Gretchen Rubin's Blog, page 20

Are You Making a “22 for 2022” List? Some Suggestions.

In the tumult of everyday life, it can be hard to take the time and energy to reflect.

For that reason, I embrace any prompt that helps us to think about what we might do to make ourselves happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative.

That catalyst can be a date (like January 1 or a birthday), an event (like a medical diagnosis or a job change), or a new idea (like an idea from a book or someone's comment).

On the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast, we love to explore different approaches to making change. We've talked about joining the yearly challenge (#Rest22in22), identifying a one-word theme for 2022, and making a "22 for 2022" list.

If you're refining your 22 for 2022 list, here are a few ideas. Over the years, we've seen the creative ways that people approach these lists.

You might...

Use 22 as a target number, like “Try 22 new recipes”—on my list, I aim to “Delegate 22 tasks”Divide the list into categories, like “Family,” “Work,” “Adventure”Build the entire list around a single important aim, like “Start my side hustle” or “Finish my Ph.D. thesis”Build the entire list your one-word theme—for instance, “Less” or “Health”Do a beautiful visual presentation of your listKeep your list displayed where you'll be able to review it frequentlyMake a list of only fun, enjoyable things! This approach is especially helpful for Obligers, who may need accountability to do the things that they'll enjoyDivide your list into “easy” and “stretch” aims—like 11 and 11Make a list as a family, with a sweetheart, etc.

Some things we’ve learned from previous years:

Pay attention to your vocabulary. The same activity can be much more appealing—or not—depending on how we frame it, the vocabulary we use, and how it suits our individual nature, values, and preferences.

Would you rather “practice piano” or “play piano?” Would you rather “Turn out the light by 11 pm” or “Get more restful sleep by going to bed by 11 pm?”

Don't worry about whether you'll be able to cross off all 22 items. In the many years we've done this exercise, neither Elizabeth nor I have ever managed to do that! The key question is: Does making this list help us to be happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative by the year's end? And it definitely does.

Both of us have rolled over many items from one year to the next. Sometimes, it takes a few years to get something done. But keeping it on the list means that it doesn’t fall completely out of view.

Sharing lists can be a great ice-breaking exercise. People's lists reveal a lot about interests, values, and aspirations—it's an interesting glimpse into someone's personality, but it's not so intimate that it feels inappropriate.

Have you made a list of your “22 for 2022?” Download the free PDF here. We love to see people's lists—it's fascinating to see what people do with their list—so if you're so inclined, post it to #22for22 on social media. We can get good ideas and encouragement for each other.

Exploring the Five Senses: Notes From the Sensonics Smell Test

As I've written about, I'm working on a book about the body and the five senses.

For too long, I've treated my body like the car my head is driving around town. My prediction for this book was that by getting back inside my body by systematically exploring my senses, I could shake my mind awake. I have to say, it's been a delight to investigate the senses!

I've conducted a number of self-experiments (and recruited my family members as well) as I've been doing this research. I've tried cryotherapy, I go to the Metropolitan Museum every day, I've compared the taste of apple and onion.

But how good was my sense of smell? To test it, I ordered sets of the well-regarded Smell Identification Test from Sensonics International, and before long, seven tests and the Administration Manual arrived. Although I’d ordered this test for fun, it was clearly not meant for recreational use but as a scientific instrument to measure people’s ability to smell (mostly for workplace and insurance purposes, I surmised).

“We’re all taking a smell test this weekend,” I announced to my family. “It will only take about fifteen minutes.”

To my relief, they were intrigued, not annoyed—even Jamie was willing to play along.

“What are we going to smell?” Eleanor asked.

“You’ll see.”

Saturday afternoon, we sat around the dining room table, and I passed out four long thick envelopes. “Inside your envelope, you’ll find four booklets, for a total of forty smells,” I explained. “Each page has a brown patch that’s the microencapsulated odor—scratch-n-sniff—plus four choices to describe the smell. Just fill in the bubble.”

We each opened our envelopes and started to scratch and sniff. The smells were very straightforward, such as leather, banana, soap, gasoline.

“But I don’t know what turpentine smells like,” Eliza said after a few minutes.

“Me neither,” said Eleanor. “And what about menthol?”

“Do process of elimination.”

We scratched and sniffed, then I scored everyone—and yes, we can all smell.

It was strange, though, smelling a familiar smell and not recognizing it as good or bad, then realizing that I was smelling “rose,” and suddenly the smell turned from elusive to good.

As counter-intuitive as it seems, I've learned, for the most part, smells aren’t inherently good or bad. We’re born with strong innate reactions to tastes, but we don’t have the same kick of inborn responses to smell. This makes sense: when we eat something, it can hurt us, so it’s important that even a newborn can reject the bitter taste that often signals poison, and favor the sweet taste that often accompanies nourishment. But nature doesn’t threaten us with killer smells, so we’re not born with innate responses, or at least, very few.

Whether we think the smell of hyacinth, new car, or skunk  is “good” or “bad” depends on our upbringing—including what our mother ate before we were born—our genes, our culture, our personal history, our health conditions, our expectations, the context, and changing fashions.

I like the smell of the parking garage in my parents' apartment building, but my daughter Eleanor really does not like it.

Is there a smell that you love that other people mostly don't like—or vice versa?

Exploring the Five Senses: A Taste Experiment with Apple and Onion

As I've mentioned before, I'm working on a book about the body and the five senses. What a delightful project! My prediction is that by getting back inside my body by systematically exploring my senses, I can shake my mind awake.

As usual, as part of my research I'm using myself as guinea pig—and I'm also involving the innocent bystanders around me. Last year I recruited my daughters Eliza and Eleanor for an experiment involving Life Savers as a tool to explore the relationships among smell, taste, and flavor. More recently, when Eliza was home, the three of us tried a popular taste exercise using apples and onions.

Taste is an unusual sense, because while we experience flavor in our mouths, those flavors are mostly a product of smells. The fives tastes—sweet, sour, bitter, salty, umami—are quite different from flavor, which is a combination of taste and smell.

As we eat, we smell our food twice. First, there’s orthonasal olfaction, the familiar kind of smelling that we do through our nose, when we inhale the smells rising from a plate of lasagna. But another kind of smelling is crucial to our sense of flavor: in retronasal olfaction, we also smell food when it’s in our mouth, because as we exhale, scents from the food are sent through an opening at the back of the mouth, up to the nose.

In what’s called the “olfactory location illusion,” we think that the food’s flavor is coming from our mouth, even though much of that flavor is furnished by the nose. Sometimes people think that their sense of taste is impaired when it’s actually their sense of smell.

This relationship has been highlighted in the time of the pandemic. In some people, decrease or loss of the ability to smell is a symptom of Covid-19. Many people think they've lost their sense of taste, because that's what they notice, but in fact it's their sense of smell that's impaired. Now that I've studied the sense of smell, I realize what a terrible loss this is; although we often take the sense of smell for granted, it's an essential element to our sense of vitality, connection, and awareness.

I have several friends who lost their sense of smell from Covid-19; fortunately, they've all got it back, more or less.

For this apple and onion experiment, Eleanor cut up cubes of apple and onion, and we took turns pinching our noses to taste and guess; according to what I’d read, if we couldn’t smell, we wouldn’t be able to tell the apple from the onion.

But even without smell, we all easily guessed correctly. True, for the first few seconds, it was difficult to discern the difference, and I was surprised at the initial sweetness of the onion. But an onion’s unmistakable bite quickly gave it away.

“Let’s try again with a potato,” I suggested, and Eleanor obligingly cut cubes again. Again, we could easily tell the difference. So much for that experiment.

Have you ever tried an experiment like this—or realized that your sense of taste has been affected by a change in your sense of smell?

Exploring the Five Senses: My Manifesto for Laughter

In my study of my five senses, I'm exploring how our five senses keep us attuned to other people. Nothing matters more to us than other people!

For one thing, we’re always listening for people. From the moment of birth, we prefer sounds that are like speech, and in the brain, vocal sounds generate more neuronal activity than non-vocal sounds.

To help us connect with other people, we have conversation, and we also have laughter. I’m surprised by how often laughter is ignored in works that examine speaking and listening, because laughter is a universal human behavior—and it’s all about engaging with others through sound.

It turns out that the main purpose of laughter is to bind people together. We’re far more likely to laugh when we’re with other people, and we’re more likely to laugh when we’re with friends than with strangers. Alone, we might smile or talk to ourselves, but laughing is something we do to send a signal to others. It's highly contagious.

Since learning about the importance of laughter for human connection, I’ve asked myself: What can I do to bring more laughter, more light-heartedness, into my life—and in this way, engage better with the people around me?

To raise the amount of engaged laughter in my life, I recently wrote a Manifesto for Laughter:

Smile more.Poke fun at myself.If I hear people laughing, ask, “What’s funny?” so I can join in.Point out the ridiculous and the absurd.Look for a gentle reason to laugh during a tough conversation, to lighten the tone.Cultivate inside jokes—as the hilarious writer, actor, and director Mindy Kaling points out in her book Why Not Me? (Amazon, Bookshop), “The best kind of laughter is laughter born of a shared memory.”Make callbacks by alluding to a previous comment or joke.When someone else laughs, respond.When people are laughing, linger in the moment; don’t rush through it.If I’m watching something funny on TV with other people, laugh out loud; we’re more likely to find something funny if we know someone else finds it funny.Be silly.Read funny books and watch funny TV shows.Remember, it’s funny because it’s true.

What would you add? What concrete strategies bring more laughter and light-heartedness into your life?

Do You Have “Foreground” Senses and “Background” Senses?

I'm working on a book about the five senses—what a joy it is to work on this project!

As I started my investigations, I noticed something about myself, and I wonder if the same observation rings true for others.

It seemed to me that I could divide my senses into "foreground" senses (the senses that I noticed most and that gave me the most pleasure) and "background" senses (the senses that didn't grab my attention and weren't major sources of pleasure for me).

When I started my project, my two foreground senses were sight and smell. My background senses were hearing and taste—and, I thought, touch. One thing I've learned from this project is that I'm far more attuned to touch than I'd realized.

One aim of my project is to pull all five of my senses into the foreground. I've made a big effort to pay more attention to hearing and taste, and this change has really boosted my sense of vitality and engagement.

How about you?

This question raises the issue of: What puts a sense in the foreground or the background?

Perhaps...

Do you find special pleasure in that sense?Do you spend more time exploring or seeking out new sensations related to that particular sense?Are you curious to learn more about that sense?

What else might distinguish a foreground sense from a background sense?

But perhaps I'm wrong that people tend to have "foreground" and "background" senses. Please let me know your experience!

Do you have foreground and background senses, and if so, which ones? Has a sense ever shifted from background to foreground, or foreground to background?

Of the 10 Categories of Loopholes, Which Do You Use?

In Better Than Before, my book about how to make and break habits, I identify twenty-one strategies of habit-formation.

All 21 strategies are important. All 21 strategies are fascinating. But one strategy is the funniest strategy, and that's the Strategy of Loophole-Spotting.

I love studying loopholes—and collecting examples. They're often so imaginative!

When we try to form and keep habits, we often search for loopholes, for justifications that will excuse us from keeping this particular habit in this particular situation. However, if we catch ourselves in the act of loophole-seeking, we can perhaps reject them.

There are 10 categories of loopholes, and while most of us have a few personal favorites, they're all very popular.

False choice loophole —"I can't do this, because I'm so busy doing that" Moral licensing loophole —"I've been so good, it's okay for me to do this" Tomorrow loophole —"It's okay to skip today, because I'm going to do this tomorrow" Lack of control loophole —"I can't help myself" Planning to fail loophole , formerly known as the "Apparently irrelevant decision loophole"—"I decided to explore one of my old neighborhoods and...well, look at that! I'm right in front of my favorite bakery. And of course, I couldn't possibly pass up their cookies." "This doesn't count" loophole —"I'm on vacation" "I'm sick" "It's the weekend" Questionable assumption loophole —"It's not possible to quit eating sugar" Concern for others loophole —"I can't do this because it might make other people uncomfortable" Fake self-actualization loophole —"You only live once! Embrace the moment!" One-coin loophole —"What difference does it make if I break my habit this one time?"

Loophole #5 has sparked the most comments. Which one is most popular, do you think? 1, 2, and 3 are very popular. Also 4 is more common that I first thought. Also 6, 7 of course, 8 comes up often, also 9. The last one, 10, works in every situation, so it gets a lot of use. Turns out that they're all popular!

My own personal favorite is probably #1, the "False Choice loophole." "I'm so busy writing, I don't have time to go to the dentist." "Everything is so wild right now, I don't have time to make plans with friends."

As Benjamin Franklin wryly commented in his Autobiography, "So convenient a thing is it to be a reasonable creature, since it enables one to find or make a reason for everything one has a mind to do."

We can almost always find a reason, a loophole, that excuses us from following a habit. But when we spot the loophole, we can perhaps reject the desire to let ourselves off the hook.

I love collecting examples of loopholes, because they're often so creative and surprising. So if you know of any great loopholes—used by you or someone you know—send them my way!

What loophole do you invoke most often, to get yourself out of a habit that you're trying to keep?

What I Read This Month: December 2021

For four years now, every Monday morning, I've posted a photo on my Facebook Page of the books I finished during the week, with the tag #GretchenRubinReads.

I get a big kick out of this weekly habit—it’s a way to shine a spotlight on all the terrific books that I’ve read.

As I write about in my book Better Than Before, for most of my life, my habit was to finish any book that I started. Finally, I realized that this approach meant that I spent time reading books that bored me, and I had less time for books that I truly enjoy. These days, I put down a book if I don’t feel like finishing it, so I have more time to do my favorite kinds of reading.

This habit means that if you see a book included in the #GretchenRubinReads photo, you know that I liked it well enough to read to the last page.

When I read books related to an area I’m researching for a writing project, I carefully read and take notes on the parts that interest me, and skim the parts that don’t. So I may list a book that I’ve partly read and partly skimmed. For me, that still “counts.”

If you’d like more ideas for habits to help you get more reading done, read this post or download my "Reading Better Than Before" worksheet.

You can also follow me on Goodreads where I track books I’ve read.

If you want to see what I read last month, the full list is here.

This year's challenge is now finished: Read for 21 minutes every day in 2021.

A surprising number of people, I've found, want to read more. But for various reasons, they struggle to get that reading done. #Read21in21 was meant to help form and strengthen the habit of reading.

For 2022, we have a different challenge: #Rest22in22. But keep reading!

December 2021 Reading:

The Anomaly: A Novel by Hervé le Tellier (Amazon, Bookshop)—I whipped through this novel. I loved it, and I especially loved the very satisfying ending (this kind of novel often has a disappointing ending).

Sentient by Jackie Higgins (Amazon)—A fascinating look at the sensory powers of other creatures.

The Song of Achilles: A Novel by Madeline Miller (Amazon, Bookshop)—I love a re-telling of a myth.

The Soul of Kindness by Elizabeth Taylor (Amazon, Bookshop)—A fascinating portrait of one character's influence on the people around her.

A Ghost in the Throat by Doireann Ní Ghoríofa (Amazon, Bookshop)—A very thought-provoking memoir of one writer's interest in the life of another writer.

Catholics: A Novel by Brian Moore (Amazon)—A fascinating novel about the nature of faith, institutional religion, and character. It's a novel from the 1970s that's set in the future, right about now, so that's interesting, too.

Thin Places: Essay from In Between by Jordan Kisner (Amazon, Bookshop)—Interesting essays that also tackle the issues religion and faith (see above).

A View of the Harbour by Elizabeth Taylor (Amazon, Bookshop)—More Taylor! Another great novel of character.

The Chiffon Trenches: A Memoir by Andre Leon Talley (Amazon, Bookshop)—A fascinating memoir of family, fashion, creativity, and relationships.

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke (Amazon, Bookshop)—HOW I LOVE THIS NOVEL. Short, beautiful, suspenseful. I've read it twice now, and will surely read it many more times.

Of Walking in Ice: Munich-Paris, 23 November–14 December 1974 by Werner Herzog (Amazon, Bookshop)—A very strange, interesting memoir. I looked online if any other readers were surprised by Herzog's habit of breaking into other people's houses every night during his travels. Apparently not.

The Thirteenth Tale: A Novel by Diane Setterfield (Amazon, Bookshop)—A page-turner. A classic tale, with many twists and reveals.

The Beauty of Dusk: On Vision Lost and Found by Frank Bruni (Amazon)—A powerful memoir of the experience of partially losing the sense of sight.

Join Us to Rest for 22 Minutes Every Day in 2022: #Rest22in22!

For years, I've been thinking, reading, and writing about human nature, and how we can be happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. How can we change, if we want to change?

And that subject has led me to think a lot about habits.

Habits are the invisible architecture of everyday life. If we have habits that are good for us, we're far more likely to be happier; if we have habits that are bad for us, we'll find it tougher to be happy.

For the past two years, on the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast, Elizabeth and I have issued a yearly habit challenge to ourselves and listeners.

In 2020, the challenge was to "Walk 20 in 20," i.e., to walk for 20 minutes every day in 2020.For 2021, because 2020 was such a tough year (!), we decided to make the challenge a delightful challenge: to "Read 21 in 21."

Listeners told us about the extraordinary benefits they've received from their daily walks and daily reading. It's exciting to hear how much good can come from simple, manageable, consistent acts.

As 2022 rolls around, it seemed to Elizabeth and me that we're all really worn out. So our challenge for 2022 is...REST for for 22 minutes a day in 2022.

Many people think of rest as merely the absence of work, not as something valuable in its own right, and sometimes, it’s even equated with laziness.

Actually, the opposite is true. Research shows that rest is an essential element of working well and working smart. Working for long stretches without breaks leads to stress and exhaustion. Taking time to rest can refresh the mind, boost productivity and focus, and replenish mental energy. Research also suggests also that taking regular breaks raises your level of engagement which, in turn, is highly correlated with productivity. Rest also sparks creativity by helping people to make unexpected connections, open to different possibilities.

Rest can include actual sleep, which is absolutely essential to health, mood, and immune function. Many people might use Rest 22 in 22 to go to sleep earlier each night, arrange their schedule so they can sleep a bit later in the morning, or take a daily nap. (To hear me talk about my daily nap, listen to episode 337 of Happier.)

As you consider joining the challenge, if you'd like to learn more about the value of rest, check out...

Why Your Brain Needs More DowntimeBeyond Memory: The Benefits of SleepHow Resting More Can Boost Your Productivity

If you rest for 22 minutes per day for 365 days, that's 8,030 minutes, or almost 134 hours of rest. Imagine how refreshed you'll feel after that rest!

As you think about this challenge, my book Better Than Before might be useful. It explores the 21 strategies we can use to build our habits. Sometimes people tell me, "Twenty-one is too many! Give me the three big ones!" But different strategies work for different people, so consider the menu of options and choose the strategies that work for you.

For instance, I describe how to use the Strategy of Pairing, the Strategy of Convenience, the Strategy of Scheduling, the Strategy of Accountability, the Strategy of Monitoring, and the Strategy of Identity.

To make the habit of resting easier, I've created a one-page “Checklist for Habit Change” that lists all 21 strategies that you can use to strengthen this habit. You might use many strategies in combination—which is much easier than it sounds.

To download the checklist, visit this page and scroll down to "Better Than Before."

If you're struggling to form a habit, and want to figure out which of the 21 strategies will work best for you, my book The Four Tendencies can help you decide the approach that's most likely to work. If you don't yet know if you're an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel, take the quick, free quiz here. (More than 3.5 million people have taken this quiz!)

If you're discouraged because you've tried and failed in the past to master an important habit, don't worry. There's nothing wrong with you. You probably just set things up in a way that doesn't suit you. Answers and solutions exist! It turns out that it's not that hard to change a habit, when you do it in the way that's right for you. #Rest22in22 is a great opportunity to experiment and learn what works best for you.

You can join my app, the Happier app. There, you could choose a tool that would help you stick to the habit of rest. You might choose the...

Photo Log (take a photo of your pillow each time you rest)Accountability Partners (text a friend each time you've rested or are about to rest for 22 minutes)One-Sentence Journal (record your experience and reflect on what works)Numbers Tracker (record your minutes)Don't Break the Chain (check off every time you rest)

If, like many people, you like using those kinds of tools, but you prefer the paper version, I've created three terrific journals:

One-Sentence Journal Know Yourself Better Journal Don't Break the Chain Habit Tracker—this is my personal favorite; it has so many features to help you stick to a "streak"—and what a great "ta-da" memento it will make at the end of the year!

If you want to keep a record of "Rest 22 in '22" on one page, I've created a free one-page PDF that lets you cross off every day you rest. You can download it here.

A note about "Don't break the chain" tool: Remember that while we don't want to break the chain, if we do break the chain, it's not a big deal—we can just start back up the next day. What we do most days matters more than what we do once in a while.

If you join this "rest" challenge, use the hashtag #Rest22in22 to post from your daily rest on social media. As the Strategy of Other People explains, we pick up habits (for better or worse) from other people, so it's helpful to feel like we're joining with others. It can give us accountability; it can help us remember what we want; it can remind us of how great it feels to be refreshed and energized.

As you think about your #Rest22in22, try to find ways to make it easier or more convenient to rest.

You might...

use these seven tips to help yourself go to bed on timeavoid resting in your workspacerearrange your space to create a more inviting area for restupgrade your bed linen, buy a new pillow, or otherwise make your rest more delightfulfind a podcast that helps you drift into sleepfind a soundscape that helps you rest—I love the sound of rain in a forestcreate a rest ritual, to help yourself drop easily into a restful statethink about how grateful your future-self will be if you develop a habit of rest in 2022consider how others might benefit if you're more rested

What other tips and resources have you found helpful? Let me know! We can all learn from each other.

One bit of folk wisdom that I heard when I had very young children was that "Sleep begets sleep." I found that to be true of my children, and also of myself. I sleep and rest better when I'm well-rested than when I'm over-tired.

Join us to #Rest22in22.

New Year—Same You. Better Tools! Or, What’s the Best Way to Cook an Egg?

Around this time of year, we start hearing a lot of "New year, new you!" messages. It's common to make resolutions meant to make us happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative.

On the one hand, it's exciting to think about all the positive changes we might achieve in the coming year.

On the other hand, it can be discouraging to remember how we may have tried and failed in the past.

Because the reality is: new year, same you.

So, if it's the new year but same you, how can we make the new year a happier, better year?

Better tools.

People often argue that a certain tool is the "best" tool or a certain approach is the "right" approach. "Make a to-do list!" "Get up early and tackle that hard task first!" "Get an accountability partner!" "Get clear on your 'why!'"

But there is no one "best" way or "right" way—just whatever way works for you.

Some people are morning people, others are night people. Some like a to-do list, some like a ta-da list, or a to-day list, or a could-do list. (Take a look!) Some people need accountability; some resist it. Some people want to handwrite a sentence; others, to click a button.

In my experience, however, people cling to the idea that there's a "best" way, and believe that if someone would tell them the "best" way, their habits would stick.

I know this, because people often asked me, "Hey, Gretchen, in Better Than Before, you write about the 21 strategies we can use to make or break our habits. But what's the best way?"

When I told them, "No, there's no best way, it depends on what works for an individual, we need to figure out what's true for you, etc., etc.," I could see that often, they didn't believe me. They wanted the BEST way.

So now, after I say all that other stuff, I add, "After all, what's the best way to cook an egg?"

And then they understand: There can be no single best way to cook an egg, because it depends on how you like to eat your eggs. Or maybe you don't eat eggs at all!

Or to put it another way: The bird, the bee, and the bat all fly, but they use different kinds of wings.

The fact is, no magic, one-size-fits-all solution exists.

Good news: It turns out that it’s not hard to change your habits, if you do it in the way that's right for you. The trick is 1) to know yourself, and 2) to choose the right tool for you. I've been working hard to develop more tools, so that I can offer a great habit-change tool for just about everyone.

For instance, the Happier app.

The Happier app can help you achieve any aim you choose, you can pursue several aims at the same time, and it guides you to the tool that's likely to work well for you. For example, you might…

Read twenty minutes every nightDonate to a good cause each monthTake medication daily

To help you succeed, the Happier app nudges you to frame your aim in a concrete, measurable way: “Walk 20 minutes every day,” instead of “Exercise more.”

The Happier app also helps you figure out which tool to use.

Happier uses my Four Tendencies personality framework to suggest the targeted, personalized tool that’s likely to work for you. When you sign up, you take the quick quiz to find out whether you’re an Obliger, Questioner, Upholder, or Rebel (or, if you already know it, you can select it). Then, when you set up a new aim, the app suggests a tool that’s likely to be useful based on your Tendency.

But you can use any tool you want to use, at any time. Choose from...

Don’t Break the ChainOne-Sentence JournalPhoto LogNumbers TrackerAccountability Partners

Happier is also packed with tips, hacks, and strategies. It features thought-provoking quotations, know-yourself-better questions, and audio stories.

Plus everyone’s favorite feature: “Spin the Wheel,” where you spin to get a five-minute challenge to give yourself a quick happiness boost.

We worked hard to make it beautiful to look at, and easy to use. This is the app that puts the “app” in Happier!

Also, journals.

While many people love the convenience of an app, some people prefer to write by hand in a notebook. For these folks, I've created a set of journals to help people know themselves better and to stick to their habits.

Know Yourself Better Journal : This journal suits people who want more self-insight, but need more direction than a blank page. It offers questions and distinctions meant to help you achieve deeper understanding—and discover ways you might make your life a little happier. Don't Break the Chain Habit Tracker : For many people, the “don’t break the chain” approach is a powerful way to build daily habits, and this tracker makes it easier to maintain helpful streaks. It provide structure and flexibility, with space to visualize progress in different ways, use “pass” stickers if you need to take a day off, and award yourself gold-star stickers to celebrate your milestones. One-Sentence Journal : Satisfying yet manageable, the One-Sentence Journal is designed for those who yearn to keep a record of their lives, but don't have the time or energy to maintain a conventional journal. You might use the One-Sentence Journal to record the progress of a new business or project, to write memories of a child’s first year, to track a course of medical treatment, to note creative insights, as a gratitude journal, or as a food or travel journal.

Most people use a mix of tools. I sure do.

Speaking of teaching questions, like "What's the best way to cook an egg?" here's another of my favorites: "What's the best time to plant a tree?" The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second-best time is now.

The best time to start a happiness project is twenty years ago. The second-best time is now.

I hope the Happier app and products will help you start now. Onward to a happier you in 2022!

Vikram Kapoor: “Catch People Doing Something Right and You Improve Productivity in Astounding Ways.”

Interview: Vikram Kapoor

Vikram Kapoor is a leadership coach, speaker, and facilitator who weaves together cutting-edge science and practical wisdom around aims of goal-setting, leadership, team-building, and collaboration. His book, First Serve Yourself (Amazon, Bookshop) was released earlier this year.

I couldn't wait to talk to Vikram about happiness, habits, and coaching.

Gretchen: What’s a simple activity or habit that consistently makes you happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative?

Vikram: I like Marshall Goldsmith's Daily Questions. I ask myself some questions every day and score myself on a 1-10 scale based on how well I did to "try my best to do X." This comes from Ben Franklin's earlier daily reflection on virtues. My questions are about relationships, meaning, joy, health, and anything in particular on my mind that I want to focus on. The questions might vary from month to month. To help me with this, my personal assistant and confidant Philip calls me every night for 3 minutes to ask me these questions. I spoke to Marshall about these questions and his approach, and I've found after doing it for over a year that there has been marked improvement in many important priorities in my life. If you’re an Upholder you probably don’t need a personal assistant, and there are apps out there that can help.

You’ve done fascinating research. What has surprised or intrigued you—or your readers—most?

What always surprises me is the ease and elegance of some of the most effective—I call them interventions but I mean activities - from positive psychology and organizational behavior. For example, catch people doing something right and you improve productivity in astounding ways. Focus on values and treat people like people, and you build a rabid organizational culture. Select managers for their ability to conduct themselves, not just their performance, and you build a new kind of organizational and individual resilience. Help each other figure out our biases and map out a way forward. Some people and organizations just have this right, and it shows.

Would you describe yourself as an Upholder, a Questioner, a Rebel, or an Obliger?

Oh I'm a Rebel. It struck me how easy it was to assess that and to have others assess it as well. The trouble now is to figure out how to really maximize (and optimize) that tendency.

Does anything tend to interfere with your ability to keep your healthy habits or your happiness? (e.g. travel, parties, email)

Everything will always threaten to get in the way, but with daily "Rocks"—daily priorities, and with a sense of structure, you can do it. The key for me is self-compassion. As a Rebel, I am never going to get everything done as expected. There will be an ebb and flow, and a dance that I must take solace in.

Have you ever been hit by a lightning bolt, where you made a major change very suddenly, as a consequence of reading a book, a conversation with a friend, a milestone birthday, a health scare, etc. 

When I was doing conflict resolution work at FEMA, I was set to go help in Texas, but during a meditation retreat I had a sudden urge—an inner pull—to go to Puerto Rico. I just got angry at myself that I was taking the easy road, and that anger consumed me and I decided I had to stop being scared and just go to Puerto Rico. Luckily my boss let me switch deployments and I spent a month in San Juan, supporting the disasters there, which led to a big realization, further study at Harvard, and later my job at the United Nations where I built and ran a peer coaching program in over 40 countries during the pandemic. I can trace all of that back to one moment on the mat.

Is there a particular motto or saying that you’ve found very helpful?

I just love Rotary International and their motto "Service Above Self" always sticks with me. My first book is called First Serve Yourself, and I hope to keep this theme going in the future. I was a former club president of Rotary and I believe very much in their mission and values. We have to take care of ourselves, and beyond that I'm all about getting out into the world and serving others.

In your field, is there a common misconception that you’d like to correct?

A common misconception is that coaching is actually just mentoring or consulting. Many people are horribly confused about what is coaching and what is self-coaching. There's a real nuance to coaching and to taking on a coach approach, and I hope that through my book, readers will get a better feel for what coaching engagements do and how they can be helpful. Frankly speaking, coaching is a competitive advantage in today's world and it's really my mission to help young leaders and underprivileged change makers to gain access to these kinds of resources.

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