Naomi Dathan's Blog, page 12

You: The Product You’re Selling — Part 2: The Beauty Advantage

Easy for you to say, Sophia Loren!

“Beauty isn’t about having a pretty face.  It’s about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart and a pretty soul.”

“Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful.”

“You don’t know you’re beautiful.  Oh, oh.  That’s what makes you beautiful.” — One Direction

So, touchy subject.  According to studies, beautiful people are healthier, get better jobs more quickly, are more persuasive, are more intelligent, and make more money.  And beauty isn’t subjective.

So unfair.

So unfair that an accident of birth and genetics can determine our entire future.

But of course, it’s not that simple, and although the studies may be accurate, they aren’t necessarily true.

First, let’s talk about that universal standard of beauty.  We women are supposed to have high foreheads, full lips, short jaws (what does that even mean?), and a narrow chin.  And of course, no obvious flaws in body size, skin clarity, etc. etc.  So, yeah.  I’m out.  Realistically, most of us are out.

But this universal standard has pretty limited application.  Maybe it’s true that people across cultures all agree that this celeb or that one is beautiful, but that really doesn’t have much to do with real life.  Most of us travel in much smaller circles than, say, Angelina Jolie-Pitt.  We usually have some mix of the advantages and disadvantages, and others’ views are clouded (usually in a good way) by their knowledge of us.  Clients who rely on my Filemaker Pro expertise are far past worrying about whether my forehead is sufficiently high.

Sidenote:  My forehead is just above my brows and below my hair.  Is that high, or the normal position?  Do some of you have lower foreheads?  Maybe below the brows but above the bridge of the nose?

I often say this to my daughter, who I believe is quite pretty, and I’m going to say it to you:  “Pretty” gives you 10 seconds.  Being pretty gives you maybe ten seconds of acceptance or admiration or whatever.  After that, it’s how you treat people and how you act.

Most days I don’t bother trying to have that ten second advantage.  Some days I try, and sometimes actually pull it off.  But it’s Ten Seconds, people.  It’s not the world.  There are plenty of rich, smart, healthy, persuasive, employed women with medium length jaws.

Whatever that even means.

You: The Product You’re Selling — Part 1

Presenting yourself improperly can lead to rejection. Harsh, personal rejection.

This is a challenging blog series to write.

Like most people, I resent that idea that potential employers or clients assess my looks instead of my skills.  I’m also sort of a free-spirit.  I don’t care about fashion or image — I’m all about the human element in every interaction.  What this means is that, IRL, I spend a lot of days in jeans and a baggy tank top with my hair pulled into two Pocahontas braids and about an inch of “sparkly” roots that I haven’t made time to eliminate.

But when I go to meetings or to work on site, I have to bow to the reality.  In a business context, image matters.  Over the next few blogs, I’m going to talk about both face-to-face and virtual image, and how to use the reality of image to your advantage in business.

In the meantime, keep in mind that cultivating a professional image isn’t caving to the rampant “lookism” that makes it so hard for women in the workplace.  This is about first impressions, and even respect.  As an example, when I (as my writer alter-ego) submit a manuscript to a potential publisher, I make sure that I use good quality paper, that it’s printed cleanly, and that it’s formatted to meet the editor’s guidelines.

Does this make my book more entertaining or moving?  It does not.  But by making sure it’s professionally presented, I show that I respect the editor and that I take my career as a writer seriously.  In interactions with potential clients, I need to do the same with myself.

In the next blog in this series, we’ll talk about that most uncontrollable factor: authentic, genetic beauty (oh, the unfairness of it all!).

Keena Tomko

Filemaker Developer

www.prismdatabasedesign.com 

Tips for Entrepreneurs: Do it For Free

“If you want to make it work, you have to do something that you would do without a paycheck,” says Hrishue Mahalaha, Breckville entrepreneur.

If you’re in the early stages of becoming an entrepreneur, you should absolutely read this great article!

Keena Tomko

Database Developer

www.prismdatabasedesign.com