JohnA Passaro's Blog, page 36
December 19, 2017
Another 8 Great Gift Ideas for a Wrestler – Mental Training Curation
Make Your Bed by Admiral William H. McKraven (Ret) – (Paperback) If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.
On May 17, 2014, Admiral William H. McRaven addressed the graduating class of the University of Texas at Austin on their Commencement day. Taking inspiration from the university’s slogan, “What starts here changes the world,” he shared the ten principles he learned during Navy Seal training that helped him overcome challenges not only in his training and long Naval career but also throughout his life; and he explained how anyone can use these basic lessons to change themselves and the world for the better.
Relentless by Tim S. Grover – (Paperback) – One of my all-time favorites. For more than two decades, legendary trainer Tim Grover has taken the greats—Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade, and dozens more—and made them greater. Now, for the first time ever, he reveals what it takes to get those results, showing you how to be relentless and achieve whatever you desire.
Resilience by Eric Greitens – (Paperback) Another one of my all-time favorites. Every athlete should read this book. In 2012, Eric Greitens unexpectedly heard from a former SEAL comrade, a brother-in-arms he hadn’t seen in a decade. Zach Walker had been one of the toughest of the tough. But ever since he returned home from war to his young family in a small logging town, he’d been struggling. Without a sense of purpose, plagued by PTSD, and masking his pain with heavy drinking, he needed help. Zach and Eric started writing and talking nearly every day, as Eric set down his thoughts on what it takes to build resilience in our lives.
The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday – (Paperback) If you’re feeling frustrated, demoralized, or stuck in a rut, this book can help you turn your problems into your biggest advantages. And along the way, it will inspire you with dozens of true stories of the greats from every age and era.
The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson – (Paperback) The Slight Edge is a way of thinking, a way of processing information that enables you to make the daily choices that will lead you to the success and happiness you desire. Learn why some people make dream after dream come true, while others just continue dreaming and spend their lives building dreams for someone else. It’s not just another self-help motivation tool of methods you must learn in order to travel the path to success. It shows you how to create powerful results from the simple daily activities of your life, by using tools that are already within you.
The ART of Mental Training – by DC Gonzalez – (Paperback) Get ready to increase your self-belief, self-confidence, and mental toughness using this powerful guide and to reach new levels of success, sports performance, and personal development.
The Mindful Athlete by George Mumford – (Paperback) Michael Jordan credits George Mumford with transforming his on-court leadership of the Bulls, helping Jordan lead the team to six NBA championships.
Coach Wooden’s Pyramid for Success by John Wooden – (Paperback) Legendary college basketball coach John Wooden reveals that success is built block by block, where each block is a crucial principle contributing to life-long achievement in every area of life.
View JohnA Passaro’s books at:
December 18, 2017
12 Great Gift Ideas for a Wrestler for the Holidays
Takedown and Falls – (DVD) Takedown and Falls tells the story of a group of Pennsylvania teens and their relationships within a high school wrestling team, on a journey to win a state championship. It chronicles a season of the Central Dauphin Rams in Harrisburg, PA and highlights the sacrifice of its athletes, the commitment of their families and the dedication of its coaches. Inspired by their love of the sport and their cancer-stricken coach, this group of teens grows up before our eyes, in an attempt to overachieve and do the impossible. While observing the team’s emotional roller-coaster season, the film subtly explores themes of humility, family, friendship and teamwork via individual and team efforts to win a state title. The film transcends the sport and becomes a story about people overcoming odds.
The Streak – For 34 years, the Brandon High School wrestling team went undefeated. Its 439-match winning streak was the all-time national record for most consecutive wins by any school sports teams. This documentary chronicles Brandon High School’s 2007-2008 season. It is a riveting film, chronicling three decades of ordinary high school athletes pursuing extraordinary accomplishments.
Four Days to Glory – (Paperback) Each a three-time state champion, Jay Borschel and Dan LeClere have a chance in their senior year to join the sport’s most elite group: the “four-timers,” wrestlers who win four consecutive state titles. In any state that is a big deal, in Iowa it is legendary.
The Edge: The Guide to Fulfilling Dreams, Maximizing Success and Enjoying a Lifetime of Achievement (Hardcover) – The ultimate wrestling book on priorities, goal setting, inspiration, motivation written by infamous St. Edwards coach Howard E. Ferguson.
“Wrestling makes young people be responsible for their performances. It makes them responsible for putting their lives in order, taking care of their academics, taking care of their wrestling, and working on their weaknesses. You can’t pass the blame on to anybody.”
American Wrestler – The Wizard – (DVD) In 1980, a teenage boy escapes the unrest in Iran only to face more hostility in America, due to the hostage crisis. Determined to fit in, he joins the school’s floundering wrestling team.
Vision Quest – (DVD) – In the original wrestling classic High school wrestler Louden Swain is a man obsessed, trying to shed 23 pounds in a dangerously short time and take on Shute, the undefeated, tough-as-nails 168-pound champion who’s the best wrestler in the state.
A Wrestling Life – The Inspiring stories of famed wrestler and wrestling coach Dan Gable. He tells engaging and inspiring stories of his childhood in Waterloo, Iowa; overcoming the murder of his sister as a teenager; his sports career from swimming as a young boy, to his earliest wrestling matches, through the 1972 Olympics; coaching at the University of Iowa from the Banachs to the Brands; life-changing friendships he made along the way; and tales of his family life off the mat.
The Purler Way – (Paperback) – In The Purler Way, Nick shares practical advice, insights, anecdotes, and resources from his nearly four decades of combined experience in the sport as a competitive wrestler, parent of a competitive wrestler, and experienced coach.
Finish Strong – The Dan Russell Story (Paperback) – For twenty-one years Dan Russell trained for four to six hours a day, six days a week in pursuit of winning an Olympic Gold medal in the sport of wrestling. He pushed his body to the limits, enduring brutal weight loss regimens, shattering injuries, personal tragedy and constant inner battles with the voices from his past telling him that he wasn’t good enough. With his brother and fellow champion wrestler, Joe, by his side, Dan reached the heights of what could be accomplished in the sport. Dan’s Olympic dream was within his grasp. But God had other plans for his life. Finish Strong is the incredible story of a driven man’s pursuit of success and finding purpose when all seems lost. It is the story of a wrestler, struggling not just against his opponents in the ring, but to discover what makes a true champion.
The Wrestler: A Life of Passion by Michael Fessler – From the internal struggles of balancing glory and humility, to the mental struggles of confidence and self-defeat, “The Wrestler” brings the reader into the competitive arena.
American Victory – by Henry Cejudo – (Paperback) Henry Cejudo’s remarkable journey follows an unlikely hero, the son of illegal immigrants, from the mean streets of South Central LA to the glory of the Beijing Olympics. The first American in sixteen years to win the gold medal in freestyle wrestling and the youngest American gold medalist ever in this event, Henry’s grit, passion, and resolve on display in China was a culmination of a life spent fighting-both on and off the mat. American Victory is his poignant and powerful memoir of how he rose above the statistics and dangers to become a winner-and a hero that embodies all that’s best and most hopeful in the American dream.
The Fighting Scots of Edinboro – The Fighting Scots of Edinboro is a behind-the-scenes look at how a small Division II university in northwestern Pennsylvania broke into the big-time world of Division I wrestling and has managed to thrive and become the “Iowa of the East.”
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December 17, 2017
Confidence
[image error]
There are wrestlers who think they are better than they are.
And there are wrestlers who are better than they think they are.
Both suffer from inaccurate levels of confidence.
One from over confidence.
The other from a lack of confidence.
Both are fatal.
The over confident wrestler tries to protect what he hasn’t yet earned and doesn’t deserve.
There is nothing worse than trying to defend what is not rightly yours and may have been given to you prematurely.
This is a losing game. One doesn’t have enough fingers for the amount of holes in the dam.
The wrestler who lacks confidence limits what he will accomplish just because he is not his biggest believer in himself.
Imagine.
This type of wrestler constantly self sabotages himself and limits his upside to prove his doubt right.
It’s like watching someone with a flesh eating disease evaporate right before your eyes, as the destruction comes from within.
The key to becoming a better wrestler as each day passes is to be neither of these types of wrestlers.
The key is the believe you are exactly the wrestler you are.
At the exact stage you’re in.
Be honest with yourself.
Be fair with yourself.
Don’t “protect” your rankings or hesitate when wrestling against a higher ranked wrestler.
Open up and wrestle.
Be yourself.
And become the best wrestler you can be.
And that takes an accurate level of confidence in oneself.
See yourself are as who you are, right now.
And just work to get better each day.
********
http://www.johnapassaroblog.com/books
December 11, 2017
Be the Fruit
Be the Fruit
Every block of stone
Has a statue inside it.
It is the task of the sculptor
To discover it.
Michelangelo
“BettyJane, I am running to Trader Joe’s to pick up some fruit,” I say to my wife as I pick up my keys and head toward the door.
“Why are you going all the way over there for fruit, we have a fruit store right down the road?” she asks.
“Something is telling me to go to Trader Joe’s,”
I inform her.
She knows me well enough by now not to ask any more questions as she knows that I don’t have the answers just yet.
As I walk into Trader Joe’s, I notice him.
It isn’t the first time I’ve ever seen a person begging on the street, yet this time the age of the young boy doing the begging, strikes me in the heart.
I’m sure it has to do with the rash of overdoses and deaths of young lives I’ve seen over the last year.
Good kids, athletes, kids I would have bet my life on that would have gone on to do good things in this world and would’ve been an asset to any community, just suddenly and tragically gone.
How did this young boy get to this point, I wonder?
I thought about giving the young boy money on the way out, something that would give him a little enthusiasm, to provide a spark for a new start and put him on a path for a better life.
I was thinking $5, $10 or maybe even $20, god knows I’ve spent more on much less important things in my life.
As I am thinking of doing my good deed for the day I eavesdrop on a conversation between two patrons.
One patron says to the other,
“Let’s give him something on the way out, he is so young.”
And the other replies,
“Why? So he can go buy heroin with it?”
And just as he finishes his sentence he taps the Trader Joe manager who happened to be walking by and says,
“Do you know there is a heroin addict outside your store harassing customers?”
I decide to buy the young boy some food instead of giving him money.
I pick up some oranges, some bananas, some
Cliff bars and some ice tea for him.
At the register, I tell the cashier to pack the items in a separate bag.
The cashier obliges and says, “That will be $48.24”
As I reach into my pocket to make a payment I realize all I have on me is a $20 bill, as I must have left my debit card at home.
I didn’t have enough to pay for both bags.
The cashier, noticing my embarrassment asks,
“Would you like for me to put one bag back?”
“Unfortunately, I have to,” I say.
I hand the cashier my lone $20 bill and she hands me my one bag.
As I walk out of the store I give the bag to the young boy, and I go home empty-handed.
In Holly Rutter’s podcast on ‘The Moth’, she tells a story of her first online grocery shopping experience.
She describes how she once put an apple in her online cart to reserve a delivery time with the intention of coming back to her cart later in the evening to make her real order.
To her dismay, she got sidetracked and it wound up that she got back to her cart after the deadline for her to be able to make changes to her order.
Thus, her final order was for a .40 cent apple.
It would be delivered to her in the morning.
For a $6 delivery charge.
When she realized her dilemma she attempted to call customer service.
There was no answer; of course, as it was after midnight.
She then emailed customer service hoping that they would receive her email before the lone apple was put on the delivery truck.
They did not.
The next morning, she looks out her window and she sees the delivery person pull up in front of her house and take off the truck a single apple.
She is mortified.
“Cleary this is a mistake. Yes?” the delivery person says as he hands her the apple.
Embarrassed, she tries to explain that this wasn’t supposed to happen.
The delivery person quips,
“I was saying to myself, who in their right mind pays $6 delivery for a .40 cent apple.
It made no sense.”
He recommends that she call customer service and explain her situation, he is sure that as a courtesy they will undue the delivery charge.
They do not.
“What if everyone called to get their delivery charges refunded, we couldn’t possibly do that for everyone,” the cold hardass customer service rep replied.
When all was said and done and the transaction was complete, Holly paid a high price for a single apple.
But the online grocer paid an even higher price, they lost a customer for life.
Wouldn’t it be nice if in life we were able to call customer service and get a compassionate person on the line whenever we have made a mistake?
It makes a world of difference.
“Obviously, this wasn’t your intention.
I know it was a mistake as no one in their right mind buys a .40 cent apple and has it delivered for $6. I’ll help you out…”
That was possible.
We need to be that possibility.
We need to be the person we would hope to get on the other end of the phone if we put a single apple in our cart.
Nobody knows someone else’s life and what causes someone to become an addict.
The best definition of addiction I ever heard came from Dr. Gabor Mate’ when he said, “Addiction is trading short pleasure for long-term pain because of an inability to solve a problem caused by trauma in one’s life.”
We think we know people.
In David Foster Wallace’s infamous commencement speech, “This is Water,” he says,
“A huge percentage of the stuff that I tend to be automatically certain of is, it turns out, totally wrong and deluded. I have learned this the hard way, as I predict you graduates will, too.”
He goes on to describe the mundane and annoying process of checking out at a grocery store,
“You can choose to look different at this fat, dead-eyed over made up lady who just screamed at her kid in the checkout line. Maybe she is not usually like this. Maybe she’s been up three straight nights holding the hand of her husband who is dying of bone cancer.
Of course, none of this is likely, but it is also not impossible.
It just depends on what you want to consider.
To really learn how to think, how to pay attention that is real education.
You get to decide what has meaning and what doesn’t.
If you’re automatically sure that you know what reality is, and you are operating on your default setting, then you, like me, probably won’t consider possibilities that aren’t annoying and miserable. But if you really learn how to pay attention, then you will know there are other options. “
Maybe, the young boy begging outside Trader Joes had such a traumatic life experience out of his control which caused him to put a single apple in his cart, get distracted and get back to it passed the point where he could make changes?
No one in their right mind would make the transaction he has made – it has to be a mistake.
Maybe he reached out for help and no one was available.
I’ve seen one too many young souls lose their lives to addiction.
They change and become unrecognizable.
Look past the changes and keep in your heart the person you know is in there.
Michelangelo said,
“Every block of stone has a statue inside it.
It is the task of the sculptor to discover it.”
Even after they change, we need to see the person we know they are, not the one taken over by the addiction.
If we don’t, they will ultimately die.
When you see a young person who put a single apple in their cart and got back to it after they could make changes and are about to pay a stiff price for their mistake let us be the compassionate customer service rep that takes care of it.
It’s not what they intended to do.
Nobody in their right mind would make that transaction.
We all know the accumulation of small straws breaks the camel’s back.
So then it makes sense that a small act of kindness is like taking a straw off of a person’s back.
When we have the opportunity take a straw away from someone’s back, we must.
You never know which straw will make the difference.
But I do know that one straw will.
You may not realize it at the time, but the straw that you take off someone’s back just may be THE straw that makes a difference.
Take a straw away today.
When you have the opportunity to take the $6 delivery charge away, do so.
Who knows, you may just keep a customer for life.
As I got back home from Trader Joe’s and I walked through the door empty-handed, BettyJane asks me,
“John, did you get the fruit you went there for?”
And I replied,
“I was mistaken.
I didn’t need to get fruit,
I needed to be the fruit.”
This is a chapter excerpt from
“Synchronicity – A Divinely Orchestrated Journey”
To be released in early 2018.
[image error]
6 Minutes Wrestling with Life – Book 1
Again – Book 2
Your Soul Knows – Book 3
Synchronicity – Book 4
All of JohnA Passaro’s books are available at:
[image error] [image error] [image error] [image error] [image error]
Get 2 FREE Audiobooks
Fruit
Fruit
Every block of stone
Has a statue inside it.
It is the task of the sculptor
To discover it.
Michelangelo
“BettyJane, I am running to Trader Joe’s to pick up some fruit,” I say to my wife as I pick up my keys and head toward the door.
“Why are you going all the way over there for fruit, we have a fruit store right down the road?” she asks.
“Something is telling me to go to Trader Joe’s,”
I inform her.
She knows me well enough by now not to ask any more questions as she knows that I don’t have the answers just yet.
As I walk into Trader Joe’s, I notice him.
It isn’t the first time I’ve ever seen a person begging on the street, yet this time the age of the young boy doing the begging, strikes me in the heart.
I’m sure it has to do with the rash of overdoses and deaths of young lives I’ve seen over the last year.
Good kids, athletes, kids I would have bet my life on that would have gone on to do good things in this world and would’ve been an asset to any community, just suddenly and tragically gone.
How did this young boy get to this point, I wonder?
I thought about giving the young boy money on the way out, something that would give him a little enthusiasm, to provide a spark for a new start and put him on a path for a better life.
I was thinking $5, $10 or maybe even $20, god knows I’ve spent more on much less important things in my life.
As I am thinking of doing my good deed for the day I eavesdrop on a conversation between two patrons.
One patron says to the other,
“Let’s give him something on the way out, he is so young.”
And the other replies,
“Why? So he can go buy heroin with it?”
And just as he finishes his sentence he taps the Trader Joe manager who happened to be walking by and says,
“Do you know there is a heroin addict outside your store harassing customers?”
I decide to buy the young boy some food instead of giving him money.
I pick up some oranges, some bananas, some
Cliff bars and some ice tea for him.
At the register, I tell the cashier to pack the items in a separate bag.
The cashier obliges and says, “That will be $48.24”
As I reach into my pocket to make a payment I realize all I have on me is a $20 bill, as I must have left my debit card at home.
I didn’t have enough to pay for both bags.
The cashier, noticing my embarrassment asks,
“Would you like for me to put one bag back?”
“Unfortunately, I have to,” I say.
I hand the cashier my lone $20 bill and she hands me my one bag.
As I walk out of the store I give the bag to the young boy, and I go home empty-handed.
In Holly Rutter’s podcast on ‘The Moth’, she tells a story of her first online grocery shopping experience.
She describes how she once put an apple in her online cart to reserve a delivery time with the intention of coming back to her cart later in the evening to make her real order.
To her dismay, she got sidetracked and it wound up that she got back to her cart after the deadline for her to be able to make changes to her order.
Thus, her final order was for a .40 cent apple.
It would be delivered to her in the morning.
For a $6 delivery charge.
When she realized her dilemma she attempted to call customer service.
There was no answer; of course, as it was after midnight.
She then emailed customer service hoping that they would receive her email before the lone apple was put on the delivery truck.
They did not.
The next morning, she looks out her window and she sees the delivery person pull up in front of her house and take off the truck a single apple.
She is mortified.
“Cleary this is a mistake. Yes?” the delivery person says as he hands her the apple.
Embarrassed, she tries to explain that this wasn’t supposed to happen.
The delivery person quips,
“I was saying to myself, who in their right mind pays $6 delivery for a .40 cent apple.
It made no sense.”
He recommends that she call customer service and explain her situation, he is sure that as a courtesy they will undue the delivery charge.
They do not.
“What if everyone called to get their delivery charges refunded, we couldn’t possibly do that for everyone,” the cold hardass customer service rep replied.
When all was said and done and the transaction was complete, Holly paid a high price for a single apple.
But the online grocer paid an even higher price, they lost a customer for life.
Wouldn’t it be nice if in life we were able to call customer service and get a compassionate person on the line whenever we have made a mistake?
It makes a world of difference.
“Obviously, this wasn’t your intention.
I know it was a mistake as no one in their right mind buys a .40 cent apple and has it delivered for $6. I’ll help you out…”
That was possible.
We need to be that possibility.
We need to be the person we would hope to get on the other end of the phone if we put a single apple in our cart.
Nobody knows someone else’s life and what causes someone to become an addict.
The best definition of addiction I ever heard came from Dr. Gabor Mate’ when he said, “Addiction is trading short pleasure for long-term pain because of an inability to solve a problem caused by trauma in one’s life.”
We think we know people.
In David Foster Wallace’s infamous commencement speech, “This is Water,” he says,
“A huge percentage of the stuff that I tend to be automatically certain of is, it turns out, totally wrong and deluded. I have learned this the hard way, as I predict you graduates will, too.”
He goes on to describe the mundane and annoying process of checking out at a grocery store,
“You can choose to look different at this fat, dead-eyed over made up lady who just screamed at her kid in the checkout line. Maybe she is not usually like this. Maybe she’s been up three straight nights holding the hand of her husband who is dying of bone cancer.
Of course, none of this is likely, but it is also not impossible.
It just depends on what you want to consider.
To really learn how to think, how to pay attention that is real education.
You get to decide what has meaning and what doesn’t.
If you’re automatically sure that you know what reality is, and you are operating on your default setting, then you, like me, probably won’t consider possibilities that aren’t annoying and miserable. But if you really learn how to pay attention, then you will know there are other options. “
Maybe, the young boy begging outside Trader Joes had such a traumatic life experience out of his control which caused him to put a single apple in his cart, get distracted and get back to it passed the point where he could make changes?
No one in their right mind would make the transaction he has made – it has to be a mistake.
Maybe he reached out for help and no one was available.
I’ve seen one too many young souls lose their lives to addiction.
They change and become unrecognizable.
Look past the changes and keep in your heart the person you know is in there.
Michelangelo said,
“Every block of stone has a statue inside it.
It is the task of the sculptor to discover it.”
Even after they change, we need to see the person we know they are, not the one taken over by the addiction.
If we don’t, they will ultimately die.
When you see a young person who put a single apple in their cart and got back to it after they could make changes and are about to pay a stiff price for their mistake let us be the compassionate customer service rep that takes care of it.
It’s not what they intended to do.
Nobody in their right mind would make that transaction.
We all know the accumulation of small straws breaks the camel’s back.
So then it makes sense that a small act of kindness is like taking a straw off of a person’s back.
When we have the opportunity take a straw away from someone’s back, we must.
You never know which straw will make the difference.
But I do know that one straw will.
You may not realize it at the time, but the straw that you take off someone’s back just may be THE straw that makes a difference.
Take a straw away today.
When you have the opportunity to take the $6 delivery charge away, do so.
Who knows, you may just keep a customer for life.
As I got back home from Trader Joe’s and I walked through the door empty-handed, BettyJane asks me,
“John, did you get the fruit you went there for?”
And I replied,
“I was mistaken.
I didn’t need to get fruit,
I needed to be the fruit.”
This is a chapter excerpt from
“Synchronicity – A Divinely Orchestrated Journey”
To be released in early 2018.
[image error]
6 Minutes Wrestling with Life – Book 1
Again – Book 2
Your Soul Knows – Book 3
Synchronicity – Book 4
All of JohnA Passaro’s books are available at:
[image error] [image error] [image error] [image error] [image error]
December 8, 2017
6 Minutes Isn’t Enough Time to Kill a Dream
[image error]
In the opening scene of ESPN’s “The Season – Hawkeye Iowa’s Men on the Mat,
Tom Brands is asked if he felt sorry for Josh Budke, a 5th year senior who had just lost his wrestle-off and his opportunity to wrestle for the year.
As to which Brands replied,
“To feel sorry for him because his dream is going down the drain is ludicrous.
I would like nothing more than to see Josh Budke on top of the heap at the end.
The thing is he has to earn it.
It’s not that he deserves it.
He doesn’t deserve anything.
The only thing you deserve is what you earn.”
The scene continues in narrator Dylan McDermott’s resounding voice,
“3 Periods.
7 short minutes.
It hardly seems enough time to kill a dream.
It is.
Hero or heartbreak there is no in between.”
This sport can be cruel at times.
Believe me, I know.
Unfulfilled dreams haunt you.
And this sport has haunted many.
So, when Frankie Walz, a senior at ESM sent me a text the day after losing his wrestle off to ask if we could get together to talk, I knew there wasn’t anything I would be able to say that would console him.
It’s like sleeping comfortably in your bed, in the middle of a great dream and out of nowhere someone throws ice cold water on you and abruptly changes your state.
It’s just not a pleasant experience.
“I worked hard all year, I went to practice, tournaments, and camps.
I dedicated the whole last year to wrestling. And in just 6 minutes, I lost everything. I deserve to be wrestling.
What do I do now?” he asked.
“Frankie, the universe has a way of making things work out for the best,” I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
My attempt at drawing a life lesson from the situation fell on deaf ears, as he was still stunned and in a fog, he needed further guidance.
“Frankie, don’t lose what makes you special,“ I advised.
“Don’t lose your perspective. Everyone who has been in your situation has gotten discouraged. Don’t. Don’t be like everyone else. Be you. Keep fighting.
I don’t know why what happened, happened, but I do know it happened for a reason.
Stay alert and that reason will appear.”
Still, I could see my advice was having zero effect on him.
I mean it wasn’t that he didn’t want to hear it, it is just that it hurts when you have dedicated yourself to a goal and it gets taken away from you before you have a chance of fulfilling it.
In your mind, your dreams always get fulfilled.
Frankie left our meeting needing further guidance.
So he called on the big dog.
My brother Joe.
If Frankie was expecting sympathy from Joe he was gravely mistaken.
Joe can give advice colder than Terry Brands standing in an igloo.
“Why did this happen,” Frankie started off.
“It happened because you lost. He scored more points than you,” Joe bluntly stated the obvious.
Frankie, your script will never be written with you being the favorite in wrestling or in life for that matter. That would be too easy. You will always be David going against Goliath in everything you do. In life and in wrestling.“
“What do I do now?” Frankie repeated.
“Use your slingshot,” Joe said.
“Here’s how I see it. You have a chance to be part of a team that could possibly win the Section XI Dual meet Championship, and quite possibly be one of the best teams in New York State. That’s pretty special. And one day when you look back at all of this it will be of great importance to you to have been part of that. You will treasure it for the rest of your life.
Here’s what I say you do.
Work hard. Stay sharp. Keep a good attitude, your opportunity will come.
I don’t know when it will come, where or how it will come, but I do know it will come.
And when it does you need to pounce on it.
On Monday, I say you ask to speak with Coach Garöne after practice and here’s what you say to him, you say,
“I will do whatever is best for the team. Just let me know what weight you want me to wrestle and I will wrestle there, whatever is best for the team, I will do.”
On Monday morning Frankie did just that.
Even without a weight class, he continued to work hard and keep a good attitude all while keeping an eye open for his opportunity.
Never did anyone think it would come so soon.
Just two weeks after losing his wrestle off, Frankie went to ESM’s opening dual meet, knowing he wasn’t going wrestle at his weight, but was prepared to help his team if he was called on.
The Universe works in mysterious ways.
It just so happened that the opening of the wrestling season featured the #1 ranked team in Suffolk County and returning 2x Section XI dual meet champions, the Rocky Point Eagles verse the #2 ranked team, the ESM Sharks.
In a hotly contested match, ESM found themselves in a unique position up 34-33 going into the 285-pound match.
And wouldn’t you know it, Frankie got his opportunity as coach Garöne called on him to wrestle up a weight with the biggest win of the schools’ history on the line.
As Frankie walked into the circle, toed the line and shook hands his opponent cast a shadow on him, as he outweighed Frankie by over 80 pounds.
Giving up nearly a foot in height and over eighty pounds in weight, Frankie’s chances were as small as he physically looked in comparison to his ranked opponent.
Frankie looked like a David verse a Goliath.
During the match, one could see the off-season work Frankie put in paid immediate dividends as he was stronger and more agile than he ever was before.
“Your opportunity will come, and when it does you pounce on it.”
And pounce on it, he did.
Miraculously, down 3-1 in the score with less than fifteen seconds left to go in the match and with the biggest win of the school’s history quickly fading, Frankie seized his opportunity.
He saw an opening and went for it.
With barely a few seconds left on the clock, Frankie became manic, took down his opponent and registered the pin to secure the biggest dual meet victory in ESM’s school history.
“The thing is he has to earn it.
It’s not that he deserves it.
He doesn’t deserve anything.
The only thing you deserve is what you earn.”
Earned.
6 Minutes.
Enough time to earn your dream.
And the Most Outstanding Wrestler of the dual meet tournament.
“You will always be David,” must have found its way into Frankie’s subconscious mind.
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December 3, 2017
A Great Moment
I enjoy watching great wrestling programs and analyzing what makes them great.
Rocky Point is a great wrestling program.
Five of the eleven wrestlers in the history of Section XI who amassed 200+ wins have been Rocky Point wrestlers.
They have won back to back Section XI Dual Meet Championships.
Darren Goldstein takes care of his wrestlers on and off the mat and has been smart enough and ego-less enough to surround himself with great people to continue to build the program.
At last count yesterday there were four additional coaches helping in one way or another.
Rocky Point is a model program.
For many reasons.
Yesterday one of those reasons came to light.
One would think by viewing the video below that jubilation you see from Rocky Point’s bench was because that victory sealed the dual meet.
You would be wrong.
The dual meet had already been handily won by some 40+ points when
7th grader Nicholas Lamorte stepped on a high school wrestling mat for his first time.
And got his first win of his career.
Rocky Point is a great wrestling program because they are a great team.
A team that takes pride and enjoys the success of all of its family.
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September 12, 2017
September 12th
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I was extremely fortunate on that dreaded day.
Evil plowed into so many lives on a day the sky was so blue.
I vividly remember the beauty of the sky on that day.
I also remember asking myself a few minutes later: “Why does God let bad things happen?”
I remember the day after our nations most horrific tragedy that we, as Americans, united.
Never before had the words:
United under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for All.
Ever had more meaning to me.
On September 12th, the day after the most horrific experience the people of our nation have ever experienced, 238 million Americans were indoctrinated into “The Life Changing Events Club.”
A club you do not choose to join; one, which chooses you.
A club no one ever wants to be part of, but once you are a member, you never want to give up your membership.
A club that transforms pain and hurt into life clarity and purpose.
A club that draws out of its members the greatest of the human spirit.
If you remember back to the two weeks after 9/11, starting with September 12th, you will recall the greatest two weeks of human spirit ever displayed in our countries history.
I vividly remember every car, driving on the road, having an American flag attached to its driver’s side window, rapidly and proudly blowing in the wind.
No other time in my life was I ever more proud to be an American than in those two weeks that started on September 12th.
In America, on September 12th, there were no democrats or republicans, only leaders working together for the betterment of our country.
There were no strangers, only friends you hadn’t met yet.
There were no blacks or whites, only fellow human beings needing comfort.
There was no hesitation to comfort someone who was in need.
We, as Americans, took action.
We reached out to people who needed our help.
Without being asked.
When we saw a person in need, we made that person feel loved, as best as we could.
We learned that words could never fully express our feelings, but our presence could.
Every person alive touched our soul.
Every life was important, every family was honored, and every breath was gold.
We united.
We helped.
We comforted.
And we consoled each other.
We were there for one another.
We treated each other with love.
I would never want to see any person of any generation, of any nation to ever experience anything like that dreaded day, ever again.
The combined pain and loss of our nation from that day is still incomprehensible and always will be.
It is amazing how it took adversity to bring the best out of all of us Americans.
We, as a country, as a human race, need to live every day like we did on that September 12th.
JohnA Passaro
Your Soul Knows
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September 9, 2017
Saving Hope
This is the 8th chapter of
“Synchronicity: A Divinely Orchestrated Journey”
I will be releasing 1 chapter online a day for 40 days.
Click Here to read the full book from the first chapter
The 20th of December, 2015
There is nothing more frustrating when decorating a Christmas tree than to have one light bulb go out.
We all know if one light goes out on a string of lights, they all go out.
You then have the painstaking task to find the one bulb, fix it, for all the bulbs to go back on.
One can spend hours searching for that one bulb.
I have spent more than six years in search of mine.
A brain injury is like having that one bulb go out in your brain.
Find the one connection, fix it, and everything goes back on.
Neurotransmitters generate connections in the brain.
They transmit signals across a chemical synapse from one neuron to another.
Neurotransmitters come from Amino Acids.
Amino Acids can be found on the shelf at Vitamin Shoppe.
“Can I help you find something?” a Vitamin Shoppe employee asks as he spots me reading labels in the neurotransmitter section.
I hesitate for a few seconds, almost to the point of awkwardness, as I ponder if I should share the reason I am reading the labels on every bottle in the neurotransmitter section.
I usually would make up a story in this situation; it is just easier, but today I decide to overshare with the Vitamin Shoppe employee as to why I am doing what I am doing.
“Yes, I am trying to learn about neurotransmitters.”
“Can I ask why?” he asks me.
“You may. I have a daughter who is in a non-mobile and non-verbal state, and it is my belief that if I provide her with the right neurotransmitter, at the proper dosage, it will provide the spark that will travel over the synapses of her brain to allow her brain to function properly again.”
Before I was able to finish, I knew I had made a mistake in oversharing.
I must sound insane.
I expected an awkward moment to follow, but I never expected the Vitamin Shoppe employee’s response:
“Sir, I hate to tell you this, but there is nothing in this store that will help your daughter recover. I’m sorry.”
I immediately put down the bottle I was holding and I quickly left the store humiliated, embarrassed and dejected; with my hope under attack and virtually depleted.
What was I thinking?
Did I really think there was a solution to my daughter’s condition in open sight sitting on the shelf of a Vitamin Shoppe?
Why in the world did I decide to overshare?
Embarrassment and humiliation make me start to doubt myself.
It is later that same evening and I am watching an episode of “Saving Hope,” a television show about a female doctor, Alex, whose fiancée is in a medically induced coma due to complications from a car crash.
In the episode, Alex has an idea to try to use sensory stimulation to help her fiancé, Charlie, regain consciousness.
She joins Charlie in his hospital bed.
She gets on top of him, takes off her shirt and places her comatose fiancée’s hands on her breasts hoping he has a sensory awakening.
A few seconds into her experiment a nurse walks into the room and witnessed Alex’s actions.
Alex immediately aborts the experiment and leaves the room humiliated and embarrassed.
She asks herself, “What was I thinking?” and starts to lose hope.
But a funny thing happened the next day.
Charlie moved his finger.
At the conclusion of the episode a North Face apparel commercial appears on the television screen.
I hear,
“Often, solutions to difficult problems reside well beyond comforts perimeter.”
Chapter 9 – The Warmth of the Sun – to be released 9/10/17
Synchronicity is the 4th book in the “Every Breath is Gold” Memoir series.
#1 – 6 Minutes Wrestling with Life
FREE eBOOK
Click to Download
#2 – AGAIN
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#3 – Your Soul Knows
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September 8, 2017
I Would Have Missed
This is the 7th chapter of
“Synchronicity: A Divinely Orchestrated Journey”
I will be releasing 1 chapter online a day for 40 days.
Click Here to read the full book from the first chapter
The 4th of December, 2015
“Would you rewind, or fast forward?”
BettyJane poses this question to me while we were in the midst of dealing with an unrelenting attack by chaos.
One which had both of us cornered at the brink.
When I don’t provide an answer, BettyJane persists,
“No seriously, if you could either rewind your life or fast forward it – which one would you pick?”
“I would push play,” I say.
I have learned that attempting to beat chaos without grace is unwise and extremely unproductive.
“You really would want to be right here?”
“Yes, I would want to be right here,” I say again as firmly as an umpire would shout “Out” on a close call at first base, knowing the more firmly he shouted it, the more convincing he would be.
I say it very firmly.
But I am not convinced.
I’m not convinced that I would really prefer to push play.
Not this time.
This time I have my doubts.
“Pushing play,” is just too painful.
Pain hurts.
It hurts a lot.
But hurting is good and pain is the price of being human.
It makes you recognize that you are alive.
It makes you feel.
It makes you question and compare.
Pain makes you more aware.
It heightens your senses.
It sharpens your focus.
It’s by experiencing pain that you find answers.
Pain forces you to connect the dots of your life using your inner vision as a model for what you believe the picture of your life should look like.
It makes you recognize things that you would have overlooked if you hadn’t experienced the pain.
Pain makes you fight for it.
“Really? This is what you would want?” BettyJane repeats.
“Of course not, but this is where we are. And I believe we need to be here for some reason,” I say.
Our conversation suddenly comes to an abrupt halt as we both have to deal with another onslaught from chaos. It’s as if chaos was listening to our conversation and realized BettyJane and I were suddenly coming back from the brink so it relentlessly attacked us once again.
There’s something in BettyJane’s question that I feel the need to delve into and inspect more closely. Her question stays with me throughout the day. It makes me tingle. And when I tingle I know I have come across something of importance to my soul.
I decided to give the question the highest priority of importance and space in my mind.
I decide to conduct a personal experiment.
I ask myself a question:
If I had decided to rewind or fast forward my life, what would I have recently missed?
I sit back and reflect.
I WOULD HAVE MISSED…
I would have missed an 11-year-old boy named Jaxon be able to partake in his first wrestling practice of his life.
Through a friend of a friend, I met Jaxon’s mother, Amber, online in 2015.
Amber is the mother of a child who is fighting cancer.
Last year she posted on Facebook that all she wanted for Jaxon’s birthday was for people to send him a birthday card, for what Jaxon really wanted was unattainable – Jaxon wanted to be able to wrestle like his brother.
But he could not.
For Jaxon was too ill to do so.
The doctors thought wrestling would be too dangerous for him, due to his illness.
So Amber started the “Send Some Birthday Love to Jaxon” Facebook page and requested that people mail Jaxon a birthday card.
Amber’s reasoning was that a piece of mail would provide Jaxon with something to look forward to each day.
As a parent of a sick child, I understand the significance and importance of just wanting something good to look forward to each day.
Something unexpected, unpredictable, totally arbitrary – something to get you to tomorrow, where maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will bring something better for your child, than today.
To Ambers surprise, the letters, cards and sports apparel addressed to Jaxon flooded in.
I believe he received more than 1,100 pieces in all.
It was a wonderful outpouring of love and support from total strangers and acquaintances from the wrestling community.
It touched my heart.
If I had fast forward my life over this painful time I would have missed Ambers recent Facebook post in which she shared that during a recent oncology visit, the doctor gave Jaxon permission to wrestle.
Just like his brother.
I WOULD HAVE MISSED…
I would have missed the first puck of the
New York Rangers 2015-16 season dropped by a young girl named Taylor.
Taylor is fighting Neuro Degenerative Langerhan’s Cell Histiocytosis, a rare blood disorder that affects the central nervous system. There are only 350 diagnosed cases per year.
I met Taylor and her family at a benefit the Islip Owls Travel Baseball team organized to support her in her fight. I was honored to be asked to speak at her fundraiser.
As fate would have it that night, I pulled into the parking lot at the exact time Taylor and her family were getting out of their car. I got to spend a few minutes with them while walking into the event. I’m glad fate knew what it was doing as that short walk together wound up being the only quality time I was able to spend with Taylor and her family as she would need to leave the benefit early due to the fact that she wasn’t feeling well.
After the event, I got to know Taylor and her mom Teresa from afar by following
“Taylor’s Hope Foundation” on social media.
I relate all too well with Teresa’s plight through her late night posts on Taylor’s fight and journey.
In one of the posts, I would learn how Taylor met hockey star Adam Graves through the “Garden of Dreams Foundation,” and how this foundation has significantly impacted her life. I would understand why it is said that hockey players are the greatest professional athletes in the world.
I would learn of innumerable behind the scenes occurrences that the New York Rangers privately shared with Taylor.
I would witness how their compassion renewed life back into a young girl.
I would understand how their text messages to Taylor before their games, urging her to take good care of herself, provided Taylor with the tenacity to keep fighting, even on her worst of days.
I WOULD HAVE MISSED…
I would have missed appreciating the sound of laughter resounding throughout my house.
This seems like a small feat, easily overlooked and underappreciated, but it is not.
Usually, one of the six of us in my family needs repair at any given moment, each in our own way.
We all have been living in and dealing with grief.
It seems in our case, grief doesn’t have an expiration date, it pops up out of the blue, triggered by the smallest, most remote of things.
It continually attempts to derail our life, and it would if we let it.
It is weird, grief seems invisible to others but we can see the signs of it instantly in each other, and when we do, we are there for each other, helping one another overcome it.
It seems we each take turns, and never are fully whole, either as individuals or as a family unit.
This is our new normal.
But for a brief moment the other day, we all were whole.
We all were happy.
All at the same time.
That is something I miss.
I WOULD HAVE MISSED…
I would have missed the anticipatory look on my daughter Jessica’s face when she knew it was Tuesday, as Tuesday is the day her friend Vanessa comes to visit her.
I would have also missed the glow on Jessie’s face after Vanessa left.
A glow that would endure the rest of the week.
I WOULD HAVE MISSED…
I would have missed the meaning and magic of friendship being defined right before my eyes.
I would have missed the pictures and updates on Facebook showing a high school classmate dropping everything in her life to travel a few thousand miles to spend time with her life long best friend, who just had a double mastectomy.
Presence is the greatest present one could give.
And friendship is the greatest healing agent.
Have you ever watched a movie for the second time and noticed all of the things that you didn’t pick up the first time?
Pain has had that effect on my life.
It has given my eyes, vision.
My ears, empathy.
And my heart, compassion.
Being a Life-Changing Event Club Member makes me look at life through a different filter.
A filter of love.
This filter makes me dig deeper to get to know people and their struggles and the stories of their lives.
This filter is one of the greatest gifts chaos has given me.
I have paid a hefty price for this filter although it was available to me for free.
In James Radcliffe’s “Everything is Broken” blog, he talks about the Japanese philosophy of ‘Kintsugi’.
Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing cracked objects with gold.
Objects that were deemed broken beyond repair;
instead of being discarded or thrown away, gold, which is thought to be the most valuable asset in the world was used to repair them.
As you know, gold is finite and is in limited supply.
I venture to say that the most valuable asset in the world is not gold, but love.
And love is infinite and is an unlimited resource which we all have access to.
Love is the gold that fills the cracks in peoples lives.
When it does, people who were thought to have been broken, are repaired.
To all the people who are the “Gold” that fill’s the cracks in other peoples lives – I salute you.
You are the most valuable asset in the world.
And life is more beautiful for you having done so.
And seeing you do that – well,
I wouldn’t have missed that for the world.
Chapter 8 – Saving Hope… To be released 9/9/2017
Synchronicity is the 4th book in the “Every Breath is Gold” Memoir series.
#1 – 6 Minutes Wrestling with Life
FREE eBOOK
Click to Download
#2 – AGAIN
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BUY NOW
eBook
Paperback
Audiobook
#3 – Your Soul Knows
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eBook
Paperback
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All of JohnA Passaro’s books are available at these fine online stores:
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