Stephen K. Ray's Blog, page 104

Fr. Chris Alar MIC & Fr. Don Calloway MIC at our “Love Being Catholic” conference

Back-to-back events — join one or both.

You can also contact our Reservations Team at 866-557-2364, or write them at FootprintsOfGod@ctscentral.net.

Or visit our website at www.FootprintsOfGod.com

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“Should I attend my Relative’s Transexual Wedding?”

After a talk I gave recently, a gentleman wrote to me asking about how to respond to the LGBTQ influence affecting his family, namely a supposed marriage coming up. I tried to respond with truth and compassion.

Steve:

I had a question I wanted to ask you.  You touched briefly on LBGQ in your talk and how our culture has not only accepted it but really promotes it — and how we need to stand out against it — and I totally agree.  

One thing I struggle with is that I have some relatives who are living the LGBTQ lifestyle. One of them is marrying a transgender (a male who thinks he is a female now) and I wonder if I should attend the wedding.  I am not sure how I let them know that I love them but disapprove of that lifestyle.  I feel attending will imply my approval but I don’t want others to think I approve.  

I also struggle with family parties that I have — as I do want to see these relatives — but I don’t really want to see that relationship present — especially as the younger ones who look up to us are starting to get older and could easily drawn into this immoral and confused culture, especially if they think that we approve of it.

Any thoughts or guidance on how to handle these situations is much appreciated.

Thanks

*****************************************

My response:

Friend:

Your instincts are correct in my opinion. By attending such an LGBTQ “wedding” you would be tacitly giving your stamp of approval which would be observed by your whole family, especially those who look up to you as an example and model.

Jesus said he came not to bring peace but a sword that will divide family members. In this context, Jesus certainly meant the Jewish believers who proclaimed their faith in Jesus as the Messiah. It would bring about rejection, similar to a divorce, by their Jewish friends and family. 

But Jesus foresaw all the future situations where loyalty to truth and morality would bring division. I think your situation is the kind of situation he was anticipating.

Matthew 10:34–39  “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.   35  For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.  36  And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household.

37  Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.  38  And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.  39  Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

Confronting a family member face-to-face is difficult and can become heated quickly. I have found in these situations like this it is a good idea to write a short and heartfelt letter explaining your love for your relative and also explaining why you cannot accept their LGBTQ lifestyle, especially their “wedding”. There’s always the principle of love the sinner and hate the sin. We should make sure to go way out of the way to demonstrate our love and acceptance of them as a person made in the image of God and a beloved family member.

A heartfelt letter can also cause a bad reaction from your relative, but at least they’re not forced to defend themselves by responding instantly. In a letter, you are better able to articulate both your love for the person and your disapproval of the deviant behavior which may be difficult to cover in a conversation. They will have time to dwell on it a bit, to digest your thoughts and words before they ever have to talk to you person-to-person.

It also seems to me that there is a difference between attending an LGRTQ wedding and going to a family gathering such as a picnic in the summer. I personally could not go to the wedding because that is making a big statement about my approval of the illicit relationship.

However, going to a family picnic or Christmas dinner is another thing, it seems to me. You are not approving of that relationship by showing up at the family event. Especially, if you do write them a letter and make it clear what your stand is, then it will be known that your participating in a larger family gathering is not specifically a condoning or approving of the relationship and the illicit marriage. I hope that makes sense.

You can explain in the letter how you have always loved your family member from birth and tried to be a good example — and that you were and are always there for them if they ever need you. However, you cannot put a stamp of approval on what you consider to be an unsound and immoral relationship contrary to God‘s law and the laws of nature. Statistics also show, that most of the time these relationships are very short-lived.

If your relative really loves you, then she will also understand you and your Catholic faith and because of their love and not hold it against you. They should do the same thing you are doing — loving you even though they disagree with your position. Unless, of course, the LGBTQ orientation is what primarily defines them. In which case, they may only accept people that celebrate the gravely immoral lifestyle they have chosen.

God bless you and may he give you the insight and the courage. We all stand before God in the end and will be held accountable for our decisions and how we influence those around us. If we condone and approve immorality or if we encourage others in their immorality, it will not bode well for us.

In the end, I guess I’d rather have my relative say at the judgment, “Now I understand why you didn’t come to my wedding.” Instead of having your relative say, “But God, my Catholic relative came to my LGBTQ wedding and accepted it so what’s the problem?”

Here is an article that I wrote that may be of some assistance although it’s not specifically pertaining to the decision you have to make. It is entitled “Six Rules for Dealing with Non-Catholic Family and Friends.”

 https://www.catholic.com/magazine/print-edition/six-rules-for-dealing-with-non-catholic-family-and-friends 

Finally, I would suggest you discuss this with a trusted priest, not one with a rainbow flag draped over his shoulders, but an honest to goodness orthodox Catholic priest.

God bless you and may he honor your faithfulness to the gospel.

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Infographic on the Meaning of Ashes

From Catholic Link

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Our Brand New 2022 Bus Awaits you in the Holy Land

Not all tour buses are created equal. Not all pilgrimage guides and drivers are created equal either!

Janet and I have been to the Holy Land over 180 times. We have led 80+ pilgrimages and we have always used the same local guide. His name is Amer and he is a Catholic from Nazareth and a walking Bible encyclopedia. When you find the best, you stick with them!

Check out “21 Questions to Ask21 Questions to Ask” before choosing a Holy Land pilgrimage.

Our driver David is an exceptional man and very much a gentleman by every standard. Plus he always has a brand new bus with all the amenities and keeps it in tiptop shape. 

I hope you can join us this year on one of our five Holy Land pilgrimages. April is already sold out and May has only a few seats left. With all the vaccine requirements removed, these trips will fill up fast.

Check our website at www.footprintsofgod.com for the latest details and brochures. You can also contact our Reservations Team at 866-557-2364, or write them at FootprintsOfGod@ctscentral.net.

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Immaculate Conception in the Bible and Early Church

William Albrecht invited me on his podcast “Reason & Theology” to discuss the Immaculate Conception. We had a ton of quotes and scripture passages that we discussed.

I certainly learned more about Mary from the Old Testament than I did from the New Testament in my conversion process. And I discovered that the early church was way ahead of me in those discoveries .We had a ton of quotes and Scripture passages that we discussed.

William goes through a lot of quotes from the Fathers which are very impressive. I join the conversation about a third of the way in to the podcast.

Hope you enjoy the show or you can share with friends and family who are not yet convinced or who need to be bolstered up in their faith. Happy Lent!

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The Skull is Talking to Me; Lent is Upon Us!

THE SKULL TALKS TO ME EVERY MORNING!

It says, “As you are now, I once was; as I am now, you soon shall be — remember your mortality!”

No better way to approach Ash Wednesday and 40 days of Lent.

Artists have painted St. Jerome with a skull on his desk. Popes were known to keep skulls in their libraries.  I now have a real human skull sitting next to me in my home office.

The famous Capuchin Church in Rome has a labyrinth of rooms filled with bone which are not just stacked in piles, but are used to decorate. The lamps are made of human bones, designs on the walls, altars, everything is made of bones of the monks who have died there over the centuries. The sign above the entrance says the same thing the skull pictured above is saying to me.

Are Catholics morbid, obsessed with bones and relics, consumed with the thought of death. Yes and  no. We are concerned about these matters, but we are not morbid. We are realistic. We know that life is short and we need to keep things in perspective and our priorities straight.

We also know that life is full of vanities. Much of what vies for our time, energy and money is like a puff of smoke that detracts us from what is really important. Notice the skull to the right, look closely. It is entitled “All is Vanity.” If you look closely you can see a picture inside the skull. (You can click on the image for a larger picture.)

I wanted to buy my coffin in advance–one to my liking and made of carved oak–to use as a coffee table in our living room. I wanted it there to remind me that someday my body would spend a lot of time in there–under the ground. But my good wife nixed my plans. She said I could get one to stand upright as a bookshelf, but not to set on the floor looking like a funeral parlor.

My goal is to pour out my life for the Savior in this life and to remind myself every day that from dust I came and to dust I will go. The skull reminds me every moment that “it is appointed for men once to die, and after that the judgment” (Hebrews 9:27). I want to be ready.

What is the Chocolate Connection with Lent? Nice article here.

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Our 1st Annual **LOVE BEING CATHOLIC** Conference with special speakers and guests

Full speaking schedule soon —

Consider making it a two-fer and join our Shines of Wisconsin pilgrimage

leading up to the conference July 25-28.

 

Opening Mass with Raymond Cardinal Burke at Our Lady of Guadalupe ShrineTwo nights at the Radisson HotelTwo full American breakfastsTwo Banquet DinnersGreat Catholic FellowshipAn evening of hilarious Catholic ComedyFour talks by our special speakers:1) Fr. Don Calloway MIC,   2) Fr. Chris Alar MIC,   3) Steve Ray4) Catholic Comedian Jeremy McLellan

 

Hilarious Comedy Club with Catholic comedian Jeremy McLellan

Jeremy McLellan is an internationally touring standup comedian who was recently honored as a New Face of Comedy at the prestigious Just for Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal. A staple at interfaith events around the world, he has completed sold-out tours in the US, Canada, UK, and Pakistan. A recent convert to Catholicism, his work has appeared in America Magazine and Catholic Herald.

Visit HERE for more information, a map, and online registration. You can also contact our Reservations Team at 866-557-2364, or write them at FootprintsOfGod@ctscentral.net. 

Consider making it a two-fer and join our Shines of Wisconsin leading up to the conference July 25-28.

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Join the Bible Study focused on the Rosary – My Talk is on the Baptism of Our Lord

Hope you can join us for the free Bible Conference this weekend of February 25-27 focusing on the sites and meditations of the Rosary. Our goal is to give the biblical background to this wonderful prayer.

My topic is the Baptism of Our Lord and I use maps, pictures and other visuals to help make this Mystery come alive with all its historical, typological and biblical importance.

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Our Pilgrimage Chaplain Fr. Frans Starts a Fire Cooking French Fries

For those who have traveled with us on pilgrimage and who have had the blessing of Fr. Frans Berkout as chaplain, you will get a kick out of this short video.

In his “true to self” style and good humor, he made this funny video with other priests to raise funds for needy folks in his diocese. You can read the story on Aleteia here and watcth the two minute video below.

Fr. Frans will be our chaplain to Philadelphia in May, Oberammergau Germany in August and to Israel in December.

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BIG NEWS! Israel has dropped all vaccine requirements starting March 1

Israel can be visited now with no vaccines required!

Our pilgrimages will now fill fast!! April (sold out), May, September, November and December.

Visit FootprintsOfGod.com

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