Hart Johnson's Blog, page 42

Giraffes, Graffiti and Gae's Gravity

Giraffes are Groovy



I love the giraffe exhibit at the Portland zoo because it is sort of down in a bowl, so you are really close to their heads... they have such fabulous faces, in addition to their long necks...



When I was a kid I went to a circus and got to feed a giraffe a peanut—their tongues are ROUGH like cat tongues, only HUGE... very strange feeling.







Graffiti



While this middle section is SUPPOSED to be an AMUSEMENT, today I am doing more of a GRIPE. You see, I've had the unfortunate experience of learning a lot about graffiti culture recently... Might be I know somebody who got busted...



Apparently the unreadable word things are 'tags', and if you like somebody's tag, then you tag NEAR it, but never over the top, as that is a sign of disrespect. People who tag together are a crew. And I'm mad at them. GRRRRRRR



In actuality, I LOVE wall murals—if somebody creates something of beauty, I really love it, even if they really weren't supposed to. But this tagging stuff to me just seems like dogs peeing on stuff to mark the territory.



And I wish I had NOT had the occasion to learn any of this.







Gae's Gravity: The Pull of Gravity by Gae Polisner



I've read and reviewed this—FABULOUS book for the younger teen or tween in your life... It came out in paperback relatively recently, and Gae is living the dream as they work on a movie script for it.



Blurb from Amazon: 



While Nick Gardner’s family is falling apart, his best friend, Scooter, is dying from a freak disease. The Scoot’s final wish is that Nick and their quirky classmate, Jaycee Amato, deliver a prized first-edition copy of Of Mice and Men to the Scoot’s father. There’s just one problem: the Scoot’s father walked out years ago and hasn’t been heard from since. So, guided by Steinbeck’s life lessons, and with only the vaguest of plans, Nick and Jaycee set off to find him.



Characters you’ll want to become friends with and a narrative voice that sparkles with wit make this a truly original coming-of-age story.

Flamingos, F-Words, Freivald and Fielder

[Theme for A to Z: An animal, an amusement, and an author]  And posting fail... thought I scheduled it for THIS MORNING, but it had a PM on it, so here it is...





Flamingos



You know... there just aren't enough pink animals. Seriously. I mean can you name another? I understand flamingos are pink because they mostly eat shrimp... not a bad diet. I've never seen one in the wild, but I love the flamingos at the San Diego zoo.





A Bunch of F-Words. And by that, I mean Fitness, Fat, Fiber, Fishoil...



If you are just dropping by, as opposed to being a regular around here, you may not know, but I started doing Weight Watchers at the beginning of the year. I've lost 24 pounds, as of my 13 week weigh-in, so making progress. I'm walking a lot, but still haven't managed to make myself do more weights or stretching in—so spank me. But I am doing the things I HAVE to apparently.





Funny thing, though—I noticed a while back that my back and joints hadn't been hurting as bad—this was BEFORE the weigh loss efforts... but not that I'm at it again, they HURT again... which seemed fishy to me, so I googled... Turns out it's NOT fishy, it is the opposite of that... it is Unfishy. As in the lack of fat in my diet is causing my poor unlubricated joints to ache and the SOLUTION is a fish oil supplement. I'm also trying to include some good fats as part of my points: nuts, olives, avocado, fish. I think it's working, but not great, but I don't know if the not great is really just a comment on my inability to remember to take the darned supplement. ANYWAY, my Couch to Keg team is ALSO gearing up to add a little more UMPH now that we won't get frostbite doing it.



Any of you working of fitness projects?







Freivald and Fielder



These boys are two of my ABNA buddies, great guys, both, and both have a couple books I could choose, so I thought I'd pick one from each and share with you a blurb...





Twice Shy by Patrick Freivald



High School Sucks. It's worse when you're dead.



Ohneka Falls is a small, Western New York town where everyone knows everyone and nothing of note happens. Ani Romero is a sixteen-year-old girl who wants to play sports, hang out, and kiss Mike, her middle-school crush. A childhood carrier of the zombie virus, she died at fourteen but didn't become a mindless, brain-eating monster. Her controlling mother forces her to join the emo crowd to hide her condition behind a wall of black clothes and makeup, and her friends abandon her.



When creeper Dylan learns her secret, he falls into obsession, with Ani and with death. She bites him in self-defense. Persecuted by the jocks and ignored by Mike, Ani struggles through the motions of life hoping her mother's research unveils a cure, or Dylan dooms them all to a hungry, walking death.



As her emo facade crumbles in the face of jealousy and obsession, Ani knows that the worst thing she can do is be true to herself.







Voices in the Field by J. Allen Fielder 



"Voices in the Field" is a collection of short stories by J. Allen Fielder. Titles include previously published and unpublished short stories, from the eponymous "Voices in the Field," to the humorously creepy "Mom's Eye View," these stories were written to thrill, chill, and make the reader wonder "What the hell is wrong with this guy?" Other titles include "Liquid," "Truck Stop Love," and "Homemade Pie." Stories range from horror, to mystery, to children's . . . and various points in between.

Elephants, Entendre and Elizabeth

Los Elefantes son Fantasticos!





*cough* My Spanish is mostly all mangly, so pardon, but I do love elephants. They are the FAVORITE of one of my twins (Thursday twin, Natasha) They are the biggest land animal in the world, but are still SO DARNED CUTE!



This little darling is the latest baby girl elephant at the Portland zoo, and of all the things, I remember when her mama, Rose-tu was born. Portland's zoo has the most successful elephant husbandry program in the country and this may be part of my love for them—when I lived there, every few years there was a new baby elephant to fall in love with and watch grow.





Entendré Entendré...



erm... or double entendré... Not sure that a single entendré means anything but 'meaning'... I LOVE words... and I love when the SAME words can take on double meaning. I find this a clever device in writing, and I ADORE it in humor... especially if one of the word uses in dirty... cuz you know... my friends and I really like the gutter best.



I try to always have my book titles have double meanings. In fact I am nearly never happy with them if they don't. My current WiP Is ENDANGERED (see, that's an e-word), and the double meaning is that it is teens in the midst of civil war (so they're in danger) and they decide to become Mountain Guerillas (guerilla being the Spanish word for warrior, and Mountain Gorillas are endangered)--It's probably too clever by half and nobody will get it without me explaining, which really takes away the point, but there you have it.





Exquisite Elizabeth (Spann Craig)



I haven't waxed poetic about Elizabeth in a while, but really she deserves it. When I first began blogging, I decided to find somebody doing it right and try to emulate THEM. I stumble upon Elizabeth, and shamelessly began stalking her and she totally WAS doing everything right. She is STILL doing everything right.





She ALSO is the person who led me into cozy mystery and gave me TONS of tips and links for writing the things (which led to my contract. She's had a few traditionally published series that have done really well, but her first series had gone out of print, and through re-obtaining her rights and self-publishing those, then continuing the series, she learned that she could do THAT well, too, so she has a couple of each... here is one just released.







And one coming this summer under the pen name Riley Adams:



There are oodles more listed at her website, so you should check her out.



Or visit her blog.

Dolphins, Digression, and Delirium

Though as an animagus, this would ROCK...

Delightful Dolphins



Back in my Harry Potter days when we used to discuss things in all seriousness, like what our Patroni (patronuses?) would be, or what animal we would change to if we were to be animagi, I frequently came to the Dolphin. Now admittedly, a dolphin would be a far more helpful Patronus than an animagus form... animagi being the animal you CHANGE INTO, and dolphins needing sea water... but as a Patronus, I think it's quite fitting. You see, I am a waterbaby and so having a waterborne protector... especially an animal so inclined to actually... you know PLAY PROTECTOR... well I fell in love with that idea... So I present to you, the dolphin...





Look how HAPPY they are!







Digressing...



If you're new around here, you may not know I look at Digression as religion... it is something that if I fail to attend to, I suddenly feel much less MYSELF. I have a Digressionista who is my spiritual guide... she is obsessed with giraffes. As for me, I typically am a llama girl, myself, but I've been known to digress in very diverse ways... Misattributing (my superpower) is a part of it, as is nakedness... hard to be obsessively focused if you're naked annallat... So if you are ever completely confused as to what I am trying to do here, with this blog... it might help to keep this in mind.



And it really wouldn't go amiss, since it is Naked Thursday, to urge all of you to consider the Naked World DOMINATION Movement... It is a future where we are all comfortable and nice because we are naked. *nods*









Delirium



I featured Susan Kaye Quinn recently with her new serial released Debt Collector series, but SINCE THEN, have managed to WIN IT!!! I'm very excited... I am jumping it ahead in my TBR pile (which is HUGE) so maybe at about Q I can give you a review... but for NOW... I will just shout YAY Delirium!!!





Don't forget to get around to the other A to Z bloggers!

Chinchilla, Cthulu & Carol's Compass

[Recall the theme, if you will: an animal, an amusement and an author/book]







Chinchillas



I had a tough time here... I'm really a cat person. But I find Chinchillas fascinating. My best friend housesat one once... she thought it was sick, as it just sat there all day... then her dad came to stay for the weekend... in the chinchilla's room... and she learned they really are just nocturnal...



They are the size of a smallish rabbit, and SUPER soft like that, but with curly tails and mousy ears...





Cthulu



Oh scary monster, how I love you... especially when somebody makes mockery of your badassness and turns you into a cute little thing...



I am a huge fan of HP Lovecraft... not his writing so much—he reads like a clinician—but his imagination was FABULOUS. He is the granddaddy of modern horror and one of his most frightening creations is the great sea monster... head of a squid, but with a man-like torso, claws and wings. EEEEEEEK!





source



But then I really love this version even better...







Or this...







It's just the way I roll... delicious contradictions...





And FINALLY... Yesterday was a special book release, but I'm talking about it TODAY, because Both CAROL and COMPASS start with C!!! I read Carol's first book, IN NAME ONLY, and it was fabulous, I look forward to this one!





SOLOMAN'S COMPASS by Carol Kilgore






Full Blurb and Bio




A missing belt—her uncle’s prized possession. The lure of buried treasure. And a sexy former SEAL who makes U.S. Coast Guard Commander Taylor Campbell crazy. What more could any woman want. Right?




Taylor is in Rock Harbor, Texas, on a quest to unearth her uncle’s treasure—a journey far outside the realm of her real life. There’s one glitch. Taylor's certain the buried treasure was all in Uncle Randy's dementia-riddled mind. Now he’s dead.




Former SEAL Jake Solomon is in Rock Harbor under false pretenses to protect Taylor from the fate that befell her uncle and the other members of a tight circle of Coast Guardsmen called the Compass Points who served together on Point boats in Vietnam.




Jake is definitely not supposed to become involved with Taylor. That was his first mistake. Taylor is attracted to Jake as well, but she refuses to wait for him to locate the killer when she knows her plan will force her uncle’s murderer into action.




But the killer's actions are just what Jake is afraid of.




SOLOMON’S COMPASS is available at Amazon in paperback and Kindle.







 

Carol writes a blend of mystery, suspense, and romance she calls Crime Fiction with a Kiss. Always at least one crime; always a love story. You can find her here:

blog . website . facebook . twitter . goodreads . amazon

Booby, Butts & Bribery

Erm... I promise I really keep it PG around here...







Blue-footed Booby



Bee-bopping along... Isn't he a handsome fellow?



















Butts Bring BUWAHAHAS! (A piece of trivia and some lovely pictures)



Yes. Butts amuse me.



Did you know that hearts aren't shaped like hearts? Hearts were originally shaped that way because some butt-obsessed man noted the shape of a lady when she bent over. Seriously. So see... I may be a little bottom-obsessed, but I'm not the only one.





Oh, lovely butt...





Oh, service with a smile...





Oh, Nathan, how do I love thee...







Begonia Bribe



Pardon while I take a day to promote MY upcoming book by sending you instead to my BUDDIES who are promoting my upcoming book. THANK YOU, FRIENDS!!!  Please go visit the following blogs!



Alex Cavanaugh

Helena Soister

Mary Pax (but not until Thursday)

Jan Morrison

Sarah Ahiers

Diana Wilder

J. Welling

Tara Smith

Luanne Smith

Al Diaz

Heather Gardener



I'd love it if you'd go show them some love!!!

Anteater, Apocalypse and Angels!!!

WELCOME to anyone who's never been here, and Welcome BACK to anyone who HAS! My theme this month is simple: An animal, an amusement, and an author (or book) for each letter... I will try to keep it short and sweet. For reference, this blog is WRITING and HUMOR for the most part. And though I love nakedness, I keep it PG.  And be sure to check out the OTHER A to Zers!







Anteater



I love giant anteaters... they are strange and beautiful, and just LOOK—the baby rides on mama's back! How cute is that? I've been to a fair few zoos over the years, and the only zoo I've been to that has one is the Detroit zoo. *huggles anteater*







Apocalypse LOVE





I know... who's amused by an apocalypse? ME! That's who!!! I have always loved movies, TV shows, or books about the BIG END... or rather... the people who have to survive it... I think the set-up brings out the best and worst in people and it makes for AMAZING drama! I'm even in process of writing my second book of this sort. Here is a list of just a few that I love:



Tomorrow When the War Began, by John Marsden (7 book series)

The Stand by Stephen King

Road Warrior (movie, back before Mel Gibson was annoying)

I am Legend (movie)

War of the Worlds by HG Wells

Survivors (BBC Series, two seasons)

Jericho (CBS Series, two seasons)



[Also love Alice in Chains and Aerosmith *nods*]





And ANGELS!!!



I'm featuring my buddy Stacy today, who's NOT an angel, but she just had her fourth book in her series accepted—two of these are out and the third comes out in May, so I am blurbing you on the three you can get at!





Nobody's Angel



Investigative journalist Kendall Glynn is horrified when a friend and colleague signs off permanently during a live newscast, jabbing a pen into his jugular. Kendall's no expert, but judging by the strange white veil in the anchorman's eyes, she would swear he was a man possessed.



A descendant of the accursed Nephilim, Zeke Reece prowls San Francisco by night, keeping the city free from paranormal phenomena. But even he is no match for whatever malevolent force is behind a recent rash of murder-suicides. And when a beautiful and tenacious reporter becomes the next target, Zeke has no choice but to stay close to her, until he can find the evil spirit and cross it over.



The closer Kendall gets to the truth, the more danger she's in. Fortunately, a sexy and mysterious masked stranger keeps swooping in to the rescue. Kendall's life depends on finding who or what is responsible for the killings, before it finds her.







Savage Angel



Feel nothing. Sara Savitch's personal mantra has been hard to live by ever since her torrid one-night stand with army doctor Gideon Mandeville. Descended from the Seraphim, angels known as heaven's soldiers, Sara may be an expert fighter, but she's an amateur when it comes to relationships.



Physically unharmed, but still battle-scarred, Gideon has returned to Dallas in the hopes of regaining his faith in humanity—and in himself. Instead he's walked into a nightmare. His father is on a serial killer's hit list, and has hired a personal bodyguard—the very woman who has haunted Gideon's dreams for a year.







Wounded Angel (coming May 27)



A descendant of the Angel of Vengeance, Nate da Luca was gifted with an uncanny ability to find things. It made his job as a detective a breeze—until he learned the hard way that some things should remain hidden. After that, his powers vanished, along with his belief in himself. Which is going to make tracking down Gabriella Littlefield for his latest client a challenge.



Personal trainer Ella Little paid a hefty price for her life—now all she wants is to live it in peace. Then a sexy hulk of a man turns up in her gym, reigniting desires she thought she'd left behind along with her real name and hair color.



Desires she can't deny even after she discovers Nate's no stranger to her dark past.



Before he can convince her the attraction is mutual, Nate's going to have to earn Ella's trust. But a demon is playing for keeps in the world of humans, using Ella as bait, and the last thing they have is time…

To Do To Do To Dum...

So I am meant to be finishing a book this month...



I'm calling it Endangered. It's a bout a group of teens who, when America is invaded, end up acting as sort of mountain guerillas. (get it? Mountain Gorillas are endangered)



I will get there...



I am THEN meant to edit a book. (What Ales Me)

And another book. (Medium Wrong)

And a third book. (Kahlotus Disposal Site)



That's a lot of books to edit. I'd like to have all that editing done by June... *sigh *





And then MONDAY starts Blogging A to Z... Here is my plan...



Animal, Amusement, and Awesomeness: whereby I share a fabulous animal I love that starts with that letter, something that really AMUSES me that starts with that letter, and an Awesome Author or Book that starts (or importantly includes) that letter. Keeping each thing shortish, so people can get around a lot, but hopefully the variety will also mean there is something for everyone...



So today I'm just sharing some Easter sillies...



The bad news is...





If you were looking for the Easter Bunny Convention, it was LAST weekend (in Seattle)



Say it with me... AWWWWWWWW!





Who's a happy boy!?





It could definitely be worse...















And for any of you parents with a sense of humor... (though of course it is a day off... still, though, good idea!)









Little Bunny Foo Foo's Remorse













And I think that is it for me this week...  See you all for A to Z! And have a great Easter (and give March an extra swift kick for me, yeah?)

Sucked In AGAIN, and SO JEALOUS

Know how it's all confessions all the time around here? Well here goes.



I wasted my entire weekend...

reading fan forums of theories predicting the sixth and seventh books...

parsing apart scenes (or more accurately, watching the experts do it)







Art by Kinky-ChiChi

And you see... I've done this BEFORE... Between Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and the release of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, I kept THINKING about those darned books I loved and my BRAIN went into overdrive and I kept coming up with THEORIES about where the stories would go...



And it drove me online to find a community of like-minded people to talk about it with...



They were wonderful people. I STILL love those people. They got me writing. They got me laughing. I'm sure you can see what a mopey, depressed person I normally am *shifty*  But seriously, it SUITS me to get into really deep discussions over less deep things (like books). I love to THINK, but I don't want to be all sad about it when I'm done... and If I meet a couple simpaticos, well, heck, that's even better. We were silly and had fun, but it really was THRILLING to parse apart books and see how REALLY WELL DONE they actually WERE...







Jon Snow/Daenerys Targarian/??Ned Stark?? source

So now... eight years later (also MARCH, by the way—that gives me some pause), between the fifth and sixth book, I've fallen in love with another world... this one, the one of WESTEROS, where the politics, character complexity and plotting brought me in, but it is the brilliance of the writing complexity that has driven me to talk to people.



You see... in anticipation of the start of season 3 on HBO, I decided to RE-read. And I loved the plot and had some predictions the first time, but the SECOND time, I am spotting all the foreshadowing and hints, and it makes me want to guess farther ahead than there are books yet available...





And THAT caused me to FIND all this stuff written by others of the THEMATIC stuff, and the SYMBOLISM, and the stuff drawn from MYTHOLOGY, and *gasp * (only my Harry Potter peeps will get why I had to gasp there) the ELEMENTS associated with the Stark children!!! The PARALLELS between Daenerys Targarian and Jon Snow. OHMYGAWD, I'M IN HEAVEN!!!





But You Know What is Depressing?



I can't look at myself and my writing and think I will EVER achieve this level of brilliance. It is humbling to the Nth degree. Yet this is what I CRAVE. I want to be AMAZING like this!!!





Anybody else get thoroughly immersed in a fandom?

Have fantasies of people getting immersed in YOURS?



Anybody looking for all this stuff for A Song of Fire and Ice, I've been at Westeros.org. They have forums for people on the first time read through and forums for re-readers. (and forums that look like they are for the SHOW) (I called myself Snark_Tamer)



And I know NOTHING. Just like Jon Snow. It doesn't feel as 'communityish' as my Harry Potter days, but it is definitely satisfying for the part of me that just loves to be buried in a book world.

Boys, Girls, Rape and Personhood

Some things make me hostile. Forgive me a brief rant today, but sometimes I need to get some stuff off my chest. I will be back to my usual shenanigans next week.



You've surely ALL heard the asshattery related to the Steubenville high school boys who raped the girl at the party... she was passed out, which they took for consent... They shared pictures of her naked online...





Found guilty! Justice is done!



But wait, boo hoo, look at all this lost potential! They were promising ATHLETES *cough* SEVERAL news stations fell into this pattern. Seriously?



Okay, maybe. I will give them that. There IS a lot of lost potential. These boys have a permanent black mark and some jail time, WHICH THEY EARNED. There is lost potential, but THEY lost it. There was nobody forcing them to rape that poor girl. They had not only a STUPID lapse of judgment (which teens sometimes have) but also a complete FAILURE at socialization. So these poor boys WERE disserviced... by their parents, their community, and our society. These boys have badly failed morals and that is only partially on them.



We live in a society where Kobe Bryant gets away with rape. Where OJ Simpson gets away with murder. Where rapists have shorter sentences than people who use drugs. Where congress dawdles MONTHS before passing the Violence Against Women Act because a huge group of elected officials don't recognize women as PEOPLE.



But you know whose fault these boys' lack of moral character is NOT?



 The girl who was raped. And any failure to acknowledge the DAMAGE these selfish little pricks did for WHATEVER reason they think they did it is missing the point. SHAME on the reporters. Shame on ANYBODY who felt sorry for these boys without giving a much LARGER dose of sympathy to the girl who did nothing wrong--who was VIOLATED AGAINST HER WILL.





This week I've seen articles on college women EXPELLED (or threatened with expulsion) for going after the men who rape them on campus, (oh, no, it brings shame to our poor campus) while the men continue to matriculate. Say WHAT? The SHAME is that you have RAPISTS walking around and nobody is safe.



Folks, we are DOING THIS WRONG.



I saw a joking tweet that was very funny, but sadly I hold no hope for it. After Senator Portman came out in favor of gay marriage (in support of his gay son—YAY, Senator!):

“Eventually one of these Republican congressmen is going to find out his daughter is a woman, and then we're all set.”

I wish I believed that would actually wake them up. But unless they realize their daughter is not only a woman but a PERSON, it probably won't get there.



Sadly, though, that brings me to another point I saw yesterday, which is valid. I haven't had a heaping dose of feminism in a long time and I needed it. People pull out the argument 'how would you like it if this were your daughter/sister/wife/mother?' And nobody would. But to frame it this way makes it so a woman's only value is because of her relationship to OTHERS (meaning men). Women are PEOPLE in their own right. NO PERSON deserves this treatment. Ever. I can give a pass to daughters because I can add sons and know I'd feel exactly the same—everybody has parents and parents can (and should) feel protective of their offspring. But our language needs to change around ALL of this.







We should not be telling girls how to avoid rape. We should be teaching our SONS:



Don't rape.





Here is why. A brave friend of mine shared this yesterday, a woman who is a rape survivor:

“Do you know the effects of rape on a female mind? Nothing can cleanse the pain and regret of the situation. Are you internally scared for the rest of your life. Every relationship you will ever have is affected by this incident. An innocent girl dies when she is violated sexually in any way.”

Affects every relationship she EVER has. That's huge. These boys did this to her. Poo on them and their poor prospects being branded as rapists. They deserve that and so much more. Castration has a ring to it. Seriously.





We should also be teaching ALL OUR CHILDREN:

*   If you SEE a rape (or a situation that seems to be going that way), intervene (get help, if you don't feel physically able to do it yourself)



*   Don't leave your friends alone if they've been drinking. In fact don't leave them alone at all.



*   If you notice ANYONE 'out of it' ANYWHERE, designate yourself protector. Keep an eye on them.

If people feel responsible for the SAFETY of others, they are less likely to perpetuate any crimes against people—they've been given a responsibility, and to do the opposite become antithetical. And as a perk people will be less likely to be in that situation because more eyes will be looking out for more people.



Yes. I've had this talk with my kids (one girl, one boy), but it might be time to revisit it.