Molly Larkin's Blog, page 15

21 tips for turning negative thinking into positive

I was recently asked by a reader how to maintain positive thinking. He said, “every time I’m positive, or at least I think I’m positive, then negative things happen.”

Having struggled with that very issue, I promised him an answer.

I agree that when stuck in negativity, it can be hard to pull yourself out. But not impossible.

First, accept that we all go through negative thinking some of the time; the trick is to not dwell there. Like driving through a bad neighborhood, you want to get out as soon as possible!

Here are some of the things that have helped me:

1. Listen to uplifting music

2. Watch inspiring videos: I like Abraham-Hicks, Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar and Andy Andrews, all of whom can be found on YouTube.

3. Develop an “attitude of gratitude”: First thing in the morning and last thing at night, express at least five things you are grateful for.

4. Create a “book of positive aspects” in which you write down everything that goes right in your world. List everything you see around you that you can be grateful for. It’s not possible to stay negative when you are feeling gratitude. Be outrageous and inventive. Be grateful that you put your shoes on the right feet this morning.

5. Create a vision board of the positive outcomes you want in life: photos of beautiful places, clothes, etc. Look at it every day, morning and night.

6. Use affirmations. An affirmation is basically anything you say, so you want to be feeding yourself positive affirmations. I have written about affirmations before and you can read that post HERE.

7. Watch your language. When you find yourself expressing something in the negative, change your language to positive.

“The best advice I can give anyone at any time is never to complete a negative thought or statement. Because if you think or say it, it’s going into the computer in your head and can come true.” Bear Heart

It can literally be like learning a new language. I used to be a very negative person and that was reflected in my language. Once I learned the power of our words and thoughts, I started changing my language.

When asked how I’m doing, rather than list a litany of complaints, I learned to focus on what was going right in my life. It takes time, and practice, until it becomes a habit.

For example, I had a friend whose dog was dealing with a life threatening illness; whenever he was asked how the dog was doing, he’d reply, “I’m one day closer to my miracle.”

That’s a powerful way to stay upbeat and not focus on the negative aspects of the illness.

8. Re-evaluate the people you hang out with.

Do your friends reinforce negative thinking? If so, perhaps you should find new friends.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Jim Rohn

9. Read inspiring books

10. Make a list of things you enjoy doing and DO THEM.

11. Change the channel: I drive my car with the radio on, constantly changing channels looking for a song I like. I would never spend time listening to a song that I don’t enjoy, so why would I spend time listening to thoughts that bring me down?

12. Watch comedies: Norman Cousins detailed his journey of recovery in the book Anatomy of an Illness: As Perceived by the Patient (Twentieth Anniversary Edition)

. Told he had little chance of surviving an irreversible disease, he developed a recovery program incorporating megadoses of Vitamin C, positive attitude, and laughter induced by watching Marx Brothers Films.

13. Smile: it actually changes your body chemistry. Research in the U.K. found that smiling can be as stimulating as receiving up to $25,000 in cash! Smiling also has therapeutic effects such as reducing stress hormones, increasing health and lowering blood pressure.

14. Do power poses: Watch this TED talk by Amy Cuddy on the effectiveness of Power Poses.

15. Find the silver lining: The people who recover from serious illnesses are often the ones who ask,

“Why did this happen for me [as opposed to “to me?”],

“What’s the lesson in this?,

“What life changes do I need to make?”

Even without a serious illness, when faced with troubling times, ask what the lesson is.

16. Perform an act of kindness for someone, whether you know them or not. It can make their, and your, day.

17. Volunteer: get outside of yourself. Helping others makes it easier to count your blessings.

18. Surround yourself with positive sayings. Read my free e-book of inspirational quotes, What Lies Within You. [get it by filling out the form at the bottom of this post]. Post them on the mirror, refrigerator and anywhere else you’ll see them.

19. Get a makeover: buy a new outfit or get a new haircut. Often change on the outside can generate change on the inside.

20. Clean out closets and drawers: this makes space for new, good things to come in.

21. Ask yourself, “where is this negative thought coming from?”

When you do have a negative thought, ask yourself where it’s coming from.

Is it a habit?

Did something happen to cause your negativity? If so, can you rise above it?

Is it a realistic fear? Remember this acronym for FEAR: false evidence appearing real.

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” Mark Twain

What else have you found that pulls you out of negativity? Please share in the comments below.

 

Why God rested on the 7th day

As we begin a new year, many bloggers are writing about goal setting for 2015.

I have done that before and you can read my previous post HERE.

But aside from setting goals and intentions, if we want to bring about something new in our lives, we have to change what we are doing, or how we are doing it.

If you keep doing the same old thing, you will get the same old results.

Today I’m going to propose one change to your life that may make a surprising difference: more rest.

Why God rested on the 7th Day

We’ve all heard the phrase from the Bible, “And God rested on the 7th Day.” But what does it mean, really?

God is all powerful and probably doesn’t need rest Him or Her self – but there’s a message there for us: that we should get enough rest, too.

What encompasses rest?

First, slow down. There are a number of “slow” movements that have started in the past couple of decades: slow food, slow travel, slow living, slow parenting, slow science, slow thinking and more.

All are born out of a cultural shift encouraging us to slow down the hectic pace of modern life.

For example, the slow food movement was created as an antidote to fast food. Slow, mindful preparation and taking time when you sit down to a meal will inevitably lead to better health.

This is what Bear Heart, in The Wind Is My Mother, says about eating: “You need to pay attention to your stomach, what you’re putting into it and how you’re doing it, because your stomach is your biggest help – it’s where the energy that sustains your life enters your body. You think you save a lot of time by working while you eat, but then you don’t understand why you feel tired and have such bad indigestion.”

Other ways to rest:

Honor your need for sleep: New research indicates that lack of sleep leads to decreased brain function and increased risks of heart disease and obesity.

In one study, researchers found that subjects who slept just six hours a night for 14 days had the cognitive function of someone with a .1% blood alcohol level. That’s legally drunk.

There is no magic number as to how much sleep we each need, as the amount can vary according to age and lifestyle. Seven to eight hours seems to be the norm, but we each have to be the judge of what’s right for us.

Balance work and play: Have fun! Every day, every week, and find balance in all you to.

“Some people read heavy books, one after another. It’s really an imbalance. I read plain old westerns, then I’m ready to read something like Carl Jung’s God’s Answer to Job and I can just drink it all in. Then I leave that for awhile and I’ll get back to a lighter topic.” Bear Heart

Time for self: I had a friend who created a highly successful chain of dental practices who attributed his success to taking “time for self” – every three months he would go camping for the weekend. No phone, no media – just total relaxation time in nature.

He considered it one of the keys to his success. 

Silence: Sit in silence or meditation now and then. Unplug. Turn off the TV. 

“The beauty of silence, the lack of frenzied activity for period of time helps us collect our thoughts and center our lives so we can maintain a sense of calm when we return to the hectic society and resume our work.” Bear Heart 

Vacations: Research shows that vacations are one of the best ways to relieve stress and increase productivity and job performance. It can reduce depression, increase family cohesion, foster creative thinking and improve well-being.

According to a recent Reuters/Ipsos poll, only 57% of U.S. workers use up all of the days they’re entitled to, compared with 89% of workers in France.

More than two-dozen industrialized countries mandate at least four weeks or more paid vacation per year, compared to the norm of two weeks in the U.S. In fact, much of the rest of the world calls the U.S. the “no vacation nation.”

Breaks during the day are scientifically proven to boost focus and productivity. The Draugiem Group recently conducted an experiment to track the work/break habits of its most highly effective employees. The magic numbers were working for 52 minutes, followed by a 17-minute break.

Others find that working in 90-minute spurts is found to be most effective and productive; then take a break where you step away from the computer and move your body.

The most effective breaks are those that involve deep breathing, meditation or yoga. So, don’t work longer – work smarter.

Naps: A 25-30 minute nap is an effective energy-booster according to sleep expert Dr. Michael Breus.

Meditation: Meditation lowers blood pressure, lowers stress, amps up your immune system, decreases pain, improves mood. Need I say more?

Spa time – A hot bath, massage and energy healing sessions can help you totally relax. Time at the spa is one of my favorite ways to relax and de-stress.

So pick at least one of the above methods to refresh and renew yourself. And here’s a story to help motivate you.

How do you sharpen your ax?

A long time ago, two zen masters engaged in a wood cutting contest. The one who chopped the most wood in a given time would win.

Every time Master Wu looked over at his competitor, Master Chen, Chen was sitting down.

Wu thought, “I am going to win this contest easily!”

They chopped wood all day, and still, every time Wu looked over at Chen, he was sitting down.

At the end of the day, the two wood piles were measured and, much to Wu’s surprise, Master Chen had chopped more wood!

Master Wu exclaimed, “How is this possible? For every time I looked at you, you were sitting down!”

Master Chen replied, “Ah, but when I was sitting, I was not merely taking a break – I was sharpening my ax.”

So sharpen your ax by incorporating some of the above rest strategies into your life. You’ll be the better for it.

After all, even God rested on the 7th Day.

Season’s Greetings!

Wishing you peace, love and light now and forever!

Here’s a small gift from me: a link to my 7 minute

guided meditation video: You Are Light

 

The Winter Solstice – why it’s the true new year

Winter Solstice is the day when light is reborn out of the darkness of winter. Our days start to become longer and lead us back to the beauty of spring and the warmth of summer, stretching towards their peak at the Summer Solstice.

Most ancient cultures celebrated this return of light and life with feasting, music, light and fire, and for many, it was the true beginning of the New Year.

It was so important to the pre-Celt ancients of Ireland that they spent over 30 years building a monument to the returning sun: Newgrange.

Older than Stonehenge and the pyramids of Giza, it was designed so that on the Winter Solstice, the rising sun shines directly along the long passage into the inner chamber and for 17 minutes illuminates the chamber floor and the symbols etched on the back wall.

What did the Ancients know that we don’t?

It’s hard for the modern mind to imagine spending 30 years building something to celebrate a three-day event. Yet, that’s how important the Winter Solstice was to the ancients.

There are still traditional cultures around the world today that believe that the ceremonies they conduct on a daily, monthly and yearly basis keep the earth spinning on its axis. I share their belief.

The sun has never missed a day of brightening planet earth, but do we want to take that for granted?

We would not be able to live without the sun — it brings warmth and light and allows growing things to flourish.

The time of the Winter Solstice is rich with meaning

Solstice ceremonies traditionally involve fire, which represents the sun, and an invitation to the sun to return to bring us warmth and light.

The Christmas trees and wreaths we use at this time of year represent a prayer for the return of the green.

The circular wreath represents the circle of life — everything returns and comes full circle.

Holiday lights represent the Solstice fires of old, celebrating the sun and inviting its return.

Let’s consciously turn on our lights, or light our fires, with a prayer for a return of the warm, sun-filled seasons of spring and summer, and celebrate the circle of life.

Winter Solstice is a time to go inside

Winter lends itself to introspection. The original Winter Solstice celebrations were 12 days long [hence, “The Twelve Days of Christmas”].

This is the time to take a break, and digest the events and lessons of the past year, before blossoming forth into the new.

Our failure to take down time in winter may be one reason we get colds and the flu this time of year!

A Solstice Celebration

The beginning of the New Year is an excellent time to set our intentions for the next year and leave behind what no longer serves us.

I have held Winter Solstice ceremonies for many years to celebrate this time of endings and new beginnings. Here’s what I include, in case you would like to have one of your own:

A drumming circle to celebrate life and all things we wish to honor
Two burning bowl ceremonies:
In the first we write down what we want to release from the past year so as to make room for the new.
For the second we write down what we want to invite in for the New Year and send that up as a prayer of gratitude and intention.
Then we share a pot -luck meal and celebrate our new beginnings.

And by the way: the Winter Solstice of 2012 was NOT the END…

There was much tumult in 2012 over the idea that 12/21/12 was the end of the Mayan calendar and perhaps the end of the world. And we’re still here.

What it did signify in the Mayan system was the end of one calendar and the start of a new calendar: the time of new beginnings.

This is what Evo Morales, President of Bolivia, said about December 21, 2012 in a speech to the United Nations on September 26, 2012:

“And I would like to say that according to the Mayan calendar the 21st of December is the end of the non-time and the beginning of time.

It is the end of the Macha and the beginning of the Pacha.

It is the end of selfishness & the beginning of brotherhood.

It is the end of individualism and the beginning of collectivism.

The end of hatred and the beginning of love.

The end of lies and the beginning of truth.

It is the end of sadness and the beginning of joy.

It is the end of division and the beginning of unity.”

Last year I asked us all to commit to renewing our lives to live in such a sacred manner during our next walk around the sun.

How did it go for you in the past year?

I invite you to recommit to living the principles of peace, love, truth, joy and unity in the coming year.

Wishing you a blessed holiday season!

If you celebrate the Solstice, please feel free to share about it in the comments section below.

[Note: this post first appeared December 19, 2012]

 

Save the wolves, save ourselves

“Listen to the howl of our spiritual brother, the wolf; for how it goes with him, so it goes for the natural world.” Oren R. Lyons, Spokesman, Traditional Circle of Elders

Your family plays, forms loving bonds and social hierarchies, raises children and works to sustain itself, just like every other family.

But on a regular basis, your family members are slaughtered, just for being alive in the world today.

I could be talking about any minority group, anywhere in the world. But today I’m talking about wolves.

Mysterious, mystical, misunderstood wolves.

I wrote about wolves in May 2013 in a post called, “The Nature of Wolves and the Nature of Man.” You can read that post HERE.

At the time, I was focused on the dangers our spiritual brothers and sisters face here in the United States.   But recently I was contacted by a reader in Sweden who told me about the danger of wolf hunts in Sweden and asked me to share that news. There is a link at the bottom of this post for signing a petition to call for their protection.

Below is a 4-minute video on how the presence of wolves has a cascading effect on ecosystems by changing the behavior of deer, regenerating forests and stabilizing rivers. It’s almost miraculous. Wolves restore ecosystems by their very existence.

Yet we want to hunt them for trophies? There’s no logical reason for it. It’s like the old example of the foolish man cutting off the branch on which he’s sitting.

“We are living on the planet as if we have another one to go to.” Terry Swearingen

Are we de-sensitizing ourselves into extinction?

“The world lives within us, we live within the world. By damaging the living planet we have diminished our existence.”

“We have been able to do this partly as a result of our ability to compartmentalize. This is another remarkable capacity we have developed, which perhaps reflects the demands of survival in the ever more complex human world we have created. By carving up the world in our minds we have learnt to shut ourselves out of it.

“We eat meat without even remembering that it has come from an animal, let alone picturing the conditions of its rearing and slaughter. We make no connection in our compartmentalized minds between the beef on our plates and the destruction of rainforests to grow the soya that fed the cattle; between the miles we drive and the oil wells drilled in rare and precious places, and the spills that then pollute them.” George Monbiot, 12/9/2014: “Civilization is Boring”

We become unconnected by our inaction. We go unconscious, and shut ourselves off, rather than have to live with the pain our modern lifestyle and inaction causes countless forms of life.

The old film and television show MASH is a prime example of how people sometimes deal with carnage and death surrounding them: make jokes. The other option in such circumstances is to go insane.

But there are other options: to take action.

Let’s stop, think, get in touch with our hearts, and take even one small step to stand up for our relatives who have no voice.

Below is a series of links to wolf protection petitions. Please take a few moments to let your voice be heard. The more people who speak up, the more likely we are to change the laws that allow this needless slaughter.

For in the end, we are only hurting ourselves.

Petitions to protect wolves

It literally took me just 6 minutes, 20 seconds to sign all these on-line petitions. Probably the most productive 6 minutes of my day.

Sierra Club Petition for Protection of Wolves

MoveOn.org Petition to Protect Wolves

Change.org Petition to Protect Wolves

https://www.change.org/p/wolves-need-federal-protection

Sweden: Stand up for Swedish wolves here. We are all one world community: https://www.change.org/p/stand-up-for-swedish-wolves-please-sign-and-share-this-petition

Currently five states in the U.S. allow wolf hunting: Michigan, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Montana, Idaho . You can speak up by signing petitions below:

Idaho: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/save-idaho-wolves/

Michigan: In spite of Michigan voters rejecting wolf hunt referenda, state law hasn’t been changed and wolf hunting is still allowed. Apparently lobbyist money counts more than citizen votes.

Minnesota: sign a letter to suspend the hunt, which has already exceeded the 2014 quota. http://www.howlingforwolves.org/letter

Montana: https://www.change.org/p/stop-the-unjustified-killing-and-hunting-of-montana-s-wolves-use-science

Wisconsin: http://animalpetitions.org/30896/save-wolves-from-imminent-extinction-2/

 

Rachel Carson: “But man is a part of nature, and his war against nature is inevitably a war against himself.”

 

A Native American Thanksgiving Prayer

I have published this prayer for the past two years during Thanksgiving week. It is timeless and appropriate at any time of year, but particularly now.

Thanksgiving prayers are common to most religious groups. Native Americans had entire ceremonies just for the purpose of expressing thanks – sometimes the ceremonies lasted for days.

This Thanksgiving Prayer comes from the Seneca Nation and is at least 500 years old.

It is traditionally done around a fire, with spiritual food on the altar. I have adapted it to be used as a Thanksgiving Prayer on our national holiday:

Seneca Thanksgiving Prayer 

And now we are gathered together to remember the Great Mystery’s first instruction to us: to love one another always, we who move about on this earth.

And the Great Mystery said that when even just two people meet, they should first greet each other by saying: “Nyah Weh Skenno” which translates to “thank you for being” and then they may take up the matter with which they are concerned. 

[Nyah Weh Skenno more literally means: “thank you for being alive in the here and now and not adding to the confusion of the world.”]

The Great Mystery gave us our lives and requires in return only that we be grateful and love one another. The purpose of this prayer is to pass on those instructions and give us the opportunity to express our gratitude.

So the first thing we will do is give thanks for our lives.

And the Great Mystery gave us the Earth on which to live and roam. We refer to her as “Our Mother, Who Supports Our Feet.”

And our mother gives us everything we need in order to live and be happy. She teaches us to be generous and nurturing, yet strong.

Let us be of one mind that we may do this properly.   We give thanks for Our Mother Who Supports Our Feet.

And the Great Mystery decided to have Plants growing on the earth. They are available in abundance as Medicines to heal us and Food to sustain us.

And we have Berries which come back every year when the winds turn warm again.   In giving thanks for them, we give thanks for the warm winds that usher in the season of abundance.

Let us be of one mind that we may do this properly.   We give thanks for Plants and Berries.

And the Great Mystery gave us the life’s blood of our mother to sustain us.   When the new day dawns, the first thing we use is Water and it’s the last thing we use at night.   It comes from the springs, brooks, ponds, lakes and rivers. It is found not only on the earth, but even falls from the heavens in the form of blessed rain.

Let us be of one mind that we may do this properly.   We give thanks for Sacred Water.

And the Great Mystery decided to put Forests on the earth.   The trees of the forest provide warmth, fuel and protection. We call them our Tall Standing Brothers and they live their lives drinking in the sun. When they die and give themselves for the fire, they represent the Sun here on earth.

One tree was created to remind us of the Great Mystery. The Maples stand on the earth and drip sweet liquid when the cold wind blows. Our elders called this “wood juice” — it gives us energy and lightens our spirits during the long cold winters and is a great gift.

Let us be of one mind that we may do this properly.   We give thanks for Our Tall Standing Brothers, the Trees.

And the Animals are a great gift – they are our friends and relatives upon the earth. The four leggeds test us and amuse us; they’re our teachers and companions. And they provide food and clothing for the people.

And there are Birds with outstretched wings who dance upon the air and sing a beautiful song that ushers in the warm spring. And they also provide us with food.

Let us be of one mind that we may do this properly.   We give thanks for the Animal and Bird Nations.

And the Great Mystery gave the people another gift, to sustain them: the Three Sisters: Corn, Beans And Squash. The people are to take care of them, plant them in the earth, tend them as they grow, and harvest them. This will strengthen the hearts and sustain the bodies of the people.

Let us be of one mind that we may do this properly.   We give thanks for the Three Sisters: Corn, Beans and Squash.

The Wind strengthens the people as they move about on the earth. It strengthens our breath, clears the air as well as our minds and carries the voice of the ancient ones all over the earth so that, even in the desert, the smallest whisper reminds us we are never alone.

Let us be of one mind that we may do this properly.   We give thanks for the Wind.

And the Great Mystery fashioned a sky above us and put a helper in the sky who moves about across the earth, yet lives in the sky.   This helper always comes from the east and travels to the west. His heart is so big and strong, and his love for his relations so great, that he lights the entire sky when he passes by. This light is our Elder Brother, The Sun.

The Sun takes that obligation seriously and with great regard, for he never misses a day of this journey. He brings us light, and warmth and allows growing things to flourish.

Let us be of one mind that we may do this properly.   We give thanks for our Elder Brother, the Sun.

But there is also a time when the earth is in shadow so the Great Mystery gave us another helper for this time: the Night Circle Of Light, our Grandmother, the Moon. Our grandmother is a measure for us up to this present time. She changes her form daily: she regulates the tides on our mother the earth and also in the bodies of women. She also taught us how to measure through the cycle of the seasons.

Let us be of one mind that we may do this properly.   We give thanks for the Night Circle of Light, Grandmother Moon.

And the Great Mystery also put the Stars in the sky while it is dark. They are indicators and we can find our way by them. Each one has a name, and there is one for every human on the earth, those living now and those who have passed on.

Let us be of one mind that we may do this properly.   We give thanks for the Star Nation.

The Four Winds, the directions, are our protectors. Wherever we go, wherever we stand, we are at the center of the four winds, and we want to speak good words to them so that they may bless us with their protection.

Let us be of one mind that we may do this properly.   We give thanks for the Four Winds.

And the Great Mystery saw that the people also needed guidance so he sent Clan Ancestors to teach understanding of the Great Mystery.   Our clan ancestors teach us how to love one another and give guidance to our minds. They hold great knowledge and our future depends on how well we listen to them.

Let us be of one mind that we may do this properly.   We give thanks for our Clan Ancestors.

And the Great Mystery, told us this: “I shall continue to dwell above the sky, and that is where those on the earth will end their thanksgiving. I shall always be listening carefully to what the people are saying and shall always be watching carefully what they do. They will begin on the earth, giving thanks for all that they see. They will carry that gratitude upward, ending where I dwell.” 

We want to live well to earn that right.

Let us be of one mind that we may do this properly.   We give thanks for the one who gives us our lives, the Great Mystery.

[At this time express gratitude for other aspects of your life]

Closing:  

            May our grief be lifted,

            Our hearts be open,

            Our stomach be full,

            Our bones be braced,

            And our will be calmed.

  It is spoken, it is beautiful.

 

And I wish you a blessed holiday and thank you for being alive in the here and now and not adding to the confusion of the world.

 

 

When life hands you lemons…

“What to do when life hands you lemons” is not the post I had planned for this week.

But I got handed a bunch of lemons – figuratively – by being stranded for three days [going on four] just three hours from home due to a blizzard.

When life throws us curves [the proverbial lemons] we have choices: to fret and moan and sulk, or make the best of it.

Hence the analogy to the classic piece of advice: when life hands you lemons, make lemonade.

My lemonade story

This past weekend, I taught a healing seminar in upper Wisconsin in the U.S.

My seven-hour drive home entailed driving south through Wisconsin and Illinois, through the great city of Chicago, and around the bottom of Lake Michigan to return to my home in Southwest Michigan.

Monday morning as I was en route, I received a call from the friend taking care of my animals that there were blizzard conditions in Michigan and I shouldn’t even think about trying to make it home.

My first thought was, “Holy $%^”

But then I went into solution mode and called a good friend who lives in Chicago and asked if she could put me up. Ironically, she lives in both Chicago and Michigan and was stranded in Michigan and couldn’t get home to Chicago.

So here I am staying in her lovely Chicago apartment, with doormen who escort me up and down the elevator, overlooking beautiful Lake Michigan from the Chicago side.

The sun is out and it couldn’t be lovelier [though it is VERY cold!]. And yet on the other side of the great lake is a blizzard. Hard to fathom.

I was determined not to let my initial frustration rule the day. How could I turn this situation around?

Here’s what I came up with:

Find something to be grateful for: I’m grateful that I have a generous friend providing me with a place to stay.


Be flexible and inquisitive– learn to embrace sudden change. What can you do differently now that you’re thrown out of your routine? 

I have my laptop with me and am taking the opportunity to catch up on email and phone calls, write this week’s blog post and watch videos that educate and inspire me:

•  Talks on TED.com

•  Brendon Burchard

•  Tony Robbins

•  Webinars

•  And a myriad of educational videos on health and the body/mind connection that add to my knowledge base for teaching and writing.

Stay disciplined: there are things I do every day at home that are a little more challenging to do while traveling and teaching: meditate and work out and eat well. So I walked to the store to buy the healthy food I’m used to, and found online yoga classes to take on yogainternational.com

The above three things are also things I need to be doing when I’m home. The more we practice a productive, healthy routine, the easier it becomes!

What lemons have you been handed and how can you turn it around?

Start with focusing on what works and be grateful for the little things.

Commit to those core daily practices that help you maintain a rhythm of balance: daily spiritual practice, healthy diet and some form of exercise.

That project you’ve been putting off? Now’s the time.

What action do you need to take that you’ve been procrastinating on?

Get serious about using your time well. Imagine you’re snowed in. Block out distractions and just get it done.

The last time I was snowed in for three days by a blizzard, I built a website!

A friend of mine is working on a book. He has a demanding full time job, so he’s blocked out weekends for writing. It’s inspired me to carve out special writing time, too.

When I was working on The Wind Is My Mother, I also had a full-time job. So I set the alarm for 5 am every morning and wrote for two hours before I had to go to my job.

Small steps add up to big results.

No time? I don’t believe it. Watch one less T.V. show a day and put that time into your special project.

And don’t buy into limiting beliefs – be expansive. What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

Be daring and adventurous.

In the words of the Nike commercial, “just do it!”

Use your challenges to your advantage. And please let me know how it works out for you!

 

8 Lessons learned failing the “no sugar challenge”

Well, I’m embarrassed to report that, after posting three weeks ago about my great start, I now get to report on lessons learned failing the “30-day no sugar challenge.”

Technically, I wrote about a 10-day no sugar challenge proposed by the documentary Fed Up, but I was undertaking 30 days of no sugar.

But whether 10 days, or 30, I failed.

However, I did learn a lot [about myself and sugar] which I felt was worth sharing.

The goal, set by my friend Gary, was to avoid anything with sugar in it for 30 days.

Here’s why I failed

1. SUGAR IS IN EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!! Even if it doesn’t say “sugar,” there are 56 other terms for it – see the chart in my original post.

2. I didn’t read all the nutrition labels I should have. Such as my organic hemp protein powder. I don’t know why there’s sugar in it, but there was, and I didn’t read the nutrition label until 10 days in.

That was just one of many sugar surprises.

3. Then there were foods already opened in my refrigerator that I hated to throw away [my mother drilled into me a long time ago not to waste food!] So I ate them as long as the sugar content was very low, such as 2 grams per serving.

4. Then there was the problem of denial: I have developed a habit of having a Starbucks Grande Soy Chai on the days I teach seminars. Since I don’t drink coffee, it’s my little bit of caffeine boost to pump me up for the day.

I didn’t look up the sugar content of a Grande Soy Chai until last week, by which time I had downed five of them in three weeks.

I was in for a mega-shock: 42 grams in one chai – almost twice the daily maximum of sugar recommended by the American Heart Association!

So no more Starbucks Chai for me.

What were the lessons from failing?

FIRST LESSON: what is failure anyway? – it’s not meeting an intended objective.

But perhaps my objective wasn’t realistic.

I’m not saying this to make excuses, but I honestly believe eating no sugar for any period of time beyond a few days is almost impossible if you live in the U.S.A. It’s a main ingredient in 80% of our food supply.

SECOND LESSON: re-evaluate your goal.

If your goal was unrealistic, re-set a new, more achievable goal.

Why did you set the goal? What was your intention? Perhaps with some adjustments to your plan, you can still achieve the goal. I wanted to cut down on sugar and lose weight. I achieved that with my modified plan.

Space shuttles are technically off course 90% of the time because they are heading towards a moving target. So they constantly correct course. We can do the same.

So, having learned that no sugar at all was an unrealistic target, I changed my goal to: No more than 24 grams of sugar a day. This is what the American Heart Association recommends for women [and 36 grams for men].

I can do that. And even averaging in my five Starbucks Chai Teas, I did succeed at being well below 24 grams most days.

THIRD LESSON: reevaluate your plan and be better prepared next time: I had a poor plan because I didn’t read all labels.

“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” Benjamin Franklin

And build up to it. No one runs a marathon without having run before! Work up to it. I needed time to research what had sugar in it and to find alternatives. Instead, I jumped on the bandwagon the day Gary suggested the challenge.

FOURTH LESSON: what did you learn? – that may be the most important thing of all.

“Failure isn’t fatal, but failure to change might be.” John Wooden

FIFTH LESSON: Reframe the failure. What went right?

There’s really no such thing as failure – only feedback and learning.

Thomas Edison undertook 1,000 attempts before developing a successful prototype for the light bulb.

Asked by a reporter, “How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?”

Edison replied: “I didn’t fail 1000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”

I failed at “no sugar at all” but I succeeded at having less than the maximum recommended daily amount for 30 straight days. Yay me!

Don’t beat yourself up for not achieving a goal when you’ve actually achieved more than you ever would have before.

“Reach for the stars; even if you fail, you might still touch the moon.”

SIXTH LESSON: Take responsibility for your results.

I take full responsibility for not reading all the labels, and choosing to eat some things I knew had sugar, no matter how little sugar.

Taking responsibility is how we grow character and learn. Research shows that if you take personal ownership of the outcome, you’re more likely to learn from and work harder after that mistake.

Life is about learning, adjusting and celebrating.

SEVENTH LESSON: Celebrate what went right, not what went wrong. I probably averaged less than 10 grams of sugar a day. Pretty darn good.

Remind yourself why you want to do it. I wanted to cut down on sugar and I did. I wanted to lose weight and I did. So I celebrate that.

EIGHTH LESSON: Have a partner in your venture. Someone to help motivate and inspire you. Give you pep-talks when you’re about to falter. I didn’t consult with my friend Gary enough!

“When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.” Ellen DeGeneres

The only failure is not to try!

Why anger is a wall we need to knock down

Like many people, I’ve always been uncomfortable with anger.

I don’t like to get angry, and I don’t like to be around angry people.

I’m also very slow to anger but, true to my Irish heritage, when I do, watch out!

And over the years as I’ve meditated more, and done more self-healing, I’ve been rather pleased with how calm I usually am.

So imagine my surprise at finding myself angry quite frequently over the past month.

Mind you, there have been things going on in my life that many people would say justify anger.

But that is not an excuse for someone like me who is trying to live her life at the highest vibration possible.

Healing from our anger can be one of the most powerful ways to move our lives forward.

Walls built of anger

Best-selling author Wayne Dyer, Ph.D., tells the story of holding onto anger toward the alcoholic, abusive father who abandoned him and his family when Dyer was just an infant.

His mother had three children under four years old at the time and struggled to make ends meet, as the father never paid any support.

For awhile, Dyer’s mother put the children into foster care until she could afford to support them.

Dyer spent his first ten years in foster care and orphanages, building up a powerful anger towards his father. He’d heard stories his whole life about his father being an alcoholic, womanizer, thief and spending time in prison.

Meanwhile, Dyer put himself through college, and earned a Ph.D.

When he learned of his father’s death in 1974, Dyer went to visit his grave with the intent to let out his anger, both physically and verbally.

He spent two hours cursing at his father’s grave.

He then went to his car intending to leave, but something called him back to the gravesite, where he found himself saying, “From this moment on, I send you love. Who am I to judge you? You did what you knew how to do, given the conditions of your life.”

Dyer’s life had been going nowhere up to that point in time, but his life changed when he got rid of the rage and anger he’d held towards his father.

Anger acts like a wall, keeping good out. Forgiving his father knocked down that wall.

Wayne Dyer went on to write a book in 14 days called “Your Erroneous Zones” – it became a best-seller and launched his career.

Dyer considers his father his greatest teacher because if he hadn’t gotten that rage out of himself, he wouldn’t have moved on with his life.

He attributes all his success to forgiveness: “If you have anything in your heart other than love, you have to get it out.”

“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew that if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.” Nelson Mandela

What is anger?

The American Psychological Association says “anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you’re at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.

“Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival. But how long do you hold onto it? Release it and let it go.”

That losing control aspect is the reason the great Lakota warrior Crazy Horse wouldn’t let a warrior overcome by anger go into battle with him.

Strategies for dealing with anger

ONE: Use relaxation techniques:

Breathe deeply
Slowly repeat a calming word such as peace, relax or “serenity now” as you breathe deeply
Use relaxing imagery
Gentle yoga or stretching can relax your muscles and make you feel calmer.

Practice these things on a regular basis so you can call on them automatically when in a tense situation.

TWO: Don’t jump to conclusions about why the other person did what they did. 

Walk a mile in their moccasins. Try to see the other person’s side of the story.

What is it in the other person’s makeup that caused them to act that way against you?

Any couple’s counselor will tell you there are three sides to every story: yours, their’s and the truth in between.

Most people are able to see very little objectively.

“If we could read the secret history of our enemies we would find in each man’s sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

THREE: Slow down and wait until you have all the facts before reacting.

When I’m upset about something, I try to follow the rule of not responding right away. I wait a day or two before sending that email.

That time may lead me to a calmer way to respond.

When I haven’t waited, I’ve usually regretted it.

FOUR: Change your environment  

Go for a walk. Give yourself breaks.

I heard about a working mother who comes home from work with the rule “no one talks to mom for the next 15 minutes unless the house is on fire.”

FIVE: Use some releasing techniques  

Dig a hole and shout into it


Beat the ground or a rock with a big stick 


Write a letter you don’t mail expressing all your anger and frustration 

SIX: Try to see the situation differently  

Leonard Sheff, co-author of “The Cow in the Parking Lot; A Zen Approach to Overcoming Anger,” summarizes his shift about anger with this analogy:

Imagine you are circling a crowded parking lot when, just as you spot a space, another driver races ahead and takes it.

Easy to imagine the rage.

But now imagine that instead of another driver, a cow has lumbered into that parking space and settled down. The anger dissolves into bemusement.

What really changed? You— and your perspective.

SEVEN: Work on forgiveness

Take a look at any relationship in which you hold anger or judgment towards the other person.

Replace those thoughts with compassion and understanding.

In the words of Wayne Dyer, your biggest enemy is your teacher, forcing you to dig deep to find that forgiveness and compassion.

When you hold on to resentments you’re allowing the other person to run your life.

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mark Twain

EIGHT: Seek counseling if your anger is really out of control.

You may not be able to eliminate anger, but it’s likely you can change the way you let it affect you.

Anger keeps you in a low vibration, and we don’t want to live there.

“If you’re going to pursue revenge, you’d better dig two graves.” Chinese proverb  

Don’t let someone else take control of your energy and your thoughts. 

The bottom line is that only you can make yourself angry.

What techniques have you found for dealing with anger? Please let me know in the comments section below.

The 10-day no sugar challenge! Will you join me?

A couple of weeks ago my friend Gary posted on Facebook that he was going to do 30 days of yoga and no sugar and asked who would join him.

I was the only taker! And neither Gary nor I had even watched the documentary “Fed Up” yet.

“Fed Up” proposes a 10-day no sugar challenge. If you go to the website www.fedupmovie.com you can sign up to join the challenge and get helpful reminder emails for 10 days.

You can watch the “Fed Up” trailer at the end of this post.

I am now on day 11 and feeling great. But I’m surprised no one else wanted to join us so I thought a blog post on why we should be avoiding sugar was in order.

Because sugar is slowly killing us as a nation.

The Fat Fallacy

In the mid-1970s, a misconception swept the U.S that the fat in dairy and meat made us fat, birthing the “non-fat,” “fat-free,” and “reduced fat” movement.

Food was engineered to reduce or eliminate the fat, which made it taste terrible, so sugar was added to make the food palatable.

Scientists have since learned that it’s the added sugar that makes us fat, not the natural fat found in food.

The 30 years that Americans have been eating non-fat, sugar-pumped foods have given rise to an unparalleled obesity epidemic.

In the history of mistakes, replacing relatively harmless fat with harmful sugar was a pretty big one!

Shocking sugar facts

ONE. 80% of processed foods in the U.S. contain sugar – and sugar is highly addictive which means we will just buy more of it.

80% of the U.S. food supply is also genetically modified, but that’s a post for another day.

The average American today eats 30 times more sugar in a year than the average American did 100 years ago!!! Thirty — that’s not a typo.  150 pounds of sugar today versus 5 pounds a year in 1900.

TWO:   Take a look at the Nutrition Facts Panel on the back of anything in your pantry or refrigerator. It lists the quantity of fat, cholesterol, sodium, fiber, sugars and protein. On the right hand side is the % of the recommended daily value [100% is the amount we are encouraged to consume in a day].

Did you ever notice that there is no percentage after the sugar content? Neither did I.

The sugar industry claims there is no % RDV because the government hasn’t set one. We have sugar industry lobbyists to thank for that.

In fact, much of our food, in one serving, far surpasses the daily amount recommended by the American Heart Association.

We’ve been lulled into complacency by the food industry to accept whatever’s on the Nutrition Facts label, even if it contains a glaring omission and hides the fact that we’re eating way more sugar than is good for us.

THREE: The food industry has steadily been increasing the amount of sugar in the food marketed to children such as cereals, fast food and soda. The result is the first generation of children expected to have a shorter lifespan than their parents.

One school teacher interviewed in “Fed Up” said she used to have 1 child in 10 who was obese, but today that number is 8 out of 10!

Childhood obesity rates have doubled in the last 30 years, since sugar started being added to our food supply.

The average American consumes 22 teaspoons [88 grams] of sugar a day – almost four times what the World Health Organization says is a healthy amount.

According to the American Heart Association, women should have no more than 6 teaspoons [24 grams] per day and men no more than 9 teaspoons [36 grams].

The average child consumes 32 teaspoons [128 grams] a day!

The American Heart Association recommends 4-8 year olds have 3 teaspoons [12 grams] of sugar a day and preteens about 6 teaspoons [24 grams]. A serving of Fruit Loops cereal contains 12 grams of sugar.

One candy bar can contain more sugar than you should eat in a day.

Carbonated soft drinks are the largest source of refined sugar in the American diet: 40 grams in an average 12-ounce soda can.

Have you read the sugar content in your “organic” energy bars? Shocking, which is why I gave them up a year ago.

The average American consumes 3.2 cups of sugar a week, which is the equivalent of 27 candy bars.

FOUR: The future. The consumption of sugar is growing faster than the world population.

It’s predicted that within 20 years, 95% of Americans will be overweight or obese.

That in turn leads to a concern that in another generation we will have a shortage of military, police and other first responders because they won’t be able to pass the physical due to the obesity epidemic.

FIVE: Refined sugar is linked to a host of diseases such as:

heart disease,
high blood pressure,
hypoglycemia,
diabetes,
depression,
acne,
headaches,
depression,
hardening of the arteries,
fatigue,
hyperactivity and
tooth decay.

Type 2 diabetes has increased three-fold in the past 30 years, coinciding with the increase in sugary food products.

SIX: Sugar is as addictive as cocaine; it releases an opiate-like substance that activates the brain’s reward system. Brain scans after sugar consumption are similar to those after someone has taken cocaine or heroine.

SEVEN: Refined sugar has no nutritional value. It contains no vitamins, minerals, enzymes, fats or fiber. Everything beneficial is removed during the refining process.

According to Robert Lustig M.D., author of “Sugar: The Bitter Truth,”

“We’re biologically programmed to like sweets—our tongues and brains know that no food on the planet is both sweet and poisonous. It was a test for our hunting-and-gathering ancestors: If a food is sweet, it won’t kill you. It’s ironic because that’s exactly what sugar is doing to us now.”

Tips for reducing sugar intake

The Fed Up Challenge is to go sugar-free for ten days.

I know that eliminating sugar entirely when we’re addicted to it, and it’s in everything, is hard. But even just limiting sugar intake to the American Heart Association guidelines will be a big step in the right direction.

I haven’t had too hard a time with it because, as a vegan, my diet was already pretty clean.

But I’ve noticed that as I detox from sugar, even the Stevia [see below] I put in my tea is starting to taste too sweet to me! Interesting.

Also, I’m no longer craving the dark chocolate I used to have after every meal. [yes, every meal].

And I’ve lost three pounds in the past 11 days!

Read food labels and aim to buy products with less sugar. Just because a product doesn’t list “sugar” in the ingredients doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Almost all processed food contains added sugar.

Here are the other names for it:

Shop on the outer aisles of the supermarket. That’s where the produce, meat and dairy are found. The inner aisles contain processed, sugar-added foods.

Eat whole fruit instead of fruit juices, which are high in natural sugar.

Avoid sweetened drinks such as soda, lemonade, iced tea “power drinks” which are like liquid candy! The only thing I drink every day is water. I’ve even given up beer and wine during the challenge.

If you need sweetener, use Stevia from the health food store in your coffee and tea -– that’s what I use. [other artificial sweeteners are toxic].

The leaves of the stevia plant have been used for centuries by native peoples to sweeten foods, with no evidence of harm. It’s also been used safely in Japan for over 30 years. You can also grow the stevia plant at home.

This Halloween, have a jar of nickels by your front door and give nickels out instead of candy. Do you really want to encourage childhood obesity by giving out candy?

Re-think your breakfast cereal and energy bars.  That energy boost you’re getting is just from the sugar.

Eliminate one thing at a time. If you drink 3 sodas a day, cut down to two.

Don’t have cookies and candies in the house. As a chocola-holic, that’s my solution. If it’s not in the house, I can’t eat it. Save yourself for special occasions out.

But the most important thing is to just try to cut back on junk food and sodas. Read labels, eat out less, cook good meals at home. You’ve heard it all before.

But maybe now it’s clearer than ever that the standard American diet [SAD] is killing us. It’s called SAD for a reason!

If you try the challenge, I’d love to hear how it goes for you. Good luck!

 

Sources for this post:

 

 

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4543/14-MindBlowing-Facts-About-Sugar-Infographic.html

http://www.salon.com/2014/08/25/9_sho...

http://www.framingham.edu/food-and-nutrition/documents/sugar-facts.pdf