Will Hartzell-Baird's Blog, page 5
November 18, 2015
YNG1TAS17L Update
One of the interesting things about the OnePlus One is that it's the first smart phone to come loaded with CyanogenMod. I've only had mine for a short time, and have recently had the pleasure of updating it to CM12S YNG1TAS17L, so I thought I'd offer a little guide for anyone in the same boat. It's actually a rather simple process:
When a new OTA update is released, you should get a notification inviting you to update your phone. This can sometimes take a few days, or even a few weeks. When you get it, just click the notification and follow the directions on the screen to download and install the update.
A few seconds after hitting the "Install" button, your screen should go black without warning, and your phone will boot up again. This is perfectly normal, and is not at all an omen of things to come.
Shortly after your phone finishes booting up again, you should be prompted to install the update again. Conveniently, all you have to do is repeat steps 1 & 2. After doing this a few times, you'll probably get frustrated and want to give up. At this point, the easiest approach is to give up.
Repeat steps 1 - 3 at random intervals over the next several months, punctuating your efforts with enthusiastic swearing. You may be tempted to skip the swearing, but this would be unwise.
After approximately six months, download the zip file at http://builds.cyngn.com/cyanogen-os/bacon/12.0-YNG1TAS17L-bacon/e816218e... to the internal storage of your phone, then reboot into recovery mode. Select "Apply Update," then "Internal Storage" from the menu, and then navigate to the zip file. Press "Apply Update," and then "Yes."
A few seconds into the update process, your phone should restart unexpectedly. At this stage, you might be concerned that this will end up like steps 1-3 again. Don't worry; this will be much worse.
When your phone starts up again - ha! Just kidding. Your phone won't start up again. It'll actually get stuck at the boot screen indefinitely. Your phone is now what is referred to as a "brick."
Reboot your phone into recovery mode again, but this time, you'll want to do a Factory Reset. This will delete all or most of your data. Since you didn't back up your data beforehand, this is irreversible.
When the reset is complete, there will be a few months' worth of OTA updates to install. Fortunately, these should install without incident, which will leave you with the rest of your night free to spend the several hours it will take to reinstall and configure all of your apps again.
And there you go! In nine easy steps and a few month's effort, your phone should be in working order, and may even have a few new features that, in retrospect, you didn’t really need and aren't that helpful. Congratulations!
October 11, 2015
Never Back Down
I turned thirty this year. I didn't mention this at the time, because there was really no departure from my usual tradition: confuse the Dairy Queen folks by requesting a specially made ice cream cake without any ice cream, listen to my family complain about how I'm hard to shop for, and then stare into the mirror for an hour contemplating my inexorable march toward death.
I mention this now because it was the point at which I immediately became too old to function. Consequently, I hurt my back recently. On Sunday afternoons, I do one of my more intense workouts, on the theory that the best way to combat the Sunday night blues - that existential dread in anticipation of Monday - is to make Sunday itself more unpleasant. So, naturally, it was a Sunday afternoon when I hurt my back. Specifically, during that most dangerous part of the workout: standing up from your desk.
And in that moment, my status as elderly became fixed. I might as well start napping with a newspaper spread across my chest while Matlock plays in the background.
But, on the plus side, at least one nice thing has come out of this whole experience: when I got ice for my back, I realized that I still have some leftover ice cream cake.
June 4, 2015
The Taste of Cashews
In a world where authors actually get around to writing books…
After years of waiting, it has finally been revealed…
A spiritual successor to Death Mill Mansion: A Lighthearted Comedy, in the sense that it has nothing to do with it whatsoever…
The Taste of Cashews
A Brief History of the Future…
Wesley Harden was an ordinary history teacher, until he was accused of leading a rebellion that doesn't exist and stealing a weapon that no one understands. Now, if he wants to survive, he'll have to outrun a devious bounty hunter, a tyrannical Empire, and a local dictator who, on the whole, would rather have been an accountant.
But along the way, Wes just might learn that some things are more important than surviving. And, while he's at it, he might even prevent a cashew-flavored apocalypse.
Available on Amazon.
August 27, 2014
Chatterbox
For some time, I've been using a Fitbit One, which is a fancy pedometer that tracks my steps and sleep, and then syncs over the wifi to store my data in the cloud. In response, Fitbit will send me an email if I get close to my daily goal of 10,000 steps, which they evidently selected on the basis that biology likes round numbers.
Perhaps most importantly, the device itself will also randomly show encouraging messages on a little LED display, such as "U can do it," or "Love ya," or "Burn it."
So, to recap: I carry around a small plastic box that talks to me. It loves me, but it spies on me and telepathically reports to a corporation on the other side of the country. Also, it tells me to burn things.
On an unrelated note, I hear that the minds creative people are in some respects similar to those of schizophrenics.
I wonder what made me think of that…
January 12, 2014
The Chronicles of Boy Cat
They say that owning a cat can make you live longer.
And in light of the number of cats we have, my wife and I are going to live a long, long time. Our most recent addition goes by the name of Boy Cat. When we got to the shelter, there were a lot of cats in need of a home, but the choice was pretty clear: any of them but Boy Cat.
Unfortunately, my wife's logic was irrefutable…if we didn't adopt him, no one else would.
On the bright side, the…goop…leaking down his face eventually went away, and his weird, pink underbelly eventually regrew all its fur.
Other problems were trickier. Because of his weight problem, he wasn't quite flexible enough to clean himself properly, and so he'd developed a waxy spot where he couldn't reach his lower back.
That wasn't the problem. The problem was that he couldn't reach…further down. And so he took to…dragging…himself along the carpet.
In a way that left long, dark streak marks.
Of course, his weight problem was accompanied by, let's say a healthy appetite. That is to say, he snarfed his food down so quickly that he immediately threw it back up again (only to be eaten by the other cats).
And that means we have to feed him with a food-dispensing plastic ball. Which cuts down on the vomiting, though we seem to have taught him that if he pushes things around with his nose, they'll feed him.
So maybe owning a cat just makes life feel longer.
November 26, 2013
In Your Face
Even MORE good news! I'm officially completing a hat trick of self-promotion blogs by announcing that now you can follow me on Facebook!
That's right - now you can get live status updates on what I've had for dinner and how hilarious the latest episode of the Daily Show was!
Sign up today! Or like me! Or whatever it is people do on Facebook!
I think the exclamation mark on my keyboard is stuck!
October 30, 2013
More News is Also Good News
Death Mill Mansion is now enrolled in Kindle MatchBook.
So for those of you who have already purchased a print copy, you can now get also get a Kindle copy for only $0.99. That's right - a savings of 66 percent-ish when you buy a book you already have. Own the complete set!
In other words: you are hereby encouraged to give me a dollar.
October 17, 2013
No News is Good News
Good news, everyone!
Now you can sign up to receive updates on my new releases by subscribing to my newsletter.
No need to worry about a clogged inbox - this list is exclusively for my new releases. If history is any indicator, this should translate to an e-mail once every twenty-seven years.
Hooray!
July 5, 2013
You Can Always Judge a Book by its Cover
And so clearly my book is awesome now. Behold, the new cover for my book, Death Mill Mansion: A Lighthearted Comedy:
Special thanks to Jake Clark of J. Caleb Design for making me feel bad about my own artistic skills.
May 9, 2013
Everyone Loves Free Things
In honor of its newly released second edition, Death Mill Mansion: A Lighthearted Comedy will be available for free on Amazon until Monday (5/13/2013).
If you're wondering why this is happening a full week after the second edition's release, the answer is, as with most great mysteries in life: a typographical error.
