Jo Knowles's Blog, page 35

Working, Thoughtful Discourse, and WHO KILLED FRED?

Happy bitterly-cold Monday! Woweee it is cold here this morning. -22º!!!

Last Friday I handed in my revision of See You at Harry's so today is a new day and I'm going to try to step back into my 3/4-written ms. I only have a week to work on it before I my freelance work arrives, so I'm hoping to get busy. Who's with me?

In other news, yesterday was a strange and thoughtful day. I noted on Facebook that I found it frustrating when people give books bad ratings because of content, not quality. Specifically, because the book has a gay character. There were a lot of thoughtful comments there, and it made me grateful. It's hard not to simply get angry and lash out with cruel words when these things happen. When not only do you feel wronged, but you feel that a whole group of people have been wronged (again). But everyone was polite and shared some great points. I was able to look at both sides in a new and (I think) more open-minded way. If you were part of that discussion, thank you. I learned a lot.

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Monday Morning Warm-Up:

I posted this photo I took of our drama-cat Fred last night on Twitter and Facebook and people had some really funny comments about what Fred's demise had been (I thought it was Ms. Peacock, in the living room, with the fire poker). For today's Monday Morning Warm-Up, give it a try! Who killed Fred? What's the story?

Can I get back to you on that?

Truly, this is what I want to say to everything lately. But it also makes me think of Joey Pigza, and that makes me smile and try to find the humor in the situation.

Speaking of humor, I about fell over when I got the link to this Publisher's Weekly article that appeared yesterday. Not exactly the PW debut I daydreamed about, but I guess it could be worse. At least it wasn't the photo of the horrific pink frilly dress from the year before. :-)

Anyway, I am behind on everything and I'm sorry if I owe you an e-mail or anything else. But today I am finishing up my revision for SEE YOU AT HARRY'S and sending it to my editor and hopefully that will mean truly letting it go for now and getting that part of my brain back so I can be "all" here and not just partly.

Does anyone else get Revision Brain?

I truly feel sorry for everyone who has to live with us.

I hope you all have a good weekend. I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to putting this week behind me.

xo

Making the Most of the "Life is Beautiful" Moments

This week I am trying to bury myself in a world of ice-cream and family and pain and forgiveness as I wrap up a revision of See You At Harry's for my editor.



Wednesday is a hard day for family, and it feels strange to be working on this novel right now.

This novel wasn't ever supposed to be what it ended up being.

But neither was this life.

So we keep moving forward, making the most of the "life is beautiful" moments.

This weekend, the beautiful moments included:

Tromping through the woods with good friends, then coming out of the clearing at our neighbor's farm. The snow was falling in it's beautifully silent way, and the horses played in it, showing off the way they do when we strangers appear out of nowhere.

Going back the next day by myself, and just standing on my skis in the quiet, listening to the noises of the woods grow as I became a part of the scene.

Making my first cheese souflé and watching my son actually eat it. He even ate his green breans after I promised the more he ate the better dessert would be. And it was.

And on my mind still, our dear friend Lisa, and how the community is gathering, finding ways to show our love and support.

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Monday Morning Warm-Up: Describe a recent "life is beautiful" moment you've had.

One True Thing, Despite it All

A while ago, I was invited to participate in a project that involved writing to your teen self. The project is called "Dear Teen Me."

I said yes. I had already written a letter to my writer self, and it was a great exercise. In looking back and realizing how things got better, I felt like I could offer that hope to other writers.

But with this new exercise, for some reason, every time I started to write a letter to my teen self, I stopped. Because every time I thought about that kid, I thought about all the warnings I wanted to scream at her. Sure, some were a little funny, but mostly they felt like life or death. And it was just a reminder to me that I couldn't go back. I couldn't save the people I knew who died too young. I couldn't prevent my family's pain or anyone else's. So what was the point?

Yesterday, our dear friend lkmadigan shared the heartbreaking news that she has cancer. Lisa and I have never met, but we've known each other here on LiveJournal for years and years. We celebrated our first sales together. We celebrated our first books, and then our second books, together. I've cried over her posts and she's cried over mine. We've offered each other advice about writing and about life. And a few years ago, Lisa began the now popular and heartwarming "Thankful Thursday" tradition here. Lisa is a good person. A good friend. And once again I hear the useless phrase in my head we all scream when someone we love is hurting. It's not fair!

What can we do for Lisa?

It reminds me again of the letter to myself exercise. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we really could go back in time and warn the people we love to do this thing or that thing that we think might change their course. Save them.

But we can't.

And as I wrote that letter to my teen self, it was something I finally had to accept. And it hurt. Life is funny. That's what I wrote. And sometimes life is brutally cruel. Sometimes, the hurt feels unbearable. But life, when we are living it with all of that in mind, when we are just spending a fleeting moment looking across the table at someone we love, we realize the most important thing of all: Life is beautiful.

This Thankful Thursday as I hold Lisa in my heart, I'm grateful for that one realization. That one true thing.

Today, Dear Teen Me published my essay. You can read it here.

Thank you. To all of you. For helping put beauty in my life, and so many others.

Tricks or Treats?

The little country store at the bottom of our hill recently changed owners and now sells coffee and muffins!

I decided that the one day I week I bring my son to school instead of pick him up, I would stop in and treat myself to coffee and a muffin.

I'm normally a tea drinker because while I LOVE coffee, it tends to make me far more jittery than my tea does. Today, I stopped for my first treat. The coffee said something like "Extra dark..." something or other. I don't even know what that means but I am feeling ZIPPY!

It could be all in my head. Who knows. But yikes!

This is all to say, I am WRITING! And you know how I love COMPANY! So if anyone's out there who feels like checking in from time to time to stay on track today, leave me a comment. :-)

Excitement is in the air!

I have my two wishes for the Printz and Newbery on my heart and can't wait to hear the results. My favorite part of today, or I suppose the days that follow, is hearing all the stories about "the call." Quite a few lives have changed this morning! :-)

I was a little bummed to learn that PEARL ARCs were not available at ALA, so I'm sorry to those of you who stopped by the booth and didn't get one. BUT. As promised, I will have a contest here to give one away just as soon as I figure out something fun to do. AND, if you let me know you stopped by the booth, I will put your name in extra to increase your chances. :-) More to come!

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Monday Morning Warm-Up:

Describe a "good-news" moment you've experienced.

Five E-Words On Friday (way less Enticing than F's, sorry)

1. Escape

Last night, I took my son out to dinner. We've both been cooped up in the house all week and we finally decided we had to bust out. It was lovely.

2. Escapades

Tomorrow, I am taking off for the night to help a friend celebrate her 40th birthday. Based on the planning e-mails, we will be eating and drinking for the full 24 hours. I can't wait!

3. Expression

I am so grateful to everyone who weighed in yesterday on my dilemma. I think I sounded rather whiny in that post, and I'm not sure I really explained what I was feeling very clearly. Blah. Sorry. But anyway. I said YES. And it'll all be good. Thanks for your support and for putting up with me. I love this community so much!!

4. Energy efficiency
After I made my decision to say yes to the freelance work, those of you who said I'd stop stressing were right. I revised 5 chapters! Maybe taking on this work was the boost I needed to be more efficient! But my real big goal, and what The Year of Being A Writer truly means, is that I/We take our craft seriously and do the work that must be done to create the stories our hearts are longing to share. blackholly gave me this postcard for Christmas but I share the message/reminder with all of YOU


5. Enterprise

(Note: I got this cover from GoodReads. I don't know if it's the final.)
Are any of you attending ALA? If you are interested in my new book, head on over to the Holt/Macmillan booth and request an ARC of PEARL. I don't actually know if they'll have any, but I'm hoping yes. If not, please report back here and I will have a contest to give my copy away. :-)

I hope you all have an ENCHANTING weekend! Once again, I am going to write my Printz and Newbery picks on a heart. Last year, I was half right. This year, I'm hoping for a full!

:-)

Am I failing already???

Day 6 of Being a Writer and I have encountered my first challenge:

A freelance opportunity.

Here's how the argument goes:

It's great money. Say yes.

It's 2+ weeks of my time away from my own writing. Say no.

I won't know the subject until I get the job. It could be super easy. Say yes.

It could be super HARD. I will get even more gray hair. I might cry. Say no.

But it is great money and I don't know if I'll get another offer if I say no. Be grateful for the opportunity, especially in this economy. Say yes!

But it'll set me back on my fiction and I won't finish before my retreat, which I planned to use to revise. Say no.

But it is a sure thing in terms of getting paid, whereas my fiction still isn't. Say yes!

But I promised myself this is the Year of Being a Writer! Don't be a wussy. Say no!!!!!!

But this IS writing. And I am getting paid to do it. Say YES!

*bangs head against wall*

I will probably say yes. We need the money. And I really like working for this company.

Does this make me a failure already?

Random cat photo to help me calm down:



Thanks Fred. But I am still torn.

I will probably say yes.

That's OK, right?

Please say yes.

PEARL Neurosis, Kirkus, Challenges and a Check-In

I admit it. I've been going a little crazy ever since the first ARCs of PEARL arrived. The book doesn't come out for months and months (July), so it's not unusual that there wouldn't be any mentions of it yet. But hello? Neurotics R Us here. What I tell myself: No one is mentioning it because they read it and hated it and don't want to hurt your feelings. Well, actually a couple of people have mentioned it on GoodReads, but really I can't go there, because I think (and no offense meant to GoodReads) that people tend to be rather mean there. It is not a friendly place for authors to visit. No no no.

BUT! This morning I got a notice that PEARL was mentioned in the Kirkus Reviews blog called, "Best of 2010 Authors Pick Must-Reads in 2011". I know we all normally cower when we hear Kirkus has mentioned our books since they have a reputation of being pretty hard on books. But this is not a review. Just a sweet shout-out by the extremely generous Lauren Myracle:

Pearl by Jo Knowles (Henry Holt, July 19; Jumping Off Swings): "Why? Because it's by Jo Knowles, and Jo Knowles is wise, kind, brilliant and amazing. I don't even know what Pearl is about—just that IT'S BY JO KNOWLES, and that's all the enticement I need."

Thank you, Lauren!! I am so touched by this. Lauren is one of my all time favorite authors and for her to say such sweet things is, well, a huge gift.

In fact, a book I think everyone should actually be looking forward to is Lauren's truly brilliant and stunning book, SHINE. The writing is incredibly powerful and the story unfolds in ways that terrify, surprise and move. It's already on my list for the big award. The cover isn't available yet on IndieBound, but here is the link to learn more. It comes out in April and everyone should read it!

In other news, registration for the OVERCOMING CHALLENGES workshop sponsored by NESCBWI and held at the Eric Carle Museum is now open! I went to this workshop last year and loved it. I was so inspired, I wrote about it here. I was very surprised and deeply honored to be asked to participate. And now, reading over my journal entry, very intimidated! But it should be lots of fun. :-)

I hope those of you who signed up to BE A WRITER with me are having lots of success so far! I managed to revise 7 chapters yesterday before doing any house-related tasks, so I'm feeling pretty good about that. My house, however, is kind of a pigsty. Oh well!

A New Year, A New Declaration—and Invitation :-)

Instructions for a perfect New Year's celebration:

First, you enter a tiny, secret door hidden among the books...


Walk past some miniature melting skulls...


Enjoy an abundance of fancy food...


Meet your lovely host:

( theoblack 's costume was gorgeous)

And hostess:

(She was beautiful, but I cringed every time blackholly tilted her head. Creepiest. Mask. Ever!)

And mingle with mystery guests:

( libba_bray )


( bgliterary )


(My husband Peter)


( robinwasserman )


(E—he was a Ravenclaw student dressed up as a cat warrior—I'm not sure how this came about)


(J—Who had an incredible costume!)

E and J, our country mouse and city mouse twins, had a blast together as usual. I love how they pick up after not seeing each other for months. At one point, I went to see if they wanted to play a game or something because they were just sitting in their fancy chairs. They said, "No, we're still catching up. We have a lot to talk about!" So sweet.

At midnight, everyone rang in the New Year and sang Auld Lang Syne at the top of our lungs, even though most of us didn't know all the words. It was magic and festive and such a happy place to be.

The next day, we went back over to follow through on what has become a tradition: Sharing our hopes and dreams for the coming year. Last year, I declared 2010 The Year of Being Brave.

This year, as we went around the room and I listened to so many wise, giving writers who I admire tremendously, I realized just that. They are writers. Real writers. It's who they are. Their goals and dreams defined this. All of them listed ideas that would expand their craft. Challenge them to grow and explore. They talked of writing screenplays and musicals and nonfiction and new series. And I know they will. Because writing is what they do and who they are and what makes them grow. And they've all accepted that. Maybe they never had to.

It's a little different for me.

Lots of times, I don't feel like a writer. Maybe it's because I'm afraid. Maybe it's because I still don't know how to put my writing first.

I can't say with confidence that I will sell my next book. I still can't believe I sold one in the first place.

But why? I mean, I know I did. I sold four, even. Why so much doubt? Why so much fear? Why, when people ask me what I do, do I still hesitate and wonder how to answer?

I know this is what I want. I want to create. I want to improve my craft. I want to make goals for writing something bigger and better and braver.

I want to be a writer. I want to embrace the title. I want to embrace what it means. I want to allow myself—give myself permission—to do the work. I know this entails a lot of change. I think my biggest challenge is taking myself seriously enough as a writer to put my writing first. That's the key.

If I had a 9-5 job with a boss, this wouldn't be a problem. So... why is it so different?

Yes. Why?

There is no good reason any more.

That's so hard and uncomfortable to say, but I want to believe it's true.

I want to believe this is who I am and can be.

And so...

I am declaring 2011 The Year of Being A Writer.

Who's with me?

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Monday Morning Warm-Up:

What do you want to be?