Misti Rainwater-Lites

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Misti Rainwater-Lites

Goodreads Author

in Bridgeport, Texas, The United States




Member Since
January 2008


Misti Rainwater-Lites writes books and deals in impossibilities. Her novel Bullshit Rodeo is available at amazon and from Tree Killer Ink. Misti shakes that metaphorical ass at Chupacabra Disco on a spastic basis.

WordPress へようこそ。これは最初の投稿です。編集もしくは削除してブログを始めてください !

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Published on July 17, 2013 20:04 • 129 views
Average rating: 4.79 · 185 ratings · 35 reviews · 21 distinct works
Bullshit Rodeo

4.94 avg rating — 18 ratings — published 2014
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Cum Repository

4.86 avg rating — 7 ratings — published 2013 — 2 editions
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Blank Cake

it was amazing 5.00 avg rating — 5 ratings — published 2010
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4.50 avg rating — 4 ratings — published 2012
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Connubial Blistered

it was amazing 5.00 avg rating — 3 ratings — published 2010
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Nova's Gone Potty

4.67 avg rating — 3 ratings — published 2010 — 2 editions
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Walking the Earth

it was amazing 5.00 avg rating — 1 rating — published 2014
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Fuck Poetry

4.37 avg rating — 27 ratings — published 2011
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Too Much: Tales of Excess

4.94 avg rating — 17 ratings — published 2014
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Ectoplasmic Necropolis

4.88 avg rating — 17 ratings — published 2008
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More books by Misti Rainwater-Lites…

Upcoming Events

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Blue Moon (Poetry)
1 chapters   —   updated May 13, 2015 06:35PM
Description: a poem made of feathers & blood
No Sugar (Drama)
1 chapters   —   updated May 13, 2015 06:35PM
Description: the photo shoot went well
Breathing (Health, Mind & Body)
1 chapters   —   updated May 13, 2015 06:35PM
Description: it's a living thing
Fuck Doll (Mystery & Thrillers)
1 chapters   —   updated May 13, 2015 06:35PM
Description: blah yada blather
Heaven Sent (Cooking, Food & Wine)
1 chapters   —   updated May 13, 2015 06:35PM
Description: some kind of prose
More of Misti’s writing…
Pussy: A Reclamation
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Misti’s Recent Updates

Stumpfucker Cavalcade by Joe Pachinko
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Pussy by Regena Thomashauer
"Some information, but mostly it reads like a long sales pitch for her course. Lots of repetition as well. I skimmed after the first 2 chapters."
Pussy by Regena Thomashauer
"Great premise and inspiring

Fantastic ideas but they are repeated many times. Would be nice if other examples of power rather than only sexual manipulation were discussed. I still got a lot out of it and it's worth the read. You just have to make i..." Read more of this review »
Pussy by Regena Thomashauer
"It's really too bad .... This could have been a really good book. Unfortunately, there are just so many things wrong with it, that despite some really good content, I'm not entirely sure I'll make it to the end.

First, while trying so hard to conv..." Read more of this review »
Misti Rainwater-Lites is currently reading
Pussy by Regena Thomashauer
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Misti Rainwater-Lites wants to read
The First Bad Man by Miranda July
The First Bad Man
by Miranda July (Goodreads Author)
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Shopgirl by Steve Martin
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Nirvana by Adam   Johnson
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Shake Girl by Adam   Johnson
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Emporium by Adam Johnson
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More of Misti's books…
“I hit the goddamn jackpot with celebrity dreams this a.m. In the latest dream I was in bed with Tom and Katie. I’ve never thought much of Tom Cruise but as I watched him fuck Katie fueled with insane lust and cocaine I murmured, 'God, Tom, I admire you so much.' Katie went to the bathroom to clean up and Tom fucked me. I was too happy to remember that I always preferred Ice Man to Maverick.”
Misti Rainwater-Lites

“Many American women over forty are not worried about their wrinkles and don’t give a rat’s ass about enhancing them. There’s this scientific fact called gravity. Gravity happens to us all, men and women. Some women and men over forty spend money fighting gravity with cosmetics and cosmetic surgery. That’s their ball game. That’s their parade. More power to them. There was once this woman named Gertrude Stein. She was the aesthetic opposite of Marilyn Monroe. I never knew Ms. Stein but from what I’ve read about her life I would venture to say that she was approximately (there’s no way of measuring such things…well, there are a couple of ways) a million times happier than Marilyn Monroe. Sexy on the outside doesn’t do much for ugly on the inside. This isn’t to say that Marilyn Monroe was ugly on the inside. I’m sure she was really fucking gorgeous on the inside, too. Bottom line: sparkle on the INSIDE can enhance ANYTHING on the outside.”
Misti Rainwater-Lites

“I’ve got a rather elegant purplish bruise on the second toe (which is longer than the first toe) of my left foot. I was standing in the shower. A bottle of shampoo fell from the towel rack and hit my toe. GODDAMN it HURT like a MOTHERFUCKING BITCH. I survived. If you would like a picture of my bruised toe, let me know. I sell specialty photographs via PayPal. Maybe a picture of my ass is more your style. I’ve got an ass, yes, and knees and elbows and hands and fingers and feet and toes and all the rest. The only thing I am missing is a uterus but I couldn’t photograph that for you even if I had one because I am not an x-ray technician. We all have fetishes to work through. My exact job title is Fetish Facilitator. Contact me.”
Misti Rainwater-Lites

“Is Virgin you trying to
fathom me”
Jack Kerouac

“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“ya better come inside
when you're ready to
but no chance if ya don't wanna dance
you like four letter words when you're ready to
but then you won't 'cos you know that you can

Def Leppard

“i found god in myself
and i loved her
i loved her fiercely”
Ntozake Shange

“And on the subject of burning books: I want to congratulate librarians, not famous for their physical strength or their powerful political connections or their great wealth, who, all over this country, have staunchly resisted anti-democratic bullies who have tried to remove certain books from their shelves, and have refused to reveal to thought police the names of persons who have checked out those titles.

So the America I loved still exists, if not in the White House or the Supreme Court or the Senate or the House of Representatives or the media. The America I love still exists at the front desks of our public libraries.”
Kurt Vonnegut Jr., A Man Without a Country

8255 Tips for Self Promotion, Sales, and Advertising — 2424 members — last activity Oct 15, 2017 06:55AM
Tips from authors for authors. List what works for you and what hasn't. Whether you're selling a few author copies or just trying to get your name out ...more
14527 Scantily Clad Press — 187 members — last activity Jul 13, 2016 06:22AM
SCP is an e-chap series edited by Andrew Lundwall. . .
3940 The Feminist Press — 331 members — last activity Sep 03, 2014 10:09AM
The Feminist Press is an independent nonprofit literary publisher that promotes freedom of expression and social justice. We aim to publish exciting w ...more
16299 decomP magazinE — 172 members — last activity Mar 21, 2009 11:50PM
decomP (ISSN: 1947-0436) is an online literary magazine that is published monthly. We have existed since April 2004, and were originally called Decomp ...more
34733 Friends of City Lights — 475 members — last activity May 26, 2017 05:59PM
City Lights Books is a landmark independent bookstore and publisher that specializes in world literature, the arts, and progressive politics.
131043 Texas Women Writers — 7 members — last activity Jan 27, 2015 03:18PM
I'm in Texas. I'm a woman. I'm a writer. I'd love to network with humans in a similar situation.
28172 Poetry Readers Challenge — 978 members — last activity 1 hour, 25 min ago
Let's talk about poetry books. This group's members read poetry collections, with the goal of reviewing twenty in a year. C'mon. Do it. It's good for ...more
87172 Punk Hostage Press — 316 members — last activity Jan 24, 2017 07:26AM
Punk Hostage Press is a not-for-profit book publishing imprint that also acts as a an outreach program to connect writers and contemporary literature ...more
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Comments (showing 1-7 of 7)    post a comment »
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Juliet Howdy hot stuff.

message 2: by J.R.

J.R. Thanks for the invite Misty. Great site! look forward to yur next explosion.

Matina Heya, Misti. Your request wound up in my spam box for some odd reason. Glad I check it regularly. Though, usually the only things that winds up there are Ron Jeremy adds telling me I need to maximize my rod's girth. Everyone needs a little comedic value sometimes!

Jeremy Thanks for the friendship, Misti!

Here’s wishing you a fantastic day filled with fabulous fates, fanciful festivities, and frolicking phantom footstools.

I was wondering if you'd do me the honor of reading about my debut novel, Vacation, which recently made the Bram Stoker Award Preliminary Ballot. Your support would mean a lot to me. If you'd like to do me this honor, feel free to vist my site here:

-Jeremy :)

Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.

Keep bloggin' like it's goin' out of style, Misty.

Lavinia Ludlow I'm glad you found me! because I tried adding you but it said I needed to know your middle name, and that, I do not...

Lavinia Ludlow congrats on all the picture honors! i saw your dogzplot as well as your decomp stuff. wonderful art!

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