Tom Clempson's Blog, page 10

January 23, 2012

Last Week's Tweets

Just cured @cupcakes4clara 's hiccups. Oh yeah. Possibly the only person in the world to know the secret cure & she never even remembers it! #
I desperately need to be doing stuff but am flat in my back with a baby boy on my chest with a temp of 39.8c Poor little scamp. #
Seeing peoples human names in favour of their twitter ones is really confusing my little brain. Can't we all just have numbers or something? #
#thisweekilearned .. If you don't want to ruin the end of your audiobook, make sure your iPod isn't on shuffle. Bloody bollocks. #
Wow. Sitting in coffee shop alongside a contender for the most impatient dad of the century. Why have 3 kids if you can't stand children?!! #
Toddler quote of the day: " Daddy, can we put animals in post boxes?" #
Toddler Quoto (quote + photo) of the day: "Daddy, you can play with this whilst me & mummy go to the shops." http://t.co/5vhLRdA7 #



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Published on January 23, 2012 01:00

January 18, 2012

How Did I Forget???!!!

I don't know how I failed to mention this before, but One Seriously Messed-Up Week is going to be printed in German this summer! This will be my first ever translation and I find it rather very jolly farting-well exciting.


First of all I can't wait to see what the cover looks like.


Second of all I am REALLY intrigued to find out how things like Gruff-nuggets, Nob-ache and Cock-head-wank-face-cheese-dick traslate into German.


And thirdly, have you ever seen an English language film with German subtitles? Have you noticed how three english words equal about twenty German words (can you guess where I'm going with this?)… WHAT THE HELL IS THE TITLE GOING TO BE????? Would it even fit on the front cover?! If anyone can translate the title into German for me I'd be really greatful. Is it even translateable?


I can't remember the exact date, but it's being published by Random House Germany (VERLAGSGRUPPE RANDOM HOUSE GmbH) and I'm extremely very excited to read my book in a different language. Next I want to see it in Russian, and Japanese, and Greek…




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Published on January 18, 2012 00:35

January 16, 2012

Last Week's Tweets

I've been off Twitter for so long that I'm forgetting how to tweet! What do I usually tweet about????? #
Started listening to @davidwalliams The Boy In The Dress audiobook today. LOVING it! Such a good book for kid's self esteem #differentisgood #
Oooh, nice to see fellow Atom author @CJ_Daugherty getting great reviews for Night School. It's going on my list! Congratulations CJ! #
Just dropped a screaming, soaking wet baby boy off at nursery. With no change of clothes. Because I'm good like that. #
I'm probably the most popular Dad at nursery, right? @AbiBurlingham @sisterspooky @anthony_mcgowan #
Did anyone read more books than @sarahsreviews in 2011 (207 novels!) I read 4. And two of them were my own. And they weren't even finished. #
The #amwriting hash tag… Surely it's a lie. Unless your writing a book of tweets. #
The one time you can absolutely guarantee I'm not getting any writing done, is when I'm on twitter. #amwriting #
It should really be #amdesperatelytryingtowritebutkeepgettingdistractedbystupidtwitter @CJ_Daugherty @EbonyMcKenna #
My eyebrow hairs are getting too long. #
I AM writing, I AM! But I am just taking a short break to tweet you the view from my writing-mobile #amwriting http://t.co/HsulDvj7 #
So glad I checked spelling of last tweet before sending it and announcing to you all that I'm "taking a shitbreak…" #
Important notice: Anyone who waits all week for their one day to write, should seriously consider sedating the… http://t.co/1aB9B2R0 #
Stupid ineffective coffee. You can inject caffein,. I know you can, I've seen it in hospital. I want it on a drip! #
Toddler quote of the day: "We love Scrooge and Wallace & Gromit don't we daddy? But we don't like other things." Hard to please or what?!! #



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Published on January 16, 2012 01:00

January 11, 2012

Paper or PC?

Do you work on paper or on a computer? This is a question that I get asked surprisingly often, and this time I am answering it for myself, to remind me how to write at my best. The answer is – both… and neither.


Both. I used have a pattern in writing where I would write my rough draft in a notebook, then the first draft on a laptop. This is great because whilst you are transcribing it you are also re-reading it, and as you are typing, you are also editing and polishing. But as I have said before (probably), I don't like to stick to rules, rules are too restrictive, so I basically write on whatever I feel like writing on at the time.


Neither. Whether it's paper or computer, it doesn't really make too much difference to me, because it's merely a process of putting words in a sequence. But, (and this is the bit that I always have to remind myself about), I would say that about seventy percent of my writing is done on neither paper or computer. If I sit down to start writing a new book, with a blank page or screen in front of me, that's when I really screw up. I write and I write and I write, then I delete and delete and delete. I seriously have to remind myself over and over again that just because it's called 'writing' it doesn't mean I have to be physically putting words onto a page to be doing it. Nearly all of my first book was written entirely in my head, without a piece of paper or a laptop in sight. In fact, sometimes just the pressure of having a blank page in front of me is enough to make my creative juices completely dry up!


For me, one of the toughest parts about writing is finding the time to do it, but that needn't be as big a problem as I make it out to be. When I wrote my first book I did most of the 'putting words on pages' on the train to and from work, or in the evenings when I got home, but most of that was really just a process of taking the book that was in my brain and putting it onto paper. The actual writing was done in between, in my head.


The real answer is this – paper or PC really doesn't matter to me, I prefer to write in the shower, cooking dinner, walking around shops, doing the washing up, driving into work… Constantly coming up with ideas. For me to sit down at a blank page and try to write a story is like setting off on a trip to blackpool, or Glasgow, or Cornwall or anywhere else I've never been, without looking at a map first of all. Sure, it feels like an adventure, but ultimately I'm going to get lost and probably never actually get to where I wanted to go.


So, I now have no excuses. No excuse to not get writing done, no excuse to not do the washing up, no excuse to not make dinner… What the hell am I doing??!!!!


Forget everything I just wrote. I prefer paper.




Related posts:Where do I disappear to? And where's Jack 2?

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Published on January 11, 2012 12:00

January 9, 2012

Last Week's Tweets

Typical. I was looking fwd to a big twitter catch up during Matilda's gymnastics, and my stupid phone spent 45 mins trying to connect! #



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Published on January 09, 2012 01:00

January 4, 2012

Where do I disappear to? And where's Jack 2?

Yes, even though I set out a new blogging rule for myself – 'No rules' – I still end up going weeks on end without writing a blog post. So where do I bugger off to in between? And why have I barely been on Twitter at all lately? Well, the answer is really very simple. I've been working.


The sad truth about many authors is that until you're well established you still have to work the day job. It's not that the day job is bad, it's just that the day job isn't writing. And no time to write is definitely bad. And no time to write also means no time to write blog-posts, or even Tweets! I probably shouldn't admit to this but lately I'm even struggling to find the time to shower!


When I disappear I'm not really gone. I'm still skimming Twitter, reading what other people are doing, reading your comments on my blog, writing blog posts in my head, but never posting them, even Tweeting random little observations in my head, but never tweeting them. I sometimes do actually manage to write the occasional post for the other site I write for – 'Read It And Laugh', which is always worth checking out.


Just thought I'd let you know, when I'm gone I'm not really gone. I'll be back.


P.S. Yes, Jack Samsonite 2 looks set to be published in spring 2013, it's a long wait but…


I see a pattern emerging here.




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Published on January 04, 2012 00:40

January 2, 2012

Last Week's Tweets

BIG thank you to @sisterspooky for rating me in top 10 books of 2011, for calling me a poo head, & for this card… http://t.co/LB1cSih7 #
So chuffed to have made the list! RT"@FictionThirst: My BEST OF 2011 post- featuring lots of awesome books and authors http://t.co/xFKuCirW" #



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Published on January 02, 2012 01:00

December 26, 2011

Last Week's Tweets

I'm going to brave the busy streets of Manchester tomorrow to sign books at @Wstones_Arndale If you're not there I'll assume you got mobbed #
I'm not a greedy greedy pig pig, I'm just trying to build up an immunity to chocolate! #



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Published on December 26, 2011 01:00

December 19, 2011

Last Week's Tweets

I've discovered that my nut allergy doesn't count if the nuts are cooked! Woohoo! (so I just ate 3 Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Wish me luck) #
I shall now attempt to counterbalance the effect of Teething Baby with a powerful concoction of caffeine, water, caffeine, sugar & caffeine #
If my next tweet consists mostly of 'bbbbbbbbbbb' it means the caffeine didn't work. #
It'd be cool if when I fall asleep at my keyboard my nose hit the 'z' key, but unfortunately my nose is too ironic for stuff like that. #
Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb #
Crikey. If sheep went bad…???!!! RT"@qikipedia: In New South Wales, sheep outnumber people by almost six to one." #
All work and no play makes Tom's 'Last Weeks Tweets' way too skimpy! What have I been missing? #
Im trying to put 2 kids to bed who don't want to sleep, whilst I try to prevent my migraine from reaching sick inducing heights. Hooray! #
The kids are in nursery. I have a day off. It's my Birthday tomorrow. It's snowing! The car is FINALLY fixed!! And I'm celebrating by… #
… Driving @cupcakes4clara all over the place to run errands.

Whoopi.

Doopi.

Doo. #



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Published on December 19, 2011 01:00

December 12, 2011

Last Week's Tweets

It's a good job she told me where she was hiding! http://t.co/UUnxYIZM #
I like this!!!

RT "@AwkwardAmirul: Tom clempson had got to be the most imaginative(in a great way) kind of writer ever!!!" Thanks Amirul! #
Sorry Twitter. I did my best to get a photo of the wet old lady with an orange plastic bag tied round her head, but she was too quick. Damn! #



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Last Week's Tweets

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Published on December 12, 2011 01:00