Lynn M. Dixon's Blog, page 59

What’s In A Name?

Shakespeare wrote,” What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”  But, here, I beg to differ.  I believe that names are everything.

Many parents carefully choose names for their children that have great meaning.  They want to call forth an idea or a particular noble trait that they would like to see manifest in their child’s life.  And, oftentimes, children are named for beloved family members to honor their memories and legacies.

In some cultures, there are naming ceremonies and blessings are bestowed upon the newborn. The family takes all of the steps to hopefully reassure the little one with a good, protected life.

We hear our names almost daily and on some days, we hear them repeatedly throughout the day.  Each time it is spoken, a silent quality is being called forth.

That is one of the reasons that I am intrigued by the dictionaries of names.  There are so many adjectives listed to describe a name’s meaning and when I look up someone’s name, I am often amazed to see how their personal qualities link to the descriptors given for that name.

I took a lot of time before I named the major characters in my books and my mother and I did the research for Phoenix and Tyre.  Their parents, Elisha and Septima were also carefully chosen but at a later time. We know that the Phoenix bird dies daily and is reborn the next morning.

My character, Phoenix has a lot to overcome and she’s constantly trying to work on herself to become a more understanding and flexible person.

Tyre, on the other hand, formerly went by the nickname of Trey.  As Trey, he was not as responsible as he should have been. Once his father reminds him of the meaning of his given name, Tyre, he starts to use it.  It means rock, power and wealth. Thus, his life improves on many levels as he finds his center of strength and acts more responsibly.

I chose Phoenix’s mother’s name after seeing a picture of Septima Clark. She was an educator and activist and to me her pose epitomized wisdom.  Phoenix’s mother, Septima, exudes wisdom and is very patient with her daughter as she gently guides her and allows her to think out loud in her presence.

Elisha, Tyre’s father was given a Biblical name.  This prophet was known for his diplomacy.  His name means power, and one that helps to deliver.  Elisha offers his steady, firm hand of guidance as he assists his son on his turbulent journey.

None of the names of the characters were chosen by happenstance.  All of them have names that have been researched or are the names of family, friends or people who I have met along the way.  The names were distinctly chosen to match the traits of the characters.

Names are of the utmost importance and I think that it helps if one can find that name in a dictionary of names. Then, there will be a wonderful list of attributes to emulate as one works towards becoming all that one can be!

Lynn M.

September 6, 2015

Gratitude Pages

Are we grateful with what we already have?  We read and hear about what is wrong with so many people or situations.  The lessons of several of my spiritual teachers have reminded me to count my blessings.  We learned that as children, but we are in such a hurry these days.  We rarely slow down long enough to see what has already been given to us.

Lewis Carroll wrote, “The hurrier I go, the behinder I get?”  When we pause or stop the heightened activity, the reflection time will reveal what has already occurred and taken place.  We can strike some of those items off of our wants list because we now have them.  Mission accomplished.

I often write Gratitude Pages.  I usually write them at the end of the day.  I might use a legal pad or a special journal, but I date and list the positive things that happened during the course of the day.

It may be a small thing, like an ideal parking space.  Or maybe, a parking space period.  It could be dry weather or peace in the home.  It could be something as small as a good cup of coffee with the right cream on hand.  Those of us that drink coffee know that it tastes better on some days, than on others.

We may give thanks for a job that we are not that particularly fond of because it pays the bills.  And usually, there is at least one coworker who makes us laugh which makes going to work more tolerable.

Even hearing a wonderful song that transports us into a better frame of mind or happier mood is something that we could add to our Gratitude Page.  We take so many little things for granted each day like leaving home and returning safely.

I have found that once I start my list of things that I am grateful for during a day, the list keeps growing and growing.  Items such as cheery hellos from neighbors or the celebration of another birthday are reasons to give hearty thanks.

We should be grateful when we wake up each morning and can get up and start a new day.  It means that we have another opportunity to problem solve and work on getting it right.  Albertina Walker sang a song called, I’m Still Here.  We can chime in and give continual recognition to what is going right in our personal worlds. This helps minimize the negative as we focus on what is being given to us on a daily basis. And now that we  are more graciously aware, we can rest assured that more good is definitely on its way!

Lynn M.

September 4, 2015

Dr. Wayne Dyer

I first met Wayne Dyer through his book Your Erroneous Zones.  I am quite sure that my mother made the referral and I remember him saying that security is when you can handle anything coming down the pike.  Those may not be the exact words but they had great meaning for me at a time when I had just moved to a new city for graduate school.  Those words were reassuring as I sought a sense of security in my new surroundings.

In that same book, he used a parable about a dog that was chasing its tail and going around and around.  Someone tells the dog to just walk in a straight line and its tail would follow.  As in life, if we mind our own business, our affairs will fall into place.

Wayne Dyer.  Oh, what can I say about this great sage?  Well, for one, we were both born in the city of Detroit.  That captured my attention and that was an automatic link for me.  He had an abusive stepfather and when the family broke up, he spent some years in foster care.  His mother was later able to pull the family back together.  But, look at the creativity that came out of the chaos! He wrote over 30 books during his lifetime.  He gave countless workshops throughout the world and his PBS specials left many feeling richer and more confident about their destinies.

I was fortunate enough to see him in the late 90’s in Rosemont, Illinois at a conference.  I did not have the opportunity to hear him speak, but I saw him standing in the doorway of the ballroom as we listened to Stuart Wilde.  I remember his glistening eyes which silently said that he had found some sacred secrets to the keys of an abundant life.

On more than one occasion, when I was feeling low or my outcome was looking bleak, I would  channel surf and there Dyer would be- standing and giving an encouraging talk.  His PBS specials were very thorough and if part of it was missed, it would definitely be aired over and over again. There would be plenty of time to absorb all that he had to share with his viewers.

I felt as if I knew him because he was a part of my life for several decades.  I didn’t read all of his books, but those that I did read are still etched in my mind.  At another low point in my life, when I was not happy with where I lived, he reminded me to bless my roof and space. That helped me and I continued to count my blessings and I later reached higher ground.

He lived in Maui and his descriptions made me decide to use the island of Maui at end of my book, Warm Intrigues.  My two characters, Tyre and Phoenix, fly there for their honeymoon. I have not been there yet, but I envisioned it from his talks and I took a few virtual tours to better write about that setting.

Dyer passed in Maui, a place where he found great solace, on August 29, 2015 at the age of 75.   I would like to thank Dr. Wayne Dyer for helping to shape my life and my trains of thought.  His books, his speeches and his talks have truly turned on the light in my life!

Lynn M.

September 1, 2015

Sign of the Times

Here we are in twenty-fifteen,

Refocus those lenses. Stay keen!

As disturbing events unfold,

Explanations cannot be told.

Tighten those holds. Simply grip,

Making sure that you do not slip.

Breathe. Sigh. Lean in. Fall into shape,

Stand silently. Mouths, not agape.

Wise ones! Pick up those spiritual books,

Find those quiet spaces and nooks.

Recall those teachings as a child,

From parents who were not that mild.

Smart ones, revisit their young ages,

Pull out those lessons from the sages.

Look for those sure, silver linings,

Keep unraveling those bindings.

Press down, grab ahold and hang tight,

Rest, but clinch with all of your might!

Lynn M.

August 31, 2015

Growth!

I am currently reading the classic Babbitt by Sinclair Lewis.  I thought it was a light-hearted humorous piece about a pompous real estate salesman who prided himself on having it all together.  He lives in the perfect part of the town; belongs to all of the right clubs; teaches Sunday School at a respectable church and is a devoted family man.

But something happens to George Babbitt which shakes him to the core and he begins to see life in a different way.  He suddenly becomes more compassionate towards the union strikers, who his club members see as thugs.  He has an affair which he had never done before and he falls in with a seedy group of people.  Babbitt becomes a smoker and regular drinker. Those around him are highly disturbed and his wife decides to go away to her sister’s for a while.

I have not finished the book, but this Nobel Prize for Literature author has me thinking.  I was more than halfway into the book before all of the shocking events unfolded.  I thought I would simply muddle through this satire, but now, Babbitt is questioning himself and his once neatly ordered life.

Babbitt was simply growing.  And, that is what happens when we outgrow former things and people as we evolve.  We no longer fit in with the old circles and, as in Babbitt’s case, people are generally outraged.  His associates felt that he was acting strangely.  His behavior became a topic of conversation because people don’t like it when we no longer fit into the old molds.  It makes them uncomfortable and it may force them to take a hard look at some of their own life choices.

Just this morning, I looked at a plant that I planted at least five years ago with a group of second graders from my former school.  I could not believe how it had grown!  In fact, I did not know that it had the capability to grow that large!  In my old residence, it merely survived; but now in a new environment, it has taken on a life of its own and is growing out of its pot.

Before Babbitt’s metamorphosis, his views on life were quite narrow.  But events that involved Paul, his close friend, upset the status quo and he was forced to widen his outlook.  The blinders were removed and he was saw people’s situations from more varying points of view.

He tried to rub shoulders with those in higher echelons and they looked down on him and his station. Ultimately, it made him more tolerant of those who had less than he had acquired in his life.  And that is what true growth does.  It opens or eyes and ears and gives us the patience to let others have their say and yield out of their way.  We simply observe, perceive what is happening and adjust our lenses to emit more light for a greater understanding.

Lynn M.                                                                                                                       August 28, 2015

Common Courtesies

Thought.  Have we become such a fast-paced society that we don’t have time to say thanks, merci or gracias. Years ago, it was an automatic response to time well-spent; a consideration shown; or listening ear loaned.

But it seems that now it is more of a gulp as one hurriedly eats.  We take in others’ efforts to accommodate and swallow it down leaving a void and vacuum where there had once been something.  And too often, there is no thank you nor even an acknowledgement.

There was a time when even applicants for a job were acknowledged for their efforts to get the resume there on time and certainly for making it to an interview if one was on the agenda.  I remember having to borrow money for gas to get to an interview or even borrow the right blouse to try to make that connecting impression.

At least then, even if you were not the chosen candidate, there was a letter or email that said thank you for your time and most often your dime.  Money will have to be spent to get there, one way or the other.  It could be for gas or a new outfit and heaven forbid, if you flew to an interview in another city and paid for it out of your own pocket.  Oops.  Not to mention the hotel because sleeping in the airport would not work. Shucks, tag on that cab fare and yep, you had to eat. Add: long –term parking in your home airport lot.

And then?  No response.  Nada.  No email saying thanks for coming in to sit with us.  No closing the deal to say that JoJo got the job, but thanks for spending your time and several dimes to attempt to work for our establishment.

Those used to be considered to be common courtesies that came with the territory of hiring and interviewing practices.  Oversights are difficult when they come from family and friends but there is a degree of leeway for forgiveness with them. After all, you know them and their shortcomings. But with companies and corporations, that is simply unacceptable. Period.

Certainly, we are not that busy or in a hurry to turn over the next deal.  And where are the gatekeepers? Are we not teaching the young professionals how to do business?  There should be guidelines and really no one should have to say, “You should have done this.”  Common acknowledgements should not be an afterthought.  It should not be, “Oh yeah, I should have….”

Let us slow down and make sure we extend those common courtesies and acknowledgements to those who have responded to a request that we threw out there.  Even a job posting states that there is a need for some type of service.  To hear nothing is not okay.  We really did learn what we needed to know a long time ago as author Robert Fulghum reminds us in All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.  We just think that no one is watching when we are rude and insensitive.

And in our dealings with those in our close circles, lack of saying thanks is asking to be put into some newer circles or out of the throngs of those who are most beneficial to our lives.  Robert Fulghum says it best when he said, ”Speed and efficiency do not always increase the quality of life.”

Lynn M.

August 26, 2015

Pause!

When in doubt, pause and just wait.

Don’t jump and grab the first bait!

The right answers will align,

Often coming with a sign.

Clarity will show the path,

Let the Divine do the math.

All will become crystal clear,

The road to take is quite near.

It will quickly be revealed,

Wait. Be still. Keep those lips sealed.

Lynn M.

August 25, 2015

Above the Fray

In life, sometimes we have to adjust our altitudes.  Just as planes go higher to avoid the turbulent skies, we must follow suit and go up a little higher. The ruckus or choppy weather is still happening but we are less affected by it because we have found smoother airwaves.

When events are tumultuous in the lives of our loved ones and friends, we truly want to be of assistance.  But we cannot be a guiding force if we are like Elvis sang,  All Shook Up. So, we find calmer, thinner air and at some point we come to a rest.

We perch with an aerial view as we assess and see what is really going on.  We quietly wait until we have gathered the facts and make a plan for later re-entry into the fray.  While perched, we prepare.

And how will we do that?

We spend a lot of time in the silence.
We meditate, pray or use varied methods to connect to our Higher Power.
We read.
We gather information or data.
We spend time reflecting on our thoughts.
We take copious notes and jot down whatever is revealed.
We formulate a plan of action.
We add at least a couple of alternative  or back-up plans to Plan A.
We anticipate possible scenarios and dialogues.
We make a list mock responses to prepare for counterattacks.
We get good nights of sleep.
We eat healthy foods.
We exercise.
We breathe and take deep breaths to refresh our lungs.
We vow as Catherine Ponder said in Millionaire Joshua, “To keep our cool emotionally.”

And then, we flap our wings.  We gain momentum. We become airborne. We descend.  We affirm, “Going in.” And we fly down to meet the situation head on feeling assured that there will be a victory because, we are equipped!

Lynn M.

August 23, 2015

Catching Up on the Classics!

In high school, we are often introduced to the watered-down version of several classics.  Many of us hated them and wondered why they were considered to be important or great as we muddled through them for a passing grade.

Now, that I am older and wiser, I would tell students that this is a time to simply be introduced to great books.  I would remind them that they will taste better as the students age and mature. They can be revisited later.

Over the past few summers, when I’ve had the extra time, I have picked up some of those laborious reads.  I remember my mother and sister having this huge struggle over Wuthering Heights.  My sister hated it and my mother was trying to get her to get through it so she could pass.   As a child, I thought, “This must be the worst book ever!”  And when I did read it?  (As an adult, of course.) I loved it!  It is one of the greatest love stories ever told along with its twisting and winding parts.

The website, Goodreads, asks its members, “What are you currently reading?”  Well, right now, I have just started Babbitt for which Sinclair Lewis won the Nobel Prize in Literature.  His choice of words and colorful descriptions are keeping me engaged.  Also, it is not ridiculously long and I am enjoying his artistic form which is sprinkled with bits of wit and humor.

I finished A Room with a View by E.M. Forster earlier this week.  The pace was quite slow, but I felt as if I was walking along with Lucy and her traveling party when they were visiting Florence and Rome.   A lot of the plot centers around a stolen kiss, which must have been a big deal back then and it caused quite an uproar to those who knew about it.  Yet, it did help Lucy in choosing the right mate when she dropped Cecil and added George to the equation. Outside of the plot itself, I also looked at Forster’s simplistic writing style and his method of storytelling.

In the last few years, I have caught up on these classics:  All Quiet on the Western Front (Remarque); Anna Karenina (Tolstoy); Dr. Zhivago (Pasternak); Les Miserables (Hugo) and spent one entire summer reading Hemingway.  That included The Sun Also Rises; Farewell to Arms and For Whom the Bell Tolls. I traveled from the WWI battlefield to the streets of St. Petersburg to snowy Russia to the French landscape on to hanging out with the partying Roaring 20’s expatriates and the running of the bulls in Spain.

Each of these timeless novels has revealed so much about life. They have shown the universality of all people. I could see more deeply into the situations that the writers shared because I had more life experiences. The plots were memorable but I also noted all of the unique writing styles. These have helped me to further develop as a writer.  I am happy that I had the time to take an adult look and recognize why these books are considered to be great.

Lynn M.

August 21, 2015

Encouraging Songs!

Songs can encourage us to proceed as we take the next steps on our walk down Fate’s path.  There is a design and we don’t necessarily have access to that hidden plan; but just as we approach a stop sign, we put our foot on the brakes, look both ways and move forward with caution.

All generations have had songs to help them ‘keep on keeping on’ even when they could not see what was ahead.  I just heard a song on the radio which had me feeling uplifted called, Yes You Can by Marvin Sapp.  I was bobbing my head along and I felt as if I could handle whatever was coming down the pike.

During the turbulent 60’s, Curtis Mayfield reminded his listeners to Keep on Pushing.  I played this for my 8th grade students because I knew that they were navigating the emotions that come with teenage angst along with battling the mean streets of the inner city.  They listened and had the words to really get the message.

Another song that helped me motivate them was Tupac’s Keep your Head Up.  I looked for ways to reach them in a language that they could understand.  I feel that my efforts were appreciated.

Once when I was working in an office setting, these guys came in and they were obviously facing some challenge.  They said, “Let’s sing the Fight Song.”  I laughed and imagined that they were probably former college football players. It got them pumped up for their battle ahead.

In one of my books, the librarian, Phoenix is feeling quite low because a job change is inevitable.  Yet, when she hears the young children singing, You’ll Never Walk Alone, it touches her deeply and she feels like going on. There are many renditions to that song, but we had the one and only Roy Hamilton’s version while we were growing up.

There are so many songs that keep us inspired when the road ahead looks bleak.  Years ago, the Tempting T’s, an affectionate name for the group The Temptations, sang Keep on Walking, Don’t Look Back. That encouraged a lot of people by reminding them that they should keep it moving.

And lastly, Donnie McClurkin took me to work on many days and as he soothed and reassured me when he sang, We Fall Down and the lyrics continue, “But we get back up again!”

Where would the world be without the music?  Songs keeps us balanced, grounded and inspired as we stay on the life train and keep chugging along.

Lynn M.

August 18, 2015