Gretchen Rubin's Blog, page 249

9 Tips for Why Starting a Happiness-Project Group Will Boost Your Happiness.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

This Wednesday: 9 reasons why starting a happiness-project group will boost your happiness.

A few days ago, I posted about happiness-project groups -- for people who want to launch or join a group for people doing happiness projects together. My new and improved starter kit is ready, for those who are interested (just email me at grubin at gretchenrubin dot com if you want a copy).

If you're wondering whether being a part of such a group would indeed boost your happiness, I believe the answer is yes: in two ways.

First, making and keeping a happiness-related resolution will make you happier. Feeling in better control of our circumstances, cultivating an atmosphere of growth, making an effort to ensure that our lives reflect our values -- these steps will make you happier, and a happiness-project group will help you accomplish this.

Second, wholly apart from the purpose of the group, just being part of a new group will make you happier. Meeting new people, pushing yourself in a new direction, being part of something -- these aspects of a happiness-project group will boost your happiness, as well.

Specifically:

1. Being part of a group will help you feel accountable for keeping your resolutions, which is why people join groups like Weight Watchers and Alcoholics Anonymous. You're much more likely to stick to a difficult resolution if you know you'll be asked to report on your progress -- or lack of progress.

2. Research shows that when you commit to a regular, ritualized form of connection, you're more apt to stay in touch with people. Being part of a group that meets regularly helps solidify relationships.

3. Socializing individually is more intimate, but socializing in a group also carries benefits. I'm a member of many groups, and in my groups, different members have pulled in their friends, and through this, I've made new friends. In a phenomenon called "triadic closure," people tend to befriend the friends of their friends – and this is very satisfying. Also, it's easier to maintain friendships in a network than to maintain a lot of "one-off" friendships.

4. Everyone, even introverts, get a boost of happiness and energy when they interact with other people. Also, people enjoy almost all activities more when others are involved.

5. Having lots of close relationships makes it far more likely that people describe themselves as "very happy."

6. If you feel the way I did, you may feel like you're making the same resolutions, without any progress, year after year. In a group, you can share ideas and encouragement. You may discover a solution you never considered, or get energy from the knowledge that other people share the same difficulties.

7. For happiness, it's important to get support – but just as important to give support. As a group member, you'll be able to help other people to make progress in their lives, and that will give you an enormous happiness boost.

8. In the tumult of everyday life, it can be hard to take the time to think about the things that really matter. By setting aside this time for deliberation, you can make sure that your life reflect your values.

9. Being part of a group is fun! Fun may sound trivial, but it's not. People who report regularly having fun are much more likely to describe themselves as very happy.

Some people believe that it's selfish to want to be happier. I disagree. I explain my reasoning here, Happiness Myth #10: The biggest myth--it's selfish to want to be happier, but that post can be summarized in the Second Splendid Truth:

One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy;

One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

The epigraph to the book The Happiness Project is a quotation from Robert Louis Stevenson: "There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy." Joining a group to make the effort to address your own happiness will better equip you to turn outward, to make other people happy, as well.

Good luck!

* I just found Bakadesuyo, which describes itself as "just the interesting stuff," and there really is a bunch of very interesting stuff there. I spent waaaaay too much time poking around.

* If you'd like a copy of the new and improved starter kit, for launching a group for people doing happiness projects together, email me at grubin at gretchenrubin dot com. Just write "starter kit" in the subject line. If you want to start your own individual happiness project, apart from a group (which is how I did my project), look here for some ideas about getting started.

Video: Acknowledge the Reality of Other People's Feelings. Harder Than It Sounds.

2010 Happiness Challenge: For those of you following the 2010 Happiness Project Challenge, to make 2010 a happier year – and even if you haven't officially signed up for the challenge -- this month's theme is Family. Last week's focus was Be a treasure house of happy memories. Specifically, use a file box. Did you try to follow that resolution? Did it help to boost your happiness?

This week's resolution is to Acknowledge the reality of other people's feelings. Caution: this sounds easy, but is actually challenging.

If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…

Acknowledge the reality of other people's feelings.

8 tips for finding the right thing to say in a difficult situation.

7 tips for defusing a child's tantrum.

If you're new, here's information on the 2010 Happiness Challenge (or watch the intro video). It's never too late to start! You're not behind, jump in right now, sign up here. For more ideas, check out the Happiness Project site on Woman's Day.

* I love the Lulu Titlescorer! You can enter your idea for a title for a novel, and Titlescorer will calculate its odds for being a bestseller. I fantasize about writing a young adult novel one of these days, and my tentative title scored 63.7%; the highest possible score is 83%, so that wasn't too bad. You can read more about Titlescorer here.

* Please subscribe to my YouTube Channel. Check out the new design! To get the weekly video by email, right in your email in-box, you can:

-- On the GretchenRubin channel page, after you subscribe, click "Edit Subscription" and check the box, "Email me for new uploads." Or...

-- Go to your main drop-down box, click "Subscriptions," find the GretchenRubin channel, click "Edit Subscriptions," and check "Email me for new uploads" there.

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