Chris Braak's Blog, page 15

On SMASH, and Why It Is the Worst

This is a very long essay, and it probably constitutes the end of my interest in NBC’s SMASH. I know that most of you will be happy to hear that. The second season of Smash begins with Karen Cartwright (Katherine McPhee), dressed as Marilyn Monroe, onstage and singing a song called “Cut, Print… Moving On.” [...]

Hawaii Five-0 and the Case of the Missed Opportunity

So, recently you probably heard about this episode of Hawaii Five-0 (I watch Hawaii Five-0 sometimes, for a number of terrible reasons.  Among them: my regular TV only gets three network TV channels; I never remember when Hawaii Five-0 is on so it keeps taking me by surprise; Grace Park is hot to death.  I [...]

Superior Spider-Man: Well, This Is Gonna Be Weird

Here is the thing about Spider-Man: It’s pretty easy to find good Spider-Man comics that fit the platonic ideal of Spider-Man (“With great power comes great responsibility”+ Peter Parker’s crappy luck + girl problems + goofy super-villains + wisecracks = Standard-Issue Spider-Man Story). The problem comes when writers decide to break out of the mold [...]

DC Comics New 52 COLLECTED Reviews – Demon Knights, Frankenstein, Suicide Squad and Stormwatch

One chapter is titled “Fear of a Monster Planet.” So, that pretty much tells you all you need to know.

On Fictional Character Names, Or “God I wish I’d thought of ‘Hannibal Chow’”

No more of this “John Carter” or “Jack Ryan” business. BRING ME THE HEAD OF RALEIGH ANTROBUS!

‘Skyfall’: The Bond Franchise Decides The 21st Century Needn’t Have Bothered

Helen Mirren will murder you, yes. But Judy Dench will murder you as though it was just a damn inconvenience.

Things I Have Learned from Skyfall

James Bond is a character who can teach us many lessons about how to survive this cold, cruel, confusing world, and so I like to try and extract what lessons are available for my edification.  The following are a few notes that I picked up from Skyfall: 1. Bitches can’t shoot straight. 2.  Get those [...]

Zero Dark Thirty, Andrew O’Hehir, Moral Relativism

Now I will write about this article by Andrew O’Hehir over at Salon, which is a discussion of several movies (Zero Dark Thirty, Lincoln, and The Gatekeepers), because it is actually pretty appalling.  Let’s just set aside the headline (“Is Feminism Worth Defending with Torture”) as being race-baiting hokum (it carries the attendent implication that [...]

James Gunn, Guardians of the Galaxy

My goodness, I am ready to be done with all this.  Here’s the thing:  James Gunn, tapped to direct Marvel/Disney’s (Marsney’s) upcoming Guardians of the Galaxy movie did this poll about the superheroes that folks would most like to engage in the intercourse with, and then he followed up all these votes with some pretty [...]

DC New 52 Collected Reviews – Aquaman (Or: Holy Crap, A Positive Review For a Change)

Instead of standing up for himself and saying, “You know you guys would have all been eaten by those fish-monsters if not for my wife and me, right?” he glares at the guy and leaps away.