Jon Acuff's Blog, page 137

Live video chat this Thursday!

I had so much fun doing out last live video chat that I decided to do another one about the upcoming Quitter Conference. Join me this Thursday, June 16, at 8PM Eastern at justin.tv/jonacuff.

I'll answer any questions you have about the Quitter Conference, talk about ways you can close the gap between your day job and your dream job and tell you about one of the surprises that's in the works that I'm really excited about. It's a great chance for us to actually interact and go back and forth on ideas.

See you tomorrow night!

Jon

Using the NBA Finals for a Sermon Illustration.

It's possible in all the hullabaloo about the Tony Awards you missed the fact that the NBA Finals ended last Sunday. (I didn't watch the Tony Awards, but I feel it's safe to assume there was some degree of hullabaloo, a word I spelled correctly on the first time. First time! I'm like the LeBron James of words no one uses!)

Your off the cuff comment should never be longer than your main comment so I need to bring this post back to the point.

And the point is that the 2011 NBA Finals were like a sports cornucopia of sermon illustrations. You should probably just go ahead and email this post to your pastor right now.

Why?

1. It's summer.

You can preach about anything during summer. That's an unwritten rule of church. One off sermons. Crazy musical solos from people who thought buying an instrument on a mission trip was the equivalent to being proficient at said instrument. Youth Sunday. It's summer! The perfect time for an NBA Finals Sermon Illustration.

2. A bajillion people watched them.

Don't trust that math, huh? How about this? The ratings were the highest they've had in 11 years. At one point 15% of all US homes were watching them. That's way more than watched the world Jai Lai championships, which I assume exist and are in fact televised. People will connect with the sermon.

Maybe you're still doubting. Maybe you're thinking, "Oh jeez, I'm a mom of three, this is going to be one of those posts where I read the title and then immediately leave SCL and just read The Pioneer Woman." I get that I do, but whether you're a guy or girl, you're in for a treat if your pastor uses one of these NBA Finals illustrations.

3 ways to preach about the NBA Finals

1. Pride comes before a fall.

Easiest. Sermon. Ever. LeBron James is being ripped apart right now for the way things went down. When he left Cleveland and joined the Miami Heat, they had a press conference/event/donnybrook that made the Royal Wedding look quiet. Then they had a pre-finals celebration celebration the day after. They danced. There was smoke. I'm sure Chad OchoCinco was there and at least one person "made it rain." Then they lost in the finals. This sermon practically writes itself. Pride comes before a fall. Boom. Done.

2. Wait for the Lord

Did God pull for the Mavericks? Tough to say. I know Matt Chandler lives there and God loves that dude. A lot. But on the other hand, as a Boston Celtics fan I'm pretty sure that's who he roots for. Regardless, there's no debating that the Mavericks and team owner Mark Cuban worked on this a long time. Cuban bought the team in 2000, which using my writer's math means he's owned the team for like 24 years. (Or 11.) Dirk and lots of his teammates lost to Miami in the finals a few years ago and never gave up. They kept working and waiting for their chance. Kind of like in Habbakuk 2:3, which says:

For still the vision awaits its appointed time;

it hastens to the end—it will not lie.

If it seems slow, wait for it;

it will surely come; it will not delay.

See what I did there? Seamless! I might even throw in a little "If Dirk's first move to the basket seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay and might even include a free throw."

3. Teamwork matters.

My friend Stephen Brewster told me about a Wall Street Journal article that counted the number of times the Mavericks high fived, hugged and slapped each other on the back. Then they counted the number of times the Heat did. The difference was pretty dramatic. In the first three games, the Mavericks high fived 250 times. The Heat? Only 134. Teamwork matters. We're all in this together. We've to be iron that sharpens iron. Or if you before a more relevant translation, "We got to do life together." You might even work in a side hug reference in the sermon if you want to plug the Stuff Christians Like book. Up to you really.

Those are free. All three of them. Please let your pastor know I am completely cool with any one of those being used this Sunday. The only one I can't endorse is the Jesus Juke. A friend sent me a tweet a pastor had written chastising Dallas fans for being happier about the victory than they were about the salvation they received from Christ on the cross. Maybe that guy just hates basketball and is mad Jai Lai gets no love. Hard to say. Hard to say.

Question:

Does your pastor ever use sports analogies?

Wondering why Christian bands break up.

Recently, a friend of mine told me that the David Crowder Band was breaking up. I like them, both musically and beardedly. In that order. I never put a person's facial hair above their music. That's one of the rules I live my life by. Unless they've got a monkey tail, which apparently is a thing now.

What's that you say? Well, you grow one sideburn very long. Then you grow it into a beard that goes down one side of your face, over your chin and finally curves under your nose like the tail of a monkey. Then you move to Brooklyn.

It's all very complicated, but not the breakup of the David Crowder Band or so my friend says. He says whenever a Christian band breaks up they get to throw the "We're breaking up to pursue other ministry opportunities" card. Who is going to argue with that? What you don't want us to minister to people in new ways? Why do you hate Jesus so much?

But I don't think it's that simple. I think Christian bands break up for a variety of reasons. Which I decided to list out in numerical fashion.

Reasons Christian Bands Break Up:

1. Too many empty love offerings.

I stand by my assertion that if they pass around a love offering at a concert and you don't put at least a dollar in that's like putting in a fistful of hate.

2. They join the Hillsong Band.

There are approximately 43 people in the group Hillsong. And as long as they keep turning out music I'm OK with that. Just don't act surprised when they suddenly show up with a thickly bearded guy singing backup who they claim is named "Cavid Drowder."

3. They're tired of the guy who screams "Jesssuuuussss" at concerts.

I'm still looking for the scene in the Bible where Jesus and the disciples are watching an outdoor concert, somewhere nice by the Sea of Galilee and someone screamed, "Jesssuuuussss!" It's got to be Biblical based on how often it happens at Christian concerts. I can't find it in the Bible, but if it happened I'm sure Peter, the Rock, probably said, "Dude, he's right here. You don't have to scream. We're all just trying to enjoy this song. Seriously."

4. So they can launch themselves as a band of Christians not a Christian band.

What's the waiting period on that? Three months? Six months? How long would it take to stop being a Christian band and reemerge as a band of Christians?

5. They read about me meeting Michael W. Smith and are afraid I will accost them on a plane.

That seems like a really specific reason to step out of the limelight, but whatever. And ask the guy from Newsboys I sat next to on a flight a few weeks ago. I was only borderline weird to that guy and didn't awkwardly thrust the Stuff Christians Like book on him. I did give him Quitter though.

6. They keep getting asked to play "Blessed Be Your Name."

A few months ago at a book signing event, someone asked me if I had any copies of Matthew Paul Turner's books for sale. I told him that despite being friends with him, I surprisingly didn't bring any of his books on the road with me to sell. At some point something similar has probably happened to a Christian band, especially with the song "Blessed Be Your Name." I propose that "Blessed Be Your Name" is the Christian version of "Freebird," the song people always request at concerts. It's a great song. , but I'm sure after request 500 you want to hang up your guitar and focus on your monkey tail, not your music.

Those are my guesses at why Christian bands break up. I'm not sure why the David Crowder Band is breaking up though. Or pursuing other ministry opportunities if you will. Maybe they want to get back to their first love, writing guest posts on Stuff Christians Like. Hard to say.

Question:

Why do you think Christian bands break up?

Forgive, Don't Forget.

Last Tuesday, I had the opportunity to speak at BigStuf camp in Panama City, FL. Right before I took the stage, I was overwhelmed with the abundance of second chances God keeps giving me. If you asked most people who met me in college, or even lots who met me after, the idea of me being someone who would get on stage and talk about God would be impossible.

But that's what's so beautiful and powerful and grace- drenched about the concept of the second chance. Which is why when I bump into folks like Mike Foster, of the People of the Second Chance, I love to be a part of what they're doing. And today, I get to introduce you to someone new.

Prison Fellowship is doing something really amazing called "Forgive, Don't Forget."

Their heart is for prisoners, who they are dedicated to forgiving and not forgetting about. Turns out, there are more than 2.3 million men and women in prison in the U.S. And every year, more than 700,000 are released. Within three years, more than 50% of them will be back behind bars.

There are a number of ways they offer second chances to prisoners. But, one of them is so simple, I actually did it myself.

If you buy a "Forgive, Don't Forget" t-shirt for a $25 donation, they give a new dress shirt and a tie to a guy who is just getting out of prison. You get the shirt, and he gets something to wear to a job interview, which is often the first step back toward a second chance.

I bought one myself. A lot of ministry shirts I see make me want to buy the shirt, support the ministry and promptly put the shirt in a deep dark drawer never to be seen again. Not this one. I love this shirt. (See if you can guess which design I bought.)

The best part is that you get to leave a message for the prisoner who will receive the shirt and tie. Here's what I wrote:

God loves second chances. He sent Jesus to the world for people that need second chances. Not the perfect people, not the good people, the people who need second chances.

If you'd like to buy one too, visit forgivedontforget.org.

If you'd like learn a little more about the ministry, check out the video below.

Question for the day:

Has someone ever offered you a second chance?

Rebelling against pew pencils.

(Curtis Honeycutt is SCL famous. In addition to writing a ton of guest posts, he even won our bulletin bored contest with the best bulletin art I've ever seen. Which makes sense given how often he thinks about the writing utensils he brings to church. Here, in a sequel to a previous guest post, is his latest gift. Enjoy!)

Rebelling against pew pencils. By Curtis Honeycutt.

It's an honor to be able to share this with the SCL community on Friday, of all days. After all, you gotta get down on Friday. Why, you ask? Great question: because everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend.

A few weeks ago, I lost my favorite pen on my way to sitting down in the sanctuary at church. My first reaction was to put the church on lockdown and bring in the pen-sniffing dogs. The greeters at the Info Hub didn't go for that idea. As a result, I was stuck taking notes with one of those stubby pew pencils with no erasers. By the end of the sermon, I had a wicked sweaty cramp in my hand.

Why do churches use these?

After much discussion with a few other pew aficionados, I discovered there are a handful of writing instruments that all fit in the little hole between the envelope slot and used communion cup hole in the pewback. Here's the rundown:

Pencil Classic (Sans Eraser)

These are pretty much glorified golf pencils. I think they come pre-dulled out of the box, and they never get sharpened. The last time I experienced something with duller points was my botany professor in college. Zinger! I concluded that the only thing pew pencils are good for is drawing shadows of ghosts on the bulletin. Do erasers really cost that much more?

The Full-On Pencil (aka "The Rogue")

Someone decided they'd had enough with pencil classic, so they took it upon themselves to bring a full-on pencil from home, complete with eraser, and sneak it into the pencil slot. It's all well and good until someone in the pew in front sits down and gets stabbed by a pencil whose end is slightly taller than the seatback. My advice: leave the rogue at home, unless you want to create another worship distraction. The only people who get away with going rogue in the sanctuary are the pastor's kids.

Eraser Pen

Whoa. How is this possible? I can think in ink, then unthink my ink in a blink. Brilliant! Utilizing eraser pens would save on discarded offering envelopes, whose paper is precisely the ideal weight for a smooth-sailing paper airplane capable of reaching the top row of the choir loft (that is, once you loudly disassemble the envelope during a long-winded deacon prayer).

Clever Marketing Pen

I've never actually seen this, but it would be funny if a church stocked their pewbacks with pens that said "This pen was stolen from GracePointeLifeBridgeOverTroubledHolyWater Church."

Sharpee

…because we don't make mistakes, right? If we had Sharpees at church, I'd be afraid of kids getting loopy while doodling mustaches and eyepatches on families they don't like in the church directory.

Calligraphy Pen

This is mainly for people like your great aunt who still sends two dollar bills in your birthday card every year. Also for people like Robin Hood (the Kevin Costner version).

Twizzlers

Twizzlers are to Skittles as praying mantises are to worship eagles. I'm not sure that made much sense. Either way, Twizzlers would fit in that slot and you know it. I know this one's a bit out of the box, but sometimes I've got a sweet tooth that the head usher's butterscotches just can't quench.

So, where were we? Right…if anyone sees a black Uniball Jetstream pen (with clicker, not lid) lying around, let me know. Until then, these are just some ideas, because I think the whole pew pencil system, like many of their lead tips, is broken. What ideas do you have for an alternative to the pew pencil?

(For more great stuff from Curtis, check out his blog "Get Compelled.")

Winners of the Francis Chan BASIC video.

Hooray! 25 people won a copy of the Francis Chan BASIC video. If your name is on the list after the jump, please email your mailing address (to this email) so that we can hook you up. If you click on the name you can see the actual comment that was left to verify that you're the "Alex" who won for instance. The comment will appear on top of the page you click through to. Thanks for participating!

Winners

1. Alex

2. Rebekah

3. Jeff Bethke

4. Nicole Smith

5. Jimmy Burke

6. Cayla

7. Clayton

8. Angie

9. Emily

10. Joel

11. Michelle

12. Richard Jett

13. Jessica J.

14. Terri G.

15. Hannah

16. Zach

17. Cshell

18. John

19. Jose C.

20. Candace

21. Hollie Wymore

22. Anthony

23. Chris

24. Jeff Kaldahl

25. Elizabeth

Speaking authoritatively on books you haven't read.

I am one of 9 people on the planet who have not read the book, "Heaven is for Real."

It's not on purpose. I'm not making a private stand against that book. I think I'd actually love it if I read it. When my wife quoted some of the stories in it to me, I almost started crying. My pastor Pete Wilson recently interviewed the author for a sermon series. People I respect love that book. I even like the color yellow as a cover option. It's bright and happy and yay! VW beetle convertible!

But despite having never read it, that has not prevented me from speaking authoritatively on it. I've recommended it to friends. I've bantered about it at length at dinner parties. I am a pseudo expert on a book I've never cracked.

And I am not alone. In fact, there are at least 4 other people that jump into this situation with me and will pretend they know all about a book they've never read:

1. The book owner.

The weird thing is, buying a book, owning a book, even displaying a book on your shelf does not transport the contents of said book magically into your head. Believe me, I wish it did, because I would be wicked smart right now. My shelves are littered with "Seriously, I am so going to read this brilliant book" books.

2. The guy who heard about it in a sermon.

Again, it's a 300 page book, and my pastor name dropped it in a sermon one Sunday last year using the amount of words that would fit on a fortune cookie, but I'm pretty sure I get it. The challenging thing is that hearing a pastor briefly mention a book he's read and then pretending you're an expert on it is like telling people you know how to play the guitar because you saw one on stage during worship.

3. The friend of a friend of a friend who read it.

I have a confession. When I use the phrase, "my friend," in a sentence, I am using that to describe every friend of a friend of a friend of a friend. There are at least four layers of separation between me and the person who actually did the action I am referring to. But in the context of a conversation, I tend to strip away those layers and just say, "Yeah, my friend went to high school with the guy who wrote The Shack. He says he's a pretty good dude."

4. The back cover reader.

This is probably the one I am most guilty of. I tend to think that there are two books in every book. The first one is printed inside the pages, and the second one is printed on the back cover. If I've read most of the back cover, I feel pretty good about speaking in detail on the heart of the book. Is the truth that sometimes the author doesn't even write the back cover? Sure, but should that stop me from discussing the story arc?

I wasn't going to write this post until we moved and I had to unpack all of our books. I was overwhelmed at the number of books I never read but still felt compelled to speak authoritatively on. I'm going to get better. I promise. From this moment on, instead of pretending I've read something I haven't, I'm just going to say, "I've read the meta narrative version," which will be my code for saying "I've read the title and most of the subtitle." That should count for something, right?

Question:

Have you ever spoken in detail about a book you've never read?

Sign up for the Quitter Conference before June 12 and come have coffee with me!

The response to the Quitter Conference has been awesome! Folks from Oregon to Alabama have signed up to join me on July 30th to take a big, fun step toward closing the gap between their day jobs and their dream jobs.

We're working on a lot of great wow moments for people who come and today I get to announce a new one. Anyone who signs up for the conference before June 12th, will get to come to an exclusive VIP session. That Saturday morning before the conference starts, we'll all hang out and connect. We'll do Q&A, grab coffee and just have fun before the day really even begins.

If you've already registered, you're automatically in. If you haven't yet, sign up today to make sure we get to hang out!

Click here to register or learn more about the event.

The past

When I tell people I was a jerk in college, they sometimes don't believe me. They feel that, much like how I talk about my unbelievable breakdancing skills, I am exaggerating. To prove my point, I submit to you this photo of me from my junior year.

This was my ID photo in our college Facebook. (Dear L.E. and McRae Acuff, when your mom and I were in college, "Facebook" was something printed on what we called "paper.")

That photo is ridiculous. My smirk was more of a scowl, you can practically smell whatever the 1997 equivalent of Axe Body Spray was, and you know I probably did 100 push ups right before the photo was taken.

Looking at it now, it's hard not to get a little sick to my stomach. I think about how many years I wasted, how many bridges I burned, how many relationships I wounded. And I was reminded of all of that, when a friend asked me the other day, "Are you ever worried that your past will catch up with you?"

I think that's a pretty common thing Christians struggle with. The reason is that when you start to live out your faith, the voices of doubt get pretty loud and aggressive.

"Who are you to tell people about Christ?"

"If the people who used to know you and know what you've done could see you now, they'd call you a hypocrite."

"Eventually, you'll be found out and exposed as the fraud you really are."

And rather you've written a blog about faith or just tried to do things differently than perhaps you've always done them, it's easy for the specter of the past to haunt the present. There's a section in Isaiah, though, that is making it hard for me to do that lately.

It's Isaiah 43:18-19 and here's what it says:

18 "Forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past.

19 See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness

and streams in the wasteland.

I love those verses because there is so much hope hidden in them. Let's break them down for a second:

"Forget the former things;"

That's a command, not a "maybe you should think about doing this." I often feel guilty for not remembering my past, as if perhaps I should, but here we're told the opposite. And it doesn't say, "Learn from them, wrestle with them, figure out a valuable lesson you can take from them." It says "forget" them.

"do not dwell on the past."

God knows what we'll be tempted to do. In this case, it's obvious: We're going to struggle with dwelling on the past. With making our home in the past, with defining ourselves by our past. God knows we'll struggle with that and pleads, "do not dwell on the past."

"See, I am doing a new thing!"

Don't you want to hug the Bible when it ends a sentence with an exclamation? This is not something casual or ordinary. This is a new thing! Hope is loud and bright and colorful!

"Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?"

This is my favorite part, because in this we're told God's ability to spring it up and change our lives will not be dependent on our ability to perceive it. There are so many days where I don't see or feel the new thing he is doing in my life, but that matters not. He is doing it nonetheless, regardless if I do not perceive it.

"I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."

I don't care how wild your past was. I don't care about how wasted the wasteland of your life was. Those are the very places God loves to redeem. Those are the very places he puts a way through. Those are the very places he puts a stream.

Sometimes, my past feels big and inescapable. It looms large in my head and my heart, a tattoo that will not fade, a defining moment that cannot be forgotten. But the truth is, the past is not my home. The person in that photo from years ago no longer exists. God is doing a new thing. In me, in you, in us. The old has gone, the new has come!

Grace on a plane.

You know that small dog that barks at cars, 'cause they're large, loud, moving objects? He's got that shrill, sharp bark that chips away pieces of your soul each time you hear it? But you don't mind because you drive by him pretty quickly and he's gone. You know that dog? He was on my flight last week. And he was pretty sure that, if he barked long enough, he'd be able to scare away the large, loud, moving object we were all on. Or he was doing the dog version of an NFL touchdown dance, showing off to all the other dogs that had to ride in the back of the plane with the luggage, while he relaxed in an aisle making frequent visits to "barktown."

Hard to say, but in that moment I was not bubbling over with grace and kindness. But then I remembered the post I wrote about Grace Spots.

The idea was that there are some places where I have to be really deliberate about showing grace to people. The post was inspired because I was a jerk to someone at a restaurant.

That was a dangerous post to write, though, because it's easy to blog about grace and less easy to actually live it out. Especially on a plane. So now that I've been traipsing about the country and doing terminal writing, I thought it might be good to figure out a few people I needed to show some Grace on a Plane.

1. The person who seems surprised we landed.

I feel like dropping out of the sky from 35,000 feet, giving 19 "please put up your tray table" announcements and making contact with the crust of the earth would be enough of an indication that the flight was over. But sometimes I get stuck behind passengers that seem surprised it's time to get their carry on luggage out of the overhead and move on. Let's be honest though, at worst, that's costing me 3 minutes of wait time. I need to quit being such an impatient punk. If someone's having trouble getting their luggage down, I should help, not fume. Grace on a plane.

2. The person who jumps out of their seat when you land and cuts in front of you to get off.

That's the great thing about being ungracious, you get to be frustrated by both situations. You get to complain about the person who takes too long to get off the plane and the person who gets off too quickly. The truth is, that guy might have a connecting flight he's going to miss if he doesn't get off. Or he's been out of town for a month on a business trip and his three year old is down at baggage claim waiting for him with his wife and he'd pop the emergency exit and use that awesome slide to get out faster if he had to. I don't know his story, and some punk writer named Jon Acuff said on a blog called Stuff Christians Like that it's easy to judge someone when you don't know their story. Grace on a plane.

3. Chatty McGee.

I've got headphones in. They're bright white and could not be more obvious looking. I've got a bunch of writing to do right now. I can't talk. I'm really busy. What's that you ask, what am I working on? I'm writing a blog that's about Jesus and being compassionate to people and reaching out to people and … oh. Dang it. Grace on a plane.

The more I write about my frustrations and my lack of grace, the sillier it all seems to me. But maybe there's hope. A few weeks ago, a lady spilled a glass of white wine on me and my backpack. I got off the plane smelling like a box o' wine. And I just laughed it off and helped her clean it up. Maybe I'm becoming less of a jerk. Maybe.

Question:

Have you ever needed grace on a plane?