Andrew G. Marshall

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Andrew G. Marshall

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in The United Kingdom
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April 2013

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Andrew has been a marital therapist for almost thirty years. He trained with RELATE the UK's leading couple counselling charity. He now has a private practice in London and Sussex (England), gives workshops on relationship and inspirational talks. His books have been translated into twenty languages (including French, German, Spanish, Japanese, Chinese and Italian). He also writes for UK newspapers Daily Mail and Mail on Sunday. These articles are collected on his facebook page. As well as being a writer, Andrew is a keen reader and is always looking for suggestions of great books to read (either about relationships or novels). Most recently, he has published a memoir about the death of his partner and the problems of bereavement. It is cal ...more

Average rating: 3.84 · 765 ratings · 86 reviews · 34 distinct worksSimilar authors
I Love You, but I'm Not IN ...

3.77 avg rating — 318 ratings — published 2006 — 15 editions
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Learn to Love Yourself Enou...

3.64 avg rating — 45 ratings — published 2011 — 5 editions
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How Can I Ever Trust You Ag...

4.25 avg rating — 57 ratings — published 2009 — 8 editions
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Can We Start Again Please?:...

3.48 avg rating — 33 ratings
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My Mourning Year: A Memoir ...

3.93 avg rating — 28 ratings3 editions
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It's Not A Midlife Crisis, ...

4.26 avg rating — 23 ratings4 editions
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The Power of Dog

3.65 avg rating — 23 ratings — published 2018
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My Wife Doesn't Love Me Any...

4.21 avg rating — 39 ratings — published 2012 — 6 editions
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Are You Right for Me?: Seve...

3.58 avg rating — 24 ratings — published 2011 — 2 editions
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My Husband Doesn't Love Me ...

4.03 avg rating — 29 ratings — published 2014 — 5 editions
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More books by Andrew G. Marshall…

Would Antidepressants Help My Recovery From Infidelity?

When you are overwhelmed by discovering your partner’s infidelity and your feelings are all over the place, would it be helpful to take some medication?


The post Would Antidepressants Help My Recovery From Infidelity? appeared first on Andrew G. Marshall.

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Published on September 11, 2020 08:24

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First, We Make th...
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Andrew Marshall is currently reading
First, We Make the Beast Beautiful by Sarah Wilson
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Ask the Man Who Owns Him by David  Stein
Ask the Man Who Owns Him
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Faggots by Larry Kramer
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This is the third time I have read this book. I read it the first time in my late twenties or early thirties (at the height of the AIDS crisis) and again - perhaps ten or so years later - and most recently (at sixty-one) for my book group.

The first
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Andrew Marshall made a comment on his review of Faggots
Faggots by Larry Kramer
" Gochrisgo wrote: "Thanks for this review. I am embarrassed to say I’ve never read it. This inspired me to add to my reading plan for this year."

It is
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Faggots by Larry Kramer
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This is the third time I have read this book. I read it the first time in my late twenties or early thirties (at the height of the AIDS crisis) and again - perhaps ten or so years later - and most recently (at sixty-one) for my book group.

The first
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Emil und die Detektive / Emil und die drei Zwillinge by Erich Kästner
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I read this as a child in English and I have now read it as an adult in German. So feeling extremely proud of myself.

I have tried to read a couple of children's books in German but either the story did not engage me or I was defeated by the language.
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Living Between Worlds by James Hollis
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This is the eighth book from Hollis that I've read and it is always a joy to pick up his wise, insightful and compassionate writing. While most therapists have retired, he is still working at eighty and I really value this long view - the eternal wit ...more
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Emil und die Detektive / Emil und die drei Zwillinge by Erich Kästner
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I read this as a child in English and I have now read it as an adult in German. So feeling extremely proud of myself.

I have tried to read a couple of children's books in German but either the story did not engage me or I was defeated by the language.
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I Celebrate Myself by Bill Morgan
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De Profundis by Oscar Wilde
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How can I possibly review this text?

I decided to read it cold and found it a strange combination of utterly compelling and other sections where I could not focus. The words kept slipping off the page. I would reread them but they did not seem to fit
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More of Andrew's books…
“When a relationship hits a crisis, the natural response is to try to fix it as quickly as possible. But in the panic, it is very easy to get confused about the true nature of the problems and head off in the wrong direction. So the first step is to truly understand.”
Andrew G. Marshall, I Love You, but I'm Not IN Love with You: Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship

“22 How would you describe your sexual relationship? 23 What would you like to happen right now? 24 How would you like your life to be in the future? Make the answer as detailed as possible. Where would you be living? What would you be doing? What would the house look like? Who else is there? 25 How might you be able to make this happen? Interpreting your answers: 1 This question is checking whether there is a general background of unhappiness.”
Andrew G. Marshall, I Love You but I'm Not in Love with You: Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship

“Fifteen to twenty-five years: These couples are busy adapting to the changes thrown at them rather than dealing with internal changes within the relationship. These can be everything from children leaving home to aging parents. By now, each partner has given up the fantasy of what the other person might be and tends to think, “He has always been like this and probably always will” or “What’s the point of talking about her bad habits; actually, they’re quite endearing.” Perversely, when someone stops trying to change us and accepts us as we are, this is when we are most likely to bend. Couples at this stage feel contented; friendship and companionship are important. With increased self-confidence and less concern about what other people think, this is often a period of sexual reawakening. The frequency might not be as high as the first stage, but the quality is much better.”
Andrew G. Marshall, I Love You, but I'm Not IN Love with You: Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship

“Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.

Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much – no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version – maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: “I like strong women.” If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because “I like strong women” is code for “I hate strong women.”)”
Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl

“We all spend so much time worrying about the future that the present moment slips right out of our hands. And so all we have left is retrospection and anticipation, retrospection and anticipation. In which case what's left to recall but past anticipation? What's left to anticipate but future retrospection?”
David Leavitt, The Two Hotel Francforts

“The angry person is acutely sensitive to all they are owed by the world, and blind to all they have received”
Jules Evans, Philosophy for Life: And Other Dangerous Situations
tags: anger




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Majenta Hello, Andrew! Good to hear from you again, Friend! Happy Monday, hope you're having a good week. Blessings!

Best wishes from Majenta


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