Mari Collier's Blog - Posts Tagged "life-and-death"
My Slightly Wacky Family
An incident on Facebook reminded me how much my family loved to argue. Perhaps the lack of television and such things as cellphones meant that we had to interacted so much with each other. Everything was up for discussion: memories, politics, events heard on the radio, what we had read, and history. We could discuss religion, but it that would be centered on the leaders of the day or yesteryear. We did not argue about what we believed or what was in the Word of God,
The discussions could become quite loud with one or more pounding the table to emphasize their point. Once the discussion was over or there was an interruption, the participants would be back to laughing and joking.
We did not take umbrage or have our feelings hurt that someone we loved disagreed with our position. We were all individuals and all of us had egos enough to know we were right no matter what the other person believed.
When we played Monopoly or Pinochle, it would be the same loud pattern of talking and laughing. My oldest sister-by-marriage fit right into the group. After all, it was her father that broke a little finger when trumping a hand with the last card played. In fact, it was downright brutal playing with Edna and my father. Both of them would remember every card melded or played.
I cannot see that happening in today’s world. If you happen to express an opinion different from someone else, they don’t say, “I disagree with you, but support your right to have your own opinion.” Oh, no! Someone would go home angry and the participants would never speak to one another again. To make their statement even more final, they would probably unfriend them on Facebook and say it is because they do not suffer fools. To me, they are both behaving as fools. One thing we did not do was insult the intelligence of the other for believing as they did. We believed everyone had a right to their own opinion.
My mother’s family was perhaps louder and more raucous than my father’s family, but that didn't mean they did not have arguments. They just didn't yell as loud or laugh as loud, except my father. His voice would carry for miles and his laughter infect everyone around him.
My husband and one sister-by-marriage were more Southern in heritage. They were completely baffled by my family’s loud shenanigans. Once when some of my maternal relatives from Iowa were visiting there must have been close to twenty people in our living room and we were all having a great time. My husband and said sister-by-marriage escaped to the outside. They couldn't handle the noise we were all making. Thank goodness the neighbors didn't complain.
It was impossible to get Lanny (my husband) into a heated discussion. In his family, people came to blows if the argument became that loud. We always discussed things, but heated discussions were out. The type of argument I so enjoyed didn’t happen. It seems strange now as people are reluctant to even discuss issues.
The last time I had a really good, rousing argument was the November I went back to Iowa. My father was in the hospital and not expected to live. I stayed with my cousin at her home. My cousin would drop me off at the hospital in the morning. I would sit with Papa until late afternoon when she would pick me up on her way home.
For Thanksgiving, my cousin and husband had been invited to a friend’s home and they took me along. Did I mention that I’m Lutheran and so are my cousin and her husband. I even taught Sunday School one morning at their church. The people that were throwing the Thanksgiving dinner were Catholics and there was a Catholic priest in attendance. This meant he was a Democrat and, of course, I was a Republican.
The era was that of the Reagan Presidency and Nancy Reagan was busy redecorating the White House. He made a disparaging remark about Mrs. Reagan and the money she was spending. I said, “Wait a minute, she is using donations, not tax payer funds like Jackie Kennedy did. The battle was on when someone mentioned seeing it on a television show about the Kennedy’s and the Priest made mockery of me watching television.
I promptly informed him I had not watched that show and that the funds for Mrs. Kennedy had been granted by an Act of Congress. The battle progressed from there and somehow the Republicans and the South were included when he said, “the Reconstruction Act of 1865 and I corrected him by saying that the Act was not passed until 1867. By this time we were pounding the table and all the other guests were moving away. We realized it was time to stop.
Later the priest stopped by and apologized. He had looked up when the Reconstruction Act was passed. He must have used their encyclopedias and there was no Google Search then, let alone an Ask Jeeves. He admitted that he would have to look the other up and apparently I knew history. Fortunately, my cousins laughed about the incident on the way home.
They were truly super to have let me stay so long. What a blessing to have family like that. Thanks, Wanda and Don.
I had called my brothers and advised them that Papa could not last much longer. My oldest brother and wife arrived and so did one of my boisterous maternal cousins and his wife. My cousin Wanda and Don went to visit family in Missouri and my oldest brother and wife stayed at their home too. The other couple stayed at a motel and then left the next day. My brother, his wife, and I remained and were with Papa when he stopped breathing.
The discussions could become quite loud with one or more pounding the table to emphasize their point. Once the discussion was over or there was an interruption, the participants would be back to laughing and joking.
We did not take umbrage or have our feelings hurt that someone we loved disagreed with our position. We were all individuals and all of us had egos enough to know we were right no matter what the other person believed.
When we played Monopoly or Pinochle, it would be the same loud pattern of talking and laughing. My oldest sister-by-marriage fit right into the group. After all, it was her father that broke a little finger when trumping a hand with the last card played. In fact, it was downright brutal playing with Edna and my father. Both of them would remember every card melded or played.
I cannot see that happening in today’s world. If you happen to express an opinion different from someone else, they don’t say, “I disagree with you, but support your right to have your own opinion.” Oh, no! Someone would go home angry and the participants would never speak to one another again. To make their statement even more final, they would probably unfriend them on Facebook and say it is because they do not suffer fools. To me, they are both behaving as fools. One thing we did not do was insult the intelligence of the other for believing as they did. We believed everyone had a right to their own opinion.
My mother’s family was perhaps louder and more raucous than my father’s family, but that didn't mean they did not have arguments. They just didn't yell as loud or laugh as loud, except my father. His voice would carry for miles and his laughter infect everyone around him.
My husband and one sister-by-marriage were more Southern in heritage. They were completely baffled by my family’s loud shenanigans. Once when some of my maternal relatives from Iowa were visiting there must have been close to twenty people in our living room and we were all having a great time. My husband and said sister-by-marriage escaped to the outside. They couldn't handle the noise we were all making. Thank goodness the neighbors didn't complain.
It was impossible to get Lanny (my husband) into a heated discussion. In his family, people came to blows if the argument became that loud. We always discussed things, but heated discussions were out. The type of argument I so enjoyed didn’t happen. It seems strange now as people are reluctant to even discuss issues.
The last time I had a really good, rousing argument was the November I went back to Iowa. My father was in the hospital and not expected to live. I stayed with my cousin at her home. My cousin would drop me off at the hospital in the morning. I would sit with Papa until late afternoon when she would pick me up on her way home.
For Thanksgiving, my cousin and husband had been invited to a friend’s home and they took me along. Did I mention that I’m Lutheran and so are my cousin and her husband. I even taught Sunday School one morning at their church. The people that were throwing the Thanksgiving dinner were Catholics and there was a Catholic priest in attendance. This meant he was a Democrat and, of course, I was a Republican.
The era was that of the Reagan Presidency and Nancy Reagan was busy redecorating the White House. He made a disparaging remark about Mrs. Reagan and the money she was spending. I said, “Wait a minute, she is using donations, not tax payer funds like Jackie Kennedy did. The battle was on when someone mentioned seeing it on a television show about the Kennedy’s and the Priest made mockery of me watching television.
I promptly informed him I had not watched that show and that the funds for Mrs. Kennedy had been granted by an Act of Congress. The battle progressed from there and somehow the Republicans and the South were included when he said, “the Reconstruction Act of 1865 and I corrected him by saying that the Act was not passed until 1867. By this time we were pounding the table and all the other guests were moving away. We realized it was time to stop.
Later the priest stopped by and apologized. He had looked up when the Reconstruction Act was passed. He must have used their encyclopedias and there was no Google Search then, let alone an Ask Jeeves. He admitted that he would have to look the other up and apparently I knew history. Fortunately, my cousins laughed about the incident on the way home.
They were truly super to have let me stay so long. What a blessing to have family like that. Thanks, Wanda and Don.
I had called my brothers and advised them that Papa could not last much longer. My oldest brother and wife arrived and so did one of my boisterous maternal cousins and his wife. My cousin Wanda and Don went to visit family in Missouri and my oldest brother and wife stayed at their home too. The other couple stayed at a motel and then left the next day. My brother, his wife, and I remained and were with Papa when he stopped breathing.
