Die Booth's Blog, page 23

The Power of Words

Words don't offend people. People do.

I think in these times of overdone political correctness this is something to remember. I hate the feeling of having to bite my tongue (or pause my pen) in case I unwittingly let slip a right clanger, and why should I have to? Words themselves, despite what some scholars would have us believe, have no explicit power – it is the manner in which they are wielded and the spirit in which they are heard that gives them meaning.

Like, for instance – an acquaintance of mine is given to referring to women he likes as 'nice little wenches'. If I was going to analyse that statement in the abstract then I wouldn't want to even begin to list what's wrong with it, however as I know that in this instance that it's spoken with genuine affection and no disrespect, then why should anyone take affront? That's not to say of course that you are being oversensitive if you ever get upset by anyone's words ever again. Likewise, someone might address you 'sir', imbuing the title with every ounce of disdain they can muster: a politely spoken dickhead is, after all, just another dickhead albeit in a smart disguise. It's the intent you should be marking, not the execution.

So what I suggest is that everybody chills out , tries to get along and maybe takes time to adjust their attitude rather than their vocabulary, because whatever it is, it's only offensive if it's both meant as offensive and you find it offensive.

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On self-confidence

I received another agent rejection for 'Embedded' last week and it's starting to make me wonder just what it is I want out of this writing game.

 

The drive is to be successful. To 'be the next JK Rowling' – that's the terms in which Success As A Writer is couched these days, but I'm starting to wonder exactly what success means to ~me~ rather than to the masses. I mean, Katie Price is a multi-millionaire, best-selling author whose face is known in every UK household, but that's not exactly what I'm hoping to achieve myself.

So what do I want to achieve?

 

Well, certainly not money. At least I was never under the illusion that I'd ever be rich from writing. Even daydreaming about ~getting a film deal~ never took into account any issues of payment; I just want to see my words come alive. So it's not about the bling bling kerching.

 

What about fame? That's a tricky one. I always thought I wanted to be famous – fame before riches. But if I analyse the desire a bit more, it's not so simple. If I question ~why~ I want to be famous, it always comes back to 'to meet people and do things that normal people don't get to do'. I want to meet my idols. More than that, I want to meet my idols on equal terms – I want them to approach me because they've heard of me. Why? Well, thinking about it, not through any desire born of vanity or validation or superiority, but just from the simple fact that I feel like whenever I approach ~anyone~, famous or otherwise, that I'm somehow intruding or annoying them. I want to be famous because I want people to come to me, and I want people to come to me because I feel like I'm not justified in approaching them. This is not, when I think about it, a very good reason to want to be famous.

 

You can meet your idols when you're a nobody – you just have to be cheekier and more confident to do it. I'm (and I say this with sincere humility, even though it probably sounds horribly vain) every bit as talented and worthy and interesting a person for anyone to converse with as any other human out there including the most successful, the only difference being that people don't know my name. I need to remember that, if I ask myself 'if I didn't know me, would I be the sort of person I'd like to meet?' the answer is 'yes'. That should be enough to convince me. And incidentally, if there are any other mes out there, please get in touch – we can make beautiful collaborations together!

 

I need to rethink the ways in which I measure success and what I want to achieve and maybe change my tactic for writing. I should list all the things I want to get out of this vocation, rather than the things I think I ought to be achieving, because it's a sad fact that in today's writing climate, with changing trends, I may never get 'professionally published'.

I've already achieved so much. I've had two emails from strangers saying how they enjoyed my writing (due to 'The Dust Bunnies' being taught on curriculum at Chester University) and that meant so much to me, the fact that they actually went online and looked for my contact details to tell me so. I've found out that my work has also been taught at Coventry University ('Life Skills' – a short story published in a rather obscure small press anthology) and that's just the places I know about. I've had email correspondence with Susan Price – who wrote my favourite book ever, 'Head and Tales'- and she's given lots of support for Re-Vamp and has said she likes my writing. Let me spell that one out: one of my favourite authors thinks my writing is just fine. What more validation do I ever need than that? It's a big, big deal to me and I've been pretty much floating around in a cloud of fannish joy for the past week.

 

What I need to do is keep reminding myself of these things I want to achieve, and what I value, instead of just feeling like a failure because yet another agent doesn't want me. I've still got a long way to go, I don't doubt that. I'd still love to one day have people outside of my immediate circle of friends really care about my characters and my messages (that said – thank you SO MUCH to everyone who gives endless support and encouragement for my writing, you know who you are and you know how I appreciate it). I'd like one day to know that my stories have changed people's lives in a small way for the better. And I'd like people to come up to me and want to know me because at my age, I really do doubt that I'm going to ever get much more confident than this (as Lady Gaga so perfectly puts it, "I just want to be free, I just want to be me and I want lots of friends that invite me to their parties.")

 

The more I think about it, the more I realise that getting the opportunity to work with LC – a writer I just love working with – on our brave little DIY horror project ~that Susan Price approves of!~ – means a lot more to me in real terms than getting paid such and such an amount for some publishing house to package my work in a way that I have no control over. Don't get me wrong – I'd love to go the traditional route (and if any agents or publishers are reading this and want to represent me, please do get in touch!) but mainly because the thought of having to do all my own marketing and publicity makes me feel tired out before I begin: I just want to write stories. Just going to have to be stronger and work harder though and – here's the big revelation – maybe start considering self-publishing.

 

Yep – the more I think about it, the more I realise that little-known authors like me and LC are the real rock stars of the business for keeping at it against the odds: in many ways, I've already made it.

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Getting an agent.

Since today was the day I sent off my last batch of agent queries at the post office, I think I should maybe write a little about how to get a writing agent.

(Wait for it).

I do not know how to get a writing agent.

The thing is that from the extensive online research and combing through the Writers and Artists Yearbook I've done recently, I have come to the conclusion that nobody else knows, either, not even those famous, successful authors we all aspire to be. The main thing I've found online is wildly conflicting advice: the do's of one site are the do not evers of another. So all I can really offer you is my own personal experience of the process so far.

A lot of people seem to insist that you don't need an agent, or that you will never get an agent unless you first have the interest of publishers. I hate admin, so I for one feel like I need an agent, if only to take a little of the office-y burden from me. I stuck to those agencies listed in the Yearbook, apart from a couple who I found out from online research represented writers I admire. I read through all the listed UK agencies, looked up those of interest online and checked to see if they are interested in my genre. I found individual contact names, rather than just cold-mailing the companies. Anyone I wasn't sure about, I researched their reputation. I checked and double checked their query policies: most places now I find are asking for three sample chapters and a synopsis straight off, rather than just a query letter. I am hoping that I'm right in thinking that simultaneous queries are now the norm rather than a no-no.

I double spaced my sample chapters in single-sided 10 point verdana. I wrote a full synopsis. I wrote a one page synopsis. I wrote a half page synopsis. I wrote my query letter. I rewrote my query letter. I had a minor* breakdown and rewrote my query letter again. I re-tailored each letter to the individual 12 agents who I had meticulously selected to receive my entreaty query. I made up packs of the required reading material, plus query letter, plus mss return SAE, plus a special read-receipt postcard printed with the DPM logo. I suppose that part was a slight gamble – I don't want to come across as a smart-arse – but the query letter seemed to me to be so straight and professional that I wanted to show that I do have a sense of humour. Hopefully it'll make me that bit more memorable, too.

In short, from all my research, the one solid fact that I've uncovered is this: the one, single thing you need in order to get an agent and be successfully published is luck. Certainly talent and tenacity and all that won't hurt, but mainly it's luck. You can plan and plot and reword all you like, but eventually there comes the point where you just have to throw it out there and hope for the best.

Cross your fingers for me?

* by 'minor' I mean 'major'.

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Represent!

Things have been all go in camp Die since I last updated – hence the lack of time for updates.

LC and I ran a very successful round at Re-Vamp! for Ghosts - a grand total of eight fantastic, brand new ghost stories from a host of contributors.

We kicked off Werewolves a little late, but already have had some excellent contributions that we're saving up to post – from film reviews and poetry to artwork and not forgetting our first, reader participation vote-your-own-adventure story!

Both Inked and Cellar Door were great fun and a real success – it's good to see so many people turning out for open mic poetry and these monthly events are a credit to their organisers. I just need to check out Zest now! Also worth a mention is Chester Writers, a monthly workshop run by talented professional author Clare Dudman. If you're planning on attending, please note that from this month the meeting will be moving location to the Custom House pub.

If I'm in summary mode then blame it on my working on my first agent query letter. Strange how this (and the novel synopsis) is proving more difficult to write than the actual novel. Repeat after me – hook, synopsis, bio!

I've now settled on the official novel title 'Embedded', which my mum came up with (thanks, mum!) – I'll have to get used to that after years of referring to it simply as 'DPM'. I've done a good deal of editing work on the novel, too, gratefully and extensively aided by my grammar-wrangler Sarah Grant, my science-proofer Becky Haywood and my trusty advisor Milla Galea. With a team like that on the case, I'm crossing my fingers that we can't fail…

Finally, for a bit of light relief, I've been working on some more of those read-aloud stories like I did for The Dust Bunnies. I'm in the middle of some dodgy stop-motion for my story 'Retrospectre' (not quite Harryhausen, but lots of fun) and this weekend should see me and Justin Owen filming a short werewolf film for my forthcoming tale 'Dogged'. Said film, if potentially rubbish, should at least be a laugh to make. It might even make it onto Re-Vamp in time for the deadline – watch this space!

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Long Live the Dead

Even before I finished the first draft of my second novel, I started to think about how I'd probably have to write a blog entry for my website when I did. I wasn't sure how I'd feel. My first novel I wrote over ten years ago – the typical 'drawer novel' which will never see the light of day despite a lot of it being still quite well written, even to my over-self-critical eye. I completed that first novel during eight months of post-university unemployment. It just felt like something I had to do and when I finished it I think I experienced post-story depression: when something is your entire life for such a long time, when it's over you wonder where you can possibly go from there.

This time around it's been different. I did have a moment of hysteria prior to writing the final chapter, although I think that might have been more related to content matter. I've not felt the anchorless feeling after completion, although the malais of 'where do we go now' has indeed struck, but for very different reasons.

I'm not stuck for what to write next. Oh boy, I am not stuck for what to write next – I have two planned sequels, another unrelated novel and at least two more vague novel ideas, plus a bus-load of unpublished short stories, volumes of as-yet-unwritten short story ideas, video plans, ReVamp! still underway – no, that's not the issue at all. I think the issue is the climate for writers today.

I had it all planned out. Finish the novel, first and foremost, so that I had something to get behind and push. Then write up a submission pack and try to ensnare an agent. Then the agent would get me a publishing deal, nice and simple like the good old days – at least that was the wished-for plan. Only now it's more usual for writers to do it all themselves. E-publish your work in PDF form for practically no monetary outlay, charge pennies for a virtual read, gain a fanbase of new readers who purchase popular indie titles on a whim and download them to their Kindles – the triumph of the free market! Three cheers for modern technology!

I've been very surprised by the reaction I've received when I've said that I don't want that.

Well, don't you want to be rich and successful? Successful, yes. What I want is some kind of relationship with my audience. What I want is to be read and appreciated and acknowledged. The only reason I ever wanted to be famous was to gain access to the things that only famous people can have; those things that money can't buy – invites to events, the chance to meet people whom you admire on an equal footing, the chance to collaborate with other people like you and the funding with which to do it. I never expected to make money from writing and money really isn't the issue. When it comes down to it, what I want is to hold a book in my hand with my name on the cover and to say "this is what I achieved in my lifetime". What I want is for people to have their lives touched by my stories and to care about and discuss my characters as though they're real people. What I want is for people to listen to what I'm telling them. I suppose, in a way, what I want is for strangers and acquaintances alike to care about me and like me – and 'me' to me, is my writing.

E-publishing definitely has its place. I'm not such a Luddite as some people like to paint me (unfortunately, as I think being a Luddite is pretty cool) I'm not opposed to technology for the sake of it, otherwise I'd certainly not be writing all this in an internet blog. E-publishing is great for reaching an e-market. It's good for people who wouldn't have the opportunity to be published otherwise, or for people who are really in love with techie gadgets. It's great for convenience and keeping costs and paper wastage down. It cannot and this is the bottom line, it cannot replace traditional media – that can't be allowed to happen: there is no way that 'progress' should ever be allowed to render art obsolete.

Call me old-fashioned, but I don't want to sit on a beach in Cornwall reading from an LCD screen.

There's nothing that can beat the anticipation of a book or record or film being released. If it's just a matter of uploading an mp3 or a PDF onto a screen then part of that is lost. It's like photographs: you can simulate any number of wonderful effects in Photoshop and you can snap away with a digital camera and see the results immediately, but being able to have everything right now on a plate with no effort and no anticipation just serves to devalue what should be the most valuable experiences in life. Seeing a digital photograph onscreen isn't the same as snapping a roll of film and waiting patiently for your beautiful, surprising photographs to be ready at the printers. Tweeting back and forth from opposite ends of the globe on your i-Whatsit isn't the same as checking your letterbox every day for that handwritten note you're aching to receive.

So I suppose what I'm doing now is going into a world of pain with my eyes wide open. I have a few wonderful friends who are prepared to read through my first draft, grammar check it, sense check it, give overall opinions and suggestions. I'll make all my edits and polish the draft. I'll write up summaries and synopses and CVs and post them (with stamps!) off to agents whose addresses I'll find in the Writers' Year(gasp!)book. I'll hopefully get my fairytale and be picked up and published and my work will be enjoyed enough that one day I'll earn enough from telling lies to be able to give up the office job. And you know what? I'll do it all on my own terms.

I've learned a lot from people I admire. People who have achieved a great deal of success, then backed off to pursue other projects to the astonishment of those around them, because they were being gradually pushed in a direction that they never initially wanted to go. What's the point of success if it's not in something that matters enough to you to do anything to pursue it? Any form of creativity should be about love and if I fall short of ever 'making it' in the writing industry then at least I can say that I always stayed true to my dreams.

If the print industry is dead, I say: long live the dead.

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Phantom Photo Contest!

Calling all photographers and Photoshop wizards!

Phantom Photo Contest.

Do you have any genuine ghost photos that you took yourself? Or could you ~make one..? All ghost photos accepted, whether real or faked – convincingly or comically! The prize for the winner (announced at the end of the month) is a short story inspired by the winning image, written just for you by the Mad Doctors and the option for your photograph to be included in our final ReVamp! anthology.

Submissions are being taken now, until 16th February – either submit in the comment box on the site, or email your image to us at mad.docs.of.lit[at]gmail.com

Full competition rules and guidelines are here.

Please spread the word around and enter if you can!

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The Dust Bunnies

The video for my reading of The Dust Bunnies is now up on Youtube courtesy of Justin Owen, complete with mounds of festive snow and me trying valiantly to keep a straight face even though I know there's a camera rolling! Many thanks to Justin for the excellent filming and editing.

Buy The Dust Bunnies, in the Cheshire Literature Prize anthology 'Edge Words'.
Visit Justin Owen's website.



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