Jon Gordon's Blog, page 4

How to Deal with an Energy Vampire

The most frequent question I have received over the years is how to deal with an Energy Vampire. I’ve also received many stories and solutions from people who read The Energy Bus and took action. Some successfully transformed them. Others let them go so they could no longer sabotage the team. And some unfortunately abused their power by labeling anyone who disagreed with them an Energy Vampire (I don’t recommend this and it’s not in the book).

I’ve learned a lot from these people and have garnered lessons from their successes and mistakes. In this spirit I wanted to share some thoughts about how to deal with an Energy Vampire (EV):

First and foremost, love them. No one really wants to be an Energy Vampire. He/she is likely negative for a reason. The first step should always be to love, understand and transform. For example, Martin, from the company Seventh Generation, told me that he put a sign on his door that said Energy Vampires Welcome. Expect to be filled up with positive energy.
While I love Martin’s approach, I also know from personal experience and the work I do with teams and organizations that not every EV is willing to change. If your efforts to transform an EV are not successful and they are sabotaging the team and organization then they should be let off "the bus."
If you don’t like the thought of letting people off the bus you are not alone. That’s why I always tell leaders and managers that you won’t have to let EV’s off the bus if you create a positive culture where EV’s are uncomfortable being negative. If you create a strong, positive culture that attracts positive people, fosters positive communication and generates positive energy, the EV’s who are unwilling to change will walk off the bus themselves because they don’t fit in. Energy Vampires don’t like the light.
The best way to deal with Energy Vampires in your organization is at the culture level where you set the expectation that people who drain the energy of others will not be tolerated. Mark Richt, the head football coach of the University of Georgia, did this with his football team three years ago. He had all his players read The Energy Bus and had an artist draw a huge picture of an Energy Vampire on the wall of their team meeting room. Any time a player was being an EV they put the player’s picture on the wall. No one wanted to be on the wall. In essence, Coach Richt was telling his team that we will not allow negativity to sabotage our team and goals. While I don’t recommend business leaders and school principals utilize the Energy Vampire on the Wall strategy I do believe they must make it clear that negativity that drains others and sabotages team performance is not acceptable. Leaders / managers / coaches / principals must create a positive work environment where their people can do their best work without being affected by an EV.
If you are not a leader or manager and you’re not in a position to define the culture or hire and fire people you are likely wondering what you should do if you have an EV on your team or in your office. In this case you can influence your team and office culture by sharing The Energy Bus with your manager/leader and encouraging them to utilize it to create a positive culture. I’ve witnessed many organizational transformations simply because an employee shared The Energy Bus with a leader and the leader invited everyone on the bus. Please know I’m not trying to be promotional here. People tell me all the time that The Energy Bus is an effective tool that creates a common language for organizations to talk about and address negativity. Since it’s a tool that works I believe in helping others use it. You can read some quotes about it here.
If you are not a manager or leader and you have EV’s on your team or in your office it’s also important that you decide to be more positive than the negativity your face. A simple rule is: Your positive energy must be greater than all the negativity.
If you encounter Energy Vampires in your daily life remember Gandhi’s words "I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet."
If you have a personal friend or a friend at work who is an EV you may decide to talk to them about their negativity. If you have a strong relationship with them and they know you care about them, they may be open to your advice. But remember Energy Vampires can’t see their own reflection. They may not realize they are an Energy Vampire. Proceed with caution if you decide to go this route. And if you do, do it with love.
If you have a neighbor that is an EV and it’s one of those days where you just don’t want their negativity to impact you, run away as fast as you can when you see them. Just say you have something in the oven. : )
Finally, if you have Energy Vampires lurking in your family I recommend you become a positive force of positive energy that demonstrates to others what real positivity, in the form of love, patience, kindness, and care, looks like. Honestly it’s something I’m still working on myself. It’s not easy but it’s worth the effort.

How do you deal with an Energy Vampire? Share your success strategy here on our blog (comment below), Facebook, or Twitter.

The Carpenter – A Wall Street Journal Best-Seller

Thank you for all your support! Because of you The Carpenter made the Wall Street Journal Best-Seller list. We appreciate you!

9 Ways to Show You Care

Caring is one of the greatest success strategies of all. When you care people are drawn to you and want to work with you. When you care you stand out in world where many don’t seem to care. But caring must be more than just a feeling to have an impact. It must be demonstrated through your actions. In this spirit here are 9 ways to show you care. I also invite you to add to the list by posting on my blog (comment below) and Facebook page. I want to know how you show you care.

1. Be present. We have so many responsibilities and distractions that it’s tempting to listen to customers, friends, kids, etc. with only one ear (or half an ear!). You know how it goes: you make the appropriate noises during a client call (“Mmmhmmm… I understand… No, that won’t be a problem…) while simultaneously typing an email to someone else. That’s why giving someone your full attention is so meaningful. Being fully present says, “I really care about you and what you need from me. You are my top priority right now.”

2. Make it simple and clear. People are busier than ever and the more you can make their lives easier the more it shows you care about them and their time. Whether you are making technology easy to use, or simplifying the check in process at a hospital or making it easier to rent a car, simplifying says you care and creates raving fans.

3. Call customers by name. When interacting with a customer, ask his/her name – then remember it and use it. Referring to someone by name demonstrates that you see them as an individual with unique needs and preferences, as opposed to “just a number” or a source of income.

4. Listen more than you talk. When dealing with others many of us have a tendency to give sales pitches, explain company policies or give canned advice. Instead you should ask questions and listen to what they have to say. This lets them know you care about them and their thoughts. It also helps you better understand their concerns so you can help them. I’ve certainly been working on this as a parent. It’s not easy but it makes a difference.

5. Become a coach. More than ever customers wanted to be guided through the process when making a significant purchase. By coaching and guiding customers through the process you will earn their trust and let them know you care about them and their purchase. In a world where many things can be purchased online, the biggest differentiator is often a person who cares.

6. Respond quickly and touch base often. It’s simple: Return calls and emails promptly. Whenever possible, try not to leave any unanswered emails or voicemails overnight. And be proactive with updates, too. Don’t force a client to get in touch with you in order to learn the status of an order, for instance. Send daily or weekly updates – whatever is appropriate. We at the Jon Gordon Companies fail at this sometimes but it’s something I am always preaching to my team about and we always own it and improve because of it.

7. Don’t make it all about business. If you don’t treat people like a number they won’t treat you like a number. Make an effort to learn about return clients on a personal level as well as a professional one, and follow up on what you discover. If you know that an individual recently had an important event – a wedding, birthday, or even a big presentation – ask how it went. People are surprised and pleased when you remember what’s going on with them – precisely because the assumption today is that most people don’t care about what’s going on outside their own bubbles.

8. Focus on the details. A Starbucks executive was asked why they were so successful. He said that they do a hundred things 10 percent better than their competition. When you care everyone matters and everything matters. By focusing on the details such as clean bathrooms in a restaurant or clean sheets and extra towels at a hotel, it lets your customers know that you care.

9. Always go the extra mile. Constantly look for ways to make the service you provide just a little bit better. Even one percent more time, energy, or focus can make a big difference. Even something small like walking a customer to the door after checking them out or spending extra time with a student if you are a teacher or calling a patient after they visit your health clinic means a lot. For example, Oceanside Cleaners near my home replaces missing buttons on my dress shirts at no extra charge. It’s the little things that mean a lot.

The Grass Isn’t Greener

We often think that the grass will be greener somewhere else.

We believe we’ll be happier and more successful anywhere but where we are.

And so we pursue happiness and chase success thinking one day we will magically find them. But rarely will we find happiness and success by seeking them.

I’ve learned if you want success you can’t chase it. Instead you must decide to make a difference where you are… and success will find you. – Tweet That

I’ve learned if you want to find happiness don’t seek it. Instead decide to work with passion and purpose… and happiness will find you. – Tweet That

Too many people want instant success and gratification right now! Too many athletes want to be traded because they think they’ll be more successful on another team. Too many employees complain that their co-workers aren’t working hard enough and this affects their own performance. Too many sales people compare themselves to others and become frustrated and disengaged. Too many people worry about what everyone else is doing instead of focusing on what they are doing. Too many people run from challenges instead of developing stronger roots.

If you are like me, you’ve been one of these people. Most of us have at one time or another. It’s human nature after all.

That’s why I want to encourage you not to worry about things you can’t control. Don’t run away from where you are in the hope of finding greener pastures.

Instead plant yourself like a Seed each day and invest your time and energy growing yourself and others. When you plant yourself where you are with a passionate desire to make a difference you’ll grow into the influencer you were born to be.

The greenest pasture is not somewhere else. It’s the place where you plant yourself and create a great environment for growth. When you do this, you’ll produce an abundant harvest filled with real success and true happiness.

Do you agree that the grass isn’t greener? Join the conversation by leaving a comment below, on Facebook Page, or Twitter.

-Jon

20 Ways to Get Mentally Tough at Work, in Sports and Life

1. When you face a setback, think of it as a defining moment that will lead to a future accomplishment.

2. When you encounter adversity, remember, the best don’t just face adversity; they embrace it, knowing it’s not a dead end but a detour to something greater and better.

3. When you face negative people, know that the key to life is to stay positive in the face of negativity, not in the absence of it. After all, everyone will have to overcome negativity to define themselves and create their success.

4. When you face the naysayer’s, remember the people who believed in you and spoke positive words to you.

5. When you face critics, remember to tune them out and focus only on being the best you can be.

6. When you wake up in the morning, take a morning walk of gratitude and prayer. It will create a fertile mind ready for success.

7. When you fear, trust. Let your faith be greater than your doubt.

8. When you fail, find the lesson in it, and then recall a time when you have succeeded.

9. When you head into battle, visualize success.

10. When you are thinking about the past or worrying about the future, instead focus your energy on the present moment. The now is where your power is the greatest.

11. When you want to complain, instead identify a solution.

12. When your own self-doubt crowds your mind, weed it and replace it with positive thoughts and positive self-talk.

13. When you feel distracted, focus on your breathing, observe your surroundings, clear your mind, and get into The Zone. The Zone is not a random event. It can be created.

14. When you feel all is impossible, know that with God all things are possible.

15. When you feel alone, think of all the people who have helped you along the way and who love and support you now.

16. When you feel lost, pray for guidance.

17. When you are tired and drained, remember to never, never, never give up. Finish Strong in everything you do.

18. When you feel like you can’t do it, know that you can do all things through God who gives you strength.

19. When you feel like your situation is beyond your control, pray and surrender. Focus on what you can control and let go of what you can’t.

20. When you’re in a high-pressure situation and the game is on the line, and everyone is watching you, remember to smile, have fun, and enjoy it. Life is short; you only live once. You have nothing to lose. Seize the moment.

What mental toughness strategies would you add to this list? Join the conversation on my blog, Facebook Page, or Twitter.

20 Ways to Get Mentally Tough Poster

Download, Print and Share as a Reminder to Be Strong Each Day!

Access additional Training Camp posters here.

-Jon

Discover the Greatest Success Strategies of All

Complimentary Carpenter Teleseminar

Monday, May 19 at Noon (12pm) Eastern Time

Do you want to build a better life, career or team? Are you facing adversity on your path to success?

There’s no such thing as an overnight success but there’s a Way filled with timeless principles to help you overcome your challenges, stand out, excel and make an impact on your team, customers and the world.

In this spirit you’re invited to join best-selling author Jon Gordon on a complimentary teleseminar as he shares powerful lessons and the greatest success strategies of all from his latest book, The Carpenter.

If you are ready to create your masterpiece, let’s get started and begin the building process today. Register Here.

The Power of Positive Interactions

John Gottman’s pioneering research found that marriages are much more likely to succeed when the couple experiences a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions whereas when the ratio approaches 1 to 1, marriages are more likely to end in divorce. Additional research also shows that workgroups with positive to negative interaction ratios greater than 3 to 1 are significantly more productive than teams that do not reach this ratio.

So what does this mean for you and me? For most of us it means we need to increase the number of positive interactions we have at home and at work and reduce our negative interactions.

We need to engage each other with more smiles, kind words, encouragement, gratitude, meaningful conversations, honest dialogues and sincere positive interactions. And to foster these actions we need to create personal and team rituals that help us interact more positively. If we make them part of our organizational process and individual habits they are more likely to happen.

For instance, at home you might decide to take a walk with your spouse each night after dinner and talk about the positive things that happened at work. The more you practice this the more it will become ingrained in your life. At work you might make it a point to smile at your co-workers and customers more often. As a manager you would spend more time praising your employees for the things they do right rather than always focusing on what everyone is doing wrong. A manager I know makes it a point to personally praise 5 people every week. As an organization you might gather all of your employees on a call once a day to share a positive message. Or perhaps you might gather your sales team together each week and have your team members share success stories. The ideas are infinite. The key is to intentionally cultivate more positive interactions to fuel success.

However, please know that this doesn’t mean we should never have negative interactions. Barbara Fredrickson’s research from the University of Michigan shows if a work group in a company experiences a positive to negative interaction ratio of 13 to 1 the work group will be less effective. This implies that no one is willing to confront the real problems and challenges that are holding them back.

Sometimes we need to confront a situation to move past it and, as we know, ignoring problems that stare us in the face doesn’t work. Negative interactions are necessary so long as they should occur much less frequently than positive interactions.

Positive interactions are essential to a healthy marriage, positive work environment and individual and team success. In this spirit when you are finished reading this, I encourage you to go thank someone at work or at home and let them know how they impacted your life in a positive way. Then make it a habit.

Care More!

When I was researching and writing Training Camp I found that the best of the best really do work harder than everyone else. Hard work has been, is and always will be an integral part of chasing greatness. Yet, when I ask executives, professional athletes, sales people, teachers, etc. if they believe they can work harder than they currently are, almost everyone raises their hand.

This begs the question: If they know they can work harder than why aren’t they?

I found the answer while writing The Carpenter. I had one of those eureka moments where I realized that in order to work harder you have to care more.

When you care more, you’ll invest more energy, effort, sweat, tears and years mastering your craft. When you care more you won’t allow distractions to get in the way of your improvement, growth and progress. When you care more you’ll see yourself as an artist creating your masterpiece every day.

Steve Jobs is a great example of someone who cared more. In Water Isaacson’s biography he shares a story about Steve helping his father build a fence when he was a young boy. His father told him he must care about crafting the back of the fence as much as the front. When Steve asked why the back mattered since no one will see how it was crafted his father said, "But you will know."

Steve’s father taught Steve to care more and years later he would create Apple products with such care that it generated feelings of awe, loyalty and passion among its millions of new customers. It wasn’t an accident. Jonathan Ive, the man who designed Apple products, said “We believe our customers will sense the care we put into our products.” Apple cared more about the work they were doing and the products they were creating and in turn their customers cared more about them.

Turns out caring more is one of the greatest success strategies of all. Not just for billion dollar companies but for barber shops and hair salons. I was recently in Knoxville, Tennessee and had the chance to visit Frank’s Barbershop and Salon Visage owned by Frank Gambuzza and his wife Belinda. Frank speaks at conferences all over the world about the secrets to his success. Franks Barbershop is voted the best barbershop in America every year and when I walked through the barbershop and Salon Visage I couldn’t believe how busy they were. I thought I was in NY or LA. When I asked Frank to explain his secret to success he said this:

When a young lady or gentleman sits in my chair to get their hair cut I treat them like I would my own kids. When a woman about my age sits in my chair I treat her like I would my wife. When an older woman sits in my chair I treat her like I would my mother. And when an elderly woman sits in my chair I treat her like I would my grandmother. I care about giving them a great hair cut and I care about them like family.

Frank cares more and when you care more everything matters and everyone matters. You work harder, serve greater and love deeper…which leads to greater success.

So the next time you realize you aren’t working as hard as you can or creating your best work, stop beating yourself up. Instead ask yourself why the work you are doing matters and decide to care more. Then when you care more you’ll stand out in world where most don’t care.

-Jon

Keep Your Eye on the Ball

I started playing tennis three years ago and have fallen in love with the sport. Originally I was forced to play by my wife, who needed someone to practice with, and my son who is a competitive junior player. But now when I’m not on the road speaking I’m practicing to become the first 40+ male to win the U.S Open. : )

In my pursuit of greatness I’ve taken a few lessons and when playing I try to implement what I’ve learned. I tell myself:

Keep the racket low.

Move the feet.

Bend the knees.

Rotate the hips.

Low to high.

Follow through.

Don’t pass out.

One day I thought I was doing everything right and yet I still wasn’t hitting the ball well. What am I doing wrong I asked myself in frustration? I thought of all the advice I had shared in Training Camp, and laughed as I realized I had overlooked the obvious.

I was doing everything but keeping my eye on the ball. I was so caught up in trying to do everything else that I forgot the most important part of the game.

I know I’m not alone. I see it happen all the time in businesses, schools, sports, and life.

Distractions cause us to lose our focus. We allow the trivial to get in the way of the meaningful. Busyness and stress keep us from developing the relationships that are crucial to building a winning career and team.

We fret about the past, worry about the future and take our focus off of the present. Bombarded by information and distractions we forget what is truly important. We focus on the outcome instead of the process and wonder why we miss our targets. We focus on everything else except the ball.

Today I want to encourage you to keep your eye on the ball. Get back to the basics. Focus on the fundamentals. Remember what really matters. Identify the simple principles and actions that are crucial to your success at work and at home.

Simplify, Focus, Execute.

I played tennis today for a few hours. My body was tired and my muscles were sore. But I kept telling myself keep your eye on the ball. I played the best I’ve ever played.

Keeping my eye on the ball helped me take my game to a new level. I know it will help you do the same.

How do you keep your eye on the ball? What does the ball symbolize for you? Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.

Be Humble and Hungry

I have found that two words are the key to a life and career of continuous improvement and growth. Whether you are just starting out and trying to make a name for yourself or you have achieved the pinnacle of success it’s important to remember to be humble and hungry.

BE HUMBLE

Don’t think you know it all. See yourself as a life-long learner who is always seeking ways to learn, grow and improve.

See everyone as a teacher and learn from everyone you meet.

Be open to new ideas and strategies to take your life, school and work to the next level.

When people tell you that you are great don’t let it go to your head. And when they tell you that you stink, don’t let it go to your head.

Be kind to everyone and let people know that they matter.

Live with humility because the minute you think you have arrived at the door of greatness it will get shut in your face.

Humility doesn’t mean you think less of yourself. It just means you think of yourself less.

BE HUNGRY

Follow your passion, continuously improve, and continue to dream.

Seek out new ideas, new strategies and new ways to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

Invest the time, energy, sweat and dedication to be your best and let God do the rest.

Be willing to pay the price that greatness requires. Don’t be average. Strive to be great.

Become the hardest worker you know.

Love the process and you’ll love what the process produces.

Decide to leave a legacy. Even at a young age it’s important to think about what legacy you want to leave because knowing how you want to be remembered helps you decide how to live today.

Don’t focus on where you’ve been. Focus on where you are and where you are going.

Make your life and work a quest for excellence. Every day ask how I can be better today than I was yesterday?

Make your next work your best work.

As I share this advice my hope is that these words will move you to action. Regardless of your age, education or career status, if you stay Humble and Hungry everything else will take care of itself.

Humble and Hungry,

-Jon