Kathleen J. Shields's Blog, page 20

Pride Goeth Before the Fall – Proverbs 16:18

What does that REALLY mean?

That pride will go away before you fall? Because if that is the case, nothing could be further from the truth, at least, not in my case, as I am sure it is for many of you as well.

I’ll tell you, I let my pride hold me back for years.  So did she.  I was too proud to call, no matter how much I wanted to.  Every time something happened, my first inclination was to pick up the phone and call and tell her.  But my pride kept me from doing it.

I thought it was the same for her. She could have called, could have come over – without him –  …but maybe she couldn’t? Maybe she did and I didn’t realize it!

I’ll never know.

It occurred to me this morning, my birthday, 6 years after she was taken from me, 8 years after she disowned me, that it was MY pride alone. Yes, she pushed me away.  Yes, she was the one who said she never wanted to hear from me again.  Yes it hurt like someone ripping my heart out of my chest with a spoon, and yes I needed to remind myself daily what she said, because every morning I woke up, I didn’t want to believe it.

But she left me a voicemail.

A voicemail I sadistically kept as an audio file on my computer. A voicemail I listened to over and over again, just to hear her voice. A voicemail I listened to this morning because I started crying, on my birthday, wishing she was here….  It was a voicemail of her singing happy birthday to me, 4 months before she died.

I never returned her call.

At the time I thought she was just trying to be hurtful, to rub salt in open wounds, maybe she was… but it is all I have now.

I could do the maybe’s; if I called her back, if we worked things out… But I can’t. I will never get answers, just more questions. But you can!

Pride Goeth Before the Fall!

If it means to let go of your pride before you fall, then do it! Because if you don’t, it will be too late and you will always regret it.

Live life to the fullest – don’t ever live with regrets. They aren’t worth it, and neither is pride.

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Coming Toward – An Interpretive Video

There is a song by David Crowder called “Coming Toward” It is an instrumental piece that is repetitive but it keeps building the intensity until finally it resolves. It’s an amazing piece. Anyways, whenever I listen to it an amazing imagery comes to mind and I’ve been seeing it for months. While I would have liked the motion of the walking for the video, I think you will grasp my intentions clearly and hope you enjoy this piece and the video I created to go along with it. This could be the shortest blog I’ve written to date!

You don’t have to be a natural conversationalist if you are a charming listener.

You don’t have to be a natural conversationalist if you are a charming listener.  This is such a rare gift that it trumps many other social graces.  Your deep wells of empathy will help you develop this skill.

This was another horoscope of mine…

someone must be watching me because this is so me to a tee!

I have been told I am a very good listener and I KNOW I’m empathic. I can feel what other people feel, (I feel your pain – true statement).  This makes me fully able to comprehend both sides of a story and empathize enough that I can usually find a way to help both parties meet in the middle… depending on how stubborn they are.

But enough about me, what do I think this is; a blog about Kathleen? Oh yeah, it is – well anyways, that first line could be said about any of you!

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You don’t have to be a natural conversationalist

if you are a charming listener.

People love to talk about themselves.  Have you noticed that?  I’ve had to reel myself back in many times when someone asked me about a story.  Oh I could spend hours… days, in deep discussions about my stories and I would thrive doing so – but what author wouldn’t?  That is the reason we write – to tell a story – to share it with others – and if the stars align and our reader has enough foresight to consider it, they may just SAY something to us giving us the chance to learn that our story isn’t just sitting in cyberspace collecting virtual dust.

I would give anything to have an in-depth conversation about any of my stories, but I have learned that people don’t necessarily want to talk about you – they want to talk about themselves (something they can relate to).  So I listen.

I’ve listened to people when they needed to ‘vent’ about something and when they are through they look at me, and smile, and say, “Wow, that really helped. Thank you.”  What did I do? I listened. I empathized. And I proved to them just what kind of a friend I can be.

If you too are a charming listener, actually setting out some of your time for someone else, it’s amazing what you can do for someone. And you know what? They won’t forget it – the next time you want to talk.[image error]

The Other Side of the Coin:

If you are anything like I used to be… getting in front of crowds, talking, expressing my opinions and thoughts, verbally – used to be a phobia!  Not anymore.

I can’t really tell you what happened (unless I realized I actually DID have something to say) but that is HOW I became such a good listener… because I was afraid to talk.

Either way, whether you want to talk or not, listen.

It makes all the difference in the world!

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Fly Away – A Dream. A Poem. A Perception.

Fly Away – A Dream by Kathleen J. Shields

The other morning I awoke from a fabulous neat dream.

As I sat there remembering, I wondered what did it mean?

It started in my childhood where I was fed and taught and cared for

And followed me throughout my youth, and then went even more

Now as an adult I lived and worked and lived my life and ate,

Until I reached old age at last and my life was feeling late.

[image error]And in my dream I fell asleep

on a horribly cold night.

So I wrapped the blanket around me,

and held it really tight.

And as I slept I dreamt about

my life, and all I’d done

And while I was exhausted,

I woke up with the sun.

And as I stood from bed I gazed

upon my new reflection

And saw behind me a colorfully tall

and magnificent confection.

I was wearing a dress so soft,

smoother than fine silk.

And the color was so white on me

it draped like flowing milk.

But then to contrast with so much glory

something stood so wide

And it stretched out strong from on my back

and out from either side.

They held such color of pinks and blues,of purples black and gold ,

All I could do was stare at them, as they hung there quite so bold.

And slowly I turned to look at them, these wings were oh so wild,

And as they began to flutter, I felt like a small child.

Just then my room dissolved away and I took off for the sky.

And these wings they took me far away, so far and oh so high.

Into the clouds I flew right in and through the gates of gold,

And while they stood so shimmery, they didn’t look too bold.

But then they faded into the clouds and left it all oh so white

And as I stood there all alone, I felt that all’s alright.

If I would have been the old me, I would have been quite scared.

If I would have been the old me, I wouldn’t know that He had cared.

And then He flew up next to me, a butterfly like me.

The difference though his wings were red, and there were holes that I could see.

I stared at him the longest time and he stood there while I thought.

It was as if He knew I needed time, us humans need a lot.

I asked if I was dead as I was standing there with Him,

But he smiled at me with love in his eyes, and a sheepish little grin.

“You’ve been reading my book, doing good deeds, you’ve done so much for me

That I wanted you to know me more, in a way that you could see.

And while wings mean more to you than me, I chose to do just this;

Because you’re open to my love, there’s metamorphosis.

So I gave you wings like a butterfly because you’ve lived the way.

So now you have been born again, your chrysalis today.”

I felt quite like a princess, an angel and a star.

I held my head upright, I must have looked bizarre.

But then we walked and talked and shared, and I told him all my dreams,

You’d have thought I could have saved that part, He’d know them all it seems.

But he listened with a smile and didn’t speak a word

And just like that his wings they flapped, and he took off like a bird.

So I followed him into the sky, we held hands while we flew,

And he pointed to great places, and times He knew I knew.

I then asked him, why, I just don’t know, about the food within my dream,

Why every stage throughout my life, I was eating it would seem.

“It symbolizes the intake, that you’ve consumed my word.

And each stage throughout your life, I knew that you had heard.”

And then I landed back at home, and he turned to fly away

And I thanked him for sharing his time, with simple me today.

Then he turned to me and smiled bright, the sun shone through his holes

“Go forth and help the others, you can save their souls.”

I said I would and then I woke and looked outside my window

And that is when I saw it there, and I waved and said hello.

The butterfly fluttered next to me, for a moment, not much longer

And I suddenly I felt His light in me, and it made me feel much stronger.

And I went out into the world with this, a story in my heart:

To tell you all the same as this, we all here have a part.

Life is short no matter how long you’ve been here on the planet,

And you’ve only heaven’s moments, to make sure that you all get it.

Because when He calls, your days are gone, you’ll know that you can’t stay,

And that’s when you get your butterfly wings and then you’ll fly away.

~ Kathleen J. Shields 9/12/2013

2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

Psalm 90:10

The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away.

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Writing Prompts! – A Game

One of the goals for my blog is to provide inspiration for writers to follow their dreams, and one of the biggest problems writers face is writers block! That is why I am starting something new here,

Writing Prompts!  –  A Game

Every once in a while, in order to light the fire for creative writing, I’m going to post a writing prompt. I’ll write a sentence or two of what comes to my mind – then in the comments field below – I ask you to write a sentence or two of your own to the writing prompt. I’d love to see what we all come up with. Anyone can post, you don’t have to sign up or have an account to comment, anyone can add on to another’s post, or comment regarding mine. It will be organized under the category of Writing Prompts, and it may help you get those juices flowing. It may even help someone get back in the writers seat or inspire a child to start writing.  Let’s all write and have fun with it!

 

“I looked down and saw it. I couldn’t believe it, but there it was…”

 

My ring that had been missing for two weeks. Certain it was gone forever. Certain someone had found it and absconded with it. I look down in the sand of the playground, just under the slide and there it was shimmering brightly in the afternoon sun. How could I have lost it there? I never take it off…

 

Go –

Now finish the sentence to the writing prompt above: “…but there it was…

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Writing Prompts! “It’s not what she said…”

Here’s another writing prompt to get your creative juices flowing. Comment with your continuation of the writing prompt below.

“It’s not what she said, it’s what she…” 
 did that made me so angry. It’s one thing to correct me for a simple mistake, it’s another to do it in front of everyone in the room! I didn’t deserve that kind of ridicule or laughter. I was already feeling foolish enough as it was. What she did was kick a dog while it’s down and for that – she will pay!
What would you write to that prompt?

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I was Read TO at my Author’s Day Reading!

What a wonderful treat!

The most adorable four year old girl decided that an Author’s Reading meant she should read TO the author, me. It was awe inspiring to hear her read my words, and do so well at her age. My guess is she had practice, but apparently she’d been reading for a very long time (for a 4 year old) and enjoyed doing so!

Little things like this give me the encouragement to keep going. Knowing that there are still children out there that like to read, enjoy reading and want to read – to show off their skills. It’s not about the technology, the videos, the audio files, the push button interactivity, it’s about reading the story and a child being proud of her accomplishments!

She wouldn’t let me help her either. She sounded out each word and even showed me in the picture where each item was that the story referred to. Maybe that’s how her mother read it to her, maybe that’s just how great she is… either way, I hope she keeps reading and keeps inspiring others.

And if it was her mother (or father):

Good Job! Keep up the good work!

She was a joy to spend time with and I hope that day was as memorable for her as it was for me!

THANK YOU!!!!

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Daisy – the Little Pup Who Believed

I just watched this video. It came to me as a forward in my email to which, once viewed, I promptly forwarded on. The message is amazingly inspirational. The story is heart-breaking and heart-warming all at the same time… and yes… I was bawling my eyes out.

I was keeping it together fairly good until they explained the X-ray and then…

I lost it.

I was watching the rest of the video through blurry tear-filled eyes. When the turn-around began and I found my smile, I found a chuckle, then a deep-bellied laugh. I realized I was still crying. And yet, I was smiling.

It was a feel good moment.

But even after the video was over and I closed the window and pressed send on my email and got up for more coffee, I found my eyes whelping up with tears again thinking back to that moment my heart literally broke for this poor little dog.  And it started me wondering… what is it about this dog I will never meet, that made me so incredibly sad and so completely connected to it, that I still can’t get her out of my head?

Was it the fact that she looked like a dog I once had? Was it because I love dogs so much that I was immediately endeared towards her? No.

She was abandoned, starved, a broken back and couldn’t move, stranded on a highway road side. How did she get that way? Was she thrown out of a car by someone who didn’t care? Was her back broken at that moment or did they do it to her before? I could have been furious at the faceless person who could have done this to her… but I wasn’t crying for that.

Was it the wonderful generous acts that woman did in stopping her car that morning? A highway road side of cars speeding by with windows closed, radios turned up, cell phones turned on. It truly was a wonderful act but I wasn’t crying about that.

Was it the pain that poor dog was in? A broken back, starving… it should have been, it was as close to a valid reason as any of the others… but again, it wasn’t why I was still crying for this dog.

It was because she couldn’t ask for help.

It was because she couldn’t tell anyone how much pain she was in.

It was because even if they would have seen her… they probably would have kept driving.

It was because if she would have been heard crying, howling… they would have told her to shut-up because they couldn’t understand WHY she was crying.

It’s because we can not be told by the animals in our lives what is going on with them, in their own words. We don’t know if they are hurting or in pain… we may be able to see it with our own pets when we finally come home from work, and finish our chores, and actually pay attention to them after TV.  But they can’t walk up to us and say, “Hey Joe, I pulled a muscle in my hind leg, can you get me a warm compress for it?”

They are always so happy to see us, so happy to be in our presence that they wag their tails and look up to us with adoring eyes and desire so much to just be with us, that they will ignore any ailments they have just to be near us.  We say to them “How you doin’ buddy?” and they wag their tail, they don’t say anything. Maybe, if we are attuned to them, we’ll notice their ears down when they think we aren’t looking, but with our busy lives we may miss it.

Yet that wasn’t even why I was crying… The above about our own pets doesn’t count because we have a vested interest in their health and safety, they are our family… I was crying because Daisy belonged to no one. She was alone. She was hurt and alone in a world too busy for her, surrounded by people who couldn’t hear her or see her or understand if she even did cry out.

It was a miracle that woman found her and noticed and cared enough to find the help and raise the money and take Daisy in. And we all say awe and smile at the saved soul of a dog… but how many of those heart-warming stories exist for other humans? Not children, I’ll give them a pass. I’m talking about older adults, people the rest of the world expects to be able to take care of themselves. People whom, if in need of help, can ask in their native tongue… but how many do?

We see them on the street with cardboard signs, yet we think to ourselves, why can’t they get up and work. We hear about them on the news and think, that’s sad, but it’s on the news, others will help. We hear about it in our community but assume those that hear will do something so we don’t need to. We think about it for a minute, an hour, but hardly a day and never a week – and a month later we’ve completely forgotten, even though their story may still very much continue on.

We live in a society that ignores the cries of the needy, in the same way we don’t understand the pleas of the injured animal. Our needy may speak to us in our native language, may articulate themselves like the best scholar and yet we still don’t hear them – because if we truly heard, we would have helped.

I’ll tell you this much. When I see a true – human interest story on the news (which is rare) it helps me realize as human beings we are capable of more than war and hate and crime. We are inundated by stories of evil-doers, adulterers, murderers, thieves and worse… and they are out there… but we all, as a civilization, need to hear more stories of the above and it would help us, as a society, hear them about our own kind too. We need to get used to seeing, hearing and doing good for others. It needs to become second nature again.

The hustle and bustle of the big city, everyone out for themselves… I don’t know when it happened, but it needs to change. We need to focus on our neighbors more… on the people who pour our coffee… on the waitresses that bring our food… on the secretary that collates our copies… on the people who drive the buses… on the guy who mows our yards… on the person behind the register… on the mother on the side of the road… on the homeless man holding the sign… on the person pushing the cart… on the tattered coat, on the tattered soul, in the scary part of town, being forgotten, not being heard, crying, cowering, in pain, with a broken heart, in a world that has forgotten him.

Lord, help him to find the person who will stop their drive to work, who will take him into their heart and find the help for him so he can be healed and live and run like the wind… just like little Daisy

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Sitting at Jesus side

James & John wanted to sit at the right and left side of Jesus, I don’t think that went over well because, and I am assuming, they were hoping for higher positions in heaven than just angels. But for whatever reason, my limited Christian education always gave way for an image of my loved ones getting to hang out with Jesus for a while when they got to Heaven. I even imagined my dog Smurphy getting to take a short nap in Jesus’ lap until he felt brave enough to explore heaven on his own. I’ve just always felt everyone who gets to heaven gets to meet and spend a bit of time with Jesus.

That being said, and because I am related to a very smart mathematician, I tend to enjoy working on math problems in my head, usually while I am driving or feeding the turtles. Anyways, I started thinking about the number of people we have on the planet, about 7 billion and of those, 1.8 people die every second. While that number can go up or down, the average works out to about two people, one on either side of Jesus, every second of every day for all eternity. Makes you happy to think that time is different in heaven, or pray that it is, because my dog Smurphy would have needed a lot longer to find his bravery to go explore on his own.

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Writing Prompt! “He was my childhood friend…”

Okay fellow writers, here is another writing prompt – lets see where this one can go! Comment below.

“He was my childhood friend…”
I grew up with him. We had done everything together. I thought of him more like a brother and never once considered the what if… after a kiss like that. But here I was, my heart exploding with feelings I had no idea I had. He had just poured his heart out to me. I had just been laughing. Then he did that – and now – it seems everything had changed. As I watched him walk away I was so conflicted, however, the one thing I knew in my heart… I didn’t want him to leave.

How could you turn the story your own way? Write your story to this writing prompt below in the comments. Let’s have fun with creative writing!

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