Denise Grover Swank's Blog, page 5

Thirty-Four and a Half Predicaments is Now Live!

THIRTY-FOUR AND A HALF PREDICAMENTS

is now live!

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Blurb: 

Book seven in the New York Times and USA Today bestselling Rose Gardner Mystery series.

Rose Gardner hates seeing her normally flamboyant best friend Neely Kate struggle with depression. So when Rose stumbles onto a piece of evidence indicating her birth mother might have been involved in a crime, she does the one thing guaranteed to cheer Neely Kate. She convinces her friend to help her solve a mystery. Though their penchant for investigating has gotten them into plenty of pickles in the past, what can go wrong if they’re looking into a case that went cold a quarter of a century ago? But the deeper they dig, the more dirt they unearth.

While she’s busy unraveling the past, Rose must also reprise her role as the Lady in Black as part of her ongoing agreement with the king of the Fenton County underworld. In so doing, she discovers a mysterious enemy is intent on attacking her friends, and her assistant DA boyfriend might be next on the list.

As both situations reach a boiling point, Rose must face the possibility that certain secrets were meant to remain buried and not even her special talent can get her out of every predicament.

EXCERPT #2: (See Except #1 here.)

“I thought you’d been banned from the Piggly Wiggly.”

I turned around to see my former neighbor standing in line behind me. The octogenarian looked the same as ever—cranky—only there were some new faint blue streaks in her white hair.

I lifted my chin. “I guess that’s just proof you can’t believe everything you hear.” I pulled a bag of pasta out of the cart. “I like what you’ve done with your hair.”

She patted the top of my head. “What happened to my hair is none of your business.”

Fair enough. I turned my back to her.

“Are you still living in sin with the assistant DA?”

“I could argue that the answer to that question is none of your business, but I have nothin’ to hide. So if you’re asking if Mason and I are still living together, the answer is yes.” I set a container of strawberries on the conveyor belt. “What have you been up to, Miss Mildred? Have you stalked any other neighbors lately?”

“The neighborhood has been remarkably quiet since you left. Murder and mayhem are at an all-time low.”

“You can’t blame Miss Dorothy’s death on me. That was Jonah Pruitt’s mother.”

“And then there was the bank robbery.”

“I was an innocent bystander. Besides, you weren’t even there.”

She pointed her finger at me. “I heard about your job at that stripper club. God rest your poor momma’s soul.”

“I never stripped! I never even took my clothes off!” I protested louder than I’d intended. She didn’t need to know Neely Kate had taken a disastrous turn on the stripper pole.

A mother with two small children was rounding a corner just then, about to head down another aisle. Her mouth dropped open and she gave me the stink eye as she shoved her poor preschool-aged boy on the other side of her, away from me, as though my presence might somehow infect him. Only she pushed him a little too hard and he crashed into a cereal box display on the endcap. An avalanche of boxes came crashing down on him and his mother.

“Look what you did!” Miss Mildred shouted, louder than any loudspeaker could hope to be. Every person in the front of the store turned their attention to her.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake!” I shouted. “I wasn’t anywhere near that display!”

The store manager walked toward the cash register as Bennie—who was sacking my groceries—stared, taking everything in.

Miss Mildred narrowed her eyes and pointed her finger at me. “You are a menace to society. I’m gonna start a petition to have you kicked out of town.”

“You can do that?” If so, maybe I could somehow get Hilary kicked out on her rear. But my excitement over possibly evicting her was short-lived. I quickly remembered Joe saying if he had the authority to force her out of town, he would have done it by now. “Well, I guess that’ll give you some excitement to take your mind off how boring the neighborhood’s become without me.”

That wasn’t the reaction she’d wanted, but she clamped her mouth shut.

The mother of the boy was trying to dig him out from under a pile of boxes while her little girl started sobbing. “I lost my brother!”

The store manager had rushed over to help, but he kept throwing glances my way that clearly said he was trying his best to figure out how to blame me for the latest mishap.

Thankfully, the cashier said, “That will be one hundred and thirty-six dollars and fifty-nine cents.” Her tone let me know she was just as eager to be done with me as her boss was.

Bennie was bagging the last of my items. “Look, Miss Rose. I was careful with your eggs.”

“You did a great job, Bennie,” I said as I dug through the cash in my wallet. The girl was crying louder and her brother had joined in the chorus, although not because he was hurt—he was upset his mother had dug him out of his new fort. The afternoon had gone from bad to worse and I just wanted to go home. When I realized I didn’t have enough cash, I handed the cashier Mason’s credit card.

She glanced at it and turned it over. “This isn’t your card.”

I rested my hands on the small shelf near the conveyer belt, wondering why I hadn’t just slid the card through the card reader. “It’s okay. It’s my boyfriend’s.”

“But it’s not yours.”

“Well, no. But he gave it to me to use.”

She looked over her register toward the fracas behind me. “Ed.”

But Ed was too busy tripping over boxes and dealing with the irate mother to hear her.

“Ed!” she shouted, and when she got his attention, she continued. “We got a case of identity theft at register four.”

“What?” I gasped.

The mother looked up at me like I was one of the horsemen of the apocalypse.

Bennie’s eyes widened like saucers. “You’re a thief, Miss Rose?”

“What? No!” I turned to the cashier. “I didn’t steal his identity. If you’ll just call Mason, he’ll tell you it’s okay.”

Miss Mildred gave me a smug grin. “I knew you were wicked since you were little. It was only a matter of time before you were put away in prison.”

“I didn’t steal Mason’s identity!”

The cashier’s frown deepened and it was a wonder she hadn’t set permanent lines in her face. “You can tell it to the Henryetta Police.”

Crappy doodles.

 

 

 

Thirty-Four and a Half Predicaments Sneak Peek Scene

ONLY ONE MORE DAY UNTIL THE RELEASE OF

THIRTY-FOUR AND A HALF PREDICAMENTS!

 

iBooks,

Amazon,

Amazon UK

Amazon AU

Amazon CA

Amazon DE

Google Play

Kobo

Barnes & Noble

How about a sneak peek scene?

Excerpt from Chapter Four:

I followed Beulah to the register and gave her Mason’s credit card. She ran it through without comment, but as I signed the slip, she glanced at the name and raised her eyebrows. “Is there something you’re keeping from me?”

My heart leapt into my throat. What did she mean? Did she suspect I’d stolen Mason’s card? Or maybe that I was taking advantage of him? But a smile spread across her face. “Girl, are you marrying Mason Deveraux?”

Neely Kate’s head whipped around to look at me, her eyes wide with surprise.

I shook my head. “No. Nothing like that. At least not yet.”

“But this…” Beulah waved the card at me, and my face burned with embarrassment.

“I think you two make a lovely couple.” The voice behind me sent ice water through my veins.

I spun around and faced my least favorite redhead, although it was a very tight race with Deputy Abbie Lee Hoffstetter. “Hilary. I’m surprised to see you here.”

She glanced around, then smiled at the stylist. “Why, everyone knows Beulah is a miracle worker. In fact, I’ve bragged about her so much, I have friends from Little Rock and El Dorado who come here to have Beulah her work her magic.”

I stared at her in shock. While she’d moved to Henryetta to try to convince Joe to resume their volatile relationship, she’d made it perfectly clear that she considered the town equivalent to a third-world country. The fact that she would not only slum it by going to a Henryetta hair salon, but she’d tell her friends about it, was jaw-dropping. Although I had serious doubts she was capable of having friends.

“So are you and Mason Deveraux secretly engaged?” She grabbed my left hand. “Tell him to get you something simple. Probably a round solitaire, nothing too fancy—that wouldn’t fit you at all. A third of a carat would be good.”

Neely Kate put a hand on her hip as I jerked away from Hilary. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, considering Joe gave her a ring that looks exactly like that. Last I heard it’s in her underwear drawer, just waiting for her to change her mind.”

Hilary was still holding a fake smile in place, but it looked like the effort of holding it would give her a headache.

Neely Kate leaned closer. “Because we both know that Joe Simmons would marry her in a heartbeat. All she has to do is snap her fingers—” Neely Kate snapped hers, waving her arm with more sass than I’d seen her use in weeks, “—and he’d take her to the courthouse as soon as he could get her there. But then look at you, wearing an engagement ring you had to buy yourself because he’d rather set himself on fire than marry you.”

Every woman in the salon was watching our exchange with open mouths. Beulah could have sold tickets at twenty dollars a pop and she would have sold out in thirty seconds flat. But as Neely Kate had pointed out when we were looking for her missing cousin a month ago, the hair salon was the absolute best place to get caught up with the town’s gossip. And we sure were putting on a show.

Suddenly I realized something—rumors that I was playing both Joe and Mason were going to spread like wildfire. I grabbed my best friend’s arm and tugged her back. “Neely Kate.”

Hilary turned toward me, the look in her eyes saying she wanted nothing more than to stab me with a pair of hair scissors. “Were you engaged to Joe?”

I took a step back, the room closing in on me. No, it was the fifteen sets of eyes that were glued to me. “Not technically.”

The women began to murmur.

“Not technically?”

“He proposed, but I never said yes.”

I heard the bell on the door ring, signaling the arrival of yet another gawker.

“When?” Hilary forced out through gritted teeth. “When did Joe propose and give you the ring?”

“What does it matter, Hil-monster?” another familiar voice asked. “She’s the one he wants to marry, not you. That’s all you really need to know.”

Hilary stepped back and shot a glare at Joe’s sister, Kate, who grinned back like the Cheshire cat.

She’d shown up in town right after Christmas. Rumor had it she was taking up residence at the nicest motel Henryetta had to offer. I had no idea why, other than she seemed to be snooping around about anything that had to do with Joe. Violet, who had more contact with Joe than I did, said he was aggravated by his sister’s sudden appearance and had very little to do with her. She’d been in the nursery when Neely Kate collapsed. And although she’d been antagonistic before the trauma, she’d insisted on riding to the hospital with us in Joe’s sheriff’s car. She’d even stuck around to try and make me feel better in the waiting room. I hadn’t seen her since, but I’d heard she was still around.

Now Kate’s gaze was locked on my face. “Do you still have Joe’s ring?”

I started to answer, still in shock that this was happening, but then I came to my senses. What was Mason gonna think if he heard about this? “Neely Kate, we need to go.” I pulled on her arm, but she refused to budge.

Kate turned to my friend and picked up several strands of her newly colored hair. “Looks good on you, N.K. I could never pull off pink.”

Hilary put her hands on her hips, finally gathering herself enough to make a rebuttal. “What are you doing here, Kate? Are you following me again?”

Kate shrugged. “It’s a small town. I can’t help it if I keep running into you. This place is like a pinball machine.”

Hilary lifted her chin with a haughty air. “If you continue to harass me, I’ll be forced to file a restraining order against you.”

Kate smirked. “That shouldn’t be too hard, considering how friendly you used to be with the current Fenton County assistant district attorney.”

“What?” I gasped in horror.

Kate crossed her arms, a satisfied gleam in her eyes. “You don’t know about Hil’s history with your current boyfriend?”

I shook my head, finding no words, but Neely Kate had no such trouble. “What in Sam Hill are you talkin’ about?”

Kate tilted her head toward Hilary. “You should ask Hilary for the details. Everything I know is hearsay.”

Hilary’s mouth pinched into a tight line, making it clear she didn’t intend to say one word. I was grateful for her uncharacteristic silence; I had no desire to hear anything about Mason from her.

I took a deep breath and turned to face the gathered stylists and their clients, who were still very much watching us with bug eyes, not even pretending to do otherwise. “I’m very happy with Mason, and while I love him very much, we are not yet engaged—secretly or otherwise.” I grabbed Neely Kate’s arm and tugged. “Let’s go.”

Thirty-Four and a Half Predicaments Cover and Blurb

***Coming April 28***

Rose Gardner hates seeing her normally flamboyant best friend Neely Kate struggle with depression. So when Rose stumbles onto a piece of evidence indicating her birth mother might have been involved in a crime, she does the one thing guaranteed to cheer Neely Kate. She convinces her friend to help her solve a mystery. Though their penchant for investigating has gotten them into plenty of pickles in the past, what can go wrong if they’re looking into a case that went cold a quarter of a century ago? But the deeper they dig, the more dirt they unearth.

While she’s busy unraveling the past, Rose must also reprise her role as the Lady in Black as part of her ongoing agreement with the king of the Fenton County underworld. In so doing, she discovers a mysterious enemy is intent on attacking her friends, and her assistant DA boyfriend might be next on the list.

As both situations reach a boiling point, Rose must face the possibility that certain secrets were meant to remain buried and not even her special talent can get her out of every predicament.

PREORDER:

iBooks: http://bit.ly/14i6Cka

Amazon: http://bit.ly/1uGOdYV

Amazon UK: http://amzn.to/1zQjIjq

Google Play: http://bit.ly/1EidUB6

B&N: http://bit.ly/1CMRfi3

Culled (Rise of the Shadows #1) A Chosen Book

Coming late June 2015

 

 

The Curse Keepers Collection Release

I’m so excited about 47North has bundled all the books and shorts in the Curse Keepers series and has arranged them in the order I prefer them to be read.

It’s now available!

Amazon 

Amazon UK

Amazon AU

Amazon CA

Amazon DE

Readers who know me know that I love to show you a character or situation, then give you new information to make you see things differently. (For my Rose Gardner Mystery readers, Hilary Wilder’s chapters in the novella Ripple of Secrets comes to mind.) The short stories/novellas in the The Curse Keepers series do exactly that. You think you know what’s going on, then you realize maybe you didn’t know it after all.

The first book, The Curse Keepers, starts with two belligerent characters who fight each other every step of the way. While they can be frustrating, their reasons are complex. The shorts give the readers the insight as to WHY they behave the way they do.

I loved showing the TRUE origin of the curse in THIS PLACE IS DEATH–which isn’t what Ellie and Collin have been taught. Writing the REAL story of Ellie’s mother’s death when Ellie was eight years old in THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING was heartbreaking. But my favorite is Collin’s story– THIS IS YOUR DESTINY. I’ve saved it for the end, which might be a mistake on my part, but I want the reader to see the Collin Dailey at the end of THE CURSE DEFIERS, then jump right back into the man he was before the curse was broken in the first chapter of THE CURSE KEEPERS. I think it helps the reader appreciate his journey through the series even more.

I love this series. I’ve said this often, but it’s still true. I think Collin and Elle are my most flawed characters to date, but that’s what makes them so real, even if they are in a supernatural world.

If you haven’t read The Curse Keepers series, I hope you give it a try. And if you do, I would LOVE to hear from you! Email me at denisegroverswank@gmail.com Be sure to include your address and I’ll send you a signed bookmark!

Ripple of Secrets Part Three

We have less than one week until the release of Ripples of Secrets part three on my website! I will send out the email at midnight, CST, March 11. I’m so excited for you to read it! Part three contains another OMG! scene.

REMEMBER: Part three will only be available on my website until 11:59 p.m., March 16. It will then release for sale on March 17. This means you only have one week to read it.

Some readers have had issues receiving the emails with the links and passwords to the first two parts. IF YOU DON’T GET THE EMAIL ON MARCH 11, follow these instructions:

If you have Gmail, check in your Promotions folder and your spam inbox.
If you have a different email provider, check your spam inbox.
If you have never received an newsletter before, verify that you ARE indeed signed up.
Once you have followed the above steps and you still don’t find it, email me at denisegroverswank@gmail.com and tell me you have done the above steps, and I will forward it to you.

It is important that you email me ASAP so I can send you the link! The page WILL BE PULLED AT 11:59 p.m., March 16. 

I want everyone who subscribes to my newsletter to be able to read it, so be sure to make sure that you read before the page is gone!

If you haven’t subscribed yet, you can do so here.

 

Exciting News for My Rose Gardner Mystery Series!

I’ve sat on this news for several months while things got hashed out–legal contracts take some time to negotiate and get sorted out–but I can finally announce my exciting news to the world!

But Publisher’s Marketplace failed to mention the most important part: This is a PRINT ONLY DEAL.

So what does this mean? It means that bookstores will now be more willing to stock my Rose Gardner Mystery series on their bookshelves! Less than a handful of bookstores will carry my self-published books because of return policies, discoverability, and the high wholesale price for POD books. But now Crooked Lane’s sales staff will actively promote Twenty-Eight and a Half Wishes, Twenty-Nine and a Half Reasons, and Thirty and a Half Excuses to bookstores. Twenty-Eight will be available in August, Twenty-Nine in September, and Thirty in October.

What else does this mean for the future of my Rose Gardner series? Nothing changes.

I will still release books on my own schedule as self-published books.
I still have total control over ALL my eBooks. Crooked Lane only controls the print books.
I have total creative control over the series.

 

UK Tour IMPORTANT INFORMATION

Are you coming to see me in the UK???

READ ALL THREE PARTS!

1. If you want to purchase books from me to sign, you must preorder them. Shipping expenses are very high so I don’t want to ship books that I don’t sell or even worse, not have enough books to sell by the time I get to Cardiff. The only way I know to make sure everyone gets the books they want is to have you preorder them. You can preorder them from me OR you can purchase them yourself. They are available on Amazon and last time I checked, Forbidden Planet in London has copies of my Curse Keeper series. If you want to preorder books, click on this link.

2. If you want to guarantee your admittance into the signing of your choice, preregister and get an official UK Tour bag. The price is £5. You can sign up for your book bag with this link.

3. I’m bringing special swag to readers who let me know they are coming!  There are three ways to tell me you’re are coming. You can preorder books (see #1 above) or preregister for an event. (see #2) But if you are bringing your own books and you don’t want to preregister for a bag, you can just say, “Hey! I’m coming to see you!” To let me know you’re coming, click on this link.

If you have any questions, feel free to email my assistant Heather. She’ll be in the UK with me so you’ll get to meet her too! You can contact Heather at TeamDGSwank@gmail.com

I am so excited to come meet you all!!! Only four more months!

Ripple of Secrets (Rose Gardner Novella #6.5)

Everyone has their secrets…

Ripple of Secrets

The next Rose novella features POVs from Joe, Mason, Hilary, Skeeter, and Rose. It’s my longest Rose novella to date.

As always, Ripple of Secrets will be offered FREE to my newsletter subscribers. The three installments will begin posting every three weeks starting Wednesday, January 28.

 

Installments:

Part one: January 28, 2015

Part two: February 18, 2015

Part three: March 11, 2015

 

Release for sale: March 17, 2015 (preorder now)

iBooks

Amazon US

Amazon UK

Amazon DE

Amazon AU

Google Play (coming soon)

Kobo (coming soon)

Print (coming soon)

B&N (available on or close to March 17)

IMPORTANT: This book has much more behind the scenes information than my previous novellas. And while I will recap important things in Thirty-Four and a Half Predicaments, you will probably want to read Ripple of Secrets.

BUT PLEASE NOTE: I will only leave the novella on the website until the evening of March 16, 2015. ON MARCH 17, I WILL TAKE THE NOVELLA DOWN. Be sure to read it before it’s pulled if you want to read it for free.

Kansas City Meet and Greet 2015

Kansas City Meet and Greet!

Come join Denise and author Trisha Leigh/Lyla Payne at the Adam’s Pointe Golf Club in Blue Springs, Missouri on Saturday January 24, 2015 from 7:00-9:00 pm. There will be food and drinks provided as well as swag for attendees. Books and mugs will be available for purchase. We are charging $5 per person ONLY so we can nail down serious attendees. We are serving appetizers and providing free beer and wine and need semi-close headcounts before the event.

There will be a thirty to forty-five minute session when we will all sit down and chat. You’ll get a chance to ask me questions about anything. (Some of which I may not answer. LOL)  I held two meet and greets in Arkansas  last summer and LOVED IT. I found it much more intimate and personal than the typical booksigning. If you are coming to see me, I want to make sure you have a chance to chat with me.

I would love for you to attend! Fill out this online form so we know you’re coming!