Rebecca Donovan's Blog - Posts Tagged "what-if"
Voices in My Head
In twenty minutes, everyone will remember you when you're gone.
And your heart is a stone buried underneath your pretty clothes.
Don't you know people write songs about girls like you?
What will you do when something stops you? What will you say to the world?
What will you be when it all comes crashing down on you, little girl?
What would you do if you lost your beauty? How would you deal with the light?
How would you feel if nobody chased you? What if it happened tonight?
—The Naked and Famous
There is music that makes you feel. There is music that makes you move.
This music… made me THINK ~ “I want to write about that girl.”
That girl who is too perfect. That girl who makes everyone turn their heads when she walks into a room. That girl who is exactly who she needs to be to make everyone notice her.
Until they don’t.
Girls Like You by The Naked and Famous stirred something inside of me. It tempted me to explore the other side of perfection… of expectation. Leaving me with the truth.
Except she can’t recognize her own truth because she’s so drawn into the delusion of who others need her to be. Who actually sees her?
HIM.
I needed to tell HER story through HIS eyes.
What if she’s…
Not Perfect.
Not Expected.
Not Noticed.
Who does she become?
This story has challenged me since conception. Not only because I want to write a story that has a deeper message than what’s on the surface, but because HE has to be the one to tell it.
Writing from a male perspective, and trying to make it sound authentic, is much more challenging than I ever anticipated. Because I’m in HER head… knowing why she is who she is. But that’s not helping him discover her. Unravel her. Reveal her.
So now, I must step back... and be a guy. Think, feel, perceive as a male. Let her unveil herself at the pace she needs to.
In order to connect with this story, to make it as powerful as I intend, I have to find the quiet so I can listen to his voice in my head.
I believe the glory of writing is letting something in that was never there before… allowing it to find me in its own way. This story is exposing more of itself to me every day. And each day, I am inspired to tell it.
I hope you too will be enveloped by Cal’s voice as he unveils Nyelle before your eyes. It’s a story that questions everything…
Just to think ~ it all started with a song.
“What If”
And your heart is a stone buried underneath your pretty clothes.
Don't you know people write songs about girls like you?
What will you do when something stops you? What will you say to the world?
What will you be when it all comes crashing down on you, little girl?
What would you do if you lost your beauty? How would you deal with the light?
How would you feel if nobody chased you? What if it happened tonight?
—The Naked and Famous
There is music that makes you feel. There is music that makes you move.
This music… made me THINK ~ “I want to write about that girl.”
That girl who is too perfect. That girl who makes everyone turn their heads when she walks into a room. That girl who is exactly who she needs to be to make everyone notice her.
Until they don’t.
Girls Like You by The Naked and Famous stirred something inside of me. It tempted me to explore the other side of perfection… of expectation. Leaving me with the truth.
Except she can’t recognize her own truth because she’s so drawn into the delusion of who others need her to be. Who actually sees her?
HIM.
I needed to tell HER story through HIS eyes.
What if she’s…
Not Perfect.
Not Expected.
Not Noticed.
Who does she become?
This story has challenged me since conception. Not only because I want to write a story that has a deeper message than what’s on the surface, but because HE has to be the one to tell it.
Writing from a male perspective, and trying to make it sound authentic, is much more challenging than I ever anticipated. Because I’m in HER head… knowing why she is who she is. But that’s not helping him discover her. Unravel her. Reveal her.
So now, I must step back... and be a guy. Think, feel, perceive as a male. Let her unveil herself at the pace she needs to.
In order to connect with this story, to make it as powerful as I intend, I have to find the quiet so I can listen to his voice in my head.
I believe the glory of writing is letting something in that was never there before… allowing it to find me in its own way. This story is exposing more of itself to me every day. And each day, I am inspired to tell it.
I hope you too will be enveloped by Cal’s voice as he unveils Nyelle before your eyes. It’s a story that questions everything…
Just to think ~ it all started with a song.
“What If”
Waiting....
I talk out loud – creating conversation.
I visualize facial expressions – squinting, mouth tightening, furrowing brows.
I observe me – my breathing, my heartbeat, my hands clenching.
Then I listen.
Where is this taking me? What should happen next? How will this all come together?
And then there is silence. I wait. But the voices are mute.
I try to force them, but it’s no use. They will not be persuaded by desperation.
I know the story. I know what needs to be told. But there are no words in the silence. I can’t write them if they are not ready. I can only wait.
And waiting is hard.
Waiting makes me question my choices. Makes me question if I truly deserve to be an author. It shakes my confidence. Induces panic.
Because they are waiting. Wondering what is next. When it will be done. They’re all waiting for me to… write. And so am I.
And then it happens. The voices come rushing at me, so overwhelming I don’t know where to begin… I want to cry. Tears of relief. Tears of joy. A rush of adrenaline. Elation courses through me.
There’s a pounding in my chest because I can see it. I can hear it. The story that’s been waiting, dormant in its formation, is ready to finally be told.
I close my eyes, and absorb it all. It becomes everything, and nothing else matters until the final word is typed. Nothing else matters…
I visualize facial expressions – squinting, mouth tightening, furrowing brows.
I observe me – my breathing, my heartbeat, my hands clenching.
Then I listen.
Where is this taking me? What should happen next? How will this all come together?
And then there is silence. I wait. But the voices are mute.
I try to force them, but it’s no use. They will not be persuaded by desperation.
I know the story. I know what needs to be told. But there are no words in the silence. I can’t write them if they are not ready. I can only wait.
And waiting is hard.
Waiting makes me question my choices. Makes me question if I truly deserve to be an author. It shakes my confidence. Induces panic.
Because they are waiting. Wondering what is next. When it will be done. They’re all waiting for me to… write. And so am I.
And then it happens. The voices come rushing at me, so overwhelming I don’t know where to begin… I want to cry. Tears of relief. Tears of joy. A rush of adrenaline. Elation courses through me.
There’s a pounding in my chest because I can see it. I can hear it. The story that’s been waiting, dormant in its formation, is ready to finally be told.
I close my eyes, and absorb it all. It becomes everything, and nothing else matters until the final word is typed. Nothing else matters…
Honestly
This is the time of year when people reflect upon what has happened and what will be.
But I’d rather reflect upon the now. The moment I’m living in this very second. And this second, for me, is all about honesty.
As real and pure as honesty is, it’s also hard. It’s not always easy to give. And it can be difficult to hear. But acknowledgment of the truth can change the very seconds we’re living in.
It takes courage and strength to be honest with who you are; to look in the mirror and respect the person looking back at you. There are days that person looks like a stranger. Someone you’ve never met before. Someone you don’t want to know. But every day, that person is you. And every day, you should challenge that person to be better.
Better than the day before. Better than the hour before. Better than the second before.
Because you can… you are… better. Look. Can’t you see it?
It may take even more courage and strength to look the person you love and care about in the eye, with the risk of losing them, and want them to want more, from this life. You can’t make them. You can only want it for them.
Because the truth… the honest truth… won’t set them free. Only they can. And that realization may hurt, but the honesty you share might actually save them.
I will always strive to be better –to smile at the reflection looking back at me with acceptance. I love with all that I am. I protect with every ounce of my being. I give until there’s nothing left. And I cannot live without being honest… even if that leaves me with a loss.
I could sit here and reflect upon my amazing moments of 2013… and there have been many. Or I could be excited for what is to come in 2014, because it will be the most life-altering year yet. But I’d rather live in the moment I’m in.
I know there is no better day than the one I’m living… until tomorrow.
But I’d rather reflect upon the now. The moment I’m living in this very second. And this second, for me, is all about honesty.
As real and pure as honesty is, it’s also hard. It’s not always easy to give. And it can be difficult to hear. But acknowledgment of the truth can change the very seconds we’re living in.
It takes courage and strength to be honest with who you are; to look in the mirror and respect the person looking back at you. There are days that person looks like a stranger. Someone you’ve never met before. Someone you don’t want to know. But every day, that person is you. And every day, you should challenge that person to be better.
Better than the day before. Better than the hour before. Better than the second before.
Because you can… you are… better. Look. Can’t you see it?
It may take even more courage and strength to look the person you love and care about in the eye, with the risk of losing them, and want them to want more, from this life. You can’t make them. You can only want it for them.
Because the truth… the honest truth… won’t set them free. Only they can. And that realization may hurt, but the honesty you share might actually save them.
I will always strive to be better –to smile at the reflection looking back at me with acceptance. I love with all that I am. I protect with every ounce of my being. I give until there’s nothing left. And I cannot live without being honest… even if that leaves me with a loss.
I could sit here and reflect upon my amazing moments of 2013… and there have been many. Or I could be excited for what is to come in 2014, because it will be the most life-altering year yet. But I’d rather live in the moment I’m in.
I know there is no better day than the one I’m living… until tomorrow.
