L.M. Long's Blog, page 22

Remembering Unsung Heroes

While Memorial Day first developed as a way to honor the 620,000 soldiers who died on both sides in the American Civil War and then grew to honor all the men and women of the military who have given their lives in defense of our country, I've always wondered about the relative handful who were, in essence, "secret soldiers."

I'm speaking of clandestine operatives, such as those in the C.I.A., who only get an anonymous star on a wall at C.I.A. headquarters in Langley, Virginia. Why shouldn't we honor them, as well? I suppose it's personal for me because my father served in the C.I.A. for some 15 years. While he's retired and still alive today, I know the kinds of dangers he and his fellow intelligence agents faced in order to circumvent, prevent, shorten, or end wars. Imagine the numbers of soldiers' lives that were saved by their heroic efforts.


Fortunately, the Agency has begun a yearly tradition of commemorating those who have fallen while in service in a special ceremony held around Memorial Day. It took them about 40 years to do so, however. If you're curious about how it finally came to be, see this link. It was only in 1989 that non-Agency family members were first invited to attend. In 1995, all the memorialized names represented by those anonymous stars were read aloud for the first time. There are currently 103 stars on that wall.
This Memorial Day, let's remember and honor all of those who have fought and died for our country--the named and the unnamed.

New website offers Free promotion for Authors and Businesses

Bloggerdise is a new social networking website that helps promote numerous types of businesses, including literature.  The New York Post published an article about this website that was launched two months ago, bloggerdise.com connects businesses searching for free publicity with bloggers searching for something to write about. The site is the brainchild of a pretty savvy team that includes Jesse Cohen, Omar Padron, Jin Park and Eric Rogow. Jesse Cohen, talked about how he and the other co-founders figured out there was a need and filled it. “In this cash-strapped economy we just wanted to be able to help an artist, charity, or small business be heard through the unique voices of our bloggers,” he said.

For Authors and Businesses Bloggerdise helps you reach thousands of potential customers without a huge ad budget. Essentially you team up with bloggers to create a customized giveaway that is focused on your precise target market. This blogger connection offers your company: 
*  Increased awareness of your goods or services (for zero dollars)
*  New web-outlets for future giveaways or announcements 
For Bloggers Bloggerdise helps you attract more viewers by offering giveaways with premium prizes, as well as the ability to generate rich, unique product/service content. 
The site offers several tools for members to easily engage and interact with each other. Members can also engage social media directly. They can Facebook “like” and use Facebook to comment on the Bloggerdise boxes and posts; or they can reach out via their personal Twitter and YouTube accounts.
In a challenging economic environment, now small businesses and artists have a place to promote themselves for next to nothing. It is a win win for all. For more information or to become a member, visit: www.Bloggerdise.com
As an author I find this concept very interesting as a new way to promote my book/s.  This is also another way to promote the non-profit I administer: Writers Unite to Fight Cancer. I recommend trying it out to my friends and colleagues.

I invite any Mommy Authors and others that would like to sign up for Bloggerdise to sign up under the WUFC Banner. When we can gain enough participants we will be given spots on Bloggerdise TV.  

The Bucket List

I've written before about how being a stay-at-home mother and a writer--two of the very best jobs in the whole world--can sometimes be isolating and stressful. I find that, as comforting and productive and fulfilling as my routines are, sometimes I need a break. I need to "refill my bucket."
I first heard the bucket analogy some years ago in a women's meeting at my church. The theory is that those who spend their days in service--pouring water into others' buckets--must take time to refill their own so that they can continue serving. A woman with an empty bucket simply isn't capable of giving water to others, no matter how much she might want to do so.
I think that service is often its own reward, but I have experienced burnout at times when I haven't taken adequate care of myself. To prevent mental and emotional exhaustion, there are daily things I do that fill my proverbial bucket. I take walks around our beautiful neighborhood. I do yoga and read scriptures and pray and indulge in high-quality chocolate.  I play with our darling new puppy and spend time with my very entertaining children.  All these things renew me as a mother. 
Nothing recharges me as a writer as much as reading good books. Reading entertains me, but it also educates and strengthens me. I need books like I need air. 
Weekly Date Nights with my husband are a great recharger, as are my Sunday church meetings. But once in a while, I need refilling on a slightly larger scale. So a couple of times a year, I attend writers' conferences. These usually require travel away from my family--which means I have to work hard beforehand to replace myself. I often get anxious before a trip, but once I'm there, I'm glad, and all that work is worth it.
I got back this past Sunday from a terrific conference in Utah. I got to spend time with my very closest friends, including one of my sisters. I had fun book signings and productive and exciting meetings with collaborators and publishing professionals. I heard bestselling novelist Anne Perry give one of the most inspiring speeches I've ever heard. I took master classes and networked. I came away refreshed and enthused about my chosen profession, and burning to write. 
And I got home to my wonderful family, excited and grateful to be reunited with them. I'm back to reality, and it feels good. Yes, I'm already planning my next getaway--a retreat in July--but that's only because these trips require a lot of forethought. For now, I'm thrilled to be in my regular bucket-filling routine. 
What things do you do to refill your bucket?

The Love is Gone

I need to preface this post by saying that I love my romance writing friends. Many of them own their craft, and write compelling works full of engaging characters and dynamic plots. You are awesome. You know who you are. But personally. . . I’m over it. Maybe I am getting old, or I’ve reached some kind of personality crisis, but I can’t stand romance in the books I read. I’ve never been the sort of girl that looked for romance in my life, I’m too practical for that, but as a teenager and a twenty something I could lose myself quite easily in the make believe love story on the page. I loved a well written scene of the tension built by anticipation, the sentimental descriptions of that first kiss after chapters of waiting. Not anymore. Now when we get to the mushy love stuff, I skim. I sound like the Savage kid from the Princess Bride, “Do we have to read the kissing part?! Skip on to the fire-swamp; that sounded good.” I recently started reading a YA Steampunk series which shall remain nameless. It had all manner of potential. It was intriguing and visceral. Lots of action and mystery, and then what happens? The second book in the series becomes this endless string of internal he-loves-me, he-loves-me-nots. Teenagers getting all twitter-pated over each other, adults navigating the waters of a new relationship just doesn’t have the pull and the thrill for me that it used to. And when I come across it, I see it as an obstacle to what I really want to be reading, the plot. So I guess this is my plea: fellow writers, please don’t tease me with amazing, intriguing plot and then make me spend the middle books of your series slogging through some romantic drivel that doesn’t move the story forward. I understand that relationships between characters are important. I get that sometimes they fall in love. But the kissing, do we have to hear about it all the time? And how many times can two people really be excited about proximity to each other? After a bit it should be normal, not worthy of six sentences of description that I have to graze over once a chapter. I recognize that this is partly my fault for picking up YA books. Yes, the target audience is hormone saturated teenagers, but even they will admit that the best parts are the humor and the action. And if I wanted the main plot line to be the mushy love stuff, I would have picked up a romance. Perhaps this rant is brought to you by my becoming a fuddy-duddy, or perhaps it is that my first published story, Sense and Cyborgs, is a prime example of the kinds of stories I want to be reading. I know it can be done. I did it. Lots of action, interesting character dynamics, there’s even a bit of that mushy love stuff, but it never trips up the plot. It never draws you out of the bigger story. We can be the change we want to see in the literary world. I’m hoping my name will someday be synonymous with character driven books that don’t stop moving and never get caught in romantic mire. Until then, to each their own, and no romance for me.

A Mother's Day Giveaway and a Reality Check....

[To celebrate Mother's Day and my new gift book, enter to win a Grand Mother's Day Virtual Gift Basket worth $150 of ebooks, downloads, and gift cards. Email an experience that taught you something pivotal about motherhood to me@conniesokol.com--winner announced May 10th. Enjoy, and early Happy Mother's Day!] 


The Reality of Living in Two Realities
Lately, I’ve been thinking about realities. Like the reality that you have four pairs of fabulous jeans in the closet but you can only fit into one. Or the reality that you deeply love your children, and yet today you want to physically rip out their vocal cords if they sass you one more time. This is a complex issue—this living in two different realities—the one reflects a woman who is the best in us, and the other a woman who’s “working on it.”Sometimes we can look at others and see their best reality. Their children are excellent students and they're not even trying. Or their finances seem to flow like endless waters and they’re not even budgeting, while your reality is scraping life together and barely making ends meet. Or view the “best reality” woman whose child seems to win all the school contests, or is the type of mom who knows exactly where her Children’s Tylenol is kept. I once attended a meeting at a woman’s home when in the middle of her sentence her adult daughter called and asked her mother how long to boil a soft-boiled egg.And she knew.Sometimes this can make our “working on it” reality-self feel a little stressed. I’m not going to share a happy thought here that this is actually a good thing, that seeing our striving self brings needed humility, or that it helps us feel compassion and connection with others. I’m simply making an observation about what is, and that we save time and stress (ours and others’) by openly acknowledging it.For example, years ago our family was asked to sing in church. We chose a song about families loving and helping each other, and hoped the message would subconsciously seep into our children’s formative brains. The children’s performance was beautiful. So much so that afterward many friends approached us and expressed many kind sentiments. After thanking them, I added, “You should have seen us three hours earlier.”Because you see, three hours before our performance, the scene in our home went like this: My husband was at a meeting, so I was the lone parent, running around checking each child’s various stages of wardrobe “readiness”. Most of them were playing with toys, or hide-and-seek with their shoes. When I called our six children down to practice the song, the older boys said something like, “This is totally preschool and I’m not doing it.” On top of that, the younger children couldn’t sit still long enough to remain in a permanent line. And due to the anxiety of it all, I kept sweating off my makeup.The joyous high point hit when my sons finally sat down on the sofa but refused to sing at all, and I yelled at them to get up and see it through to the end, or some such motivational phrase. Yes, yelled at them, to sing a church song. A family-loving-each-other church song. That’s when I started to cry.So you can see why, as each person thanked me and looked at me with that “Gee, what a wonderful family” gaze, I wanted to pull down a mammoth white screen and replay for them the previous three-hour tour. This experience has stayed with me a long time (though therapy has somewhat helped). Because now when I see an obvious “best reality” in someone else, before I allow my “working-on-it” self to feel guilty, I remember a perfect song and the imperfect three-hour tour that preceded it.And that brings me back to a reality I can live with.


[The Life is Too Short Collection is available at all Utah Costcos and on Amazon]

Click here to Connie's The Life Is Too Short Collection... 

[To celebrate Mother's Day and my new gift book, enter to...

[To celebrate Mother's Day and my new gift book, enter to win a Grand Mother's Day Virtual Gift Basket worth $150 of ebooks, downloads, and gift cards. Email an experience that taught you something pivotal about motherhood to me@conniesokol.com--winner announced May 10th. Enjoy, and early Happy Mother's Day!]  The Reality of Living in Two RealitiesLately, I’ve been thinking about realities. Like the reality that you have four pairs of fabulous jeans in the closet but you can only fit into one. Or the reality that you deeply love your children, and yet today you want to physically rip out their vocal cords if they sass you one more time. This is a complex issue—this living in two different realities—the one reflects a woman who is the best in us, and the other a woman who’s “working on it.”Sometimes we can look at others and see their best reality. Their children are excellent students and they're not even trying. Or their finances seem to flow like endless waters and they’re not even budgeting, while your reality is scraping life together and barely making ends meet. Or view the “best reality” woman whose child seems to win all the school contests, or is the type of mom who knows exactly where her Children’s Tylenol is kept. I once attended a meeting at a woman’s home when in the middle of her sentence her adult daughter called and asked her mother how long to boil a soft-boiled egg.And she knew.Sometimes this can make our “working on it” reality-self feel a little stressed. I’m not going to share a happy thought here that this is actually a good thing, that seeing our striving self brings needed humility, or that it helps us feel compassion and connection with others. I’m simply making an observation about what is, and that we save time and stress (ours and others’) by openly acknowledging it.For example, years ago our family was asked to sing in church. We chose a song about families loving and helping each other, and hoped the message would subconsciously seep into our children’s formative brains. The children’s performance was beautiful. So much so that afterward many friends approached us and expressed many kind sentiments. After thanking them, I added, “You should have seen us three hours earlier.”Because you see, three hours before our performance, the scene in our home went like this: My husband was at a meeting, so I was the lone parent, running around checking each child’s various stages of wardrobe “readiness”. Most of them were playing with toys, or hide-and-seek with their shoes. When I called our six children down to practice the song, the older boys said something like, “This is totally preschool and I’m not doing it.” On top of that, the younger children couldn’t sit still long enough to remain in a permanent line. And due to the anxiety of it all, I kept sweating off my makeup.The joyous high point hit when my sons finally sat down on the sofa but refused to sing at all, and I yelled at them to get up and see it through to the end, or some such motivational phrase. Yes, yelled at them, to sing a church song. A family-loving-each-other church song. That’s when I started to cry.So you can see why, as each person thanked me and looked at me with that “Gee, what a wonderful family” gaze, I wanted to pull down a mammoth white screen and replay for them the previous three-hour tour.This experience has stayed with me a long time (though therapy has somewhat helped). Because now when I see an obvious “best reality” in someone else, before I allow my “working-on-it” self to feel guilty, I remember a perfect song and the imperfect three-hour tour that preceded it.And that brings me back to a reality I can live with.[The Life is Too Short Collection is available at all Utah Costcos and on Amazon]

The Power of Starting Something Stupid

I stumbled onto this book by accident and I'm so glad I did.

This is the kind of book that you don't see very often.... something that you get so very excited about and cannot stop reading or talking about.

This book speaks to anyone who has an idea for anything.  Of course I relate it to writing and that is where the fun begins....

As writers we come up with ideas for books.  We ponder them.... we consider the audience and how they would see it and we sometimes take a long time to spit out the words and have enough courage to send the manuscript off for professional people to judge..... but with this book Richie Norton pulls out all the stops.  Chapter after chapter he convinces you that whatever idea you have...it is worth something. No matter what age you are or what season in your life you are living, the time is now to write that story.  You will never regret it.

Consider this:  A guy by the name of Pierre Omidyar wants to sell used stuff on the internet.  He says of the guy he pitched the idea to: "First he told me it was stupid idea....and then he agreed to come on board.  Ebay was born and look at the success...

Here's another one....David Neeleman (CEO of JetBlue Airways--the one who created the electronic airline ticket) says of his new found idea:  When I proposed that idea, people laughed at me, saying no one would go to the airport without a paper ticket.  Now everyone does and it has saved the industry millions of dollars."

Pretty cool I say.  There are so many other examples of companies who were laughed at and then ended up making millions.  But back to authors---did you know the author of The Help , Kathryn Stockett went through 66 rejection notices before someone saw the brilliance of her first novel?  It is amazing that 66 agents/publishers thought the idea wouldn't work.  But she didn't let her dream die...

This book gives everyone hope. Whatever you want to do, says Richie Norton, do it now!!! No time like the present and if it doesn't work out at least you tried.  You are going to get a year older anyway...

 Check out The Power of Starting Something Stupid by Richie Norton.....

Here's what Amazon has to say on the book:
 

"Richie Norton has written a book about courage. The courage to do work that matters and to do it with your heart and your soul. Go make something happen." — Seth Godin, author of The Icarus Deception


"Perfect book for these uncertain times." — Steve Forbes, Chairman and Editor-in-Chief of Forbes Media


What if the smartest people in the world understand something that the rest of us don't? (They do.) What if they know that in order to achieve success, they will sometimes have to do things that others may initially perceive as stupid?The fact of the matter is that the smartest people in the world don't run from stupid, they lean into it (in a smart way).



In The Power of Starting Something Stupid, Richie Norton redefines stupid as we know it, demonstrating that life-changing ideas are often tragically mislabeled stupid. What if the key to success, creativity, and fulfillment in your life lies in the potential of those stupid ideas? This deeply inspiring book will teach you:
• How to crush fear, make dreams happen, and live without regret.
• How to overcome obstacles such as lack of time, lack of education, or lack of money.
• The 5 actions of the New Smart to achieve authentic success.
No more excuses. Learn how to start something stupid—the smartest thing you can do. Drawing on years of research, including hundreds of face-to-face interviews and some of the world's greatest success stories past and present, Richie shows you how stupid is the New Smart—the common denominator for success, creativity, and innovation in business and life.

 Click here for the Amazon link to The Power of Starting Something Stupid

There is No Bandaid

Sometimes Mommy can't make it all better.
Not like the days when my little girl scraped a knee andCame to me, breath shuddering, face wet,Wanting only to be held against the breastShe'd suckled from two years before.
Those days I'd scoop her up and rock herUntil she'd calm and let me clean the wound,Apply a bandaid topped off with aWhisper and a kiss.
Twenty years later it's not the knee that has been scraped,But thoughts intruding over and over,Attacking her shell of self-esteem,Cracking the enamel of her soul.
What if I fail? What if I'm not ready?What if no one understands me? What if I can't handle it?
I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough.
These are not normal fears and doubts,They are the more obsessive kindThat haunt her nights, besiege her mind.
I take her in my arms and waitFor breath to calm and tongue to still,A signal she is safe again and able toControl her will...for now.
I can whisper,I can kiss,
But there is no bandaid for this.

2nd Annual WUFC Writing Contest

The Drive to Thrive is the theme for our 2nd Annual WUFCWriting Contest.  We are accepting entries until midnight on August 15th, 2013.  Everyone over the age of 18 is eligible to enter. Contestants may have been published before, or be a first time writer. Subject matter may be on any topic as long as it follows the theme of the Drive to Thrive. Please do not submit items that have been previously published in other formats. Word Count limit for all category / genres submissions is 4000 words.
Entry Fee is $30.00 per submission. There is no limit to the number of submissions allowed. The funds raised from entry fees and sales of books above the cost of production will be donated to the combined cancer research program at Southwest College of Naturopathic Medicine and Arizona State Universityunder the Direction of Robert Waters, PhD.
Categories include:
Fiction - Short Stories or partial novels - all genres middle grade up to adult. (Partial novels must have a resolution within the text submitted.) Mystery, Fantasy, Science Fiction, Steam Punk, Dystopia  Historical, Inspirational, Paranormal, Speculative, Romance, Suspense,  and/or Western.
Non-Fiction - Essay, Inspirational, Motivational Speeches, Self-Help / How To articles, Memoir / auto-biography and Biography.
We are looking for entries that show the drive or will to thrive through and after life challenges - not just survive.
Do Not Submit: Horror, Erotica, Poetry, and Foul or Vulgar language .
The Theme for the
WUFC 2012 Writing Contest
was Courage to Thrive.Finalists and Winners will be given the opportunity to be published in the 2nd WUFC Writing Contest Anthology if they are willing work with one of our editors – at no charge.
Send submissions to:
Margaret L. Turley, Administrator
1146 N. Mesa Dr. #102-233writersunitetofightcancer@gmail.com                                 Mesa, AZ  85201Website: http://writersunitetofightcancer.com
480-586-7902 – cell phone
All published authors are invited to join Writers Unite to Fight Cancer (WUFC).If authors do not live in an area where we hold our events, (mostly Phoenix and Tucson Arizona) they can still participate by having their books included in our on-line bookstore, and volunteering to judge entries for the writing contest and or edit entries in preparing them to be published in the Writing Contest Anthology.  Please email Margaret Turley at: writersunitetofightcancer@gmail.com for more information.
by Margaret L. Turley

Where Did it All Go?

I could swear that yesterday I was pushing my third son (and last child) out into the world. It was yesterday. I remember it clearly. It took us nearly eighteen hours longer to name him than to have him. Now look at him! He's standing at my fridge grazing like the whole Devouring Hoard. If I look really hard there might be an ancient ketchup packet left after he's done. (It's a crying shame that he doesn't go ahead and wipe down the inside while he's grazing.)

And that's the baby. There are five others. I can't imagine how that happened since, in my head, I'm only a twiggy twenty-five-year-old college kid. The child units keep accurate track of exactly how old I am, though, so they can correctly inform people who I've been trying to gull into believing my alternate-universe ploy. Thanks kids. There'll be Brussels sprouts for dinner.

How is it possible that all those years of music lessons and thirty-plus concerts a year will soon come to an abrupt end? I'll have to borrow someone else's children to fill up my extra hours. Seems strange that they'll all trundle off to college and there'll be days and days of extra quiet writing time. What will I ever do without my evening hours being full of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Batman cartoons? (We'll still watch Dr. Who, of course.)

How will I ever wake up correctly without needing to stumble out to the car to take them all off to Seminary? There won't be any shrieking about who's still hogging the mirror or who left the towels on their bedroom floor (along with everything else they own). I won't be tripping on text books and smelly tennis shoes and violins and crumb-strewn plates.

The first one already flew the coop and set the precedent, first to college, then a mission to Ecuador, then back to college and now to a life with her own family. A new crop of babies is growing up around her knees, but too far away from here for my liking (although perhaps not for my sanity...:o) Thank Heavens for Skype and phones.

My middle son leaves in just over thirty days for his mission in Russia. He's the funny one who says everything in various accents (including Pinky from Pinky and the Brain and Arnold Schwartzenegger--sometimes together). For two long years he'll be off teaching the gospel (and freezing) while we slog on here at home, mirthless and sad without him. Who will prank phone solicitors or laugh at my attempts?

Almost at the same time, the middle daughter graduates from high school and heads off to college, leaving our home bereft of cello music and Latin phrases and songs belted out at the top of her lungs. 

I can hear the halls echoing already. Can it already be time to start looking around for mission ideas? There's no way I'm that ancient! It was just last month that I was rock climbing with my friends and bumming around Europe, two years before my own graduation. Last week I was spreading my own wings and flying off to Alaska to can salmon. Just a day ago I was trying to get the keys out of the trunk at the temple so I wouldn't be late to my own wedding luncheon. Hours ago I was waddling up to the podium to accept my college graduation certificate, hoping my water wouldn't break on the way. Seems like hours anyway.

Am I standing at the precipice with more than a little trepidation? Maybe. How can the next phase be as full and busy and crazy and annoying and mind-blowing and wonderful as the last one? I'm going to have to get to know that man who sleeps next to me all over again. Maybe we'll even have a date! Woo hoo!
H. Linn Murphy