Jennifer Slattery's Blog, page 17

Faith — A Clear Sign to Hold Tight To

(This post first published on March 14, 2019.)

Church had become a painful place for our daughter. She loved Jesus and wanted to grow closer to Him, but she’d experienced deep hurt from His people. Hurts that initiated inner lies like, “I’m not good enough. This faith thing isn’t working for me. God must not be pleased with me.”

Every time she entered the sanctuary, those lies played, swirling through her mind and drowning out the songs and proclamations of grace.

I could sense something was wrong, something deep. I saw it in the way she tensed whenever I asked her about her prayer or Bible reading time—really, anything faith related. She grew abrupt, clearly wanting to end the conversation.

Being the … perhaps overly involved mother that I am, I pressed, out of fear. A fear that, when acted upon, could have pushed her away from the faith entirely. Luckily, my husband stepped in and told me to back off. Even more fortunate, I actually listened.

And waited.

And prayed, and prayed, and prayed for God, the only One who knew precisely how my daughter was feeling and thinking, to step in and grab and heal her heart.

A few edgy and frightening months later, He opened the door for conversation, and in the dialogue that followed, He broke my heart nearly as much as my daughter’s had been. She shared years of hurt, of being misjudged, of feeling as if, because she didn’t respond to God (really, to worship music) as her church friends did, that she was unengaged. Uninterested. And not accepted, not just by her peers, but by God.

“What’s wrong with me?” she asked. “I don’t see God in music; I see Him in math!”

To which I responded, “That’s beautiful baby.”

Then I reminded her of Jesus’ words in John 13:35. He didn’t say, “They’ll know you’re My disciple based on how emotional you get during worship service” or “how high you raise your hands.” He said, “By this everyone will know you’re My disciples, if you love one another.”

When we love like Jesus, we demonstrate we belong to Him.

And I’d seen His love displayed in her again and again in her school and among her friends. God hadn’t rejected her, nor was she failing in her faith. He’d drawn her near and was working in and through her each time she interacted with the hurting and dismissed. She’d turned to Him for salvation as a child, read her Bible, and did her best to honor Him, but still, at times, she worried somehow, for her, saving faith hadn’t clicked. And, surrounded by other more emotionally driven believers, she felt as if somehow she wasn’t enough.

But, as a friend reminded me, when we allow our emotions to dictate our assurance, we’re actually relying on works-based religion, rather than grace received through faith. Quoting a line from an old hymn that says, “‘I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus’ name,’” she added, “Frame was the old word for feelings. It is so easy to rest on feelings instead of the finished work of Christ, which never changes.”

We are saved through faith in what Christ did on our behalf, regardless of how we feel one moment from the next.

In 1 John chapter four, the author wanted to give ancient believers that same assurance. False teachers had infiltrated the church, were denying vital truths regarding Christ, and claiming to have a special, mysterious, and “secret” knowledge of God that the others didn’t have. In response, John, the apostle who write all three letters bearing his name, wrote a missive refuting this deception and assuring true followers of Christ that they did indeed belong to Him.

They could know, know, know that they truly belonged to Jesus based on what they believed regarding Him (that He was fully human and fully man), that they obeyed what He’d taught, have received the indwelling Holy Spirit, and based on how they loved one another.

“Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God,” John said (1 John 4:7).

And for those who may have been confused as to what this love looked like, he added, “This is how God showed His love among us: He sent His One and only Son into the world … as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. … No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us” (1 John 4:9-12, NIV).

The love of God is sacrificial and initiating, and when we love others well, as Christ has loved us, His love is made complete, or has reached it’s full expression, in us.

We don’t need some special knowledge to prove to others or ourselves that we belong to Him, nor should we rely on our emotions to assure us of our faith. We simply need to live in, and live out, what we’ve received—through faith.

Have you ever encountered something similar to my daughter, when others gave you the message that you weren’t expressing your faith appropriately or according to their expectations? What are some ways you’ve found assurance in your faith? What are some ways you’ve assured others who, despite a clear belief in Jesus, have expressed doubts regarding their standing with God?

Share your thoughts and suggestions in the comments below, because we can all learn from and encourage one another.

I also encourage you to listen to the latest Faith Over Fear podcast episode. Find it HERE or wherever you access podcast content.

A Culture of Temporary Relationships

Is our culture creating the “walk-away kind”? Granted, relationships have always been tough—to form and to keep, and sometimes we do need to sever unhealthy ties, especially if a particular person routinely steals our joy, effectiveness, and peace. But with all of the “toxic people” graphics I’ve seen in my social media feed the past few years, I worry we’ve learned to label every unpleasant interaction with imperfect people as poisonous. That we’ve found ways to justify remaining planted within our comfort zones surrounded by those who tell us what we want to hear.    

The other day, a friend shared recent interactions with her adult daughter. The two had issues to work through, false perceptions to correct, and misunderstandings to clear up. Initially, both parties appeared interested in seeking resolution and health, until my friend began setting boundaries and speaking truth regarding past issues. Having read the texts, I knew she’d chosen her words carefully and presented them with gentleness and love. In essence, she was inviting her daughter into something beautiful and whole. But to reach that place, they both needed the courage to be honest with themselves and with one another. 

The latter comes much easier, doesn’t it? Admitting we’re broken and a bit of a mess, however, tends to prick some of our deepest insecurities and fears, primarily because few of us truly understand how to live anchored in grace. Unfortunately, most of us have had way too much experience with the converse. Living in our profoundly broken world among profoundly broken people, we’ve grown accustomed to others cutting us off, rather than inviting us close, when we fail to meet their expectations. This is especially true for those, like my friend’s daughter, who don’t know Jesus.

This should not, however, be true of you and I. Because here’s the thing—if responding to others with Christ-like love came easily, such interactions wouldn’t leave our watching world confounded. Yet, Jesus, the One who laid His life down so you and I might live, stated without any disclaimers, that others would know us by our love. True, healthy, honest, and growing love.

The type that takes work, humility, incredible bravery, and perseverance. 

In Acts 2:1, the Bible says the first century Christ followers “devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer” (NIV). 

This passage may read familiar to you. It did to me, only this morning one word I’d previously skimmed over grabbed my attention. These men and women devoted themselves to one another and growing in Christ. Theirs weren’t casual interactions they engaged in when convenient or conversations felt comfortable. They remained steadfast and diligent, persevering with “intense effort” and at times “despite difficulty.”

No doubt because there were many times when it would’ve been much easier to walk away. Just as it will be for me and you. 

We will often find it easier to:

Self-protect and isolate than to deepen our relationships and risk getting hurt.  Feed our pride than to cultivate the humility necessary to break down barriers, resolve conflicts, and heal hurts.Hide behind our well-rehearsed, cheery Sunday morning smiles and slogans than to allow others to see our imperfections.Attack rather than receive, defend rather than hear, and isolate rather than grow.  

But none of those behaviors will bring the relationship depth our souls crave. To the contrary. When we choose to live like the world, we tend to find ourselves in the same lonely and fearful places into which everyone else has fallen. We begin to experience the “beyond-expectations” life Christ promised, however, when we push past the fears and sinful tendencies that keep us in bondage to boldly seek Jesus, His people, and His ways.

Let’s talk about this. When have you experienced determined, steadfast love? To whom might God be calling you to show that type of love? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below, because we can all encourage and learn from one another.

And make sure to connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, and Amazon.

I also encourage you to check out the latest Faith Over Fear episode:

https://www.lifeaudio.com/faith-over-fear/when-life-doesnt-go-as-planned-with-kristen-clark-ep-96

Freedom From Entitlement

 

What happens when you lost a document? One you remember writing, reading to your husband, and setting aside to share here two weeks later, yet you can’t remember its title nor seem to find it no matter how many times and ways you search your documents folder?

You re-share a piece from … 2017, updated slightly to make sense when read five years later. Wow, five years. Is it a sign of aging when half a decade seemed to zip by? 

And now, back to our regular programming … or blogging. (And thank you in advance for your grace!)

***

When in the middle of a crisis, one word dominates my mind—help! I’d do anything, give up anything, if only God would come through. But oh how quickly pride and entitlement creep in, once the chaos has passed.

It was maybe ten years ago, we were living in a beautiful, spacious home in a gated community, attended a church we loved, and I spent my days doing what I loved—homeschooling our daughter.

In a flash, everything changed, leaving me scrambling, fearful, and crying out for aid.

Our daughter and I were sitting at the breakfast bar, completing her lessons, when I heard the familiar screech-rumble of the garage door opening. I glanced at the time, finding it strange that my husband would come home so early.

When he walked past me without a word a moment later, heading straight for our bedroom, I knew something was wrong.

I immediately followed.

The defeat I saw in his eyes tore at my heart, but what he said after weakened my knees.

That morning began a six-month bout of unemployment that left us scrambling and me crying out to God, “Help us, please! Fix this.”

Then one day, He did. By this point, we’d depleted the last of our savings, and, with all our belongings in storage, we’d moved to a 500 square-foot, furnished, rent-by-the-month apartment. My husband had found temporary contract work while continuing to seek something more permanent.

It’s interesting what happens, when life hits hard and everything is reduced to necessity. In that tiny apartment, with its cheap used furniture, paper-thin walls, and stained and torn linoleum, I learned to become content. To rejoice, actually, in what I had. By taking away our big, fancy house and all the other fluff I’d come to rely on, God granted me an incredible gift—the ability to cherish those things that mattered most—time with my husband and daughter.

So when His aid came and He opened a door for my husband at Union Pacific railroad in Kansas City, MO, I thought I’d arrived. I’d learned my lesson, had found contentment, and could move forward, receiving God’s blessings with open hands.

Open hands that, once they quit clinging to Christ, quickly grasped and strived, until my easily-swayed heart became consumed with a sense of entitlement. It started while house hunting. Needless to say, our budget had changed drastically, and the houses our realtor showed us looked much different than the large, newly built home we’d frantically sold in Louisiana. As we toured smaller, older, and less aesthetically appealing homes, a sense of entitlement emerged, initiating an ugly and growing discontentment.

It was as if I’d forgotten all God had done—how He’d held my family together, kept us from debt, and provided for us at just the right time.

I had fallen into the same pattern the Israelites had, after God miraculously freed them from slavery to Egypt, provided for them in the desert, and personally led them, by a pillar of fire by night and a sun-shielding cloud by day, to the Promised Land.

“They forgot what He had done—the great wonders He had shown them” (Psalm 78:11 NLT).

They forgot and became discontent, and their discontentment turned their hearts from God, from the One who saved them, the One who loved them, and who cared for them as a parent for their young.

There’s danger in forgetting. Or perhaps I should say, there’s incredible power in remembering all God’s done. It frees us from entitlement, keeps us humble, grateful, and I believe, surrendered with a heart that’s ready to receive whatever God has for us.

Let’s talk about this! Do you ever find yourself slipping into a sense of entitlement? Do you notice, when you do, that your discontentment and misery increases? What do you do to stay centered in gratitude and surrender? In what ways has God used life circumstances to purge the sense of entitlement from you? Share your stories, suggestions, and examples with us, because we can all learn from each other!

And make sure to check out the latest Your Daily Bible Verse podcast!

 

https://www.lifeaudio.com/your-daily-bible-verse/

What does it mean to suffer well – guest post by Kelly Campbell

Honestly, I’m a pansy when it comes to suffering. This might be why I feel such admiration and respect for those like my sweet friend and team member, Kelly Campbell who’ve endured incredible and ongoing hardship with perseverance and grace. This is also why when women like her speak on this subject, I pay attention, because I know they have much to teach me.

Godly Suffering by Wholly Loved’s Kelly Campbell

Believe it or not, becoming physically disabled at 40 has actually been one of my greatest blessings! God didn’t cause my stroke but He allowed it to happen so I would learn in ways I never would have otherwise. I tell everyone I meet that if I could go back and change that July night, I wouldn’t because of how my life has changed for the better. 

The apostle Paul, who wrote much of the New Testament, discussed his own “thorn in the flesh’ (2 Cor. 12:7). While he never identifies his exact ailment, his suffering kept him from pride and reminded him that his ministry success lay in Christ. In Romans 5:3-5, Paul encouraged Christians not to miss the opportunities that walking through suffering can bring. 

Before my injury, I spent most of my life rebuffing any attempt to get close to me. I could pray for others and serve but didn’t want others to do the same for me. But I have learned (albeit the hard way) that we need others. We need community to thrive. I believe God uses others to heal us emotionally, relationally, and spiritually but it’s so easy to get comfortable in our own little world. 

Our circumstances/plight/struggle can become our identity. When we allow our losses, struggles, and secrets to keep us in isolation, we can’t achieve our full potential and healing. Proverbs 27:17 states, “as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”  In other words, those with deep and godly relationships help one another improve. When we use our situations to connect with the hurting, offering support, information, and resources, we can help them build new lives and realize their highest new capabilities and how God is always walking right beside them.

It’s with that faith I can say I am healed- emotionally, spiritually, mentally, in my relationships with others, and, despite my outward appearance, even physically. It is truly healing redefined. Far too often when we hear a pastor or speaker ask if anyone needs prayer for healing, our default answer is “I’m physically healthy so I don’t.”

Can I challenge you to reach out to someone in your community and ask them to pray for your emotional, mental, spiritual or relational healing? Our Heavenly Father is waiting to guide us and to love us as much in the future as He is in the here and now. He fills those places in us that loss hollows out, shining His light on the road ahead. Psalm 119:105 sums it up beautifully- “Your word is a lamp onto my feet (the now) and a light onto my path (the future).”

Get to Know Kelly!

Kelly Campbell survived a massive stroke at 40 that left her physically disabled but with a passion for prayer and other survivors. She is currently completing her Masters of Divinity in Healthcare Chaplaincy and serves on the board of directors for the Brain Injury Association of Georgia (BIAG).

Kelly currently leads the prayer team at her church in Woodstock, GA. She is a single mother of adult sons and has two beautiful daughters-in-law. She leads a number of brain injury support groups around her home state of Georgia and loves to use her testimony to help others.

Verses taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Make sure to check out the latest Faith Over Fear Podcast episode:

https://www.lifeaudio.com/faith-over-fear/the-courage-to-surrender-to-jesus-ep-94

When Today’s demands fight for every inch of our time

Looking at my to-do list, I hate to say this, but our agenda reveals what, or who, we love most and where we place our trust. This really hit me this morning as I read through a particular passage of Scripture. It came from Mark 9:30-31. It states:

“Leaving that region, they traveled through Galilee. Jesus didn’t want anyone to know He was there, for He wanted to spend more time with His disciples and teach them. He said to them, ‘The Son of Man is going to be betrayed into the hands of His enemies. He will be killed, but three days later He will rise from the dead’” (NLT). 

Prior to this moment, Jesus and His disciples had been engaged in hugely significant ministry. Christ had been teaching, healing, and liberating thousands of deeply hurting people. He was changing lives with a single touch and powerful words of truth. From a human perspective, that was precisely where He and His disciples needed to stay. Who else could the people turn to? It wasn’t like there were other miracle workers wandering about. 

At least, not yet. But Christ knew something His disciples and the crowds didn’t—He was about to share His power and His mission with twelve hand-selected men. Therefore, His and their temporary absence served a beautiful eternal purpose: multiplication. That’s always God’s heart. He takes what little we offer, be that time, resources, or skills, and makes it more than enough. 

I know this. I truly believe God will accomplish through me every task He assigns to me, despite my weaknesses, mistakes, and insufficiencies. I’ve also learned, whatever I pursue apart from Him, more often than not, leads to little more than exhaustion and feelings of defeat. In other words, I don’t need to cram my schedule or strive to meet a certain level of success or productivity. Doing so could, in fact, hinder my progress and my call. I achieve far more when I learn to hit pause, take time to nourish my soul, and to better equip my teammates and myself. 

My struggles to do so indicate a few things: That I’ve come to rely, and therefore place more trust in, myself, rather than God; and that perhaps I’ve given my heart to someone or something else. 

As if I could possibly know or do more than Almighty Creator God or could find soul-deep fulfillment in anything apart from Him. I recognize the foolishness of both scenarios. I also realize my sovereign God can and will do so much more through my surrender than I’ll ever accomplish through my efforts alone. In the process, He’ll fill me with indescribable, inextinguishable joy and peace and provide increased intimacy with Him. My goal, then, is to align my day and priorities to reflect those truths. 

In Mark 9, Christ provides a perfect example for how one can live with Spirit-led effectiveness. 

First, He knew and remained focused upon His ultimate goal. He didn’t come to alleviate our pain and make things easier in the present, although He did, and still does, do so for countless people. He came to earth to reveal the path to eternal life and shatter every chain that holds us in bondage to sin and death. 

We have a similar mission—to point others, with our words and our actions, to God’s free gift of salvation, pushing back our world’s darkness with light. But He’s given each of us distinct roles to play in His big-picture mission. People who we are uniquely wired to reach, who will relate to our story, voice, and presentation. 

We can’t do all that God asks and fulfill the hope-filled plans He crafted specifically for us if we’re unclear regarding His will. If we’re unsure of what ideas to run with and which ones to drop, we might end up sprinting for weeks in the wrong direction. Similarly, we can’t simultaneously chase after everything we think, according to our wisdom, might bring us joy or success, as our culture defines it, and live a life pleasing to God. The moment we try, we become double-minded and therefore unstable in all our ways (James 1:6-8). 

This leads to Christ’s second example for leaving an eternal impact: prayer. Scripture tells us that Jesus often arose early in the morning, before people were awake and could make demands on His time, to communicate with His Father. He was also known to slip away, as needed, to refresh His soul through that intimate connection. 

God invites us to do the same. To carve out space each day to rest in His presence. It’s in that sacred place that we gain clarity regarding our mission and the strength to carry it out. As we offer our heart, wholly to Him, He purges the idolatry, our lesser loves, lingering in the deepest crevices of our soul and re-ignites our desire for Him. 

Third, Jesus maintained a long-term perspective. He saw, and cared deeply for, all the needs He encountered each day. But He also understood how quickly and vastly the Gospel would spread, once He trained, empowered, and unleashed His disciples. Therefore, He was willing to hit pause, at the height of His ministry, with all the seemingly urgent demands, to invest in twelve ordinary men with high potential. 

Similarly, we should always be searching for and investing in someone and allowing others to invest in us. For me, this means slowing down ministry endeavors, limiting our production calendar, and potentially even allowing certain portions of our organization to halt completely, in order to build relationships with and better equip my team. 

Sometimes, like now, when we’re planning for our first ever fundraising gala, this can feel frightening. However, my fear only indicates my lack of trust, my propensity for self-reliance, and idols, such as people-pleasing or self-elevation, that I must renounce. This ultimately involves dying to myself so that Christ might live through me. 

The more we understand and embrace our God-given roles and the more time we spend in prayer and in investing in others, the greater our effectiveness, eternal impact, intimacy with our Savior, and our joy and fulfillment. 

We live in a hectic, fast-paced, demanding culture, but that doesn’t mean we must accept its invitation to frantically follow. In fact, we mustn’t. Instead, may God give us the wisdom, clarity, desire and strength to do all that He asks and only what He asks of us. May we follow the example set by Christ, our world’s most competent leader, to make room, during our busiest seasons, to fill our souls and pour into the souls of others. And as we do, may God use every insecure and anxiety-filled moment to reveal the cracks in our faith and all the idols we’ve allowed to occupy His rightful place in our hearts. 

Let’s talk about this! Do you find it challenging to relinquish your daily schedule to God? If so, why do you think this might be? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below.

And speaking of surrender and trusting Christ more fully, make sure to check out the latest Faith Over episode:

https://www.lifeaudio.com/faith-over-fear/the-courage-to-fully-rely-of-god-ep-92

And speaking of agendas and calendars, make sure to mark yours for Wholly Loved’s upcoming Gala and silent auction! If you’re not local and can’t make it, no worries! We’ll have items you can bit for online.

Living with effectiveness rather than regret

Years ago, while fostering a particularly challenging teenager, a youth pastor made a statement I wish I’d paid more attention to. He said, in essence, “Never jeopardize the gospel.” At the time, I didn’t fully understand his meaning. Unfortunately, rather than pausing to prayerfully unpack his advice, I blindly, and forcefully pressed ahead, focusing on so many issues that felt super important in that season but that I’ve now come to realize hindered my access to the kid’s heart.

If asked, I would’ve told you, emphatically, of how desperately I longed to help this youth heal. I might’ve even said that I was committed to doing whatever it took to make that happen. But that wasn’t entirely true. In reality, my pride, desire for personal comfort, and aversion to pain frequently tainted my actions and confused and distorted my perception.

As a result, I routinely pushed the teen away from myself, relationship, and true and lasting change. I fear I created barriers between Him and the God able to heal and transform as well. 

A while ago, God reminded me of that situation while I wrestled with Him, in anxiety and angst, over another individual I believed He was asking me to walk beside. I had said some things that felt so necessary in the moment. And if you had asked me then, as the words built within my mind, ready to spill from my mouth, I could’ve provided numerous reasons as to why. I probably could’ve offered Scripture to back up each one as well—fully convinced of my rational. 

And utterly blind to the state of my heart, which I can now see was filled with love, yes, compassion, for sure, but also fear, selfishness, and pride. Jeremiah 17:9 states, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (NIV).

Who is it our heart deceives? You and I. We might, at times, mislead others, but we’re most skilled at fooling ourselves. As a result, we often remain oblivious to our true, and often mixed, motives and are unable to discern them on our own. With Christ, we fare better in that God has given us new life, increased spiritual understanding and insight, and a God-given desire to please Him. But that doesn’t mean our actions and perceptions, our view of ourselves and others, immediately become accurate and honorable. 

Prior to conversion, many of us spent a lifetime absorbing all the false ideas and perspectives of our culture. Negative behaviors and attitudes have in many ways become so ingrained within us, it will take our entire lives for God to replace those lies with truth. 

In 1 Timothy, while instructing his “true son in the faith,” the apostle Paul told Timothy to encourage those in the Ephesus not to get caught up in pointless disputes, adding, “The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith” (NIV). 

That’s God’s call for me and you as well, that we would display the type of love that flows from: 

A pure heart: one completely free of sin. I’m not sure if I’ve ever reached that place. But I believe, if I continue to seek God, to meditate on Scripture, and learn to more consistently yield to and rely on Him, His righteousness in me will increase, progressively overpowering the residual ugliness within me.

A good conscience. A deep and growing awareness of what does and doesn’t please God and a commitment to pursue His will and His heart.

A sincere faith. Annihilating every trace of hypocrisy within, asking God to reveal and destroy my hidden agendas while igniting a passion for the things of eternity that are truly worth living for. 

We know, based on who Paul was and what he wrote in various places throughout Scripture, he wasn’t telling Timothy to forsake or downplay truth. Rather, I believe he was saying, “Make sure when you choose to fight, you fight for those things that move you and others toward increased life in Christ.” 

While each component Paul mentioned is an important spiritual trait, it’s the condition of my heart that tends to trip me up most. Honestly, I’m not sure if it’s ever truly pure, completely free from selfishness, pride, and all the other self-defeating, relationship-harming sins that so grieve my father and have a tendency to inflict such pain. The more I recognize this, however, the more I remain alert to just how mixed my motives truly are, the more I’m able to prepare, through prayer, Bible reading, meditating on truth, and yielding to the power of the Holy Spirit. 

The moment I forget this, or think I’ve arrived at a certain level of spiritual maturity and therefore can quickly rush ahead based on what I already know or have already read, I almost inevitably wound someone else. 

This irresponsible tendency grieves God, inevitably damages others, and deeply saddens me. And while I recognize I’ll probably never experience complete victory over my sin, this side of heaven, by God’s grace, I’m determined to improve.

I want to heed the advice provided by that youth pastor so long ago to prioritize the gospel, God’s free gift of life, above everything else. 

Therefore, I must: 

Seek then following Christ’s wisdom regarding when to speak, what to say, and when to remain silent. Learn to doubt my perspective so that I will more consistently seek Christ’s. Slow down and recognize that most of what feel so urgent today truly isn’t. (God is rarely, if ever, in a hurry, perhaps because He knows the outcome of that “crisis” today is much less consequential than the state of the individual’s soul.Regularly invite God to search and then cleanse my heart, knowing He will find gunk there, guaranteed, and that gunk, if not purged, will cause harm. 

Because I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather live with effectiveness than regret.  

What are some ways you prioritize the gospel in your relationships and interactions? Share your thoughts and insights with us in the comments below. And if you haven’t done so, make sure to check out the latest Faith Over Fear episode.

https://www.lifeaudio.com/faith-over-fear/episodes

The Danger of Quick-Fix Mentality When Sharing Truth

(This first published in September, 2018.)

I can easily fall prey to our “fix-it-quick”, culture, tossing out truths that are, well, true, but fail to hit their mark. In fact, there’ve been times when I’ve caused more harm than good. When I’ve hurt others and damaged relationships. Usually my motives were good. I desperately wanted friends and loved ones to come to Jesus. I wanted them to experience the life, healing, and freedom only He can offer.

But in my zeal (often coupled by fear), I took off running and verse touting and left the Holy Spirit far behind. I was convinced I was right. After all, I only spoke truth, and truth sets people free, right?

Besides, Jesus never shied away from hard conversations, nor did He worry about offending people. When He encountered the adulterous woman, didn’t He tell her to go and sin no more? And the “invalid” He healed by the pool of Bethesda to stop sinning?

Yes and yes, but He also told the Samaritan woman who’d cycled through men (or perhaps had been discarded by them) to go and grab her husband. And the tax collector in Matthew nine to “follow Him.”

In other words, Jesus addressed each individual individually, speaking directly to their deepest needs, deceptions, and unique stumbling blocks. But He had something you and I don’t—insight. Jesus knew the history, hurts, and fallacies each of them held. In fact, He knew each man and woman better than they knew themselves. So when He spoke, He always hit His mark.

You and I don’t have that insight, nor do we always invest the time necessary to gain it. At least. When engaging others in spiritual conversations, I didn’t even consider there might be deeper issues involved.

But then God reminded me of my story. Through I trusted in Jesus for salvation at a young age, I didn’t begin growing in Him until my early adult years. Actually, for a while I spiraled in the opposite direction, living a drunken, partying, throw-myself-away type of lifestyle. By the time I met my husband, I was consumed with shame and self-loathing.

Around then, pastors started coming around. Not just one, but two. One would come knocking at our door, would step inside and talk with us a bit, and then leave. Another took my husband and I out to lunch with him and his wife. I don’t remember much of what either of them said, but I do recall the warmth in their smiles and the easy way they conversed. I remember the way they made me feel—safe. Loved. Welcomed.

The interesting thing is, my husband I were living together, unmarried, at the time. In other words, living in sin. (Though my worldview was so warped, I didn’t think a thing of our lifestyle. It seemed normal to me.)

Had those men come at me with “truth”, they only would’ve deepened my shame and pushed me away. They would’ve confirmed to me what I already believed—that I was worthless and disgusting. Bad. Not just that I was doing bad, but that I was bad. I understood that I was a sinner. What I didn’t understand, what I needed to see, was grace.

That’s exactly what those pastors showed me. With every interaction, they revealed the gentle love of Christ. A love that beckoned and drew me, that healed me bit by bit, and ultimately, transformed me.

Because Jesus knew my story. He knew what was keeping me from living in His will. While it’s true my lifestyle was very contrary to God’s desire for me, this wasn’t because I was actively trying to rebel against Him. Rather, it was because I’d given up on myself.

I needed Jesus, revealed through the grace-filled actions of others, to rekindle my hope so that, eventually, I had the desire to reach for life.

Please don’t misunderstand. I’m not saying we should never speak truth nor that we should accept or coddle sinful behavior. What I am saying is we should approach each broken, hurting child of God carefully and prayerfully, being careful to follow the Holy Spirit’s leading.

I often think of how I might talk to someone standing on a rooftop, ready to jump. I think of how alert, how attentive, how “others-focused” I’d be. My greatest desire in that moment would be not to say anything that would tip them over the edge and to coax them, ever-so-gently towards life.

That might seem like a drastic analogy, until we remember, with every interaction, real lives are at stake, lives that will either spend eternity with Jesus or separated from Him. That doesn’t mean we should become paralyzed by fear of messing up. But it does mean we should ensure, with each conversation, that God, and not our pride or our fear, is doing the leading. Only He knows when to speak truth and how much, when to listen, and when to simply say, “I love you, and I’m here.”

Let’s talk about this! Is there someone you’re trying to reach out to? How can you build trust and get to know them better—beyond surface level? Would you add anything to my thoughts? Do you perhaps disagree? Share your thoughts and feelings in the comments below.

I forgot to share my news!

Hello, lovely loyal readers! In my post today, I forgot to tell you my fun news! My latest release hit the shelves on Tuesday. And because my husband is the adorable, supportive man that he is, he went and snagged a picture of himself with the book.

Her Small Town Refuge:

To secure the future she’s been wishing for,

she must earn her boss’s trust.

Escaping to the Texas Hill Country with her daughter for a vet tech internship is Stephanie Thornton’s chance at a safer life. But when medicine goes missing from Caden Stoughton’s struggling vet clinic, all evidence points to Stephanie. With the new life she’s been searching for hanging in the balance, Stephanie must convince Caden to trust her with his business…and his heart.

From Love Inspired: Uplifting stories of faith, forgiveness and hope.

You can buy it HERE.

What plotting, pushing, & striving reveal regarding our trust

Our response to setbacks, challenges, and attacks reveal how well we know and how deeply we trust Christ. When others come against us, do we truly believe He’s our defender? When someone or something threatens our job, will we trust He’s our provider? And what about when our boss gives someone else that promotion we’ve worked tirelessly for, the one we’re certain will catapult our dreams? 

Will we rest and wait on God or clench our fists and fight for “what’s ours”?

Years ago, I sensed God calling me into greater ministry, but I didn’t receive much more information than that. Unfortunately, instead of patiently waiting for His revelation, I began planning and plotting my way. I determined precisely where I needed to go and what steps I needed to take in order to get there. And when doors remained closed all around me? I pushed and shoved my way into full-on striving mode. As a result, what God had intended to bring me deep joy and fulfilment became ugly and exhausting in so many ways. 

We cannot strive and yield, and when we’re not yielded, we’re far less apt to hear God’s voice and experience His power in and through us. What’s more, our actions reveal places of doubt; areas in our heart where we haven’t given God full control.  

At the time, I felt certain I battled against others—those I thought were holding me back. But I was actually opposing all-powerful, all-knowing God. Through my behavior, I was declaring Him false and unfaithful. 

When, in stress and angst, I fought for a certain opportunity that perpetually seemed out of reach, I demonstrated that I didn’t truly believe in the goodness, wisdom, and power of God. Because if I had, I would’ve rested in Him, finding joy in that season, trusting my Savior to lead me, always toward His very best.

Trusting that He truly knew what that best was and had the power to bring His good and pleasing, soul-fulfilling will to pass. 

This seems to be the lesson He taught Miriam, a woman chosen by Him to help lead the Israelite nation. Initially, she served God and her people with joy. After God conquered her people’s enemies in Exodus 15, she “took a tambourine and led all the women as they played their tambourines and danced” (v.20). Leading them in song, she became the first worship leader and also the first female prophet mentioned in Scripture.

National leader.

Worship leader.

Woman who spoke God’s Words to His’s people.

What influence she held! I imagine she felt incredible joy to be used by Him during such a pivotal and celebratory time in history. 

But then time dragged on and she became discontent with her role and her younger brother’s leadership. Perhaps she didn’t always agree with his decisions. Maybe she doubted whether or not he consistently heard from God. And as the oldest sibling, she might have harbored seeds of resentment that eventually began to bloom into rebellion. 

Whatever the cause, she grew dissatisfied with her God-assigned role. 

She might have allowed her growing discontentment to convince her that her position hadn’t in fact been God-assigned, or that God’s assignment wasn’t in fact good and life-giving. That she deserved more. 

She certainly could’ve provided ample reasons as to why. She’d been the one to save her baby brother from death by drowning or crocodile. She’d also spent nearly all her life living in slavery while he enjoyed forty years of luxury in the enemy’s palace. Besides, she was just as much of a prophet as her now grown brother. 

Apparently, she shared her complaints with Aaron, her other sibling, because they fell into cahoots together and said, “Has the Lord spoken only through Moses? Hasn’t He spoken through us, too?” (Num. 11:2). Their words suggest they were contemplating usurping their baby brother’s leadership.

But they couldn’t, because Moses’s authority came from God. And God made it clear, He would not tolerate Miriam’s fight for power. He dealt with her desire to elevate herself, in essence, above the sovereignty of God, by humbling her in a public and shameful way: He gave her leprosy, which caused her to live in quarantine, removed from the camp she’d so desperately wanted to run, for seven days.

Long enough for the truth to sink in: She could not force God’s hand.

She could, however, receive joy, fulfillment, and intimacy with Him, not through striving or performing, but through surrendered obedience. 

The same is true for us. Sometimes, when promotions and raises pass us by or sinful humans seem to sabotage or perhaps even take credit for our hard work and success, we forget. 

We forget that God is good. That He sees everything you and I experience and encounter, along with all that’s up ahead. We forget that He has a plan for us, is molding us to fulfill that plan, and has promised to lead us toward His very best. 

For Miriam, that meant serving as a national and influential leader under her younger brother’s authority. For me, that meant repenting of my sin, acknowledging my ignorance, and choosing, anew, to trust and follow my God however and whenever he led. 

What might this mean for you? Is there an area you’ve tried to force? Influence you’ve fought to hold? And if so, what does that say regarding your view of God? 

Yet, the better question is: what might our days, our energy and stress level, look like if we regularly traded our striving for yielding, our discontentment for trust, and our pride for intimacy with the One who gave His life that we might truly live? 

Omaha area friends, save the date:

Find out more HERE.

Connect with me on Facebook and follow me on Instagram.

Make sure to check out the latest Faith Over Fear podcast episode:

https://www.lifeaudio.com/faith-over-fear/trusting-god-to-hear-you-ep-89

Check out the latest Your Daily Bible Verse podcast episode:

https://www.lifeaudio.com/your-daily-bible-verse/

Walking through life’s hardships Guest Post by Chaka Heinze

In many of my conversations with those who are grieving or feel as if they’re losing hope, I often hear self-condemnation. I hear them place judgment on their feelings and struggle, and this grieves me because I know how contrary this is to Christ’s heart for them. I also know how much harder our journeys become when we view ourselves and our emotions so critically. I’ve heard it said that much of the anxiety we experience stems from unresolved grief, which I take to mean sorrow pushed down, suppressed, and ignored.

Healing doesn’t come from denial or a determination of the will but rather from leaning hard into Jesus and following His lead, however He leads and at whatever pace He deems best.

Walking Through Life’s Hardships by Chaka Heinze

Ever since my son died three years ago, I’ve struggled with some fear of the future. 

The crazy thing is I’m a champion of believing and telling people about God’s goodness. I will shout from the rooftops that I serve a God who loves me more than anyone else ever could and who proved it once and for all time on the cross.  

He has blessed me more than I deserve, surrounded me with incredible people, and held me through the darkest times. 

He is God. My Rock. My Fortress. My Redeemer. 

And yet too often, I live with a palpable fear of the future God has planned for me. 

Not my ultimate future. I know heaven will be glorious. Jesus will right every wrong, and joy will reign. My son, Landen, will greet me with the hugest hug and a smile on those dimpled cheeks. 

My heavenly future is secure. 

It’s my future in the here and now that worries me. Thoughts of what comes next can cause me to recoil within myself and run to safer distractions. 

A valid question might arise in your mind, “If she believes God is who He says He is, why does she struggle with any kind of fear?” 

 The truth is that in the past our very good and gracious God allowed intense pain in my life. I followed Him, and He led me into painful places. I trusted Him, and He allowed me to endure heartrending sorrow. I praised His name, and He still asked me to experience the very worst thing a parent can endure. 

The future brings a possibility of hurt. Even as a follower of Christ, I still live in a broken world, and bad things happen here. 

Chaka Heinze

I’m not going to give you a pat answer. Some hurts are deeper than a simple prayer, a casual scripture, or a kind word can reach. There are wounds that God Himself must tend to in His divine sovereignty and in His own time. Mine have been some of those. 

I don’t have all the answers, but I want to share what I am doing. I have decided to imitate my Jesus.  

The Bible says, “And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart (Hebrews 12:1-3, NIV).” 

What made Jesus leave heaven’s perfection to come down to earth and endure a brutal death He didn’t deserve for crimes He never committed? We were the joy He clung to on that cursed tree. As He hung there your face and mine were among the pictures He saw in His mind’s eye. For Him, rescuing us and getting us safely home was worth sacrificing His everything.  

So I have decided in this time of uncertainty—with my future unfolding without my little boy in it—like Jesus, I will fix my eyes on the joy set before me.  

Jesus is that joy. With my far-off gaze on Him, I can see Him beyond my fear, pain, and wounds. 

I could end this by saying, “Fix your eyes on him.” And that would be a good platitude—a healthy goal. But Instead of an answer right now, I want to offer an invitation. I would rather show the things God is teaching me and allow him to use my story to benefit someone else.  

I want to offer you a ringside seat and reveal the good, the bad, and the downright ugly of the last few years adjusting to this new reality without my son.  

If you are facing fear, hardship, or heartache, perhaps we can walk together on a journey toward Jesus. I would love to join you in prayer and hope for whatever God might be doing in your life right now. 

Get to Know Chaka!

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Chaka is a gifted author and speaker with Wholly Loved Ministries. She is a wife and mother of five who is intimately familiar with God’s love and faithfulness during times of struggle. The loss of her eleven-year-old son in 2018 served to increase her heart for encouraging and mentoring women facing hardships in their lives. Chaka is active in her local church, serves as a MOPS mentor, and is eager to glorify God with her writing. Find her at https://www.chakaheinze.com/

Listen to her grief journey Faith Over Fear episode 78 titled the Courage to Grieve

https://www.lifeaudio.com/faith-over-fear/the-courage-to-grieve-ep-78https://www.lifeaudio.com/your-daily-bible-verse/