Rosa Say's Blog: Managing with Aloha, page 21

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Hau‘oli Makahiki Hou Kākou — Happy New Year my friends!

There are many who choose a word, or a phrase, or a theme to succinctly describe their prediction or personal persuasion for the year to come. Well, if you’ve spent any time reading what I write, you know this about me: Try as I might, I’m not succinct. ‘Pithy’ is a pipe dream.

Gaining Energy from Kaona

I prefer to write to learn. To investigate. To discover in the process of doing.

So I’m usually adding and expanding instead, trying to articulate my version of some concept I have rooted in the kaona of my mana‘o. Truth is, I gain a lot of good energy from this balancing act between more words or less, and hope you do too: One of the things that intrigues me most about our cultural mo‘olelo is its’ kaona, reflecting in the Nānā i ke kumu connections: When and where did I, or we, come into this story, and take up the telling, or the living/ working/ managing/ leading of it? Why? What is my, or our, Language of Intention kēia lā — today?

Sidebar: The paragraph above is itself an example of kaona in language or chosen lexicon. Selected from our glossary and value statements:

— Kaona.   Hidden meaning, or concealed reference. Most commonly used in poetry and in language.

— Kēia lā.   Today. This is a phrase of opportunity, and full presence in the moment.

— Mana‘o.   One’s thoughts and beliefs that have become what is true for them, serving to empower them and give them certainty and conviction.

— Mo‘o ‘ōlelo.   Succession of talk; all stories of old Hawai‘i were oral and not written, and mo‘o ‘ōlelo describes how they were verbally composed, from person to person, and conversation to conversation. Mo‘ōlelo is the result: a story, tale, myth, history, tradition, literature, legend, journal, log, yarn, fable, essay, chronicle, record, article, minutes of a meeting.

— Nānā i ke kumu. Look to the source [to] Find your truth. Chapter 17 of Managing with Aloha, which also covers Sense of Place.

The certainty that Kaona exists to be reckoned with, is one of the reasons I love the linking conventions of the blogging platform so much: I can link back to a previous conversation for us, and weave it in rather than repeat it. Such a cool thing in our technology today, that you can hover over a link, see a title or message like this one, and decide if you need to backtrack or not, deciding for yourself in your Mana‘o! But I digress, sorry.

Now what? What’s next?

As we reflect on those questions — When and where did we come into this story, and take up the telling of it? Why? What is our Language of Intention kēia lā? — New Years Day arrives, whether we are ready for it or not, and adds another question — Now what? And another… Are we ready for whatever comes next?

Next is a word that has pervaded my consciousness the past few weeks, refusing to be ignored. Seems to me that ‘next’ is to be my word for the year, and I might as well accept it with all the grace, intuitive wisdom and good intention I can gather and weave in. As I write this post, I’m just starting to get used to this idea of next-ness for me, immersing within it so I can sort it out, and wear my choices well — so I can emerge from the batching I had already done for the holidays, and emerge from them ready to tackle what’s next.

Next.

For a single-syllable, 4-letter, smallish looking word, ‘next’ packs a punch, doesn’t it?

‘Next’ isn’t likely to provide you with an answer; it’s more likely to ask more questions, reminding you to ho‘o — to get on with it, and make something happen. To have good impatience, and to convince yourself you’re ready, even if you aren’t. If there’s a ‘next’ prompting that’s bugging you, and questioning you, then it’s likely you’re ready enough.

In my own immersion thinking about this, I have much admiration for “the ethical, sweet-natured, hard-working, thrifty, and public-spirited Millennials” — Joshua Glenn’s description of those born from 1984-1993, and my childrens’ generation. As they enter their 30s, we are starting to see, and benefit from their art, their creativity, and their entrepreneurial work ethic, and what we largely see, is that they are true ‘nexters’ in imagining, and then setting about to create our world’s newness. They get it done, and they welcome us to enjoy the fruits of their labor. (Would you like some examples? Glenn has a bountiful listing here: Social Darwikians: 1983-92.)

From our family album when my own Social Darwikians were young: Laughing, they climbed up onto our car hood while their dad was washing it, fully knowing what would come next, and jubilantly embracing every moment of it.

Be a Nexter.

Imagine your own possibilities. Your age does not matter.

If the New Year compels you to reflect on resolutions, I encourage you to go for your Next within whatever listing you come up with. Imagine your own nexting possibilities (we have referred to it here at MWA Central as our attitude of positive expectancy) and manifest them. Get them done one by one, constantly moving on to your next expression  of living out loud, and with joy.

Our resolutions are often about what we resolve not to do, and while that can certainly work for you, push through those won’t do thoughts and into your will do possibilities. Focus on what’s next for you instead, for life is rich, and waits for you to discover all of it.

“You don’t have to be a believer to recognize a moment of grace. By grace I mean those precious, rare times when exactly what you were expecting gives way to something utterly different, when patterns of thought and behavior we have grown accustomed to and at times despaired of, suddenly cede to something new and marvelous.”

— Andrew Sullivan, in a beautiful essay on the cultural meaning of Pope Francis: Untier of Knots, The Dish

“Invent, grow, and build stuff. Hack, modify, and fix stuff. Get mobile. Plug into the world. Seize control of your time. Study history, in order to see that the stuff we consider natural, permanent, and inevitable is none of those things.” — Joshua Glenn

Let’s sum up by going back to our good questions, and restate them as our 2014 Affirmation in Next: We’re in this story, and we’ll happily take up the telling of it. We’re ready, for we are living, working, managing, and leading with Aloha.

This will be a very good year. Thank you for being here in our Ho‘ohana Story.

— Rosa

Milepost markers, with still-relevant coaching for us:

January 2013: Going Forward into 2013, with Aloha. Our 19 values, from “Aloha ~ In Grace and Kindness” to “Ka lā hiki ola ~ Back to the Beginning is Opportunity.” There are several nexting triggers still waiting here for me!
Mid-year: July 1 = 6 Months of Value Immersion. “Goals change. Values are forever.”

Postscript: As promised, my next Ke Ola article is up on RosaSay.com today as well — here is a quick link: The value of Ho‘okipa. The reference posting, archived with links to my previous articles, is this one: The 19 Values of Aloha ~ continuously learned and shared.

I wish you Christmas Moments

Mele Kalikimaka, a very Merry Christmas to you today.

There is a quiet, me-time moment I cherish greatly each Christmas Day, one which fills me with wonder and a uniquely recurring faith. Over the years, I have come to know that it is in this moment I will again understand the power and strength of belief.

It happens early morning when I first wake up. It is always early, as if I were still a child, wondering if I can leave my bedroom and enter our parlor yet, and not hear one of my parents say, “Not yet Liann (my childhood name). Go back to bed.”

I lie very still with the immediate knowing of what day it is, and what had happened in a peaceful, starlight-filled stable so long ago. During that moment, I say a silent prayer which both humbles me and fires me up with an energizing vitality.

It is Christmas morning, and to wake with the trusting certainty that the day ahead will be joyful warms me thoroughly no matter how chilly it might be.

It is Christmas morning, and I remind myself that the plentiful possibility I have ahead of me is the true gift we all get today. They are life-living freedoms.

It is Christmas morning, and I smile. I jump out of bed to get the day started (I really do; I jump!) relishing every expectation I have. I imagine feeling this swelling capacity in my being, fiber by fiber.

It is Christmas morning, and I’m giddy, barely containing laughter now. I am remembering other Christmas mornings in years past, many of them, magic ones, when I believed in Santa Claus.

Back then, I had often wondered why the Baby Jesus didn’t have a Christmas tree there in the nativity stable, at least not in any of the pictures I saw. I remember my dad trying to explain to me that what He did have, was grace. It was okay that he didn’t have a tree.

So in my Christmas morning moment now, I always pray for grace. I believe my grace is possible too, there with all the other wondrous possibilities we get today.

It happens in my Christmas morning moment, all of it. And again, I believe. Knowing why is not necessary; I just believe.

Mahalo nui

I am so thankful for you, and that you spend your time with me here in our Managing with Aloha places as you do. I hope the magic of your Christmas morning moment is something you will also feel in your own way, feeling the happy bliss of it over and over again each passing minute of this special day. I hope it bathes you in blessings and continually delights you in its wonder.

Believe the possibilities are there, for they are.

Believe in your grace, for you have it too.

Believe, and give yourself every single gift you will need today.

Postscript: As I Nānā i ke kumu, and look to my source, I know that the writing of this was greatly influenced by our Twelve Aloha Virtues, for I always think of them in these weeks surrounding Christmastime.

Here is our bookmark link if you would like to reflect on them too: They are the virtues of Hope, Freedom, Humor, Prayer, Vitality, Wonder, Trust, Faith, Grace, Gratitude, Joy, and Peace.

On Christmas, You’ll be at Work

This was originally published on Christmas Day of 2008, appearing on Say “Alaka‘i,” the weekly business column I had then written for the Honolulu Advertiser, (thus the Hawai‘i community references) with the title, It’s Christmas, and You’re at Work. My appreciation for those who work the holidays has grown immensely since that time, for each year my empathy grows; not in the “been there, done that” sense I mention here, but for what Christmas Day can mean when you are with your family, and you celebrate in concert with the rest of the world. Therefore, I have added a new postscript at the end for bosses.

On Christmas, You’ll be at Work

Growing up, my brothers, sister and I were very lucky during most major holidays like Christmas; though our parents both had full time jobs (and sometimes three between them), they had holidays off in the industries which employed them.

It wasn’t to be that way for my two kids. I chose the hotel business for most of my working career, and so did my husband, and for us, holidays and weekends were just another working day. Christmas wasn’t necessarily the 25th of December until I became self-employed, it was whatever day proved most convenient within the week, ‘convenient’ meaning we were all home at the same time to open the gifts we gave each other without rushing through it, torn wrappings scattered around us in some frenzy.

If you are working today, feeling like everyone else is sitting under the family tree without you, I know your pain. Been there, done that. In fact, much as I hate to admit it now, I was lousy at it for way too many years. I grumbled, I whined, I moaned and complained, and I believed that working on Christmas was just plain wrong, and thus I’d been wronged. I got a big fat zero out of it, going through the motions of whatever I was expected to do, until I finally realized my problem — me.

You see Christmas is not “just another day.”� It can be whatever you want it to be, even though you may have to be at work. The trick with making the most of it, is Ho‘ohana, and to be “at work”� versus simply stuck “at a workplace.”� Big difference.

Have today be the day you work on those things you happen to do best while at work, knowing that you are the best at doing them. To be sure, fulfill those responsibilities you fully realize you have (your Kuleana; you know why someone feels you have to be there), but fulfill them in the way that amounts to you being a certain kind of confident, happy, and unselfish gift-giver. Give the rest of the world the best of you and who you are.

There may be some of you reading this who are thinking, “Easy for her to say; the woman always says there’s a bright side to everything.”� Yeah, I’ve heard that before, and yeah, you’re right, I do always say that — now,  and I’m proud of it. It took me awhile, and I’m not regressing now! I’ve learned that you just can’t BE positive by merit of some instantly inspired decision; you have to choose to work at it. You’ve got to move through it, loving the working, the managing and the leading. It’s called self-management, and self-leadership. You have to choose to practice having a good attitude no matter what cards you’re dealt, using every ounce of good within you, and you have to want to be a workplace star — and a happy person.

And one more thing: None of us have the right to take out our grumblings about anything on other people. Not on the holidays, when so many have such huge expectations, hoping they get fulfilled miraculously, and not ever. Not on any day. People deserve better from us, their fellow human beings, especially because we’re always capable of better, marvelous creatures that we are. I believe that is the gift we were given on the very first Christmas Day: Profound ability, capacity, and creative possibility is our gift. The positive expectancy of us by others is both our challenge and our obligation to fulfill.

So if you have to work today, I’m not going to say I feel sorry for you. I’m not going to apologize for someone else having scheduled you, and I’m not going to listen to any of your grumbling ~ be forewarned: I will instantly delete any whiny comment today!

A rising tide lifts all boats.

I expect you to dazzle me and be the star you are meant to be. I know you have it in you, and I want to see it, hear it, feel it, and I will applaud you. I’ll applaud you even though I probably won’t have to: If you pull it off, like I finally did one golden year I kicked my own butt and changed my attitude (because most managers were way too soft on me), you’ll feel so good, so right, so whole, so filled with your own Aloha Spirit that my applause will just be icing on your own well-baked cake.

If by chance I do visit you today, I promise you I will be a good customer, good guest, good visitor, and happy person too. Smile at everyone you see, greet them. Get them to smile back and greet you too because they just can’t help themselves, and they can’t ignore you or take you for granted, you are so wonderfully THERE for them.

It takes two of us, it takes all of us to make our Hawai‘i nei the land of Aloha we say it is. To feel Aloha from each other, we each have to be absolutely obsessed with giving it, and giving it in those biggest bummers of circumstances.

Thank you for working for our Hawai‘i community today. I mean it: Sincerely, genuinely, mahalo nui loa. It takes a lot of good work for our society to function as it does, all kinds of important work, work that just can’t stop, or shouldn’t, and work that can shine in the bliss of the holidays.

Mahalo for all you do, and who you are, and Mele Kalikimaka, a very merry and magically miraculous Christmas. I pray that blessings rain down upon you the whole day through, just as Christmas Day should be.

A postscript for the independent worker:

If your work is normally done solo or independently, or you are tied to a desk, cubicle or workstation of some sort, please do whatever you can to not be alone too much of today.

Choose to make your Christmas Day jubilant. If you have a choice in the work you do, choosing how you get it done, seek to serve and give the talented and joyful you, given while in the company of other people. Take those breaks which are coming to you by starting some fun conversations, have your lunch or dinner break with other people, and every so often, get on the phone and call someone you care about to wish them a Merry Christmas. Choose to do the work which connects you with others so you can share in each other’s day, and be each other’s gift.

Related Reading in the Archives: People who do Good Work

A postscript for bosses:

The holidays, both day of, and every planning day leading up to them, is an opportunity for Alaka‘i Managers to shine, and to be Alaka‘i, leading by merit of their good example.

I had written the posting above for the worker’s point of view, knowing that you’re a worker too, likely with another boss of your own, and needing to take the viewpoint of Aloha to heart. What I also urge you to do, is to take a moment to truly understand what having to work today can mean to your ‘Ohana in Business: Think about what they give up to be in your workplace, and work with you as your best partner. Allow those thoughts to soften your heart, but at the same time, resolve to be the best possible boss today, and not shy away from whatever that takes.

Leave ‘the work’ of your industry to others today (those partners you employ), being sure you’ve scheduled amply enough to cover it and prevent unnecessary stress. And then, do nothing on these holidays but manage well: Be the energy bunny and good mood presence that great managemeant is all about. No paperwork, office work, or administrative work that can wait for another day. No strategic work that is future-forward in thinking either: Be completely present instead, as a presence that matters. Keep great promises as the work of your day. Be with your people in all they do, and keep tabs on the ebb and flow of your business levels, so you can release them to celebrate the day with their family and friends as soon as you are able to. Be with your customers, visitors, and guests, and infect them with your Aloha Spirit so theirs will also bubble to the surface, and wash over your workplace with joy. You are so, so important today.

Managers Make Promises They Can Keep

I’m not a fan of most reality shows, but one I do enjoy watching is The Voice, NBC’s effort to reinvent Fox’s American Idol. A significant part of NBC’s reinvention is giving the audience an amusing view of the playful yet highly competitive relationship between celebrity coaches, and a fairly intimate look at the relationships which unfold between the singing contestants and the celebrity judge who is coaching them.

The Voice follows the weekly elimination format now familiar to television audiences, to ultimately crown a seasonal winner, and those eliminations can be emotional. On one of this season’s episodes, both camera and audio zoomed in on investigative alert as an eliminated contestant welcomed his coach’s consoling hug. We could hear his coach say, “This doesn’t end here; you’ll be part of my life forever.”

Whoa. Quite a promise to make!

It got me thinking about the promises we as managers make to the people we will coach, and about how careful we must be in making those promises. I know that I could never make a ‘forever’ promise to anyone, with the possible exception of forever loving my two children and their father.

A promise is not a bad thing; I’m not advising you to stay away from making them altogether. I’m advocating Mālama-valued care and Kuleana-valued accountability when you make them, with full intentions of upholding a promise made as the special commitment it is.

Upholding a promise takes a lot of work, and you’ve got to be willing to do that work, no matter what. Upholding a promise takes memory, and you’ve got to prepare for constancy, and for longevity. Upholding a promise takes unselfish compassion, and you’ve got to be ready for the rejection when the person you’ve made your promise to simply wants to be left alone ‘this time.’

Kinda heavy? Yeah, it is.

The Manager’s Oath

Yet promises come in different shapes and sizes, don’t they. Promises are made in context, and the person making his or her promise is wise to frame it well, opting for best timing, while being sensitive to caveats which seem to negate their good intentions.

The case can be well made for promises which are wonderful to make, and magnificent in their keeping, for they mark significant beginnings where, “The best is yet to come.”

Management is one of those cases, as managing meant.

A promise helps make management a partnership rather than a directive.

Here is a sampling of promises every Alaka‘i Manager can challenge themselves to make. Collectively, I think of them as a manager’s oath, and a manager’s growth.

I promise to be clear, and to tell the truth, even when it is difficult to do so.
I promise to listen to you with positive expectancy, even when you’re feeling negative.
I promise to be your coach, and to be your partner. I promise to be a good boss.
I promise to provide you with the resources you need from me, and help you find others.
I promise to make work safe for you, both physically and emotionally.
I promise to learn with you, and innovate with you, keeping our work interesting, joyful and worthwhile.
I promise to converse with you regularly, and help you find growth in our partnership.
I promise to answer your concerns, and to follow up when I say I will. I promise to keep my word.
I promise to believe in you, and be your mentor and champion even when you don’t believe in yourself.
I promise I will question you when I should be smart enough, and brave enough to do so.
I promise I will challenge you to be better, and to fill your capacities, helping you banish boredom and complacency, replacing them with curiosity and wonder.
I promise I will constantly encourage you, talking you through your mistakes, and helping you ‘fail forward’ whenever setbacks happen.
I promise I will never take you for granted.
I promise to be trustworthy, so you always feel free to confide in me.
I promise to behave well, aspiring to be the person you can admire and look up to.

The kaona of Ho‘ohiki:

Hiki means ‘Can do.’ Ability is present, and it awaits intention and/or opportunity.

To Ho‘o is to ‘Make happen.’

Thus Ho‘ohiki is to deliver, and to deliver fully.

— On Ho‘ohiki: Keeping your promises

What other promises would you add to a manager’s oath?

It very well may be that coach on The Voice did not make that promise lightly, but with full intention, commitment, and sweet anticipation for the relationship promising to unfold. I hope so. The Voice does seem to have those prospects for magnificent mentoring, where a seasoned celebrity can teach, support, and continually encourage a new artist — prospects as held by every workplace, and every boss / manager / employee / partner relationship within it.

And you, as an Alaka‘i Manager?

Alaka‘i — you can lead the way by merit of your initiative and good example. Be courageous in your working partnerships. Lead with your initiative, in making the promises of A Manager’s Oath, weaving them into your Ho‘ohana. Lead with your good example, by demonstrating how good promises play out in healthy workplaces. No one will expect this complete oath from you overnight, and we know the role of the manager may need reconstruction. Be patient, and grow into each promise, enjoying the partnerships which result for you.

An excerpt from — A Manager’s Calling, the The 10 Beliefs of Great Managers:

2. Great managers believe they do not work ON or FOR their people, they work WITH them as peers; they enable and empower them.

7. Great managers believe the people they manage are more than capable of creating a better future, and will when given that chance. They hold great faith and trust in the four-fold human capacities of physical ability, intellect, emotion, and spirit.

9. Great managers believe it’s their job to remove barriers, obstacles, and excuses, so people can attain the level of greatness they are destined for. They believe that “I can’t” is a temporary state of affairs, and they’ll be intent on flushing out the “won’t” within that “can’t.”

10. Great managers believe that their own legacy will be in the other people they have helped achieve worthwhile and meaningful goals. They believe their personal success is measured in those people who thrive and prosper within their care.

Read all 10: A Manager’s Calling, the The 10 Beliefs of Great Managers

Holiday Zing-ing, inspired by Kūlia i ka nu‘u

I was very cheered by this message, emailed in response to my last post (Just 5 Over the Holidays, 2013)

“Rosa, one of the most useful things I’ve learned from your Managing with Aloha blog over the past year, is from your coaching on ‘verbing’ and attaching that ‘ing’ to our words of intent so that our intention becomes our active work in progress. It’s attentive, but also forgiving, allowing yourself to still be in the process of doing something, and learning it better as you do it, and I’m one of those people who must learn to be more present in the here and now, so ‘ing’ing everything helps me!

You mentioned using categories in the post, and while I’m still wrestling with my batch, I wanted to share my categories with you: I’m using your 5 favorites of living, working, managing, leading, and speaking — all with Aloha.”

— Robert

Mahalo nui for your sharing Robert, I am so pleased to know our MWA verbing has worked for you! And you are right — those 5 ing verbs are indeed my favorites.

You have also given me a pleasant morning of looking back at how they became so pervasive, and so wonderfully reliable for me and my workplace teams.

Reward of the Striving

Those 5 ‘ing’ing faves started with 4, and with one value in particular: Kūlia i ka nu‘u.

Kūlia i ka nu‘u is the value of accomplishment and achievement. The literal translation for Kūlia i ka nu‘u is “strive to reach the summit.” Those who have this value continually pursue improvement and personal excellence. For them, the most satisfying competition is with their previous selves: They consider their life and everything within it to be a work in progress, and they enjoy the effort. ‘Hard work’ is good work when it employs the energies of striving and reaching higher.

We also talked about the visual nature of managers last post, and the best way for me to visualize Kūlia i ka nu‘u has always been with mountain climbing, scaling living, working, managing, and leading as four sequential summits which get progressively higher, but also build upon each other, like a series of climbs which start from the same mountain ridge, one we would call Basecamp Aloha.

We called them the 4 Peaks for short, and some of you may remember this simple drawing from the early days of my Managing with Aloha workshops:

The 4 Peaks have also proved to be a useful way Alaka‘i Managers can sort the 19 Values of Aloha in an applicable way; which in particular are the current drivers of Living with Aloha? Which have maximum impact in your current Working with Aloha? …and so on.

Speaking with Aloha came a little bit later, connected to Key 5 of our 9 Key Concepts, on Language of Intention. It was connected to something Robert mentioned: Presence, as Kū.

E kū iho i hō‘ike na‘u;

I stand as a witness of me.

In the alo of Aloha, we focus on our demeanor, and ‘the outside of us, projected and shared with the rest of the world, as what can be visibly seen by others when it is a reflection of our inside — our ha, our breath of life fueled by self’s spirit.’ We Kū in our presence, aspiring to stand tall.

Yet to stand in stillness, as good as that is, is not enough. We humans are communal creatures, thriving with others.

To speak with Aloha, is what we as human beings can so naturally and easily do.

To speak with Aloha is to communicate, and add connection to our presence.

To speak with Aloha is to share our spirit with others, in grace and in kindness.

To speak with Aloha is to actively engage in another favorite verbing for me: Conversing. Conversation brings so many other good verbs to the party: Listening, Smiling, Understanding, Empathizing, Laughing, Collaborating.

We are works in progress.

So thanks to Robert, I am diving into another edit of my own holiday batch.

I like what I came up with yesterday and have already begun my work with it, but I tend to be quite wordy in my journaling (surprise, surprise, huh :) and I’ve got to shorten some of my phrases to get to the heart of each. What better, than trimming them and activating them with verbing!

In the spirit of full-on sharing with you as my extended ‘Ohana, here is another email that made me smile this morning:

“By the way. When first reading this,  thought you wrote ‘holiday bitching’.  Had to read twice.”

— Joni

So thankful you know me better, and do take the time to read me twice!

Here is some Archive Aloha on VERBING: Next-stepping and other Verbs. You can also take the tag in the footer to find more.

Just 5 Over the Holidays, 2013

Look Back, to Go Forward in a better way.

Many business coaches will tell you to ramp up your business focus now, for this is a time when most of the world slows down business-wise and you can seize those curtailed attention opportunities to competitive advantage. That has never been my approach, for much as I love my business playground, the Managing with Aloha culture requires a healthy balance (PONO) of the personal and the professional. I prefer to have the Thanksgiving to Christmas to New Years holiday season be a time of personal emphasis with professional support.

— Just 5 Over the Holidays, 2012

I spent the wee hours of my Sunday morning writing out my holiday batching, a Take 5 and only 5 listing of what I’ll be concentrating on in the weeks to come, Christmastime and into the New Year. My first draft done, I then looked back to December of 2012 to remember my lessons learned and my holiday season successes: That reflection fueled my edit process until my holiday batch was done, ready for the action-prompting to come.

I’m a little late with this due to the Thanksgiving holiday travel I took stateside, but as with all good things which are our keepers, better late than never!

So if you’re running a little late with it too, here is some ‘looking back’ help in coming up with your own Just 5 Over the Holidays batch. In the habit of our Reading Pathways and Lexicon Morphology (Language of Intention: ‘talk the talk’ first, to help you walk that talk), here is your Archive Aloha to follow and apply in self-coaching:

Just Over the Holidays || Start here if our habit of holiday batching is new to you.
My batching always starts with a blank page, where I let my stream of conscience and gut-level intuitions talk to me. If you are someone who finds the blank page too daunting, try categories, choosing one to-do for each. For example, a) the celebration of Christmas itself, b) the celebration of New Years Day c) home and family d) reading and/or learning e) networking and/or correspondence. Categorical batching has a way of helping us be much more specific as well.
Be good to yourself in that your batch is reasonable. Keep it relevant to the holidays, and make it about you and your habits, restricting your batch to only that which is squarely in your own circle of influence. This is not selfishness, but a practical and useful restraint: No frustration or stress stemming from the actions or non-actions of others, and frankly, no “it’s not me” excuses.

As far as Living with ALOHA is concerned, YOU are Job 1.

Self is the feel of, and for, your personal sense of place, as sense of belonging and worth in our world.

— Day 1 for Job 1: A Good Selfishness

If you are in the mood for goal-setting to our MWA movement persuasions, I have found that our newest Resource Page here on the blog is of enormous help to me and the Alaka‘i Managers I have been coaching: Conceptual Index. Scroll through the Language of Intention triggers, and then read the posting suggestion in your desired context, personal or professional. Then pick your value driver for more inspiration.
Looking forward can help too! To Begin with the End in Mind, these posts may be helpful if your first-draft listing overwhelms, and you need to edit your list to Just 5:


What can you Stop, and, what Must you Continue? This posting talks about Juggling Irrelevancy, and our “Don’t add; Replace.” mantra. This year, I was sure to include breaking one of my own bad habits in my batch:

Get back my mornings for me and my writing and thinking. Habit to Break and Replace with a Better One: Resist email, Tumblr, Twitter, and everything else written by others until my own morning work is done.

The Opportunity to Reset. The holidays are such a good time for this, as a time your work can move on, allowing you to discover the gentle coaching to be found within seasonal lulls and mood shifts. A bonus in this post is a quick review of our managing/leading definitions in the context of human energy.
Looking forward to January, I cannot remember a New Year when this was not good advice, can you? This January, Slow Down.

Share your Batch

The very best way to achieve your batch is to share it. Add it here to the comments. If you blog or publish like me, post it.

Share it in parts with the people who will feel its ripple effects. Share your family batch item with your family, and your workplace batch item with your partnership team.

Visualize the Goodness

One last tip for you: Most managers are visual people. I really don’t know why that is so, but management’s appeal to visual people is a good thing — we watch, we aspire to be more observant, we look for, we see, we get visually inspired to be emotionally in-spirit. We Ho‘o, and Hō‘imi with positive expectancy: Palena ‘ole Positivity is Hō‘imi— look for it.

So make those tendencies work for you. Visualize the goodness you want from your holiday batching with some eye candy. Think of your holiday batch as affirmations, and get them up where you can see them all the time, and feel your wanting.

I have found that Pinterest is wonderful for this. Here is the link to the Christmas board I just started for myself, for number 1 on my holiday batch, simply to “Be more Christmasy. Don’t let these magical days slip by.” || Christmas in Good Hands. If you like words, infographics and posters, this board might have a few triggers for you || Quotations. And if you have not yet seen it, here is Managing with Aloha on Pinterest, a work in progress for which I welcome your additions! || Managing with Aloha.

via Pinterest: Christmas in Good Hands

When Children Sleep, Angels Whisper

I took my annual visit to the Talking Story archives this morning, in honor of my Dad’s birthday, and decided our Papa Angel whispers need to bless these blog pages too.



Hau‘oli lā hānau ke Lani Papa ~ Happy Birthday-in-Heaven Dad; your influence lives on in this humble life we lead here within earthly places, and our love, born through you, burns strong and bright. We still listen for those angel whispers, and always will.

What follows is a story I had written for Talking Story on the blog’s first December 6th. Each year, I read it again, drinking in the day like a nourishing smoothie. In 2006 I had printed a newly edited version, for my daughter had asked me to write up “the part where our Papa Angel whispers to us at night.”�

This is for her, and for all of us who knew and loved my dad, pictured above with my son Zach in 1988. Perhaps it will help you think of someone you love as your December angel too.

Hau‘oli la hanau Dad, Happy Birthday.

December 6th will always mean just one thing to me: Today is my Dad’s birthday.

Dad is no longer with us; his was a life much too short. As we had explained to my young children the first Christmas we had without him, now sixteen years ago [23 as of this 2013 writing] heaven needs a lot of angels during this holiday season, and their Papa was one of those people who answered the call.

What we explained went something like this all the years when they were younger; now they know it by heart, so they can explain to their children one day in their own words, and with their mana‘o (what it means to them);

“The angels whisper in our ears while we are sleeping, so we dream the December dreams that reasonable people should dream right now. We want to be good, unselfish people who think with gratitude for what we have, way more than with wishfulness for what we don’t have. Angel whispers are soft and gentle, and they help our thoughts sleep well, unbothered by the noisy beating of our hearts which never sleep, and without the confusion life can bring when we’re awake. Ours should be the dreams of a baby born with all the glorious possibility of a wonderful life to come, just like the baby Jesus. Then, when we awake in the morning we are newly blessed, with the angel’s whisper mixing perfectly with our own aloha spirit. Papa is our personal angel, and because he went to heaven, his whispers can warm a lot of children’s hearts right now, not just ours.”�

My dad had died two days before Thanksgiving, and those days which dutifully march between then and today, December 6th, we’ve since looked at as his ‘angel’s boot camp’ where every angel joins hands, hearts, and wings. They get the annual training they will need before our Lord sends them out to the world to help Santa, and help us, so that in turn we help each other, becoming angels on earth, practicing for the days we get our own wings.

And as many stories do, especially when they are told as a way to comfort someone, and help the hurting heart remember another, this one has taken on a life of its own. It has gotten magnified into quite a few variations over sixteen years’ time, for my mom’s eleven grandchildren and three great-grandchildren, and for a variety of reasons. My dad is now Super Angel!

Papa’s Shopping Angel Story

The telling of “Papa’s Shopping Angel Story”� is a December tradition where fact and fantasy have eagerly meshed together, spreading its’ own Christmas cheer and adding a kind of magic to these early weeks of the month where even Santa must go through panic attacks as days are marked off the calendar.

Papa’s Shopping Angel Story is also one not told in a single sitting; it’s become the background music singing in our heads for a few weeks, always lasting through the entire Christmas season. Sometimes it starts around Thanksgiving, but always, as sure as the sun comes up that morning, December 6 is the day we start to tell it to each other out loud. Everyone in the family does it, and from up in heaven, Dad makes sure none of us misses a beat in preparing for Christmas day.

You see one of the true facts we all knew about my Dad, was that he was that very rare man who loved going shopping. My dad was thought of as a fairly low-key, quiet and reserved gentleman, but shopping became a social event for him after he had retired from his full-time job. He was up bright and early every single Sunday to read the paper, for that was the day the front page was usually only a protective covering for a ream of flyers and advertisements. If by chance it was raining (other than on Mauna Kea, there’s no snow in Hawaii!) Dad got up extra early to meet the delivery boy and make sure the paper didn’t get wet.

There was this unwritten rule that no one could touch the familiar yellow Long’s Drugs ad until Dad had peeled the rest of the paper’s clutter away from it and studied it with his morning coffee before we headed out to church. After church, Dad dropped us off at home, and went shopping. In the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas, Dad’s Sunday ritual became a near-daily event: no one enjoyed the both the glitz and genuine caring of the season more than Dad.

Dad knew every cashier by name in every retail store in Pearl City, the neighborhood we lived in. And they knew him. The rest of us were just “Jerry’s family”� to most of them, but they all knew what we were getting for Christmas, and exactly why my Dad felt it was the perfect gift for us. They knew if we deserved it because of something special we did – and the entire story that went with it – or if it would be under the tree Christmas Day only because Dad loved us. On my own shopping excursions days later, I’d get accustomed to the all-knowing looks my way, or hearing a cashier say, “you lucky girl, just wait until you see what Santa will bring you this year!”�

There’s so much else involved with Papa’s Shopping Angel Story, and each year’s memory-telling adds and embellishes as the best stories will do in their warmly encouraging way. We all loved to go shopping with Dad (when we were allowed to) because in the frenzy of the season we were positive there was an angel perched on his shoulder; the man could quickly find the perfect parking spot no matter how hectic the shopping weekend, no handicap sticker required. His research had paid off, and he found the deals of the century. If you bought something with him it was guaranteed not to show up cheaper somewhere else. Dad was my own personalized search engine long before Google’s founders were out of diapers.

So this morning, I woke up very early, instantly realizing I was already late with some of my own holiday preparations and had to get started with loving and relishing every day that is left in this wonder-filled month. Heart, mind and soul must be completely open for every single thing December has to offer me. I can’t go wrong with Dad’s angel on my shoulder.

My dad would talk to me about work too.

I know you’re busy. So am I. Believe me, I love my role, my work and what I do just as much as you do, and there are still those faultingly-human times I kid myself into believing I’m indispensable too. However, this is one of the rare times you’ll hear me say, Let the business go: Trust that the investments you’ve made all year long will help it survive on its’ own. And whatever you do, DO NOT start any new projects this month, adding to anyone else’s plate. If you ask for extra time off, and your boss lays a guilt trip on you about it, ignore it, smile, and hand him or her a candy cane while you say Mahalo (thank you), Mele Kalikimaka Kākou! (Merry Christmas for all of us.)

Enjoy the month, every holiday and family bit of it.

Enjoy the hunt for that parking space.

Enjoy the double bagging to hide brand names, and pretending the latch to the car trunk is busted so you can stash your lunch-break purchases.

Enjoy the wonder of plastic and your great credit rating.

Enjoy sweeping up falling pine-needles and perfectly re-stacking the gifts you just wrapped so the bows don’t get crushed.

Get your family to sit around the dinner table and not in front of the TV, so you can start telling the snippets of your own family Christmas stories and love each other.

And by the way, since my dad’s not here anymore, say a few kind words to all those store employees working so hard to make Christmas as merry as they can for us. Since I’m here on O‘ahu right now, I’m filling up the gas tank and driving out to Longs Drugs in Pearl City. Dad will help me find a great parking space, I know he will.

Winter Readiness for Alaka‘i Managers

Preview: This is a post to include in the manager’s self-coaching toolkit.

“Begin with the end in mind”

…has long been a mantra for me (mahalo nui to Stephen R. Covey, for sharing it within his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People). I believe in Hō‘imi, and looking ahead with positive expectancy (Palena ‘ole Positivity is Hō‘imi— look for it).

So when the final weeks of each year roll in, I habitually begin thinking about what ‘end’ to keep in mind next — what will I be working toward come January 1st and the start of a whole new year?

The follow-up question will then become, what must I do now to get ready? I believe in good foundations, and readiness is important, as is the credibility of leading by merit of your own good example.

I have my ends firmly in mind, and have shared them with you, so now, let’s talk about you.

The End (which is really a stellar beginning)

If you have your sights set on becoming an Alaka‘i Manager who IS Managing with Aloha, I have a practice to suggest to you:

Beginning January 2, 2014, gift The Daily 5 Minutes to everyone you work with. (I am hoping that January 1 will be a day off for you :)

You ‘gift D5M’ by doing it, and by giving it to others as the gift of conversational possibility, bright, shiny and new.

If you are already doing it, think about how you can do it better. Think about injecting your D5M practice with some sort of ‘phase 2’, ramping up your energies. Think about enlarging your conversational circle, and hence your circle of influence, D5M-ing with the new partnerships within your professional network.

How to Begin: Prepare well.

To start, review these 2 postings here in our MWA Central archives:

First, learn about the basic WHAT and WHY of the Daily 5 Minutes within this reprint of MWA’s chapter 11 on ‘Ike loa
Second, this posting will help you begin with the D5M end in mind: Revisiting the Daily 5 Minutes: Lessons Learned

Here is a quick look at the readiness covered in reading no.2 above:

Set the D5M Goal today, and begin to prepare for it.

ONE: Don’t try to change whole-company culture; improve your own corner of it and go for a ripple effect where good begets more good.

TWO: Increase your face time.

THREE: Work on your listening skills in each and every conversation you have.

Extra credit: How to Listen.

FOUR: Honestly assess the conversational climate of your workplace culture as it now stands.

FIVE: Earn a reputation as an investigative problem-solver.

Read more about each of these steps here: Revisiting the Daily 5 Minutes: Lessons Learned

You will find that the year blooms for you in a truly beautiful way.

~ Rosa

Related Reading: This was our holiday batching in 2012 ~ Just 5 Over the Holidays And to complete the story-telling for you, this was the follow-up we found we needed: This January, Slow Down.

the Nānā News

Aloha my friends,

It’s mid-November, and 2014 is mere weeks away: Will you be ready for it?

I’m always someone who is happy to stretch out these autumn and winter holidays first, feeling no rush for New Year’s Day, yet 2014 is very, very promising…

I have written a 1st Edition preview of my coming seasons exclusively for you, my Ho‘ohana Community: It is called The Nānā News. Please click over to RosaSay.com to read more.

Mahalo nui,

~ Rosa Say

The 19 Values of Aloha ~ continuously learned and shared

A little over a year ago, I was approached by the editor of Ke Ola to write a business column for her magazine. It was a time when I was pulling back on the Writing with Aloha part of my publishing, but the project she outlined became more and more appealing as we talked about what they hoped for, and I aligned their scope with my own values-driven goals (my Ho‘ohana).

Ke Ola has been very supportive of Managing with Aloha over the years, and so they knew exactly what they wanted, asking me to do a series that would share all 19 values, within a one-value-per-article project published in bi-monthly installments, with print distribution on the islands of Hawaii and Maui. Though they welcomed essays that would simply be reprints of selected book excerpts, I have only gone that route once so far (with my Kūlia i ka nu‘u installment in their current November/December 2013 issue), opting instead to reflect on these values anew for myself, and occasionally sharing a look back at my personal MWA story.

The Ke Ola magazine covers have been stunning, all of collectible quality; click on the image to see more.

Values equip and energize us, and I have totally enjoyed writing these articles: They have prompted me to appreciate recurring lessons even more deeply, or reflect on new learning about these values since MWA was first published 9 years ago.

We’ve now come to the end of year 1 of the project, 5 values into the journey, and I decided to created my own archive of the articles I have written, especially for all of you who may wish to do a newish review of our 19 Values of Aloha as well, injecting some fresh energy into your own VYMTVYL programs: Value Your Month for One — You.

Here are some quick links to RosaSay.com where they are now indexed. They are about 800-words apiece, the size of a single magazine page:

Kick-off Essay: Why Values? And Why “Manage with Aloha?”
Aloha is our Rootstalk.
Ho‘ohana, the Value of Worthwhile Work.
‘Imi ola, the Value of Mission and Vision.
Ho‘omau, the Value of Perseverance.
Current issue: Kūlia i ka nu‘u, the Value of Achievement.

I hope you enjoy them too.

Click on the image to read the essay at www.RosaSay.com