Amy Julia Becker's Blog, page 44

Living in Spiritual, and Therefore Material, Reality

It can seem as though the spiritual world and the material world are in tension. That we can have one or the other. We can’t serve both God and mammon, Jesus says. We can’t walk the narrow way and the broad way simultaneously.

But I’ve been realizing lately that the material world is not in opposition to the spiritual world. Rather, the material world is subsidiary to the spiritual world. If we only pay attention to the material, then we miss out on the spiritual. But if we pay attention to the spiritual, we get the material as well. 

Tish Harrison Warren recently described the way spiritual reality can enhance our experience of the material world:

“The more I have tried to seek God — the more I reach for truth, beauty and mystery that I know exceeds my grasp — the more bright, vivid and vital the things of earth become. Not to say that they are always beautiful and lovely. The sorrow, sin and ache of the world — the violence of nature itself, which is “red in tooth and claw,” as Tennyson put it — is clearer to me each year. Yet, as I grow in faith and in years, the lusciousness of this earth of ours, the glory in even the most ordinary of backyards, the astounding excessiveness of the natural world feels more and more urgent for me to regard and honor. There is no dimming of the things of earth, only a deeper sense of call to them. Christianity, to me, is nothing if not sensual.”

Easter is not a time for putting the material against the spiritual but rather for understanding their proper order. Spiritual and material are not an either/or. They are both/and, but only when the spiritual comes first.

More with Amy Julia:

The Narrow Way to a Spacious PlaceS6 E17 | Questions for a Life Worth Living with Matt CroasmunAddressing our Mental Health Crisis

If you haven’t already, you can  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest ,  YouTube , and  Goodreads , and you can subscribe to my  Love Is Stronger Than Fear  podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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3 Things I’m (Still) Learning About Down Syndrome

Penny was on spring break last week. Our original hopes for a quick trip to Jamaica never materialized, but we did get to spend two nights with Penny’s friend Rachel and Rachel’s mom Ginny. We booked a suite at a hotel with an indoor pool, got our nails done, ate delicious food, and finally figured out the right pair of glasses for Penny. 

Over the course of our time together, I was struck by all the things I’m still learning (or relearning) about Down syndrome. 

Teenagers With Down Syndrome

One, these teenagers with Down syndrome have a lot IN COMMON WITH TYPICAL TEENAGERS. Rachel and Penny both long for a boyfriend. They love romance and musicals. They would both like to work as event planners or in food service. They love getting their nails done and eating pizza and sitting in bed watching movies and eating salty snacks.

Two, these teenagers with Down syndrome have some particular things IN COMMON WITH EACH OTHER. Penny and Rachel both have sensory issues around tags on clothing. They are both small in stature, so we talked about retrofitting kitchens to accommodate adults who can’t reach high shelves. And their scalps both get very dry. (In fact, I learned on this trip that there’s a special shampoo we could use to help with this. Who knew?)

Three, these teenagers with Down syndrome have significant DIFFERENCES from one another. Rachel is taking a criminalistics class because she loves murder mysteries. Penny loves writing essays. Rachel loves making dance videos. Penny holds in emotions while Rachel is quick to express them. Their food preferences differ. Their sleep habits differ. Their needs differ.

All of this is to say, these teenagers with Down syndrome both belong within generalized groups (teenagers, Down syndrome), and they manifest their own distinctive personalities and desires and identities. And I am grateful I got to spend two days with both of them.

More with Amy Julia:

Book: A Good and Perfect Gift: Faith, Expectations, and a Little Girl Named Penny Free Resource:  Missing Out on Beautiful: Growing Up With a Child With Down Syndrome Down Syndrome’s “Exclusive Club”

If you haven’t already, you can  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest ,  YouTube , and  Goodreads , and you can subscribe to my  Love Is Stronger Than Fear  podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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The Narrow Way to a Spacious Place

I’ve always felt a bit uncomfortable with Jesus’ words in Matthew 7:13-14:

“Enter through the narrow gate, for the gate is wide and the road is easy that leads to destruction, and there are many who take it. For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it.”

Yikes. At first glance, he sounds like that fire and brimstone preacher on the corner at Times Square who is condemning people to eternal damnation. 

But as I’ve sat with those words in recent months, I’ve tried to contemplate them from the perspective of the same Jesus who said that God blesses the poor in spirit, that God welcomes sinners uncategorically, that God sent him in order to love the world, not condemn the world. 

And I’ve started to wonder whether Jesus is making a statement about spiritual reality that is more akin to the laws of physics than the laws of a courtroom. It’s not rude or mean or condemnatory to tell me that if I drop a hammer on my bare toe, it will cause me great pain, whereas if I drop a feather, it won’t affect my toe at all. That’s just a statement of fact about how gravity works.

Narrow Way to Spacious Life

What if it’s just true, that walking the road toward life is like a narrow path up the side of a mountain? What if it is like a trail, with roots and rocks and forests that hide my view from what is coming? What if it takes longer and seems circuitous, and requires a guide? 

And what if the road that I could easily pursue on my own is a wide one? A highway of sorts, easy to navigate, boring and fast and efficient as I speed along? And what if that highway leads me toward destruction?

I’ve started to think that the narrow road Jesus talks about here is also a beautiful one. Slow to traverse and somewhat hidden, but available to all who want to walk with the guide who wants to lead us to fullness of life. I’ve started to think of it as a narrow road to a spacious place.

More with Amy Julia:

S5 E3 | The Spaciousness of Limits with Ashley HalesLimitations vs Limiting BeliefsEaster| Love Is Life

If you haven’t already, you can  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest ,  YouTube , and  Goodreads , and you can subscribe to my  Love Is Stronger Than Fear  podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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Economics of Disability

As taxpayers, we pay for lots of stuff. Our taxpayer dollars pay for teachers and firefighters and road repairs and mayors and tanks and bombs and surveillance and food and shelter. And our non-taxpayer dollars also pay for lots of stuff: tickets to concerts and football games, subscriptions to Netflix and Hulu, prom dresses and books and phones and shoes. 

I used to think it was unfair to ask other people to pay for the care of my child. I felt a little squeamish about the number of people committed to Penny’s education. I wondered about the efficiency of having 6-8 faculty and staff members seated around a table to talk about her goals and needs. 

Economics of Disability

Over the years, though, I’ve come to think about it all differently. I’ve come to believe that just as my taxpayer dollars go to pay for other kids’ educations, and go toward national defense, and go towards hundreds of things that may seem to have no clear bearing on my personal life—so too should we commit as a society to the education and care and support for children and adults with disabilities. 

Just as our individual checkbooks offer a ledger of what matters most to us, so too our collective checkbook tells us what matters—who matters—to us as a society. 

I believe more than ever that it is worth it to pay for each other to receive education, housing, food, shelter, health care, and employment. I believe more than ever that we all benefit from the diverse lives we live alongside one another.

More with Amy Julia:

What Is a Disabled Life Worth?False Message: Disability is an inspiration.Becoming a Culture of Belonging

If you haven’t already, you can  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest ,  YouTube , and  Goodreads , and you can subscribe to my  Love Is Stronger Than Fear  podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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Turning 46

We celebrated my 46th birthday last week. 

I have a friend who holds up a sign that indicates his age in every birthday photo now. At this point, they all blend together so he figures that’s the only way he will know what year it was. What’s the difference between 46 and 47 and 48? 

But I think this birthday will stand out in my memory because it was an unexpectedly delightful day, and I did nothing to make it that way.

It happened to fall on a Sunday this year. (Perhaps it is a sign of my age that I just tried to Google when that will happen again and couldn’t figure it out. I then tried to figure out how to access ChatGPT, again, to no avail. My back-of-the-envelope calculations tell me it will be another five years…)

Peter and I were away for a nine-months-delayed anniversary trip. So I got eight hours of sleep, stayed in bed with my journal and various books and a big cup of tea, then meandered towards a late breakfast and ate eggs benedict. We had a little extra time before heading home, and Peter noticed we were close to Storm King, a 500-acre sculpture park. So we drove over and walked around.

We talked about a recent sermon as we drove and wondered about the 3-legged Buddha sculpture and marveled at the ones that moved with the wind. We ate lunch at Panera and later had a family dinner where I received the one gift I had requested, a bright blue leather tote bag that I never would have purchased for myself. 

Turning 46

I don’t need fancy parties. I don’t need big gifts. But it is joyful and lifegiving and memorable to slow down and celebrate. It is worth it to sleep late and eat delicious food and see beautiful (and strange and unexpected) art. And most of all, it is worth it to surround myself with the people I love.

More with Amy Julia:

Gifts that Emerge Out of BelovednessThe Gift of the MagiS6 E16 | Enchantment in an Anxious Age with Katherine May

If you haven’t already, you can  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest ,  YouTube , and  Goodreads , and you can subscribe to my  Love Is Stronger Than Fear  podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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I Love Hearing From Groups Using To Be Made Well!

I love hearing from the groups around the country who are reading and discussing To Be Made Well, and it is always a joy to receive your notes and reviews. Thank you not only for reading the book but for engaging it. As I write in To Be Made Well, “healing is for each of us, and for all of us”!

“We used Amy Julia’s Lenten Series as a Church and the discussion that followed the video presentation helped many to look at the various types of healing in a very new way, I would highly recommend it.”

– Cincinnati church

I’m leading a group of women through To be made well , and they are loving it. We get thru about half a chapter each meeting and have your questions to guide us. We’ve done many bible studies, CS Lewis, and various books and they wanted me to tell you how your stories, vulnerability and honesty have impacted their experience as well as the content.”

– Virginia group

“Well written without all the typical and tired platitudes about healing. At the end, I had a hopeful vision of how deep, how long and how high is the healing God offers us. I have read all of Amy Julia’s books and each one stirred my heart. Read this book!”

– Amazon review

“I bought the audiobook and thoroughly enjoyed it. This book was satisfying intellectually and Biblically. Now to go actually apply what I learned to my life…!”

– Amazon review

THANK YOU for reading and sending me notes!

More with Amy Julia:

What People Are Saying About To Be Made Well Groups

Book: To Be Made Well: An Invitation to Wholeness, Healing, and Hope

To Be Made Well  Video Series More Reviews for To Be Made Well

If you haven’t already, you can  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest ,  YouTube , and  Goodreads , and you can subscribe to my  Love Is Stronger Than Fear  podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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Addressing our Mental Health Crisis

I am kind of obsessed with Dr. Lisa Miller right now.

I read her 2015 book, The Spiritual Child, a few months back. And then I raced through her more recent book, The Awakened Brain, in the past few weeks. I am telling anyone who will listen about her work.

Here’s why I think it’s so important:

First, Dr. Miller demonstrates that humans are spiritual beings. We are made for spirituality. We need transcendent experiences of a loving and guiding power outside ourselves.

Second, Dr. Miller’s research, alongside other psychologists and neuroscientists, also indicates that the area in the brain that registers spiritual activity is the same area that registers depression. Depression and spirituality are linked in our brains. 

Which leads to important insight number three: we need to reanimate our spiritual lives in order to address our current mental health crisis. Our current therapeutic models are insufficient. There is so much more to healing than therapy and medication. (Which is not to say there is no place for therapy and medication. Just that it is not enough.)

Dr. Miller’s research suggests that the power of spirituality is even more effective in protecting and caring for teenagers than other age groups. I’m especially motivated as a parent of teens and tweens to make sure our kids know that there are pathways and communities available to them to connect to a loving power beyond themselves. 

If you are a parent or an educator or a therapist working with teens, you don’t need to force them on a religious path. You don’t need to have all the answers worked out yourself. But you do have an opportunity to give teens a place to ask the big questions and suggest that there are practices, communities, and pathways that can lead them toward answers. We can introduce them to the spiritual life, and guide them away from depression, anxiety, and high-risk activities and into lives of purpose, peace, and love.

More with Amy Julia:

Develop Your Spirituality by Starting SmallGod’s Love Is the Answer to DepressionResponsive Parenting

If you haven’t already, you can  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest ,  YouTube , and  Goodreads , and you can subscribe to my  Love Is Stronger Than Fear  podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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Becoming a Culture of Belonging

How do you know if your community is a place of belonging?

Professor Erik Carter has articulated ten “dimensions of belonging.” He created this model for churches to assess whether their congregations truly provided a place where people with disabilities experienced belonging.

BECOMING A CULTURE OF BELONGING:

I’ve adapted Carter’s model by adding questions to help you address areas where you could grow in creating spaces of welcome. (I’ve kept the questions focused on people with disabilities, but you could also consider whether other marginalized groups of people are welcomed and included in your community.)

Present:

Are there adults with disabilities in your community? Children? Do they attend/participate regularly?

Invited:

Have you reached out—individually or collectively—to people with disabilities to let them know they are welcome?

Welcomed:

When people with disabilities enter your building/space, what type of welcome do they receive? What does the architecture of the space communicate? What do your programs assume about ability? What does the teaching/preaching communicate about disability?

Known:

Are people with disabilities in your community known by name? Do they serve in ministry or leadership roles? 

Accepted:

Are people with disabilities expected to conform to social norms? Are there accommodations you could make to communicate greater acceptance? 

Supported:

What are the needs of the people with disabilities in your community? Financial, social, spiritual, physical? How do you support those needs? 

Cared For:

Are people with disabilities offered compassion and practical care?  

Befriended:

Do people with disabilities have meaningful and reciprocal friendships within your community?

Needed:

Do people with disabilities know they belong within your community? Do they have opportunities to serve and minister to others? 

Loved:

Are people with disabilities integral to the life of your community? Do they know they are valued? Would you notice if they were not present? What would be missing?

More with Amy Julia:

Resources on Inclusion and BelongingS6 E3 | Down Syndrome and Belonging with Heather AvisA Glimpse of Belonging at the Beginning of Down Syndrome Awareness Month

If you haven’t already, you can  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest ,  YouTube , and  Goodreads , and you can subscribe to my  Love Is Stronger Than Fear  podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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Down Syndrome’s “Exclusive Club”

I remember a day 17 years ago when Peter and I had spent hours with Penny at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. We were exhausted. But he needed to attend an event on the school campus where he worked. Peter coached the speaker’s granddaughter in squash, and the speaker had asked to speak with Peter privately after his talk. 

The speaker was Lowell Weicker, former Governor and Senator of Connecticut, and Peter was excited to meet someone with those titles. But then Sen. Weicker told Peter about his son, Sonny, who had Down syndrome. Or rather, he gushed about his son Sonny, who was our age and working at a law firm and taking a hip-hop class and bringing joy to the people around him.

Peter came home that night and he was no longer exhausted. Instead, he said, “We’ve been invited to join an incredibly exclusive club that I had no idea I wanted to join.” He didn’t mean that we had been invited to a club with powerful politicians, but rather that we had been invited to a club of vulnerable parents.

A few weeks ago, I received a phone call from a mother of a four-year-old with Down syndrome who would be moving within an hour or so of where we live. I don’t know that school system, but I was able to connect her by email to a few other parents of kids with Down syndrome in the area. Soon, the information was pouring in with people offering help and support and local connections, which reminded me of our introduction to the “club” 17 years ago.

I participate in this club every Friday, when my friend Ginny and I meet up to work through a course teaching us how to navigate our daughters’ transition from high school. I remember the privileges of my membership again every time I reach out to women with a prenatal diagnosis. 

The thing that’s also amazing about this “exclusive club” is how non-exclusive it actually is. The only condition for membership is having Down syndrome or loving someone with Down syndrome. Everyone is welcome here. Everyone belongs.

More with Amy Julia:

Book: A Good and Perfect Gift: Faith, Expectations, and a Little Girl Named Penny Free Resource:  Missing Out on Beautiful: Growing Up With a Child With Down Syndrome The Dignity of Risk

If you haven’t already, you can  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest ,  YouTube , and  Goodreads , and you can subscribe to my  Love Is Stronger Than Fear  podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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10 Ways to Practice Resurrection

Yesterday we stood in church and sang Alleluia, and afterwards we gathered with friends and feasted and drank champagne and rejoiced with this day of remembering that the way of life is open and available and good and true and beautiful and Jesus invites us to walk with him along that path forever. 

The thing is, according to the church calendar, Easter lasts for 50 days (until the day of Pentecost). Yesterday was just the beginning of a season of celebration. 

We practice repentance and abstinence during Lent. What if we also practiced new creation, new life, full life, eternal life, love without end? 

Practicing Resurrection

Here are 10 suggestions for ways to practice resurrection in the days ahead:

Start a gratitude practice by journaling or sharing with a friend or family members Eat something sweet and consider how we can “taste and see that the Lord is good”Keep freshly cut flowers on your table throughout this season and use them as a reminder of the vibrant life God gives us (John 10:10)Take five minutes each day to calm your body and listen to a beautiful piece of music Take five minutes each day to gaze at a painting by Makoto FujimuraStep outside and stand on the bare grass first thing every morningMemorize Philippians 4:8 and name one thing each day that is good, true, or beautifulSing or play a musical instrumentDo something fun that you wouldn’t typically do (go to a playground, spin in a circle, ride a bike, play a game) Read one portion of Matthew 5-7 (the sermon on the mount) each day, over and over again, and consider how you are invited to walk in the way of Jesus

More with Amy Julia:

Sitting in the Dark on Good FridayHope on Holy SaturdayEaster| Love Is Life

If you haven’t already, you can  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest ,  YouTube , and  Goodreads , and you can subscribe to my  Love Is Stronger Than Fear  podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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