Kathleen J. Shields's Blog, page 12

Encouraging Children to Write

As a children’s book author, I have found it incredibly important to be active in schools as my audience is there 75% of the year.  Yet that being said, how do you make it worth the teacher’s time? One of the key things I like to do upon reading a book to the students is not only talk about it, but by posing the question “Who here likes to write?”

When my illustrator and I frequented libraries, I’d ask that question and basically get blank looks on the children’s faces, but when my illustrator asked “Who likes to draw?” practically every hand went up in the air. That’s when I realized the need for writing encouragement.

Every child has an imagination, the key is using it (and using it proactively). Obviously they are great at making up stories.  They can entertain themselves with their favorite dolls or action figures, but what they don’t know is that if they took that imagination one step farther and put their idea to paper – they are writing. …and so are you.

So now, when I go to the schools, I ask the children, who likes to write and when no hands go up (or that amazing single hand does) I follow up that question with “Who here has woken up in the middle of an awesome dream and wanted to get back to sleep again to finish it but couldn’t find where they left off? Every hand in the room shoots up in the air.

That’s when the conversation begins.

“I dreamed I was…” and when they are done, I say “so if you had your way, how would that dream have continued?” They not only answer but the other children chime in.  They literally help each other write these stories.

“Who here has watched a TV show, movie or read a story and didn’t like the end?  How would you have changed it?”

“What was your favorite movie?” They fill in the blank. “What would that character be doing today if that story continued on?”

By the time I am done, the gears in their little heads are spinning at full speed and many times, the teachers allow for writing time when they get back to class.

At their age, it doesn’t matter WHAT they are writing about, what matters is that they ARE writing.

My dream is to encourage every child to write.  We all have a story in us, whether it be non-fiction or fiction, happy, sad, scary or fun.  We all have imaginations, so why not use them?

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I am Thankful… are you?

As always, this time of year leads people to pause and consider what all we are so thankful for. It’s one of the best times of year because, if we do it right, it forces us to look at the silver linings in our lives and appreciate them.

Our daily lives can be so stressful.  From work to family, to extra curricular activities, there is so much to do, so little time to accomplish it in and so many people out there in the same exact boat; allowing those situations to affect their judgment and mood which affect everyone else.

Colossians 3:15  – Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Thanksgiving may not be (in general) about God, but it is about life and people and God made us ALL, so it all kind of goes together. He wanted us to be happy. He wanted us to share our lives with others. He wanted us to show thanks for everything he created for us.

Hebrews 12:28 – Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe.

What on earth could I add to that? Except maybe…. I hope and pray every one of you have just as blessed and wonderful Thanksgiving as I intend to!

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It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge an elephant, but we can not dodge a fly.

Okay that statement is so true it’s hilarious! Can you imagine not being able to dodge an elephant? I mean they are big, yes.  They can move, yes. But I’ve never seen an elephant land in my soup!

Yet let’s analyze that just a wee bit deeper, shall we? It’s the little things that worry us… is my son behaving in school? Not – will he graduate. I hope I can get some overtime this week, not – that you have a job to go to. That drip is keeping me up at night, not at least I have water.

And what of the superfluous stuff? That item has so many calories… versus, you only live once. If I’m going to eat something I’d chose a piece of fruit over a cookie, but both have sugar. Do I need to exercise afterwards? And oh I didn’t do my ten minutes on the treadmill this morning even though I did run back and forth to the copier about two dozen times this afternoon carrying stacks of paper but that doesn’t count as exercise.

[image error]You can say it’s priorities or having control or setting limitations but if you find yourself pulling your hair out because you missed the light, take a look out the window at the person who is walking in 100 degree heat and be thankful your car has AC.  If you feel like there isn’t enough time in the day, take a few things off your list or ask for help.

The point is, grab a fly swatter and begin swinging because the elephant in the room is not going to help.

It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us;
we can dodge an elephant, but we can not dodge a fly. – Josh Billings

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The book publishing snowman theory:

Book publishing is like a snowman – follow me here. [image error] To build a snowman you have to have the desire to get out in that freezing cold snow.You have to have the talent and patience to do the job.You have to be willing to learn or research the aspects you don’t know.You need to bring the tools you will need to finish the job. (Hat, scarf, carrot)Then you will need to begin the construction.You will need to pack the first snowball tight to have a solid foundation.Then you will need to roll it, gathering content with it until it is full.Then you need to repeat the same until you have a second ball (somewhat smaller than the first).Then repeat again for the third ball.When you have your entire structure assembled and secure, you can embellish upon it.Add the scarf, hat, nose, eyes, mouth, arms, etc. All of the details that help personalize your snowman.But you are not done when he is done!Did you build this snowman for yourself only? Or did you build him for your friends and family to see? Do you think others would appreciate your creativity?Then share him!Take pictures, spread the word, share him.You only have a short time for others to get to see him before he is gone, so be proud of your accomplishment!

 

To publish a book is very similar to the above. You first have to have the desire to write that story. You have to have the talent and patience to do the job. You have to be willing to learn or research the aspects you don’t know in the story.

You need to bring the tools you will need to finish the job. (Marketing efforts, great cover, sales letters, website) Then you will need to begin the construction of your story.  You will need have a solid story foundation, gathering content for each chapter. Repeating the same detailed efforts for each chapter as you continue telling the story.

When you have your entire story outline assembled, embellish upon it.  Add all of the additional details that help personalize your story, the secondary story, the subplot.

But you are not done when the story is done!

Did you write this story for yourself only? Or did you write it for your friends and family to see? Do you think others would appreciate your creativity? Then share that story!  Publish it!  Spread the word, share it.

You only have a short time for others to get to see it (in the traditional publishing market) before it is removed off the shelves, so be proud of your accomplishment!

I am like a snowball –
the further I am rolled the more I gain.
Susan B. Anthony

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Life is about the moments not the things – but the deeds are just as important…

The other day I was talking with a friend and we got into a deep philosophical conversation about life.  She had been the primary caretaker for her mother (a scene I know all too well) and was describing everything that needed to be done.  This needs to be gotten. I need to pick this up. She needs her meds. I need to remember to ask about this… and that. I need to take care of… I need to…. She needs…

After a while, it becomes a fulltime job, a second fulltime job because like most of us, we already work. We already hold together a household, work to pay bills, stress out about our current life situations and try to put that out of our minds.  When the roll of caretaker turns on for that very small percentage of time; when you are allowed to give to that person, during your already hectic day.

I remember waking early, getting some work done, then going to the nursing home where my grandmother was (after visiting hours began). Staying with her the majority of the day, then returning back home to catch up on that day’s work until the wee hours of the night or until my body shut down, whichever came first.   I know I was blessed to have a job that traveled with me. Clients that didn’t mind the work getting done at 10pm… but I still checked emails on my phone throughout the day. I was never too far away from my life that a phone call couldn’t cure.

My friend continued her story with the brother who came in from out of town. Who was able to stop the clock on his life for a set amount of time so he could be there for his mother.  He had the gift of vacation time (for lack of a better word) to set his mind at ease. His life wasn’t going to call him at any moment with expectations and demands. His wife was able to take care of the house during his leave. Work would somehow survive without him. There was an understood that interruptions would not happen so he was able to find the peace in the moment. To be there at that particular time completely. Heart and soul. He was able to say what needed to be said. To hold her hand. To stroke her hair. My friend didn’t get that chance.

There was all likelihood that life would go on and daily and monthly tasks would be expected to be taken care of. There was also all likelihood that life would not go on and preparations of mass amounts would have to be seen to.  When you are in that position you can not shut down. You try to be there. You hold their hand but after a short time has passed your brain reminds you of that dreaded list of things to do, tasks to take care of. The doctor asks questions to answers you have to know. You have to stay focused. You have to keep your brain turned on. You can’t escape into a relaxed state of just being there.

She needs you to take care of her.  –  That is your job at this moment.

So when the regret, after the loss, begins to fill you.  When you go back in your head to that moment, those moments, and you begin feeling they were lost moments, wasted, ruined with lists and tasks and deeds that didn’t include stopping to be there in that particular time, that precious time.  And the guilt begins to fill you. And the tears are whelping up in your eyes. Your heart aches.  The missed moment, the longing, the not being there because you had to run that errand….

Remember: God loves us all.

He knows what you did for her and so does she. In fact, she now has infinite clarity.  She understands everything. The things she didn’t know before. The parts of your life you didn’t share because you didn’t want her to worry, or feel guilty. The exhaustion you felt. The inner conflict of wondering how much longer you could do this.  She knows now, and understands, and forgives, and thanks you.

Her frown is gone. Her sad eyes are now perky. Her pain has escaped her. She is happy. And now, as she looks down upon you, she smiles and prays that you too will find happiness. To stop blaming yourself. To release that guilt that you have no right putting on yourself. You did the best you could. Only God could have done better – because he is perfect and she KNOWS this.

Be proud of your accomplishments with her. She is proud of you.

Take a moment today to smile.  Close your eyes and envision her looking down upon you with that smile you hadn’t seen in so many years, maybe ever. She is whole. 100%. And she wants you to be happy. Take that moment with you today.

Life is about the moments not the things – but the deeds are just as important…
if that is the kind of person you are.
– Kathleen J. Shields

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Art is a collaboration between God and the artist and the less the artist does the better.

Art is a collaboration between God and the artist and the less the artist does the better.
Andre Gide

[image error]I am not an artist! Or at least I have told myself that.

I was told I was wrong.

If you can paint a picture with paint, you are an artist.
If you can paint a picture with song, you are an artist.
If you can paint a picture with words, you are an artist.

So I guess I’m an artist and I also can now see how the above quote can even apply to me. When I wrote my “Dandy Lion” story, I kept claiming I had no idea how it was going to turn out. I was literally crying as I was typing out the end because I was shocked out how beautiful the ending was. Sure, I wrote it, it was for the most part my idea, but I give a ton of credit (if not most of it) to God.

He used me to write this story. He knew I was listening. He knew I could type and he knew I could publish. He knew I could create a beautiful cover for it and he knew I would publicize his efforts for him.

Dandy Lion is definitely a collaboration between God and I.

If you have ever written a story without an approved outline…
If you’ve ever finished a letter without knowing how it was going to end…
If you’ve ever written a song without knowing the tune…
If you’ve ever painted a sky without seeing it first…

Then you collaborated with God!Be Proud of the Gifts God Gave You – and Use Them!

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There are three things you can not recover in life,

There are three things you can not recover in life,the MOMENT after it’s gone,the WORD after it’s said andthe TIME after it’s wasted.

–

Carpe diem – Seize the dayThink before you speak.Stop playing games.

–

God gives you the exact number of opportunities that you will get in life and exactly enough time to accomplish it. The free will to know what you should and should not do or say and just enough ambition to succeed at anything you put your mind to.  It’s what you do with that time, message and moment that makes you what you are.

Personally, I want to meet God with a life full of moments not missed, happy words shared and no time wasted. Of course, I’m not sure if blogging falls under wasted moments or happy words said but if my thought can help create moments I am good with it.

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The busy have no time for tears.

  [image error] [image error]The busy have no time for tears.
Lord Byron

When I read that I immediately fell back in time to the day my mom was killed. From the moment after I hung up after the first phone call from the police, until, oh, about 10 months later, I was so busy, I hardly had time for tears.

That sounds horrible doesn’t it? I did say, hardly… I DID cry, but it was quick, intermittent shots of; on-the-floor, gasping-for-breath, loosing-yourself, in pain-wrenching-grief.  I had only enough time to release those tears for a few minutes before I had to suck it back up, straighten myself up, and step back out to do the tasks at hand.  There were also the nights after everyone was asleep and I lay there with nothing to do, except think about the loss… They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger… the next 10 months gave me super strength.

The day of the news I had to talk to everyone. I had to keep myself somewhat collected to tell them the facts. I had no time for grief because the phone simply wouldn’t stop ringing. When I hung up from one call, I took a deep breath, tried to recall my mothers face in my head, tried to see her smile, tried to find her spirit, and then the phone would ring again.

The days leading up to ‘his’ arrest were filled with evidence gathering, fact finding, pleas and requests and quite a bit of confusion. No time for tears, that’s when the anger and determination kicked in.

Going through the possessions seems like the perfect time to cry… not when you are on a rushed deadline to get everything sold, packed and moved.  With no time for reminiscing there was no time for tears, just stay busy, focused.

Final preparations, a time when you pick the coffin, headstone, write the obituary, the eulogy, gather everyone together, no time to cry then… of course the memorial service allowed for some time but knowing I wanted to be cognitive enough to read the eulogy I wrote; I kept it together.[image error]

Finally time to cry? Nope.

Regular life led to regular monthly duties like bills, a time limit to empty the storage facility, collections to sell, daily work to focus on.

The trial came next and you’d think you could cry then, but not if you wanted to stay in the courtroom.  You couldn’t make the jury partial.  I wanted to hear everything, so I had to keep cool.

[image error]It was literally 10 months after when there was nothing left to do, when I actually had the time to cry… but by then the grieving period was over. I had moved on with my life. Not that you can ever move on from the loss of a parent… but somehow, hours turned to days, days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months and months turned to years… I made it through and I am a better, more spiritual, more understanding and compassionate person for it.

I look back at that quote above:
“The busy have no time for tears.”
It’s sad really…
…almost makes me want to cry.

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Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting gold.

Have you seen your silver lining? It’s probably that great thing just on this side of your golden dream. The one that wins the lottery, gets the promotion, upgrades to the better house or better car.

Too many people miss the silver lining because their expecting gold.
Maurice Setter

I studied all week and only got a B –

            Expected gold – I wanted an A!

            Silver lining – you didn’t fail

            Simpler silver lining – you learned quite a bit

I worked all that over time and I was passed over for the raise –

            Expected gold – I should have gotten a raise AND promotion!

            Silver lining – you still have a job

            Simpler silver lining – you got those extra overtime hours

 The roof leaked during the last rainstorm –

            Expected gold – I want it all and should have it my way every time!

            Silver lining – nothing was damaged

            Simpler silver lining – we needed the rain

My dog ate my tennis shoes –

            Expected gold – Why can’t he just sleep all day and leave my stuff alone?

            Silver lining – (I have a hard time with this one but) – at least he didn’t get my nice boots

            Simpler silver lining – he had hours of fun

The gold is so far away from silver,
it only takes a moment to realize
our expectations are too high.

 

Look at the dog one – if he slept all day (to leave your stuff alone) he’d be awake all night, keeping you up as well. Dogs chew your shoes, jeans and undergarments because they smell like you – they miss you – what if he didn’t miss you, love you, care about you, how sad would that be? Maybe I needed new tennis shoes – the soles were starting to split from the shoe. No I can’t afford to buy them but the silver lining is I still have those great boots I can wear!

Look for the silver lining in life – it’s the part this side of the negative – it’s the positive part. It’s the grateful part.  The thankful part. It’s the part that makes you smile. That makes you happy. That makes you say – Ah, little one… I still love you…. But don’t do it again!

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Everyone thinks of changing the world but no one thinks of changing himself.

  The World is Falling Apart! – Look at all those crazy people on the other side…
if only they would… (insert complaint here…)

We all do it. We look out upon the world and see what is going on; watch the news, read the papers, listen to the rumors and we all feel like we have every right to diagnose the situation and subscribe our prescription to rectify it.

What makes us so smart?

We are NOT perfect!

 

Contrary to public belief – we all have something that at least one other person in the entire world wishes they could change about us. Personally I can’t possibly imagine what anyone would want to change about me… ha!

I try to be the best I can be.  I try to be there for others.  I try to do good deeds. I do my absolute best when working, writing… not so much in the cleaning department – but I try to portray myself in the best possible light.[image error]

I know for a fact that if my husband could change one thing about me, it would be to make me a better house cleaner.I’ll bet I have at least one friend or relative that wishes I had more time for them.I know for a fact my dogs wish I would play more (with them) and work less. [image error] So lo and behold – I’m not perfect!

And that is just a list I pulled from the little things.  I’ll bet if I look harder, really dig deep I can find things I may not be proud of about myself…
but why would I do that?

 

Everyone thinks of changing the world
 but no one thinks of changing himself.
Leo Tolstoi

 

So if we ALL take a look at ourselves.  [image error]Every single one of us (even those in the political arena – which is all I will say about that ever) and focus on one thing to change maybe that could help the (complainable situation here).

But what do I know?

It’s not like I’m going to put everything I have into my housework?

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