Marie Sexton's Blog, page 40

Join me…

I'm over at Xakara's LJ sharing 13 of my favorite Coda lines. Stop by and share yours!

Putting Out Fires available now!

A fun little Valentine's Day read featuring Matt and Jared. You can get it here. I hope you enjoy it.

Tattoo Winner

First of all, I have to say that judging this contest was much harder than I expected it to be! I loved seeing what you all came up with, and even more than that, I loved reading your explanations. It was so fun to see how much you all had thought about your entries. I truly wish I could award everybody who played along, because it was so much fun, but I think my publisher might be less than thrilled if I gave that many copies of it away.

Before I reveal the winner, let me just wax poetic (?) for a moment. There were so many great choices, and I debated showing them all. However, a couple of them were actually copyright protected, so I've decided to give you a sampling of the entries, and if your entry isn't included, I really hope you won't hold it against me! There were a LOT to choose from, and I loved every single one of them!

There were two themes that came up frequently: the tree of life, and the sun. The fact that so many of you went this route really says something about Jared's character, and I think they are both good choices. Here are a few of those entries (these particular ones are from Heather, Heather, Helena, Wendy and Angela, but there were some others that were absolutely gorgeous!):

Ella had this fabulous idea that the tattoo might be sun with a hole in the center, and that Matt might work through a few of his 'issues' while rimming Jared's tattoo. Phew! How hot is that? I definitely spent a while contemplating that scenario! Heather C also had some great information on Virgos, and I loved how well that sign really did fit Jared (and that you obviously checked his birthday, too!).

I was a bit surprised that only one person (Vladim) came up with the idea of using the Broncos, and the tatt he found is incredibly cool!

Other fun entries were these, sent by Theresa (Theresa, my husband LOVED yours – Jared's definition of a successful ride came from him), Jodie, Mariana and Anna (who remembered that Jared's compass points west).

There was also this entry by UKSandy, which I can't show here, due to the copyright issues, but go check it out, because it's very cool!

Okay. You're probably ready for me to shut up and tell you who won, right?

Although I loved so many of the ideas you all sent, in the end I decided that Jared's first true love was the Rocky Mountains, and so I've chosen this tattoo, sent in by Zandra, as the winner:

And how perfect is it that the model is bleeding?

Zandra, please email me at msexton.author@gmail.com and let me know which format you prefer. UKSandy, I'm also sending one to you, because I feel like such an ass for getting your entry confused! Tell me what format you prefer. I'll email the story to you both as soon as I can (probably later tonight).

Seriously, thank you all so much for indulging me, and I hope you had fun, even if you didn't win. Also, I'll say here what I said on Goodreads when we hunted for Jared – he lives in your head as well as mine, so if your Jared has a sunburst (or other) tattoo, I'll never try to tell you that you're wrong!

Why Short Stories Rock: A guest post by Brief Encounters Reviews

Why Short Stories Rock

Hi everyone, Jenre and Tam here. We are the new proprietors of Brief Encounters Reviews, which focuses on reviews of m/m short stories (less than 20K). While we both still enjoy longer novels and novellas in all m/m genres, there's something about the short story that is a bit like crack, or chocolate. Every now and then you find that perfect high, the perfect story, and it makes all the "okay" ones worthwhile. So we have come up with five reasons that short stories rock, and hope you will join us at the blog and check out some of our reviews. We love to get into discussions about the books so feel free to chime in any time.

Reason #1 – Time

Lord knows we've all got a million things going on in our lives. Kids, spouses, day jobs, friends, pets, errands, laundry, cooking, blogging, writing; most of us are tugged a million ways during the week, and often the weekend as well. A short story can be just the break you need. You can take 30 minutes on your lunch or before you turn out the light at night, and have a complete story experience. It can be frustrating to read a novel in 30 minute bits, sometimes not getting back to it until the next day when you've forgotten what you read two or three days ago. There's always room for a short story in your day.

Reason #2 – Old friends

We've all read that amazing novel where we just fell in love with the characters, where they feel like real people that we know personally. Later you think "I wonder if Joe and Bob ever got that dog that was mentioned in Chapter 12." "I wonder how those two alpha males in book Y would celebrate Valentine's Day?" Well, a revisit in a short story is a bit like receiving a quick e-mail from friends catching you up on their life and letting you know that all is well in their little corner of the literaturverse.

Reason #3 – Meeting new friends

This can work both ways, finding new characters that you want to read more about (often we've sought out the novel that characters in a short story starred in) or it can be a way of deciding if an author's style is really for you before plunking down $7 for a full-length novel. Do you like their voice? Do they write with a lot of humour? Do they use a tense or point of view that works for you, or one that makes you crazy? A short story can be the start of a wonderful romance, between you and the author or their characters.

Reason #4 – Finding new tropes

Maybe you think you hate friends-to-lovers or the geek/jock storylines; you're not sure about BDSM, and certainly are not into anything kinky like fisting or sounds; science fiction is a total turn-off in romance … you think. A short story can be a way to dip your toe in the water of themes that might normally scare you off if you haven't had the chance to experience them. Again, before buying an expensive novel, only to read it while covering your eyes and wincing, then kicking yourself for "wasting your money", you can have a little taste and decide if you want a bigger portion later.

Reason #5 – Meeting new friends redux

This time we mean real people, (we know, we know, authors think their characters are real). We have met so many great people who are as enthusiastic about short stories as we are, on-line and in real life. We know shorts aren't for everyone, some people do find them frustrating, and even we can find them so at times and end up whining about wanting MORE, but we've gotten to talk/meet with some wonderful authors and readers and have been able to share our passion for the short story along with them. (You can guess who's who.)

So there are some of our reasons why we love short stories at Brief Encounters. We hope you will stop by and hi. How do you feel about short stories?  Are you a fan, an anti-fan or meh about shorts? Just remember, good things often come in small packages.

The Man with the Mystery Tattoo

Before I give you the details about the title of this post, let me back up:

Putting Out Fires will be released on February 14th. Are you ready? Technically, there is another short story about Matt and Jared that comes between Promises and Putting Out Fires. It's The Promise, and it's available for free here. If you haven't read it already, I invite you to do so now.

Go ahead. I'll wait.

Now…

A few of my fabulous readers (you know who you are) asked recently if we were ever going to find out what Jared's tattoo is of. I have to say, this is a question I was secretly hoping somebody would ask! But the truth is, Jared's never let me get a real good look at it. I know it's on his back, between his shoulder blades. I think it's kind of round, but I could be wrong. Other than that, your guess is good as mine. So, your mission is to find Jared's tattoo. This could be an actual photo of somebody's tattoo, or (for those with artistic talent) you can send me a drawing (I'll give you a hint – it's definitely NOT the one illustrating this post!). You can either post it here in the comments, or you can send it to me directly at msexton.author@gmail.com. Two entries allowed per person. I might choose a winner, or if I can't pick one on my own, I might do it as a poll. I haven't quite decided yet. The winner(s) will receive a free copy of Putting Out Fires.

Right now, my plan is to take entires through Friday, February 11th and probably announce the winner on Sunday, February 13th. That could change if I receive too many and decide to resort to a poll (yes, I'm always this indecisive – now you know why it takes me so long to finish each new book).

Questions? Comments? Let me know. Otherwise…

Happy hunting!

Tiffany Reisz: Why Erotica?

My guest today is Tiffany Reisz. Tiffany is the author of Seven Day Loan , a het BDSM story that I hear is hot, hot, HOT!

Why erotica?  First of all, let's define erotica. It's easiest to define erotica by what it isn't. If a book has both a romance in it and graphic sex and you can take the graphic sex out and still have a love story, it's romance. The graphic sex doesn't make it erotica. If you write a book and it contains both romance and graphic sex and you take the romance out and still have your basic story, it's erotica. Erotica is about the sexual journey of a character. As the great Tina Turner said, "What's love got to do with it?" Nothing if it's erotica. In can include a love story, but it doesn't need it.

Sidebar: My business cards read, "It's not erotica until someone gets hurt."

So why write erotica? Because sex is awesome.  Truly unreservedly obnoxiously ridiculously gloriously wickedly awesome. Love requires patience, sacrifice, slogging through all the muck and mire of egos and money problems and child rearing and trips to the hospital.  Love isn't pretty.  But sex is hot and powerful and life-altering.  I've heard people refer to sex as the icing on the cake of love. I hate this analogy.  Icing is all sugar and ridiculously bad for you.  Sex isn't bad for you. People who have frequent sex live longer, they look younger, they are healthier.  Women who are frequently exposed to their male partner's semen actually have more stable moods and less incidence of depression (this is real phenomenon). A bad marriage can destroy a woman's self-esteem and sense of purpose and direction.  A great sex life can put her on the top of the world.

Let's talk about sex some more.  I'm fascinated by it. I like sex, I love sex, I have sex, I write about sex. And God knows, I sure talk about it all the damn time. I'm the bad relative you don't want hanging out with your kids.  I'll put in uncensored Eminem and the Beastie Boys in my car.  I'll swear in front of your kids and make dirty jokes.  I told my fourteen year old cousin this weekend, "Sex is awesome. Just don't do it in high school. But if you do, use birth control. Lots of it."  She said, "Wow, you're the only adult who ever told me sex was good."

Really?  I'm the only adult who has ever told a super smart beautiful young woman that sex was good?  That's troubling.  Sex IS good. Why is that a secret? Marriage is good too. Nobody hides that fact from kids. Nobody thinks that by telling a fourteen year old girl that marriage is good, that fourteen year old is going to run out and immediately get married. So why all the secrecy? Why all the shame? I want her to know sex is good so she'll know it's worth taking seriously, it's worth thinking about, it's worth doing right.

My first piece of writing I ever sold came out December 1st at www.eHarlequin.com.  It's a novella entitled Seven Day Loan.  The story is simple–a Dominant lends his submissive lover to a friend for a week. Since his wife's death, the friend has been a recluse in his home and the Dominant hopes his feisty little submissive will help the widowed friend with his grief. It's one week of pure sex between the widower and the submissive. Feelings do get involved but this is not a love story.  It's the story of a man who is healed by the power of sex, not the power of love.  Did I write this story to change hearts and lives? No. I wrote it to give my readers fantasy fodder so it would improve their sex lives.

I guess I really don't have one answer to the question of why write erotica?

Unless it's, you know, why not?

*****

Tiffany Reisz lives in Lexington, Kentucky with two roommates, two dogs, two cats, and one hedgehog which doesn't belong to anyone who lives in the house and no one is actually sure how he got there.  She graduated with a B.A. in English from Centre College in Danville, Kentucky and is making both her parents and her professors proud by writing erotica under her real name.  She has five piercings, one tattoo, and has been arrested twice.

When not under arrest, Tiffany enjoys Latin Dance, Latin Men, and Latin Verbs.  She dropped out of a conservative southern seminary in order to pursue her dream of becoming a smut peddler.  Johnny Depp's aunt was her fourth grade teacher.  There is little to nothing interesting about her.

If she couldn't write, she would die.

You can buy Seven Day Loan here . Leave a comment below for a chance to win an autographed 11×17 of the cover image.

An interview with Keta Diablo

My guest today is Keta Diablo. Keta is the author of a grand total of 18 books! We'll be giving one away at the end of the interview.

Hello Keta! First, I'll just be a lazy hostess and ask you to introduce yourself.

Hi Marie, thanks so much for hosting me today. I'm Keta Diablo, erotic romance and gay fiction writer. I live in the Midwest on six acres of beautiful woodland. When I'm not writing, I spend entirely too much time reading. In the summer months, I spend a lot of time outdoors in my flower garden. Oh, yes, I also frequent our local animal shelter and would love to bring all the abandoned and neglected fur creatures home if I could.

What do you think is the best thing about being a writer? What do you think is the worst thing about it?

The best thing about being a writer is the independence and freedom it offers. You work for yourself basically with no one standing over you cracking the whip. Of course, you have to be disciplined if you expect to make a living at writing. That means, put your butt in the chair every day and write.

The worst thing about being a writer is the solitary life you lead. Yes, you meet many great people online, but if you write for a living, it's just you and your laptop.

You seem to be part of a great many blogs, mailing lists and websites. How do you have time to do all of that, plus write as many books as you do?

It's called lack of sleep – lol. I do write for many blogs which means a bigger commitment of my time. Writing a book is only part of the equation. Once you type "the end" you can't afford to sit back and hope the millions of people in cyber space will buy it. They can't buy if they don't know about it. Marketing and promotion is a necessary evil for a writer. You've spent months agonizing over every word, but now it's time to let the world see what you've accomplished. And that means, spreading the word about your books. I limit myself to a certain amount of time every day to promote my books. The rest of the hours go to writing, eating and sleeping.

What's your favorite holiday?

Christmas because I'm forced to slow down and devote time to the world around me. It means I also get to spend time with my family and children. I've become rather lazy when it comes to shopping. I used to go to the malls to buy Christmas gifts, but now I shop almost exclusively online. Christmas has always been sort of a magical time for me. If only we could bottle that magic and spread it throughout the year.

What's your favorite food?

That's an easy question for me. I love everything Italian, particularly the pasta dishes and pizza. I also adore my coffee, and wonder if it could even function without it. If taken away, I'd probably have major withdrawal issues.

Favorite ice cream flavor?

I seldom eat ice cream, but once in a while on a hot, summer day, I might eat an ice cream cone. I always select maple nut or guess what? A coffee-flavored ice-cream.

Turkey, ham or roast beef?

Definitely roast beef. I've never been fond of ham, and eat turkey only occasionally.

Dogs or cats?

Oh, this is a hard choice. I love animals, all animals. They're loyal and oh so loveable. Two years ago I adopted Emma LaPounce from our local shelter. She had been abandoned by her previous owners when they moved out of town. She'd been at the shelter for a long time, so when I heard they were going to put her down soon, I adopted her. She's really a lovely cat who has adjusted well to her new environment. She must be appreciative because she's always by my side.

Coffee or tea?

See above – lol. I  love my coffee. I don't know why, but it seems most writers love coffee. I see this love affair mentioned all the time on twitter and other social networking sites.

Where did you go for your all-time favorite vacation?

I like to vacation in Vegas. Something about the bright night life and the lack of a schedule calls to me. Now, if I could only figure out a way to leave my laptop at home, this would be the ideal vacation.

Where would you go for your next vacation if money and time were no issue?

Someplace . . . no, make that anyplace warm. We have a lot of cold weather and snow here in the Midwest. The older I get, the more I realize I'd like to be a snowbird – a person who spends the winter months in a warm climate but returns home in the summer months. Perhaps one day, I'll take the plunge.

Where do you hope to be ten years from now?

Alive and kicking. Seriously, since we all have an expiration date, I like to imagine mine won't run out too soon. I imagine in ten years I'll still be writing and agonizing over those words we talked about above. So I'm not disappointed, I keep my expectations low when it comes to my writing. I don't aspire to be in the big leagues, but rather just write the best book I possibly can and hope people like it.

My latest paranormal, Where The Rain Is Made, was recently nominated by Authors After Dark for a BOOKIE AWARD in he best e-novel category. This is an enormous honor for me even if I don't win. I guess it establishes me as an author.

You can find more about Where the Rain is Made here.

I also write gay fiction. Here's a little about my latest release, Long, Hard Ride.

Civil War divides a Nation. Grayson Drake has been sent by a covert spy agency from the South to break Marx Wellbourne out of a Union prison. Ordered to return Wellbourne to Richmond, 400 miles away, Gray soon discovers Marx is courting death from malaria and pneumonia. To complicate matters, the sinfully gorgeous Wellbourne is none other than the same man he coveted from afar four years ago in Charleston.

Pursued by the villainous warden of the prison, Major Darkmore, nothing is as it seems when intrigue, suspense and passion collide on the long, hard ride back to Richmond.

You can find more about Long, Hard Ride here. We're also giving a copy away today. Leave a comment below, and Marie will select a winner on Saturday.

Thanks so much for hosting me today, Marie! The questions were fun!

Thanks for taking the time to visit!

You can find Keta on the Net at the following places:

Keta's Keep, erotic romance blog

Keta's Haunt, author home

Keta on Twitter

The Crazy Tree, Redux: A Guest Post by Mary Calmes

Having a book published is the most amazing and terrifying thing, apart from childbirth, that has ever happened to me. It is also somewhat similar. You have labored, you have given life and voila, your creation is now ready to journey fourth out into the world. And the fear of this, the world's judgment, is the first rung of the climb to the tree house in the Crazy Tree. There has to be a tree house, otherwise where would the TV and the DVD player go and the Supernatural posters, the mini-fridge and the People magazines? The Crazy Tree also has wicker furniture that makes that creaky noise when you sit in it. Ah  yes, there have been many hours to fully realize the inside of the Crazy Tree tree house.

Amy Lane is adorable (see The Crazy Tree, Part 1, if you missed it) but she left out the first part of the process. Before you can make the climb up into the Crazy Tree in preparation of your book's release, you would have been up and down the wooden ladder several other times.

The first time you make the trip up is when you submit your story for consideration to your publisher. Because the second you hit the send button you think, why in God's name did I do that? It sucks and I sent it in? It wasn't ready was it? Did I put it through spell check? Were there to many fragments? Did I catch all the consistency errors? How many dialogue-tags are too many? Did I put it through print-preview and check the chapters to make sure there weren't two chapter tens? Were the margins right? Did I space it 1.5? What about when I realized that Mason and Michael and Mark were too many M's in one book? Did I remember to change all the Miguel's to Finn's and all the Mark's to Peter? I mean I wanted a Biblical name so that's why Mark went to Peter or… Luke! Well crap, Luke is way better than Peter but I can change it again on the first edit if it gets accepted. But why will it even be accepted since it sucks so bad?

There is usually frantic checking at the same time that the ladder up is being scaled. Normally it is at this moment that my husband has a question about something inane like when he and my children will ever be seeing food. Am I thinking about dinner? Has dinner entered my consciousness at…all…

"I'm trying to send this! Don't talk to me!"

I'm like Diane Wiest's character Helen Sinclair in Bullets Over Broadway. "No, no, don't speak. Don't speak."

My kids are both still in elementary school but they know the frenzied look of "Ohmygod what have I done?" And steer clear of me. They usually suggest McDonald's at that point.

My husband will look at me, gesture at the computer and tell me to email Amy because he so doesn't know what to say.

Frantically I e-mail her, sitting with my knees figuratively drawn up to my chest, rocking back and forth.

"It sucks, it'll never be published."

"Because you suck right?" She will respond and yes, I've heard it said before and I fully agree that there should be a "sarcastic" font. But I can hear the tone in her voice all the way from California to Hawaii clear as day even though I'm just reading it. She loves me and she wants me to believe in myself. And I know this of course, the love part. "Stop channeling the Chihuahua and talk to me."

The Chihuahua way of thinking about one's own writing that Amy coined is that "I'm no good- no one will read it- I suck…yip-yip-yip!"

It happens because of reader-response criticism. When I was in college I discovered reader-response. Basically it's your opinion backed up by facts from the piece of literature and if you can make a convincing enough argument, then you're right. Like I convinced Dr. Smith, my Shakespeare professor in college that Kent and Cordelia were actually way more than friends in King Lear by turning things around that they said. He didn't like it but he had to deal with it because I used evidence from the text. This was my first foray into things being subjective. So, (here it comes, the point), people can and will draw the inferences they want. This brings me to the second time you go up into the crazy tree.

Your editor looks at what you've written and says "Wow, did you really mean for this guy to come off like a psychotic rapist?" Well uhm, no actually. I was looking for more a Yaoi style hero and that the guy being dominated would forgive the guy doing the dominating at the end because he knows that the brutality is really just love.

Uh-huh.

But the fact of the matter is that you need to make your hero not do anything that he cannot be forgiven for later. And even if he's a good guy in your head, how he is on the page is how readers will know him. So back up in the crazy tree you go because now you have to rewrite and how can you when your heart and soul is down on the page already.

"How can I fix it if I don't know how?"

"Your words are not carved in stone," Amy points out in her wise-Yoda-like way. "Just fix it and don't repeat the same thought over and over, you do that a lot."

"Now you tell me this?!"

"I didn't want to be a nag." I can see her smiling from here.

So there are multiple trips up and down from the Crazy Tree and when finally, the thing is going to be released, dear God in Heaven it's a wonder that the hyperventilating doesn't make you pass right out.

So I sit and wait and try to walk around with a semblance of dignity and hope that someone rates it on Good Reads so I can gauge the likeability factor. And the ratings range from 5's to 1's because it's subjective. And you want to say, but see he's a good guy! And your editor's going, uh-huh, told you, and so you sit up in the Crazy Tree ruminating on your life until your hear your friend call to you.

"Get your ass down out of that tree! I just submitted Living Promises and why the hell did I do that because it wasn't ready? It totally sucked and I think I forgot to change the last name of one of the characters from Jones to Everett."

"I'm sure you got them all."

"Oh Goddess…."

So I have to make room in the tree. Lucky I got the double-pack of Oreos.

Mary Calmes' newest release, The Servant, is available now from Dreamspinner Press.

After saving his younger brother's child, Daemon Shar is cursed by a witch and runs far from home, a stray who will seemingly never be anything more. But destiny is hard to outrun, even for a man who is now more cat than man beneath his robes and cowl. A chance battlefield meeting between he and Ehron, a foreign lord, gives him purpose amidst the darkness of his accursed life. Soon Daemon finds that his true nature cannot be corrupted no matter the form he inhabits.

As Ehron's consul, Daemon plots and plans to shape his new lord's future so that he may leave it blessed when he runs away yet again. But he never counted on his soul hungering for Ehron's brother Gareth or for his past to catch him by the tail at last.

An Interview of Me!

The one and only Lynn Flewelling interviewed me today on her blog! Stop by and check it out here .

And because this post looks so darn short and sad, I think I'll add some candy. Specifically, Aden Jaric, because I'm pretty sure there's no post in the blogosphere that can't be improved by his luscious presence.

The Crazy Tree, Part 1: A Guest Post by Amy Lane

Lessee, lessee, do we have everything?  Case of Cherry Diet Coke?  Check.  Chocolate?  Check.  Socks to knit?  Check.  Supernatural D.V.D's?  Check, check, and check.  Good.  Good good good good.  Now, I just need my blankie, a pillow, and my teddy bear, and we're all up for a nice long stay in the crazy tree.  Excellent.  Let me pull my knees up to my chest and my blankie over my head, and…Aaaahhhhhh…

Awesome.  I'm all ready for my book release now!

So, Talker's Redemption came out on Wednesday, January 19th.  Whenever I have a new release, people always ask me, "Aren't you excited?"

Erm… sort of?

I mean, the pit of my stomach is a mess, and my chest is all cold and I've got this buzzing down my back from the bottom of my ass to the crown of my head and I find it hard to breathe.  So, well, I'm either excited, or having a panic attack—it's really sort of an either/or proposition.  And this, my friends, is why we have the Crazy Tree.

Now, the Crazy Tree is not necessarily a new idea—but Mary Calmes and myself have dedicated ourselves to perfecting the art of Hiding Out in the Crazy Tree.  We have a few phases of Crazy Tree occupation, and some tips for getting down, and I thought I'd share.

Oh God, oh God… I hear something.  Masses, coming with torches and pitchforks because I've profaned the art of fiction, maybe?  The thought police, coming to say that usually, they just overlook genre writers, but for ME, they'll make an exception?  A fan who really loved the first one but thought the sequel sucked!  WHERE'S MY OTHER BLANKIE!  There we go.  My blankie fort, my teddy bear, let me just rock back and forth and sing some random song, (in honor of Talker's Redemption, we'll make it Pearl Jam's "Jeremy") and we'll make it all go away.

Step One: Angst

Angst is usually self-generated, and it comes from conflicting sources.  For Talker's Redemption, I've got "sequel anxiety"—it's a sequel, everyone loved the first one, I'm afraid it won't live up.  For The Locker Room (coming in April) I've got "new character anxiety"—nobody has heard of these guys, I've done some stuff the same and some stuff different, and I'm afraid it won't live up.  For Hammer & Air I had "too much sex anxiety", for Bewitched by Bella's Brother I had "I don't usually do comedy anxiety", for Guarding the Vampire's Ghost I had "no one likes or cares bout the meta-story anxiety"—you name a release and there's a reason I've been absolutely sure people would hate it.

You take that one reason, your blankie, your teddy bear, and there you go—you've got your knapsack of comfort food (Mary Calmes sends me pb&j with the crust cut off, because otherwise my only food group would be oreos and McDonalds chocolate chip cookies)  and you've written you "I'm checking out for a while" letter to your family, and you've got one foot on the bottom rung up the tree-house ladder.  It's useless to try and stop it.  My family has gotten to the point where the teenagers are like, "What's up with mom?"

"What do you mean?"

"She's comatose in front of the computer, checking endlessly for some sort of change at goodreads.com."

"She's got a new release out—she's totally in the crazy tree."

"Is she going to be all right?  She keeps twitching!  I think she has to go to the bathroom!"

"Well, you know.  She'll go eventually.  I just hope she remembers to feed us.  It's been a whole hour!"

(They are teenagers.  They feed like locusts.)

Wait… wait… someone's calling my name!  It could be Mary, trying to talk me down… it could be the rabid voice of my conscience saying I should be a fry cook instead.  Let me just turn the volume up on Supernatural, and I'll try to drown it out.  Ohh… good.  It's the one where Dean's all sexy and Sam's all pouty.  I like this one.

Step Two: Over-reaction

Of course, someone is going to leave you feedback.  I usually deal with seeing my first review or my first rating in the following way.

"AAACCCKKKKK!!!!  RUN AWAY!"

("Where's mom going now?"  "I think she finally went to the bathroom.")

It doesn't matter whether it's a five star or a one star—I run screaming into never-never land just so I don't have to deal with it.  And there I am, having just frog-hopped up half a giant birch or sentinel oak, crouching in my self-made fort of anxiety and hyper-imagination.  Voila.  Crazy Tree achieved.  There I am, my whole kit out, swearing that I'm not cut out for this business and wondering if they'd still take me back at my college job of flipping burgers and asking "Would you like fries with that?"

Of course, the five-star review IS easier to come back and face, but even the one-star review must someday be read, and I could say that the Crazy Tree is an easy place to stay, but it's not.  Because, anxiety and over-reaction or no, the fact is, I actually labored over that piece of writing receiving feedback and… and… oh God.  I really need to look.  I mean… it's my baby, right?  And literary babies or real babies, we all know that even if they don't squish out that attractively, but there is something of beauty in all of them.  So we've got to see if the rest of the world sees it too.  It's a compulsion.  It's necessary.  I mean, with the real babies, you realize that they'll get prettier growing up.  With the literary babies, you hope you'll make the next one prettier when it comes out.  You're always striving to make a 'perfect' baby, right?  Well, the feedback, even the one-star feedback, helps with that.  So I need to look.  Because I really am too old to go back to McDonalds, even as a manager.

"Amy…"

Uh-oh… there's a voice penetrating the Supernatural video playing at top volume.

"Go away!"

"Amy!"

"Go away!"

"Amy, get your ass down here now!"

"Go away!  Talker 2 came out this week!"

"Yeah, yeah, and you've had your time up there, but it's over!"

"But… but…but…"

"But nothing!  The Servant came out this week too, did you forget that?  Now get your ass out of the Crazy Tree right the fuck now, because there's only room for one of us up there and IT'S MY TURN!"

* sniffle *  "Okay, Mary.  I guess you're right.  Fair's fair.  But, uhm, can I finish this episode first?

* sigh* "Look, just scoot over a little, will ya?  I like this one too.  But you gotta get out of here eventually—don't you have a WIP?"

"Yeah.  Living Promises is under construction.  It's shaping up nice…HEY!  I thought you said we could finish the episode!"

"Living Promises?  Get your ass out of the Crazy Tree, woman—you have work to do!"

"Yeah, I don't see you working on your next Warder story!"

"I don't care!   My turn in the Crazy Tree.  Move it!  And change out of those pajamas—they're getting rank!"

* grumbles*  "Yeah, yeah, everyone's a critic!"

Step Three: Getting Down

Getting down from the crazy tree really only involves three little words.

Work.  In.  Progress.

There's always another romance, another plot, another herd of plot-bunnies, humping away in your head.  They don't end, even when you're catatonic, spazzing out in the Crazy Tree.  You give yourself a little time to stress, and then call it a day.  You climb down, you sit yourself in front of your brain extension (mine's a Mac) and you type like your life depends on it.

I mean, the Crazy Tree is always in the backyard, right?  You can climb up any time.

"Mary! Mary? you hear me?"

"Go away!  It's the episode where Sam's pouty and Dean's sexy—I love this one!"

"People LOVE The Servant.  It's leaving Hammer & Air in the dust—come on down, my darling, it's all good, I swear."

"You promise?"

"I promise.  Besides—you only have so many pb&j's in there, and you know how much I hate to cook."

"Okay, but people better be nice to me when I get down."

"They will be, darling.  And if they're not, don't worry about it.  We'll kick 'em in the shins.  You don't watch all those episodes of Supernatural without learning how to kick a little ass, right?"

*sniffle*  "Right.  Right.  Okay.  I'm coming down."

"Awesome.  So what's that new Warder book called?"

And away we go.

I forgot to add: please leave a comment for a chance to win an ebook of Talker's Redemption. Also, be sure you check back on Sunday for The Crazy Tree, Part 2 by Mary Calmes.