Hart Johnson's Blog, page 21

A Crisis of Identity

Halo, fine people! Welcome to First Wednesday and the Insecure Writer's Support Group!





I am feeling particularly insecure this month, so the timing is good.



My regular readers will know because I announced in my Monday Whiny Baby Blog, but for anyone who missed it, my agent fired me.



Okay. Fired is sort of too strong.



She doesn't want What Ales Me though, and doesn't think she's the agent for me. And I'd been so sure What Ales Me was very close to publishing ready, which means I don't know what the heck I'm doing. I am producing dreck and I feel useless.







Tara, Jess, Leanne, Me (front to back)

Thank goodness for Leanne.





I have a writer friend who has been with me from the beginning—she has read everything I've ever done and has edited for me as well as providing good feedback, so when I got the disheartening email from Ellen, I forwarded it to Leanne and asked for honest feedback.





There WERE problems...



Now while this isn't the news I wanted... I WANTED her to say “Oh, that agent doesn't know what she's talking about”... It was the news I needed. And it was accompanied by (*wipes brow*) some of my STRENGTHS as a writer.



I plot well.

My ideas are unique and strong.





What was problematic...



My actual language is pretty utilitarian (I know this—have actually sort of prided myself on my language not getting in the way of the story, but I have perhaps gone too far)



And she suggested that I am over-editing—losing my voice, which USED TO be one of my strengths, but she didn't really see it in this and has previously seen it in stuff that gets too many passes.





She suggests I read more in my TRADITIONALLY PUBLISHED genre. No offense to self-pubbing or pre-published, but I need to know what the bench marks are for good current work.



And that I maybe slow down a bit so not so many rounds of editing are needed and more of my original voice is retained.



My own addition... I think I may need to DIAGRAM my mysteries (the ones I do this for work out best) and have more plot points on my timeline. I ALSO think I need to do more longhand—those scenes are always best, so I really need more of them.





Here is to the light at the end of the tunnel. I was feeling pretty lost there for a while, but now I feel a spark of hope. I don't suck. I just picked up some bad habits...



For all of you... find someone who both LOVES you and your writing (and gets what you are trying to do) AND can be objective and tell you hard truths.



Now you should go support some OTHER writers... (link at the top)

The Watery Tart and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Month

I have never been so relieved to have a month over. Seriously. Mercury is still in retrograde until the 11th, but I am seriously hoping my issues were with January. And here is hoping this will be my last whiny baby blog for a while...







My Boss is being replaced at work. I LOVE her and have worked with her a long time, but the administration at the hospital has changed and I believe [redacted because my real opinions would probably get me fired]. It has shaken me up and caused my workplace to feel hostile, even if I still believe very strongly in our mission and care a great deal about the coworkers left (though there is some broken trust I will need to get over).



So my worklife is messed up.





ABNA is gone, which is a blow to my writing routine. But worse...





My agent and I have had a parting of ways. She doesn't want to represent What Ales Me and hasn't been excited about the stuff she's seen post Garden Society stuff... I have been feeling for a while like she doesn't quite get me, but I get attached to people. I stick with relationships even when they maybe aren't ideal because loyalty and permanence are part of my core, so probably this is for the best.



But it feels really scary to be dangling out here agentless again... I will go into this bit more on Wednesday, as that is what Insecure Writer's Support Group is all about, but suffice it to say my writing confidence is totally shaken. I am meant to be editing, but I have lost all confidence that I know how to make something better—I keep getting the idea that my editing makes stuff worse. And MAYBE it is because I haven't found the right “professional” to give me feedback—my FRIENDS who give me feedback seem to improve it... but the pro feedback I've gotten I think maybe sends me off into “try too hard” range and it adds an element of not quite fitting... I need an agent or content editor who really gets me, but I am not in a position to pay for that right now, which means I need to get SOMETHING close enough for an agent to love me.



So my writing life is a mess.







And Remember the Cleanse?



The work shake up largely threw me off, but it wasn't doing huge leaps and strides. I've decided I maybe need some professional help because I am of an age where my hormones may be throwing me a wonky-do, if you know what I mean. I keep reading all these tricks, and I am going to try a few of them (need to eat so the body becomes more alkaline, do super-doses of vitamin D, eat so my body doesn't horde estrogen... really? Does every woman have to do all this crap?



On top of that, on my way home Thursday it was slick, but what I was THINKING about was trying to take advantage of a rare break in traffic on Stadium (where there is no crosswalk) so I stepped to go and slipped, landing hard on my knee. Finally, three days later, the upper part is no longer numb, but around the bottom and inside it is very purple.



So the health issues are fun *rolls eyes*

Facing an Overdone Manuscript

I'm a day late on this... erm... sorry about that.



I am facing an edit on something that has been edited too many times already... there are things I wish I'd never done than need undoing, but also things I did that desperately NEED doing, so going through side by side copies is a little rough. Not only that, but there are a few NEW things I really feel like I need to work in (query sent last Friday notwithstanding).



So what are the BIG things?







Point of View



I wrote this originally in 3rd person (3 points of view) then for the ABNA changed ONE of those to first person (my main character, the ghost, Helen). Then my agent thought I should just stick to ONE PoV.



On rereading... I don't like it in first person. This rose out of a debate I ran into on a NaNoWriMo discussion thread on Facebook... and my OWN freaking answer of all the dumb things:

“Depends: is this a character who would narrate their own story?”



Look at that. Aren't I smart?



The trouble is HELEN IS NOT. She is timid like crazy—disoriented when she has to face the world as it is in 2012 compared to the one she died in in1962... She would not be TELLING her story in so direct away. Never mind that most YA is first person. It doesn't work for Helen.







Everyone has a different part of the story

The OTHER Points of View



Allan is a teacher. I GET why I was advised to drop him, though I am going to have to read carefully because I think there is a lot of information that is much clunkier, but no less necessary to the story, if HE isn't there to learn stuff.



Serena on the other hand... she is arguable the best part of my ABNA version... dropping her was a mistake. I am NOT going to stick to one PoV. So there. I will have to think about Allan. But Serena is in... and I'm thinking I may add the PoV of one of the bad guys. A lot of work, but I think getting some scenes from a bully would be interesting. Also... when Serena was in the first time, she could SEE Helen... later versions she could NOT... I think THIS change was good, so I can't just add her scenes back in. I will need to rewrite.





Big Subplot Clarity



I have some illegal clinical trials going on here... but I think the book needs another iteration of me clarifying this for YA language, rather than “works in research” language. I think it may go over some heads. Though this was on an earlier list, so maybe I got it... I haven't faced this book since 2012.





My BIGGEST Thing though...



I really need to give Helen a bit more spark, and unlike MOST of my MCs, humor is a pretty small part of it. She is dead, timid, and living in a home for juvenile delinquents... The humor a tougher or more cynical character might find in the situation is not hers. But timid, on its own, isn't all that compelling. I need to find her point of connection. I think maybe it's her humanity, in spite of being dead and all... but how do I make the reader feel that?







How about you guys? You ever face a book after YEARS? One that had had MANY iterations? (the latest on this says 12). Any tricks you want to share? Successes? Lessons learned?

A Teary Good-bye: RIP ABNA

So Monday afternoon I got news that for me was very very sad.





I've entered the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest five times. I expected it to be an annual event for a very long time, but sadly, Amazon has another bright shiny idea that they are allowing to take its place.



And it is not UN-shiny... they have something called Kindle Scout where readers get to nominate and vote on pre-published books based on their descriptions... Winners get a small advance ($1,500) and the full power of Amazon's promoting arm...



But...



You knew there was a but, eh? And not a butt, sadly...





They only want COPYEDITED, PROFESSIONAL COVER-WEARING books... which means those significant expenses are on the author... [I mean someone who has already decided to self-publish has nothing to lose, as these should be done anyway, but it DOES dim them compared to other reputable publishers, other than that marketing arm, I mean]. For ABNA, if you won, then they helped you with those things...



And it is on a rolling system... sure they are doing more of them, but there are no giant “8000 cut at pitch” bonding moments among writers. The common journey is 90% of the beauty of ABNA was the group journey... a pilgrimage in a writer's life, if you will...



And my final issue? No deadline. This is a rolling thing, so there is no urgency. How am I EVER going to get something publication-ready with no deadline!?





So For My ABNA Wake...





The BOOKS (and how I did)





2010: Confluence (the first I ever did and one that will need to be split in two if I ever decide to visit it again. Kicked out at pitch.



2011: Kahlotus Disposal Site (6th book written—this has been repped and subbed and is now back in my lap): This was a semi-finalist in the first year they split General Fiction from Young Adult, so top 50 of 5000 YA.



2012: Legacy (2nd book finished): Quarter-finalist and harshest review at that point—the reviewer found it unnecessarily comlicated, which it may have been. I would also split this in two if I revisit it.



2013: Medium Wrong (11th book): Kicked out at pitch. Of note, this was the year they went from two categories to five, so YA dropped from 1000 passed along to 400. This is the YA after Kahlotus in mind for polishing.



2014: A Shot in the Light: Parts I-IV (13th book, self published serially one part at a time): This book was a semi-finalist in the mystery/thriller category (you can get the full bundled set for $5.99 if you want, or it is for sale as a trilogy if you have already read part of it). Semi-finalist meant top 5—there were only 25 total semi-finalists (instead of the 100 there were when there were only 2 categories)





Now I'm not saying doing well in this contest has been great for my career, but it HAS been great for my confidence. I can write. (my marketing skills on the other hand, are sorely deficient)





But By FAR the BEST part of ABNA has been the solid friendships I've formed. The people I met first on ABNA and then have reinforced either HERE or on Facebook are probably those writer relationships that are strongest (other than my Harry Potter peeps who've been with me since before I was “out” as a writer). I couldn't possibly list them all, but there have been some wonderful successes and some hardships and a whole lotta fun.



On the ABNA site there is a place called the Manse (the origin of the picture below... our little fantasy world) where the most silliness occurs, but there are facebook groups, and over the years I've met people THROUGH ABNA friends who have ALSO been involved.



I really wanted to list all my buddies, but then realized the impossibility of such a task. I will, though, give a shout to the couple who have blogs I read regularly, since blogging is what we are about around here...







Megan Bosnic: Creative Chaos

Allison DeLuca: A Fresh Pot of Tea

Michael DiGesu: In Time

Johanna Garth: Losing Sanity

Jenny Milchman: Suspense Your Disbelief

Erica Olson and Christy Hintz: Erica and Christy

Gae Polisner: Trying to Stay Afloat in a Sea of Word

Helena Soister: Becoming Layla



I'm sure I've missed some, so PLEASE don't be offended. Some others just don't blog very much or I am misremembering and feel like I knew them before we went through ABNA, so no disrespect intended if I met you there and am remembering wrong.



In any case, there are MANY MANY more people who've become good friends from this contest and I will sorely miss it. Though I will have the writer friends with me forever.

Teaching an Old Dog New Twits...

Or something.



So this weekend I made a decision that where I really fall down is on the social media. My marketing has been ineffective, and while I am CLUELESS what would be most effective, I've decided to make Twitter my first domain to conquer.







My LISTS



Followers. Followees. I spent a couple HOURS Saturday cleaning these up. One of the reasons Twitter fell off my list of things to do was it was overwhelming. I dived in too fast and without thought. I hit the limit on how much I was allowed to follow, so I couldn't 'follow back'... which was discouraging. And my FEED was too full to really see what was going on with anyone.



Well the good thing about disappearing is people drop out. Both followers and followees... those lists plummeted and I felt a little liberating in having the flexibility to clean house.



With followees... I went through the entire thing... 1900 or so... and I DROPPED anyone who did not fall into any of the following:



Following me (stayed there except a very few I really saw as distractions)

Industry people (I kept the agents and publishers)

KNOWN to me on another format—here or Facebook



I DID end up dropping several authors, but like I said, nobody I knew and they weren't following me either (I left a few that had common genres with me... but hey... Children's books? Erotic romance? I need to know you).



My list went down to about 1500.



Then I went to my followers and FOLLOWED anyone who I wasn't that was following me (except a few oddball cases that looked like they were shopping for followers—the social marketer “experts” and music or movie sites that usually didn't look relevant)



So now I am at about 1650—room to follow back and closer to manageable.







So How About This Checking It Out?



I found it relatively overwhelming.



My impulse was to ignore... A LOT. Anything with links? I was NOT going there. I was committing a half hour twice a day to learning this and I was NOT going to go read.... really much. One or two things enticed me, but mostly I just cruised past. I ALSO ignored ALL “look at my book”. I believe had they come from people I KNEW that I would have looked—retweeted. But NOT unfamiliar names.



What DID catch my eye? Statements to which I could make a pithy response. (I responded). Good news (I favorited).



I probably would have tried to console bad news...



There were a few pictures I liked (that is new since last time I was there regularly).



I don't know how typical I am, but I think I may not be that unusual, so I offer up this advice, which I plan to follow:





And look. An Oscar Wilde quote illustrating my point...

Keep it a little personal. Let people see YOU. Not your requote of Oscar Wilde, much as I love Oscar Wilde quotes.



I think I am going to try to be a bit like I am on FB with my time available... just lay low and respond to people... retweet their good news, give friendly (humorous when possible) responses when I see personal stuff... I am going to try to make friends. Maybe then I won't feel like it is just a black hole of narcissists.



So... does anyone have good LISTS of agents/industry folks that could help me do this friendly thing with people who I NEED to be connected to? (do they do lists anymore?)



Any tricks you want to share with using Twitter that won't make me hate it? (I do NOT want to approach this as a marketer--it is incompatible with my personality--I want to PLAY, but in a way that is effective)



If you are on Twitter and want to find me I am @hartjohnson

A Bit of Escapism

I probably could have been really productive this weekend, except for a couple of things.





The first is a couple really bad things happened last week. One had to do with my day job and I'm sure there are some rules about me venting too much, at least if I want to keep my job, but I will say it was both sad and infuriating. I was truly angry for a few days, most of which has subsided, but the sad part will last a good long while. Also in the bad week category, my little bitty hometown had a tragedy in the form of somebody I suspect had mental health issues who also, tragically, got his hands on a gun. He killed three long-time residents, one of them the father of friends of mine. I feel horrible my town was so touched and that people I care about have been hurt so badly from it. If anyone wants more details, they are here.



Mostly what I'd like to know is what the gun enthusiasts plans are for helping all the mentally ill people, since gun control seems to be off the table. It's too much.



So I opted for a bit of escapism this weekend and X-finity kindly obliged.





On Demand was offering free Showtime... So instead of writing or immersing myself in negative feelings, I've been having a Homeland marathon.



I have mixed feelings about Homeland but my neighbor buddies I watch a couple shows with both watch it, so I wanted to catch up. I'd borrowed the first two seasons from the Library, but that still left seasons 3 and 4: 24 episodes... I've almost made it... by the time Showtime goes back to normal on Tuesday, I will have.



So what do I like and not?



I love spy stuff. Always have, always will. I like the investigatey, trickery stuff that needs to be done to learn stuff and I like the double-back change ups... that good guys and bad guys don't tend to keep those hats on.



This show moves pretty quickly and has several components to keep us on our toes.



But... First, this is petty, but the jazz music really makes me nuts. I hate the opening and closing music. I don't hate all jazz, but I don't like that disorganized, unpredictable stuff. It's just noise.



Next, I think they've overdone Claire losing it. I get she has mental health issues, and the first time she ran up against it, I loved it. Gave a personal battle angle I really could get behind, but she is hard to watch when she is irrational. And I think her diving into relationships, whether real or 'useful' are hard to buy when she doesn't actually make friends—a person who usually gives nothing, can't so suddenly give everything and be credible. I'm having trouble with season 4, as Brody was my favorite part and he is now gone.



But the show HAS given me a lot of food for thought—ways people can commit crimes against each other or rescue people that seem to have potential for future stories, tricks for communicating, ideas about what is possible surveillance-wise... and I have to admit, it's sucked me in pretty good for a show I really only think is decent, not great.





That said, I am probably 60% done with this editing round. I need to find a couple readers (contemporary YA) before the last pre-ABNA edit... And as I read and edit, I find I mostly really like it, which is not a given when I am editing....





How are all of you doing? On track? Or needing a bit of down time for some reason? Any shows YOU have mixed feelings about that you feel compelled to watch anyway?





And finally, don't forget... if you are interested in reading in a way that supports your buddies, I have a Blog Buddy Book Resolution going (read and review a book a month by a blog buddy). I'd love people to join!

When is it MY Turn?

(This whiny baby pouty post brought to you by... )



Wait! Hold it! Start over!





Halo fine people! (and bumpy people, too). It is first Wednesday and time for the Insecure Writer's Support Group. Via the Facebook group, we were asked to give a brief intro of ourselves for newbies (or new-to-us-bes) today, so here goes:





I am Hart Johnson and have published an indie thriller trilogy under that name. I also have a traditionally published cozy mystery series (by Alyse Carlson) and I blog as the Watery Tart. By day I'm a social scientist and around here there are often silly shenanigans.



If you want to know more, the tab “Three Faced Tart” will fill you in and also describes my books (both pre and post published).



WELCOME!



As to the Topic



I'm usually pretty upbeat, and I really thrill in the success of my writer friends, but every once in a while it just hits me, When is that going to happen to ME? I know my books don't suck. I think it's my marketing that sucks. But I am stuck with a day job, so I feel like I don't have the TIME to learn to do everything that needs to be done marketing wise, let alone staying on top of the NEXT big thing I need to learn. I am feeling a little left in the dust...



To be clear, I know I'm whining... I published traditionally in '12, '13, and '14 and then published a trilogy in '13 and '14 on my own... I am not FLOUNDERING. But neither are my books flying off shelves and it's giving me a complex. I'd like to at least fantasize that this writing gig will eventually support me, but at the moment, it is just about supporting my writing habit... end of statement...



The insecurity will pass. I know it, but I wish it would pass NOW.



So what are YOU feeling insecure about? And be sure to go visit some other folks in the Insecure Writer Support Group!

And So My Break is Ended

I had two glorious weeks off. And now all that's over...



It's funny. I am normally a person who really loves beginnings. And there are THINGS I like about starting a new year... mostly the resolutions and plans, but ending something I like (break) to start something I don't (the daily grind—which come to think of it would be much better if there were more grinding involved) doesn't quite qualify. January is my least favorite month.



I think this is Michigan's fault. I used to hate February most because “come on already spring”, but January's average high in Michigan is 14. It is just the merciless cold. That simple. That at the inevitable diet, but that is my own darn fault. I think I'll like January a lot when I finally retire, as I plan to spend it somewhere warm, and will start the diet when I get home... But as it it, yesterday (Saturday) was freezing rain and today (Sunday) it is snowing and if I have to go outside I need to wear a lot of clothes... You KNOW my opinion on clothes...



But since it can't be avoided, maybe it is time to just embrace the fabulous...







My Oregon Ducks Won the Rose Bowl!



This means Saturday they play in the National Championship game against Ohio State who I have A LOT of practice hating from living in Ann Arbor and having the Wolverines be my #2 team (Go Blue!).





My cleanse and diet:



You want to hear all the details about this, don't you? You are dying to dig into the calorie and sit-up minutiae that is my life... No? Okay, won't bore you... well maybe once a month, but it is too soon. Suffice it to say I think this was the sort of kick in the butt I needed. Hopefully in due course there will be less butt to kick.







Downton Abbey is Back!!!



I finally managed to find the Christmas Special in parts on YouTube. Frustrating that On Demand doesn't have it, but I'm sure there was some decision behind that... But the Sunday night show watching with my Couch to Keg peeps is one of the things I really look forward to. Downton Abbey, and then when that ends, the wait for Game of Thrones isn't too long (and we will start Outlander about that same time—that was our fall one this year, but the season continues in April)





Speaking of Game of Thrones



It is finally near enough (a mere 3 months) that I can start freaking out there, too. If you are a book reader, I've discovered a YouTube channel that does a lot of 'predicting from text': Radio Westeros. I think they do a great job and I think they've uncovered several likely things, mostly identities of people who seem to be bit players at the moment. It is too spoilery (or possibly irrelevant) for show watchers, but I recommend it if you've read the books twice or once but want huge surprises (I don't think one read of these books can possibly be remembered well enough to have all this be “AHA!”--it would be more “wait, what?”





But my writing, as predicted with my need for fitness obsession, is in the back seat... I will meet my ABNA goal, but I am not sure how much else... Ah well... baby steps, eh?





So how is YOUR beginning going? Productive? Spinning your wheels? Or a bit of a mix?

The Writing Goals for 2015

I have a couple things this year in “Dependent” status that might change OTHER plans depending on what happens. I will do my best to double plan so I can be adaptive...





First Quarter



IN my control:





January I will do two more rounds of revision on Also Appearing for ABNA and then enter.



January/February I will read Kahlotus Disposal Site and Medium Wrong , then revise the one I am closes to happy with for Querying.



And in March I plan to write a mystery... WHICH mystery depends on...





Somewhat out of my control: What Ales Me is with Ellen. If she LIKES it, hopefully she can sell it (meaning a focus on this series all year). If she DOESN'T like it, I think it is still good enough to query. My agreement with Ellen is project by project and I like working with her, but she will do the best job for me if she really likes it. Most of her suggestions last time she saw it I totally agreed with, but I will have to see if I managed the tweaks where I didn't agree with her (my approach is to generally think I didn't get what I meant across right so I need to do a better job rather than to make it something I didn't mean in the first place... usually it works, not always).



IFF I sell it, I will write the 2nd in March (March Madness). If I DONT sell it, I will write my 2nd Corset Cop one, strictly because I have one for THAT already started)







Historic postcard from Lake Chatcolet

Second Quarter



April and May will again be revision months, one for a YA, one for the first Corset Cop (unless I have requested revisions for What Ales Me or the YA I submitted in February). Then June, as usual (as it is BuNoWriMo, I will write a book... I have a YA I've been thinking about for a long time and really want to get to called Summer Bones —it is part of my Chatcolet series, of which Also Appearing is the first—they are standalone novels, but connected by location—the lake and small communities nearby where I spent much of my growing up. This one is a bit of a prank gone wrong/bullying tale. BUT if I've sold What Ales Me , I MAY be in a position of needing to write one from that series (the 3rd).







Third Quarter...



July and August tend to be months I reserve for winding stuff up that needs doing. If I've sold the Artful Ales series, it will be a polish time there—getting book 2 really totally ready. If I haven't (or my timing is farther out) I may invest it to make progress on either Undoing or Endangered—both of these are huge projects and both need a lot of work still. Undoing is 3 books in three acts and I've written 2 of the 9 total acts. Endangered I am closer to half done but have done a lot of reconceiving. I may structure it more like I did A Shot in the Light—as written I rotate 4 PoVs but the action doesn't distribute that nicely, so I need to restructure.



September will hopefully be a polish/submit time... (TBD--maybe first Corset Cop)





Fourth Quarter:

October a revision TBD.

November write a mystery for NaNoWriMo

December pick my ABNA book and work on revisions for THAT...



Hopefully there is enough flexibility built in here that I can manage... It is a total of 3 new books, polishing and querying 2 and major edits on 2, plus progress on a big project...



Ready, set... GOOOO!

The Non-Writing Goals for 2015

Fitness:



Know what I've realized? I haven't been truly fit since I started writing. Don't worry. It's not you, it's me... and what I mean by that is I am capable of total and utter obsession, but with a limited number of things. And fitness, to my poor addled brain, requires this obsession. I've never been able to do it unless it is the THING I am doing.



This has to change and I know I need to figure out how, but in the short run, I think I really need to allow the obsession in January so I can get some habits formed. I followed Weight Watchers SO CAREFULLY and SO SPECIFICALLY in September and October and lost a grand total of two pounds. That is a lot of work for a whole lotta nothin... I'm thinking this time around I need to do something I've thought was taboo since I was about 16. I need to get drastic. I'm thinking I will start with a cleanse. I've never done one, but hey, why not? I will look for one that is said to be a nice metabolism re-set.



The other trick I plan to mix into following low-end Weight Watcher points is NO REFINED... no white flour or sugar, no highly processed anything, no fake sugars (really the only sugar source I''m going to permit is fruit and the bit of brown sugar I can't skip on my oatmeal). I think the chemistry ban may help... a bit caveman-ish, but NOT skipping the fruit. Anyone who tells you cavemen didn't eat fruit doesn't understand hunter/gatherer culture. I DO get though, how carbs can prime you for hunger, so I think I may segregate fruit to the early hours of the day (fruit and carbs before noon, none after? Still working on this)



The final eating trick I learned from my friend Leslie... mini-fasts, she called them... confining all food to an 8-hour period. Our bodies, biologically, expect feast famine cycles and work most efficiently this way, so I intend to eat all my food between 10 AM and 6 PM...



Part of that trick ALSO wants you to exercise while your body is depleted to burn of the last of the prior day's food, but walking to work sets me up for this—though I will need to add something weekends.



The gym is also going to make a reappearance. Hell, I'm paying for it already and haven't been since October... And that Flex and Strengthen thing... I need to work it in... I will spend some time New Year's Day hammering this out...







The Day Job:



I know I grumble about this because it interferes with my writing, but I honestly consider what I do very important. I do research geared at reducing health disparities and making my med school and health system a more equitable and welcoming place to work and study for people of all backgrounds. It is stuff that matters.



And I've struggled since our office became this big behemoth. I went from being the single researcher for a physician with disparities interests to being part of a 20-person team with a cubicle. I am an introvert who needs to dive into my tunnel to be productive and I feel like I've really fallen down on this, so this year I pledge to work out a system whereby I can be more productive at this important work—productive enough by day that I can leave it at the office, which is something I've struggled with this year.







My cousins and our families rafting this summer

Family:



Some of this has to do with HWMNBMOTI so does not belong online... suffice it to say we've talked and have a plan that I am committed to. The other is my kids. At 19 and 16 they often seem to not need me, but I feel like my daughter has spun her wheels a bit this year and needs some help finding traction and my son is just entering the 'get that application ready for college' part of his life, so they deserve my diligence.





Reading:



Remember my pledge for one book a month by a blog buddy? If NOT, you can join this, TOO. It is HERE. I really encourage you to--it is a great way to be mutually supportive. I ALSO intend to read a classic every month. And then a third book (when the classic isn't super long) that falls into the genres I try to write in so I can keep up a bit. Three books a month seems about right for my reading speed when I consider I also read a book of my own most months as part of the editing process...





Blogging:



Man, has my blogging commitment fallen off. Part of this is the stress of that reciprocity that I KNEW with the day job I couldn't do as well. And I think that is right. I really can't keep up several days a week if I intend to do it right. So I think my plan is this: Twice a week, plus a guest here and there (maybe twice a month). Monday and Thursday seems to make the most sense (except the first week of the month where Insecure Writer Support Group would move me by a day). That gives me three days to do my reciprocity attempt, eh? That is the part I really need to be diligent about—visiting a few (6-10) blogs EVERY day instead of just the days I blog. I should probably clean up my blog roll, too, to better reflect who is still visiting ME regularly so I see your new stuff as it goes up and not just when I am “back-visiting”







Balance:



This is the trickiest part and I know it. I am STILL suffering burn-out from that serial and the shifts at work. I haven't found my balance yet, but by-golly, I MUST. For me this means getting a bit rigid about a schedule for a while, I think. I can't seem to fit it all in if I haven't given it a place. Everything takes more time than it seems like it should, unless I've set the timer and said “it only gets this today”... So January I am going to SCHEDULE my balance, tweak that schedule in February, and hopefully by March I will have fallen into it more naturally.



So that's the PLAN *BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*