Tremayne Moore's Blog, page 8
April 7, 2015
Caring For/Loving Someone When They're Hurt (And/Or You're Hurt)
Good evening:
Last night, I was asking God a lot of questions and I continued to ask questions as I woke up this morning. I was silent after my questions, and He spoke to me. I would gain a lesson that I believe will be a blessing to those who may need to read this (but especially the brothers who read this). Now, I will forewarn you that this blog will take a turn near the end, but during my lunch hour, God really broke me off to the point I had to stop typing because this is so real. This post was inspired by a conversation with a group of brothers I had on a prayer call last week, but also a conversation I had with a sister friend after an author’s meeting.
Let’s just be honest, there are hurt people in the church. And the hurts vary. Men are hurt, women are hurt and children are hurt. But God was talking to me about how to care for/love someone when they’re hurt (or you’re hurt). There are many people who are in this very situation today. It’s not a bad thing at all, and I’ll explain as I go. In fact, this will make you more serious about spiritual warfare, because this war is real (and … well, I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself), but seriously, some yokes are going to be broken.
What are hurts that I’m talking about? People of all walks of life have been hurt via a bad relationship, bad marriage, physical/sexual abuse, emotional abuse, death in the family (loss of parent, loss of child), and many others that I probably didn’t mention.
Although I’m giving my perspective, there are many people who can give their spin on this very topic. You see, sometimes you can tell when a person is hurt by the words they say, their mannerisms, their facial expressions. Now don’t get me wrong, those items mentioned doesn’t qualify that they’re hurt. It could be just part of their personality. But at the same time, behind a smile and having eyebrows up and feeling like you can take over the world, is a world full of pain and agony. And all it takes is a trigger to turn your picture perfect world upside down.
I'm willing to bet that many of our hurts stem from one of two things: either things we allowed to enter our lives/homes or things that other people brought on us. Either way, it's time to not let these demons of hurt go unchallenged.
Let me now talk about the first thing (things we allowed to entire our lives/homes). I’m going to use myself as an example – so that I’m the only person that’s offended. Let’s see, about 10 years ago, I was talking to someone and she shared a different ideology than I did. I knew this going in and I allowed her access to my life and to my heart. When she decided to end this friendship/relationship, she had my heart in her hands to the point I was thinking about suicide (which is an ugly spirit). So, what do I do – learn from this mistake and grow in the things of God. Sure, what were some other ill effects? Barriers for a long time, and not letting people get too close to me. I know there are many people reading this who could identify with allowing people or things into our lives/homes that should have never been the case. Don’t beat yourself up. Remember a just man falls seven times and he rises up. Now that I’ve gone through this, I’m back in the Word, I have my guard up (not to the extent of being mad at the world), but it’s only to not give place to the devil who’s true intent is to take me out (and his intent is to take you out). He can do it if we continue to live life with anger, bitterness and having a chip on our shoulder.
The second thing (things that other people bring on us) is real simple: abuse of any kind, rape, violence, etc. Let me say this upfront, this is not your fault. Now it’s time to do combat especially if you are hurt and have the desire to love someone. The same holds true the other way around. If they have been through and you desire to love them, you need to keep them in prayer, covered and understand this one critical thing (the person you love/care for – especially if they’re heart’s desire is to grow in God first and foremost and to see you grow – is NOT your enemy). The adversary is the real enemy.
As a result of the hurts from either scenario, can cause things to happen that neither of you might not know. When one person is short with you, just vents out of thin air, blames you for everything that happened in the past, it could be real easy to just write them off. But if you know they’re hurt and you’re listening to the spirit of God, you will stay with them no matter what. Why? Because God didn’t forsake us.
I need to drop this small interlude here so I can talk to the brothers. When we meet a woman who’s been hurt (from the items mentioned earlier or something that’s not mentioned), we need to understand that she’s not our enemy. Sometimes she will not tell you everything about her life (and rightfully so), her past; understand who she is right where she is and just pray for her. That speaks volumes. Make the focus on her and her healing. Brothers, take thought to this. A woman could be hurt because of something we may have said or done. Don’t hide it from her, tell the truth irrespective of the outcome.
For the sisters: when you meet a man who’s been hurt (from the items mentioned earlier or something that’s not mentioned), you need to know that he is not your enemy (especially if he’s covering you, and his heart’s desire is to grow in God – and that’s his first priority). We men have a strong tendency to let pride take over when we have so many hurts in our lives. Just pray for him right where he is. That speaks volumes.
For all, don’t take their rejection personal especially if they value the friendship/relationship. Using me as an example, if I’m caring for/loving someone who’s hurt, I will pray for her healing, and ask God to change my perspective when she does things that I’m not used to (such as a cold shoulder). What I understand is this: two people are hurt and are striving to come out of their hurt together. Again, I can speak for me, but I’m probably the king of apologizing for things I say/do and for things I didn’t say/do (knowing full well that I didn’t say/do anything wrong). The key here is for me to seek God (now this is the only time I’ll say it’s good to go to your boxing corner so you can replenish – please go into the corner for that and to spend time with God). And when I’m in my corner, I should be asking God, if it’s something she’s struggling with, I pray that You allow me to see her for who she’s is, a woman of God who is not my enemy. It’s the enemy from her past that’s trying to divide us. If it’s me that’s the problem, help me to be a MAN and tell her that I’m sorry. Knowing that it’s not about to please or keeping the peace, but it’s a matter of knowing that the friendship/relationship is of utmost importance to me and to God.
I also understand that the enemy is striving to run Rothschild over us – especially when we’re in separate corners. That’s when his league of demons will come (and yes, some will come from church folk) along with some ugly spirits. There’s more to be said on that in just a moment.
So, how do you maintain a good (or should I say God) friendship/relationship? I’ll answer that question in just a moment, but let me also say this. The devil is not going to like this one bit. He thrives when we choose to stay hurt. I didn’t say that you had to be healed overnight; for many people, this will be a process as God reveals things to you (one of my dear sister friends said that to me and it blessed me). So to answer the question in summary form, you keep God as the center of your life and trust God as to how you conduct yourself in the friendship/relationship.
One of the greater blessings is when you are caring for/loving someone when both are hurt, is that they can both come out of the hurt cycle together. And the devil can’t stand that! This now brings me to the next topic.
When God connects you to someone and you know that this is a God-friendship/relationship, don’t think that life is going to be rosy. The devil is going to send some people to wreak havoc to break it up. In fact, there will be church folk praying that your friendship/relationship is destroyed because of envy, jealousy, or who knows what. And that’s probably under the guise of “misery loves company.” He’s more effective when you both are in your separate corners of the boxing ring. Now, let’s talk about what you need to watch for to maintain this God-friendship/relationship.
Jonas Clark said this and this is going to shake the foundation for sure. In “How Witchcraft Spirits Attack,” he said this: people who operate in witchcraft are masters as pitting people against one another in order to separate and isolate them. And I believe personally this is happening inside the church. In fact, Jonas expounds by saying this: this spirit will do whatever it takes to control the environment and wants to be the limelight in your life. In fact, a person operating in this spirit wants to talk about them, them, and them. In fact, they signify a bizarre attempt to cut off any other relationships in your life.
This is true fire right there. I have to pause for a moment before I continue.
I know, I was supposed to be talking about caring for/loving someone who's hurt (or you're hurt), but we're talking about the enemy who is wanting us to stay hurt and your loved one to stay hurt. I need to throw one more thing that Jonas Clark said: there are those who act super spiritual, which is a form of witchcraft (I was up all night praying for you, I just couldn't sleep last night; the spirit of God just really impressed on me to call you first thing in the morning, and the list goes on).
OK, I need to take a break! Wow! God is truly ministering to my spirit right now. We must watch for that in the church walls, for they will subtlety cause you to be separated from yourself (which is exactly what happened when Adam ate from the tree; when God said to Adam, where are you, He wanted Adam to locate himself).
Frank Hammond, in Pigs In The Parlor said this when it comes to attacks. Example: suppose a demon spoke to your mind saying "he doesn't love me; she's not praying for you," and you know that's far cry from the truth. You might have to something like this: You are a liar, demon. I reject that thought about my friend. My mind is under the protection of Jesus. I bind you from my thoughts. I command you to leave mealone, in the name of Jesus. This won't be a one-time thing; you will more & likely have to do this constantly until your mind is at peace.
Because many of us are hurt or have been hurt, we have to seek God to see where and how demons have invaded. Don't mull over the past and what has happened. Now, it's time to close the door. And because you have someone in your life that's praying for you, with you and over you, you can really wreak havoc in the enemy's camp.
I still believe this is why the enemy fights to separate two people who God joined together (whether it be friendship or relationship). But when they are together, warring against principalities, the friendship/relationship will blossom, healing will flourish and the devil will no longer have access to their lives anymore.
Blessings.
The Mayne Man
Last night, I was asking God a lot of questions and I continued to ask questions as I woke up this morning. I was silent after my questions, and He spoke to me. I would gain a lesson that I believe will be a blessing to those who may need to read this (but especially the brothers who read this). Now, I will forewarn you that this blog will take a turn near the end, but during my lunch hour, God really broke me off to the point I had to stop typing because this is so real. This post was inspired by a conversation with a group of brothers I had on a prayer call last week, but also a conversation I had with a sister friend after an author’s meeting.
Let’s just be honest, there are hurt people in the church. And the hurts vary. Men are hurt, women are hurt and children are hurt. But God was talking to me about how to care for/love someone when they’re hurt (or you’re hurt). There are many people who are in this very situation today. It’s not a bad thing at all, and I’ll explain as I go. In fact, this will make you more serious about spiritual warfare, because this war is real (and … well, I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself), but seriously, some yokes are going to be broken.
What are hurts that I’m talking about? People of all walks of life have been hurt via a bad relationship, bad marriage, physical/sexual abuse, emotional abuse, death in the family (loss of parent, loss of child), and many others that I probably didn’t mention.
Although I’m giving my perspective, there are many people who can give their spin on this very topic. You see, sometimes you can tell when a person is hurt by the words they say, their mannerisms, their facial expressions. Now don’t get me wrong, those items mentioned doesn’t qualify that they’re hurt. It could be just part of their personality. But at the same time, behind a smile and having eyebrows up and feeling like you can take over the world, is a world full of pain and agony. And all it takes is a trigger to turn your picture perfect world upside down.
I'm willing to bet that many of our hurts stem from one of two things: either things we allowed to enter our lives/homes or things that other people brought on us. Either way, it's time to not let these demons of hurt go unchallenged.
Let me now talk about the first thing (things we allowed to entire our lives/homes). I’m going to use myself as an example – so that I’m the only person that’s offended. Let’s see, about 10 years ago, I was talking to someone and she shared a different ideology than I did. I knew this going in and I allowed her access to my life and to my heart. When she decided to end this friendship/relationship, she had my heart in her hands to the point I was thinking about suicide (which is an ugly spirit). So, what do I do – learn from this mistake and grow in the things of God. Sure, what were some other ill effects? Barriers for a long time, and not letting people get too close to me. I know there are many people reading this who could identify with allowing people or things into our lives/homes that should have never been the case. Don’t beat yourself up. Remember a just man falls seven times and he rises up. Now that I’ve gone through this, I’m back in the Word, I have my guard up (not to the extent of being mad at the world), but it’s only to not give place to the devil who’s true intent is to take me out (and his intent is to take you out). He can do it if we continue to live life with anger, bitterness and having a chip on our shoulder.
The second thing (things that other people bring on us) is real simple: abuse of any kind, rape, violence, etc. Let me say this upfront, this is not your fault. Now it’s time to do combat especially if you are hurt and have the desire to love someone. The same holds true the other way around. If they have been through and you desire to love them, you need to keep them in prayer, covered and understand this one critical thing (the person you love/care for – especially if they’re heart’s desire is to grow in God first and foremost and to see you grow – is NOT your enemy). The adversary is the real enemy.
As a result of the hurts from either scenario, can cause things to happen that neither of you might not know. When one person is short with you, just vents out of thin air, blames you for everything that happened in the past, it could be real easy to just write them off. But if you know they’re hurt and you’re listening to the spirit of God, you will stay with them no matter what. Why? Because God didn’t forsake us.
I need to drop this small interlude here so I can talk to the brothers. When we meet a woman who’s been hurt (from the items mentioned earlier or something that’s not mentioned), we need to understand that she’s not our enemy. Sometimes she will not tell you everything about her life (and rightfully so), her past; understand who she is right where she is and just pray for her. That speaks volumes. Make the focus on her and her healing. Brothers, take thought to this. A woman could be hurt because of something we may have said or done. Don’t hide it from her, tell the truth irrespective of the outcome.
For the sisters: when you meet a man who’s been hurt (from the items mentioned earlier or something that’s not mentioned), you need to know that he is not your enemy (especially if he’s covering you, and his heart’s desire is to grow in God – and that’s his first priority). We men have a strong tendency to let pride take over when we have so many hurts in our lives. Just pray for him right where he is. That speaks volumes.
For all, don’t take their rejection personal especially if they value the friendship/relationship. Using me as an example, if I’m caring for/loving someone who’s hurt, I will pray for her healing, and ask God to change my perspective when she does things that I’m not used to (such as a cold shoulder). What I understand is this: two people are hurt and are striving to come out of their hurt together. Again, I can speak for me, but I’m probably the king of apologizing for things I say/do and for things I didn’t say/do (knowing full well that I didn’t say/do anything wrong). The key here is for me to seek God (now this is the only time I’ll say it’s good to go to your boxing corner so you can replenish – please go into the corner for that and to spend time with God). And when I’m in my corner, I should be asking God, if it’s something she’s struggling with, I pray that You allow me to see her for who she’s is, a woman of God who is not my enemy. It’s the enemy from her past that’s trying to divide us. If it’s me that’s the problem, help me to be a MAN and tell her that I’m sorry. Knowing that it’s not about to please or keeping the peace, but it’s a matter of knowing that the friendship/relationship is of utmost importance to me and to God.
I also understand that the enemy is striving to run Rothschild over us – especially when we’re in separate corners. That’s when his league of demons will come (and yes, some will come from church folk) along with some ugly spirits. There’s more to be said on that in just a moment.
So, how do you maintain a good (or should I say God) friendship/relationship? I’ll answer that question in just a moment, but let me also say this. The devil is not going to like this one bit. He thrives when we choose to stay hurt. I didn’t say that you had to be healed overnight; for many people, this will be a process as God reveals things to you (one of my dear sister friends said that to me and it blessed me). So to answer the question in summary form, you keep God as the center of your life and trust God as to how you conduct yourself in the friendship/relationship.
One of the greater blessings is when you are caring for/loving someone when both are hurt, is that they can both come out of the hurt cycle together. And the devil can’t stand that! This now brings me to the next topic.
When God connects you to someone and you know that this is a God-friendship/relationship, don’t think that life is going to be rosy. The devil is going to send some people to wreak havoc to break it up. In fact, there will be church folk praying that your friendship/relationship is destroyed because of envy, jealousy, or who knows what. And that’s probably under the guise of “misery loves company.” He’s more effective when you both are in your separate corners of the boxing ring. Now, let’s talk about what you need to watch for to maintain this God-friendship/relationship.
Jonas Clark said this and this is going to shake the foundation for sure. In “How Witchcraft Spirits Attack,” he said this: people who operate in witchcraft are masters as pitting people against one another in order to separate and isolate them. And I believe personally this is happening inside the church. In fact, Jonas expounds by saying this: this spirit will do whatever it takes to control the environment and wants to be the limelight in your life. In fact, a person operating in this spirit wants to talk about them, them, and them. In fact, they signify a bizarre attempt to cut off any other relationships in your life.
This is true fire right there. I have to pause for a moment before I continue.
I know, I was supposed to be talking about caring for/loving someone who's hurt (or you're hurt), but we're talking about the enemy who is wanting us to stay hurt and your loved one to stay hurt. I need to throw one more thing that Jonas Clark said: there are those who act super spiritual, which is a form of witchcraft (I was up all night praying for you, I just couldn't sleep last night; the spirit of God just really impressed on me to call you first thing in the morning, and the list goes on).
OK, I need to take a break! Wow! God is truly ministering to my spirit right now. We must watch for that in the church walls, for they will subtlety cause you to be separated from yourself (which is exactly what happened when Adam ate from the tree; when God said to Adam, where are you, He wanted Adam to locate himself).
Frank Hammond, in Pigs In The Parlor said this when it comes to attacks. Example: suppose a demon spoke to your mind saying "he doesn't love me; she's not praying for you," and you know that's far cry from the truth. You might have to something like this: You are a liar, demon. I reject that thought about my friend. My mind is under the protection of Jesus. I bind you from my thoughts. I command you to leave mealone, in the name of Jesus. This won't be a one-time thing; you will more & likely have to do this constantly until your mind is at peace.
Because many of us are hurt or have been hurt, we have to seek God to see where and how demons have invaded. Don't mull over the past and what has happened. Now, it's time to close the door. And because you have someone in your life that's praying for you, with you and over you, you can really wreak havoc in the enemy's camp.
I still believe this is why the enemy fights to separate two people who God joined together (whether it be friendship or relationship). But when they are together, warring against principalities, the friendship/relationship will blossom, healing will flourish and the devil will no longer have access to their lives anymore.
Blessings.
The Mayne Man
April 6, 2015
Why Do Authors Need A Bookkeeper?
As an author, I've been able to talk to many authors and consult them on various things. Because many authors have publishing companies, it's imperative that they have a bookkeeper.
I'm sure a lot of you are looking at me strange when I say that. But let's face it, authors write and count money. But if you're good at managing your books and having good records when it's time for taxes, or if you are good at doing your taxes, then you are exempt from this article.
I write this article for those who are not good at managing your books or you just want to minimize your taxes legally (and lessen the risk of an IRS audit). If this is you, then hiring a bookkeeper is not a bad idea.
What are some reasons to take on a bookkeeper:1. Starting a publishing company - unless you have a substantial amount of working capital (money) to where you don't need to apply for a small business loan, then you will need a bookkeeper. He or she will handle your books for a reasonable fee and present you a financial picture via charts, graphs, etc. so when you go to apply for a loan, you will have something to present. 2. You have been hit with back taxes - a bookkeeper will help you manage your personal and business records so when the IRS wants to see your records, you're empowered to face them and not run from them. 3. Tax season - the last thing you want to do is to wait till the last minute to go to your bookkeeper with your receipts when it's time to file. You want to be proactive with your taxes and reactive. 4. Your personal life can get back in order - sometimes your life will come to light when you see the numbers in front of you.
Hope this helps. It's one thing to make money, it's another thing to keep it!
Stay tuned, and I have one more article next week (right before that April 15th deadline).
The Mayne Man
I'm sure a lot of you are looking at me strange when I say that. But let's face it, authors write and count money. But if you're good at managing your books and having good records when it's time for taxes, or if you are good at doing your taxes, then you are exempt from this article.
I write this article for those who are not good at managing your books or you just want to minimize your taxes legally (and lessen the risk of an IRS audit). If this is you, then hiring a bookkeeper is not a bad idea.
What are some reasons to take on a bookkeeper:1. Starting a publishing company - unless you have a substantial amount of working capital (money) to where you don't need to apply for a small business loan, then you will need a bookkeeper. He or she will handle your books for a reasonable fee and present you a financial picture via charts, graphs, etc. so when you go to apply for a loan, you will have something to present. 2. You have been hit with back taxes - a bookkeeper will help you manage your personal and business records so when the IRS wants to see your records, you're empowered to face them and not run from them. 3. Tax season - the last thing you want to do is to wait till the last minute to go to your bookkeeper with your receipts when it's time to file. You want to be proactive with your taxes and reactive. 4. Your personal life can get back in order - sometimes your life will come to light when you see the numbers in front of you.
Hope this helps. It's one thing to make money, it's another thing to keep it!
Stay tuned, and I have one more article next week (right before that April 15th deadline).
The Mayne Man
March 30, 2015
Authors & Taxes
I was privileged and honored to be featured on fellow author Tyora Moody's Written Voices Blog back in November of 2014. This was the article that I wrote for her column. I felt it was appropriate to post it on my blog now considering that April 15th is right around the corner. Hope this is beneficial.
Authors and Taxes
Many people don't know this about me, but my profession is accounting. At my day job, I conduct audits but I am preparing to start up a tax practice in 2015/2016. As an author and an auditor, I know that we are all prone to being audited by the Internal Revenue Service (IRS).
However, being a small business owner can make you more susceptible being audited. It is true that there are loopholes for authors and other small business owners, but from what I see and hear in my field there are a lot of people either taking deductions that they shouldn’t, evading taxes all together, or dodging owed back taxes.
Mistake # 1: Home Office Space DeductionJust because you have a desk and a laptop at home does not mean that you automatically qualify for this deduction. You must meet certain criteria for the home office to be recognized and no, never claim your monthly rent for the apartment you live in as the deduction. You must be able to prove that the amount you claim is what you use reasonably in relation to the space. If you live in a home that you own, try separating the utilities—an account for the main house and another for your office space. This way, there are no questions about who uses what. The IRS is big on documentation. Be prepared.
As I writer, I don’t take the home office deduction because I spend most of my time writing/working away from home. Too bad I can't take a deduction for the coffee I drink in coffee shops.
Mistake #2: Meals and EntertainmentThe only way you can legitimately take this deduction is if you're having a meal with a client while discussing business or you are traveling overnight away from your residence. Just like travel expenses, the meal cost must be reasonable.
Mistake #3: How You FileIf you own a publishing company where you are taking on other authors, you should NOT be a sole-proprietor. Be sure to convert to an LLC or an S-Corporation. Speak to a tax and/or legal professional to help. This protects your liability and you show the IRS that you legitimately have a business and not a hobby.
What You Can DeductOne huge gripe of mine is someone telling me what I can’t do without providing solutions to what I can do. So below are a few things you can do to make your tax burden a little more bearable.
1. Office Supplies – Consider printing, book mailings, postage, envelops.2. Travel – If you travel more than 30 miles outside of your city it is deductable. Be sure to use mileage (document in a notebook) versus gas costs. You can find current mileage rates on the IRS website.3. Advertising and Public Relations Costs—if you pay a publicists or buy ads you can claim these costs.4. Computer and Internet Services-you can use this as a deductable if you are using it solely for business.
There are plenty of deductions that you can take when you own a business. If you have questions, feel free to contact me at Tremayne_Moore@yahoo.com.
Authors and Taxes
Many people don't know this about me, but my profession is accounting. At my day job, I conduct audits but I am preparing to start up a tax practice in 2015/2016. As an author and an auditor, I know that we are all prone to being audited by the Internal Revenue Service (IRS).
However, being a small business owner can make you more susceptible being audited. It is true that there are loopholes for authors and other small business owners, but from what I see and hear in my field there are a lot of people either taking deductions that they shouldn’t, evading taxes all together, or dodging owed back taxes.
Mistake # 1: Home Office Space DeductionJust because you have a desk and a laptop at home does not mean that you automatically qualify for this deduction. You must meet certain criteria for the home office to be recognized and no, never claim your monthly rent for the apartment you live in as the deduction. You must be able to prove that the amount you claim is what you use reasonably in relation to the space. If you live in a home that you own, try separating the utilities—an account for the main house and another for your office space. This way, there are no questions about who uses what. The IRS is big on documentation. Be prepared.
As I writer, I don’t take the home office deduction because I spend most of my time writing/working away from home. Too bad I can't take a deduction for the coffee I drink in coffee shops.
Mistake #2: Meals and EntertainmentThe only way you can legitimately take this deduction is if you're having a meal with a client while discussing business or you are traveling overnight away from your residence. Just like travel expenses, the meal cost must be reasonable.
Mistake #3: How You FileIf you own a publishing company where you are taking on other authors, you should NOT be a sole-proprietor. Be sure to convert to an LLC or an S-Corporation. Speak to a tax and/or legal professional to help. This protects your liability and you show the IRS that you legitimately have a business and not a hobby.
What You Can DeductOne huge gripe of mine is someone telling me what I can’t do without providing solutions to what I can do. So below are a few things you can do to make your tax burden a little more bearable.
1. Office Supplies – Consider printing, book mailings, postage, envelops.2. Travel – If you travel more than 30 miles outside of your city it is deductable. Be sure to use mileage (document in a notebook) versus gas costs. You can find current mileage rates on the IRS website.3. Advertising and Public Relations Costs—if you pay a publicists or buy ads you can claim these costs.4. Computer and Internet Services-you can use this as a deductable if you are using it solely for business.
There are plenty of deductions that you can take when you own a business. If you have questions, feel free to contact me at Tremayne_Moore@yahoo.com.
March 16, 2015
Stopping The ESP Curse (A Message to the AA Community)
Before this blog begins, let me define ESP as it relates to this blog: it stands for the Economic, Spiritual & Physical Curse. Let’s think about that for a minute:Economic Curse – every time a tragedy hits our community, we turn on ourselves (this will be the focus of this blog)Spiritual Curse – in the African-American church, we have a huge tendency to put our pastor, church, and denomination over the BiblePhysical Curse – no disrespect to those outside our race, we focus more on that than we do on the nonsense killings within our own race. I can’t help but think back to when I was about to turn 15 years old (the year was 1989). One HS student (that I knew) strangled another student (that I also knew) for his Jordan’s.
I invited my sister & fellow author Angelia Menchan to assist me with this blogpost. Her comments are going to be in italics. What we are going to show is a generational trend when it comes to turning on ourselves via destroying our communities and why it's vital to stop this generational curse (or should I say genocide) economically, spiritually and physically.
Back in 1991, Rodney King was brutally beaten by the police and after the jury issued a not guilty verdict on the police officers, Los Angeles was destroyed via the riots. I was a senior year in High School when this went down, and I understood the anger then and it made sense to me at the time. Now that I’m much older and realized after what happened with the Ferguson incident last year, I started to ask this a couple of pivotal question to myself:1. Why is it that other races kill someone within our race, and then we turn on each other and destroy our communities?2. Why is it that we advocate so heavily to support our own businesses, but then we turn around and don’t support our own business – wanting something for nothing (or even worse, loot our own business)?
In 1992, the final season of A Different World aired. I remember the second part of the first episode and I want to draw out some quotes that I want to share with you all. Here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBIyR5fDdtw
At 11:23Lena (played by Jada Pinkett): I cannot believe you Dwayne. Seriously though, I I was there, if that were me, I would’ve gone off!Dwayne (played by Kadeem Hardison): Lena, seriously though, seriously though, we have a billion dollars of damage because brothers were ripping off their own neighborhoods. Think for a minute.
And then at 17:15:Mr. Gaines (played by the late Lou Myers): You know it’s a shame that the rebellion had to go this far. But at least folks are now listening, white and black.Colonel Taylor (played by Glynn Turman): That’s what we thought after Watts. Remember Mr. Gaines?Mr. Gaines: Yeah.Colonel Taylor: We’ll see what effect this has. A lot depends on what we do when we leave this room. We’ve got to work together, so that your children won’t feel that in the next 20 years their only solution is to burn their own communities down.
I guess history repeats itself because we went through this in Ferguson in 2014. But this “burning our communities” apparently isn’t new. Since Watts was brought up via the video clip, let’s talk about it.
Watts a neighborhood in Los Angeles is on 2.12 miles but it's predominately African American and has the largest demographic of household led by single parents in the country, likely the world.
From August 11-17 1965 Watts was on fire. I was in elementary school and I remember my mom and aunts talking about it and saying, "Those Negroes have gone plumb mad." Perhaps that sounds like blaming the victim in 21st century America but not to those women born from 1912-1933. There were thirty-four deaths, over a thousand injuries, three times as many arrests and forty million in damages. And what was proven?
To the world at large it seemed to say, "Make them mad and they will ruin their own neighborhoods and loot their communities."
Righteous anger many said. However, I'm going to say Watts has never completely recovered from that legacy and is still an impoverished community with generations still struggling from some of the choices made.
Were the residents justifiably angry? Absolutely. Racism was rife and LAPD corruption in full forced. However, some fifty years later the community is still fighting against the same thing.
On the evening of Wednesday, August 11, 1965, 21-year-old Marquette Frye, an African American man behind the wheel of his mother's 1955 Buick, was pulled over for reckless driving by white California Highway Patrol motorcycle officer Lee Minikus. After administering a field sobriety test, Minikus placed Frye under arrest and radioed for his vehicle to be impounded.Marquette's brother Ronald, a passenger in the vehicle, walked to their house nearby, bringing their mother, Rena Price, back with him.
When Rena Price reached the intersection of Avalon Boulevard and 116th Street that evening, she scolded Frye about drinking and driving, he recalled in a 1985 interview with the Orlando Sentinel. The situation quickly escalated: Someone shoved Price, Frye was struck, Price jumped an officer, and another officer pulled out a shotgun. Backup police officers attempted to arrest Frye by using physical force to subdue him. After rumors spread that the police had roughed Frye up and kicked a pregnant woman, angry mobs formed. As the situation intensified, growing crowds of local residents watching the exchange began yelling and throwing objects at the police officers. Frye's mother and brother fought with the officers and they were eventually arrested along with Marquette Frye.
After the arrests of Price and the Frye brothers, the crowd continued to grow. Police came to the scene to break up the crowd several times that night but were attacked by rocks and concrete. A 119-square-kilometer (46-square-mile) swath of Los Angeles would be transformed into a combat zone during the ensuing six days.
For seven days rioting and looting ensued and the National Guard was called in adding to the tensions. Members of militant groups were on site adding fuel to a flaming city. And just as today in cities like Ferguson, MO and other places the community was vilified and Los Angeles police chief Parker publicly described the people he saw involved in the riots as acting like "monkeys in the zoo."
Of course after all was said and done politicians and that ilk showed up making promises of reform if only they were voted in.
As this area was known to be under much racial and social tension, debates have surfaced over what really happened in Watts. Reactions and reasoning about the Watts incident greatly vary because those affected by and participating in the chaos that followed the original arrest had varying perspectives. A commission under Governor Pat Brown investigated the riots. The McCone Commission, headed by former CIA director John A. McCone, released a 101-page report on December 2, 1965 entitled Violence in the City—An End or a Beginning?: A Report by the Governor's Commission on the Los Angeles Riots, 1965.
The report identified the root causes of the riots to be high unemployment, poor schools, and other inferior living conditions for African Americans in Watts. Recommendations for addressing these problems included "emergency literacy and preschool programs, improved police-community ties, increased low-income housing, more job-training projects, upgraded health-care services, more efficient public transportation, and many more." Most of these recommendations were not acted upon and decades later the struggle continued played out again in the 1992 riots after the Rodney King verdict. By this time I was a woman with children and could hear my ancestors voices as I watched the riots, wondering what had we learned if anything and we were still dealing with systemic injustice, racism and disenfranchisement with our emotions and reaction and I knew without any doubt how it would all play out, again. Our communities are plagued by generational curses and those of us who survived have a responsibility to assist in the healing.
We are going to have to teach wholeness, acceptance of responsibility, planning and preparing and not reacting.
¥¥¥¥¥
OK, let’s wind this down.
Johnathan Gentry (a minister at West Angeles COGIC) made a few comments last Friday (March 6th, 2015) on a news broadcast that I felt was appropriate for this blog. I’m going to paraphrase a lot of what he said. 1. Many of these African-American leaders are promoting poverty mindsets and victimhood. They’re also telling our race that we’re going to be nothing except a statistic2. The reason why they’re brining that message is because many of us can’t think for ourselves. 3. These leaders want us to be oppressed. But black men need to stop looking back to victimhood. 4. The truth of Jesus Christ is needed for broken families. God is a God of new beginnings.5. The prison system is not for anyone, and don’t stand in front of police departments telling them to clean up our neighborhoods when it’s the crack and whorehouse on our blocks that are destroying our minds and poisoning our children’s future.6. These leaders will be accountable for the messages they’re sending the American people. So tell people the truth, even if you shake!7. Countries and families are giving up and many broken families are going to church only to hear preachers lying to them. 8. Not every police department is racist, and not everybody is against African-Africans, but we as a race have to be responsible for what we do out in the streets. If you commit a crime, expect to pay the cost!9. It’s always those who commit crimes, who cry out and say the Police Department is wrong, that should not be happening!
I posted this on social media on March 10th, 2015:1. To be an effective leader, you can’t play the victim or live your life like a victim.2. To be an effective leader, you must tell the truth. There are many in positions of authority that dish lies because there are guppies listening with itching ears or they're listening to find a reason to remain a victim.
We have to know who we are for ourselves in order to show who we are to others. Not everybody will appreciate us, but at least we have an identity that’s built on faith, achievement and endurance. Think about it, Christ was with the Father before His public ministry. So one can only believe that Christ knew who He was before He was known to the world.
I invited my sister & fellow author Angelia Menchan to assist me with this blogpost. Her comments are going to be in italics. What we are going to show is a generational trend when it comes to turning on ourselves via destroying our communities and why it's vital to stop this generational curse (or should I say genocide) economically, spiritually and physically.
Back in 1991, Rodney King was brutally beaten by the police and after the jury issued a not guilty verdict on the police officers, Los Angeles was destroyed via the riots. I was a senior year in High School when this went down, and I understood the anger then and it made sense to me at the time. Now that I’m much older and realized after what happened with the Ferguson incident last year, I started to ask this a couple of pivotal question to myself:1. Why is it that other races kill someone within our race, and then we turn on each other and destroy our communities?2. Why is it that we advocate so heavily to support our own businesses, but then we turn around and don’t support our own business – wanting something for nothing (or even worse, loot our own business)?
In 1992, the final season of A Different World aired. I remember the second part of the first episode and I want to draw out some quotes that I want to share with you all. Here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBIyR5fDdtw
At 11:23Lena (played by Jada Pinkett): I cannot believe you Dwayne. Seriously though, I I was there, if that were me, I would’ve gone off!Dwayne (played by Kadeem Hardison): Lena, seriously though, seriously though, we have a billion dollars of damage because brothers were ripping off their own neighborhoods. Think for a minute.
And then at 17:15:Mr. Gaines (played by the late Lou Myers): You know it’s a shame that the rebellion had to go this far. But at least folks are now listening, white and black.Colonel Taylor (played by Glynn Turman): That’s what we thought after Watts. Remember Mr. Gaines?Mr. Gaines: Yeah.Colonel Taylor: We’ll see what effect this has. A lot depends on what we do when we leave this room. We’ve got to work together, so that your children won’t feel that in the next 20 years their only solution is to burn their own communities down.
I guess history repeats itself because we went through this in Ferguson in 2014. But this “burning our communities” apparently isn’t new. Since Watts was brought up via the video clip, let’s talk about it.
Watts a neighborhood in Los Angeles is on 2.12 miles but it's predominately African American and has the largest demographic of household led by single parents in the country, likely the world.
From August 11-17 1965 Watts was on fire. I was in elementary school and I remember my mom and aunts talking about it and saying, "Those Negroes have gone plumb mad." Perhaps that sounds like blaming the victim in 21st century America but not to those women born from 1912-1933. There were thirty-four deaths, over a thousand injuries, three times as many arrests and forty million in damages. And what was proven?
To the world at large it seemed to say, "Make them mad and they will ruin their own neighborhoods and loot their communities."
Righteous anger many said. However, I'm going to say Watts has never completely recovered from that legacy and is still an impoverished community with generations still struggling from some of the choices made.
Were the residents justifiably angry? Absolutely. Racism was rife and LAPD corruption in full forced. However, some fifty years later the community is still fighting against the same thing.
On the evening of Wednesday, August 11, 1965, 21-year-old Marquette Frye, an African American man behind the wheel of his mother's 1955 Buick, was pulled over for reckless driving by white California Highway Patrol motorcycle officer Lee Minikus. After administering a field sobriety test, Minikus placed Frye under arrest and radioed for his vehicle to be impounded.Marquette's brother Ronald, a passenger in the vehicle, walked to their house nearby, bringing their mother, Rena Price, back with him.
When Rena Price reached the intersection of Avalon Boulevard and 116th Street that evening, she scolded Frye about drinking and driving, he recalled in a 1985 interview with the Orlando Sentinel. The situation quickly escalated: Someone shoved Price, Frye was struck, Price jumped an officer, and another officer pulled out a shotgun. Backup police officers attempted to arrest Frye by using physical force to subdue him. After rumors spread that the police had roughed Frye up and kicked a pregnant woman, angry mobs formed. As the situation intensified, growing crowds of local residents watching the exchange began yelling and throwing objects at the police officers. Frye's mother and brother fought with the officers and they were eventually arrested along with Marquette Frye.
After the arrests of Price and the Frye brothers, the crowd continued to grow. Police came to the scene to break up the crowd several times that night but were attacked by rocks and concrete. A 119-square-kilometer (46-square-mile) swath of Los Angeles would be transformed into a combat zone during the ensuing six days.
For seven days rioting and looting ensued and the National Guard was called in adding to the tensions. Members of militant groups were on site adding fuel to a flaming city. And just as today in cities like Ferguson, MO and other places the community was vilified and Los Angeles police chief Parker publicly described the people he saw involved in the riots as acting like "monkeys in the zoo."
Of course after all was said and done politicians and that ilk showed up making promises of reform if only they were voted in.
As this area was known to be under much racial and social tension, debates have surfaced over what really happened in Watts. Reactions and reasoning about the Watts incident greatly vary because those affected by and participating in the chaos that followed the original arrest had varying perspectives. A commission under Governor Pat Brown investigated the riots. The McCone Commission, headed by former CIA director John A. McCone, released a 101-page report on December 2, 1965 entitled Violence in the City—An End or a Beginning?: A Report by the Governor's Commission on the Los Angeles Riots, 1965.
The report identified the root causes of the riots to be high unemployment, poor schools, and other inferior living conditions for African Americans in Watts. Recommendations for addressing these problems included "emergency literacy and preschool programs, improved police-community ties, increased low-income housing, more job-training projects, upgraded health-care services, more efficient public transportation, and many more." Most of these recommendations were not acted upon and decades later the struggle continued played out again in the 1992 riots after the Rodney King verdict. By this time I was a woman with children and could hear my ancestors voices as I watched the riots, wondering what had we learned if anything and we were still dealing with systemic injustice, racism and disenfranchisement with our emotions and reaction and I knew without any doubt how it would all play out, again. Our communities are plagued by generational curses and those of us who survived have a responsibility to assist in the healing.
We are going to have to teach wholeness, acceptance of responsibility, planning and preparing and not reacting.
¥¥¥¥¥
OK, let’s wind this down.
Johnathan Gentry (a minister at West Angeles COGIC) made a few comments last Friday (March 6th, 2015) on a news broadcast that I felt was appropriate for this blog. I’m going to paraphrase a lot of what he said. 1. Many of these African-American leaders are promoting poverty mindsets and victimhood. They’re also telling our race that we’re going to be nothing except a statistic2. The reason why they’re brining that message is because many of us can’t think for ourselves. 3. These leaders want us to be oppressed. But black men need to stop looking back to victimhood. 4. The truth of Jesus Christ is needed for broken families. God is a God of new beginnings.5. The prison system is not for anyone, and don’t stand in front of police departments telling them to clean up our neighborhoods when it’s the crack and whorehouse on our blocks that are destroying our minds and poisoning our children’s future.6. These leaders will be accountable for the messages they’re sending the American people. So tell people the truth, even if you shake!7. Countries and families are giving up and many broken families are going to church only to hear preachers lying to them. 8. Not every police department is racist, and not everybody is against African-Africans, but we as a race have to be responsible for what we do out in the streets. If you commit a crime, expect to pay the cost!9. It’s always those who commit crimes, who cry out and say the Police Department is wrong, that should not be happening!
I posted this on social media on March 10th, 2015:1. To be an effective leader, you can’t play the victim or live your life like a victim.2. To be an effective leader, you must tell the truth. There are many in positions of authority that dish lies because there are guppies listening with itching ears or they're listening to find a reason to remain a victim.
We have to know who we are for ourselves in order to show who we are to others. Not everybody will appreciate us, but at least we have an identity that’s built on faith, achievement and endurance. Think about it, Christ was with the Father before His public ministry. So one can only believe that Christ knew who He was before He was known to the world.
March 7, 2015
Why A Child Needs Love (And Discipline)
Well, first and foremost, let me say Happy New Year. I know it’s been almost 4 months since I’ve written a blog (and this is my first blog in 2015). I was listening to a program and it was talking about “correcting a child.” I know there are many views about what it means to correct a child, but during the course of the program, it was saying that correction has many definitions: spanking, instructing, guidance, and a few others. I can’t speak for others, but I’m going to put my personal life (and part of my family) on Front Street for this blogpost, but there is a message here.
Many times, when I talk about family, I end up talking about abuse. I will not be discussing abuse in this blog as it relates to discipline. There is a big difference between discipline and abuse. I just want to focus on the discipline aspect and why a child needs love AND discipline.
I know my parents love me (I know, that sounds like the theme to “A Different World” – my favorite TV show by the way), but they were good at disciplining me when I needed it. Do I hate my parents for it? No! They nurtured my love for music and reading. When I was 4, I would be singing with my father, and when I would be in my bedroom, I would be listening to book & tapes. One of them was Noah and the Ark (and I believed that would shape my faith in God as a result, which I’m very thankful for). In my immediate family, I’m the oldest child. Now, I can’t speak for other members in my immediate or extended family, but I know for two of my extended family members, one was never really disciplined and the other was disciplined to the point it became abuse. I know this affected their way of coping with life in many ways (and it would not turn out positive). One thing I can truly say, there were probably some things that I was disciplined for that was a bit excessive, but the point is I was disciplined. And I can pretty much name everything I was disciplined for:1. A poor progress report (kindergarten – that one haunts me till today: not so much the spanking, but having to hear the tape constantly of my behavior in class)2. Calling out a great deal in school (2ndgrade)3. Now this is embarrassing: drinking toilet water (going into 3rd grade). Now this one I deserved – even though I didn’t know what I was doing was wrong.4. Shoplifting (8th grade – this was instilled me in my the one extended family member mentioned above who was never disciplined).5. Of course, we have the lies and small things (most brought on by the undisciplined family member).
I didn’t bring all of that up to glorify the wrongs I did or to call my family out; but I wanted to say that I did receive love and discipline as a child, and it made me the man I am today. If I didn’t get the discipline, I would be a hot mess as an adult.
Oh, I will mention this since I’m an advocate for abuse survivors: both of the family members mentioned above were involved in my abuse. Now that I’m older, I’m able to understand and to pray for them (as well as forgive them).
So, this blogpost is important to me because if a child is not given love and discipline, we’re going to have adults who feel they’re entitled and just downright spoiled brats!
Many times, when I talk about family, I end up talking about abuse. I will not be discussing abuse in this blog as it relates to discipline. There is a big difference between discipline and abuse. I just want to focus on the discipline aspect and why a child needs love AND discipline.
I know my parents love me (I know, that sounds like the theme to “A Different World” – my favorite TV show by the way), but they were good at disciplining me when I needed it. Do I hate my parents for it? No! They nurtured my love for music and reading. When I was 4, I would be singing with my father, and when I would be in my bedroom, I would be listening to book & tapes. One of them was Noah and the Ark (and I believed that would shape my faith in God as a result, which I’m very thankful for). In my immediate family, I’m the oldest child. Now, I can’t speak for other members in my immediate or extended family, but I know for two of my extended family members, one was never really disciplined and the other was disciplined to the point it became abuse. I know this affected their way of coping with life in many ways (and it would not turn out positive). One thing I can truly say, there were probably some things that I was disciplined for that was a bit excessive, but the point is I was disciplined. And I can pretty much name everything I was disciplined for:1. A poor progress report (kindergarten – that one haunts me till today: not so much the spanking, but having to hear the tape constantly of my behavior in class)2. Calling out a great deal in school (2ndgrade)3. Now this is embarrassing: drinking toilet water (going into 3rd grade). Now this one I deserved – even though I didn’t know what I was doing was wrong.4. Shoplifting (8th grade – this was instilled me in my the one extended family member mentioned above who was never disciplined).5. Of course, we have the lies and small things (most brought on by the undisciplined family member).
I didn’t bring all of that up to glorify the wrongs I did or to call my family out; but I wanted to say that I did receive love and discipline as a child, and it made me the man I am today. If I didn’t get the discipline, I would be a hot mess as an adult.
Oh, I will mention this since I’m an advocate for abuse survivors: both of the family members mentioned above were involved in my abuse. Now that I’m older, I’m able to understand and to pray for them (as well as forgive them).
So, this blogpost is important to me because if a child is not given love and discipline, we’re going to have adults who feel they’re entitled and just downright spoiled brats!
November 16, 2014
Are We Hiding In The Church?
Last Sunday, God was dealing with me about people in congregations hiding inside the church so they can avoid persecution from the world. Truthfully, it's a slap in the face to Christian missionaries who are ministering outside our country and are dying by the dozens for their faith in Christ. And even worse, church leaders are advocating congregations to hide in the church or don't stray too far from the church. The underlying message is that we need you to witness to fund the local church. And if the church is under budget, it means that the congregation is not witnessing to bring bodies in to balance the budget.
Jesus said in Mathew 28:19-20: 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."
Notice what Jesus did not say. He did not say to make church members of all nations, baptizing them in the name of your local church. He said, you are the salt of the earth, not the salt of the church. Now I'm not saying that everyone needs to leave their church and that there is no need for a local church. We need that and we need to fund local churches. The focus is on priorities - His mission and not funding the church due to a deficit. Sometimes we read passages in the New Testament as a way to get people to do missions for the benefit of the local church focusing on church membership and not on a person's salvation.
The question I pose is how are we going to reach the world if we're hiding in our church? And how are we preaching the gospel if the emphasis is on church growth? It's sad when Christians are coming from places where they are being persecuted and ministering Christ to us in our own country.
The reason so many are hiding in the church is because their respective social clique is there; they want their special seat in the church; it's comfortable and their family's salvation is secure; they can continually be spiritually fed and not have to share the Good News to others. And for the record, if you are witnessing to someone and the focus is inviting to church without being concerned about their salvation (of if salvation is hinged on them attending your particular church), you are technically hiding in your church.
For many of us in our respective churches, He is calling us out into the world to reach them. You have gifts that need to touch the world. You can't do that hiding in your church (yes, God is calling some of you to use your gifts specifically for your respective church, and praise God for that). But for everyone to keep hiding in the church, is a sad indictment on those dying for their faith.
When the disciples were filled with the Holy Spirit in Acts 2, they stayed in Jerusalem afterwards. It took Stephen's death for them to get out and scatter (as Christ told them to before He went back to heaven). Sadly, God has to allow things to happen to get our attention, I pray this would encourage us to be proactive. The world is more in need of us than ever before.
Blessings:
The Mayne Man
Jesus said in Mathew 28:19-20: 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."
Notice what Jesus did not say. He did not say to make church members of all nations, baptizing them in the name of your local church. He said, you are the salt of the earth, not the salt of the church. Now I'm not saying that everyone needs to leave their church and that there is no need for a local church. We need that and we need to fund local churches. The focus is on priorities - His mission and not funding the church due to a deficit. Sometimes we read passages in the New Testament as a way to get people to do missions for the benefit of the local church focusing on church membership and not on a person's salvation.
The question I pose is how are we going to reach the world if we're hiding in our church? And how are we preaching the gospel if the emphasis is on church growth? It's sad when Christians are coming from places where they are being persecuted and ministering Christ to us in our own country.
The reason so many are hiding in the church is because their respective social clique is there; they want their special seat in the church; it's comfortable and their family's salvation is secure; they can continually be spiritually fed and not have to share the Good News to others. And for the record, if you are witnessing to someone and the focus is inviting to church without being concerned about their salvation (of if salvation is hinged on them attending your particular church), you are technically hiding in your church.
For many of us in our respective churches, He is calling us out into the world to reach them. You have gifts that need to touch the world. You can't do that hiding in your church (yes, God is calling some of you to use your gifts specifically for your respective church, and praise God for that). But for everyone to keep hiding in the church, is a sad indictment on those dying for their faith.
When the disciples were filled with the Holy Spirit in Acts 2, they stayed in Jerusalem afterwards. It took Stephen's death for them to get out and scatter (as Christ told them to before He went back to heaven). Sadly, God has to allow things to happen to get our attention, I pray this would encourage us to be proactive. The world is more in need of us than ever before.
Blessings:
The Mayne Man
November 5, 2014
Did Brittany Maynard Have To Die? (Are Suicide Victims Selfish)?
Around mid-October 2014, I stumbled across this article.
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/brittany-maynard-dying-with-dignity-before-cancer-takes-her-life/
Contrary to what she felt or believed, it was still suicide in my eyes and in the eyes of others. The questions running through my mind were, "why isn't somebody encouraging her to live? Who's speaking life into her? Who is helping her with her depression? Who's praying for her, her husband and her family? Why is the media and society applauding this?"
Of course, over this past weekend, this article emerged stating that she ended her life.http://www.religionnews.com/2014/11/02/brittany-maynard-face-right-die-movement-died-planned/
This was a suicide that could have been prevented in my opinion.
This topic was heavy on my spirit this morning, and I pose a twofold question: Did Brittany Maynard have to die? Are suicide victims (to include those who contemplate and attempt) selfish? To the first question, she did not have to die that way. To the second question, I say not totally - and that's what this blogpost will center on.
A few disclaimers:1. If you are reading this and have thought about suicide, please read this (providing this doesn't trigger you)2. If you are thinking about suicide now, please call 911 or the Suicide Prevention Hotline3. If you were called selfish or people chastised you because you talked about ending your life, you're not alone, read this and if you are indeed suicidal, see #2.4. I will be ranting in a few places within this blog, but I will warn you before my rant begins.
Ok. Are suicide victims selfish? Many are going to shout YES off the top of their lungs. I disagree to a point. I believe suicide victims had help! Yes, I said it. If you do or don't follow the Bible, bear with me as I share an example. In Numbers 20, we always harp on Moses and his disobedience therefore disqualifying himself from the promised land. I believe Moses had help. The children of Israel were to wander in the wilderness back in the 14th chapter of the same book and they weren't going to the promised land. Because they weren't going and they were disobedient, they got under Moses' skin (in my opinion). And he did an act that he wasn't supposed to do.
This example is no different to a suicide victim. Now I need to harp on the faith community in a spirit of love. When you tell someone to speak the word when they are suicidal and not listen to them, stopping what you're doing to pray, you are in essence telling them that I'm not going to bear your burden and disobey the very Word I'm telling you to speak. The Word tells us to bear another's burdens, love your neighbor as yourself, place other's interests above your own.
I can't stress this enough. How we treat people who are struggling with the will to live, or are currently experiencing a traumatic situation (such as a breakup, a divorce - I'll speak on that in a moment, a death in the family), will determine if they will either attempt, go through with ending their life or not doing either of those two.
#MayneMan Rant: I don't care where you are in your life. If you know someone struggling, a condescending attitude is an easy way for someone to do something rash. You pointing your bony little finger telling them their stupid, will make them feel less than a human and will more & likely end their life. (I will address how we treat each other in the faith world in just a moment - I can't do a blog without addressing that). Accusing them of being in sin, saying their feelings and the actions that caused their predicament is ALL their fault will push a person into fritter isolation (whether they are strong in faith or not).
When it comes to "Women & Suicide," this touches my heart to the core. No woman should ever have to carry a burden that heavy (or any burden period). To tells woman that she has no out in a marriage is going contrary to the Bible. Jesus gave two outs (fornication or adultery). Why do we have the mitigated gall to tell her that's no excuse for divorce (when she has that option). <- sorry for not giving a warning for that rant.
#MayneMan Rant (For Real): continuing from the last paragraph, so many people are burdening women with that God Hates Divorce when she's being abused physically, mentally & spiritually. I don't buy that! In fact, to burden a woman like that will either cause her to murder her spouse or commit suicide.
I can't leave my fellow men out of this. When we are experiencing a breakup (marriage or friendship) and emotions were involved (or something else that's traumatic), we need a hug and just like women, we also need an ear. If we don't get it (but instead, have to hear MAN UP), don't be surprised if we close our world and do something rash.
What troubles me is that we don't consider the other person interpersonal relationships. In many, we have a me, myself & I mentality. When we are going through, we want the world to stop for us, when others are going through, we'll give a two-second prayer (if that), talk down to them or praise God that it's not your problem. What makes this worse is we don't consider a person's heart when we relate to people. Every person is uniquely different, worthy of love & respect and may be fragile (in heart, in mind or in spirit). Suicides occur when people are feeling rejected (among teens and adults, relationship/friendship breakups are worse, especially when one is being used and kicked to the curb).
Another thing that troubles me is we take offense if someone is not having a good day. If you don't have a Joel Osteen smile, then you don't want to be bothered. If one of your children was having a bad day, you would cradle them in your arms. Why can't we do that for our brother, our sister? Jesus cradles everyone in His arms when we are hurting. We should not have to lie to people when they ask how are you!!!
The faith world can be worse. The church is supposed to be for the sick. Jesus came for the sick. Why can't we be a place of refuge for a hurting soul? Yes, we all come to church with our respective issues, but we need to be admonishing each other to greatness and not bring on further affliction to others. This is probably why folks outside don't want a part of church. Our attitudes towards real issues stink. They're hush, hush, or we tell them to deal with the pain themselves. We're real quick to give advice, but SO slow to listen. We'll condemn others who are going through, but we'll call those who we're condemning when we're going through. To the faith world, I don't want this to appear like I'm bashing you. We are all in this together. If we can stand in unity for blessings, we can stand in unity for the things that Jesus cares about. He cares about people, unity to show the world that we are one in mind, faith & spirit.
What suicide victims don't need is added help. Most (if not all) are burden with some level of pain. Their means of coping may be different. One of the easiest ways to help is to listen to them - let them vent. After you listen, you can pray (please do it showing that you care and that Jesus cares). The minute you criticize, talk down to them, not consider their feelings, blame them for their situation or for feeling that way, you are setting the scene up for a victim to isolate, not say a word, put on a plastic smile, and then take their lives. Most victims who take their lives don't advertise it. If you have to invade their space, do it with love, offer an ear. Yes, those who commit suicide make the ultimate decision, but to say they're selfish does not help anybody. Those who lost that loved one will grieve (if they have a heart) and those that died were grieving before they took their last breath.
Suicide victims need a hug and an ear like everyone else. They don't want to die, they really want to live. When pushed to the limit, they will feel unloved.
One final world on selfishness: you see, we innately are selfish, but to project your selfishness onto others is having their blood on your hands. Sadly, our personal selfishness is causing the death of many people (whether physical, mental, financial or spiritual).
I pray that we show more love in a world that's waxing cold and not caring about the beauty of life.
Blessings:
The Mayne Man
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/brittany-maynard-dying-with-dignity-before-cancer-takes-her-life/
Contrary to what she felt or believed, it was still suicide in my eyes and in the eyes of others. The questions running through my mind were, "why isn't somebody encouraging her to live? Who's speaking life into her? Who is helping her with her depression? Who's praying for her, her husband and her family? Why is the media and society applauding this?"
Of course, over this past weekend, this article emerged stating that she ended her life.http://www.religionnews.com/2014/11/02/brittany-maynard-face-right-die-movement-died-planned/
This was a suicide that could have been prevented in my opinion.
This topic was heavy on my spirit this morning, and I pose a twofold question: Did Brittany Maynard have to die? Are suicide victims (to include those who contemplate and attempt) selfish? To the first question, she did not have to die that way. To the second question, I say not totally - and that's what this blogpost will center on.
A few disclaimers:1. If you are reading this and have thought about suicide, please read this (providing this doesn't trigger you)2. If you are thinking about suicide now, please call 911 or the Suicide Prevention Hotline3. If you were called selfish or people chastised you because you talked about ending your life, you're not alone, read this and if you are indeed suicidal, see #2.4. I will be ranting in a few places within this blog, but I will warn you before my rant begins.
Ok. Are suicide victims selfish? Many are going to shout YES off the top of their lungs. I disagree to a point. I believe suicide victims had help! Yes, I said it. If you do or don't follow the Bible, bear with me as I share an example. In Numbers 20, we always harp on Moses and his disobedience therefore disqualifying himself from the promised land. I believe Moses had help. The children of Israel were to wander in the wilderness back in the 14th chapter of the same book and they weren't going to the promised land. Because they weren't going and they were disobedient, they got under Moses' skin (in my opinion). And he did an act that he wasn't supposed to do.
This example is no different to a suicide victim. Now I need to harp on the faith community in a spirit of love. When you tell someone to speak the word when they are suicidal and not listen to them, stopping what you're doing to pray, you are in essence telling them that I'm not going to bear your burden and disobey the very Word I'm telling you to speak. The Word tells us to bear another's burdens, love your neighbor as yourself, place other's interests above your own.
I can't stress this enough. How we treat people who are struggling with the will to live, or are currently experiencing a traumatic situation (such as a breakup, a divorce - I'll speak on that in a moment, a death in the family), will determine if they will either attempt, go through with ending their life or not doing either of those two.
#MayneMan Rant: I don't care where you are in your life. If you know someone struggling, a condescending attitude is an easy way for someone to do something rash. You pointing your bony little finger telling them their stupid, will make them feel less than a human and will more & likely end their life. (I will address how we treat each other in the faith world in just a moment - I can't do a blog without addressing that). Accusing them of being in sin, saying their feelings and the actions that caused their predicament is ALL their fault will push a person into fritter isolation (whether they are strong in faith or not).
When it comes to "Women & Suicide," this touches my heart to the core. No woman should ever have to carry a burden that heavy (or any burden period). To tells woman that she has no out in a marriage is going contrary to the Bible. Jesus gave two outs (fornication or adultery). Why do we have the mitigated gall to tell her that's no excuse for divorce (when she has that option). <- sorry for not giving a warning for that rant.
#MayneMan Rant (For Real): continuing from the last paragraph, so many people are burdening women with that God Hates Divorce when she's being abused physically, mentally & spiritually. I don't buy that! In fact, to burden a woman like that will either cause her to murder her spouse or commit suicide.
I can't leave my fellow men out of this. When we are experiencing a breakup (marriage or friendship) and emotions were involved (or something else that's traumatic), we need a hug and just like women, we also need an ear. If we don't get it (but instead, have to hear MAN UP), don't be surprised if we close our world and do something rash.
What troubles me is that we don't consider the other person interpersonal relationships. In many, we have a me, myself & I mentality. When we are going through, we want the world to stop for us, when others are going through, we'll give a two-second prayer (if that), talk down to them or praise God that it's not your problem. What makes this worse is we don't consider a person's heart when we relate to people. Every person is uniquely different, worthy of love & respect and may be fragile (in heart, in mind or in spirit). Suicides occur when people are feeling rejected (among teens and adults, relationship/friendship breakups are worse, especially when one is being used and kicked to the curb).
Another thing that troubles me is we take offense if someone is not having a good day. If you don't have a Joel Osteen smile, then you don't want to be bothered. If one of your children was having a bad day, you would cradle them in your arms. Why can't we do that for our brother, our sister? Jesus cradles everyone in His arms when we are hurting. We should not have to lie to people when they ask how are you!!!
The faith world can be worse. The church is supposed to be for the sick. Jesus came for the sick. Why can't we be a place of refuge for a hurting soul? Yes, we all come to church with our respective issues, but we need to be admonishing each other to greatness and not bring on further affliction to others. This is probably why folks outside don't want a part of church. Our attitudes towards real issues stink. They're hush, hush, or we tell them to deal with the pain themselves. We're real quick to give advice, but SO slow to listen. We'll condemn others who are going through, but we'll call those who we're condemning when we're going through. To the faith world, I don't want this to appear like I'm bashing you. We are all in this together. If we can stand in unity for blessings, we can stand in unity for the things that Jesus cares about. He cares about people, unity to show the world that we are one in mind, faith & spirit.
What suicide victims don't need is added help. Most (if not all) are burden with some level of pain. Their means of coping may be different. One of the easiest ways to help is to listen to them - let them vent. After you listen, you can pray (please do it showing that you care and that Jesus cares). The minute you criticize, talk down to them, not consider their feelings, blame them for their situation or for feeling that way, you are setting the scene up for a victim to isolate, not say a word, put on a plastic smile, and then take their lives. Most victims who take their lives don't advertise it. If you have to invade their space, do it with love, offer an ear. Yes, those who commit suicide make the ultimate decision, but to say they're selfish does not help anybody. Those who lost that loved one will grieve (if they have a heart) and those that died were grieving before they took their last breath.
Suicide victims need a hug and an ear like everyone else. They don't want to die, they really want to live. When pushed to the limit, they will feel unloved.
One final world on selfishness: you see, we innately are selfish, but to project your selfishness onto others is having their blood on your hands. Sadly, our personal selfishness is causing the death of many people (whether physical, mental, financial or spiritual).
I pray that we show more love in a world that's waxing cold and not caring about the beauty of life.
Blessings:
The Mayne Man
October 31, 2014
BBB (Broken, Beaten & Battered) - a poem
Today, this was dropped on my spirit. I've been in Psalms for almost 2 weeks and I call this my Psalm to God. Although this has been my life these past 2 weeks, it also sums up my life. I ask that you rejoice with me as to the goodness of God and how God has kept me. He has given me beauty for ashes and He can give you that also.
BBB (Broken, Beaten & Battered)Written 10/31/14 10:42am
I come to the Father broken, beaten & battered. He wants all of my pain. I lay this broken body down as if it were dead, so it's Jesus I gain.
Loved ones have abandoned me, but You Lord have loved me still. I surrender my life to you in all areas, and I now surrender to Your will.
I spent so many years living for me, and it has brought me nothing but sorrow. So I seek You and Your righteousness and will strive not to worry about tomorrow.
So many are living for self striving for attention, turn our hearts back to You. We will keep hurting each other if we keep doing what we do.
This 28 years of abstinence is not for me, but for Your glory. Some will mock as this testimony, but You have given me this story.
The good that I do for others is nothing but a filthy rag in your eyes. So why should I boast in them, Your dying for me is where my faith lies.
If I have to live this life alone, broken, beaten & battered; I count it all joy though my life feels like glass that's shattered.
All the pieces on the floor as no one cares to clean me up. But You are the only one to pick me up and overfill my cup.
I have loved and lost, and I have hurt those I care about. I pray they forgive me and I thank You Lord for not judging me and taking me out.
If you were brave enough to read this, come to Jesus this minute, this hour. He wants your broken, beaten & battered heart & spirit, so He can make your life beautiful as a flower.
BBB (Broken, Beaten & Battered)Written 10/31/14 10:42am
I come to the Father broken, beaten & battered. He wants all of my pain. I lay this broken body down as if it were dead, so it's Jesus I gain.
Loved ones have abandoned me, but You Lord have loved me still. I surrender my life to you in all areas, and I now surrender to Your will.
I spent so many years living for me, and it has brought me nothing but sorrow. So I seek You and Your righteousness and will strive not to worry about tomorrow.
So many are living for self striving for attention, turn our hearts back to You. We will keep hurting each other if we keep doing what we do.
This 28 years of abstinence is not for me, but for Your glory. Some will mock as this testimony, but You have given me this story.
The good that I do for others is nothing but a filthy rag in your eyes. So why should I boast in them, Your dying for me is where my faith lies.
If I have to live this life alone, broken, beaten & battered; I count it all joy though my life feels like glass that's shattered.
All the pieces on the floor as no one cares to clean me up. But You are the only one to pick me up and overfill my cup.
I have loved and lost, and I have hurt those I care about. I pray they forgive me and I thank You Lord for not judging me and taking me out.
If you were brave enough to read this, come to Jesus this minute, this hour. He wants your broken, beaten & battered heart & spirit, so He can make your life beautiful as a flower.
October 30, 2014
How Husbands Can Help Their Wives Heal
If you are a woman who's suffered any type of abuse, I dedicate this post to you. If you are a man who either has suffered abuse, or are married to a woman who has suffered abuse, I dedicate this post to you.
Over the past six years of speaking to people of all ages about child sexual abuse and suicide, I have met many people who have touched my life with their stories. Yesterday, the title for this blog was dropped in my spirit. And so many nuggets came with it. So let's partake of what was shown to me.
In a relationship (or even in a friendship), some women will not share things that have happened in their past upfront. Ladies, I will say that's OK. The one thing you don't want to do is to trigger something from your past if you're not ready to confront it. Men, when relating to a woman, we must respect their decision. We must never provoke them to go to a place where they will be fearful for their lives. So, what can men do? Pray for her, intercede for her, stand in the gap for her. Wash her with the Word in loving matter. When she's ready, just listen to her heart - that speaks volumes to her. Don't speak unless she wants your thought. And when you share your thought, never attack her.
Men, if you're married to a woman and she has mood swings at odd times due to her past, she might run you off; blame you for things you do or you didn't do (or nit-pick things you say or do). In some cases, she might run you into the arms of another woman. Men, in reference to that last sentence, don't go off into the arms of another woman. Do you have to take her abuse? Yes and no. You married her for better or worse. When she is not in her moods, let her know how you feel (never attack her or talk down to her when you do).
Now. If you're like me, you want to try to fix everything people are going through. The truth is, we men can't. Yes, it's our nature to do that, but when a woman is on the path to healing, there are some things she will have to face with just God and her alone.
Men, please hear me when I say this: if you don't nurture your wife when she's trying to heal from her past, know that she's vulnerable. If you're not careful, she could end up in the arms of another man (single or married).
There might be some single men reading this and asking this question: What can single men do? Easy advice: Be so focused on God and just stand in the gap as a brother in Christ.
Men, I encourage you to stay committed to the woman God chose for you (and cover her in prayer). No matter what she does, what she's going through or what she's been through, she's under attack by the devil. She needs you in all areas. Remember there's power in two. A three-fold cord can't be broken (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
Blessings:
The Mayne Man
Over the past six years of speaking to people of all ages about child sexual abuse and suicide, I have met many people who have touched my life with their stories. Yesterday, the title for this blog was dropped in my spirit. And so many nuggets came with it. So let's partake of what was shown to me.
In a relationship (or even in a friendship), some women will not share things that have happened in their past upfront. Ladies, I will say that's OK. The one thing you don't want to do is to trigger something from your past if you're not ready to confront it. Men, when relating to a woman, we must respect their decision. We must never provoke them to go to a place where they will be fearful for their lives. So, what can men do? Pray for her, intercede for her, stand in the gap for her. Wash her with the Word in loving matter. When she's ready, just listen to her heart - that speaks volumes to her. Don't speak unless she wants your thought. And when you share your thought, never attack her.
Men, if you're married to a woman and she has mood swings at odd times due to her past, she might run you off; blame you for things you do or you didn't do (or nit-pick things you say or do). In some cases, she might run you into the arms of another woman. Men, in reference to that last sentence, don't go off into the arms of another woman. Do you have to take her abuse? Yes and no. You married her for better or worse. When she is not in her moods, let her know how you feel (never attack her or talk down to her when you do).
Now. If you're like me, you want to try to fix everything people are going through. The truth is, we men can't. Yes, it's our nature to do that, but when a woman is on the path to healing, there are some things she will have to face with just God and her alone.
Men, please hear me when I say this: if you don't nurture your wife when she's trying to heal from her past, know that she's vulnerable. If you're not careful, she could end up in the arms of another man (single or married).
There might be some single men reading this and asking this question: What can single men do? Easy advice: Be so focused on God and just stand in the gap as a brother in Christ.
Men, I encourage you to stay committed to the woman God chose for you (and cover her in prayer). No matter what she does, what she's going through or what she's been through, she's under attack by the devil. She needs you in all areas. Remember there's power in two. A three-fold cord can't be broken (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
Blessings:
The Mayne Man
Who's Crying For The Little Girl? (#stopchildabuse)
Last Thursday, that question was dropped in my spirit. When it did, my heart dropped. I couldn't help but think about all of the girls who are abused by family members, the judicial system, law enforcement, the entertainment industry, etc. I need to declare that this post is a trigger warning, so read with caution.
Christine Caine stated that the average age of a trafficking victim is 12 years old. 1-2% of victims are ever rescued. She defines human trafficking as this: Human trafficking is the illegal trade of human beings, mainly for the purposes of forced labor and sex trafficking. As the world's fastest growing criminal industry, it affects every nation across the globe. Every 30 seconds, someone becomes a victim of modern-day slavery.
There are more slaves in the world today than at any other point in human history, with an estimated 27 million in bondage across the globe. Men, women, and children are being exploited for manual and sexual labor against their will.
Not only is this shocking, it sends a chill down my back.
From http://www.shessomebodysdaughter.com/get-the-facts-about-sex-trafficking
In recent interviews with men who purchased a woman or child for sex in prostitution, Benjamin Nolot, of the The Exodus Cry Movement, found there wasn’t one who didn’t have a history of viewing pornography.
In a study that compared men who buy sex with who don’t buy sex researchers found that sex buyers viewed and imitated pornography more often than the non-sex buyers.Eighty percent of prostitution survivors at the WHISPER Oral History Project reported that their customers showed them pornography to illustrate the kinds of sexual activities in which they wanted to engage. Fifty-two percent of the women stated that pornography played a significant role in teaching them what was expected of them as prostitutes.
I know this is heavy, but I ask that you near with me if you can. We have the power to change the world and rescue these girls.
The following is an excerpt from http://thinkprogress.org/health/2012/10/06/971401/girls-human-trafficking-and-modern-slavery-in-america/
Malika Saada Saar, the executive director of Rights4Girls, a U.S. based human rights organization for young women and girls, has this to say.
On the 150th anniversary of when President Lincoln issued the preliminary Emancipation Proclamation, which set the date for the freedom of more than 3 million enslaved Americans, President Obama called for the end of modern day slavery. The president’s historical speech delivered at the Clinton Global Initiative, called for major policy changes, at home and abroad, to combat the enslavement of millions of women, men and children.
Many of the slaves today are girls. Born in America. Hidden in plain view.
They are the lost girls, standing around bus stops, hanging out by runaway youth shelters, or advertised online. At the Motel 8 or the Marriott, at McDonalds or the clubs.
According to the FBI, there are currently an estimated 293,000 American children at risk of being exploited and trafficked for sex. Forty percent of all human trafficking cases opened for investigation between January 2008 and June 2010 were for the sexual trafficking of a child. And while the term trafficking may conjure images of desperate illegal immigrants being forced into prostitution by human smugglers, 83 percent of victims in confirmed sex trafficking cases in this country were American citizens.
The majority of these children being sold for sex are girls between the ages of 12 and 14. They are girls abducted or lured by traffickers and then routinely raped, beaten into submission, and sometimes even branded. When the girls try to run away, their traffickers torture and or gang rape them.
They are girls like Jackie who ran away from an abusive home at 13 only to be found alone and hungry by a trafficker who promised to love her like a father/boyfriend/Prince Charming. He sold her to at least six different men every night. When she begged him for food or rest, he beat her.
Young girls like Jackie are the new commodities that traffickers and gangs are selling. In many respects, the girl trade has replaced the drug trade. Drug routes have been repurposed to sell girls, along I-95, and up and down the I-5 corridor. The emergence of the Internet also allows the sale of a girl to be executed with ease, discretion, and convenience for the buyer. And unlike selling a drug, the girl is “reusable.”
The ugly truth is that it is less risky and more profitable to sell a girl than crack cocaine or meth. The U.S. government spends 300 times more money each year to fight drug trafficking than it does to fight human trafficking. And the criminal penalties for drug trafficking are generally greater than the ones usually levied against those who traffic in girls. Traffickers, and especially the politely termed “Johns,” are rarely arrested and prosecuted. Which explains the growing demand for vey young girls— at the click of a mouse, a “John” can purchase a girl online on legitimate websites like Backpage.com, with minimal fear of punishment.
Many of these girls who are bought and sold for sex come out of a broken foster care system. “Of the trafficking victims in Alameda County, California, 55 percent were from foster youth group homes. In New York, 85 percent of trafficking victims had prior child welfare involvement. And in Florida, the head of the state’s trafficking task force estimates that 70 percent of victims are foster youth.
Unfortunately, most child welfare systems have failed to properly identify and assist trafficked and exploited children. The protections, services, and protocols established for abused and neglected children within the child welfare system are rarely extended to trafficked girls. Instead, the girls are relegated to the juvenile justice system, criminalized for being raped and trafficked. This must be the only time in which it is the abused child is the one who is incarcerated for the abuse perpetrated against her.
But that’s the problem—these girls are not considered victims. So while in the United States, we have the very same child sex slave markets as in Cambodia, the Philippines, and India, the girls from here, the girls from Southeast DC or South Central LA, are seen as the “ho,” the bad girl, the teen hooker.
Can I ask what's up with that? Why are we neglecting children? Why are the systems set in place supposing to protect children neglecting them before our very eyes?
Now, I can't do a blogpost without addressing the faith community. Many people pray and fast for our breakthrough, and that's fine. When I read Isaiah 58:6, it talks about fasting for the oppressed and that they be set free from the chains that's binding them (yes, that's my paraphrase - smile). I pose a few questions: do we care about the souls that are hurting? In the judicial system, does a jury verdict matter when a judge will overturn it allowing criminals to walk free?
I want to close this with a call to action. Yes, we need to cry for the little girl (and all children who suffer abuse), but action is needed. Christine Caine said this: Human trafficking fuels the growth of organized crime, undermining health, safety, security, and the basic needs of humanity. It is the fastest growing crime in the world.She has an organization called A21. It's a non-profit organization and A21 believes that together, we can end human trafficking.
I encourage you to get involved by checking out her site!http://www.thea21campaign.org/index.php
I believe every child who has been abused will relate to this poem (this is from my novel Deaf, Dumb, Blind & Stupid):
Who Will Cry?Who will cry for the little child that lives inside Of Me?Who will cry for the little child dying to be set free?Who will cry for the little child wounded continuously?I will cry for the little child, For that little child is Me!
Blessings:
The Mayne Man
Christine Caine stated that the average age of a trafficking victim is 12 years old. 1-2% of victims are ever rescued. She defines human trafficking as this: Human trafficking is the illegal trade of human beings, mainly for the purposes of forced labor and sex trafficking. As the world's fastest growing criminal industry, it affects every nation across the globe. Every 30 seconds, someone becomes a victim of modern-day slavery.
There are more slaves in the world today than at any other point in human history, with an estimated 27 million in bondage across the globe. Men, women, and children are being exploited for manual and sexual labor against their will.
Not only is this shocking, it sends a chill down my back.
From http://www.shessomebodysdaughter.com/get-the-facts-about-sex-trafficking
In recent interviews with men who purchased a woman or child for sex in prostitution, Benjamin Nolot, of the The Exodus Cry Movement, found there wasn’t one who didn’t have a history of viewing pornography.
In a study that compared men who buy sex with who don’t buy sex researchers found that sex buyers viewed and imitated pornography more often than the non-sex buyers.Eighty percent of prostitution survivors at the WHISPER Oral History Project reported that their customers showed them pornography to illustrate the kinds of sexual activities in which they wanted to engage. Fifty-two percent of the women stated that pornography played a significant role in teaching them what was expected of them as prostitutes.
I know this is heavy, but I ask that you near with me if you can. We have the power to change the world and rescue these girls.
The following is an excerpt from http://thinkprogress.org/health/2012/10/06/971401/girls-human-trafficking-and-modern-slavery-in-america/
Malika Saada Saar, the executive director of Rights4Girls, a U.S. based human rights organization for young women and girls, has this to say.
On the 150th anniversary of when President Lincoln issued the preliminary Emancipation Proclamation, which set the date for the freedom of more than 3 million enslaved Americans, President Obama called for the end of modern day slavery. The president’s historical speech delivered at the Clinton Global Initiative, called for major policy changes, at home and abroad, to combat the enslavement of millions of women, men and children.
Many of the slaves today are girls. Born in America. Hidden in plain view.
They are the lost girls, standing around bus stops, hanging out by runaway youth shelters, or advertised online. At the Motel 8 or the Marriott, at McDonalds or the clubs.
According to the FBI, there are currently an estimated 293,000 American children at risk of being exploited and trafficked for sex. Forty percent of all human trafficking cases opened for investigation between January 2008 and June 2010 were for the sexual trafficking of a child. And while the term trafficking may conjure images of desperate illegal immigrants being forced into prostitution by human smugglers, 83 percent of victims in confirmed sex trafficking cases in this country were American citizens.
The majority of these children being sold for sex are girls between the ages of 12 and 14. They are girls abducted or lured by traffickers and then routinely raped, beaten into submission, and sometimes even branded. When the girls try to run away, their traffickers torture and or gang rape them.
They are girls like Jackie who ran away from an abusive home at 13 only to be found alone and hungry by a trafficker who promised to love her like a father/boyfriend/Prince Charming. He sold her to at least six different men every night. When she begged him for food or rest, he beat her.
Young girls like Jackie are the new commodities that traffickers and gangs are selling. In many respects, the girl trade has replaced the drug trade. Drug routes have been repurposed to sell girls, along I-95, and up and down the I-5 corridor. The emergence of the Internet also allows the sale of a girl to be executed with ease, discretion, and convenience for the buyer. And unlike selling a drug, the girl is “reusable.”
The ugly truth is that it is less risky and more profitable to sell a girl than crack cocaine or meth. The U.S. government spends 300 times more money each year to fight drug trafficking than it does to fight human trafficking. And the criminal penalties for drug trafficking are generally greater than the ones usually levied against those who traffic in girls. Traffickers, and especially the politely termed “Johns,” are rarely arrested and prosecuted. Which explains the growing demand for vey young girls— at the click of a mouse, a “John” can purchase a girl online on legitimate websites like Backpage.com, with minimal fear of punishment.
Many of these girls who are bought and sold for sex come out of a broken foster care system. “Of the trafficking victims in Alameda County, California, 55 percent were from foster youth group homes. In New York, 85 percent of trafficking victims had prior child welfare involvement. And in Florida, the head of the state’s trafficking task force estimates that 70 percent of victims are foster youth.
Unfortunately, most child welfare systems have failed to properly identify and assist trafficked and exploited children. The protections, services, and protocols established for abused and neglected children within the child welfare system are rarely extended to trafficked girls. Instead, the girls are relegated to the juvenile justice system, criminalized for being raped and trafficked. This must be the only time in which it is the abused child is the one who is incarcerated for the abuse perpetrated against her.
But that’s the problem—these girls are not considered victims. So while in the United States, we have the very same child sex slave markets as in Cambodia, the Philippines, and India, the girls from here, the girls from Southeast DC or South Central LA, are seen as the “ho,” the bad girl, the teen hooker.
Can I ask what's up with that? Why are we neglecting children? Why are the systems set in place supposing to protect children neglecting them before our very eyes?
Now, I can't do a blogpost without addressing the faith community. Many people pray and fast for our breakthrough, and that's fine. When I read Isaiah 58:6, it talks about fasting for the oppressed and that they be set free from the chains that's binding them (yes, that's my paraphrase - smile). I pose a few questions: do we care about the souls that are hurting? In the judicial system, does a jury verdict matter when a judge will overturn it allowing criminals to walk free?
I want to close this with a call to action. Yes, we need to cry for the little girl (and all children who suffer abuse), but action is needed. Christine Caine said this: Human trafficking fuels the growth of organized crime, undermining health, safety, security, and the basic needs of humanity. It is the fastest growing crime in the world.She has an organization called A21. It's a non-profit organization and A21 believes that together, we can end human trafficking.
I encourage you to get involved by checking out her site!http://www.thea21campaign.org/index.php
I believe every child who has been abused will relate to this poem (this is from my novel Deaf, Dumb, Blind & Stupid):
Who Will Cry?Who will cry for the little child that lives inside Of Me?Who will cry for the little child dying to be set free?Who will cry for the little child wounded continuously?I will cry for the little child, For that little child is Me!
Blessings:
The Mayne Man
