Jeanne McElvaney's Blog

June 30, 2019

Anger Can Be a Friendly Ally

Many of us avoid anger, believing it reflects poorly on our character. And though this emotion can cause physical and emotional pain, it can also be a worthy ally. It shows up to tell us when a circumstance isn’t honoring our spirit. It asks us to set new, uncomfortable boundaries. It’s a road sign to guide us and help us take care of ourselves.

For some, it’s a persistent, stormy presence in our life. We don’t recognize the message it’s bringing us, so we try to rein in. We try to manage it, compress it, ignore it… and then it becomes a dark cloud casting shadows on everything we do.

Others don’t recognize this empowering ally when shows up to support us. Women often cry when they bump into angry feelings. Instead of being able to tap into this empowering energy, they feel vulnerability in the swirl of emotions they can’t articulate.

Anger can be an elusive, frightening emotion. Growing up, I witnessed it blowing up without apparent reason. I saw it used to terrify, abuse, and cower. It soaked into the fabric of my family until it dampened even the sunniest moments.

I grew up believing anger was a malignancy to be avoided at all costs. Though I couldn’t stop it in others, I became a powerful sheriff arresting any lawless anger that threatened to escape in my own reactions. I learned how to capture it and put it away.

I completely shut down this emotion not realizing it’s essential when we want to embrace our authentic self. That it’s a self-awareness gift when we learn how to express anger in ways that honor our relationships. That it’s a protective energy as we find ways to explore and express what makes us unique.

Whether you have to dig deep to find your anger or simply acknowledge what has been dogging you for years, seeing anger as an empowering energy will change your life. Knowing it won’t harm those you love if you use it as a compass rather than a whip will open up new paths to your dreams. Trusting it to guide your choices will protect you.

For some people, anger becomes a dark, uncontrollable force, but that doesn’t need to be your story. It’s not a reason to reject what can be a friendly energy. Invite yourself to become acquainted with this very natural, necessary emotion. Travel toward it, so you can embrace its empowering possibilities. Recognize it can look like a friendly force.

Jeanne McElvaney ~ Author and Energy Guide

Light in the Shadows
Ignite Changes Using Energy

Time Slipping

Old Maggie’s Spirit Whispers
Spirit Unbroken: Abby’s Story

GoToSpirit.comJeanne McElvaney
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June 21, 2019

Our Own Cinderella Moment

If I had a magic wand, I would wave away the very natural and usual resistance we have about healing from our childhood wounds. I know how aversion can diminish our life while making us feel steady. I also know the gifts we receive with each step we take. When we quit avoiding and update the information trapped in our experience, we are empowered.

I wish I was Cinderella's  fairy godmother and could wave my wand so every adult could ride their own pumpkin carriage into their past, feeling confident they would be going to the glitter and joy of their authentic selves. With a little magic, they would know our childhood holds a wealth of information ready to empowers us. They would recognize our youth guarded our personal spirit until we were ready to express our inner world. They would realize our past has answers to behaviors we find confusing.

Cinderella’s reward for daring to imagine there was more came with the perfect fit of a glass slipper. It took her to a future of promise. We also have glass slippers waiting for us. We can find a future that feels like a perfect fit when we look into the past and bring new perspective to those moments that profoundly affected us. Like the time my mother bumped into a rolled down map while standing in line in her classroom. She could still hear the clatter of it falling mingled with the laughter of her classmates when I was in 6th grade. A single moment made her feel too paralyzed to be in front of a group of people for the rest of her life.

During our childhood, we accepted the inadvertent humiliations. We had no way of escaping abuses. We did the best we could as classmates, friends, and siblings triggered shame as they struggled to find their way. These moments often took us to beliefs about trust, self-esteem, and happiness still twisting our choices long after the event.
Light in the Shadows
We are part of an ocean of energy where there is no dimension of time so what happened back then feels like it’s happening now. It’s never too late to walk barefoot on paths revealing our past experiences. It’s always the right time to explore empowering information to gain insights. Only then can we slip on our own glass slipper and dance through our days without blisters.

Jeanne McElvaney ~ Author and Energy Guide
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June 10, 2019

Confusion About Finding Happiness

Learning about being happy in life is often like finding our way through a maze. As often as not, our childhood didn’t give us a compass. Many of our impressions and beliefs about ourselves were born when we felt powerless. We assumed adults were all-knowing and right. There were social rules, expectations, and pressures. We arrived at adulthood carrying a backpack of misconceptions about ourselves.

In dysfunctional families, the opportunity to explore our choices was ripped out of our control. Many of us were required to participate in dynamics that didn’t serve us. Some of us were trapped by fear or the power of others. We were tossed into the stormy waters of family conflict and challenges before we knew how to build a boat that celebrated our personal journey. And so we did what we could; we swam in circles of confusion trying to stay afloat.

Our personal spirit was often twisted beyond recognition, so we could fit in. Sometimes it was tucked away, and we became disconnected from the valuable information our spirit could give us about happiness. Without that inner wisdom, we turned to others to define what would make us happy. Some of us were taught our looks were a key. Others learned silence and compliance would serve them. We might have learned physical force would bring us the happiness of power. For some kids, good grades or their skill in sports or their popularity at school was held up as the road to happiness. In this kind of bewildering world of childhood, we didn’t realize we were incredibly, beautifully, naturally multidimensional.

Happiness of love was another casualty of the confusion we experienced. Where we should have found safety, care, celebration, and protection within our family, many of us experienced betrayal and being used under the banner of affection. As a child, it became part of the flavor we associated with love. Then it often soured into repeating, perplexing choices we made in the years that followed.

Our childhood may have set the stage for confusion about how to live in the energy of happiness, but each of us has an empowering path we can follow when we leave those years behind us. We can explore what makes our heart sing and let that guide us. We can embrace what makes us smile when no one else is looking. We can ignite what we like to do without need for payment or applause. Within these feelings, our spirit is talking to us and guiding us to happiness.Ignite Changes Using Energy: A Guide for Letting Go of Old Thinking
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Published on June 10, 2019 00:22 Tags: being-happy, energy-healing, jeanne-mcelvaney, personal-growth, women-s-empowerment

May 28, 2019

Reconsider Play Time

In our every-day-lives, we often find ourselves walking a million miles around old beliefs that no longer serve us. Deeply embedded, they are so familiar we no longer recognize that we can question them. See them from a new perspective. Change them. They are so solid, it can be challenging to define them, unsettling to consider dismantling them. This happens even though a belief is hooked into current responses and choices that no longer serve us.

Like Grumpy, Bashful, and Sleepy, we have accepted labels connected to our beliefs and assume it’s who we are. Those around us share our belief and, without intention, anchor it. This familiar energy wraps around us giving us the comfort of a cocoon. But overtime, we become trapped, unable to move freely into change that can enrich our lives.

Fortunately, we are often given the gift of unexpected challenges. The upheaval forces us to recognize what we’ve avoided. It gives us a relationship magnifying glass, so we can see our circumstance more clearly. It invites us to step off our familiar path and dare to seek answers that no longer fit under the umbrella of our old belief.

If you’re feeling uprooted or tossed around by a storm in your life, it’s natural to dig in and get serious. Yet, this is the perfect time to play. It’s in this kind of energy field that you’ll experience insights that will dismantle the beliefs that are holding you in place.

Never doubt the power of play time… that kind of time when there’s no purpose, no clock is ticking, and you’re exploring your potential without needing to know the outcome. In these moments outside your usual routines, you are more open to the unknown. You’re more willing to move through portals holding possibilities.Ignite Changes Using Energy: A Guide for Letting Go of Old ThinkingIgnite Changes Using Energy: A Guide for Letting Go of Old Thinking
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March 10, 2019

Old Thinking or New Thinking

We’re in a Christopher Columbus kind of time. Back then, many believed the world was flat, but he caught the winds of new thinking and set sail into new possibilities. Today, old thinking seduces us into believing we are responding to what is happening around us. Yet Einstein has shown us a new way of thinking so we can create our reality.

“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.” Albert Einstein.

It’s natural to look at our current circumstance and resist this new thinking. Looking at what we don’t like, what is challenging us, what we want to change, it’s inviting to believe we’re experiencing what was thrown at us in spite of our best efforts. It’s comforting to lean into the old thinking and continue on a familiar path. But if we want a shift in our life, new thinking shows us the way.

First, we honor the reality we’ve created! It might have some weeds that need to be pulled, but it’s also filled with blossoms we treasure, enjoy, and need. Those weeds reflect past choices and outdated needs. They served us at one time, but they no longer need to determine our experience. For that we can use our imagination to create a map into a new reality.

“Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.” Albert Einstein

To map a new future, let your imagination be the captain of your ship. Logic is the product of what you know and what you’ve experienced. It can only give you more of the same. Your imagination is an ally of your personal spirit and will celebrate what tickles empowerment and satisfaction.

Imagination needs no plans. It recognizes that when you ‘match the frequency of the reality you want, you cannot help but get that reality’. In other words, what you’re thinking, feeling, and believing creates an energy pattern that automatically shapes your future.

Imagination is playful and “Scientists have recently determined that it takes approximately 400 repetitions to create a new synapse in the brain unless it is done with play, in which case, it takes between 10-20 repetitions.” (Dr. Karyn Purvis). Playing gets you what you want faster than trying hard.

Imagination is connected to joyful freedom. And that is an emotional ingredient we want to weave into the new reality we’re creating.

Old thinking or new thinking? One brings the relief of what we know. The other opens our future to new possibilities.

Jeanne McElvaney, Author and Energy Guide
“Light in the Shadows”
“Ignite Changes Using Energy”
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Published on March 10, 2019 15:01 Tags: change, empowerment, imagination

August 28, 2016

Confirming Our Reality

Who you think you are is creating an energy pattern that is shaping your future. The labels you give yourself are post-its you wear to get confirmation from the outer world.Ignite Changes Using Energy: A Guide for Letting Go of Old Thinking
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Published on August 28, 2016 12:08 Tags: change, energy, personal-growth

June 23, 2016

Be Boldly Vulnerable

When you feel vulnerable, you can be sure you are allowing something new in your life. Boldly embrace this companion of change. It will help you release the need to control a journey that is empowered by open-minded flow.
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April 18, 2016

Wounds From the Past

Feeling physically good and emotionally recognized can be elusive for survivors of childhood abuse. Buried deep inside is a belief that if we make a scene or express our feelings, we will be pushed away, not love, ignored, or harmed.

We assume it's about us rather than recognizing it's a reflections of our abuser's dysfunction. Healing is about releasing this wound from our past.

Spirit Unbroken: Abby's Story
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New Path

Old Maggie's Spirit WhispersEnergy shifts when we erase an emotional connection and start creating a new emotional link. It's like a path... every time we go to old feelings, we make that path path easier to travel to in the future.

But, if we create a new, vibrant path with thoughts and feelings supporting the change we want, the old one will eventually fade and we can experience a new reality.
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March 10, 2016

Finding the Right Person

A big part of our healing journey is finding the right people to walk beside us. To make this happen, we have to use our perceptions, recognize we have choices, and make our needs important.

It's all new stuff for survivors of abuse. It takes
the courage of a hero.

Spirit Unbroken: Abby's Story
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