Gretchen Rubin's Blog, page 248

"The Secret of Happiness Lies in Taking a Genuine Interest in All the Details of Daily Life."

"The secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life."

-- William Morris

I'm thunderstruck by the truth of this observation. In other words, mindfulness. Always mindfulness!

* Today, a reader commenting on the previous post mentioned TVTropes.org (and its addictive qualities). If you've never looked at it, check it out. Fascinating.

* If you'd like the new and improved starter kit for starting your own happiness-project group, for people doing happiness projects together, email me at grubin at gretchenrubin dot com. If you're wondering why you'd want to consider doing that, read here.

Feeling Stressed Out? Find a "Comfort Food" for Your Mind.

I'm working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone's project will look different, but it's the rare person who can't benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday's post will help you think about your own happiness project.

One question for anyone doing a happiness project is: What do I do when I'm facing a big happiness challenge? When I've lost my job, or I'm worried about my child, or I'm scared about a medical diagnosis?

When I've been extremely anxious about something, I've found that it helps to give myself a short break from my worries, at least occasionally. By finding a "comfort food" activity for my mind, I re-charge my battery, find it easier to stay calm and cheerful, find it easier to take action -- and I sleep better. But this is easier said than done.

For example, when my older daughter was born, she was in the intensive-care unit for a week. I spent all my time there and was worn to a frazzle, and finally, my husband pulled me away to see some silly movie in the middle of the day. I was amazed by how refreshed I was after that break -- and how much better I dealt with the strain of the situation.

We all suffer from negativity bias, that is, we react to the bad more strongly and persistently than to the comparable good. Research shows one consequence of negativity bias is that when people's thoughts wander, they tend to begin to brood. Anxious or angry thoughts capture our attention more effectively than happier thoughts.

So look for ways to pull your mind away from your worries onto positive topics. One great way is to watch a movie – preferably something funny! -- or watch a favorite TV show. Don't muddy the experience by trying to multi-task; you're not going to get the benefit of taking a break from your own thoughts if you're watching Shrek while you pay bills or fold laundry. Give yourself a proper vacation: sit down and enjoy what you're doing.

My favorite activity is reading, and when I really need "comfort food" for my mind, I read Victorian novels or children's literature (the more stressed out I am, the younger I go; Oz books are a danger sign). I always re-read, too; when I'm upset, I want the comfort of knowing that I'll love the book and that I won't be upset by some unexpected plot twist.

I do find that some activities that are usually happiness-inducing don't work very well when I'm preoccupied with bad thoughts. Listening to music, for example, is an extremely effective way to boost mood, but I find it too easy to start thinking about my worries when I'm listening – others might not have this problem. Similarly, although going for a walk usually cheers me up, it also gives me an excellent opportunity to brood if I'm inclined that way.

Cooking, cleaning, playing with your kids, playing video games, playing basketball – different people find different solutions. If you can find an activity that gives you exercise, gets you outside, or brings you in contact with other people, that's especially effective.

So if you're feeling overwhelmed, schedule a breather for yourself. By cheering yourself up, you'll make yourself feel better, and you'll also equip yourself to deal more effectively with tough situations.

Have you found a good way to give yourself a mental vacation -- or an activity that acts as a comfort food for your mind?

* People debate whether technology is adding to, or subtracting from, our happiness. A study suggests that access to communication technology does boost happiness. I just remind myself technology is a good servant, but a bad master.

* Want to get my free monthly newsletter? It highlights the best of the month's material from the blog and the Facebook Page. Email me at grubin at gretchenrubin dot com. Just write "newsletter" in the subject line. About 50,000 people get it.

"We're Often Under the Mistaken Impression that Cheering People Up Involves Being Sunny."

Happiness interview: Alain de Botton.

I'm a longtime and ardent fan of Alain de Botton. Sometimes, you find a writer who shares your preoccupations, and this is absolutely the case for me with his imaginative, insightful work. Subjects including happiness, work, love, and the problem of biography -- his books tackle all these fascinating subjects, and more. His latest book is A Week at the Airport, about his experience as the "writer-in-residence" at London's Heathrow Airport. It's about travel, globalism, the power of place...many things.

Also, I've always been fascinated by how structure and presentation of ideas influence the way people perceive them. Many of Alain de Botton's books -- including the one that's probably my favorite, How Proust Can Change Your Life -- use unconventional structure to drive home the analysis. I love playing with structure, and in fact, of the four books that I published before The Happiness Project, like Forty Ways to Look at Winston Churchill, all used unconventional structures.

Because I'm so powerfully interested in what interests him, I was thrilled to get the chance to ask Alain de Botton some questions about happiness.

Gretchen: What's a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?

Alain: I am never happier than when I give myself time to be on my own, with a pad and paper, with the space to think. This sounds easy, but it's very easy to feel that this is unproductive. I like a quote from Nietzsche: 'Whoever cannot spend two-thirds of the day alone, doing what he pleases, is a slave.'

What's something you know now about happiness that you didn't know when you were 18 years old?

That happiness is made up of moments not vast stretches. It's hard to be happy for more than half an hour at the time. But that's OK, we are creatures who relish a challenge and happiness is the reward for achievement.

Is there anything you find yourself doing repeatedly that gets in the way of your happiness?

I get easily anxious about how little time there is left to live and how much there is still to do.

Is there a happiness mantra or motto that you've found very helpful? (e.g., I remind myself to "Be Gretchen.") Or a happiness quotation that has struck you as particularly insightful?

I love this quote from Seneca: 'What need is there to weep over parts of life? The whole of it calls for tears.' It's pessimistic, but like many dark things, it's funny and cheers one up. We're often under the mistaken impression that cheering people up involves being sunny.

If you're feeling blue, how do you give yourself a happiness boost?

I like to listen to Bach's Cantatas, beautiful, melancholic, well structured music that articulates the sounds of the soul in pain.

* I loved seeing this display of treehouses from around the world. Beautiful

* If your book group, spirituality book group, or church group is reading The Happiness Project -- or considering it -- I've prepared a one-page discussion guide for book groups, as well as a guide tailored for church groups, spirituality book groups, and the like. If you'd like either discussion guide (or both), email me at grubin at gretchenrubin dot com.

Trying To Go from Couch Potato to Regular Runner (or Whatever)? 6 Tips for Sticking to Your Resolution.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

This Wednesday: 6 tips to hold yourself accountable for keeping your resolutions.

One thing I've discovered from doing my happiness project is – no surprise – it's easy and fun to make a resolution, but it's not always easy to keep a resolution.

I'm fascinated by the question: what allows people to keep resolutions? Why does one couch potato suddenly decide to start going to the gym, and then goes regularly for years, while another similar couch potato just can't stick with a program? Why does my sister keep resolving to learn to cook, but never follows up? Why can't I make myself floss regularly? And yet I've been able to keep my one-sentence journal.

The first step, in my case at least, is to make a concrete, well-directed resolution. Samuel Johnson wrote a prayer that includes the line, "O GOD, grant me to resolve aright, and to keep my resolutions." At first, this puzzled me. I understood praying for the strength to keep resolutions, but why make the special request to be able to "resolve aright"? Now I understand that resolving aright is very important. (See #1 below.)

The second step is to hold myself accountable. This is enormously important. The constant review of resolutions, and the knowledge that I'm being held accountable for sticking to them, makes a huge difference. I know that this holds true for other people, as well.

So how do you hold yourself accountable? Here are some strategies that have worked for me:

1.Frame your resolution in concrete actions. If you resolve to "Get more joy out of life" or "Embrace the present," it's hard to hold yourself accountable. It's easier to be answerable for a specific action like "Spend at least one hour a week hiking" or "Sit in a chair for fifteen minutes every day, with no distractions."

2.Keep a chart. Having made a resolution, you have to check yourself in some way. I print out a new copy of my Resolutions Chart each month and carry it around with me. At least once each day, I review and score my resolutions. (Email me at grubin at gretchenrubin dot com if you'd like to take a look at my chart, as an example.) This method works if you like to use old-fashioned pen and paper; if you prefer to do such things online, you can...

3.Use the Happiness Project Toolbox. If you want to keep your Resolutions Chart online, use the Toolbox – the Resolutions Tool and the Group Resolutions Tool are two very helpful tools. While you're there, you can also add things to your Inspiration Board, share ideas to the Happiness Hacks – and look to see what other people are doing! Which is addictive.

4.Tell people what you're doing. At the very least, tell your family about the resolutions that you're trying to keep. Studies showed that people trying to make life changes, such as losing weight, were more likely to succeed if they told their families what they were doing.

5. Do it every day. It's counter-intuitive, but I've found that when I'm trying to get myself to adopt a new habit, it helps me to do that thing every day, instead of most days -- which would seem easier. For example, I blog six days a week (okay, I do get one day off), and I think that made it much easier for me to get into the swing of blogging. So if you're trying to start going for more walks, say, try going for a walk every single day.

6.Join a group. Even more useful than keep a chart is meeting with real live people who will press you to keep your resolutions. Mutual accountability is extraordinarily effective, as demonstrated by groups like Weight Watchers and Alcoholics Anonymous. That's why I think that launching or joining a happiness-project group is a great way to boost happiness. You have the happiness of meeting with friends, whether new or old, plus the happiness of keeping your resolutions. (Email me grubin at gretchenrubin dot com if you want the starter kit for launching your own happiness-project group).

Here are more tips on sticking to your resolutions, if you're interested.

I've had great success with dozens of my resolutions, and yet I still can't manage to put my clothes away nicely every night. Any advice on a strategy to try?

* When I heard about The 52 Weeks -- two friends resolve to try something new every week for a year -- of course I had to check it out!

* For a copy of my personal Resolution Chart, to see how it works, or the starter-kit for people launching a happiness-project group, email me at grubin at gretchenrubin dot com. Just write "chart" or "starter kit" in the subject line.

Trying To Get Yourself To Start Exercising (or Whatever)? 6 Tips for Sticking to Your Resolution.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

This Wednesday: 6 tips to hold yourself accountable for keeping your resolutions.

One thing I've discovered from doing my happiness project is – no surprise – it's easy and fun to make a resolution, but it's not always easy to keep a resolution.

I'm fascinated by the question: what allows people to keep resolutions? Why does one couch potato suddenly decide to start going to the gym, and then goes regularly for years, while another similar couch potato just can't stick with a program? Why does my sister keep resolving to learn to cook, but never follows up? Why can't I make myself floss regularly? And yet I've been able to keep my one-sentence journal.

The first step, in my case at least, is to make a concrete, well-directed resolution. Samuel Johnson wrote a prayer that includes the line, "O GOD, grant me to resolve aright, and to keep my resolutions." At first, this puzzled me. I understood praying for the strength to keep resolutions, but why make the special request to be able to "resolve aright"? Now I understand that resolving aright is very important. (See #1 below.)

The second step is to hold myself accountable. This is enormously important. The constant review of resolutions, and the knowledge that I'm being held accountable for sticking to them, makes a huge difference. I know that this holds true for other people, as well.

So how do you hold yourself accountable? Here are some strategies that have worked for me:

1.Frame your resolution in concrete actions. If you resolve to "Get more joy out of life" or "Embrace the present," it's hard to hold yourself accountable. It's easier to be answerable for a specific action like "Spend at least one hour a week hiking" or "Sit in a chair for fifteen minutes every day, with no distractions."

2.Keep a chart. Having made a resolution, you have to check yourself in some way. I print out a new copy of my Resolutions Chart each month and carry it around with me. At least once each day, I review and score my resolutions. (Email me at grubin at gretchenrubin dot com if you'd like to take a look at my chart, as an example.) This method works if you like to use old-fashioned pen and paper; if you prefer to do such things online, you can...

3.Use the Happiness Project Toolbox. If you want to keep your Resolutions Chart online, use the Toolbox – the Resolutions Tool and the Group Resolutions Tool are two very helpful tools. While you're there, you can also add things to your Inspiration Board, share ideas to the Happiness Hacks – and look to see what other people are doing! Which is addictive.

4.Tell people what you're doing. At the very least, tell your family about the resolutions that you're trying to keep. Studies showed that people trying to make life changes, such as losing weight, were more likely to succeed if they told their families what they were doing.

5. Do it every day. It's counter-intuitive, but I've found that when I'm trying to get myself to adopt a new habit, it helps me to do that thing every day, instead of most days -- which would seem easier. For example, I blog six days a week (okay, I do get one day off), and I think that made it much easier for me to get into the swing of blogging. So if you're trying to start going for more walks, say, try going for a walk every single day.

6.Join a group. Even more useful than keep a chart is meeting with real live people who will press you to keep your resolutions. Mutual accountability is extraordinarily effective, as demonstrated by groups like Weight Watchers and Alcoholics Anonymous. That's why I think that launching or joining a happiness-project group is a great way to boost happiness. You have the happiness of meeting with friends, whether new or old, plus the happiness of keeping your resolutions. (Email me grubin at gretchenrubin dot com if you want the starter kit for launching your own happiness-project group).

Here are more tips on sticking to your resolutions, if you're interested.

I've had great success with dozens of my resolutions, and yet I still can't manage to put my clothes away nicely every night. Any advice on a strategy to try?

* When I heard about The 52 Weeks -- two friends resolve to try something new every week for a year -- of course I had to check it out!

* For a copy of my personal Resolution Chart, to see how it works, or the starter-kit for people launching a happiness-project group, email me at grubin at gretchenrubin dot com. Just write "chart" or "starter kit" in the subject line.

Video: Make Three New Friends.

2010 Happiness Challenge: For those of you following the 2010 Happiness Project Challenge, to make 2010 a happier year – and even if you haven't officially signed up for the challenge -- last month's theme was Family, and last week's resolution was to Acknowledge the reality of other people's feelings. Did you try to follow that resolution? Did it help to boost your happiness?

This week's resolution is "Make three new friends."

If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…

Set a target goal of making three new friends.

7 tips for making new friends.

Start a happiness-project group.

If you're new, here's information on the 2010 Happiness Challenge (or watch the intro video). It's never too late to start! You're not behind, jump in right now, sign up here. For more ideas, check out the Happiness Project site on Woman's Day.

* I loved this post on Mom It Forward about Mary Poppins and motherhood: 5 tips for creating magical moments with your kids. So many of my resolutions are aimed at this: Take time for projects, Take time to be silly, Start a new tradition, Be a treasure house of happy memories, and so on.

* Please subscribe to my YouTube Channel. Check out the new design! To get the weekly video by email, right in your email in-box, you can:

-- On the GretchenRubin channel page, after you subscribe, click "Edit Subscription" and check the box, "Email me for new uploads." Or...

-- Go to your main drop-down box, click "Subscriptions," find the GretchenRubin channel, click "Edit Subscriptions," and check "Email me for new uploads" there.

Are You Annoyed by Excessively Cheery People? Or Extremely Gloomy People?

It's hard to have a real, new insight. But I think I may have had one. I'm still thinking through and testing this hypothesis, and I'd appreciate hearing if this rings true to you. Here it is:

Happiness has a surprisingly mixed reputation. Some people believe — wrongly — that happiness correlates with stupidity or self-absorption. Some people believe — wrongly — that others are generally attracted to unhappiness in others.

When I talk to people about these assumptions about happiness, I sometimes get a response that puzzles me. People say, "True, it's no fun to be around someone who's in the dumps all the time. But it's also annoying to be around someone who's unfailingly cheerful and chirpy, a Pollyanna who refuses ever to acknowledge that the glass is half-empty or to be realistic about things."

What's puzzling to me: I never seem to encounter people like this. Tiggers, to me, don't seem to be nearly as common as Eeyores. (And lest you imagine that I myself am a Tigger — I'm not. I'm a hurried, distracted, reserved kind of person. Not overly sunshiny. One of the reasons I started a happiness project was to be more positive; as they say, research is me-search.)

What was less puzzling: the people who complained about the Tigger/Pollyanna types seemed to be on the downbeat side — Eeyores — themselves.

Still, I wondered, where were all these Tiggers, and why did others find them annoying?

Then, it dawned on me — and here's what may be a big insight — perhaps the Tigger emerges in response to the Eeyore, and vice versa. To offset the Eeyore's complaining, downbeat, and pessimistic attitude, the Tigger becomes ever more bouncy and insistently cheery. And of course, in a frustrating cycle, the Eeyore feels the need to interject some realism and bite into the situation. Which drives the Tigger to take an ever more upbeat attitude.

I'm reminded of some scenes from the movie Happy-Go-Lucky, when the cheery main character Poppy takes driving lessons from a sour instructor. As the two interact, they drive each other further into their positions, and they enrage each other: she becomes more stubbornly positive, he becomes increasingly negative. Neither of them shows the slightest empathy for the other's point of view, and as each tries to convert the other, they destroy their bond.

This dynamics demonstrates the importance of the resolution to Acknowledge the reality of other people's feelings. If Tiggers insist, "Hey, it's not that bad," or "There's no point in worrying about it," or "Look on the bright side!" Eeyores feel all the more emphatic on insisting on the correctness of their attitude. The more Eeyores say, "Life isn't fair," "It's best to be prepared for the worst," and "You're not facing reality," the more frantically Tiggers act as cheerleaders. Tigger and Eeyore feel increasingly frustrated by the one-sided attitude of the other — and increasingly determined to offset it. If Eeyore and Tigger could acknowledge the truth of each other's feelings, they might slacken the tension.

If you're annoyed at home or at work by the presence of an unfailingly chirpy, cheery person, ask yourself: Is someone causing a negativity imbalance that's demanding a positivity counter-balance from this person? A spouse who suffers from depression, a boss who is a constant nay-sayer? In fact, if you're particularly annoyed by the Tigger in your midst, could you be the source of this imbalance?

The lesson for Tiggers may be this: you can't "make" someone happy, and don't exhaust yourself trying; in fact, it may be counter-productive to try. The more you point out the reasons to see the glass as half-full, the more you may cause a person to dwell on the reasons to see the glass as half-empty, as a counter-balance to your well-intended cheer.

The lesson for Eeyores may be this: don't try to force other people to adopt your point of view, even if you think it's more realistic or more philosophically worthy. You can't "make" someone see things your way, and you may actually make them shut their eyes tighter to what you're trying to show.

What do you think? I just had this idea a few days ago, so am still trying to decide if I think it's true. It's funny: once I say it, it sounds blindingly obvious, and yet it also feels like a major insight. The obvious! I spend all my time trying to recognize the obvious. Harder than it sounds.

* I laughed out loud several times while I was reading MetroDad -- "popply cock from a cocky pop."

* Join the discussion on the Facebook Page.

"Anyone Can Revolt. It Is More Difficult Silently to Obey Our Own Inner Promptings..."

"Anyone can revolt. It is more difficult silently to obey our own inner promptings, and to spend our lives finding sincere and fitting means of expression for our temperament and our gifts."

-- Georges Rouault

* Last night I had a great time meeting Isabel Kallman, a/k/a AlphaMom. A great site if you're an alphamom.

* I'm preparing a new version of the book video for The Happiness Project, with resolutions proposed by readers in place of my resolutions. If you haven't seen the current version, listing many of my favorite resolutions, it's here.

No More Complaining, "I Feel So Tired."

I'm working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone's project will look different, but it's the rare person who can't benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday's post will help you think about your own happiness project.

For the last few weeks, I've been complaining constantly. "I'm exhausted," "I feel so drained," "I don't have the energy to go to the park/organize a family playdate/run that errand." I find myself sitting at my computer, unable to prod myself to open a document.

I'm sticking to my exercise routine. I'm going to sleep at a reasonable hour. I'm not sick. I've been trying the various tips I know about how to get a quick boost of more energy. I think that, from time to time, I just feel worn out. I need a lot of extra sleep. Then I feel better. It has happened to me before.

But, I realized, I'm not giving myself an energy boost (or anyone else, certainly) by constantly repeating that I'm tired.

One of the critical pieces of information I've learned from m happiness project is that I should act the way I want to feel. If I want to feel more energetic, I need to act more energetic: pace when I talk on the phone, walk more quickly, put more energy into my voice. One of my favorite new resolutions is to Jump.

This sounds like magical thinking, but hard science show that the "Fake it 'till you feel it" strategy really works. The least productive approach is to do what I've been doing – dwelling on my feelings of tiredness. No more complaining!

Of course, if this tiredness persists, I'll go to the doctor. But I think it's just a periodic bout of lethargy.

And with that last comment, I vow, I'll stop talking about how tired I feel. As Samuel Johnson observed, "To hear complaints is wearisome alike to the wretched and the happy."

How about you? Do you ever have to remind yourself "No more complaining" -- about what?

* I love time-lapse photography of nature -- like this short video of scenes around San Francisco Bay. It's called the Unseen Sea, which is very powerful, suggestive, and imaginative name for it.

* Two apologies:

-- If you signed up to get a starter-kit for people launching happiness-projects groups, I'm sorry for the delay. I've been overwhelmed with requests -- which is thrilling -- but which means there's a bit of a backlog. Never fear, you'll get it!

-- If you haven't received your bookplates yet, I ran out and am waiting for the new ones to arrive from my publisher. As soon as I get them, I'll mail them out.

If despite this waiting, you'd like either a starter-kit or a personalized, signed bookplate(s), just email me at grubin at gretchenrubin dot com. Write "kit" or "bookplate" in the subject line.

"The Effort to Conceal Secrets Can Be a Burden That Leaves Less Room for Happiness."

Happiness interview: Frank Warren.

For years, I've been a huge fan of Frank Warren's work, PostSecret. It's a community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously, on one side of a postcard, and on the site, you can read what people have posted. (I also have PostSecret: Extraordinary Confessions from Ordinary Lives, which are these images collected in book form.) Reading these postcards is absolutely fascinating.

On the companion website, the Happiness Project Toolbox, people can see each other's resolutions, Secrets of Adulthood, etc. (Unless a person chooses to keep entries private, of course.) It was reading PostSecret that made me realize how engaging it was to have glimpses into other people's lives and thoughts.

It's interesting -- PostSecret, like haiku, Twitter, Six Word Memoir, and the like, show how much a person can convey in a very brief space.

Because I've been a fan for such a long time, I was thrilled to get the chance to ask Frank about his ideas on happiness.

Gretchen: What's a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?

Frank: Clopper Lake is a mile from where I live. There is a three mile trail around the lake and when I take my dog, Shadow, for walks there I can count on finding a sense of joy after about two miles. Of course Shadow is enthusiastic from start to finish.

What's something you know now about happiness that you didn't know when you were 18 years old?

As an adult I believe happiness is less important than I thought it was when I was younger.

Is there anything you find yourself doing repeatedly that gets in the way of your happiness?

Surprisingly, sometimes pursuing what I believe will make me happy gets in the way of my happiness.

Is there a happiness mantra or motto that you've found very helpful? (e.g., I remind myself to "Be Gretchen.")

I heard somewhere that pessimists are always pleasantly surprised. I think my happiness motto would be, "it could have been worse."

If you're feeling blue, how do you give yourself a happiness boost? Or, like a "comfort food," do you have a comfort activity? (mine is reading children's books).

Physical contact with my wife, daughter or dog usually calms me down. Or physical exercise to exhaustion.

Is there anything that you see people around you doing or saying that adds a lot to their happiness, or detracts a lot from their happiness?

The effort to conceal secrets can be a burden that leaves less room for happiness.

Have you always felt about the same level of happiness, or have you been through a period when you felt exceptionally happy or unhappy – if so, why? If you were unhappy, how did you become happier?

I find that even when my life gets better I still fall back to the same baseline of happiness. I think over the course of my life the sustained times of happiness were the periods when I was not aware of being unhappy.

Do you work on being happier? If so, how?

I do work on being happy but I sometimes find it counter productive. For example, within the last year my wife and I bought an expensive coffee maker and started enjoying coffee every morning. That made us happy for awhile but now I find that the caffeine affects my sleep and when I drink it in the morning currently it is more to stave off the effects of a mild caffeine withdrawal rather then for the pleasure it used to provide.

Have you ever been surprised that something you expected would make you very happy, didn't – or vice versa?

For the longest time I did not want to vacation in Hawaii. I imagined it to be a passive vacation location with great beauty but no action. My wife finally talked me into a trip there only to have my father confirm my beliefs a week before we left by telling us he had a boring time on his only Big Island trip. It turned out to be one of our families all-time favorite vacations. Hiking into a extinct volcano, learning to surf, seeing a double rainbow, even when the whole island lost power for the night it was all a terrific adventure.

* Speaking of the Happiness Project Toolbox -- check it out! Eight free tools to help you track your own happiness project. And you can see what other people are doing, which is fascinating.