Ariane Sherine's Blog, page 4

Day 19: The Ultimate in Frustration

Ugh, this diet! I was so good yesterday, yet I still put on a pound. I'm also really busy at the moment, partly because I have to chop tonnes of vegetables each night and work out the calories for them - so if it's OK with you, I'm just going to put up my weight and a couple of sentences from now on (sorry). It's not very entertaining, but it's better than being late for work!

Day 18: The Most Amazing Book

I'm reading the most amazing book. It's called 10 Keys to Happier Living, and is by Vanessa King, from the organisation Action for Happiness.




I'm reading it as research for my new book, not because I want to be happier (I'm pretty happy already, which is fortunate) - but I can honestly say that despite this, it's actually making me feel better. It breaks down the core components that lead to happiness, and shows you how to put them into practice in your own life.

It's cheered up my weekend and I can't wait to read the rest. I would genuinely say it's quite a revolutionary book and well worth buying. (And I don't know anyone associated with the book or have shares, promise!)

Day 17: The Freud Museum

I had such a lovely day yesterday. As I was missing Lily, I posted her a couple of postcards which she'll get when she returns from Wales, then decided to do things I ordinarily wouldn't do with her, so I went to a museum ('Mu-um, I'm bored! Can I have my iPad? Why not?!')

It was the Freud Museum in Finchley Road. It's the actual house in which Sigmund Freud lived at the end of his life after fleeing Vienna for London because of the Nazis. It's a beautiful house, and the museum was fascinating. I bought the audio tour and just wandered round for an hour in a daze, looking at Freud's couch and all his belongings and noting with approval that he was a staunch atheist! Apparently, he was as interested in archaeology as psychology, and had an impressive collection of antiques, which I saw and learned all about.

Touchingly, he was smitten with his wife, and was romantic and possessive. He always sat on a chair behind the head of the person on his analyst's couch, because he understandably didn't want to be stared at for eight hours a day. At the end of his life, he said sadly of his antiques collection, 'The collection is dead now - and so is its owner, almost'. He hadn't wanted to leave Vienna, and had done so because of his young daughter, Anna. The museum gave a real insight into his personality, and made me feel sorry that I'd never been able to meet him.

By the way, if you fancy going to the museum, which I would highly recommend, the ticket is £9 and allows you to go back as many times as you want within a year. There's a concessionary rate as well. I was very gratified when the man at the desk asked if I had a student card... until I remembered that you get mature students too!

Image: Sigmund Freud, c. 1885. © Freud Museum London

Day 16: A Wonderful Story

My talented sister-in-law Laura is lovely, kind and funny, and our friendship is living proof that a break-up doesn't have to mean the end of a friendship. We're both writers, and last week she hit the headlines with a heartwarming story about her adopted grandmother, who she met through an article. You can read the story here.


I haven't seen Gran for a while, but I used to meet her at all of Laura's legendary parties. Yesterday the two of them went on This Morning to talk about their friendship. I'm very proud of them both.

Day 15: Inspirational Quotes

As I've confessed before on this blog, sometimes I look at motivational blogs and Twitter and Instagram feeds for inspiration. This week, I found this on the Twitter page of @motivpill:

"How to make life far simpler:

Before making a choice, ask yourself 'will I regret this in the future?'

And if the answer is yes, don't do it."

Another quote I loved on that page was:

"Live in accordance with the expectations of your best self. That person you wish to become: what would they expect from themselves? How would they think, walk, talk?"

(I'm not sure who's behind the account @motivpill, but I'm willing to bet they're not sitting around in their pants shovelling doughnuts into their face.)

These quotes resonated with me. You see, like everyone, I want to feel proud of myself. I want to be around to see my little girl grow up. I want to have a bright future, to feel confident, to know that I've done the best I can in life.

Yet so often, I find myself falling short. This week, I've fallen off the diet wagon, to the extent that I've not only not lost any weight, I've also gained some.

So I'm going to tattoo these quotes on my arms.

Kidding! I'm not, but I am going to keep them in mind this weekend and turn over a new leaf. I am going to achieve my goal in the 14-week challenge, and keep the promise I've made to myself.

That is 'living in accordance with the expectations of my best self' - and my best self doesn't eat multipacks of chocolate.

The 14-Week Challenge: Two Weeks In

Two weeks into The 14-week Challenge, I've lost just over 5lbs (2.3kg). This is good, but it isn't enough for me to meet my target. For that, I need to lose 3.5lbs a week, so I should have lost 7lbs by now.

But all is not lost - some weight loss is better than none. I feel better, and people are commenting on my appearance at work, saying 'You've lost so much weight!' (They don't know about The 14-Week Challenge.)

Still, there's a long way to go. In the next two weeks, I aim to lose 7lbs. Onwards and downwards!

The 14-Week Challenge: 14 Days In

Two weeks into The 14-week Challenge, I've lost just over 5lbs (2.3kg). This is good, but it isn't enough for me to meet my target. For that, I need to lose 3.5lbs a week, so I should have lost 7lbs by now.

But all is not lost - some weight loss is better than none. I feel better, and people are commenting on my appearance at work, saying 'You've lost so much weight!' (They don't know about The 14-Week Challenge.)

Still, there's a long way to go. In the next two weeks, I aim to lose 7lbs. Onwards and downwards!

Day 13: I Love My Lily

I love and miss my daughter so much it hurts. This will be the longest we've been apart - a whole 17 days - and in total, by the next time I see her, we'll have had 28 days apart with just 24 hours together in the middle.

I speak to her every day to hear her funny, cheeky voice and tell her I love her. And I know she's on holiday with people who love and care about her - her daddy, step-mum, half-sister and nanna. But it's really tough right now.

So here are some photos of my beautiful baby.



When she was in the womb, I was certain that she was going to come out with jet black hair, dark brown eyes and olive skin. Instead, I got this little amber-eyed, caramel-haired creature! When she was placed on my chest after the emergency c-section, she was snarling and angry, full of character, and I loved her instantly.


She's the total opposite of me - doesn't care if anyone likes her. (Though they always do.) Unlike me, she's also incredibly sporty and agile - she would climb all the way up doorframes aged four!


I wish she were home. I'm counting down the days until I see her again, filling them with activities and events so that I don't have to think about missing her non-stop.

If you have a child at home right now, cherish them.

Day 12: Talk Yourself Better is available to pre-order!

I'm delighted to say that my new book Talk Yourself Better is now available to pre-order. It's all about how therapy and medication can help with anxiety and depression, and features interviews with Stephen Fry, Charlie Brooker, David Baddiel, Dolly Alderton, Cosmo Landesman, Jean Hannah Edelstein and James Brown (the magazine editor, not the soul singer) - and many more.

Jeremy Vine says the book is "Brilliant - makes the baffling comprehensible". Derren Brown says "What an excellent, long-overdue idea! A super-accessible guide, through the bewildering marketplace of modern therapy, to ease our noble search for help."



I'm really, really proud of this book. Thanks to the contributors, it's funny and honest and poignant, and gives a real insight into the secret world of therapy. It also answers questions like:

- How do I access therapy?
- What kind of therapy should I have?
- What's the difference between therapy and counselling?
- How do I find a good therapist?
- What is a therapy session really like?
- What's the difference between psychoanalysis and psychotherapy, or CBT and DBT?
- How long will I need to have therapy for in order to get better?

Twitter's Poet Laureate Brian Bilston says: "What makes Ariane Sherine's Talk Yourself Better stand out from the crowd is its accessibility and humour; to be able to discuss difficult things with a lightness of touch and a comedy that does not trivialise is a rare skill indeed. This, combined with the honest - and often deeply moving - stories of clients and practitioners alike make this the ideal introduction for anyone considering therapy for the first time."

And comedian Arthur Smith says it's "An excellent, funny and thought-provoking read for all who seek answers."

You can pre-order Talk Yourself Better here now.

Day 11: Brexit and the State of Emergency

Ah, anxiety, my old friend - we meet again. Whenever things are great and I am looking forward to the future - a future where my lovely book is published by a major publishing house and is in bookstores, where I am slim and pretty again and doing TV and radio, where my daughter and I have a wonderful holiday at CenterParcs - you slide into my brain unannounced, and whisper: 'Are you sure things are good? What if this happens? What about this? Don't you feel guilty and ashamed about this thing you did?'

The thing is, I know you so well. Even though you pad with such soft feet, I can anticipate your arrival. I know that cramming pizza and ice cream into my mouth in order to neutralise you works; it works so well, but that is exactly what you want me to do. Then you will tiptoe away, whistling, your job done. As long as I am unhappy and dissatisfied, you are held at bay; as long as I look at myself in the mirror and wince at my size, you don't need to make an appearance.

I also know that you're only trying to help me. Because people like me don't get to be happy. You are only warning me of this, pre-empting the inevitable - but it isn't helpful. I need you to go away, to leave me alone, to run from this house and never return. Pack your filthy black bin bags full of fears and insidious dark ideas, and creep away in the dead of night, so that I wake up feeling light and happy.

You see, I know how to deal with you now. I know how to take action, to move on, to do everything I would have done ordinarily without you, to take my pills and fall asleep.

Yesterday, you told me that, thanks to Brexit, I would no longer have any pills left soon. That without them, I would be a wreck again, screaming and suicidal, whispering my fears to trusted friends and then shaking in terror that these same friends would tell everybody or - worse - carry out the fears themselves. I do not want to be that girl again, the girl who hid away from the world for years because she was so scared.

I want to be me, the funny, smart, brave girl who orchestrated a daring bus campaign that rippled throughout the globe; the loving mum, the loyal friend, the girl who writes up a storm, who wears her heart on her sleeve and flowers in her hair. I want to be her again.

And without you, I will.