Tremayne Moore's Blog, page 4

Fighting For Love With A Purpose

This was a lesson that I did for a singles group on Facebook focused on love & relationships back on April 12th, 2016. The group admins were focusing on the topic “purpose” for the month of April, the title came to me, as I was getting reading for work on The 7th of April. The next day, I started to type the lesson and it just flowed. I will admit that this is lengthy (but I’m going to strive to edit this for the blogpost). I was able to divide this into 20 posts (with some interludes and a bonus that was not expected). I will have you listen to some songs as you’re reading specific posts (you should be able to click the links, but if you can’t, I’ll tell you what the song is so you can YouTube it and be ministered to as you read. And yes, this is still along the lines of healing that I’ve been blogging on since April.
(Intro) 7:59amGood morning. It is a privilege and honor to be your guest speaker today. First and foremost, I thank God for this day and this moment and now I have to thank the admins for allowing me to minister to you today. I pray that you will be blessed by what I’m about to talk about today, so before we begin, let’s pray.Father, in the name of Jesus, I thank You for your many blessings, and we thank You for giving us Your breath of life. We thank You for Your Word, and we ask that You send forth revelation knowledge to bless everyone in this group today. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.
(Post 1 of 20) 8:10amToday’s topic is called Fighting For Love With Purpose and the foundational scripture is 1 Timothy 6:12. Keep in mind, that even though this is about love, this teaching can actually be applied to any area of your life.
So some of you might be wondering, why is this called Fighting For Love With A Purpose? It’s a great question; so let me give you the answer. When you desire a love that leads to marriage, remember that the devil hates the institution of marriage.
The minute a man of God and a woman of God connect (their gifts complement each other, and they’re each other’s best friend), the devil gets scared. So what the devil’s going to do is send obstacles to challenge your faith in that very thing that the Holy Spirit has placed in your heart, a spouse. What’s the purpose in the fight for love? To not lose faith in love, the marriage partner that will complement your gifts and most importantly, to the God who created Marriage. So, you will have to on purpose, fight to keep that dream you have for love alive (until you see it manifested)!
With that, let’s read -> 1 Timothy 6:12 says (from the Amplified Bible): Fight the good fight of the faith [in the conflict with evil]; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called, and [for which] you made the good confession [of faith] in the presence of many witnesses.
Notice that it says fight the good fight of faith. So before we really begin, let me give you a song to prepare for what we’re about to get into. So, the devil is about to be exposed and I believe some people are going to be delivered or will actually be a warrior for the Lord and for the man/woman you’ve been praying for by the time the teaching is done. If you want to look at Ephesians 6:10-18, feel free.
Charles Jenkins - Warhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcsRGgnf1No
(Post 2 of 20) 8:21amHow many of you are now pumped and ready to begin? Praise God. In the first part of 1 Timothy 6:12, it says fight the good fight of faith. What is faith? Hebrews 11:1 says that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Since we’re talking about love today, love is what many of you are hoping for (unless you plan on remaining single for the remainder of your life – and if God has called you to celibacy, praise God for that). In order to receive that hope for love, you have to have faith. So, why does Paul say to fight the good fight of faith?
It’s a good fight because you win – provided you don’t lose heart.
Because you’re technically not fighting the devil, the devil is after your faith. 
Now let’s think about it, why is the devil after your faith? If he can steal your faith in Christ and in what He’s promised you, you will be a casualty and he can wreak havoc in your life. When your believing is off, your speaking will be off and eventually your life will be off. And if he has his way, he'll cause you to be so hurt to where you have mental blocks. Those mental blocks will keep you from not only the love of a mate that you so want, but also from God's best.
(Post 3 of 20) 8:32amLet me devote a post to talk about faith and the devil’s plan to destroy your faith through a bad relationship. If you have gone through a bad relationship, either your faith is strong (and you recovered) or your faith is weak (to where you’re bitter). In most cases, the devil purposely caused the relationship to go bad (either from the start and you knew it, but still went through it – an open door for real; or you were blindsided as the relationship progressed, etc.). That was not to condemn you in any way. The reason why he did this was to steal your faith. I heard someone say this: if the devil can separate you from your faith, he can separate you from your ability to be victorious according to 1 John 5:4. In fact, the devil really doesn’t care about you, but he does care about the faith you have in Christ. Why is this so important? Because this is a faith fight, and if the Holy Spirit has given you the desire to love, then don’t think that you aren’t going to have to fight for it (and have faith that He will provide). So, keep this in mind: we’re not fighting the devil, a demon or a person. If he can separate us from our faith, then he will control you if not destroy you. Again, this means war! 
Look at Job for a moment; the devil thought that if he could wreak havoc in his life, Job would denounce his faith in God. Many of you know in 13:15 that Job says a powerful phrase, “Though he slay me, yet I will trust him.” Of course, it wasn’t God who slayed Job, it was the devil. Sadly, Job’s wife lost faith in Job and wanted Job to curse God. Job just had to go through the process in order to receive the promise. So, that brings me to my next song. If you can focus (and wait) on the promise, you can go through the process whether it’s good, bad or ugly.
Fred Hammond – They That Waithttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYrI7oClid0
(Post 4 of 20) 8:43amNow let’s bring it back to love, since that is what we’re talking about. Waiting for love can be a challenge. But is it really a challenge? To your flesh, absolutely! To your spirit, nope! So, this is why we’re to deny the flesh and submit to God. Some of you might be wondering why is the wait so long? It can vary on many reasons. I heard a sister friend say these three things, but I’m going to give my thought on them.No consistent prayer lifeBaggage from your pastGod’s Timing
The first one, no consistent prayer life, really needs any explanation. But for the benefit of those who may not understand, let me explain. Does this mean you do a shut-in, stay in your prayer closet 24/7? Not totally, but the key here is really to commune with God (and for some of us, we just have to stop talking and just listen). Some of our prayers have to really change: I pray for this person to be my wife; I pray for this person to be my husband – how many of you have heard those before? Please don’t pray them. What God has actually had me do in the past few weeks is to start praying for/over my wife even as a single man (and I would encourage you to start praying over your spouse – the purpose is to get your heart right before God, and so He can fine tune how you pray His will for your spouse). I believe one reason He is having me do this is so when I receive my realized dream in the natural, I’m prepared (the key here is to be proactive). Another reason is so my heart is tuned to His prayers (especially when I’m praying in the Spirit). So many enter relationships unprepared. Is she the primary focus of my prayers? No, because I have to make Christ the first priority and He will not stand having your spouse as an idol. So, how do you build a consistent prayer life? Have a set time to pray. I’ll be honest, I pray when I’m in the shower – this is actually where my Jacob’s ladder is. It doesn’t matter where you pray, just give God some of your time every day, and meditate on His Word daily (I’ll talk about this thing called a “soul simulator” near the end of this lesson). Not because you want love, but because you love Him for who He is! So, let’s worship Him because of who He is right where you are! And besides, if you on purpose, delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart. But don’t think that you’re just going to have the desires without a fight. So, you better put on your boxing gloves, or better yet, just whip the devil by blasting this song and just worship!
Israel & New Breed – You Are Good: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0E0ygsK9jMU
And a bonus: Martha Munizzi – Because of Who You Are:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9P1wdJqGdA
(Post 5 of 20) 8:54amBefore I dive deeply into #2, let me skip over that and cover #3 first. This is about God’s timing. There are things that may have to happen before two hearts beat like one. For one person, God may want them to focus on a certain career, clean up their credit (now these are just examples), break any soul ties from their past, and be healed from their past. For another person, some soul ties from their past may need to be broken, and the list goes on. So, the key here is to not be presumptuous, but to trust God’s timing. Now will this easy? No. Will you have to fight as you wait? Yes. You are fighting/waiting for love with a purpose. As you are waiting on God, you are to be busy with His kingdom (that has to be first and foremost because you are a child of God). Take the time to ask God what needs to be addressed in your life so I can go from faith to faith and glory to glory. But also be willing to master the art of "shut yo' mouth!" Because what God may have you do won't make sense to your senses.
(Post 6 of 20) 9:06amNow, let me talk about #2. Baggage from your past is really where I want to spend the rest of my time. If you’re currently wrestling with the baggage from your past (to the point that you’re doing everything you can to spot flaws in every person you come in contact with), that might be a case of oppression. You may also be dealing with baggage from your past when you start looking at your true brothers and sisters in Christ as your enemy. Understand, this is an indicator that your faith in God may be off. As stated in a prior post, once your faith is off, your thinking will be off, then your speaking will be off and eventually, your life will be off balance. If this is your battle, you’re not alone and please, please, please, don’t go it alone. Find a true brother/sister who is willing to lift up a war cry for you (and not cast you aside as a basket case). You are so worth fighting for (don't give up on yourself or don't give up on your healing), Jesus came to set your free. So, before I go further, let me give you a song that nearly had me in tears when I first heard it all the way through.
Brian Courtney Wilson – Worth Fighting Forhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSD81hFaIjo
(Post 7 of 20) 9:15amIf the devil can keep you bound with the baggage of your past, bringing all forms of guilt to your mind, such as “look at you, you broke a vow to God; you’re not redeemable!” “You know He hates divorce,” If you are struggling with this, can you declare this: Devil, you are a liar!
(Post 8 of 20) 9:28amNow I’d like for you all to talk back to me. I am willing to believe that many in this group will be able to identify with this, and I also would like to challenge you from here on out.Would you say that the main reason (if this applies to you) you want to remain single for the rest of your life is because you were damaged so badly? And you’re willing to not give God access to your life (or that area) because of the damage being so bad? Would you say that it’s a “trusting God” issue? Note: if God has called you to a life of celibacy, this won’t apply to you. Give God praise if He has truly called you to a life of celibacy.
(Post 9 of 20) 9:38amSpeaking of which, if you were damaged so badly, have you found yourself putting on a façade for your kids, your family and to the world? Is there a possibility that you have even put on a façade before God (considering He already knows that you’re hurt)? If I can encourage you as a brother in Christ, He already knows. In fact, here’s a song that was one of my favorites when I was a senior in high school (yes, I’m showing my age). I hope this song blesses you (and if you could hear me, you would hear me sing BeBe’s parts, note for note – in other words, I can sing – in fact that was my childhood dream). Anyway, if you’re one who’s carrying the pain of your past inside, know that I’m literally crying for you. Jesus doesn’t want you hurt (in fact, I’ll talk about an altar experience in my next post). Healing is the children’s bread.
BeBe & CeCe Winans – You Know And I Knowhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ln63ubUhpQ
(Post 10 of 20) 9:49amIf you have a Bible near you, flip over to Genesis 22. It’s a very familiar story about Abraham and Isaac. God wanted Abraham to offer Isaac up as an offering. Now watch as the Lord dropped this in my heart. Now Isaac was a teenager when this event occurred. He could’ve willingly said I’m not going to do this. But both Abraham and Isaac were obedient. Now what was significant about this offering? It’s a total trust that God will provide if we surrender our body and life to him. What Abraham was saying when he did this was that I love God more than I do my son. What Isaac was saying that I have faith that God knows what He’s doing. And Abraham was instilling in Isaac that this is a time of worship and there’s a blessing when we’re obedient. So, an altar experience is needed for every one of you who has suffered pain that’s in your heart, soul and spirit. When you lay your life down on the altar, you are letting God burn the hurt out of you. The devil doesn’t want you to go to the altar (in fact he’ll planting a seeds of doubt that “you need to carry this pain of your past with you”). God wants to free you from the hurt but He also wants to test your faithfulness. Why? Because faithfulness brings promotion! The devil doesn’t want you promoted. Let me pause so you can praise Him in advance for your promotion as you make this declaration: Father, my life is no longer my own. I trust you with my life, my future, and the spouse you are preparing for me. I present my body as a living sacrifice, and I ask right now that you remove any hurt, emotional pain that’s in those places that I’ve bottled up in my heart; I believe that mental healing, physical healing and emotional healing is my portion and it’s part of the salvation package.
(Post 11 of 20) 9:55amIf you follow me on my FB wall, you know I talk extensively when I do lessons about what the body of Christ needs to do (as my ministry is really outside the church walls, but also ensuring that the inside is cleaned up so we don’t become beautiful on the outside, but full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean inside (Matthew 23:27).I promise this is my one post on this.
Having said that, what bothers me so much, is our failure to be our brother/sister's keeper when someone is oppressed especially in the realm of relationships. No one should allow a brother/sister be so mentally/emotionally sick. So, any assignment the devil has over your life (and over my future spouse), I cancel that in Jesus' name. The devil wants to keep a brother/sister bound especially if he/she has suffered a death of a relationship. And if he can sabotage a person with the mistakes they willingly made, they will have wrong thinking. Sadly, there are bitter prophets, bitter apostles, bitter evangelists, bitter pastors and bitter teachers out there sucking the life of hurt people like a vacuum cleaner. I come against all of their teachings (as they are itching their ears with lies from the devil) in Jesus’ name.Are you with me? We need each other to survive.
(Interlude 1) 10:10amHow important is it to not judge a hurt person’s emotions and holding the hurt person’s past against them?
(Interlude 2) 10:21amDo you agree or disagree that when a hurt person is guarded & holds back, it’s because they are scared of getting into a relationship so fast (even though they know you’re right for them), when nothing in their past was ever made to last?
(Interlude 3) 10:33amThis is dedicated to the men - When we meet a woman who’s been hurt, we need to understand that she’s not our enemy. Sometimes she will not tell you everything about her life (and rightfully so), her past; understand who she is right where she is and just pray for her. That speaks volumes. Make the focus on her and her healing. A woman could be hurt because of something we may have said or done. Don’t hide it from her; tell the truth irrespective of the outcome.Share your thoughts. Ladies, you can chime in too.
(Interlude 4) 10:43amThis is dedicated to the women - When you meet a man who’s been hurt, you need to know that he is not your enemy (especially if he’s covering you, and his heart’s desire is to grow in God – and that’s his first priority). We men have a strong tendency to let pride take over when we have so many hurts in our lives. Just pray for him right where he is. That speaks volumes.Share your thoughts.
(Post 12 of 20) 10:55amI want to devote this post as an opportunity to challenge you to offer up sentence prayers to the Lord on behalf of your brother or sister who is living in a state of emotional unavailability (as a result of a tumultuous relationship, marital infidelity, a painful childhood). It’s one thing to say, “Oh, they need to heal,” or just pass them off as broken people to leave them in the state they’re in. We can talk about them all day long, but then pray for whatever you desire. So, let’s start breaking chains off of brothers/sisters you know or may not know who desperately need your prayers. In fact, their spiritual life, mental life, emotional life and physical life is depending on your prayers. Some are denying their emotional pain (which is what the devil wants them to do – and some of them have succumb to denial); some have allowed their hearts to become so callous to where they hate the opposite sex. Some are too proud to even seek counseling, or to release their pain to God who loves them so much. Some don’t even know that they are even wounded to the point they are so callous to others and they believe that it’s normal. They’re not a ‘chic with an attitude’ as one woman would say. While they are in this state of mind, the enemy is sending decoys to really destroy their lives. I refuse to let them stay bound anymore. I told you all this fight is real. Don’t let me get spiritually drained or emotionally drained as I pour my heart praying for those who are bound by the devil (some have been bound for 10, 20, 30 or even 40 years). They want to be free! They need a healing. As you listen to this song, just start praying (and you can type your prayers in the comments below). Remember, we have the authority to loose those bands of bondage!
Jesus Culture – Break Every Chain:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3q_hLdiVZI
Tasha Cobbs – Break Every Chain:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2y2OPqJJag
(Post 13 of 20) 11:07amThe reason for the prior post is because for many, your spouse may be one who’s currently in that “emotional unavailability” state, but needs your prayers so they can start their journey with Christ as He leads them to wholeness. Let’s face the hard reality, some may feel they are not ready. So, they just keep hurting. And I don’t know about you, but my heart really cries because they’re too strong to be weak. That mentality really signifies anger and a lot of fear. And what the devil is doing is planting seeds of “bad men” and “bad women” in their paths because they’re so off the path with the faith that God has given them and they will deceive them totally. This breeds another topic (legalism) which I will talk about a few posts later. Understand that the devil wants to keep these people in a position to where they’re not ready to surrender all to Him. This song (from CeCe’s Alabaster Box CD) in my opinion is overlooked. Keep the prayers of intercession flowing as you listen.
CeCe Winans – He’s Not On His Knees Yethttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuD8QgIb8Zk
(Post 14 of 20) 11:16amNow I hope you know, that as we were praying for these people, the devil is not happy! Great! Let him stay mad! He is the one who insists on those who are hurt to keep the same thought pattern. Now don’t be alarmed if those who we’re praying for are acting out of character when you see them (or they see you) or temporary cut you off (or just act irrational), remember, one of them could actually be your future spouse – the devil wants to continue to oppress them. But Jesus wants them free, and as we repent for living such selfish lives and start praying for others like we just did, angels are rejoicing in heaving. Jesus wants them whole just like He wants us to be whole. This is what it means to fight for love with a purpose.
(Post 15 of 20) 11:29amCan I address something that’s dear to my heart? Because April is sexual assault awareness month, I don’t know how many who have suffered under the pain of childhood sexual abuse within this group. You don’t have to respond, but I have found that for many who are what the world calls “emotionally unavailable,” childhood sexual abuse is one of the causes of a damaged emotional state. This is another healing that requires a fight (and possibly professional help – and there’s nothing wrong with that considering that I’m also a childhood sexual abuse survivor). If you have your Bible with you, can you turn to James 5:16. Let’s just read the first part of this verse. Confess your faults one to another. Many people will think of faults as a person’s wrongdoing. Let’s look at the word “fault” from a geology perspective. It’s an extended break in a body of rock. Think about it, a break in a body of rock. We are created by the Rock! So, in order to heal, you have to confess to get it out. Holding it in (or denying it) will cause pain to you and others around you. In fact, two symptoms that can emerge are anger and fear. Because you were abused (and possibly abandoned/neglected), you may think that you have flaws. People may not love your flaws (and judge you), but God loves your flaws. The beauty of God is that He loves our flaws - in fact, they make us all beautiful.
Kierra Sheard – Flawshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6n49CE296Q
(Post 16 of 20) 11:39amAs promised, I want to address those people who are so legalistic. These are the ones who are eager to point a finger at you to destroy your faith and to disrupt your communion with God. But if you haven’t confessed your hurts to God, your hurts will turn to bitterness which will cause you to view things in your mind through a filter and this will make your fight much more difficult. The devil will bring these legalistic Christians to tell you how condemned you are, that you’re in sin because you divorced, had pre-marital sex, and a host of other things; all designed to make your life a living hell. We as the body of Christ need to come along side of them (those who are hurt) in this fight.
(Final Interlude) 11:54amLet’s talk about how intense the fight is (and why it’s important, even when you want a love from God), and why you must fight with a purpose.
When God connects you to someone and you know that this is a God- friendship/relationship, don’t think that life is going to be rosy. The devil is going to send some people to wreak havoc to break it up. In fact, there will be church folk praying that your friendship/relationship is destroyed because of envy, jealousy, or who knows what. And that’s probably under the guise of “misery loves company.” He’s more effective when you both are in your separate corners of the boxing ring. Now, let’s talk about what you need to watch for to maintain this God- friendship/relationship. Jonas Clark said this and this is going to shake the foundation for sure. In “How Witchcraft Spirits Attack,” he said this: people who operate in witchcraft are masters as pitting people against one another in order to separate and isolate them. And I believe personally this is happening inside the church. In fact, Jonas expounds by saying this: this spirit will do whatever it takes to control the environment and wants to be the limelight in your life. In fact, a person operating in this spirit wants to talk about them, them, and them. In fact, they signify a bizarre attempt to cut off any other relationships in your life. When it comes to attacks (this is really why you have to fight): Example: suppose a demon spoke to your mind saying "he doesn't love me; she's not praying for you," and you know that's far cry from the truth. You might have to something like this: You are a liar, demon. I reject that thought about my friend. My mind is under the protection of Jesus. I bind you from my thoughts. I command you to leave me alone, in the name of Jesus. This won't be a one-time thing; you will more & likely have to do this constantly until your mind is at peace.
Because many of us are hurt or have been hurt, we have to seek God to see where and how demons have invaded. Don't mull over the past and what has happened. Now, it's time to close the door. And because you have someone in your life that's praying for you, with you and over you, you can really wreak havoc in the enemy's camp. I still believe this is why the enemy fights to separate two people who God joined together (whether it be friendship or relationship). But when they are together, warring against principalities, the friendship/relationship will blossom, healing will flourish and the devil will no longer have access to their lives anymore.
(Post 17 of 20) 12:03pmQuestion: Why do you think pastors don't teach on emotional and mental healing – better yet, call it out (we always focus on physical healing)? There are so many tormented by the devil because of past mistakes.
(Post 18 of 20) 12:14pmHere it is in 2016, and I’ve personally seen an epidemic of men and women who have been hurt by the opposing sex because they've been hurt (and if the devil has his way and we don’t assist in breaking their chains, will lead to bitterness, and bondage). Are you committed to the call as an intercessor or are you just going to be a by-stander?
(Bonus – this wasn’t planned) 12:19pmIf we follow our senses, we will give up on people who really need us. We need to believe in people when they're going through because God believes in us. Everyone in this group deserves a God-ordained spouse. So, this is my declaration to all who have been hurt: I will not give up on you even though others will quit on you. I won't condemn you like those legalistic people who say you are beyond hope or you will always be condemned in their eyes. I believe in you, and you are worth fighting for. You can call me a gold-digger (one who digs deep into you to find the true gold that's in your heart and spirit so you can be all that God wants you to be. I will on purpose fight with you and agree with you if you desire love.
(Post 19 of 20) 12:23pmAnd I promised to talk about the soul simulator (courtesy of my pastor). God has designed mediation as a tool for man to draw things from the spirit world into his natural world; that's because we are a spirit, we have a soul, and we live in a body. If we're going to transform anything in our life, it must first begin with our thinking, which is part of the soul. Jesus truly becomes Lord of our lives when our souls come in agreement with Him and His Word. Meditation, unlike worry, is envisioning the manifested promises of God on the canvas of your imagination; it is part of the process to progress in your life. 
 You see, we are what we think; therefore, we must align who we are in our souls (minds) to who God has created us to be in our spirits. One way to align your soul to the Word is to get IN the Word - not just read it, but also make yourself a part of what you read. See yourself in the scriptures regarding your health, your wealth, your wisdom, your mandated relationship/marriage and your victory. This is all a part of simulating your soul to what God wants for you. Another way to simulate is to calibrate your thoughts to the Word of God and speak those good things the Spirit of God would say. Remember, good thoughts we say and negative thoughts we cast away. The only place where limitations exist is in the mind, so take the limits off your mind through the Word. When your thinking is off, it throws off your speaking, and that ultimately throws off your living. Spend time, every day, visualizing mountains being removed and the joys of your destiny being fulfilled. Keep seeing it in your soul and saying it out of your mouth. Speak these words - "Jesus, fill my heart, flood my soul, and flow out of my mouth." I challenge every one of you in this group to spend more time in the soul simulator so that your thoughts will truly be His thoughts, and your ways will truly be His ways. Be determined to think big, dream big, and move mountains this year! 
(Post 20 of 20) 12:34pmIn closing, don’t let your past and the enemies cloud your mind from receiving God’s best. If you desire to be married, don’t lose your faith in that (and in your love for God). Delight yourself in Him and seek Him first. If you’re one who has given up, please seek God for His plan for you. He knows what you need (and this even includes a mate if you need him or her to complete your destiny). Remember, we’re in the fight of life with a purpose. Don’t give up the fight; you are the winner. Just like you received Christ by faith, and now you have to fight for your faith with a purpose. This is no different than fighting for the love that’s ordained by God with a purpose. 
I thank you all for your time today, and I pray that you are blessed, highly favored and empowered to prosper in all areas of your life. 
 I leave you all with three songs (let these songs bless you) – and they will be in the comments.
William McDowell – Spirit Break Out:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOSLtqxD-bM
Maurette Brown Clark – Sovereign Godhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3o_IZGtLHA
Bishop Paul S. Morton (featuring Tasha Cobbs) – For Your Gloryhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t__ht_qNZag

Will You Be Made Whole? (Part 3 - Abuse & Internal Bleeding)

**Trigger Warning** to those who are struggling with this. This post is also graphic in nature, so please proceed with caution.
Before I dive into the blog, I want to define internal bleeding. Internal bleeding is defined as a loss of blood that occurs from the vascular system into a body cavity or space. It is a serious medical emergency and the extent of severity depends on bleeding rate and location of the bleeding (e.g. brain, stomach, lungs). It can potentially cause death and cardiac arrest if proper medical treatment is not received quickly. Also, internal bleeding can be caused by blunt trauma such as high speed deceleration in an automobile accident, or by penetrating trauma such as a ballistic or stab wound.
Wow, it can be caused by blunt trauma. This is what I want to focus this blogpost on as it relates to abuse. I believe that internal bleeding can happens physically, but also mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I don’t know if you’re familiar with a disco legend named Sylvester. He passed away in 1988 to AIDS. I first heard about him in 1986 (I was 12 years old). I saw a video and was thinking, “it looks like a woman and sounds like a woman.” I asked my father about it, and he said that’s a man. You could say that was a “what the…..” moment. But later in life, I found out some things about his life that I found very interesting. I will not address his homosexual lifestyle, his drug use, and the songs he created in this blogpost. However, I want to focus on his early childhood as well as his latter part of his life. I believe that many of you reading will be able to identify with his life in some way. So, let’s begin.
Sylvester had a rough childhood. His father was an adulterer and left his wife and the children. Sylvester found himself at church with a love for gospel music. At the age of eight, he engaged in sexual activity with a far older man at the church—at the time rumored to be the church organist—although he would always maintain that this was consensual, and not an example of sexual molestation. Sylvester was taken to a doctor after receiving injuries during anal sex with this man; it was the doctor who informed his mother that her son was gay. When the news spread through the church about his lifestyle, he stopped attending at the age of 13.
The first point that I want to bring up is that he didn’t call this an example of sexual molestation. This is a prime example of internal bleeding on a mental and emotional level. Regardless of what Sylvester said in that it was consensual, it’s still RAPE! When I look back at my life, I was molested when I was 10 and it went on for a period of 7 months. I didn’t know it was sexual abuse, but I told people “my uncle popped me in the butt.” It was like I was hit by a car and started bleeding internally on impact (mentally and emotionally). I would learn by a great pastor that it was called sexual abuse (I was 22 then), and he prayed with me and explained to me what it was I went through. I appreciated him taking the time to talk to me about it and that particular church is truly my family. Another thing that I want to bring up is the fact that no child can consent to having sex when they more & likely don’t understand the concept of sex. If you endured this (whether inside or outside the church), I want to apologize to you. If someone inside the church molested you (or had a title that’s church related molested you), know that is not a godly act, it’s a demonic act. God is a God of love and healing, not wanting to strip a child of their identity. There may be some reading that had parents who were devoted to God, but they allowed you to be molested. I can understand that your view of God may be warped as a result. Again, I apologize to you (it was not your fault, nor does God endorse that). I also understand that a child’s view of God can be warped even if the child didn’t grow up in church (granted, it can be warped even in adulthood if there was any type of trauma suffered).
The second point that I want to bring up is that the church ostracized him. Sure, it may have been a sin according to the Bible, but at the same time, where is the love that we are show to everybody? Because this incident happened, this definitely created some internal bleeding. This is definitely a failure on the congregation’s part. Sadly, there are many people in church sitting in the pews who are internally bleeding because they have been abused (physically, spiritually, financially and emotionally). And because the bleeding has not been stopped, they’re slowly dying and we can’t blame them when they isolate themselves and stop socializing with the church. Many in congregations have been so focused on their seats in the pews and have turned to legalism to promote their supposed holiness. If you are one who was hurt by the church (via abuse), I want to apologize to you. It was not your fault.
The third and final point that I want to make from Sylvester’s story is the justice piece. If he suffered injuries as a result of the abuse, the question now becomes “why wasn’t my molester arrested?” It’s a legitimate question. Some cultures will sweep that under the carpet and say “what goes on in the house, stays in the house?” That concept will cause internal bleeding as well as collateral damage. Some families will protect the molester and side with the molester either for monetary gain, or a hidden agenda (and yes, church leaders who know there’s a pedophile doing acts like this will tend to protect the pedophile). For the church piece, that’s a failure on the leaders part. A big failure on church leaders part is that many of them are not even listening to the Holy Spirit as it relates to the flock. As a result, many of them have sheep in the congregation bleeding to death. That is a tragedy. The congregation has a lot of hurts that are unresolved because of legalism, judging spirits, divisive spirits that are hindering the church from operating effectively. The church walls are no different from the human body. If people are dying inside the church, how can they live and be all that God can be? If people aren’t physically healed from the blunt trauma suffered, how can they successfully live? They will die physically.
Let me say two additional things. Here’s the first thing: For a parent to neglect their child, reject their child or abandon their child, that will on impact cause internal bleeding emotionally, mentally and possibly spiritually (and yes, that is abuse). I am sorry that you had to experience that. There may be questions in your mind such as “does God really love me?” If this is you, see this blogpost -> http://mayneman.blogspot.com/2015/10/if-god-really-loved-me-why-was-i-abused.html
The second thing is this: If the internal bleeding isn’t addressed when it’s first noticed, the ramifications could be costly. For church leaders to embrace wrong thinking and wrong living when wounds aren’t healed, that actually causes people to die prematurely (which I believe was the case of Sylvester – he died to AIDS). His final church was the late Rev. Walter Hawkins church (and they welcomed those ostracized by society – which is commendable; but if the truth isn’t going forward and healing isn’t expressed, then it’s a serious problem)!


As I wrap up this lengthy blogpost, I want to ask you if there’s a compartment of your life (that’s painful) that you haven’t opened up to God (and yes, this applies to anyone who has suffered any type of trauma in your life)? That’s a question that I want you to think about. The beauty of God is that He will get our attention either by revelation or by a situation. Now every situation is not your fault, some might be (especially if it’s sinful). But know that His love for you has not changed nor will it ever. If you were wronged (like I was as I was molested), it’s not fair and you are so right. Know that He does NOT cause evil (let me say that again); He does NOT cause evil. However, He might allow it so He can bring good out of it. The key now that you survived it is to surrender to the process of healing. If you know Him, you will do it – He wants the broken pieces of your heart and spirit (along with the negative thoughts you’ve been saying to yourself). If this segment of this blogpost isn’t for anybody, it’s definitely for me.
Also know that there is a difference between where you are and where God wants you to be. I know that your pain has caused you to be depressed, and has probably put you in a state of disconnecting in order to protect yourself. I understand that’s where you are, but you have to ask this: how will you change? You could go to a positive thinking seminar, have a mantra where you say/quote things, etc. The end result is that you’ll change some mental things and get some viruses out of your mind, know that it won’t last nor be sufficient for what you really need. Keep in mind that I’m in the same boat as many of you who are reading this, but know that we’re going to heal together. Now this is going to sting, but you need to let God take over. But He can’t take over until you let Him; you won’t let Him until you love Him and you won’t love Him until you get religion out of your life.
You have to look deep into your heart and want freedom from the pain you suffered and any internal bleeding on an emotional level, mental level, physical level and spiritual level more than anything else. How many of you desire that? I don’t know about you, but I want freedom from it! One ticket to freedom, disconnect from people who are a hindrance to your freedom, who want to sweep the carpet from under your feed to destroy your God-designed future, and those who are focused on themselves (who are not feeding your spirit, but just want to promote themselves at your expense).
Because you have been through something traumatic causing internal bleeding on the levels mentioned above, the enemy might have caused a lid to be put on you causing you to say “you won’t go any further.” If the enemy can cause you to focus on every mistake you made in your life, there’s a strong chance that you will punish yourself. (If you happen to be punishing yourself for the mistakes you've made, please see this blogpost -> http://mayneman.blogspot.com/2016/03/the-dangers-of-punishing-self.html) The God that we serve doesn’t care of the mistakes you made, His love will never change (just receive His love). It’s not His will for you to stay in the struggle.
He wants you heal you from the internal bleeding and abuse. He’s asking you, “Will you be made whole?” I pray that you’re able to shout, “YES!”
Blessings,
The Mayne Man 

Healing The Wounds

Ok, the Mayne Man is at it again. This time, we're going to discuss wounds. I don't know if you've ever had stitches or suffered physical pain that may have either paralyzed you in some way (or may have required a cast). I never experienced the latter; however, I have had stitches. Back in the summer of 1984 (I was 10 years old), I was riding my bicycle down a hill (which was slightly behind where we lived). Of course, I fell and let's just say there was a gash in my left knee that required 6 stitches. To this day, that scar is still there. That was almost 32 years ago.
Now, why did I bring that up? Many of us have been wounded in some shape or fashion. The pain of abandonment, rejection, bullying, neglect, rape, sexual abuse, child abuse, domestic abuse, infidelity, and many other things that I didn't mention will cause a wound and create an offense. You will probably have scars (and yes, I have scars). Let me stay on track. You see, wounds have to have the right conditions to heal. 
Can I just be real for a minute? If wounds don't have the right conditions, you will more and likely set yourself up for a life of bitterness, and agonizing pain because of the wound/offense. And if the wound doesn't heal, it will create some type of collateral damage to your physical, mental, spiritual and emotional health (where it hurts you and others around you). Acting like the wound isn't there via denial will leave a greater scar than you imagined. In some cultures, the concept of "we don't talk about these things," especially when the wound is hinged on what I mentioned in the above paragraph, will scar you internally and the minute someone does or says something that triggers the horrific experience you suffered, get prepared for an explosion. I am a living witness to that! 
How many of you have looked at your scar that hasn't healed and then start to feel the anger and pain of the person that either triggered it by something they said and did or the actual person that caused the scar? How many of you have said, "I'm all good," as it relates to your wound, but you know that you are a ticking time bomb when you experience a trigger? Some of us can put on a good facade to the world (and probably to God too), but are so broken and scarred to the point we hate ourselves and the world. 
You know you are not healed when you are constantly mulling over either what you did wrong or what others did to you. And for many sexual abuse survivors, the person who wronged them might have passed away, but still mulling over it. Even worse, wishing something destructive would happen to them. 
So, what are the right conditions to healing the wounds (and getting to he path of wholeness)?
1. Like I had to with my stitches, keep them in my knee for 10 days. That's symbolic to not rushing the healing process (but at the same time, not denying that you need the healing process). 2. Continuing from #1, part of the healing process will probably require professional help (especially if it's a pain I mentioned earlier in this post), but most importantly God. A lot of people tend to overlook this step, and this is no different than having a cast on. You know that you need to wear it for 8 weeks, but your pride is saying, "I don't want to wear it, I'm cutting it off after one week!"
Healing is no different than medicine. How many of you remember Bactine? I don't know about you, but when I sprayed it on me, that stung. But they say it's to kill the germs so it can heal. That's what real healing can be like, and because of it, some don't even bother. 
I pray this has touched you and pushing you further along in your healing process on the path to wholeness (as I am also on this journey as well).
Blessings,
The Mayne Man

Don't They Deserve To Be Made Whole?

Good afternoon everyone. I pray that wherever you are as you're reading this that you are prospering even as you soul is prospering. 
It appears lately that I have been talking about healing and/or being made whole on my blog. I pray the posts from that past few days encourage you and that they are bringing peace to your spirit as they are bringing peace to mine. Using the foundational text for this post (John 5:1-9), it's the story of the lame man being healed and made whole by Jesus.
I believe that there are many people who deserve to be made whole. Who are these people? I'll answer with a series of question. Would you say that a child who was sexually abused deserves to be made whole? Would you say that the man or woman who has struggled with anxiety all of their life deserves to be made whole? Would you say that the woman who was raped deserves to be made whole? Would you say that the child who was neglected, rejected and/or abandoned deserves to be made whole? Would you say that a family who lost a loved one deserves to be made whole? Would you say that a woman who suffered under the hand of domestic violence deserves to be made whole? Would you say if a person endured deception and manipulation in a previous marriage, they deserve to be made whole? What about those who have endured long-term illnesses and have the desire to live, don't they deserve to be made whole? And what about those who know the song, I Surrender All, but because of the hurt and pain they've endured, they refuse to surrender all and make feeble attempts to go it alone? Don't they deserve to be made whole? 

The answer to every question is simply, YES! YES! YES! I'm sure I didn't hit every category, but I believe you get the point. Everybody deserves to be made whole. Some might ask the question, what's the difference between being healed and being made whole? Great question: I'll use Luke 17:11-19 to capture the difference.
On the way to Jerusalem he was passing along between Samaria and Galilee. And as he entered a village, he was met by ten lepers, who stood at a distance and lifted up their voices, saying, "Jesus, Master, have mercy on us." When he saw them he said to them, "Go and show yourselves to the priests." And as they went they were cleansed. Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus' feet, giving him thanks. Now he was a Samaritan. Then Jesus answered, "Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?" And he said to him, "Rise and go your way; your faith has made you whole."
If you noticed, all of them were healed on the way to the priest, so it was just from that one thing. But the one who came back and gave thanks to God, his faith made him whole (complete restoration of his health). Do you need a restoration in your life? Believe God but at the same time, don't allow your faith to grow weary - that's what the enemy is after, your faith. 
In closing, in order to be made whole, you have to humble yourself and surrender everything to Him (and yes, this requires faith). So, I ask you, do you trust God with everything that concerns you? Like the lame man in John 5, he trusted that God could make him whole. You deserve to be made whole.
Blessings,

The Mayne Man

Will You Be Made Whole? (Part 2 - Forgiveness)

If you read my blogpost from last night, I made a reference to some hindrances to divine healing: unbelief, sin, traditions of men, lifeless words and fear. There's an additional hindrance that I'd like to focus this blogpost on: unforgiveness.

Most unforgiveness that people have stems from anger that's in their heart. Anger is no different than worry from this perspective: Jesus summarized the last ten verses of Matthew 6 to not be anxious (or worry) about what's to come tomorrow. Most people who are anxious, worried, or fearful will be the ones who say, "I got to have something to worry about." The same holds true for an angry person (or for someone who has a mental block caused by the devil), they will say, "I got to have something to be angry about," or "I got to have somebody to be angry with." For many this is normal, even though it truthfully is dysfunction. If the devil can cause us to isolate ourselves, the devil can come in and bring its cousins (pride, arrogance, bitterness, unforgiveness and confusion) - and for some, he will bring decoys (via the opposite sex who's straight from the pit of hell) with the sole purpose of destroying you and your faith (remember he comes to steal, kill and destroy you spiritually, financially, physically, mentally and emotionally).
Ever since last Monday, I have been talking about offenses on social media (as my morning and evening posts). One thing we need to understand is that offenses will come and because we're in the last days (Matthew 24 & 2 Timothy 3), it will get worse (in fact, it's probably the new normal). If we subscribe to this new normal, we will never be free. We will end up with what I call the BUG (bitterness, unforgiveness & grudges). So this will definitely keep you from being whole as I discussed in my prior blogpost. You know what's sad, many of us know that these are hindrances to our divine healing (which is rightfully ours), but we voluntarily choose to live with the BUG. If we're not careful, offenses can cause is to miss our true destiny. Watch this: the very one who offended you, could be the very one to bless your life and launch you to your next level. This is why it's very important to forgive. Not solely or that, but really to free you, your heart from stress, and you are free to listen to God as you surrender your hurts, pains, bitterness, unforgiveness and grudges. He already knows what's troubling you, and He is waiting and ready to heal you. When you are free from anger and unforgiveness, there's a peace that comes to your spirit. There are some that say they forgive, but their hearts are so callous to where their attitude is like "nobody better cross me like that again, I will get cray cray and let you have a piece of my mind." The minute that happens, the devil gained a foothold because the inch you have him.
Joyce Meyer said something so profound as it relates to this topic. I will paraphrase a small quote from her book The Battlefield of The Mind. This is the case where the daughter (Mary) ended up with a stronghold from the devil that actually came from her father. The end result is that it would then cement her thoughts. I said that to say that it's not always our fault as to how the stronghold came. Is it fair that you are suffering for what somebody placed on you that could destroy who you are? No, although you now have the choice to cast it to the One who wants it so you can forgive to live. I dedicate this segment to anyone who has been physically abused or sexually abused knowing that this month is sexual assault awareness month:
There was a father who had a domineering spirit and he always vented his anger on the mother and Mary. The father treated his sons as golden children but the women in the house were targets of his wrath. By the time Mary was 16, she was brainwashed by the lies the devil told her such as "Men really think they are something. They are ALL alike; you can't trust them. They will hurt you and take advantage of you." As a result, when Mary left home, she resolved by saying "nobody is going to push me again." The devil was waging war on the battlefield of her mind. Joyce nailed it when she said if you play those thoughts constantly for years, don't think that she's going to be the sweet submissive wife." How many of you can testify to this?
I brought that up because we must cover our children, and each other via prayer and intercession, as well as to live peaceably with everyone (with a clean heart). I encourage you to be vocal about what you went through but go through the steps to heal (this includes forgiving yourself - which I discuss near the end).
So, what is an offense? I heard someone say that it's a feeling of being upset, irritated, hurt by something or someone did or said. 
Let's briefly talk about those who offend you. If you are one who intentionally tries to hurt someone, you truthfully are leaguing with the devil. If you are wondering when they will receive justice, don't worry about that. Forgive them and know that if they don't receive it in this life, they will when it's judgment day. I can promise you that because God said He will.
If you are offended, you actually have the right to be offended. The key is to seek God as to what you should do about it, but at the same time, confess the hurt you feel. The devil wants you to stew on it until it gets hot and boiled, to burn somebody to the point they're scorched but you're still hurt due to the anger still lingering. If you have to confront, do it in a spirit of love. Dealing with offense and anger is critical to being made whole. 
Using me as an example, in order to heal, I have to love and walk in forgiveness. This requires humility and dying to self. And yes, the MayneMan still has some dying to do and that's a process in itself, but I'm willing and determined to go through it (in fact, I'm in it now, and sharing parts of the process with you like this one - as this is part of my process). I have to understand that people may intentionally try to hurt me and some may not even know they are hurting me (whether it's perceived by a filter of hurts from my past or not). The key is to forgive them regardless. Will it require a faith increase (like the disciples requested after they learned they have to forgive 70x7 times)? You bet! Walking in forgiveness is about your freedom and healing -granted, we have work to do and people need our gift. It's rather difficult to walk in your gift when you are bitter, angry and mean (I call it the BAM state).
You know Christ forgave everyone who nailed Him to the cross, He forgave those who were offended by Him, those who rejected Him; now watch this, we won't forgive someone who owes us $5! If you have time, read Matthew 18:21-35. Also know there is a difference between forgiveness and trust. I always wondered why we have a tendency to be angrier at unintentional things than we do intentional. But I'm also reminded that offenses will increase, betrayals will increase and hatred will increase. Either way, I am to have a heart that forgives.
The last thing I want to discuss is the concept of forgiving ourselves. Sometimes we can be our worst enemy. The enemy will do whatever he can to make us feel so guilty for the wrong we did, for allowing ourselves to be put in compromising situations or to blame you for the wrong that you didn't do. Can you do yourself a favor when you hear a voice saying, "You can't forgive yourself, look at your life, look at what you caused!" Tell that voice, "so what that I messed up! I accepted the part that belongs to me and rebuke the part that doesn't belong to me. I forgive me and I'm forgiven by God. I claim the promise of 1 John 1:9."
As for me, I forgive me, I'm forgiven by God and I forgive everyone who intentionally or unintentionally hurt me. I hold no bitterness towards anyone. I desire to be made whole by Jesus and by faith I am whole even as He takes me through the process of healing that I'm currently on. My poor choices in life do not define me nor do they deter what God has for me.

I pray that this blesses you as you walk in the power of forgiveness. Remember, it's all about getting us to a place where we can shout YES when He asks us the question "Will You Be Made Whole?"
Blessings,
The Mayne Man  

Will You Be Made Whole?

I dedicate this post to anyone who needs a healing of any type (physical, mental, emotional, and/or spiritual) due to something traumatic you experienced in your life. The question “will you be made whole?” was a question that Jesus asked a man who had an infirmity for 38 years. It comes from John 5:1-9 which says:
After this there was a feast of the Jews, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. Now there is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a pool, which is called in Hebrew, Bethesda] having five porches. In these lay a great multitude of sick people, blind, lame, paralyzed, waiting for the moving of the water. For an angel went down at a certain time into the pool and stirred up the water; then whoever stepped in first, after the stirring of the water, was made well of whatever disease he had. Now a certain man was there who had an infirmity thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, “Will You Be Made Whole?”The sick man answered Him, “Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; but while I am coming, another steps down before me.” Jesus said to him, “Rise, take up your bed and walk.” And immediately the man was made well, took up his bed, and walked. And that day was the Sabbath.
Now he wanted to be in the pool and I’m sure he was disappointed in that others were cutting in front of him and were discounting the fact that he wanted to be whole. In short, they were only thinking about themselves and didn’t bother to stop to consider the man with the infirmity who needed a healing for his condition. Granted, I could do a blog on what I’m thinking (there are many who won’t even stop to consider those who needs a healing – but instead, they’ll chastise and ridicule those who are in pain). Anyway, let me go back to the original intent of this post, so let me ask you (if you are need of a healing), “Will You Be Made Whole?” If it makes you feel any better, I am also in need of a healing so if I were asked that same question, I will shout YES from the rooftop.
So, how does this all work? It’s a great question. First and foremost, it’s a step of faith. In fact, healing is no different than faith. It requires belief, confession and action. It’s interesting that we will believe our healing, confess our healing, but then when it’s time for action, we’ll either quit in the process or not even bother to take that step of faith. Well, many of you know I detest the phrase “fake it till you make it,” and I still do. In this case, you have to “faith it till you make it.” In other words, keep your eyes on the promise and not on the process (believe that you are healed and start walking in it – even though you are on the path to realizing what you’ve been believing for). Now let me make this loud and clear, go through the process. If you’re not going to go through the process, don’t even bother confessing or believing that you’re healed, because it won’t work. Another thing that’s interesting is that we’ll say we’re free from something, but the truth is, we’re really lying to ourselves if we don’t even go through whatever steps God wants you to go through to get to your promise.
For some ungodly reason, we in the faith community hate seeking professional help (a counselor, doctor, etc.). And if I can quote Dr. Betty Price here, I will. She said something very profound when I attended the FaithDome in the summer of 1998. When she shared about how she was healed from cancer, she said that she had the word of God in her heart; however, she did go through chemotherapy. She continued on by saying that so many people think they’re in faith when they know they have cancer, but won’t go to the doctor. That’s not faith at all. Doctors can prescribe, diagnose and cut, but Jesus has to do the healing (but thank God for what the doctors can do). I believe what she said can relate to any type of healing you need. And by the way, this is an action step towards receiving your healing. Remember your faith is in God (and your healing comes from God), not man (but thank God for those doctors, counselors, etc.).
What are some excuses that people will make to justify their reason to stay bound? “Well, I don’t know if I can be healed. I don’t know if God can heal me. I’m too damaged because of what others have done to me, and what I’ve done to myself.” If this is you, please stop. The devil is rejoicing when you’re making those phrases, knowing that you’re giving your birthright away to someone who doesn’t give two cents about you. What are some other excuses? “I don’t know what the healing process entails. I’m scared.” Wait!!! God has not given you the spirit of fear.
Now let me make this disclaimer so the devil doesn’t torment anyone reading. I’m not condemning you, but if anything, wanting to stand by your side as you prepare for true healing. The devil doesn’t want you healed (in fact, he wants you to think that bondage is your new normal). Will I say that the process is easy? Absolutely not, and I will use myself as an example. As I started finding out things about me, I learned that for the two steps I take forward, there’s one step that has to go back. The key here is to stay with the process and not quit because I’m not seeing immediate results.
I laugh as I just typed the prior sentence. Let me talk about immediate results for a moment. I don’t know about you, but I’m like this at times: Lord, can I just be done with this healing so I can truly live? Like, can this be done in 24 hours? I was reminded of Jeremiah 29:10-11 that says, For thus says the Lord: After seventy years are completed at Babylon, I will visit you and perform My good word toward you, and cause you to return to this place. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Did any of you pick up the fact that the Lord said after 70 years? Imagine that our healing would take 70 years. I don’t know about you, but that’s too long. I’m all about that tomorrow deliverance. Don’t faint on me, 2 Peter 3:8b says that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.
It is true that I should not rush the process that God takes me, the key is to trust God and not quit or hinder the process with my foolish pride, unbelief, sin-conscious, traditions of men, lifeless words or fear. If I hinder the process with what I said, then it’s my fault. Speaking of which, sin-conscious will not get the best of me, just because I made poor choices or allowed people to do things to me that I wasn’t aware of at the time does NOT change what God has promised for me. For I know healing belongs to me and I will be made whole.
And I would encourage you, give God something to work with (your faith in Him) and watch Him do something that won’t make sense to your senses (but it will be worth it and you’ll come out on top).
Can I just make one statement and ask why do people tell others they need to heal, but won’t seek healing for themselves? You have to believe that healing is for you too (and for everyone who needs it).
I believe I can stop here, but before I close this blogpost, I want to say this: In order to receive healing, you have to have faith. So, why does Paul say to fight the good fight of faith?
It’s a good fight because you win – provided you don’t lose heart. Because you’re technically not fighting the devil, the devil is after your faith.
Now let’s think about it, why is the devil after your faith? If he can steal your faith inChrist and in what He’s promised you, you will be a casualty and he can wreak havoc in your life. When your believing is off, your speaking will be off and eventually your life will be off. So stay in the fight no matter what. Stand your ground!

And any assignment that the devil has over your life that’s preventing you from walking in total wholeness, I cancel that in Jesus’ name! Healing is for you and me.
So, this is a #MayneMan declaration to you: I will not give up on you even though others will quit on you. I won't condemn you like those legalistic people who say you are beyond hope or you will always be condemned in their eyes. I believe in you, and you are worth fighting for. You can call me a gold-digger (one who digs deep into you to find the true gold that's in your heart and spirit so you can be all that God wants you to be.
I pray that after you read this blogpost, you can shout YES to the question “Will You Be Made Whole?”
Blessings,
The Mayne Man

Rejected & Offended

Last weekend, I was listening to a lesson entitled Overcoming Offenses, and it really made me think about some things, one being how we don’t confront those who actually offend us. But then there are times that people are offended when you actually don’t do anything wrong (a great example is that you have changed the course for your life and others don’t agree with it – as a result, they reject you and they’re offended because you decided to do something different with your life). Now I’d like to use the story of Jesus when He was in his hometown – this is after He grew up and was baptized into His ministry. So let’s just look at Mark 6:1-3 (and then we’ll talk a little bit more after):
Then He went out from there and came to His own country, and His disciples followed Him. And when the Sabbath had come, He began to teach in the synagogue. And many hearing Him were astonished, saying, “Where did this Man get these things? And what wisdom is this which is given to Him, that such mighty works are performed by His hands! Is this not the carpenter, the Son of Mary, and brother of James, Joses, Judas, and Simon? And are not His sisters here with us?” So they were offended at Him.
How many of you have ever experienced this (where people reject you and become offended because you’ve changed – or you’re not like you used to be when you were little)? I’ll use a little bit of my life. When I decided to follow Christ, my family was like, “you used to do this when you were little.” I laugh when I think about it because you have probably heard the phrase, “you never grow up to your parents.” Friends are no different (now this isn’t my life), they would say something, “you’re a sellout, I remember when you used to run around chasing after every girl, and you had a girl on your arms every time I see you. You used to smoke and drink on the corner, but you call yourself changed your ways.”
Now watch this, as we look at verses 4-6.
But Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own country, among his own relatives, and in his own house.” Now He could do no mighty work there, except that He laid His hands on a few sick people and healed them. And He marveled because of their unbelief. Then He went about the villages in a circuit, teaching.
What caused the people’s rejection of Jesus and them being offended at Him was because of first their unbelief. And second, they were plagued with that familiar spirit. A familiar spirit is when you’ve been around a person so long, the moment they changed, you don’t like it, and as a result, you reject that person (and are offended because they changed). It’s been said, if you become too familiar with someone, there’s a strong change that you’ll abuse him or her.
If you have ever been rejected and offended because you’ve changed and have decided to make a difference in this world (and going with Christ), don’t let people box you in to other people’s circle. Let them stay offended at you, and let them reject you. God has so much that He wants to do with you (and like Jesus, you may have to leave your hometown because they won’t believe it). Granted, those are the people that would say something like this “I’ll believe it when I see it.” Or they’ll say “he’ll be back to his old ways (or she’ll be back to her old ways), just watch. I’ll entice them back to their old ways.” My advice to that, get as far away from them as you can.
I pray this encourages you if this applies to you.
Blessings.
The Mayne Man

Take The Limits Off Of You And God

How many of you desire to live life with no limits? I have a better question, how many of you desire to let God take the limits that you've placed on your life? If you answered yes to both questions, then I ask you how bad do you want this? Now there's a strong chance that your flesh is screaming no, but your spirit is screaming YES! Turn off the no that's screaming at you. Your life depends on it. Before this starts, grab some tissue as you will experience some moments of sorrow as well as tears of joy. If you happen to cry as you read this, let the tears flow, and yes, I shed some tears as I was writing the outline for this as this post was given to me via His Spirit. Don't worry as to who sees you crying as you read this, your freedom is too important to worry about what others think about you. Once they see your freedom, they'll want a piece of it. Believe me on this. With that, let's get started.

You know, there are many people walking around with a skewed view of God and how He is a loving Father. How do I know? You're looking at someone who has struggled with it. Many of you know my story. But let me share a piece of it from a different perspective. I was sexually abused, but at the same time, I lived in fear as to how my parents treated me. It was either do what I say on my timetable, or fear the wrath of the belt, which I felt on numerous occasions. The truth is that parents are really supposed to paint a picture of who God really is. And if a child is scarred through a trauma, they will rightfully question when older, can I trust Him, because I surely can't trust my parents after all the abuse I suffered, their abandonment and their neglect. Eventually what happens is that we treat God based on how our parents treated us especially if trauma is involved. How do I know? There were areas I struggled with God over. Example, if I messed up with my parents, it was like I had to make so many amends for them to forgive me. Even though God forgives me when I confess our sin, I still wrestle with the concept of "I have to make amends." What hastens is that I just limited myself and what God can do.

What happens is that we end up creating boxes and walls within our lives as a form of protection. And let something traumatic happen when we think to let the wall down, the heart will become callous for some. What's even worse is that we put a wall up to protect ourselves from God. And He is much more compassionate than our biological parents. Of course, it's hard to fathom when we surely didn't see a good example. And the reason why we didn't see an example is because the devil is after us. He knows the gift that's ok each of us, and he's after that. With that wall comes the feeling of we have to carry our own burdens, when we are to cast it over to Him for He cares for us. The truth is, He knows what we're holding on to and He wants it so we can have this 150 pounds lifted off of us. Excess weight costs us our life in many cases. The same holds true when it comes to burdens and limits. It will weigh us down to the point we end up with psychosomatic illnesses and in some cases, eating disorders. Galatians 5:1 says for freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

You see, we can put up a facade with people and in some cases with our family, but you can't put one up with God. He sees all and knows all. No matter how hard you try to box God in, we can't. I don't know about you, but I love surprises and His surprises always give me more of a reason to not quit on Him. Take Him at His Word and please don't cast away your confidence. He is up to something, but the key is to not keep your wall up so you block His blessings, but also to not bring Him down to your level. He'll let us go on our own for a little while, but you will physically and possibly spiritually burn out. Yes, there will be people (in and out of the church) who will discredit you and say, "You can't do this!" Believe me, I lived it. He wants to work through you so He can get the credit while you are blessed. 
I do believe that our walls and our limits within ourselves and with Him really is a lack of trust. That doesn't mean we're going to hell, and it is true we may not have had good role models when we were kids. Now, it's time for a thought exchange and ask for a spiritual download from Him so we can dump our past thinking for a mindset like His. It's recorded in James that what is not of faith is sin. I didn't say that to condemn, but it's because of the fallen world we live in).
Earlier, I mentioned about the devil was after our gifts. Let me expound further, he really wants us dead in all areas. How? I'm glad you asked. He brought the trauma through our lives via childhood abuse, domestic abuse, emotionally abusive relationships, con men and con women, unexpected deaths, and the list goes on. All of these things can cause the limits to come. And yes, God understands; however, He wants it so He can free you up for an unexpected blessing.
Of course, I ask, where's the church in all of this? Well, sadly, many of them have the mentality of the AMCC (American Middle Class Church) where it's all about me, my family and my clique and everybody else can go to hell with our help. 
How can we get the limits off of you and your thoughts about God? Great question. I want you to survey your life and ask, "what stinks? What's dead in your life?" If Jesus can raise Lazarus from the dead, He can raise you up. Now, Lazarus was dead for four days, and it turned around. I declare that some of our dead situations will turn around. Can you declare that?
Get those Pharisees that say "you will never amount to anything, you'll never recover, you're the blame for all that happened to you" out of your life. 
Sometimes we don't appreciate our miracles when we're not involved. The scars that you have remind you of how bad it was so you can appreciate how good the miracle is.
At the end of Luke 7, people called the harlot out, probably saying, "look at that whore trying to get to Jesus." And Jesus had to tell them, "leave her alone." Jesus built her up and forgave her. And we in the church want to remember people's wrongs. 
I really want to close this on a positive note. The beauty of God is that He specializes in forgiving our screw-up, He specializes in restoring the years you lost, He specializes in drying the tears you cried because you struggled to put food on the table, you stepped out on faith to leave that mate who abused you, He specializes in giving you double for what you've endured. I know I did some things wrong in my life, but He's not done with me (and He'd not down with you either). Don't be afraid to take the limits off of yourself and off of what God can really do (and who He really is). In fact Psalm 27:10 says for my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in. This is so true.
Can I just say this? Sometimes when we put limits on ourselves, we tend to make mistakes like Abram & Hagar. Now, Ishmael was not a mistake, Abram & Sarai wanted to help God out and jump ahead of God's timetable. God promised Abram that he and Sarai we're going to have a child. He doesn't think like we think, so we have to wait on Him. That waiting period requires faith. 
Now many of you know me. I'm an accountant by profession and I'm always talking about working our day jobs like a Hebrew slave. If you think that's all there is to your life, you'll be working above and beyond just to only get 50% of your money. There's a proverb that says your gift will make room for you and bring you before the great. Once you operate in the gift God gave you, expect unexpected blessings that your day job can't even do for you. Another way to take the limits off of you and God.
Take a good look where you are, can you testify of what He's brought you out of? If you can't think of anything, you're still breathing especially when your life was threatened at one point in your life. When we take the limits off of God and His majesty, we need to posture ourselves for the unexpected to happen (and that's meant in a way that will bless your life tremendously). Regardless of what we've been through, our God can do things we haven't even imagined. He's the only one that can restore our broken soul (even though I write to right the broken soul - smile, He does a much better job than I can), and heal us from the inside out. We need to stop trying to figure Him out; He's unlimited.
Come on, I'm trying not to cry. He's not done with you, He's not done with me. He rescued me from many dangers and spared my life on many occasions. He's just getting started. I'm going to say it again, He specializes in restoration!
Blessings,
The Mayne Man

The Mayne Man Talks Grief

When I woke up this past Thursday morning, the word “grief” was heavy on spirit. I didn’t understand it initially until maybe 10 minutes after I woke up. I realized that I was grieving some things from my childhood, and as the day progressed, I thought about how many in life are grieving. One of my sister friends wrote a book called “Free To Grieve,” and when I read her book, it made me think about what was going through my mind when I lost my father in 2012. I’ll talk more about that in a moment, but right now, I just want to start slow before I really get into this post.
If you’re reading this post right now, ensure that you have some tissue. My post is not to make you cry, but if you do cry, I pray they are tears of freedom, and that you’re able to cry to get the pain, anxiety, fear and anything else that’s bottling you up inside out. As my day progressed, I thought about the many types of grief that are plaguing so many. They stem from death of a loved one, death of a relationship (whether a friendship/relationship), childhood trauma (abuse), loss of a job, loss of a home, things you did in the past that harmed you or harmed others, and there are more that I didn’t mention. For this blogpost, I really want to focus on the first two. Allow me a moment to share two stories within my life that touch on two types of grief that I faced. Some of you might be able to identify with this, and some of you may not be able to – and that’s fine. They say, everybody deals with grief different, and I’ll expose the truth: that is so true. I don’t want to jump too far ahead; I’ll come back to this point.
Let me deal with first with the death of a friendship/relationship as it relates to my life. Back in 2011, I was friends with someone and yes, there was a level of emotional intimacy with this friend. Don’t worry; there wasn’t any sexual contact with this friend (as I have been abstinent for near 30 years). But the way this friendship ended shook my world to the core. Two weeks before the end of October, I went to go visit her. And I would say that the trip was a roller-coaster ride. Thoughts of “I don’t want to leave her presence when she’s near me,” and “I know this friendship is going to end, it’s just a matter of how,” were roaming through my mind. When I flew back home, I struggled trying to cope with our friendship that was hanging in the balance. On the final day of October, I get a phone call from her saying, “just to let you know, the guy that I was telling you about, we decided to date and I wanted to ask if you were ok about it.” My thought was like, “what can I say? This is your choice and I have to be ok about it.” I was numb for a good month, and to add insult to injury, my sister was getting married in December. I wrote a suicide note (reference my blogpost When I Wanted to Die: http://mayneman.blogspot.com/2014/09/when-i-wanted-to-die-world-suicide.html) because I felt that there was no reason to live beyond this. I was angry, depressed, full of anxiety, and just wanted to let my life go.
I do want to throw this out there, the day after I got the phone call and I was grieving about the loss of my friendship/relationship, I got an e-mail from a friend saying she understood my situation, but her ex-boyfriend (whom she broke up with a week or two ago), shot himself just inches from his heart. If I wasn’t crying then, I was crying after I read that e-mail. In fact, I stopped grieving over my situation to tend to her situation. In fact, I wanted her to call so she could talk and so I could pray for him and her heart.
I said all of that to say this: this is just one symptom of how someone grieves a death of a relationship/friendship. Now, I’m not saying this is how everyone would grieve, but it all depends on the person (and how they cope with situations). There is no right or wrong way to grieve (I would advise that if you’re thinking about suicide, please seek help); the key here is that there is a grieving process. I have something to say how we treat people when they’re grieving later.
Within 2012, I would suffer another blow, the loss of my father. I want to talk about this in a different light so I can address a few things. My immediate family was with my father when he took his last breath. Many people misunderstand grieving in this sense. Everyone in my immediate family grieved differently (and some people have the expectation that we’re all to grieve differently). My sister’s grieving was different than mine; and my grieving is different from my mother’s grieving; my nephew’s grieving would be different from my grieving, my mother’s grieving and my sister’s grieving. Everyone shed tears (and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that), but I didn’t. Some may say that I was/am insensitive, and that couldn’t be further than the truth. I knew my father would want me to be strong (and knowing that he rarely showed his emotions), and I knew that I had to be strong for the remaining members of family; however, I almost broke down on two occasions: when my sister cried (as I hugged her) and hearing my nephew cry. Please don’t think that I was/am insensitive because I didn’t cry when my mother cried or when other’s cried for the loss of my father.
When it comes to grieving in this sense, everyone grieves differently. I may not be able to understand my mother’s grief, my sister’s grief or my nephew’s grief (just like they might not be able to understand mine). The key here is to be a listening ear when they need it. Our processes of grieving are going to be diametrically different and there’s nothing wrong with that either. My grieving actually comes in stages, and the things that I remember my father the most, are the times he would give me advice, the times I would watch him record a tape, and certain songs he would listen to and sing. Those are the moments I treasure with him and will always keep in my heart.


Sometimes when we grieve, we have a tendency to blame ourselves for the death of a loved one, the death of a relationship, or the pain of the abuse we suffered. The flipside could be that we blame others for them abandoning us. If you are going through either of these two, you need to grieve. If you don't, anger will resonate and can wreak havoc in your life and those around you. 
One friend said to me that for many people, they don’t allow themselves to grieve. Many places (to include faith communities) do a lot to comfort those who lose a loved one. But we forget about grieving over a job loss or change, a friend moves or you move, and a relationship breakup – people usually don’t grieve and heal from these correctly.
A high-school friend said to me that in this country, we don’t acknowledge hurt well. In fact, we’ve become so callous to the point where we say, “Get over it! Don’t cry! Suck it up! Don’t talk about it!” That’s what we tell others who are grieving and ourselves.
And I can’t let this slip especially as I speak heavily on childhood abuse and the many survivors who are grieving child sexual abuse. I (the Mayne Man) frown on everyone who tells a survivor to “forgive the abuser. You don’t need any counseling!” And we wonder why 1 out of 3 girls are abused and 1 out of 6 boys are abused?  For many people, my high-school friend said for those who have been abused, many don’t have a chance to form a healthy thought pattern (and I can testify to that for my life, and I know many others can testify to this as well). It wasn’t denial; there was no other way to think (and I would simply call it survival). Sometimes, it takes a major crisis in our lives for us to realize that we’ve been hurt and we need to grieve.
If you’ve known me long enough, I can’t really do a post without addressing the church. There are so many people saying they’re fine, when the truth is, their heart is bleeding or they’re grieving. And I would venture to share that the reason many don’t share is because we’re pointing a finger at them, and putting our expectations on them, which is truly not fair to them. In fact, when I was going through my suicide spell in 2011, there were times where I had to suffer in silence because I was getting from a lot of church people, “pray for yourself,” or “get over it!” Attitudes like this will cause a lot of people to grieve in silence and in some cases, suffer and grieve for the remainder of their life. I didn’t say that it was the only cause, but we need to have our ears open and without offering such a word that’s criticizing. And if you read the above paragraph, I always ask the church, who is interceding for those who are grieving?
It’s interesting that we quote Proverbs 18:21 that says death and life are in the power of the tongue. So, I ask (which I did in a blogpost) are your words killing others? If you want to read it, just click here -> http://mayneman.blogspot.com/2013/10/are-your-words-killing-others.html
Yes you’re speaking life to yourself, but can you speak life to someone who’s grieving? Speaking life to a grieving heart and spirit is not saying to them “you should be done grieving by now!” If you made that comment to someone who’s grieving, I ought to personally slap you for that comment! The length of time that a person grieves is not on our timetable. It’s on their timetable and if they have a personal relationship with God, it’s between them and God (end of discussion). And we need to stop placing our expectation on the length of time a person grieves on them. People need to grieve, and granted, when you go through something, you would want sympathy from them.
There was an article called Living Through Grief that I’d like to include in this post, because I believe this will touch a life or two. http://www1.cbn.com/living-through-grief
This article actually confirms a lot of what I’ve said above, but I’ll be honest, I was also convicted. This is the part within the article that convicted me (and I want to apologize if I ever said what was stated in the first sentence below to you): Well-meaning people may say, “Jesus took your loved one away,” but that can cause people – especially children – to be angry with God. 1 Corinthians 15:26 says that death is our last enemy. Therefore, we can say, “Death took our loved one away from us, but Jesus took our loved one away from death!”
I know this was a long post, but my heart has been heavy for those who are currently grieving. Know that I’m praying and interceding for you (not that your grief is over, but that you’re going through the process to heal for there are some who have thrown in the towel and ceased from grieving, while their heart is bleeding and they’re dead inside). I have faith that your grieving will end, but it will be on God’s timetable and not mine.
I ask you, if you’re currently grieving, if you can identify with this quote (I believe Johnny Depp said this): People cry. Not because they’re weak. It’s because they’ve been strong too long.
Regardless of who said this, if you were able to identify with that quote, I would ask that you take some time where it’s just you and God. Take all the anger you have inside, the pain you have inside, the shame you have inside and just let God hear you and your heart. And by the way, He already knows you’re carrying the burden of all of that. He wants you to cast it over to Him, so He can heal you. I still believe that healing is like an onion; the deeper you cut into it, the more your eyes water. Don’t be ashamed to cry to the Father (if this applies to you), He wants your tears.
In closing, I pray God’s mercy will rain over you and that He puts your heart back together as you’re going through the grieving process. I pray that you stay through the process and that you have people who will intercede for you, and will speak life to your heart and spirit as you're going through the process. And the truth is, the process is painful to you and those around you because so many emotions can erupt and can actually push people away as you're trying to get things out of your heart and spirit. I like to call this confessing your faults (with fault meaning that there's an imbalance in your mind, heart and spirit), and it's all about getting them in balance to where you are healed when the process is over. You might be wearing a smile to the world, but your heart is bleeding. You might be too strong to be weak, because of what you have faced in your life. I understand and I commend you for your strength. I also praise God that you’re still here to testify to the fact that you’re still alive after all you’ve endured. Let His love touch you in the places you know you’re hurt and the places you don’t know you’re hurt. Please don’t defy it. I care too much about you; however, He cares more about you than I do. So, despite how others treat you, be free to grieve!
Blessings,
The Mayne Man

Everybody's Free

I was struggling with a title for this blogpost, until the song by Rozalla called Everybody’s Free came to mind. For the benefit of those who don’t know, this song came out in 1992 (when the genre of “Rave” music was just getting started). And yes, I still love this song.
Anyway, I was thinking today about Passover (which actually starts the evening of April 22 for this year) and its origins. You’re probably wondering, “What does that have to do with the title of the blogpost?” Great question, but you’ll see as you keep reading.
Well, in Exodus 11, we find Moses receiving a word from the Lord about the tenth and final plague upon Pharaoh and upon Egypt. This was pretty gruesome and pretty saddening at the same time. What was to happen was that the first-born in the land of Egypt was going to die. So, in Exodus 12, the Passover lamb was sacrificed and the blood of the lamb was to be placed on the doorposts and above the doors. Everyone in Israel was to do this and during this time, they were to observe the feast of the unleavened bread and also get dressed and be ready to leave Egypt. The purpose for the blood on the doorposts was so death would not hit their houses when the Lord saw the blood on the doorposts. In other words, the Lord would pass over their houses. If you want to read this, just read Exodus 11-12. I can only imagine what Egypt felt as you read from verse 29 of Chapter 12. As a result of the death of the firstborns within Egypt, the children of Israel were forced out of Egypt.
Now some of you might be wondering, “Why did I bring this up?” Well, the blood of the lamb back then was pointing to the blood of Jesus who would shed His blood so we wouldn’t die if we embraced Him and His shed blood. Now, let’s think about this, when we don’t have the blood of Jesus over our houses, then that creates death of some sort (it may not be physically, but it will definitely be spiritual and probably a few others, such as mental or financial). As I was thinking about the importance of having a covering of Jesus’ blood over a household, there are many who are uncovered, which is not a good place to be. And I’d hate to be the bearer of bad news, but not too many churches understand the gravity of this.
Then I thought about the family structure and how the husband was to cover the family. If any of you have known me for a long time, I’m always asking questions to make you think. The question that was roaming through my mind was this, “Why do churches expect an unsaved husband who’s not even thinking about God to cover his spouse and family?” The truth is that he can’t cover his spouse and family because he hasn’t made Christ Lord and Savior. And that’s where this blogpost comes into play. If you’re reading this, please don’t spend a lot of time on the question that I just asked, because that’s minor in comparison to what I’m about to say.
You see, the body of Christ has spent a lot of time talking the talk, but has not walked the walk (lived it out). We have sadly subjected people to the Bible when they have volitionally made a choice not to believe in it. We need to just live the life, plain and simple!
Now, we have to remember that everybody is free to decide how he or she wants to live their life, and we are not to love them any less because of it. The beauty of God is that He gave us free will and He loves everybody. Just like freedom has a price, our choices in life have consequences. This was on my spirit today.
Blessings,

The Mayne Man