Gretchen Rubin's Blog, page 4
November 18, 2024
Gretchen Rubin’s Gifts for Gen Z Daughters
Is it just me or is Gen Z one of the hardest groups to gift for? Luckily, I know my own daughters pretty well and here are the things I’m excited about this year.
This post includes products that I believe in and love myself. It also includes affiliate links , meaning I will receive a commission if you decide to make a purchase from these links. This never comes at any cost to you.
Calpak bags My sister told me about this plushy tote, and I know that Eliza and Eleanor will love it.
Lego succulents So fun! LEGOS+miniature+plant, what could be better?
Clothes Steamer Eliza is a real fashionista, and very fastidious, so a steamer is something she will really use.
Personalized Pet Pillow I’ve given this gift before, and I’ll give it again!
Abby Alley Sling Bag This bag is stylish and super-handy.
Comme Si socks I wanted to embrace the new fashion in socks, and Eliza ordered me several of these pairs to get me started.
Ember smart thermos travel mug The to-go version of this handy item!
Baggu Go pouch bag set I seem to have a limitless need for zippered pouches of every size, so I often give them as gifts.
shop the list See Gretchen’s Other Gift Guides GIFTS FOR HOME GIFTS FOR REST GIFTS FOR FAMILY GIFTS FOR READERSThe post Gretchen Rubin’s Gifts for Gen Z Daughters appeared first on Gretchen Rubin.
Gretchen Rubin’s Gifts for Family
Every year, we do the holidays in Kansas City with my family. These are some of my favorite, tried and true gifts for everyone from my husband Jamie, to my sister Elizabeth and our parents.
This post includes products that I believe in and love myself. It also includes affiliate links , meaning I will receive a commission if you decide to make a purchase from these links. This never comes at any cost to you.
Personalized dog socks We’re all dog-crazy in my family, and I can’t wait to give my husband some socks decorated with Barnaby’s face.
Ember temp control smart mug A friend loves her Ember mug so much that she sent me one for no reason at all.
Nebo lightweight flashlight My mother told me how handy this little flashlight has turned out to be; she carries it with her all the time.
Dishwasher magnet On the podcast, we’ve talked about the politics of the dishwasher. This helps—and is a great stocking stuffer.
Wooden Met tree advent calendar The minute I spotted this wooden Advent calendar, I knew I had to have one. I love the Met; I love Advent calendars; I love little drawers.
I want you to know journal This is one of our new items this year. And I just love it so much.
shop the list See Gretchen’s Other Gift Guides GIFTS FOR HOME GIFTS FOR REST GIFTS FOR GEN Z GIFTS FOR READERSThe post Gretchen Rubin’s Gifts for Family appeared first on Gretchen Rubin.
Gretchen Rubin’s Cozy Gifts for Rest & Relaxation
As the weather gets colder here in the northeast, I love prepping for cozy moments of rest and relaxation. This is one of the ways I recharge during the busy holiday season—and, of course, throughout the year.
Here are some of my favorite items for rest and relaxation! Add in a good book (check out my favorite gifts for readers here!) and a fireplace and I’m in my happy place.
This post includes products that I believe in and love myself. It also includes affiliate links , meaning I will receive a commission if you decide to make a purchase from these links. This never comes at any cost to you.
Ghirardelli cocoa powder My father’s special treat is hot chocolate, and this is his favorite brand.
Ember Smart Mug A friend loves her Ember mug so much that she sent me one for no reason at all.
Summit slippers When Elizabeth and I were on our hiking trip in England, I spotted these slippers in an outdoor store and knew I had to have them for my perpetually cold feet.
Rechargeable hand warmers I have cold feet and also cold hands, so my mother got me this delightful device as a gift.
Hatch sound machine The research for my book Life in Five Senses convinced me, more than ever before, of the importance of shaping our sensory surroundings.
Eberjey PJs My very favorite pajamas–the texture and stretch is perfect.
Fleece Throw Blanket Have you noticed a theme? I’m always cold. So I love a light, soft, warm fleece blanket.
The post Gretchen Rubin’s Cozy Gifts for Rest & Relaxation appeared first on Gretchen Rubin.
November 15, 2024
Gretchen Rubin’s Gifts for Readers
It can be intimidating to pick out books for people, but I love supporting readers. Here are some of my favorite gifts for readers.
This post includes products that I believe and love myself. It also includes affiliate links , meaning I will receive a commission if you decide to make a purchase from these links. This never comes at any cost to you.
Weighted leather bookmark Before Jamie gave this to me, I didn’t even know what a book weight was; now I use mine every day.
Clip on reading light I go to sleep before Jamie, so this little reading light has been very important to our marriage.
Neck book light Another great way to shed light on night-time reading.
The Book Seat Sometimes, you don’t know that you want something until you learn that it exists. This is a super-handy tool for reading.
Audible membership Many people tackle their book stack by listening–which definitely counts!
Personalized book embosser stamp Things that are personalized always seem particularly thoughtful, and a book stamp is a great gift for anyone who loves books.
shop the list See Gretchen’s Other Gift Guides GIFTS FOR HOME GIFTS FOR REST GIFTS FOR FAMILY GIFTS FOR READERSThe post Gretchen Rubin’s Gifts for Readers appeared first on Gretchen Rubin.
October 24, 2024
What’s Your Gift-Appreciation Profile?
Last year, I launched my Gift–Giving Quiz to address that common challenge: having no idea what gift to give someone.
This quiz helps!
It identifies your recipient’s “gift-appreciation profile”:
Easy-to-PleaseTried-and-TrueEnthusiastConnoisseurKnowing a recipient’s type will help spark fresh ideas for the types of gifts they’ll love.
But here’s the surprising thing—
Often, when I suggest an idea or framework, people add their own twist in ways that didn’t occur to me.
With the Gift–Giving Quiz, people use it for a purpose that I didn’t foresee—but which, I now realize, is absolutely obvious. They take the quiz for themselves, to understand their own preferences.
When I took my own quiz, I discovered that I’m an Easy-to-Please. Strange as it may sound, I didn’t know that about myself before I took the quiz—even though I created the quiz!
Knowing that I’m an Easy-to-Please has helped me identify gifts that I’d like to ask for. (In my family, we exchange lots of holiday gifts, and each person is expected to provide a list of several things they’d like to receive, to make the gift selection process easier.)
According to the quiz, Easy-to-Please recipients can be happy with many types of gifts, and are particularly gratified when you explain why you chose a particular item with them in mind. They’re open to trying new things and often enjoy receiving items that you personally use and recommend.
I can tell family members, “I know you love using X. I’d like to try it, too” and “I love an inside-joke kind of gift.”
For instance, I love the Parks and Recreation mug that my sister Elizabeth gave me. Parks and Rec is one of my favorite TV shows, and Elizabeth is a true connoisseur of mugs, and it makes me happy every time I use it.
Sometimes people say, “If you define me, you confine me” and resist categories. But I find that it’s often very clarifying to have the loose, large categories—they help us see ourselves more clearly, and to understand how other people’s preferences.
Click here to take the quiz for yourself or someone on your gift list.
The post What’s Your Gift-Appreciation Profile? appeared first on Gretchen Rubin.
October 9, 2024
Three Ways to Prioritize Mental Health, Starting Today: A Conversation with BetterHelp’s Sonni Williams For World Mental Health Day
Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post in partnership with BetterHelp. I only endorse products or tools that I think are useful, fun, or interesting.
Sonni Williams is a Senior Clinical Operations Manager at BetterHelp, today’s largest online therapy service. BetterHelp’s network of over 30,000 licensed therapists has helped millions of people worldwide take ownership of their mental health and work towards their personal goals by providing professional, affordable, and personalized therapy in a convenient online format. Sonni is passionate about erasing the stigma around therapy and the ever-changing mental health landscape for BIPOC. Before joining the BetterHelp team, she worked in private practice as a therapist and has worked with and supported youth as a licensed K-12 school counselor.
For World Mental Health Day, I couldn’t wait to talk to Sonni about the importance of self-knowledge, common barriers to pursuing mental health solutions, and practical tips we can put into practice, starting today.
Q: In my research on habits and habit formation, I’ve found that the most important step is the first step. I’ve also come to recognize the tremendous importance of the time of beginning. When it comes to therapy, do you also find this to be true? Are there any examples of this showing up in your work that you can share?
I wholeheartedly agree that the first step is crucial when it comes to starting your therapeutic journey. It also takes a lot of courage to take that step and I always celebrate when people take that leap to better themselves and their mental health. In my work, I specialize in narrative and bibliotherapy which helps clients to rewrite their stories and in a lot of ways rewrite their lives. Habits and habit formation are key pieces to how I work.
Q: What have you found to be the most common barriers to people prioritizing mental health solutions? What are 3-5 practical tips you can share that people can use starting today?
The most common barriers to people prioritizing their mental health that I have seen in my career has been readiness, affordability, and dealing with stigmas surrounding mental health.
One practical tip that people can start using today to prioritize their mental health is to start small. I always promote the following:
Spend time with yourself . Sometimes this is easier said than done, but spend quality time with yourself. Journal, work on your awareness, rediscover hobbies. Spend time outdoors or in nature. Go for a walk, a bike ride. If you are near water, like a lake or a beach, spend some time there. Move your body…..with intention . Find a form of exercise that you actually enjoy and make it a part of your weekly routine.
Q: A key conclusion I’ve drawn in my study of happiness, habits, and human nature is that we can build a happy life only on the foundation of our own nature, our own values, and our own interests. In my own case, I’ve found that the more my life reflects my nature, the happier I become. But it’s surprisingly hard to know ourselves! It’s easy to be distracted by the way we wish we were, or think we ought to be, or what others want us to be, until we lose sight of what is actually true. How do you think about this in the context of your work with BetterHelp?
I am really lucky to work for a company like BetterHelp that allows me to show up as my full self. It’s allowed me to do better work, have a better work/life balance, and thoroughly enjoy my work. In my work as a therapist, I strive to get my clients to that level of knowing themselves so that they can truly own their narratives and create life on their terms so that they can tap into building a happy life of their own.
Q: I often tell people that there’s no one “best” way or “right” way to make our lives happier; we each need to find the way that’s right for us. Does this ring true for you when it comes to pursuing our mental health or approaching therapy?
100%! What I love about the mental health field and therapy as a whole is that there are so many different approaches and ways to implement therapy into your life. If you find that one type of therapy doesn’t work for you, I strongly urge you to try another type and be open to different modalities. Once you find the right therapy fit for you, it’s life-changing in the best way.
BetterHelp was founded in 2013 to remove the traditional barriers to therapy and make mental health care more accessible to everyone. As the unmet need for mental health services continues to grow, BetterHelp is committed to expanding access to therapy globally.
In honor of World Mental Health Day, BetterHelp is offering readers 25% off of their services. Click here to learn more or get started today.
The post Three Ways to Prioritize Mental Health, Starting Today: A Conversation with BetterHelp’s Sonni Williams For World Mental Health Day appeared first on Gretchen Rubin.
Three Ways to Prioritize Mental Health, Starting Today: A Conversation with BetterHelp’s Sonni Wlliams For World Mental Health Day
Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post in partnership with BetterHelp. I only endorse products or tools that I think are useful, fun, or interesting.
Sonni Williams is a Senior Clinical Operations Manager at BetterHelp, today’s largest online therapy service. BetterHelp’s network of over 30,000 licensed therapists has helped millions of people worldwide take ownership of their mental health and work towards their personal goals by providing professional, affordable, and personalized therapy in a convenient online format. Sonni is passionate about erasing the stigma around therapy and the ever-changing mental health landscape for BIPOC. Before joining the BetterHelp team, she worked in private practice as a therapist and has worked with and supported youth as a licensed K-12 school counselor.
For World Mental Health Day, I couldn’t wait to talk to Sonni about the importance of self-knowledge, common barriers to pursuing mental health solutions, and practical tips we can put into practice, starting today.
Q: In my research on habits and habit formation, I’ve found that the most important step is the first step. I’ve also come to recognize the tremendous importance of the time of beginning. When it comes to therapy, do you also find this to be true? Are there any examples of this showing up in your work that you can share?
I wholeheartedly agree that the first step is crucial when it comes to starting your therapeutic journey. It also takes a lot of courage to take that step and I always celebrate when people take that leap to better themselves and their mental health. In my work, I specialize in narrative and bibliotherapy which helps clients to rewrite their stories and in a lot of ways rewrite their lives. Habits and habit formation are key pieces to how I work.
Q: What have you found to be the most common barriers to people prioritizing mental health solutions? What are 3-5 practical tips you can share that people can use starting today?
The most common barriers to people prioritizing their mental health that I have seen in my career has been readiness, affordability, and dealing with stigmas surrounding mental health.
One practical tip that people can start using today to prioritize their mental health is to start small. I always promote the following:
Spend time with yourself . Sometimes this is easier said than done, but spend quality time with yourself. Journal, work on your awareness, rediscover hobbies. Spend time outdoors or in nature. Go for a walk, a bike ride. If you are near water, like a lake or a beach, spend some time there. Move your body…..with intention . Find a form of exercise that you actually enjoy and make it a part of your weekly routine.
Q: A key conclusion I’ve drawn in my study of happiness, habits, and human nature is that we can build a happy life only on the foundation of our own nature, our own values, and our own interests. In my own case, I’ve found that the more my life reflects my nature, the happier I become. But it’s surprisingly hard to know ourselves! It’s easy to be distracted by the way we wish we were, or think we ought to be, or what others want us to be, until we lose sight of what is actually true. How do you think about this in the context of your work with BetterHelp?
I am really lucky to work for a company like BetterHelp that allows me to show up as my full self. It’s allowed me to do better work, have a better work/life balance, and thoroughly enjoy my work. In my work as a therapist, I strive to get my clients to that level of knowing themselves so that they can truly own their narratives and create life on their terms so that they can tap into building a happy life of their own.
Q: I often tell people that there’s no one “best” way or “right” way to make our lives happier; we each need to find the way that’s right for us. Does this ring true for you when it comes to pursuing our mental health or approaching therapy?
100%! What I love about the mental health field and therapy as a whole is that there are so many different approaches and ways to implement therapy into your life. If you find that one type of therapy doesn’t work for you, I strongly urge you to try another type and be open to different modalities. Once you find the right therapy fit for you, it’s life-changing in the best way.
BetterHelp was founded in 2013 to remove the traditional barriers to therapy and make mental health care more accessible to everyone. As the unmet need for mental health services continues to grow, BetterHelp is committed to expanding access to therapy globally.
In honor of World Mental Health Day, BetterHelp is offering readers 25% off of their services. Click here to learn more or get started today.
The post Three Ways to Prioritize Mental Health, Starting Today: A Conversation with BetterHelp’s Sonni Wlliams For World Mental Health Day appeared first on Gretchen Rubin.
October 8, 2024
New Products in the Happiness Project Collection
It’s a happiness extravaganza! Over the past several months, I’ve been working with a brilliant team to create imaginative, useful tools for living happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative lives.
One of my “Secrets of Adulthood” is “Beautiful tools make work a joy,” and we put a lot of work into making these tools helpful and also beautiful.
Happiness Hacks Card DeckAs my own experience and listeners of the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast have made clear, we all love hacks!
So if you need a boost, draw a card with happiness hack. These tasks and treats will help you clear clutter, tap into your senses, feel energized, connect with others, and have a little fun. Shuffle the deck and draw a card anytime, at work or at home.
Happiness hacks can have a surprisingly powerful effect—in less than five minutes. After a quick win, you may feel a little happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative.
Ancient philosophers and modern scientists agree: a key to happiness is strong relationships with other people. This journal is designed to help you put your loving feelings into words and allow you to create a meaningful keepsake for an important person. The thought-provoking prompts guide you through recording your favorite memories and capturing the things you’ve always wanted to say.
For my whole life, I’ve collected memorable quotations on the subjects of happiness and human nature from authors, artists, and great minds. In this page-a-day calendar, I share my favorites. Every day, you’ll find a brief observation that’s profound, thought-provoking, or amusing, with room to add your own notes and reminders.
When I was growing up, for Christmas each year, I received a Word-a-Day calendar and my father received a Far Side Page-a-Day calendar with Gary Larson cartoons. Because I have such fond feelings for the page-a-day format, it gives me special delight to combine my love of sharing quotations with my love of the page-a-day.
Life feels richer and more memorable when each season feels distinctive. This guide is designed to help you shape your year, season by season, with reminders to stop, reflect, and consider what changes could make your life happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative.
There’s no one-size-fits-all solution for happiness and good habits. The exercises in this guide, inspired by the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast, offer many creative ways to approach building habits and accomplishing your aims for the year.
You can start any time. Remember, the best time to start a happiness project is twenty years ago. The second-best time is now.
Explore the Happiness Project Collection and shop exciting new products designed to help you become happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative.
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September 18, 2024
Spotlight on the “I Want You to Know” Journal
Ta-da! I’m extremely excited to announce my new journal: I Want You to Know: My Portrait of You. I’ve never done a journal like this before.
Speaking for myself, I cannot wait to fill out multiple copies to give as holiday gifts this year.
Some background: Ancient philosophers and modern scientists agree that a key—perhaps the key—to happiness is strong relationships with other people.
But if you’re like me, you may find it hard to put loving feelings into words—to express yourself openly. Or, in the business of everyday life, you find it hard to take the time to share funny or significant memories.
This journal will help you to put your loving feelings into words, and by making that record, it allows you to create a meaningful keepsake for someone you love.
The questions will prompt you to capture the things you’ve always wanted to say and record your favorite memories.
I’m planning to use this journal to create birthday and Christmas gifts. It would also make a great keepsake for a wedding, a graduation, an anniversary, a Valentine’s Day gift, a retirement, or any milestone moment. Or just as a spontaneous gift!
I wish this journal had been ready so that I could’ve filled it out and packed it in the “blues bag” I gave to my daughter Eleanor when we dropped her off at college.
It would be fun to give a blank journal to a child so that they could fill it out for a parent, grandparent, or best friend as a “handmade” gift.
I worked with a brilliant team on this journal—the design is gorgeous and the questions are very thought-provoking. Here are just a few of my favorites:
One of my first memories of you is….These songs make me think of you:A habit of yours I secretly find endearing is…Knowing you had made me…This quotation makes me think of you:
As you see, the prompts are open-ended, so you can pick the vibe that works for you—tender, humorous, whimsical, nostalgic.
Expressing ourselves creatively can be a very important element in a happy life, and I’m very interested in everyday creativity—how we can express ourselves imaginatively without needing a lot of time, energy, money—or even skill! The design of this journal makes it easy to create something that, while not taxing in execution, is nevertheless extraordinarily meaningful and creative.
Once you get the journal, here’s a practical note: Read through all the prompts before you start filling in the pages; you may find that a particular story or detail fits better in a different prompt.
I’m sure that people will come up with inventive ways to use this journal that I haven’t even considered. I can’t wait for it to make its way into the world.
I Want You to Know: My Portrait of You is available for pre-order now, and ships by late October. Click here to visit the Happiness Project Shop to learn more and pre-order your copy.
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September 4, 2024
Reflections on a 30th Wedding Anniversary: 30 Things I’ve Learned
On September 4, 2024, my husband Jamie and I will have been married for thirty years. Unbelievable.
We didn’t notice it at the time, but our wedding date is easy to remember: 9/4/94. Very handy. At this point, we’ve lived together longer than we lived apart.
To mark this occasion, I decided to reflect on some things I’ve learned about happiness and relationships—specifically, in honor of 30 years, 30 things I’ve learned about staying happier in my relationship to Jamie. Spoiler alert: This is a very idiosyncratic list.
With Jamie, I had love at first sight. How well I remember that moment in the law library! I felt Cupid’s arrow pierce my heart. I don’t believe that everyone experiences love at first sight, or that it’s infallible, or that it always lasts forever—but I don’t think it’s a Hollywood invention.
We met, we got engaged several months later, we got married soon after that—and I thought I knew Jamie extremely well. Hah! Now that we’ve been married thirty years, I realize how little we actually knew about each other.
I feel extraordinarily fortunate that with each year that passes, I feel a deeper love for Jamie, more admiration for his great qualities, and more tolerance for his…”quirks.”
Here are 30 observations, insights, memories, and reminders I give myself:
I should go to bed angry.Don’t expect Jamie to do anything like a “happiness project.” That’s not his style, and that’s fine.Don’t underestimate the importance of the fact that we both like to get to the airport early.Grab his hand, put my arm around him, give him a hug; Jamie’s love language is “Physical Touch.”Face the fact that he’s not going to answer a lot of my texts and emails. Recognize that he’s like this with everyone, it’s not just me.Celebrate the anniversary of January 9, 2015, as the happiest day of my life—the day when Jamie was declared “cured” of the hepatitis C he got from a blood transfusion when he was eight years old.Recognize my tendency to blame Jamie when things go wrong, even when it’s not his fault.Remember that time when a nurse asked us if we were newlyweds, when in fact we’d been married for more than a decade and had two children.When I get mad about something Jamie does or doesn’t do, make the positive argument–usually, it holds. “Jamie never helps us get ready for travel” “Jamie always helps us get ready for travel.”Give Jamie a kiss every morning and every evening.Whenever possible, when making a complaint or criticism, lighten up. Using a humorous tone, an inside joke, or a callback lets me make my point, but nicely.Use written notes to give reminders to Jamie, instead of talking.Remember that Jamie is one of those Questioners who doesn’t like to answer questions. Yes, I see the irony.Every time Jamie comes and goes from the apartment, get up out of my seat to say hello or good-bye.Whenever possible, text him with funny photos or interesting news.Remember the time Jamie woke me up to see the sunrise.Jamie is really good at giving thoughtful gifts, which shows that he pays close attention to the interests and desires of the people around him.Tell him how much I admire his dedication to civic matters.Tell him how much I appreciate his love for going to the grocery store.Tell him how much I appreciate the fact that he has an encyclopedic memory for faces, names, and facts about people, as well as his surprising knowledge about a wide variety of subjects.Sometimes I get hopping mad when Jamie doesn’t “cc” me on an email or fails to give me important information—e.g., he’s committed both of us to attending an event. Remember: That’s the guy I married! Nobody’s perfect.When our daughters were little, when they were asleep, Jamie would sometimes say, “Let’s gaze lovingly,” and we’d stand together in the hallway and gaze at them through the half-opened door. It’s a beautiful memory.He worries about the people he loves; give him reassurances when he needs them, even when I find it tiring.Appreciate the fact that we both get along very well with each other’s parents.Remember that even when he doesn’t respond to some remark I’ve made, he’s listening; he’ll often act on something I’ve said without comment. (I used to assume he wasn’t paying attention because he wasn’t replying.)Jamie rarely praises me, and he rarely criticizes me.Jamie never complains about the fact that I have such a dislike of driving, even though it means that he’s stuck doing all the driving.Jamie’s great about planning adventures, buying tickets to shows, finding restaurants in interesting neighborhoods, discovering new TV shows and podcasts, and so on, and this is one way he makes our lives richer and happier.In general, and particularly as a father, Jamie worries about things that don’t worry me, and he’s not anxious about things that make me anxious—so we’re a good balance. (Some things, we both worry about!)As a Questioner, Jamie won’t do something unless he thinks it makes sense. When sometimes this behavior annoys annoys me, I remind myself how helpful this attitude often is.
Thirty years ago, in our wedding ceremony, we included the poem “Hummingbird/For Tess” by Raymond Carver. It seems appropriate for a 30th anniversary, too:
Suppose I say summer,
write the word “hummingbird,”
put it in an envelope,
take it down the hill
to the box. When you open
my letter you will recall
those days and how much,
just how much, I love you.
Also, if you like, you can hear me read the very short and beautiful story “I Was Trying to Describe You to Someone” by Richard Brautigan, which was also read during our wedding ceremony.
I just decided that in honor of this day, I’m going to go look at our wedding album. It’s been a while since I pulled it off the shelf. I’ll ask Jamie if he wants to look, too.
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