s on that list. I’ll take the horse and be grateful. It could be worse. What do we admire in horses?
Plenty. Dang, we’ve learned in the last decades of their great value in working with children dealing with certain challenges on the autism spectrum. Horses have a wonderful calming effect on some kids. I’ve seen firsthand the magical connection that sometimes happens between a horse and a child. It’s cool and sometimes life changing. As a society, we would do well to emulate that spirit – a calming effect - on our frazzled kiddos. 
More kids stuff. A visitor to our Friday Platoon meeting of knuckleheads was talking about his ministry’s work in serving fatherless boys. There are tons of them out there these days. No dad in sight. Fathers of the Field stands in the gap for these kids. Men take boys hunting, fishing and other stuff - like fixing cars. “I’ll never forget the look on a kid’s face when he jumped into the cab of my truck,” said our guest. “He smiled and said, ‘Thanks for showing up!’” I have no idea, and don’t care, whether any of these guys volunteering for this agency are the next Secretariat, a Clydesdale or Mr. Ed. They’re all studs. Thanks for caring for kids.
The Victory Productions’ theme for this year is “Soar in One Four.” It’s 2014. Two. Zero. One. Four. Thus, the “SIOF” mantra. How about this as a rallying cry for each of us - man and woman? When it comes to caring for our kids, how about us, in trying to soar in one four, rallying around each other, committed to being studs and damn fine mares? Who’s in?
The taping at CBS4 was the greatest ever. Despite being just a few weeks from delivering a baby, PSCU spokeswoman Sarah Collins was flawless. I always joke with her that she’ll be in the guest Hall of Fame some day. She’s smart and gets it. We knocked out the taping in record time.
I don’t know if that was a good thing or not. It sure gave me lots of time to think about horses. I’ll quit boring you with this: No horsing around when it comes to coaching up the kids. Studs. Fine Mares. Take your pick. No donkeys. Please.
Have a great week!

Pep Talk: "Let 'Em Go!"

“Oh my gosh, what are you doing?”
Those were the simple, direct and, probably, bewildered words Claire Davis asked an 18-year-old male just seconds before the popular Arapahoe High School student was shot point-blank in the forehead inside the school. Critically wounded the senior, bound for Colorado State University, would cling to life for eight days before passing.
It’s what her father Michael said during an emotional memorial service before a capacity crowd that burrowed deep in my soul for its truth: “We can all realize Claire’s last words in our own lives, by asking ourselves, in those times when we are less than loving, ‘Gosh, what am I doing?’”
A grieving father, with tears streaming down his cheeks, continued to encourage those gathered at the Denver Coliseum to honor and remember a life senselessly ended, by forgiving the perpetrator.
“Unchecked anger and rage can lead to hatred, and unchecked hatred can lead to tragedy, blindness and loss of humanity. The last thing Desiree (mother) and I would want is to perpetuate this anger, rage and hatred in connection with Claire. Claire would also not want this.”
Wow.
It speaks powerfully about forgiveness. I know, simple, not easy. It does not mean a couple, family, friends and community will not always have a hole in their collective hearts for a beautiful young woman who loved life, others and riding horses to name just a few of Claire Davis’ wonderful qualities.
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. It means understanding that, as Mr. Davis so accurately described, allowing “anger, rage and hatred” to fester within us is not going to change the circumstances.
There are exceptions to every rule, but when has “anger, rage or hatred” ever worked, in healthy and productive fashion, for us? A good friend, long ago, unexpectedly lost his fiancee in tragic fashion. The former professional football player admits that he clung to anger and rage for a bit but finally realized, “It was eating away at my soul.”
I dunno, I’m just a simple dude from Missouri, take this for what it’s worth, but it seems like it takes far more energy to hold anger, rage and hatred within our minds, bodies and souls than just letting it go.
Every Thursday morning, in leading the chapel service for men living at the Denver Rescue Mission, we always talk about “being gentle, forgiving and never holding a grudge, especially against self. The guys will share a moment in life where another human being, or themselves, has committed an atrocious act that has, understandably, forever changed life and left them emotionally scarred. In unison, the group will encourage whomever has shared to, “Let it go!”
Where might it be time for you to just, finally, “Let it go?” Devoted readers of the weekly Pep Talk know I’ve been through two painful divorces and have a child from each marriage. While in the throes on dealing with divorce number two, during my days as a sportscaster at KCNC-TV in Denver, frequently the last commercial before I began telling the viewing audience what the heck was going on in the sports world would be promoting the company of the man who my former wife was dating and eventually married.
While settling into my chair, adjusting the microphone on my tie and placing the earpiece into the one good ear I possess, to block out the pain of hearing the commercial I would recite quietly in my mind, “Be gentle and forgiving, never hold a grudge......”
Let it go!
When the tough times hit, we’re going to have enough pain from sorrow, grief and self-doubt, why pile on with anger, rage and hatred? Nobody wins. More important, we suffer.
The road ahead for the Davis family is going to be quite challenging. I admire greatly the spirit a father and mother are displaying. It’s a wonderful way to honor their daughter and a great example for us. In all likelihood, few of us will ever experience such a traumatic and heinous moment in our lives.
Yes, we’ll have the “What the heck is going on around here?” moments. We know, life is a roller coaster. The Davis’ have given us wonderful tips for the dips.
To honor their daughter, what are we going to do? How about being gentle, forgiving and not holding a grudge? Refuse to allow anger, rage and hatred any chance to claim permanent residence in our lives.
Let ‘em go!

Pep Talk: "What Is Versus What Should Be"

A new year is approaching. 2014. Two. Zero. One. Four. What are the goals for the calendar flip? How can we, “Soar in one four?”
How can we muster the courage to stand between what is versus what should be? Here are three goals a simple dude from Missouri has for the near future. In advance, I ask for your encouragement, prayers and questions in holding me accountable.
First, on the home front, I need to lose ten pounds. Easier said than done. I have a sweet tooth that needs to be controlled. Also, I need to remember that I’m 55 years old, not 25. The metabolism is not what it used to be. Do I really need “thirds” of darling fiancee’s fabulous cooking? Probably not.
Second, when it comes to work, Seek Victory is launching a program designed to connect others willing to stand between what is versus what could be. It’s called TSVN, for The Seek Victory Network. Through videos, blogs, podcasts and live events, along with Associates of Seek Victory, it’s my mission to produce entertaining, inspiring and informative content designed to provoke conversation about faith, life and sports. Americans need to talk about faith, need to talk about life and love to talk about sports. We hope you find value in what’s offered in the coming year from this premium channel.
Third, when it comes to community, there are going to be many projects including one in my hometown of Raytown, Missouri. The town founded by William Ray back in the 1800’s, along what was then the Santa Fe trail, neighbors Kansas City to the west and Independence - home of former President Harry S. Truman - to the north. Seek Victory is working with the Raytown School District on an endeavor to re-ignite a community’s passion for youth sports.
Growing up there I benefited tremendously from a community’s commitment to caring for its kids, especially through a vibrant youth sports program. Behind Superintendent Dr. Allan Markley’s inspiring vision, and a growing list of supporters from all walks of life, Seek Victory will serve the superintendent in rallying the troops in trying to build a greater sense of community through organized youth sports. We ask for your encouragement as we stand between what is versus what should be.
What about you? Where can Seek Victory help you stand between what is versus what should be in becoming superior to your former self in 2014?
Like fingerprints, our individual goals in three critical venues - home, work and community - will vary. What doesn’t vary much, if at all, is how we go about achieving the goals.
Soar in One Four live presentations, in the usual humorous storytelling style of past Pep Talks, will focus on three strategies to achieve goals and overcome challenges in the new year. First, continue to push yourself to stretch beyond your perceived limits. To, as good buddy Dr. Jerry Gibson would suggest, “Stick your neck out!”
Second, understand the road toward success is not easy. Few worthwhile objectives are attained without pain and sacrifice. There will be bumps along the way. It will be a roller coaster. We must have a mindset that we’ll stay focused on problem solving. We’ll never lose the desire to turn lemons - the heck with lemonade - into sweet and savory margaritas!
Third, in the face of unwanted and unexpected obstacles we cannot surrender. We must fight to the finish. Easier said than done. There will be times, in our quest to stand between what is versus what should be to wanna shout to the heavens, “The hell with this!” Make that feeling quite temporary. Through strategic networking a team of supporters for the difficult moments. Those, “What the heck is going on around here?” moments will appear. Expect them. Prepare for them. Overcome them.
Remember, you’re not alone. You’re not the only one trying to quit smoking, lose weight, chase a professional dream, make a difference in your community, overcome cancer, alleviate stress, recover from relationship breakdown or whatever challenge lies before you. We must rally around each other. Encourage one another. Give others, as they give us in return, hope and confidence we can prevail against what ails.
Are you ready to soar in one four? Leap into the great unknown, keep the faith in the challenges times and fight to the finish?
Here comes 2014. Let’s join one another, Seek Victory is here to support all along the way, in connecting with others willing to stand between what is versus what should be - at home, work and community!

Pep Talk: "The Spirit of Christmas"

“Hey guys,” announced a man with a smile as wide as the Grand Canyon. “You’re off the hook!” So begins a wonderful Christmas story.
Like many compelling stories, this one springs from heinous tragedy.
About two years ago, in Parker, Colorado a husband and father made a terrible decision that ended in a murder-suicide in the parking lot of a fast food restaurant. Upset about a pending divorce, the man shot and killed his wife and then himself. The couple’s two daughters witnessed the horror.
The traumatized young girls were placed into Colorado’s foster care system, where they received adequate care. However, their plight began to stir the hearts of a family that had connections to the girls. The husband and father in this family is the guy who was beaming while announcing to your Pep Talk scribe and other knuckleheads gathered for our weekly Platoon meeting “We were off the hook.”
One of our buddy’s daughters had befriended one of the girls who had been orphaned from the tragic moment. The two young souls who lost their parents began spending lots of time at our buddy’s home.
Thus began a journey of prayer and lots of encouragement from many loved ones, including our group of men, for the couple to adopt the young girls - now budding teenagers - and bring them, permanently, into their loving and close-knit home.
Many challenges were present. How would adding two teenage girls potentially disrupt family harmony? What about the expense of going from five family members to seven? What about the house? It’s not the biggest place in the world, and expanding or remodeling would be costly and seemingly impossible considering the already stretched family budget.
There were many reasons to dismiss the adoption option, most of all, “It’s just not realistic.”
Well, what’s the ol’ saying, “God works in mysterious ways?” To me, what follows is the true meaning of Christmas. First, a little background information. 
Joy To The World has always been one of my favorite Christmas carols. In particular, early in the song when we sing, “Let every heart prepare him room…” It has always spoken to me that it’s our responsibility to prepare room in our hearts for others, and to care for them. For if we have that type of spirit, we will reap the harvest if we don’t give up.
A devoted wife and husband with three children of their own decide to adopt two grieving sisters -  prepare them room in home and heart. The family dynamics had certainly changed, but weekly in our gathering, this terrific man would report, “Things are going pretty well.”
Still, there were obstacles. The family had absorbed the newcomers with love and patience, but with four teenage girls now under roof, an additional bathroom and bedroom were desperately needed.
It’s a diverse group of men who meet each Friday morning to challenge one another to grow stronger in our faith. Many fancy ourselves as handymen with hammer, tool belt and saw. We offered to labor in working to transform a basement area into the much-needed addition.
We were poised to respond like a Navy SEAL team called to swing into action for a fellow warrior. Then came the pronouncement, “Guys, you’re off the hook!”
On a trip to Home Depot to get material cost estimates, the endearing story warmed the marrow of the sales associate. Word spread to a supervisor, and then to store management.
Then the gift arrived. Home Depot, without any prompting, decided to donate all necessary labor and materials to complete the project. “We like to give back to the community in this way,” said a company spokesperson. Admirable.
This week, let’s allow our hearts to prepare room for such miracles. It begins with us having love and compassion for one another. Those wonderful traits are gifts that will keep giving in healthy and productive ways wherever we roam - at home, work and elsewhere.
In this case, love and compassion for others resulted in a buddy receiving a professionally finished basement, free of charge. It also kept a bunch of amateur construction knuckleheads from probably screwing things up, despite their best intentions. Love and compassion led to reaping a great harvest that will help a wonderful couple care for their expanded family.
Let’s keep the spirit of Christmas alive too. Let’s prepare room in our hearts for others. Joy to the world!

Pep Talk: "Destroy Thy Enemies"

“Those guys outside are gonna f@*k me up!” the man shouted, his eyes ablaze.
We were locked in a tight embrace in the corner of a west Denver home. It wasn’t his, or mine. We were just inside the front door, in a corner. Just seconds before, along with a woman, I had escorted four beautiful kids from a weekly tutoring session at a neighborhood church to this humble two-story abode across the street.
We had just stepped inside the home to greet the parents and say goodnight to the kids when the mad man, high on some hallucinating drug and quite paranoid, burst in through the door. I just happened to be the last person to walk in and the first to encounter a young man convinced there were hostile men just outside the home.
He was troubled. “Lock all the doors!” he shouted. The parents quickly rushed their children upstairs and away from what had become an unexpected standoff inside their peaceful home on a busy Mile High City street at the peak of the afternoon rush hour.
The intruder, who looked to be in his mid 20s, was quite agitated as our unexpected encounter continued. I held tightly to his arms, pinned him in the corner and asked, “Who are you running from?”
“Those guys out there! Those guys out there!” No one was outside. The foes were all inside this young man’s head. I wondered if he possessed a knife or gun. Just in case, I kept him pinned in the corner with a firm grip on each arm.
We were like two wrestlers when they first exit their respective corners and meet in the middle of the ring. We clutched one another desperately.
And then, for some weird reason, I thought of Abraham Lincoln. Yep, a calming influence fell over me in thinking of some wise words muttered by America’s 16th president during the height of our nation’s Civil War, “Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?”
I tried to reassure the man that nobody present wanted to harm him, that he had scared the living daylights out of a family and its children, that people cared for him and that he had to leave. Most important, in trying to communicate in a calm manner and not get overly confrontational, I hoped the frightening moment would not escalate into something violent with children in the home.
I kept thinking of Lincoln’s words, which I had just read the night before. The book’s author was describing great leadership in trying times. During the battle between Union and Confederate troops, Lincoln had been heavily criticized for being too lenient with his enemies.
The police had been called but hadn’t arrived yet. A pastor from the church across the street had entered the home through a back door. He knew the instigator and also began to reason with him in a calm and reassuring voice. It helped lessen the fight in the man’s body and soul.
Finally, after about a ten-minute struggle, we were able to remove the man from the home. He was still freaking out and sprinted, against traffic, down the middle of the busy thoroughfare jammed with cars of folks exiting downtown Denver after a day at work. Police were in pursuit.
The family, the other tutor, the pastor and I stood outside the home and collectively offered thanks that the children, while certainly spooked, were safe. We could still see the man weaving through traffic with police officers hot on his trail.
While driving home I muttered another prayer of thanks that the man did not have a weapon and that our confrontation did not turn violent. I also prayed a troubled soul might find help and encouragement to prevail against what ails him.
I wish no type of similar standoff for anybody, but if there is strife in your life, with family, friend or foe, perhaps remembering Lincoln’s wise words might lead to a peaceful resolution: “Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?”
This week, I hope that type of mindset helps defuse a tense situation wherever you roam - at home, work or elsewhere.

Pep Talk: "Cease the Abuse and Cynicism"

“There are a lot of dishonest people in this country,” muttered a woman who appeared to loathe her job.
When describing her mood, grumpy would be kind.
She appeared to have many years of experience on the job. The diminutive human being rarely, if ever, made eye contact with me during our five minutes of engagement recently at a post office near my home.
I was in there mailing books to those who have purchased my latest tome, Life Is A Roller Coaster: Tips For The Dips. Being curious by nature, I had inquired with the postal employee why the automated system, in the facility’s foyer, would not allow “Media Mail” transactions.
“It’s not programmed to allow that.” Okay. Well, one thing among many that has stuck with me since my graduate-school years at the University of Missouri’s School of Journalism, was this: “Don’t state the obvious.”
This woman was stating the obvious. I already knew from personal experience that the automatic system does not allow “Media Mail” purchases. I was curious. “Why?” I asked.
“There’s a ton of people who abuse the system,” she offered without looking up from calculating what I owed for postage. “It’s the cheapest way to send mail.”
Well, since the beginning of mankind, we’ve had folks trying to milk the system, haven’t we? Authors and others who send books and other educational stuff, well, you’re just gonna have to stand in line at the post office and not use the automatic system. Life sucks sometimes, doesn’t it? While standing there contemplating her comment, I queried, “Why did they come up with the ‘Media Mail’ category anyway?” It was apparent my inquiry was an irritant. She reminded me of my teenage daughter and her disdain for my probing questions. I know better but couldn’t resist.
What the woman said next bore deep into my marrow on a chilly morning a few days before Thanksgiving in the Mile High City. “We’ve offered it for a long time. I guess it’s to encourage people to read and learn.”
Amen to that, sister.
The exchange of ideas, a foundation to learning, is rarely a bad thing, right?
The abuse of a system - home, work and elsewhere - is rarely a good thing, right?
The woman’s “There are a lot of dishonest people in this country,” kept ringing in my ears. She had also added, “And they come in here.”
The US Postal Service is a financial disaster right now. It’s tough to find folks with an upbeat spirit behind those counters. Most are probably wondering, “Will I have a job in the future?” This employee should consider pondering retirement if financially reasonable. It appears she’s stayed too long.
But the point is this: It’s another once-proud American institution (“Rain, sleet or snow, nothing stops the US Mail”) that has fallen on hard times. For the record, I love my neighborhood postman. We always talk sports when our paths cross.
Contact with a disgruntled employee led to me discovering her distrust of people, a system being abused, and customers like the scribe of this Pep Talk walking away from the encounter believing, “There has to be a better way.”
It ain’t gonna happen unless people quit abusing the system, and others quit being so cynical about the nature of mankind. Which comes first? It’s the ol’ “chicken and the egg” scenario. Which needs to be the initial spark to prevail against what ails us?
Do we need to cease being so cynical or quit being so abusive in dealing with whatever challenges lie before us? The challenge might be bringing the nation’s postal service out of its billion-dollar yearly losses, stopping the stench bellowing from school district board elections being overpowered and swayed by outside money, and/or the myriad of other calamities we face in our communities around the nation.
Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, children of all ages, it is time to become superior to our former selves. Anybody else out there tired of America underachieving on our watch?
I know the answer is a resounding YES! Let’s not lose hope. As it states often within the pages of Life Is A Roller Coaster, let’s become students, not victims, of life’s experiences. Let’s stay united and willing to prevail against what ails – at home, work and elsewhere.
It’s time to cease the abuse and cynicism. It’s terribly ineffective and leads to unpleasant interactions at the post office and wherever else we roam.
Admittedly, it was in a sarcastic manner, but I offered to the lady, “Have a nice day.” She never looked up and didn’t reply. On the bright side, her blue hair was styled nicely.