Adam Chromý's Blog, page 31

Please fire me. Someone broke a cheap bottle of Barefoot Wine (you know, the $8 one’s you can buy...

Please fire me. Someone broke a cheap bottle of Barefoot Wine (you know, the $8 one’s you can buy ANYWHERE) in the wine cellar at the restaurant I work at as a dishwasher. My boss continually asked me if I broke it and, after continually telling him it wasn’t me, he then accused me of lying and that it must have been me because I’m the youngest person who works there. On payday, I found out that he docked $30 from my paycheck.

Please fire me. A customer threatened to sue me over the phone today. The reason? I “sighed” when...

Please fire me. A customer threatened to sue me over the phone today. The reason? I “sighed” when asked to mentally calculate the exact price, tax included, for an item. It’s called breathing.

Please fire me. I work in a costume store that offers over a 1,000 varieties of costumes and...

Please fire me. I work in a costume store that offers over a 1,000 varieties of costumes and hundreds of masks in a giant warehouse. People regularly get mad at me and cuss me out because I don’t know exactly where the costume they want is located.

Please fire me. My pro made me close the golf course due to lightning, and then when it didn’t...

Please fire me. My pro made me close the golf course due to lightning, and then when it didn’t storm, proceeded to get angry at me for closing the golf course. 

Please fire me. I arrived at a table to take a customer’s order just in time to see them projectile...

Please fire me. I arrived at a table to take a customer’s order just in time to see them projectile vomit onto their plate…which I then had to clean.

Please fire me. Our regional loss prevention associate came in yesterday and educated me on how to...

Please fire me. Our regional loss prevention associate came in yesterday and educated me on how to better secure my department because it contains the highest value merchandise. After her pleasant and enlightening visit, my supervisor told me that the security of the department was entirely my responsibility every single day from now on, “since you feel that you are so important that you spoke to the l.p. manager without permission.” I only work 2 days a week and all the other employees in the department are temps who didn’t go through criminal background checks.

Please fire me. I just got passed up for a promotion at work. The person who got it is fuckin one of...

Please fire me. I just got passed up for a promotion at work. The person who got it is fuckin one of the managers.

Please fire me. I’m a server that normally works 39.8 hours every week (we are not allowed OT...

Please fire me. I’m a server that normally works 39.8 hours every week (we are not allowed OT because that’s too expensive!) This week I’m on my honeymoon, three states away and my GM just sent an email to me and 6 others complaining about how we aren’t team players for picking up shifts from a server that walked out last night.

Please fire me. My boss just told us we will be opening for breakfast at 6:30 am every day of the...

Please fire me. My boss just told us we will be opening for breakfast at 6:30 am every day of the week for the foreseeable future. I work at a bar so I can sleep in. 

Please fire me. Because I do not want to go out and do drugs or drink with my boss I get called a...

Please fire me. Because I do not want to go out and do drugs or drink with my boss I get called a low performer at work.