R. Haven's Blog, page 3

Printed; July 16 2025

The Other Face of Sympathy goes to the printers today, and I can hardly believe it! I get to drag my transgender protagonist through the Horrors for your enjoyment this fall!

I love writing queer characters. I love putting them in the genres we read but don’t often get to see ourselves in, even when the plot’s circumstances aren’t what we personally want to go through. We just need people like us in stories of all kinds.

I went into a bookstore earlier this week and had a Moment when I saw the table featuring Canadian authors, too. That’s going to be me. I could have a book on there this September.

Wild.

Reminder that you can preorder either the e-book or paperback by using this link – from there, you can choose your preferred bookstore to order from. Preorders are one of the most important statistics the publishing world uses to gauge an author’s ‘success’, so the more preorders I get, the more likely more publishers are to take a chance on my books.

If you’ve already preordered, thank you so much! If you haven’t – I get it, money’s tight for everyone right now. But either way, hopefully you’re encouraging friends or family or strangers on the street to preorder a copy!

Cast a Spell; July 9 2025

It’s one of those days, y’all. One where I’m reminding myself I want to use this blog as a positive space and not one where I whine endlessly about my frustrations, my pains.

But hoo boy, on the pain front. I must have done something to my legs, because they feel like I’ve lit tiny fires in my knees that flare up every time I move them.

That, alongside everything that’s going on in the world…

I’m just having a hard time with it all, I guess. I’ll survive it, but I’m acutely aware that so many others won’t.

I wish that power didn’t make people lose sight of why we’re here. We’re supposed to care about each other, differences be damned.

But I digress. There’s a lot more I could say on this, but it’d be incoherent and upset and I need to latch onto something light. I don’t know who knows this about me and who doesn’t, but I choose to believe in magic.

There’s just so much in this world that I don’t understand and acknowledge that we don’t have a solid explanation for. I refuse to rule anything out completely. Science, to me, is when we have a name and reason for the things we used to call magic.

So I cast spells sometimes. I don’t think there’s any one ‘right’ way to cast spells – it’s about ritual and intention.

When I was a kid, I used to sneak out at night to gaze at the full moon sometimes. Didn’t matter if it was the dead of winter; I’d be out there in pyjamas, standing in my backyard, just staring and pouring all my confusing feelings out like the moon could do something about it. Looking back, I think I was casting spells. Getting myself through hard times.

It’s no different than religion to me, too. I had a great conversation not long ago when my kid had a playdate over at my house. Her friend’s mom and I sat at the dinner table and talked about my tarot cards, because the kids had asked me to do readings for them.

‘God is in your cards’, she said. It doesn’t matter if my idea of a god is different from hers – I look to tarot for guidance sometimes, cast blessings on my house, keep protective spells in jars because it helps me sleep at night.

I cast a spell on the first day of July. My version of a prayer for something good to happen this month.

And it doesn’t matter if the magic is real, honestly. It’s getting me through.

It’s different, but that doesn’t matter either. You should care about the people who believe in magic, because I care about you too.

Leggy; July 2 2025

I’ve had a busy couple of weeks, yet there’s nothing much to say about it! The only important part is that my kid had her birthday!

All I really want to talk about this week is vibes – or, specifically, the movie ‘Longlegs’.

My roommate saw that movie in theatres and was shaken. Someone apparently retched in the row behind them, and the collective discomfort in the theatre combined with the social expectation that no one talks through the movie (if you do this, you’re a jerk) truly made the experience.

I did Not have that experience.

I do think Nicholas Cage acted the hell out of the villain role, but that’s the best thing I had to say about it. Story-wise, it was incoherent, a bunch of promises only half-delivered on. They were clearly trying to do some cool things with it, but just… didn’t commit.

Now, this is just one guy’s opinion, so if you loved Longlegs, this isn’t shade on you! I just got to thinking about the way we experience horror. The way certain types rely on isolation, the kind that works really well in book format, and others need you to soak in the tension of those around you, like in theatres or even haunted house attractions.

Instinctively, we know that when everyone around us is afraid, we should be too. There’s danger that the people around you have spotted and whether you see it or not, it’s hard not to physically respond to that.

But there’s also horror in being the only one experiencing what’s happening, the lone and helpless observer. The fact that no one else is right there in it with you makes it more intense, plays on that sense of ‘wrong’ that I particularly enjoy when writing horror.

I didn’t care for the movie, but at least it got me thinking!

For Diana; June 18 2025

I don’t know that I’ve ever talked much about high school on this blog. Specifically, how a good teacher helped me survive it – and I do mean literally. I didn’t have money for food a lot of the time back then, and I was so underweight that I was passing out in the cafeteria.

But one teacher noticed, and made sure I had somewhere to crash and something to eat.

One teacher knew I loved theatre and music, and would invite me to the opera with her classes on field trips. She knew I was going to have panic attacks in the afternoons during a rash of lockdowns, and she’d either get me somewhere safe or send me right home. When I was processing some hard truths about myself and things I’d been through, she was one of the first people I told. When I was in the hospital, she came to visit and taught me how to knit so I had something to do with my hands while losing my mind in that place.

I still think about her and admire her kindness, her empathy. She inspires me, still. Her name is Diana Ried, and I hope she knows what an incredible person she is.

A Hypothetical Teenager; June 11 2025

My upcoming novel is available on paperback for preorder! It’s wild – even when the ebook announcement came out, this didn’t feel nearly as real as it does now. I’m going to have a book that I wrote in my hands, tangible, out in the world.

I’ve always wanted this. As hard as I’m still fighting for another publication, for a book advance that could dig me out of my debt and help me provide for my kid, I feel like…

I don’t know, like I can finally say I’m an author. Like it’s legit now. It was legit before with my short story publications but this is still different.

I’m holding onto this feeling and using it as an opportunity to ‘take a break’ – meaning, I get to read instead of write all the time. Reading is still technically part of my job, yet every time I’ve tried to sit down and read something in the past couple years, my brain rejects it.

It’s always ‘you should be writing’. I can’t convince myself to do anything else with my time.

But maybe things are different now.

I used to do nothing but read, as a kid. As a teenager. I skipped classes in high school to go read (but if you knew me at that age then no I didn’t, I was a dedicated and rule-abiding student). Once, I played hooky all afternoon and spent that time at a bookstore, sitting on the floor and going through book after book. I didn’t have the money to buy anything, so I probably drove the employees crazy, but they never kicked me out.

So that’s what I picture now, knowing my book will be out in paperback. Some teenager browsing adult horror books even though they technically shouldn’t be, picking it up off the shelf. Reading it all in an afternoon.

I hope that hypothetical teenager likes it.

Jealousy; June 4 2025

Alright, so I finally got a chance to see the movie ‘Sinners’ and I swear, I felt more during that movie than I have in any piece of media in recent memory. I don’t have a single complaint about it.

One of the things it got me thinking about was community. The fact that, as a white person, I don’t really feel any sense of identity about it and I don’t have that connection that people of colour have with each other.

And that got me thinking about the only white communities I know of. They’re all about hating other groups of people.

What a miserable thing.

I don’t have any insights about it beyond that. I think, maybe, one of the reasons racism persists is because white people have taken so much but can never take away community. If anything, our oppression of other cultures makes community all the more important to them, and white people look on from atop their hoard with jealousy.

I don’t know, I’m sure there are white communities I just haven’t thought of. It probably also depends on where you are in the world, but in North America? I don’t know, maybe I’m onto something.

If I am, then the first step is almost certainly fostering community with each other based on love.

Kitten Vids; May 28 2025

I don’t think I’ve developed allergies, but I’m not displaying any signs of being sick other than congestion. I got little to no sleep last night because I couldn’t breathe even with my CPAP.

That, and Madame President had some serious zoomies. She usually understands that ‘lights out’ means I’m going to be asleep for the next eternity and keeps her mischief pretty quiet – not so, last night.

One great thing about having a kitten is that I finally feel like I have something to share with social media. My Instagram and Tiktok (because yes, I caved and got a Tiktok account) are flooded with kitten videos. I like that she can delight me and other people, just by her doing typical stupid kitten things.

It’s just nice.

In any case, I’m monitoring myself for symptoms and taking a Covid test. This is your reminder to mask in public! I know it sucks, but Covid is still rampant and the CDC can no longer be trusted to reflect accurate information, which is… You know. Terrifyingly dystopian.

Stay safe, all!

Trophy; May 21 2025

I’ve had to make some compromises with Madame President in order to get any work done. She gets to attack my hoodie strings, and I get to type. It’s working for us.

We just got back from her first vet visit, where the staff were lovely and Madame was proclaimed to be both perfectly healthy and the most adorable cat ever. I am pleased on both counts.

She doesn’t even weight a kilogram yet, she’s illegally small.

In working news, I finally got around to writing a short story that had been on the backburner of my brain for almost a year now. I plan on submitting it to a Toronto-based writing competition, so wish me luck! Winners would be getting a trophy, and.

And I really want a trophy, y’all.

Looking back, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a trophy for anything. I’ve accomplished things, and I think I maybe got a ribbon once or twice? But it’d be very cool to get a trophy, especially for something I’m truly passionate about.

I want to give it my best shot. So, here’s hoping.

Madame President; May 14 2025

Mkj          cccccccccc------------------------;;;;;;;;p

 

The above is a statement from Madame President.

Madame President is my new kitten!

She’s playful, extremely sweet, and took an immediate interest in my work. Or, my laptop. My kid is ecstatic; I didn’t tell her we were getting a kitten, yet she somehow guessed what was up the instant she got home from school.

I haven’t actually had a cat of my own in about ten years. I’ve lived with cats – my partner’s cats, my roommates’ cats – but none of them were mine. I was devastated with every break up and move, losing access to loving these kitties.

Madame President is safely mine. It’s a relief.

Incidentally, the name came from a joke of me wanting to say ‘Get down, Mr. President!’ every time the cat was up somewhere they shouldn’t be. Madame President has done right by The Bit by trying to climb on my CPAP machine.

And, as I was typing all this, she was trying to pounce on my keyboard, but within the past thirty seconds has fallen asleep.

Kittens are so fun. I adore her.

Cover Reveal; May 7 2025

It’s today!

It’s cover reveal day!

Pre-order The Other Face of Sympathy, which comes out September 9, 2025!