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in The United States



William S. Burroughs, Rozz Williams, Mark Twain, David Bowie, Dennis C ...more

Member Since
March 2013


Pseud: 19

I write transgressive gay fiction. Horror to some, erotica to others. Addictive and probably not at all good for your sanity or your immortal soul. Nothing about me is ever safe for work.

When I am not busy making you pretty nightmares I am playing with pointy things and spending time with my beloved family: a few zombies, a collection of poisonous plants, and two black cats.


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19 This is almost certainly a gentle and dar(l)ing sleeve-tug about Psychomotor Agitation: A Vivisection, isn't it?

I have drastically underestimated how…more
This is almost certainly a gentle and dar(l)ing sleeve-tug about Psychomotor Agitation: A Vivisection, isn't it?

I have drastically underestimated how much work this manuscript needs, and drastically overestimated my productivity and LUCK in the past year.

Short answer: no, honey, I'm very sorry, but I cannot predict or promise anything on Valentine's Day in 2016, no matter how intensely I wish I could. I would rather give you nothing than something clumsy and rushed and with money/sales/etc as the goal.

Those are lovely things, but I want much, much more than those lovely things.

PMA as it stands is almost a quarter of a million words long and I expect possibly as much as 50-100k more is needed, and THEN I still get to edit, correct, and polish that much book.

To put that into perspective, Hero's Torch (my longest at the moment) is 90k words long, and it reached that length from 60ish in SECOND draft. PMA is currently a first draft. This is Stephen King's IT, sort of, no arrogance or comparison beyond scope intended.

It's vast.

Keep in mind how mad you were to be assigned a 2000 word essay in school, and you will begin to see what I am facing.

I want to do this as well as I CAN do this. My beloved David deserves at least that much--and so do all of you, and frankly so do I.

Why do anything if you're going to half-ass it?

I am working as fast as I can. That is not very fast, but that is how fast it can go. I wish I could give you more immediate gratification, but I would rather overall make you grouchy in the short term and very (happy? lol) in the long term.

As much as I want this done quickly, I want this done RIGHT more than I want it done fast. So, honestly, do you, despite what your nerve endings are telling you.

This is sex, beloved dear: Do you want it quick and careless, or slower and more skilled? Anyone (with rudimentary skills anyway) can get you off......but how many have given you that orgasm you still stare into space and grin about years later?

I will do everything in my power to make sure this is worth your wait.(less)
19 Hello, dear! I'm glad you loved it. No one ever talks to me about that one, really, I can't decide whether no one reads it, no one likes it, or…moreHello, dear! I'm glad you loved it. No one ever talks to me about that one, really, I can't decide whether no one reads it, no one likes it, or they're afraid to mention it in public...

I miss being in Sphere-space very much. Following a supervillain (two, now, really?) around and recording what happens is so much fun it should be and probably is illegal.

Right now I'm kneedeep in Psychomotor Agitation editing, and this entire year has been incredibly slow and unproductive overall.

I wish I could give you a definite answer but the best I can do is: eventually. I have several more books worth of stories about them in my head, some that happen after HT and some that happen before it, but I don't exactly get to choose what I write next. I kind of have to write whatever is willing to be written at any given time. (less)
Average rating: 3.92 · 405 ratings · 126 reviews · 4 distinct worksSimilar authors

3.89 avg rating — 315 ratings — published 2013 — 6 editions
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Hero's Torch

3.90 avg rating — 60 ratings — published 2014 — 3 editions
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The Kingdom of Heaven

4.27 avg rating — 26 ratings — published 2014 — 3 editions
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Psychomotor Agitation: A Vi...

4.17 avg rating — 6 ratings
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* Note: these are all the books on Goodreads for this author. To add more, click here.

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Published on August 06, 2015 06:36 • 75 views

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Man, I did this already, where did I leave it? I'm not doing it again. Beautiful, but abstract. If you dig semi-non-representational art, prose-as-poetry, dreams that someone else dreams for you, check this out. If you like a little more concrete str ...more
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This is my second time through with this one, and again I'm finding myself walking away from the table still hungry. I'm unsure if I should proceed with the rest of the trilogy. Maybe Dick just isn't to my taste? (Ha, I had to.)

I came away with the
19 is starting The Wild Boys: Once again I find that Burroughs leaves me stricken and shaken, but like certain entheogens, unsure if what I have experienced is mere spectacle and collage, or the surface-scarf draped over a deeper meaning.

I'm kind of to the point where I think of non-linear Burroughs like no-singing Coil: I like it, but I prefer the linear (or vocal, in the case of Coil) pieces best.
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Haven't read any Barker - full of blood and gore I suppose? Or is it the subtle type? I can do subtle."

All the go
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The Scarlet Gospels by Clive Barker
"Bless Clive Barker, but this book is red-hot molten shit.

Alright, so, real talk. Hellbound Heart is a good book. It is an exquisitely intimate description of grand desires. In it, Barker already showcases two things: 1) He does not know when to st..." Read more of this review »
More of 19's books…
“Never run from anything immortal. It only attracts their attention.”
19, Psychomotor Agitation: A Vivisection

“I want to be the most terrible thing that's ever happened to you. Can you understand that? I want to be the only nightmare you ever have.”
19, Hero's Torch

“I cured you, didn't I? I told you, you'd never want another man again. And you haven't."
Erich realized that was probably as close to I love you as Kaltherzig would ever give him.”
19, Schadenfreude

“I mean, they say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time.”

“He has good taste for his budget.”
Luke Hartwell, Toller

“What is good? All that heightens the feeling of power, the will to power, power itself. What is bad? All that is born of weakness. What is happiness? The feeling that power is growing, that resistance is overcome.”
Friedrich Nietzsche

“You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.”
Ray Bradbury, Zen in the Art of Writing

“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

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message 10: by 19

19 Lena♥Ribka wrote: "Happy birthday, dear!


(hug) Thank you! And yay for no-calorie cake!

Lena♥Ribka Happy birthday, dear!

Willow Madison Thank you for all your help with my print covers! I could *not* have done that without you. Seriously - I would've chopped my a$$ into tiny bits and tossed me overboard as chum with the back/forth. Your patience is legendary and your creative magick is bountiful!!!!

I would shout to the rooftops to any indie author looking to get a book into print to contact you asap for help!!! You took my kindle cover and made it perfect for print - joy joy joy.


Lena♥Ribka You know how your next days will look like? :)

message 6: by Lena♥Ribka (last edited Dec 23, 2015 11:36AM)

Lena♥Ribka 19 wrote: "Lena♥Ribka wrote: "Merry Christmas and Happy...
Clearly someone divided by zero. XD. (hug) To you too, dear."

I'd name it"multiplication" :)

message 5: by 19

19 Lena♥Ribka wrote: "Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday to you!


Clearly someone divided by zero. XD. (hug) To you too, dear.

message 4: by Lena♥Ribka (last edited Dec 24, 2015 03:27AM)

Lena♥Ribka Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday to you!

message 3: by Sofia

Sofia I'm well thanks, busy with work, books, etc. I guessed that you must have been busy and hope that the P book is behaving itself :)

message 2: by 19

19 Of course, dear. I'm sorry we haven't spoken in awhile. My life is generally insane. How have you been?

message 1: by Sofia

Sofia Thanks for accepting :)

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