Jamie Greening's Blog, page 58

WEEK IN REVIEW–WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED

Review of critical facts is often the most important aspect of learning, and learning is what separates competent people from the incompetent.  With that in mind, here are two important facts we’ve learned this week.

1.  We learned that we should never take nude pictures of ourselves on our smartphone.

These pictures will inevitably end up published by thieves and criminals.  We all agree, I think, that these thieves and criminals should be punished to the furthest extent of the law.  I actually would go one step further.  People who view these images on the internet are, in comparison, the same as people who knowingly buy stolen parts for their car at a chop shop.  So, some level of prosecution should go out to these people.  If the feds will go after teenagers who download illegal music, why not go after people who go search out illegally obtained pictures.  These photos are stolen goods, and should be treated accordingly.

However, once the damage is done, once people have seen your southern zones, you can’t put that genie back in the bottle.

Jennifer Lawrence has a right to privacy.

If you must take naked pictures of yourself (which I strongly recommend against) use an old fashioned Polaroid and hide them in your sock drawer.  Greenbean promises that you’ll never find nude pictures of him on the internet.  Never.

 

2.  We learned that Joel and Victoria Osteen are not theologians.

This really is not news.  However, Victoria highlighted that fact a bit when a video surfaced of her saying this:

When we obey God, we’re not doing it for God…we’re doing it for ourself. Because God takes pleasure when we’re happy. Do good ’cause God wants you to be happy. When you come to church, when you worship Him, you’re not doing it for God, really. You’re doing it for yourself because that’s what makes God happy.

Okay, give me a moment to take off the cool Panama Jack hat I’m wearing right now and replace it with the theologian hat.  Good, now I can think straight.  Let’s analyze what is wrong with her statement.  First, she implies that somehow our behavior makes God happy.  The reverse of this would be that our behavior can make God sad.  This kind of talk about the Lord borders on tribal religion where the key task is to determine if the Almighty Reese’s Pieces God is happy today or if we need to appease his unhappiness with libations of milk and offerings of peanut butter.   Is God happy today or sad today?  Let’s find out?  Who brought the holy coconut?

Proper Christian theology teaches us that the Lord exists in perfect trinitarian community:  Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  The Scriptures teach us that the Lord becomes angry at some actions and delights in others, however it is never implied that he is sitting around in Heaven waiting for us to make him happy, as if his happiness depended upon us.

If God is waiting for us to make him happy, then his existence is likely the saddest in all of creation.

The second mistake she makes is that she puts human beings at the center of the worship expression.  That is beyond wrong.  However, it would be difficult to argue that most American Christians practice anything other than a worship experience that ‘makes me happy.’  So, though wrong, Osteen has plenty of company in her idolatrous doctrine of human-centric worship.

Now, here is the twist to what we learned this week.  Osteen, for all her failings, is actually tip-toeing up to something important.  Our lives are happier, better, more enriched when when we follow the Lord and live according to his ways.  I have argued for years that even if there were no such thing as the supernatural, no eternal life, and no spiritual joy, I would still preach that the Jesus way of life is the best way of life because it is.

That doesn’t minimize the supernatural or argue against the power of God or eternity, but it speaks to the power of the ethics and pathos in the life of a Christ-follower.  It would have been better if Osteen had said it that way, because that might have been what she kind of intended.  However, she didn’t, because, neither she nor her husband have taken the time to learn from people smarter than them about actual theology.  They’ve been too busy making an empire and playing a role–the role of superstar celebrity.

 

 

image from cinemablend.com

UPDATE ON MY DAUGHTER’S FOOLISH SCHOOL

Institutions sometimes just do not make any sense at all.

To wit, some of you will remember my blog post from two weeks ago as I described the orientation for my daughter’s high school.  You can read the whole thing by clicking here, but for the point of today’s update, all you need to know is that emphasizing technology, and how to use it in the world, was one of he key tasks of the school as outlined by the principal.  He shared with us how they wanted to put iPads in the hands of the student as well as how much money had been spent preparing the school for emerging technology.  Then, paradoxically, he told us how cell phones were, for all intent and purposes, banned (can’t use them at lunch, in the hallway, or classroom) with a $15 fine paid to get a phone back if it is taken up by a teacher.

Now, fast forward to this week.  My daughter tells me that she needs an “agenda” for high school.  I told her most people’s agenda for school is to graduate.  She didn’t get it.  I then explained to her that agenda was simply a word that means what your goals are, and that sometimes the word is used to describe the order of issues you want to talk about at a meeting or gathering.

I told her agendas are only bought and sold by politicians.

She still wasn’t comprehending, and told me her teacher told her she had to buy an agenda.

I thought I knew what she meant, but I asked her to describe for me what the teacher wants her to have.  She said it was a thing, like a notebook, where you write down what you have to do every day at certain times.  It is a reminder kind of book that helps you know what to do and when, so you can record homework due dates, tests, projects, rehearsals and things like that.

New Technology

Oh, I said.  You need a day planner/organizer.  Okay, I said, well, your iPad and iPhone have great planners on them–you can even set it to give you reminders of key things ahead of time.  I told her that I used mine like that for the last four years I was a pastor with great success.  Just set those up and use them.  That should work.

That was when she reminded me she couldn’t use her iPad or iPhone at school.  It had to be a paper and pencil notebook agenda/planner.

This line of reasoning only makes sense if you consider paper and pencil new technology.

 

Other school related blog posts

Cancelled school for rain

Bandanas

School Bus liturgy

Shrinking pants

Forgetting things for school

 

image from climate.usurf.usu.edu

JUDGEMENTALISM AND THE WISDOM OF N.T. WRIGHT

I read this yesterday.  It is from N. T. Wright’s massive (and I do mean massive) new book Paul and the Faithfulness of God.  I am 500 pages into the first volume, still about 100 pages to go in this one, then I start the second volume, which I think is 700 pages.  I might get finished by Thanksgiving.

Me and N. T. Wright at his book signing on the U.T. Campus.

In the passage Wright described Paul’s grand narrative, which is really the Jewish narrative, of Yahweh as the creator of all human beings.  There is, in this creation, two time periods.  One period of time is the ‘everything is not quite right time’ when life is less than perfect, human beings are not living up to their ideal, and evil people seem to get away with their evil deeds.  Into this present age, a new creation is born in which Messiah reigns.  He hasn’t fully started this reign yet, but at some time in the future this new creation will come to fruition and everything that is wrong will be set right.

Okay, so I’ve caught you up to where Wright is headed.  Be advised, I am not as smart as N. T. Wright, so for a fuller explanation, buy his book.  But in this context Wright talks about God, in his role as judge, will set everything proper and in order.  It is then that Wright makes this marvelous point, that I share with you now.  The italic is his, the underlining is mine, because I thought that was the truly wonderful point.

All this is to say, in one way or another, that the large outer story is a story of judgment.  This theme is constantly bound up with the biblical idea of Israel’s God, the creator, coming to set up his rule.  The word ‘judgment’ has of course been allowed to slip into negative mode in the contemporary western world, with ‘judgmentalism’ one of the classic postmodern villains.  But even a postmodernist whose car has been damaged by a drunk driver wants a court to pass ‘judgment’ against the offender.  ‘Judgment’ is in fact a positive thing.  It is what restores health to a society, a balance to the world.  It replaces chaos with order.  The fact that it can be abused–that humans, whether or not in positions of authority, can take it upon themselves to ‘pass judgment’ on one another in negative and destructive ways–indicates, not that it is a bad thing in itself, but that like all good and important things it can generate unpleasant parodies.

The former bishop is probably right.  It is a lack of good judgment, sound judgment, biblical judgment in our world that has created so much chaos and disruption.

ART, GREENBEAN STYLE

1 Peter 3:3, as rendered by Mrs. Greenbean

Isn’t the above image beautiful!  This past week my wonderful wife, Mrs. Greenbean, completed a canvas for a friend of ours.  It is a piece she color coordinated for the bedroom of a little girl, specifically designed to match a quilt.  The piece is essentially just lettering of a Bible verse surrounded by color themes.  I really like it.

We hope the family it is for likes it too.  By the way, if you’re interested, Mrs. Greenbean works freelance, so hit me up if you’re in need of some artwork.

But that is not what this blog is about.  My daughter saw the piece, and said that she would like her mom to do one for her bedroom, but instead of that Bible verse, she wanted Romans 16:1, because that is the Bible verse that has her name in it.  I thought that was pretty neat, but it got me to thinking that I wanted her to do one for me, but I didn’t know which Bible verse to have her letter.  The more I thought about it, the more I had some nice ideas.

1.  Deuteronomy 26:5–“A Wandering Aramean was my father”  We will title it “ANTI-FOOTPRINTS”

As I understand this verse, it is an important reminder designed to help Israel know its heritage–that of a wandering Aramean.  No matter how mighty and powerful you become, remember you were a wandering nomad, moving around from place to place with no particular home.

In my family, this is an important passage because it is the first Bible verse I ever taught my daughters.  You should have heard their little mouths try to say Aramean.  The reason I taught them this was essentially the same reason as Ancient Israel–I am a Heinze-57 mutt with no pedigree, no particular claim to any special heritage.  I am neither a prophet nor the son of a prophet.  I’m just a Christ-follower wandering through life trying to do the best he can.

What I want to do with this canvas, if Kim will go for it, is to do the opposite of the wonderful “Footprints in the Sand” picture where there is a nice neat trail of footprints.  Instead, we’ll show a desert (no beach) and the footprints will be going in every single direction, all over the place.  Yeah, just like life.

 

2.  Revelation 21:8 “Liars go to hell,” or something like that.

The actual text of Revelation 21:8 is much more involved:

But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.

When my kids were very little I taught them a cheap translation of this verse in the form of a song.

I’ve embedded a Youtube video above of two girls singing the song.  I do not know the girls, but them giggling while they sing it brings back memories of me teaching it to my children, and you should teach it to yours too!

The backdrop for this is obvious–fire!

 

3.  1 Samuel 21:15 “Do I lack madmen, that you have brought this fellow”  we will title this one “It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad Gath World.”

This passage is from the life of King David.  I’ve always loved it, because, don’t we all know how the beleaguered King of Gath must have felt, right?  Just what I need, another crazy running around.  Great, just great!

Mrs. Greenbean could put different kinds of scene of crazy people in the back–someone talking to himself, a woman with matted hair pushing a shopping cart, and of course the obligatory man in a house coat.

 

I’m curious, what verse would you like?  Now, don’t go all spiritual on me.  I’m being funny here.  Don’t scold me and say John 3:16 or Deuteronomy 6:4 or something like that.  Okay.  Good.

 

 

COME ON, HOLLYWOOD

Come on, Hollywood!  I know you can do better than you’ve done lately.  So to help you out, I’ve got four sure-fire movie ideas for you, and none of them are set in the Marvel Universe.  You can thank me later.

1.  Jaws 5

They only made four Jaws movies.  Everyone knows that the first one, and the only one directed by Spielberg, was the best and probably one of the top 30 greatest movies of all time (anyone who says otherwise is chum) but the other three, not so much.  Jaws 2 was passable, but not the same.  Jaws 3 was possibly one of the worst movies ever (click her for an argument that Jaws 3 was a masterpiece) and Jaws 4 is ridiculous, but it does have Michael Caine.

So why do we need a fifth one, after 20 years of hiatus?  Because Sharknado and stupid SyFy movies have destroyed how great a shark movie can be.  It is time to reclaim it, and make a movie worthy of the first Jaws.  My suggestion is to pick up with the Brody granddaughter, Thea, and set her as a world-class marine biologist who is investigating exactly where all these over-sized sharks are coming from, and how are they able to remember to hate her family from one generation to the next.

2.  The Six Million Dollar Man

Rumors of a Bionic Man movie have been ongoing since the 90s, but most of these are from the comedy side of things.  What I mean is, they’ve talked about remaking it as a spoof like they did 21 Jump Street or Starsky & Hutch.  Boo that!  I want a real movie with drama, melodrama, and cool sound effects (visualize me now, sitting at my laptop, making that awesome sound.)

I loved that tv show in the 70’s.  Remember the one with Bigfoot?  You could even make it a Bionic Man and a Bionic Woman thing too.  This is a no-brainer and would be super easy to do.  My friend Chuck and I already have half a screen play written for this movie.  Okay, it’s really just notes written on a few pages of college rule notebook paper, but you get the point.  Call me Miramax.  Call me!

3.  Kim Possible

What’s the sitch?  Well, the sitch is that my family and I loved this cartoon and still, sometimes, late at night you can hear us mourn its loss.  It died far too young.  It was possibly the coolest cartoon ever.  Ever.  Just remember this, The Disney Channel killed Kim Possible so it could bring you more Hannah Montana, all day, every day.  Worst.  Decision.  Ever.

THESE ARE AWESOME CASTING RECOMMENDATIONS, BUT I HAVE TO PLAY RON

What I want to see, though, is a live-action Kim Possible.  I think maybe Ben Stiller should play Drakken.  Or maybe John Malkovich.  I want to play Ron.  I have to play Ron.

4.  The Little Girl Waits

Yeah, that is what you call a plug!  Seriously, several of the people who have read my novel believe it would make a great movie and I agree.  I mean, it has everything:  Car chases, shootouts, mystery, ghosts, indoor tornadoes, international gangsters, the FBI, and church drama!  I mean, come on, Hollywood, what are you waiting for.

The best part about making the movie of The Little Girl Waits is that I am pretty cheap.  I just want writer’s credit and to help with the screenplay so that I can accept the Oscar for best screenplay adapted from a previous work.  Is that too much to ask?  Of course, you’ll want to make sure and read the book (available at Amazon, BarnesandNoble.com, iTunes and many other outlets, paperback and eBook) before the movie comes out so you’ll know the stuff we changed.

 

Jaws 5 image http://www.top10films.co.uk

Kim Possible image from http://www.deviantart.com

TERRORIST–A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT (THE MORE YOU KNOW)

I should be working right now.  I am about 30k words into a new novel that is, IMHO, awesome.

But before I get to work today, I wish to perform a public service.  I need to help the various news agencies with a bit of editing.  As a writer, and before that as a pastor/theologian, I learned that putting the right label on a thing is vital to comprehension about what is really happening.  If I label something as hate, it communicates something different from labeling it as misplaced emotions.  One word hardens the situation into a very well know feeling, while the other phrase softens it into something almost incomprehensible.  What exactly is a misplaced emotion?  Likewise, labeling something as crazy means one thing, labeling it as extreme is something else.

Now to the point at hand.  Many of you, like myself, were no doubt horrified at the recent news of the American journalist named James Foley being beheaded yesterday by ISIS (Or is it ISIL now, or just Islamic State? it seems like it keeps changing) and then the video was posted on Youtube.  I refuse to watch the video, and will certainly not post it here, but I have heard video outtakes and seen the photograph of Foley kneeling, wearing orange beside a man dressed in black.

I have read several news reports, television reports, and radio bulletins on the incident, and I have found a mistake.  In each of these, the media continues to use the words militant, jihadist, or fighter to describe the man standing beside Foley.  One report (BBC) indicated that the ‘fighter’ was British and spoke with a ‘London’ accent.

Please be advised, the correct word is not militant.  If the individual was militant, he would be a part of a military and therefore would properly be called a soldier.  Jihadist is a better word, but still not quite right for this situation.  A Jihadist does what he or she does for religious reasons.  ISIS, though Muslim in the extreme, is operating as a political endeavor.  I believe the first S in ISIS stands for state.  Nation-states, though sometimes motivated by religion, are usually understood as political entities seeking to exert control of geography and resources.  Fighter is even a worse label.  Fighter is so ambiguous it could also be used to describe someone in a MMA event or a brawler on the school playground.

No, the correct word you are looking for is terrorist.  Please use the correct word, even if our political leaders don’t want the world thinking that terrorists are still a threat.

This has been a public service provided by Pastor Greenbean.  The More You know.

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS FROM FRESHMEN ORIENTATION

Tonight I went to the two-hour freshman orientation for my daughter.  It was, maybe, the last orientation I’ll ever attend as she is my youngest and parents don’t usually go to college orientation.  I suppose my next orientation gig will be when they show me around the nursing home my kids pick for me.  Oh I hope it has a coffee bar.

Anyway, I digress.  It was an incredibly boring event, but, as you might expect, there were some things that I found interesting.  Here are some of the highlights.

1.  The dress code continues to be ridiculous.  My daughter still can’t wear bandanas to school.  She was told by one of the teachers, “If we don’t like your hairpin, we will physically yank it out of your hair.”  This school is filled with dress code Nazis.  I’m serious.  The rule book even spells out that it is a violation to wear anything with a skull and crossbones.  So no Pirates of the Caribbean t-shirts.  Oh, and I guess they can’t read my excellent short story, Jolly Rogers.

2.  Speaking of dress codes, the rule specifically spells out that boys may not have beards.  They can have a moustache, but no beard.

From the actual handbook.

Not even a goatee.  Now, as a bearded man I find this offensive.  If a 16 or 17 year old boy, working to fill adequate about his manhood is able to grow a beard, he should be allowed to.  Not only allowed, but it should be applauded and encouraged.  A beard is not deviant behavior.

3.  The funniest moment for me came about an hour into the program.  The principal had just given a passionate speech about how the high school had put wifi in all the buildings, was sparing no expenses in spending new bond money for updated technology, and that every student would be given an iPad.  Then, not two heartbeats later, the cafeteria director stood up and informed everyone that if a kid got more than $10 behind on his lunch bill, he or she would only be given a cheese sandwich and a glass of water for lunch, with the implication that Bruiser and Killer would be by the house later to collect.  How screwed up is that?  We’ll give them an iPad, but not lunch.  The world is so weird.

4.  File this under “Hashtag sarcasm.”  Right before the principal gave this great speech about technology and streaming it seamlessly into the classroom he informed us that students were only allowed to use their cell phones if a teacher allowed it.  Again, the irony is delicious.  We give them iPads, but restrict their cell usage.  Oh, by the way, you can follow all the administration and counselors on Twitter, but apparently you can’t tweet them at school.

5.  I just can’t let this go.  All the talk about embracing technology was reinforced with constant encouragements to visit the schools internet link for student information.  We can check grades, print transcripts, see absences and do so many wonderful things.  The system is called Skyward and just about every school in North America uses it.  Come on people, why not go ahead and name it what it really wants to be–SKYNET, with complete control of everything.

6.  The school really cares if an athlete is falling behind on his grades, because an athlete is not eligible to play if he or she fails and some of the coaches are on board with this.  No mention was made if the school cared if a non-athlete fell behind in grades.

7.    The students don’t know their schedule yet and can’t find out.  So, freshmen are showing up the first day of school with, literally, no clue where to go.  They have to find their name on a big board that tells them which room to go to.  Then, in that room, they will get their schedule.  Now, that is the first time they see their schedule, on the first day.  They may have gotten the classes they wanted, or they might not have.  Sorry, though, schedules can’t be changed.  Literally, a student is stuck with the luck of the draw on the first day for the whole year.  The whole year.  That is messed up.

So those were the highlights.  Makes me very glad that I went to high school at a sane institution, run by people who loved to teach children, at a time when a teenager could actually be a teenager.  Man I miss the 80s.

IF WE ACT NOW, WE CAN STILL SAVE CHRISTMAS

–I am reposting this one from last December, because it is only August and if we act now, we can still save Christmas.  I’m waiting for your call, Hallmark.

To follow-up on the previous blog post, here you go Hallmark Channel, here are five free plots that would make far better Christmas movies than the lame ones I’ve sat through.

If you think the title is bad, watch the movie.

1.  Zombies.  Christmas needs more zombies to energize the younger and masculine demographics.  Santa is delivering toys to Romania one Christmas Eve and accidentally brings home a zombie virus that infects the elves.  To stop the spread of the virus he needs to enlist the help of his old nemesis, Jack Frost.

2.  Frosty the Snowman has developed a drinking problem and is pushing away all of his friends.  After waking up in a Vegas motel with Miley Cyrus he decides he needs help so he calls Santa.  The problem is, Santa has never forgiven Frosty for 2008 when he urinated in Kringle’s eggnog.

3.  An upstart young woman has a successful career in New York as a broker, but is called home for Christmas when her father dies of a heart attack.  She reluctantly moves home to be closer to her mother and to rekindle her roots.  In the process she patches ways with her mother and finds lost love with the boy who pushed her down the slide when she was in grammar school.  Just foolin’!  That’s what they put out there now.  Instead, we’ll take that plot and add the mob.  The reason she moves back home is not because of her dad’s death but because she is up to her eyebrows in debt to the Mafia and she is trying to hide in small town America.  Car chases, gun fights and a really cool helicopter crash can be added in.

4.  How about a period piece?  It is Christmas in Carson City circa 1873 or something and settlers are trying to figure out how to have a decent Christmas on the frontier.  The result is a slapstick comedy of errors as they negotiate with Native Americas for tree cutting rights, have treats shipped in, and work through the worst Christmas pageant ever.  Think of it like Mel Brooks meets Christmas.

5.  Last one:  Turns out Santa has been replaced with a blood sucking space vampire and the real Santa is imprisoned deep inside the moon’s core.  This horrible truth is discovered by a group of computer nerds living in Florida.  They recruit a reluctant and skeptical Army Ranger fresh from Afghanistan to help them rescue the real Santa before the whole world has been sucked dry.

You’re welcome Hallmark Channel.  You’re welcome.  Call me, we can make this happen.

image from imbd.com

MY TOP FIVE ROBIN WILLIAMS MOVIES (IN MEMORIAM)

Robin Williams, Alien

Just learned a few moments ago that Robin Williams died.  I hope and pray his family gets the privacy and peace they need during this difficult time in their lives.  It is appropriate for us to celebrate the aspects of his life that we loved.  So, here are my top five Robin William’s movies.  No, Mork And MIndy are not in there, because that was a TV show.  However, all of us know that is where we first met him, and that is when we realized he was ‘out of this world’ crazy awesome.

The films are listed in no particular order.

 

1.  Dead Poets Society

When I was a work-a-day pastor I went through many trials and tribulations as a leader.  I always wanted someone to stands up on a pew or chair and say, “O Captain! My Captain!”  Alas, none ever did.

2.  Good Morning, Vietnam

This was a war movie that wasn’t about battles and maneuvers.  It was a war movie about a man, and how he experienced the war.

3.  Aladdin

It wasn’t a live action movie, but is there any doubt that Robin Williams as the Genie is one of the best voice-over roles of all time.  This was one of mine and Kim’s favorite movies when we were first dating.

4.  Hook

This is the second best ever take on Peter Pan.  The best one being 2004’s Finding Neverland.  However, I love the idea of Hook better.  Who better to play a grown up Peter Pan than Robin Williams–who better to help us discover how to recapture a little bit of our childhood.

5.  Patch Adams

As someone who interacted with the medical community in my work, I appreciated deeply the underlying message behind Patch Adams, that we should treat sick people as human beings in need of a human touch, and not as statistics or inanimate objects.

 

So these are my five faves of Robin Williams films.  I didn’t include Good Will Hunting because, though he figures prominently (It’s not your fault) the story really isn’t his character’s story.  Same goes for August Rush.  Honorable mentions would include The Fisher King and The World According To Garp.  It is appropriate to also note that I forgive him for Popeye, Mrs. Doubtfire, and Toys.

Rest in Peace Robin.  Nanu Nanu.

STARVING IN A LAND OF PLENTY

Food, food everywhere and not a bite to eat.

Okay, so that’s not exactly the way Coleridge wrote it in the Rime of Ancient Mariner.  Nevertheless, that is the first thing that came to my mind as I read the really interesting article in the most recent issue (August 2014) of National Geographic magazine.  The article’s title is “The New Face of Hunger.”

An interesting article

The basic premise is that people are starving to death in cities because they do not have access to nutritious food.  Although these people have subsidies or assistance, the food they receive is highly processed.  They live in cities where a fast food restaurant sits on every corner, but there are no grocery stores.

I agree with their analysis of the problem, one that I have been talking about for a long time and preached more than one sermon about it.  People are starving to death with food everywhere because we have created a system of incompetence.

You read that correctly.  The problem of hunger is not primarily an economic one, it is an competency problem, and the longer I live the more I am convinced that incompetency will the end of our way of life.

The solution to hunger must have a two handed approach, because the situation is serious and something must be done to fix the problem before it is too late.  The bad news is that it will take at least one, and probably two generations to do it.

1.  We must feed children.  I don’t care what other problems are involved, we can’t let children be truly hungry.  Therefore, programs for food through schools and weekend programs should be fully funded without political wrangling.  However, these programs should also include two other aspects.  One, instead of highly processed food perhaps we should use vegetables, fresh food, and local dairy.  It will cost more to do this in the short run, but it will pay dividends in the long run with healthier children (and a healthy future) and a supported local agriculture.

A second requirement should be the total, universal enforcement of culinary training at the high school level.  We used to call this home ec, and we all made fun of it, but we were all taught how to scramble an egg, boil a noodle, peel a potato, make a salad, cut a chicken up to fry, and how to shop.  These skills are almost absent in most children today and their parents, and that leads me to the second hand we have to use in solving our food problem.

2.  Food subsidies should be increased in dollar amount, but limited to the purchase of ingredients for home cooked meals instead of whatever highly processed food is on the shelf.  Flour, milk, eggs, noodles, lettuce, frozen veggies, raw meat, rice, vinegar, oil, butter, and so many other items are what I have in mind.  It should be forbidden for these individuals to use government subsidies (SNAP, food stamps) for convenience store foods, burritos in a package, sugary cereals, heat-n-heat meals, or potato chips.  I would even support increasing exponentially food subsidy amounts if purchases were made at farmers markets. These should likewise be given only as an adjunct to mandatory basic culinary classes.

We have a competency problem in our country–people don’t know how to cook.  What they often call cooking is really just microwaving.  We would be a healthier, and more economically prosperous people if we would turn the television off and put down the iPhone long enough to spend the 25-30 minutes it takes to cook a meal at home from scratch.  A pot of pinto beans can feed a family for two or three days, and it is cheaper than feeding one person supper at McDonalds (and that is if I put a little hamburger meat in it, peppers, tomatoes, onions, and some brown sugar to sweet the beans).  The problem is that people don’t how to cook because they are never been told.  It was an assumed skill, that can no longer be assumed.

If we don’t fix this problem soon, increasing numbers of Americans will go to bed hungry, all the while surrounded by the greatest abundance the world has ever seen.

BONUS–for an interesting article on SNAP purchases, read this article (click here).  Make sure and read some of the comments as people completely miss the point.  Under no circumstances should soda be a government subsidized purchase.