Rebecca H. Jamison's Blog, page 7

Little Kids, Racism, and the Library

A few years ago, when my youngest was three, he had a bad experience with a child at his school who happened to be of Indian decent (meaning his parents were from India.) My son called him "the black kid" and made a few statement which I will not repeat here. Though I'm sure a three-year-old isn't old enough to be racist, little children do have a tendency to make broad judgments based on their experience. I told my son that he shouldn't judge the child by the color of his skin. Still, the child's misbehavior seemed to have a greater impression on my son than anything I could say. Unfortunately, it was not an isolated incident, and my son continued to have problems with this one little boy.

In desperation, I went to my local library and searched the computer system for children's books about racism. I couldn't find anything, so feeling very embarrassed, I explained the problem to the librarian who was sitting at the children's desk. She looked through the system and couldn't find anything either. We talked it over, and I decided I would just browse the shelves for books that featured children of various races.


It was easy to find a stack of books about children with dark skin. (I have never been so thankful for Ezra Jack Keats as I was that day. I also found many other authors and illustrators who wrote fun books about little boys with dark skin.) After I had an armful, the librarian approached me with a couple of books she had found as she continued her search on the Internet. The Sesame Street book called We're Different, We're the Same was one she found, and it was exactly what I'd been hoping to find.


I took the books home, sat my son down on the sofa, and read through all the books with him. I didn't bother to discuss them. We just read. Then we re-read our favorites over the course of the next few weeks.
Do you know what? Those books had an immediate effect on my son. He stopped making racist comments altogether. I was so relieved, and so was our librarian.
Books are powerful. Sometimes, as a parent I forget that. 
What books have had a powerful effect on you or your family?

Writing and Dancing At Once

Yeah, that's me, the little ballerina who grew up
and needed an image for her blog.I love to dance. To me, it's not really exercise. It's just fun. I always work a little dance into my day. But as my kids have grown, I seem to need more and more exercise.

In his book 20 Years Younger, Bob Greene recommended that, if possible, you should only spend about three hours a day sitting. After I read that, I started to keep track of all the time I spent on my rear in a chair. To my surprise, I often spend three hours sitting in my car as I drive my kids from place to place. That didn't leave much time for writing at the computer, let alone for watching TV. Bummer! I sooo wanted to move more, but I didn't want to give up my writing.

Then, last Sunday, as I was reading a book by Chalene Johnson, I had an epiphany. She said that she wrote her entire book while pedaling on a recumbent bike. (She put her computer on a lap desk.) Though she didn't push herself enough to consider it exercise, she still burned twice as many calories as she would have if she had simply sat at her desk.

I have also heard of a woman who rigged up her family's laptop to only function when someone was walking on a treadmill. Talk about tech savvy. I'm sure she and her kids stayed so much healthier because of her creativity.

My problem was that I didn't have any exercise equipment. Nor did I want to sacrifice the room in my house to store a treadmill or a recumbent bike. So I tried something new--I put my laptop on top of my tall dresser instead of my desk. Then I turned on some music and stepped back and forth to the rhythm as I wrote. Surprisingly, it worked. I was dancing and writing at the same time! The best part was that I usually can't listen to music at all while I write, but something about moving a little to the music helped me to focus on writing. I actually wrote more than usual on the days I wrote at my dresser.

After my discovery, I found out that you can buy something called a GeekDesk that adjusts up and down for people who like to stand at their desk. Or, if you're cheap like me, I've heard of other people who keep their computer on top of sturdy boxes. Some people also increase their movement by sitting on yoga balls instead of chairs. I have a yoga ball gathering dust in my shed, so I might try it one of these days.

Harry Potter's Sorting Hat and Laundry

Laundry sorting is fun (sort of) when you use the sorting hat.Like most people, I'm a Harry Potter fan. My kids and I read all the books as soon as they came out. We own all the movies and have listened to Jim Dale read the audiobooks.

One summer, I went Potter crazy with the kids. Instead of chores, I gave them tasks from the goblet of fire. It was serious fun. Yes, my kids knew it was another way to get them to work. They're not dumb. They didn't enjoy it too much. Still, my Harry Potter sorting system worked for years. All you need is a big hat and some labels to put next to your laundry baskets or piles. (I photocopied some of those little pictures at the beginning of each chapter for the labels. Then I added my own words--Slytherin, Ghosts, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw. I'm sure someone more crafty than I could do it better.)

We sorted this way:

Rags were Slytherin.

Whites were Ghosts.

Darks were Gryffindor.

Lights were Hufflepuff.

Towels and Sheets were Ravenclaw.

Since this has been such an inspiring post, I'll end with my favorite quote:

"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."--Albus Dumbledore

How have you chosen to bring your favorite books into your life?

How to Do a Super Simple Eagle Court of Honor

My son Ben earned his Eagle in scouting last month. He worked really hard to earn all his merit badges and to clean up graffiti for his project. We're proud of him. Since we had his court of honor, several moms have asked me how to do an Eagle court of honor. (Our troop expects the parents to plan a personalized court of honor for each boy who earns an Eagle award.) Since my boys just want to get through the ceremony and eat, we keep ours short and sweet. If you want something super fancy, my plan may not suit you, but if you want to keep it short and sweet, this might work.
Here's my to-do list summarized:First, decide where you want to hold your Court of Honor. Make a reservation if necessary. Have your son print out invitations and take them to his former leaders, friends, family, etc.. Have your son call any special guests he wants to have for speakers or to receive a mentor pin.Make a facebook event invitation (or other e-invite.)Plan out any refreshments you want to serve.Buy supplies at the party store. I got some disposable tablecloths, plus some plates, cups, napkins, and utensils.If you want to do a display, gather items like award certificates, picture albums, scout projects, trophies, extra scout badges, art projects, and anything else that showcases your son's abilities. Before the ceremony, you can lay these things out on a table. It gives people something to look at when they arrive.Agenda for the Ceremony:Prayer: (we asked one of the scouts to say it)
Flag Ceremony: (we had my cub scout lead it. Click here to get instructions for an easy one.)
Eagle's Nest (make sure you have some chairs set off to the side for all the boys and men who are Eagles to sit in. Then the person conducting invites all the Eagle Scouts to come forward and sit in the chairs.)
Talk by Scout leader (my older son didn't want this part, so we skipped it the first time.)
Presentation of Award (This includes a mother's pin, a father's pin, and the boy's Eagle. We asked his old scoutmaster to present the award.)
Presentation of Mentor Pin (The boy presents the mentor pin to one of his leaders who has helped him a lot in scouting. At this point the boy can say a few words, thanking his leaders and those present for the support they've given him.)
PrayerRefreshments (Our first court of honor was at night, so we served rootbeer floats. The second time was in the middle of the day, so we served a light lunch with pulled pork, chips, etc. I used this recipe for pulled pork.)
 I'd love to hear from readers about what worked for them in planning their Eagle Court of Honor.

Lies My Hairdressers Tell Me

For the past few years, I've been bouncing around among hairdressers, trying to find one I like. This is a great way to learn new hairstyling tips. However, there've been a few times when I've scratched my head. I'm pretty sure that some of the things I've learned weren't exactly . . . true.

I've shared a few below. Let me know what you think:
I had one hairdresser tell me about a great way to get rid of split ends. You twist a length of hair tightly and then run a lighter up and down the twisted strands. The lighter burns only the split ends sticking out. The rest of the hair doesn't burn because it's twisted too tightly to let in oxygen. Hmmmmm. (Needless to say, I haven't tested this tip.)
The same hairdresser told me that I need to use two different conditioners when I deep condition. The deep conditioner and the every-day conditioner have different Ph levels, so it's necessary to use them sequentially. Gee, and I just thought one was thicker than the other.
Another hairdresser told me that tiny mites live in the ends of our hairs. These mites chew through our hair, causing split ends. The only way to keep the mites in check is to get haircuts every four to six weeks.
I'm pretty sure they're all lies. What do you think?

Tender Mercies

I just got back from a visit to my mom and dad in Virginia. My dad was diagnosed with dementia about two years ago, and it's gotten to the point where he doesn't remember much at all. The day after I arrived, he looked at me and said, "You're so much taller and heavier than I remember." I wasn't offended because I realized he was expecting me to still be a child.

His mind seems to have gone back to his long term memories. He's forgotten the death of his parents, his first marriage, and most events from the past thirty or forty years. According to mom, he asks the same questions over and over again. Sometimes it's hard to be patient with him.

Dementia has been a hot topic lately. I hear all sorts of things about how you can prevent it by reading, learning new skills, and exercising. You can bet I'll be doing all those things. I just hope that people don't start to think that people with dementia somehow dropped the ball on learning new things, reading, or staying active.

On Saturday, as we sat eating breakfast, I opened the Parade magazine from the newspaper and started reading an article to him. The article was about people who were making a difference in other peoples' lives. Two of the people featured were working to create prosthetic limbs for children in other countries. "Hey," I said, "that's kind of like what you used to do. You used to help kids get wheelchairs and walkers. Do you remember that?"

Dad perked up. "Yeah. How come nobody ever talks about that?"

Surprised that he still remembered, Mom got out a huge framed picture of children that Dad helped while he was a PTA president of Kilmer Center, a school for disabled children. My sister, who is also disabled, was one of the children pictured. (I wrote about my sister previously. Click here to read my post about her.) We reminisced about how Dad went to all the teachers, compiling a list of needs. He then went to the town Lions Club and other groups, seeking donations. In addition, he spear-headed multiple fundraisers. Through his efforts, the school received enough money to help several children walk with the aid of walkers, to buy other needed equipment, to build a new handicapped-accessible playground, and to send teachers to special education training conferences.

After his service at Kilmer Center, Dad went on to serve in other volunteer positions that benefited disabled adults in his area.

It strikes me as ironic that he is now as disabled as the people he spent so much time helping.

On Sundays, Mom frequently has my sister home for the day, so she's, in essence, caring for two disabled adults without any help. This Sunday I was home to experience what my mom calls "the circus." Mom said she prayed all day that we'd be able to handle it all. (That says a lot, doesn't it? That she worried about it, even when I was home to help her.)

It didn't help that we experienced an ice storm that day. Dad was very anxious, and, at one point, went outside on the icy sidewalk, thinking he needed to go somewhere. I followed him outside and forced him to come back inside with me. He is still strong, even though he's unsteady, but I got him back inside without him falling. That was miracle number one.

Miracle number two was that my sister was so well behaved. Normally, it's very difficult to get her out to the car so we can take her home. She does something that my parents call  "a sit-down-strike" where she just sits down and stays. No one can budge her. Personally, I have never been able to get her out to the car. My dad, mom or sometimes my brother were always the ones who eventually succeeded in getting her out to the car. This time, though, she obeyed me. I took her hand, gave her a lecture, and she got up. Granted, she sat down again in the icy slush once we got outside. I told her to get up again, though, and she did! It might be the first time she has ever obeyed me in her life, and it gives me great hope for our future together. Maybe I can actually take her somewhere by myself.

My mom is one of those those people who always hears, "you're such a strong person." She is a strong person because she's risen to the challenges life has presented her. In her way of thinking, there wasn't much choice. Now she has to be strong enough not only to help my dad, but also to accept help from others. It's not her favorite thing to have in-home-care helpers during part of the day, but I'm proud of her for putting up with it all.

What I've Been Reading

I read books the way some people eat food. I usually go through at least one book per week, and then I forget all about what I've read. Hence, when someone asks me to list my favorite authors or books, my mind goes blank.

This year, I set a goal to keep track of what I read. (I read mostly audiobooks.) Here are some that I've read and liked so far this year:

All the Light We Cannot See. This is historical fiction set in World War II France and Germany. It's the story of two young people--Marie Laure, a blind girl from Paris; and Werner, a German orphan from a mining town, who develops a skill for fixing radios. The two eventually meet on the French island of Saint Malo. Their stories are so detailed, and the language so beautiful that I really enjoyed the book. I  was able to read the book a little at a time over the space of six weeks. It was suspenseful enough to keep me interested, but not so suspenseful that I couldn't put it down. I should say also that the book was organized in a circular fashion, not chronologically, which may annoy some readers. In other words, it goes back and forth in time--a lot. It's told in present tense, which I love, but some people don't. As far as cleanliness goes, I'd say it's about 99% clean. It has a few sexual references and several references to Nazi brutality. It's similar in tone to The Book Thief, which I also read this year, but has fewer swear words.

Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I read this
book when I was a kid, but, thinking it was a girl book, I never tried reading it to my boys until this year. They have enjoyed every second of it. The descriptions of hunting and homesteading fascinated them. They loved the story of the black panther and another about a bear. The boys have even loved reading about the big dance parties.

Never Give Up by Joyce Meyer. For those of you who don't know, Joyce Meyer is a Christian preacher. As the title suggests, this is a motivational book. It contains stories of successful people who overcame great challenges, people like Levi Strauss, Aron Ralston, and Oprah Winfrey. I'd heard some of the stories before, but most of them were new to me. The boys also liked listening in on some of the stories as we drove in the car. She preaches a little between the stories, but, as it was all bible-based, I found it mostly correlated with my religious beliefs. I sometimes don't like the narrators Joyce Meyers chooses for her audiobooks, but this narrator was a good one.

Jane and the 12 Days of Christmas by Stephanie Barron. This is historical fiction, in which Jane Austen plays detective. It was very much like reading a book by Jane Austen, so if you like that type of book, you might like Stephanie Barron's work. She includes a lot of historical details that taught me about Jane Austen's life and times. I liked it better than Death Comes to Pemberly, which I also read recently.

Other books I've read this year: Theodore Boone: The Abduction by John Grisham (a Young Adult mystery), Kissing a Frog by Sharlene Wells Hawkes, 12 Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship by JoAnne Hibbert Hamilton (Great if you have teens), 20 Years Younger by Bob Greene

"Run" by Jolyn Brown

My friend Jolyn Brown has published a Young Adult novel with Walnut Springs.
Enter to win Run on Goodreads until March 9.
When Supermom joins Dad on his latest project, sixteen-year-old Morgan is left with her aunt. Instead of dating the cute boy from her high school track team, Morgan will spend the summer in a small town near Kanab, Utah, five hours from home and all of her friends. Her plan is to keep a sane distance between herself and her aunt’s six boys. What Morgan doesn't expect is being attracted to the neighbor kid who hangs out with her cousins. How can she like two guys at the same time?
Just when her life couldn't get more messed up, Morgan stumbles across an abandoned house and learns she lived there when she was small. The house and its secrets haunt her—it turns out she’s been dreaming about the place for years. All she wants is to hold onto what she loves. But as the summer passes, she wonders if she’s going to lose everything. JoLyn Brown was raised alongside a peach orchard where she worked with her family. Some of her favorite memories are of listening to stories told by her relatives. These stories and her own experiences provide inspiration for her writing. Her published works include several short stories and A Circle of Sisters, an anthology of true stories about the Relief Society. JoLyn is currently working on a romantic fantasy novel and several companion novels to Run. She lives in Utah with her husband and two children. When she’s not writing, she sews, scrapbooks, reads, and spends time with her family. Learn more about JoLyn and her books by visiting www.jolynbrown.blogspot.com

My friend Jolyn Brown has published a Young Adult novel w...

My friend Jolyn Brown has published a Young Adult novel with Deseret Book.
Enter to win Run on Goodreads until March 9.
When Supermom joins Dad on his latest project, sixteen-year-old Morgan is left with her aunt. Instead of dating the cute boy from her high school track team, Morgan will spend the summer in a small town near Kanab, Utah, five hours from home and all of her friends. Her plan is to keep a sane distance between herself and her aunt’s six boys. What Morgan doesn't expect is being attracted to the neighbor kid who hangs out with her cousins. How can she like two guys at the same time?
Just when her life couldn't get more messed up, Morgan stumbles across an abandoned house and learns she lived there when she was small. The house and its secrets haunt her—it turns out she’s been dreaming about the place for years. All she wants is to hold onto what she loves. But as the summer passes, she wonders if she’s going to lose everything. JoLyn Brown was raised alongside a peach orchard where she worked with her family. Some of her favorite memories are of listening to stories told by her relatives. These stories and her own experiences provide inspiration for her writing. Her published works include several short stories and A Circle of Sisters, an anthology of true stories about the Relief Society. JoLyn is currently working on a romantic fantasy novel and several companion novels to Run. She lives in Utah with her husband and two children. When she’s not writing, she sews, scrapbooks, reads, and spends time with her family. Learn more about JoLyn and her books by visiting www.jolynbrown.blogspot.com

My Next Book

Photo by Rachael NelsonMy next book is coming along slowly but surely. I'm taking a break from Austen adaptations for a little bit.

The working title of my work in progress is: Turned to Gold. It's a light-hearted romance.

The main character is an animal lover, Rosie Curtis, who lives on a ranch with her grandfather. When her grandfather's health declines, she faces the prospect of losing the ranch and thus all her beloved animals. Her long-term boyfriend, Tanner, comes to her rescue, and all seems to be right with the world. Or all would be going right, except for her new next-door neighbor who's recently moved from the East Coast.

I'm having a lot of fun writing about flash floods, pet coyotes, and a lot of crazy things that happen out in the country. It's been fun to submit the chapters to my new critique group. They are helping to make it so much better than I could on my own.

I wish I were a faster writer, but with six kids ranging from college-age to preschool, I
have to take my time. Hopefully, I can finish by the end of the year. I'm so thankful to all my readers, and I want to give them something they'll enjoy.